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No one can stop anyone from being with another person. Your family can try but it will not turn out well. Instead of stopping your brother, had you sit down and ask your brother why is her attracted to the "old" woman？ Beside, being Charmed (下降头), which is a possibility. Could he be financially be supported by the rich lady? Or that the lady is really good in bed and able to satisfy him? Or other reasons, not known. I am sure there might be more reason/s why your 22yo brother leave your 19yo best friend. -Maybe your 19yo friend is childish, demanding and immature, etc. which your brother don't like? -She does not allow your brother to have sex with her, but the lady on the other hand has no problem providing. -Your brother realised that he likes older mature women? -Or other reasons not know. It's rather apparent that you and your family don't like that lady, due to all the bad gossip, etc. but it seem no amount of force can tear them apart. If you and your family really loves your brother, your family should put their personal feelings asides and be empathic to your brother, if like what you said, you looked up to him. Instead of getting emotional and irrational, your family should find out why by taking time to talk in a non emotional civilized way. My 2 cents

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What’s It Like To Come Out As Gay To The SAF? by Yeo Boon PingJune 27, 2020 SHARE TO All images by Zachary Tang unless otherwise stated. In 2001, an article entitled “Understanding Homosexual Servicemen—A Case Study” appeared in Counsel-Link, the quarterly publication of the SAF Counselling Centre (SCC). It was written by Lily Wong-Ip, who was, at that time, Head of Research and Training Branch at SCC. The article describes her experience counselling N, a 22-year-old “Chinese homosexual serving his National Service as a clerk in an army camp”. N was referred for counselling through his medical officer for help in “deal[ing] with interpersonal problems in camp as a result of his effeminate behaviour”. Lily and N established a “warm and amicable” client-therapist relationship. She writes, “I found N positive and motivated towards counselling.” These sessions, however, seemed to trouble Lily: “I had wanted very much for N to choose a ‘straight’ life … I was saddened when he chose to remain as a gay after we had explored the challenges he would face as a homosexual. In fact, as the counselling relationship strengthened, I encouraged N to attend a programme for homosexuals, run for the purpose of helping gays change their sexual orientation to one that is ‘straight’. “I also felt hypocritical when I assured N my acceptance and respect for him, regardless of his decision on whether he would remain gay, when my desire was for him to make a different decision.” Despite this problematic perspective, Lily ends her article on a positive note. “I am grateful to N who gave me the privilege to enter into his world of homosexuality,” Lily concludes. “I have learnt much about the homosexual subculture and it had challenged me to review my own worldviews and stereotypes.” Screenshot of an archived version of Lily's article on Counsel-Link. Accounts of Singaporean men coming out in the army, whether to their medical officer, or informally to their bunkmates, are rare. Correction: local forums are rife with speculation and anonymous—hence unverifiable—tales. They range from the closeted pre-enlistee worried about being bullied in the army, to gay men sharing their experiences declaring 302 (the official medical code the SAF uses to classify gay men), to car fanatics who are “scared kena touched in the dark” by their gay bunkmates. Properly documented reports of what happens when you declare 302, however, are few and far between. The most reliable and oft cited belongs to Lim Chi-Sharn, who meticulously detailed the process of coming out as gay to his medical officer because he, too, was frustrated by “[sketchy] word-of-mouth … information available online” and “wanted to partially fill this lack of publicly available information by documenting [his] own experience”. Originally published in 2002 on the email group SiGNeL (the Singapore Gay News List), and later picked up by Fridae and Yawning Bread, his account is lengthy and worth reading in full. For those short on time, some things stood out to me: 1. Chi-Sharn’s “officer cadet training … [was] terminated” after he disclosed his homosexuality; 2. Homosexuality is listed as an example of a “social problem” in the medical declaration form (though, in a later version that I found, the phrase seems to have been altered to “social issue”); 3. Capt. Tan, the interviewing doctor, asked Chi-Sharn, “Are you the man or woman?”; 4. Capt. Tan mentioned that ‘sensitive’ areas [in the military] are probably out-of-the-question” to gay servicemen; 5. Capt. Tan told Chi-Sharn that the SAF does not consider homosexuality a mental illness. However, Capt. Tan also acknowledged that the SAF’s “‘Directory of Diseases” contains entries on homosexuality and transsexuality. Lily’s article may provide some insight into why, in his interrogation of Chi-Sharn, Capt. Tan took this line of questioning. In an attempt to understand N, her client, better, Lily constructed a model of the potential problems gay servicemen may face. The military presents a challenging environment for them, Lily writes—completely without irony—because: ■ It is assumed that gays would threaten discipline and morale ■ It is assumed that the male bonding that takes place in combat would be jeopardised if its potential for erotic contact were condoned ■ It is believed that gays are subject to blackmail in the military context Seen in this light, the interview by Capt. Tan was designed to assess if Chi-Sharn would pose a problem to the armed forces in these ways, and, if assessed to do so, what vocation would suitably sequester him away from his fellow servicemen. Granted, these pronouncements are by one woman and do not necessarily reflect the motivations underpinning SAF’s treatment of homosexual men. But we must remember that Lily was the Head of Research and Training Branch at SCC, and was writing for a publication affiliated to the SAF. Therefore, it is hard not to understand her article within the larger context of institutional policies regarding homosexuality in the military. It is, however, almost too easy to demolish each assumption or belief. All three points are categorically disproven by multiple militaries around the world, such as Israel, Canada, and Australia, which have abolished discriminatory policies towards queer soldiers without compromising military effectiveness. In fact, “British military officials saw an unexpected benefit of allowing gays to serve openly—better retention of qualified soldiers and sailors in key positions.” Moreover, if eroticism in the army were truly disastrous to its capabilities, then it logically follows that all women should be banned from serving. Yet the SAF constantly attempts to attract women to a military career and celebrate its female soldiers, which is a glaring contradiction to its fear of “erotic contact” in the army. (Just to be clear, I am all for equality in the army, whether it’s gender or sexuality.) Equal treatment also removes any need for queer people to stay in the closet while serving the military. The freedom to live openly, in turn, prevents them from being susceptible to blackmail: blackmail loses its power when its victims have nothing to hide. Discriminatory policies based on a fear that “gays are subject to blackmail in the military context”, therefore, create an absurd Catch-22 situation. Soldiers in such armies keep their sexuality a secret because of institutional discrimination motivated by the fact that these soldiers have a secret … It is a circular (il)logic that characterises the contradictions gay servicemen experience while serving NS. A rendition of the medical questionnaire pre-enlistees have to fill in. It is unclear if this is the most current version of the form. Credit: Singapore LGBT Encyclopaedia. Both Chi-Sharn’s account and Lily’s article were published almost 20 years ago. The treatment of gay men in the army may—should—have changed since then. In fact, Lily’s article, “Understanding Homosexual Servicemen — A Case Study” can be accessed only through a snapshot of the page taken by the Internet Archive. It is no longer available at its original URL, which may suggest that the SAF is now more enlightened in its policies regarding gay servicemen and no longer endorses or subscribes to outdated views about sexuality. “It felt very tiring … to have to wear a mask [and hide who I am]," Kennede says. On a peer level, it certainly seems so. Four years ago, Kennede Sng, a second-year university student, came out to his medical officer (MO) during Basic Military Training (BMT) because he was having issues adjusting to military life. “My bunkmates were making jokes like, ‘Do you think there are any gay guys in our bunk? Are they going to rape us at night?’ And my sergeants would say, ‘Run faster! Stop being such an Ah Gua!’ “It felt very tiring … to have to wear a mask. I was already very out, and it felt like I had to step into the closet again … There was [also] a lot of built-up resentment because the first day, [the commanders] try to motivate us by saying things like, ‘Picture your house with your wife and your kids’.” Expecting the casual homophobia and heteronormativity to persist in the medical centre, Kennede was thus surprised to find the MO being “very chill about it”. “The MO … told me, ‘I don’t want you to think it’s a mental health problem. I also want to know exactly why this is causing you any problems that you have now,’” Kennede recalls. “I really appreciated that.” Kennede's PC told him, "If anybody is giving you shit for [being gay] ... you can let me know." Kennede’s superiors were as understanding. On his first day at Selarang Camp, Kennede’s platoon commander (PC) assured him: “I read your file. I know why you dropped out of BMT … If anybody is giving you shit for it or anybody teases you for it, you can let me know.” With the support of his PC, Kennede eventually felt comfortable enough to come out to his fellow clerks, who took the news in their stride. Most of them had never met a gay person; their main reaction was fiery curiosity about all manner of gay things. At the same time, they were careful enough not to offend Kennede by bombarding him with potentially sensitive questions. But Kennede opened the floodgates to them. “I told them I’m very sex positive. They can ask me about whatever,” he laughs. Encouraged by his experiences in Selarang camp, Kennede decided to come out soon after when he underwent BMT a second time. Now that his section was consciously aware of the presence of a gay person in their presence, no one cracked a single homophobic joke. “I came out to my CO and DYCO by email … They know me quite well and were quite positive about it," Prashant says. Prashant Somosundram, the general manager of The Projector, came out 16 years ago when he returned to Singapore after his undergraduate studies to serve as a regular in the Republic of Singapore Air Force. Like Kennede, his peers and superiors were supportive of him and his decision. “I had a core group of friends in the service who were fully aware … and [provided] a support system at a peer level,” Prashant tells me. “I came out to my CO and DYCO by email … They know me quite well and were quite positive about it. They were keen … for me to continue working there. At that level, it wasn’t an issue.” What was an issue, however, was Prashant’s security clearance. Prashant served in a “classified operational unit”, in his words, and thus had to go through Category 1 security clearance. As part of the process, it was mandatory to answer a questionnaire designed to “weed out people who visit prostitutes, who are financially indebted, or are gay,” according to Prashant. “Because these three, they believe, would subject you to blackmail, and therefore trade national secrets to the enemies,” Prashant speculates, correctly alighting on Lily’s (fallacious) belief that “gays are subject to blackmail in the military context”. After he declared he was gay in the questionnaire, the Military Security Department (MSD) put Prashant through two full-day, one-to-one interviews in a windowless room. “It was a very long interrogation process,” Prashant recollects. “Right down to intimate details about your life, who you hooked up with, all these. And then there’s a polygraph test after that to see if I had compromised security while I was away [for my overseas studies]. “The process with the interviews was quite painful. You’re dealing with people who are not familiar with what queer lives are … The burden was on you to try and explain what your lifestyle was. “Some of the questions were, ‘Do lesbians become lesbians because they have very bad experiences with guys? Do you think you’ll get HIV?’” In the end, Prashant obtained his Category 1 clearance. When he finished his 3-year stint in his operational unit and was up for his staff tour, however, his homosexuality became a thorny point for MSD. "It was always trying to negotiate this space and trying to pretend you don’t know the reason [why you are passed up for promotion].” “When I applied for the renewal … I didn’t get the clearance. It’s supposed to be an automatic renewal. But, yeah,” he laughs helplessly. “I kept chasing MSD, but they wouldn’t commit to anything. They basically just said, ‘your new job doesn’t require Cat 1 clearance.’ Which wasn’t the case. “MSD [also] gave directions I shouldn’t [come out] to anybody during my staff tour. They said it would compromise my position then. “And even though my staff tour bosses were putting me up for promotions, at some level higher up, it wasn’t happening anymore. I was getting letters that said ‘You’re not meeting your promotional requirement.’ But my bosses don’t know why, because I’m performing well at the staff tour … it was always trying to negotiate this space and trying to pretend you don’t know the reason.” Prashant’s inability to obtain Category 1 security clearance after he came out, unfortunately, does not seem an isolated case. The 2014 book Mobilizing Gay Singapore: Rights and Resistance in an Authoritarian State by NUS law professor Lynette J. Chua describes a similar scenario: One activist, Robbie, was a career officer but not a government scholar. After having kept quiet on previous checks, he decided to disclose that he was gay during a routine security clearance. He was ordered to write down the names of places he frequented socially and people he knew. Subsequently, he was blocked from the highest level of security clearance, which he had obtained before; however, Robbie is uncertain whether that was due to his coming out or due to the fact that he had already told his superiors that he did not intend to renew his contract. The near identical nature of Prashant’s and Robbie’s experiences suggests that such policies regarding homosexual servicemen are widespread, even institutional. Kennede, too, says he knows of officers who were decommissioned for being gay (though I could not verify this information independently). Credit: Singapore LGBT Encyclopaedia. Under the “SAF’s ‘Directory of Diseases’”, as Chi-Sharn puts it, any gay serviceman will be classified under Category 302. The code derives from ICD-9 (the 9th edition of the International Classification of Diseases published by the World Health Organization), in which 302 is code for “Sexual deviations and disorders”. ICD-10, published in 1992, removes code 302 entirely, signaling that it is now understood that sexuality exists on a spectrum and should not be pathologised. The SAF’s internal “Directory of Disease”, however, still retains its ICD-9 roots, 28 years after the publication of ICD-10. Egregious as that sounds, such medical anachronism in the military is slightly more pardonable when we realise how enormous an undertaking such a migration entails. For instance, as Singapore LGBT Encyclopaedia notes, Singapore’s hospitals only adopted ICD-10 in 2012; it even had to enlist help from the University of Sydney to ensure a smooth transition in what was essentially a complete revamping of its systems and processes. In other words, it may be possible that these ostensibly discriminatory practices are not motivated by homophobia or malice, but bureaucratic inefficiency that prevent policies from keeping up with the pace of change in the real world. Prashant’s reflection of his times as a regular serviceman seems to attest to this. “My challenges were more at a bureaucratic level, where there are arcane policies that they haven’t changed, or where they don’t know how to deal with somebody who’s out. “People were generally quite supportive and open. And it wasn’t a threatening environment,” he concludes. Kennede agrees: “In that environment, there was no maliciousness at all.” That said, both Prashant and Kennede acknowledge that they may possess certain privileges that make it easier for people to accept them. Prashant reflects, “We are in positions of privilege, whether it’s education or passing as cishet [a cisgender, heterosexual person]. [To someone not familiar with queer issues,] we may not be perceived as offensive, as a very effeminate person might be.” Gay soldiers do not discriminate in their willingness to give up their life for Singapore. Credit: Jordan Tan / Shutterstock.com. While it appears that attitudes, both medical and fraternal, towards gay men in the armed forces have greatly improved (“We are the generation that grew up with Glee,” Kennede says, by way of explanation), this, in no way, excuses the systemic discrimination that still seems to operate in the background, preventing gay servicemen from working in sensitive positions or rising up the ranks. The SAF’s reluctance to let go of ICD-9 also reminds us that progress, sometimes, has to come from the top. Most people are ready for change; those who are not tend to revise their opinions after interacting with a gay person. But policy-based discrimination legitimises and naturalises hate. It allows hate speech to disguise itself as the defender of an imaginary moral world. And yet gay soldiers do not choose who to defend. They do not discriminate in their willingness to give up their life for Singapore. Do you have any experiences coming out in the army? Share them with us at community@ricemedia.co.

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Yes Yes. I totally agree with your observation. I am also observing the same thing too. The younger guys aren't shy at all those appear clean shaven in front of their peers. I find such sightings encouraging especially for people from an older generation like me. Freeballing and clean shaving seems to be more acceptable among men, which is great!

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I was out having breakfast this morning. There was this young chap (in his mid-late 20s?) who was there to packet his breakfast. He was in a grey basketball shorts just like the photo above. Can clearly tell he was freeballing. His dick looks long and it does not hang down complete. It's pointed at a slight angle like 10-15deg of ground. Thus, it's quite obvious. He is probably cut as I could see the shape of his glans clearly (also like the photos above) What a great way to start FriYAY, right? 😁

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Yes interesting. But Ricemedia shoudl do an update if there are any changes. The article is from 2020. 377A was repealed only on Nov 2022. The government actually said at many occasions that other regulatory "things" will not change with the repeal. Here an example for education and media: In a statement on Monday, the Education Ministry said: “Our education policies and curriculum will remain anchored on Singapore’s prevailing family values and social norms, which the majority of Singaporeans want to uphold.” “These include the family as the cornerstone of our social fabric, and marriage between a man and a woman.” Sexuality education taught in schools will remain secular, based on “traditional values” and sensitive to Singapore’s multiracial and multi-religious society, the statement read. Earlier on Monday, the Ministry of Communications and Information (MCI) said lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) media content would continue to warrant higher age ratings even with the repeal of 377A. "The repeal of S377A does not mean that we are changing the tone of society. This position also applies to our policies on media content,” said the ministry. https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/section-377a-repeal-moe-prevailing-family-values-2892481 The question will be if the repeal has any impact on the treatment of homosexuals in the military... MinDef will need to respond to this, if there is any change in current regulation?

If individuals are really hungry for RAW, please go buy a pack of sashimi to satisfy your crave. When it comes to sex these days. If you do not contract HIV, you may contract another infection that burns. Nothing is safe regardless blowjob or fuckjob. The article referenced Singapore residents, which implies that foreigners who live here are also included. Although the news reported on HOW HIV is spread, it stopped short of speculating WHERE the source. When a tourist approaches you for sex, be wary of them because we have no idea where they are from or what medical condition they are in before they trick you into going to bed. In order to have a more accurate data, I think it would be helpful if they reported Singaporeans and foreigners separately for clearer picture on HIV infection, but I think they veil it for a "reason".

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You'll never know... 😄 Was feeling tired after a long day, decided to do a proper massage to relieve body ache. Walk in without appointment to one of those neighborhoods unisex massage places near my apartment. Asked for 2 hours of oil massage, was assigned this young guy who when saw me.. you know give me that "shit so late still assigned me this old uncle look". That Didn't bother me at all, just give me my needed massage. Through his massage, I must say he did a good job. Oil massage at times would concentrate on the butt, n of cause fingers would slide across the ass and a bit of massage on the scrotum area. Makes me damn hard. When time to turn over, he gives a wow surprised to see my big brother. I didn't react, let him continue to do his job. Chest massage rubbing my nipple makes me hard again. He then place my hand on his chest to massage my arm. A gentle drop with my fingers on his nipple makes him give out a loud "ah", he 😍 likes it 😁. Without warning., He hold my dick to stroke it and suck it. I got a horny hungry boy 😋. A small testing on his nipple n ass makes him hot, stripped off all his clothing, offering his nipple for me to suck it. He loves ❤️ nipple play 😄. Well I'd say my tongue job is good. And my both hands are busy working on his sexy chest n ass. He's damn hot and hard on make him masturbate himself. Guess what he did was to lub my dic when suck me. Spontaneously climb on top of me n tried to sit it in. My big one is not easy on him. I didnt force it, just rubbing it outside makes him moaning loud. ( by now it's late, probably he knows everyone has gone home, just us in the shop.) He tried a few times with different positions, its raw sex! Safety is a concern with strangers ( I do take PrEP), possibilities is low for him to get it in without slow preparation 😉. Haha he's hot all over me, he is daddy's puppy boy 😜 by now. It's getting late, I signal to him the clock, he smiled, said he want to cum, then tried to fuck me. How to fuck without lube right.. haha such a cute guy. Finally give up, sit on top of me rubbing on his ass n masturbate himself vigorously. Probably when shooting his load make his ass relax abit n got a taste of my dick. Can see he's so high shooting out alot.. his smooth ass also trigger me to cum. 😜😍 He actually gives me a hug n kiss when I tip him. Haha a grouchy boy transformed to a happy satisfy boy. 😂

after abit of a wait, i managed to get a slot for his message. let me tell you discreetguy is a good looking chap who knows how to utilise his strengths. good pressure all throughout the massage. Firm, attuned, and all throughout super respectful of me. Dimly lit, good music, not too cold/hot. Comfortable place with alot of care. Ended very satisfactory, and he did spend abit of time admiring me from different angles which was a unique experience

I've been in love with my best friend since we were 13. He is charming and athletic, problem is he is super str8. We had gfs in highschool and always hang out together. He has no idea that I'm bi and secretly in love with him. We would watch porn together back in highschool, but things never happened. I wished we could jerk off together or something, but like i said, he is super str8. The closest I can get is sniffing his Renoma and boxers when i hang out in his house. I love the musky and moist smell of his underwear and the salty taste, jerking off to it makes me cum hard. He's married with kids now, but still as hot and manly as ever. During his bachelor party, we went to BKK for holiday. One night, we went to the strip club. Beers and girls dancing on poles, the usual stuff. We were both enjoying ourselves. Later I paid for a lapdance for him, the girl he's been eyeing on. Sitting next to him watching him get horny and high is so exciting. The feeling is strong, I remember it like it was last week. After the dance, I asked him how was it, he said damn hot bro. I can't help but look at his bulge, I was sure he was hard. It must had been the beer, I brave myself and cupped his bulge like a str8 guy would do to each other. He was definately hard, I joked as said "tua kee" (huge is hokkien). That definately got mine hard as well. Guess what, what happened next is a dream come true. He touched me back, even squeezed a bit, sizing me up. Then he said, not bad bro yourself, not bad! Feeling he took advantage by squeezing my dick, I took the opportunity to really touch and sized him again. He was totally cool with that during that moment. That was one of fav memories with him. To be cont'

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