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Was reviewing my backup CDs when I came across this word document that I have written 8 years ago based on my personal encounter... wonder where and how Tomi is now... 4 December 2002 Thursday 8.30pm – 12midnight……..the merlion city It was a night that will leave a lasting impression and memories in my heart and mind. I wanted to pen this down, so that if one day my memories should fail me when I grow old…. when I read this personal note that I have written, hopefully I will recall the short time that we spend together…. Me and Tomi, a nice sweet Japanese guy…. I have wanted to go home after my gym workout, but as I was feeling down lately, I decided to go for a spin around. While driving around aimlessly… I ended up along Tanjong Pager area…the thought of going to a sauna didn’t cross my mind… but tonight I decided to drop by RR. I never have the intention for fun… just for some relaxation, was not in the mood to cruise anyway. While queuing to pay for the entry, my eyes rested on the back of a guy wearing a white cap, I couldn’t see his face but caught sight of his smile from a side view as he enters the door. I’m not sure if he saw me at that time…he looked like a local Chinese…but anyway who cares. I was there with relaxation in mind, nothing else. I met him again at the locker area. This time was face-to face where I can look at him clearly.. he was taller than me, about 1.72m, fair..lean hunky built…but his face resembled someone very strongly… an actor…. I was never ever crazy about Daniel Wu or go ga-ga about him … but I was looking at someone who look very much like him… He looked and smiled shyly to me, I returned smile but quickly walked away. “Anyway, I don’t go for good-lookers… and I’m here to relax” I quickly dismissed the thought that went through my mind. I walked around, being cruised by others but I pay no attention, declining politely the advances from the guys there. I met him again at the dark room area, from the little lighting that is available, I noticed that he was looking at me at my direction constantly…. Ok I shall “test” to see if he is really eyeing me… went into the dark room, he followed… his advances was alittle unsure, maybe it’s because I did not give him any signals or indications that I am interested in him. His hug was gentle and warming….. many a times I sensed that he wanted to kiss me, but didn’t do so as he was not sure if I will agree to it… we just hug each other tightly in the dark.. “You will to go to the room ?” I whispered into his ears… Without hesitation, he held my hand and lead me to the nearest vacant room. We have a warm and passionate time together in the room. And it’s the first time that I really experienced warm, sincere, passionate lovemaking.. Many a times, we just look at each other and smiled sweetly , while holding each other tightly and kissing passionately together. I don’t kiss, but this time round… I lost control of myself. “What’s your name?” “Tom… and I am Japanese… do you mind that I not local Chinese” “No, I do not mind and I really can’t tell that you are Japanese.. I thought you are Singaporean”…. “Sorry, my english not very good…” “You can speak quite well, I understand that you said…” “ I saw you outside at the counter just now and I was looking for you… worried as I can’t find you.. “ he whispered into my ears.. My previous impression of Japanese guys were that they are conservative, reserved and very MCP… but he was warm, loving, and expressive… Whenever he tried to ask something in English, he will knit his eyebrows together in deep thoughts, trying to construct the sentences in English… and looking at him in that manner, I must admit that my heart did flutter abit. “How long will you be staying in Singapore” “1 day… I will be leaving tomorrow morning…” “What time do you need to be back?” “before 12midnight”.. “You want to have dinner?” he asked.. “Ok, I can bring you to try some local food”. I brought him to a local coffee-shop nearby… ordered Hor Fun and fried rice.. “In Japan, we don’t have this kind of eating places”… he looked around, very enthusiastic and excited about what he sees around him. He tried the Hor Fun and the fried rice… “Good…. Very nice…I never have this in Japan”… He took out his small video-cam from his bag and start focusing on me….. “Smile…” he said as we ate together. “You know where is Mer…lion…? In Japan, Merlion is singapore and Singapore is Merlion…” he asked “Do you want to see the Merlion?” He nodded his head eagerly. “Ok, I will bring you there and after that, I will drive you back to your place… you don’t have to take a taxi back” We walked towards my car…”Can you bring me to a public phone where I can make a call back to Japan?” “No problem, we will go right away” “My mother was crying on the telephone, saying that she missed me very much”.. He told me as we returned to the car after making his car. “Can understand that, afterall you are going away for so many months to a dangerous country and she is concerned about your safety too” “I do not want to go but that is my job…. “ he replied softly. A feeling of sadness crept into my heart. We drove to the Esplanade, I parked along the road besides the building and we walked towards One Fullerton, where the Merlion was. It was an illegal parking, but I didn’t bother. All I wanted to do was to fulfill his wish to see the Merlion…. He was happily shooting away with his video-cam… as I walked besides him… “So nice… so beautiful… “ he exclaimed excitedly., while speaking in Japanese in “Record” mode. “ I want to show this to my mother when I go back…the mer..lion” As I walked besides him, I tried to commit every feeling, every scene and every feeling into memory… as I enjoyed the night and the strolling along the bridge with. I have walked along this bridge before previously… with friends, with my past dates…. But this night, the feeling was entirely different….a kind of warm warm feeling just overwhelmed by heart. I only wished that this moment will come to a standstill., but the rational me knows that that is impossible. But still, I allow myself to indulge in that magical feeling that night. For once, I look at the Merlion from a different perspective tonight. “Let’s take a picture together…. “ He drawn me close to him and pointed the video-cam at both of us… “Remember to email me the pictures when you have access to the internet…” For I know that he will not have access to the internet for at least few months. We drove down to Orchard Road, as I wanted to show him the Christmas lightings…I wasn’t sure that at that time about 11pm, the lighting are still on… he was excited and thrilled, I can tell that he was enjoying every minute of it… We drove down from Orange Grove Road, down Orchard Rd ( he loved the Christmas tree lighting on Marriot Hotel), Towards Centrepoint.. down to Raffles City before heading towards ECP towards Changi direction. “Thanks for bringing me down to Orchard Rd…. and for showing me these lights… it’s beautiful… “ He clasped my left hand tightly, while looking earnestly and sincerely at me. I’m not sure if he will get to see these lights again, but I just want him to have some memories… “Did people ever tell you that you looked like Daniel Wu?” I turned to him and asked, while driving . “Who’s Daniel Wu?” He asked, looking at me with an earnest look… “He is a Hongkong actor, American Born Chinese, very cute and good looking guy and you looked very much like him in terms of facial appearance” He smiled…I guess Daniel Wu still is relatively unknown in Japan. During the drive, we held hands together… I know it was dangerous to drive with my right hand only, while my left hand was tightly clasped together with his right hand as he sat beside me in my car. I normally drive with both my hands holding onto the steering wheel tightly, and for the first time in my life, I learnt to drive with only one hand. Whenever we reached to a stop at traffic lights or waiting for the cars in front to move, we were looking at each other.. the feeling was great, something that I have not experienced for a long long time… many of times, both of us will automatically drew closer to each other., and locked lips together passionately. I do not know how many drivers or pedestrians caught sight of 2 guys kissing in the car, I don’t really bother or care at all… “You are a nice guy… and I will never forget you” He looked at me and said sincerely. “Me too… though I have no intention to be at the sauna tonight..I have wanted to go home but I’m glad that I went… if not I will not have meet you… maybe it’s fate and my destiny to meet you there” I replied. “I wished that you have stayed longer in Singapore..” “ Ya…” “ I won’t know if we will ever meet again… or I will get to see you again.. but promise me that you will take care of yourself, whenever you go and whenever you are…” I held back my tears when I said this to him. When I think about the destination that he will be going to… a highly potentially dangerous country where he may be in danger, or even losing his life… a deep feeling of sadness overwhelmed me. This really may be the last time that I will see him… “If you can, do come back to Singapore, and I will show you around”…. Along the drive along ECP, we clasped hands tightly together, I have since learnt to drive with my right hand because I wanted to enjoy the last few moments with him together as we head back to his destination. He lifted my left hand and kissed it gently a few times… while both of us locked eyes together. The good thing is that traffic wasn’t too heavy during that late hour, else it will have been unthinkable… While nearing his destination, he started to doze off lightly, while clasping onto my hand tightly.. He will wake up after few seconds: “Sorry, I should not sleep… but tired…. Have only sleep 2 hours since I left Japan 10 days ago… stressful… can’t sleep…. But holding your hands… I feel very warm and peace… that I want to sleep… wish we can sleep together…” I can understand the stress that he is undergoing through… the future unknown as he is heading to a country filled with danger… will he be safe and return home sound? I really don’t know… and I can only pray that he be protected and keep safe from danger and evil. It’s not his choice that he has to proceed there, if there is peace in this world and if every nation can live in harmony with each other… then we won’t feel so despondent at that moment. I never really consider world issues, about war and peace until that very moment, and that feeling was terrible… for I fear for the safety of the person besides me. As we pulled up at the destination point, it was 11.50pm…before his deadline time of 12midnight. “ Promise me that we will not forget each other…. “ I said to him. He draw his face towards me and we kissed again, for the last time…. “I will not forget you… and thanks for the time” “Do take care of yourself …. And I hope to see you again someday” … I fought and held back my tears “Me too…” He sat besides me, clasping my hand tightly again… I guess we just want to remember that time and moment that we have spent together, despite it being so short; none of us has expected this night to turn out so meaningful and so unexpected… “Bye… “ he said softly as he got off the car. “Take care….ok..” I said to him, and waved… I hated to utter the words “Good-bye” cos to me, it will represent the point of no return… and I don’t want that to happen. As I turned and drove away from the place, tears were streaming down, as I have fought hard not to let him see me cry. I can see teary eyes as he looked at me when he held my hand and said goodbye… to me that was sufficient enough… and I don’t expect more… Dear Tomi…. You may not have the chance to read this message, but whenever you are and wherever you go, please take care and I will not forget you. You already have a special place in my heart and mind, and I will always keep you alive in my thoughts of you. Though the time we spent together is short.. but it’s sufficient for me… I’m not sure if we will ever meet again, but I really hope that we will, one day…

nat ho julian hee I wish Nat was gay ... but... Julian....oh he is sooooooo cool simply to die for .. saw him at the gym.. a bit shy, didnt chnge in open.. but so cute face on a manly body..ahh.. hardon until got precum just watching himblow dry his hair... wish I could blow wet his dick till dry