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Gay turned Str8; Married man, confused with life and fallen for young cousin

Guest bothered

By Guest bothered
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Guest guest bothered

Guest guest bothered

Posted
Posted

i am new in this forum and hoping to get some advice.  i was molested by few men when i was a kid. growing up, i thought having sexual encounters with men are pretty usual. until i fell in love with a woman and we got married. i have been faithful within 10 years of our marriage and never had sex with anybody else until this lately, there was this burning desire to do what i used to do when i was young. but this time, i am falling in love with my male cousin who is way younger than me. he just cant get off my mind. i dont know how to tell him as we regularly see each other. he even told quite a times that he has higj regard on me.

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15 minutes ago, Guest guest bothered said:

i am new in this forum and hoping to get some advice.  i was molested by few men when i was a kid. growing up, i thought having sexual encounters with men are pretty usual. until i fell in love with a woman and we got married. i have been faithful within 10 years of our marriage and never had sex with anybody else until this lately, there was this burning desire to do what i used to do when i was young. but this time, i am falling in love with my male cousin who is way younger than me. he just cant get off my mind. i dont know how to tell him as we regularly see each other. he even told quite a times that he has higj regard on me.

 

Go to saunas and do with sex with an adult , in a safe enclosed enviroenment, do it with a minor, and you will lose everything you worked hard for all your life,

 

it will ruin your marriage, your reputation , maybe your job if you are caught and hauled to court  for having sex with someone who is a minor, <Banned Words> years, no matter if consented,

 

End of story,no need to see saw between decisions,

 

Stop right there or face the consequences,'

and from the way you write, can tell you cannot take the heat of public scrutiny,

 

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Posted
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get your cousin out of your mind. better leave innocent people out of the show.

 

We don't know the age of your cousin but please don't repeat what happened to yourself as a kid.

You don't have any right to do that. you must learn that exploiting innocent kids is bad and you should know yourself best.

 

I personally would recommend to you to seek a therapy or discussions with a psychiatrist.

You need to seek mental treatment.

I think it even helps if you tell your wife what happened to you in the past and talk about it.

 

We don't want to read your story in the newspaper in some years if you think doing what you are talking about here is ok.

 

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Guest 20-20

Guest 20-20

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Guest guest bothered said:

i am new in this forum and hoping to get some advice.  i was molested by few men when i was a kid. growing up, i thought having sexual encounters with men are pretty usual. until i fell in love with a woman and we got married. i have been faithful within 10 years of our marriage and never had sex with anybody else until this lately, there was this burning desire to do what i used to do when i was young. but this time, i am falling in love with my male cousin who is way younger than me. he just cant get off my mind. i dont know how to tell him as we regularly see each other. he even told quite a times that he has higj regard on me.

 

I don’t think you need anyone to point out the obvious. By society’s moral conventions, adultery is wrong, deceit is wrong, homosexual intercourse is wrong, preying on youths or the vulnerable is wrong, incest is wrong, and committing more than one of these transgressions at the same time is multiply wrong. The fact that you were molested as a child doesn’t mitigate this, let alone your desire for your cousin no matter how fervent. 

 

While there may be a small minority of folk who are willing to see the gray areas of life, and grant that the liaison you’re contemplating may not be all fire and brimstone if some sensible precautions are taken, the majority of people are going to react very badly if you’re discovered, and there will certainly be hell to pay. 

 

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if the object of your desire wasn’t your (younger) cousin. But just imagine what would happen if things went wrong. You can’t stop being relatives. The shame and acrimony is going hang over not just you but over the extended family. So if you genuinely care for your cousin as well (and not just lust after him), you’ll spare him a thought –and the possible repercussions. 

 

Practical advice? Try to get him off your mind by keeping a distance and seeing him as little as possible. Distract yourself with other pursuits. Find another outlet for your sexual desire. If it really has to be another guy rather than your wife, there are many candidates out there who would be willing to help you remain discreet. Or else ply yourself with so much porn and jerk off till you have no appetite left. 

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2 hours ago, bothered said:

definitely, i will never do that to a kid. it was a traumatic experience. my cousin is 25.

 ok good.

 

But I wouldn't do it with a cousin. If all comes out or he starts feeling angry , you're in trouble.

 

There many 25y old guys waiting for you.

 

May I ask which men molested you as a child and how did it happen?

 

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3 minutes ago, Guest 20-20 said:

 

I don’t think you need anyone to point out the obvious. By society’s moral conventions, adultery is wrong, deceit is wrong, homosexual intercourse is wrong, preying on youths or the vulnerable is wrong, incest is wrong, and committing more than one of these transgressions at the same time is multiply wrong. The fact that you were molested as a child doesn’t mitigate this, let alone your desire for your cousin no matter how fervent. 

 

While there may be a small minority of folk who are willing to see the gray areas of life, and grant that the liaison you’re contemplating may not be all fire and brimstone if some sensible precautions are taken, the majority of people are going to react very badly if you’re discovered, and there will certainly be hell to pay. 

 

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if the object of your desire wasn’t your (younger) cousin. But just imagine what would happen if things went wrong. You can’t stop being relatives. The shame and acrimony is going hang over not just you but over the extended family. So if you genuinely care for your cousin as well (and not just lust after him), you’ll spare him a thought –and the possible repercussions. 

 

Practical advice? Try to get him off your mind by keeping a distance and seeing him as little as possible. Distract yourself with other pursuits. Find another outlet for your sexual desire. If it really has to be another guy rather than your wife, there are many candidates out there who would be willing to help you remain discreet. Or else ply yourself with so much porn and jerk off till you have no appetite left. 

 

I personally find your first paragraph of your expose too harsh and insulting on adulterers, homosexuals etc. If this is your point of view than I call it narrowminded , black and white viewing of life.

Step out please and be more tolerant to accept different life styles.

 

I made my point clear earlier and do not recommend "Bothered" to start anything with his cousin due to reasons stated.

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10 minutes ago, Guest carousel said:

 

I personally find your first paragraph of your expose too harsh and insulting on adulterers, homosexuals etc. If this is your point of view than I call it narrowminded , black and white viewing of life.

Step out please and be more tolerant to accept different life styles.

 

I made my point clear earlier and do not recommend "Bothered" to start anything with his cousin due to reasons stated.

 

Read more carefully please. I wrote “by society’s moral conventions”. These are not my personal views, nor do I dictate social conventions. I merely highlight them in the harshest possible terms because there are many moralistic and narrow minded folk out there, especially in Singapore, and these are the people who are going to pounce on TS if the shit hits the fan, not me. By giving him a foretaste of the kind of condemnation he can realistically expect, the hope is to give him a clearer picture of the possible consequences. To sugar coat the harsh reality may, on the contrary, lull him into a false sense of security. 

 

Instead of directing your self-righteous wrath at others who are trying to provide a helpful perspective, perhaps you could channel it into effecting some social change in Singapore and ushering in a new age of acceptance and enlightenment? (Good luck with that!)

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38 minutes ago, Guest 20-20 said:

 

Read more carefully please. I wrote “by society’s moral conventions”. These are not my personal views, nor do I dictate social conventions. I merely highlight them in the harshest possible terms because there are many moralistic and narrow minded folk out there, especially in Singapore, and these are the people who are going to pounce on TS if the shit hits the fan, not me. By giving him a foretaste of the kind of condemnation he can realistically expect, the hope is to give him a clearer picture of the possible consequences. To sugar coat the harsh reality may, on the contrary, lull him into a false sense of security. 

 

Instead of directing your self-righteous wrath at others who are trying to provide a helpful perspective, perhaps you could channel it into effecting some social change in Singapore and ushering in a new age of acceptance and enlightenment? (Good luck with that!)

 

Just make it clearer next time. I didn't write anything "self-righteous" was just pointing out your harsh first paragraph. It would have been easy to add, that these might not be your personal views.  I m not here to bash others or provoke. Instead, I prefer open discussions.

Please understand but I just intended by my response to avoid that the threadstarter "Bothered" takes your initial post wrongly.

Let's go back to the topic.

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Coolbriz Rising Star

Coolbriz

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hi,

 

I’m not sure what triggered your sudden desire to expand your love towards your cousin but I feel that while you haven’t started anything yet, you should continue to love your wifey and live happily ever after. Why get yourself into this (shit) and the consequences may get out of hand. All these provided of course, you truly love your wife without any hidden feeling that you may have suppressed for the past 10 years. You could try to redirect your sudden surge of “excessive” love back to love your wife even deeper :) 

Edited by Coolbriz

Be cool, like a breeze...

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riverrobles Mentor

riverrobles

Posted
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hi @bothered, like you I was also abused as a kid, when I was 7 - 8 years old. My abuse stopped when we transferred to another place however I got this urge to do what I was told to do when I was a kid when someone touched my privates while in a cinema. Then everything changed. I'm telling this because I want to ask if there was physical trigger like a touch , a hug or a kiss that was initiated by your cousin? Then from that physical trigger you are now thinking you are in love with your cousin?

 

I do hope you can answer the ff questions sincerely no need to answer it here but just for your own validation. 

  1. Are you identifying yourself as gay guy or a straight guy? 
  2. Does anyone in your family know what happened to you when you were a kid?
  3. May I ask if you are having problems with your wife?
1 hour ago, bothered said:

it triggered when i was so down and he was this funny guy who consistently gave a smile on my face. anyways, thank you ALL for the pieces of advice.

 

Based on your statement above,  your actual problem is you are so down, can the solution be found within your family unit which is your wife and your kids (I assume you have).

 

For my advice: Avoid meeting your cousin if it can not be avoided, just avoid any physical contact . Focus all you energy and love on your family , saving your relationship with your wife , meet a counselor, if your religious, please pray for mental fortitude, strength and love of family.

     I'm really turned-on if both heads (the head above and the head below) are both functioning well

 

https://linktr.ee/riverrobles  

 

 

 

 

Copy of plus - 1.jpeg

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  • G_M changed the title to Gay turned Str8; Married man, confused with life and fallen for young cousin
Steve5380 Grand Master

Steve5380

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Posted
16 hours ago, Guest guest bothered said:

 i was molested by few men when i was a kid. growing up, i thought having sexual encounters with men are pretty usual. until i fell in love with a woman and we got married. i have been faithful within 10 years of our marriage and never had sex with anybody else until this lately, there was this burning desire to do what i used to do when i was young.

 

4 hours ago, bothered said:

it triggered when i was so down and he was this funny guy who consistently gave a smile on my face. anyways, thank you ALL for the pieces of advice.

 

It appears that you feel attraction for males. Otherwise, there are surely funny 25 year old girls who can give you smiles.  But don't worry, you can be bisexual, gay and straight.  Hopefully you can still have sex with your wife.  Then, assuming you are not down anymore,  all you have to take care of is your gay self.  "Fidelity" is not in our genes but came from the rules of society. So you won't be violating any divine rules if you have sex with other people.  What should be your primary concern is to protect your wife from the severe pain of your infidelity.  So either don't have extramarital affairs, or take utmost care that they are only known to you.  And this includes rigorous protection from STDs if you decide to do it.

 

If you can justify periodic short trips to surrounding cities, you could divert them to Bangkok, Pattaya and spend a small fraction of what would cost you a divorce, couple therapy, paying a good number of young money boys who will smile at you and do much more.  If done smartly,  you could continue in a successful marriage feeling fulfilled, and hopefully this will make being down something of the past.

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yag123123 Newbie

yag123123

Posted
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On 1/13/2019 at 1:42 PM, bothered said:

definitely, i will never do that to a kid. it was a traumatic experience. my cousin is 25.

 

Ask what kinda girl turns him on

 

Find a porn that fits it

 

Suggest him to watch together

 

Jerk off with him

 

Warning

The only jerk off...the porn is a coverup prop

 

But do note that things can go gay really fast

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