Nicholas Lim Scandal Saga (compiled)

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, hbst said:

 

This shows the failure of our country's education system to prevent sexual misconduct through education and counseling.

 

 

Problems like these will keep coming as long as the earth turns around the sun.

Unless the schools, institutions solve the root cause by chemical castration of all their male students...

[Guest so li hai]

18 hours ago, Guest Justice said:

Nicholas Lim committed a crime, a crime that deserves to be punished severely.

 

No amount of apologies and light sentence for him can ease the trauma and future repercussions of the victim.

 

This case was handled badly by relevant authorities imo and should be reviewed for harsher punishment to be fair to the victim and public.

 

your opinions doesnt matter. you are not professional. u did not study relevant courses to be in the authorities position to declare any judgment. if u think u can be better than them. go apply their position.

[Guest Guest]

2 hours ago, Nightingale said:

And that's why ragging in campuses during the yearly freshmen orientation season can never be stamped out and has perpetuated for decades.  The relevant campus authority closes both eyes, not keeping in touch at ground level despite complaints.

 

That's rich coming from a pervert lecturer like you who masturbates while harbouring sexual fantasies about your underage male students.

 

You have been brazenly defiant about it, saying there's nothing wrong with doing so and challenging people to report you to the police.

 

Who are you to get on the moral high horse now to talk about the perpetuation of ragging and sexual misdeeds on campus?

[Steve5380]

8 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

That's rich coming from a pervert lecturer like you who masturbates while harbouring sexual fantasies about your underage male students.

 

You have been brazenly defiant about it, saying there's nothing wrong with doing so and challenging people to report you to the police.

 

Who are you to get on the moral high horse now to talk about the perpetuation of ragging and sexual misdeeds on campus?

 

There is nothing illegal or immoral about fantasizing, about masturbating.

What is immoral and should be illegal is to be a pest that trolls after decent people in online forums.

[Guest lit]

oh god this thread gonna be in flaming room soon isnt it?

[thickhead79]

He cute n fit

 

Sure many gay will suppirt him

 

Hope can fuck him or get fuck by him

[Ben Ben Ben]

59 minutes ago, thickhead79 said:

He cute n fit

 

Sure many gay will suppirt him

 

Hope can fuck him or get fuck by him

Maybe he can turn gay because there are full of bitches and sluts in straight world. 

[Xiaoxianrou]

Everybody makes mistakes. 

It takes a lot of courage and integrity to own up.

[Guest Justice]

Since victim wants justice to be served proper, respect her, she is the victim, not anyone of you here and anyone else. You will never understand how she feels deep inside her heart!

 

Conditional warning without a trial is so light of a sentence for someone who is of adulthood, sound, intellectual and an ex representative from an insurance company. Moreover, Nicholas's statement does not tally with the victim's. In this case, I rather believe in the victim but it takes more guts for her to speak up for herself to the mass than an apology from Nicholas.

 

Be mature and rational guys. It's disappointing to see that so many of you are actually siding with the offender just because of his looks or pitifulness. 

[hbst]

22 minutes ago, Guest Justice said:

Since victim wants justice to be served proper, respect her, she is the victim, not anyone of you here and anyone else. You will never understand how she feels deep inside her heart!

 

Conditional warning without a trial is so light of a sentence for someone who is of adulthood, sound, intellectual and an ex representative from an insurance company. Moreover, Nicholas's statement does not tally with the victim's. In this case, I rather believe in the victim but it takes more guts for her to speak up for herself to the mass than an apology from Nicholas.

 

Be mature and rational guys. It's disappointing to see that so many of you are actually siding with the offender just because of his looks or pitifulness. 

 

I am actually more disappointed by NUS and the authorities for having a flawed system of handling sexual perpetrators, and failing to give adequate support and counseling to sexual victims. It is this failure and incompetence of NUS and the authorities that pushed Monica to expose Nicholas. I feel that it is the responsibility of NUS and the authorities to address these issues urgently to bring closure for both camps.

 

Btw I'm wondering, if the perpetrator is a fat and/or ugly guy, would he receive more condemnation and less sympathy?

[West93]

8 hours ago, hbst said:

 

 

The government's reaction is rather passive, they focus on creating laws and regulations on voyeurism and illegal spy recording, but fail to prevent the problems in the first place via sex education in schools and tertiary institutions, and fail to establish proper channels for victims to get support.

 

How do you expect to have proper sex education in SG when even a simple condom advertisement sent out by email in a university can raise such a huge hooha? Or how you can never see open advertisements of birth control anywhere in SG, or how the socially conservative and increasingly Christianised younger generations are holding even tighter sway over the tone of sex education as favouring abstinence over knowledge and protection? 

 

Make anything about sex something taboo or to be ashamed about openly owning and you'll get plenty of people with the urge to act out their socially or lawfully illicit fantasies like voyeurism for the rush of it. In the west their problem is with people sharing sexual videos and pictures that were taken willingly but not to the entire world apart from those they intended it for, in the East the problem is with people trying to take secret videos and pictures of sexual stuff because Asian and Confucian culture in particular suppresses natural sexual urges and ideals so damn much. 

[Guest Guest]

4 hours ago, hbst said:

 

I am actually more disappointed by NUS and the authorities for having a flawed system of handling sexual perpetrators, and failing to give adequate support and counseling to sexual victims. It is this failure and incompetence of NUS and the authorities that pushed Monica to expose Nicholas. I feel that it is the responsibility of NUS and the authorities to address these issues urgently to bring closure for both camps.

 

Btw I'm wondering, if the perpetrator is a fat and/or ugly guy, would he receive more condemnation and less sympathy?

 

I agree with you that the university policies are flawed. But to use Nicholas Lim to prove that point is really making who the victim here - Monica or Nicholas? Haven't you gotten it yet? Nicholas is being used as a tool to prove a point, and Monica is using him to capitalize on her own publicity. This call for his blood has really got to stop. Monica should hang for this harassment. 

[Guest Guest]

5 hours ago, Guest Justice said:

Since victim wants justice to be served proper, respect her, she is the victim, not anyone of you here and anyone else. You will never understand how she feels deep inside her heart!

 

Conditional warning without a trial is so light of a sentence for someone who is of adulthood, sound, intellectual and an ex representative from an insurance company. Moreover, Nicholas's statement does not tally with the victim's. In this case, I rather believe in the victim but it takes more guts for her to speak up for herself to the mass than an apology from Nicholas.

 

Be mature and rational guys. It's disappointing to see that so many of you are actually siding with the offender just because of his looks or pitifulness. 

 

There are possibly two infringement of the law here. Monica is the victim of Nicholas's voyeurism. But Nicholas is the victim of manipulative Monica's harassment. While you want to focus on Nicholas' crime, don't forget that Monica herself may have infringed on the anti-harassment act herself.

 

Now, if you want to accuse us of "siding with the offender just because of his looks or pitifulness", where will you stand if Monica is shown to be guilty of harassment, and she don't even get suspended for even a single week from school? 

 

Are you taking the side of the party who shouted the loudest? Dua xia yia, izit? Or are you deliberately turning a blind eye to this second crime and taking her side because "the offender just because of HER looks or pitifulness"? 

 

Don't you get it yet? 

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Now, if you want to accuse us of "siding with the offender just because of his looks or pitifulness", where will you stand if Monica is shown to be guilty of harassment, and she don't even get suspended for even a single week from school? 

 

 

Maybe you are not completely siding with her because you are not seduced by her?

Imagine how well she must have looked nude under the shower,  with her flashy young boobs and young pussy that is so delicate that it got hurt by the lens of a camera...  

[Guest Try and see]

7 hours ago, Guest Justice said:

In this case, I rather believe in the victim but it takes more guts for her to speak up for herself to the mass than an apology from Nicholas.

 

In Monica's case, appearing in front of a camera is nothing new to her. I don't think it required any guts on her part. Based on the slutty way she was dressed for the interview, I'd say she was trying to seduce the male viewers instead.

 

Also, she has been quite active on her Instagram for many years prior to the incident, and what better way to gain more Instagram followers than to blow up the incident and play the victim while portraying Nicholas as the heartless criminal?

 

Lastly, remember that she is graduating soon. She will need to find a job but with a lousy degree like Communications and New Media, she can really only hope to be either a receptionist or a lounge hostess.

 

So what better way to make herself famous now and get the attention of media companies, and hopefully land a cushy, well-paying job? If she doesn't strike now, she will just be another face in the crowd that no one notices.

[Guest guilty]

7 hours ago, Guest Justice said:

Since victim wants justice to be served proper, respect her, she is the victim, not anyone of you here and anyone else. You will never understand how she feels deep inside her heart!

 

Conditional warning without a trial is so light of a sentence for someone who is of adulthood, sound, intellectual and an ex representative from an insurance company. Moreover, Nicholas's statement does not tally with the victim's. In this case, I rather believe in the victim but it takes more guts for her to speak up for herself to the mass than an apology from Nicholas.

 

Be mature and rational guys. It's disappointing to see that so many of you are actually siding with the offender just because of his looks or pitifulness. 

 

honestly honey, at this point i dont know what to say... not everything in this world is only black and white. not everything only has 2 sides. did you know you sounded a little naive?

[West93]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Maybe you are not completely siding with her because you are not seduced by her?

Imagine how well she must have looked nude under the shower,  with her flashy young boobs and young pussy that is so delicate that it got hurt by the lens of a camera...  

No offence if I wanted to see an airport runway I could have just gone to Changi Airport for that. 

[West93]

54 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

In Monica's case, appearing in front of a camera is nothing new to her. I don't think it required any guts on her part. Based on the slutty way she was dressed for the interview, I'd say she was trying to seduce the male viewers instead.

 

Also, she has been quite active on her Instagram for many years prior to the incident, and what better way to gain more Instagram followers than to blow up the incident and play the victim while portraying Nicholas as the heartless criminal?

 

Lastly, remember that she is graduating soon. She will need to find a job but with a lousy degree like Communications and New Media, she can really only hope to be either a receptionist or a lounge hostess.

 

So what better way to make herself famous now and get the attention of media companies, and hopefully land a cushy, well-paying job? If she doesn't strike now, she will just be another face in the crowd that no one notices.

 

Actually if she was hoping for media exposure that would help raise her employability, this would have absolutely backfired on her. Any company looking to hire her needs to seriously think twice. Someone like her who would have no hesitation to go public and harness social media outrage to back her up if she disagrees with any company policy or dispute handling is a PR loose cannon in waiting.

There's a reason why whistleblowing is anonymous. Stuff like this is toxic if your name gets pinned to pulling the trigger of it.

[Steve5380]

3 minutes ago, West93 said:

No offence if I wanted to see an airport runway I could have just gone to Changi Airport for that. 

 

An airport runway??  What is its relation to boobs and a pussy?

[West93]

Just now, Steve5380 said:

 

An airport runway??  What is its relation to boobs and a pussy?

 

... she's flat. 

[Steve5380]

Just now, West93 said:

 

... she's flat. 

 

Well... this is true.  Except that her boobs may not be completely flat

and only God knows how bulky her "camel toe" is   (Yuck)   

[Guest Guest]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Maybe you are not completely siding with her because you are not seduced by her?

Imagine how well she must have looked nude under the shower,  with her flashy young boobs and young pussy that is so delicate that it got hurt by the lens of a camera...  

 

The thought makes me puke. 

 

 

[Guest life's lessons]

what I can see on Nicholas Lim at the moment is the result of his counselling sessions. I attribute his very apologetic behaviour and most what he said on the interview on the counselling.

[Pubic01]

There’re more wounds/victims now: Monica, Nic’s dad, Nic’s mum, Nic himself. Should their identities be concealed, it would have made for a more efficient recovery process for all I believe.

 

Before one wound heals, someone deftly rode herd mentality to inflict more wounds (including a few innocent elderly folks)..  She’s a loser on that front. (This is the key reason why I switched camp.)(In a way, she 借刀杀人)

 

Whilst making her public stance, had she refrained from exposing identities, such current irreparable damages will not exist, and still effectively push forth her key concerns and raise her publicity if she so wishes. 

 

Her impulsiveness (her moment of “folly”) is no less damaging than Nic’s. These sort of damages are also irreversible. 

Edited April 28, 2019 by Pubic01

[Guest Justice]

Try being the victim(naked girl showering) and getting yourself filmed unwillingly and illegally by a pervert and see which mouth of you still can talk big about siding with the offender no matter how remorseful he is. 

[G_M]

 

[Pubic01]

5 minutes ago, Guest Justice said:

Try being the victim(naked girl showering) and getting yourself filmed unwillingly and illegally by a pervert and see which mouth of you still can talk big about siding with the offender no matter how remorseful he is. 

Guest Justice .. The key current problem here is impulsiveness. Both parties are driven by impulsiveness. Both deserve counselling. The current irreversible situations are outcomes of unbridled impulsiveness.

[Guest Try and see]

Initially I felt sorry for her.

 

Then when I saw her social media posts, I was taken aback that it was filled with vulgarities. Is that becoming of an NUS undergrad? Is her vocabulary so limited that every other word she uses must be the F word?

 

Also, she made no attempt to conceal Nic's identity. She uploaded his name, faculty, photo, and even his private apology letter to her. And all these after Nic and his girlfriend pleaded with her to let the matter rest.

 

That led to Nic being fired from his insurance agent job. 

 

I mean, Nic probably needed the job to supplement his dad's income as the dad is the breadwinner (a taxi driver). (Apologies for earlier assuming that Nic's parents are rich and powerful.)

And the fact that he was working rather than relaxing at home during his suspension demonstrates a good work ethic. 

 

Monica on the other hand spends her undergrad days clubbing and partying, and driving her own car around. She even dedicated an Instagram post to bid farewell to her car when it had to be scrapped. How many uni undegrads have that kind of luxury?

 

All these factors made me reconsider my sympathy for Monica. 

 

She is clearly milking the situation to gain more Instagram followers, and boost her public profile, perfectly timing it with her impending graduation and need to find a job.

[Ben Ben Ben]

Nicholas don’t play play with A bitch and a slut 

 

please turn over a new leaf 

[Guest Try and see]

3 hours ago, West93 said:

 

Actually if she was hoping for media exposure that would help raise her employability, this would have absolutely backfired on her. Any company looking to hire her needs to seriously think twice. Someone like her who would have no hesitation to go public and harness social media outrage to back her up if she disagrees with any company policy or dispute handling is a PR loose cannon in waiting.

 

Well-said!

 

She thinks she's having a ball now, but her deeds will haunt her next time. No employer will dare to hire such a vengeful person.

 

E.g. If her future boss doesn't give her a pay rise, or doesn't give her something that she believes she is entitled to, she will post his name and picture on her Instagram, and put "F___ you!" in bold pink words across the photo. 

[Guest Try and see]

3 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

An airport runway??  What is its relation to boobs and a pussy?

 

"Airport runway" is a colloquial term used by S'poreans to refer to a flat-chested girl. 

 

Probably in America they use other terms?

[Guest Guest]

6 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

"Airport runway" is a colloquial term used by S'poreans to refer to a flat-chested girl. 

 

Fann Wong and Stefanie Sun come to mind.

[hbst]

1 hour ago, G_M said:

 

 

 

Somebody is not happy with us. LOL

[Guest Justdont]

1 hour ago, Guest Justice said:

Try being the victim(naked girl showering) and getting yourself filmed unwillingly and illegally by a pervert and see which mouth of you still can talk big about siding with the offender no matter how remorseful he is. 

 

you simply a lot of excuses sia. anyway the old saying goes.... two wrongs make a right. you kill my father doesnt make me pour acid on your face right. you know what forget it. your skull too thick. this math too complicated ya?

[Guest expose]

1 hour ago, G_M said:

 

 

wait why is he visiting a gay forum? is he one of us?

[Guest expose]

6 minutes ago, Guest expose said:

 

wait why is he visiting a gay forum? is he one of us?

 

anyway to add on, i think it can be considered as hate speech? especially all the comments underneath it.

[Guest Guest]

9 minutes ago, Guest expose said:

 

wait why is he visiting a gay forum? is he one of us?

 

Wahahahahaa so funny!

 

After guest 'disclosed yourself' was outed as a disruptor of the main forum and ordered to leave the main forum, now DY posting under other nicks has been called out by the larger online community for displaying toxic masculinity and victim-blaming tendencies... replete with screenshot evidence!

 

Wahahhaahahahahaha

[Guest disclosed myself]

4 hours ago, West93 said:

 

Actually if she was hoping for media exposure that would help raise her employability, this would have absolutely backfired on her. Any company looking to hire her needs to seriously think twice. Someone like her who would have no hesitation to go public and harness social media outrage to back her up if she disagrees with any company policy or dispute handling is a PR loose cannon in waiting.

There's a reason why whistleblowing is anonymous. Stuff like this is toxic if your name gets pinned to pulling the trigger of it.

 

PR loose cannon. LOL

[lovehandle]

5 hours ago, hbst said:

 

 

Somebody is not happy with us. LOL

no1 is born to earn the love of anyone

It is fine 

but he has the time to come BW to screen shot every critical points out of our 6pg long discussion?

Did u notice that all the pages/names that he screenshot?

I m glad that a lady spk the truth, Dorothy:
think hardwarezone is worse

 

 

He must have an enjoyable time reading our other topics too
he has his ulterior motive ie to vote them out

 

[Guest Guest]

MW Ang disclosed the toxic posts by guest 'disclosed yourself' (posting under other nicks):

 

 

 

 

Guest 'disclosed yourself' is now a disgrace BEYOND the gay community.

LOLOL

[Guest Guest 2]

Hahahahahahahahaha

[Guest speechless]

 

and this thread ended up in flaming room..... ridiculously childish bitching honestly....

[Guest life's lessons]

THESE ARE ALL THE POSTS FROM BLOWING WIND WHICH WERE SCREENSHOTED BY THIS FACEBOOK MEMBER NAMED MW ANG STUDENT FOR COMMUNICATION STUDIES AT NTU  and marked as txic masculinity and victim blaming at the gay comminity. WW ANG who calls himself aspiring philosopher, social and political theorist.

 

On 4/26/2019 at 12:38 PM, hbst said:

 

I want to give Nicholas a hug. It takes a lot of courage for him to come out to confess and apologize in front of the media. Let's hope that he has learnt a lesson and will not re-offend again. And everyone (including Monica) should move on and not waste time dwelling over this.

 

Btw thanks to Guest Sauce for sharing this article... I couldn't read it on Straits TImes website because it's a premium article, so I'm happy to see this article here.

 

On 4/26/2019 at 12:58 PM, Guest Try and see said:

 

Very well-said!  

 

I also felt very sorry for Nic when I read his interview report. 

I don't condone what he did, but I don't think he should have his future ruined because of a one-time childish and immature act. 

 

After all, his dad is the breadwinner, and he is their only son (not sure if he has any sisters). 

 

Monica's the one who's living a very comfortable and privileged lifestyle - even drives her own car all throughout her uni days. 

 

Hope this incident reveals to her bf and close friends just how spiteful and vicious she can be if people offend her.

 

On 4/26/2019 at 1:04 PM, Guest Try and see said:

She's 23 but somehow looks like an auntie in her 40s.

 

Must be all the clubbing and late nights.

 

 

On 4/26/2019 at 4:57 PM, Guest life's lessons said:

 

yep- thanks for sharing the article here. would be good to read her side of the story.

I only found he sounded a bit too submissive. But laudable to come out and set some things right. After all I think it was required because only Monica B was out to talk about the topic.

 

Actually, after all his attempts to apologise to her at the initial stage, I don't understand why she had to go on with her harshness against him.

It doesn't seem true that Monica B only found out from the CCTV that it was him but she knew from the first day.

If you look at her story, the allowed it to be set with wrong facts.

Is it a bit this "I don't accept this because it happened to me, I deserve a better punishment" reaction?

 

And I find her fears of going alone to the female shower room as a play. She knew the culprit at early stage and why was there reason to fear more and having fears and trauma in taking a shower. (but maybe I need to be a girl to understand this).

 

I still think after all it is the jealousy towards him being in a relationship (either with her previous best girl friend or because her girl friend chose to take him).

 

I said it before: The "second issue and you are out " rule should not be changed for educational institutions.

He sounds to me exactly fitting into the context of doing some folly out of nothing.

And for such "predators" the university should give a second chance.

Don't kill lives at such young stages.

 

Monica B has been going over board with her reaction and shaming him by name and personal details.

I would appreciate if the university would set this right and give here some warning too. With that publication of him on social media she stopped being a mere victim of a peeping tom but acted in damaging his personal life and career. Such should be stopped and giving warning to refrain future victims to go on social media.

(That is why I conclude that there is this sort of "revenge" feeling against him which comes from a jealousy towards him and his girlfriend.)

And I don't think that any psychological assistance, if the university would have attended to her, would have stopped her to drive her revenge play against him.

She is run by her unforgiving character.

 

 

 

 

On 4/26/2019 at 5:51 PM, Guest 老干妈油泼辣子 said:

Got bf doesn’t mean she is straight, bf can also be a beard, or maybe they are beards for each other. She studied in CHIJ and Catholic High. Probably a closeted lesbian Catholic girl yeah, that’s why became so angsty towards lusty men like Nic.

 

I am pretty sure she is a total lesbo. *roll eyes*

 

I chop my head if she isn’t. Lol

 

 

On 4/26/2019 at 9:37 PM, Steve5380 said:

 

 

To this cynic bad-mouthed "Guest Rofl":  It is regrettable that you post your ugly thoughts here.  You sound homophobic.

To attempt to film this female does not make the guy a "pervert".  A pervert is one who molests little girls.  Your judgment is screwed up.

 

I take sides with Nicholas Lim. I am not an idiotic gay, I am not into voyeurism nor do I care for his meat.  Instead I have the maturity to realize that perfectly good people make stupid mistakes, especially at the young age of 23 (but not limited to the young), and leniency is the way to handle them.  Some think that leniency is "to spoil", and instead have no problems ruining lives forever.

 

It would be interesting to know what stupid things you have done, because it is obvious that your life has been ruined, probably by some over-zealous disciplinarian.  Were you caned by your parents as a kid? 

 

To "Guest Gays":  find yourself a better guide, or you may end up as ugly as he is. 

.

 

On 4/27/2019 at 5:30 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

I think you are a teaser.  No one should take seriously what you say.

You can keep posting idiocies and making a fool of yourself, if this is what you like.  

 

On 4/27/2019 at 6:01 AM, West93 said:

This horse has been whipped next to death and people are still going on about it?! 

 

Zero sympathy for Monica here. You either die a hero or see yourself turn into a villain. She failed to disclose any reason given by her IO for why no further action was pursued under the law, she was the one who fanned the now proven false news that Nicholas was somehow connected and rich hence he could expect leniency from the law, she framed the issue as the police somehow telling her that she could turn to the university for further redress and implied that the police could only take further prosecution action if she managed to pressure the university to increase its punishment of Nicholas and make a bigger deal of things. 

 

All the framing of the whole saga in terms of agitating for systemic change is just convenient cover. At the bottom of it all was revenge pure and simple. Maybe Nicholas deserved revenge taken on him on her part. But I can't find it in myself to respect a girl who has no intentions of being honest about her true motivations, and had studiously kept silent during the entire witch hunt that took on a life of its own against the guy, and also failed to apologise and clarify her false hearsay claims of him being rich and connected as slanderous talk. 

 

He's no Saint. But she's no true feminist or SJW either. NUS disciplinary rules have been that way for ages. If she was half as self righteous as she made herself to be in the whole saga why bother to raise the issue of perceived laissez-faire punishment of disciplinary offences such as indecency and voyeurism adds on campus only when she got affected herself? 

 

Once again, no sympathy for her. Nobody comes out of this looking good. Not her. Not him. Not the police who belatedly came to clear the air about lawful precedence and benchmarking in how they decide what to prosecute. Not NUS who failed utterly in damage control and allowed lax disciplinary rules to fester and persist for so long until something like this blew up in their faces. And looking at the online behaviour of the local lynch mob as well as all the false accusations and speculations flying around about the guy, I've lost all possible sympathy towards opposition of the arguably necessarily draconian fake news and doxxing laws in SG. We've shown as a society we don't deserve our media freedom nor freedom of speech online if we're so irresponsible with it. 

 

On 4/27/2019 at 3:18 PM, Guest victim said:

I hate women who pretend to be a victim to gain sympathy. very good at pretending. full of cunning plan. Say one thing but do another thing. doesn't mean it for every word they churn out.
And I think it's time for me to show off my acting skills again to counter-attack back at them, otherwise, if keep on being silent, I really cannot breathe and mind is getting heavy and heavy each time go back from work time. I really need to learn from Yanxi Palace. There is nothing wrong to be like Wei Yingluo in order to for her to survive in the palace and for me to survive in the workplace. I need to be more cunning than them in order to survive. I always think that ppl will defence me or speak out for my behalf. I was wrong. I need to rewatch Yanxi to get the motivation and strike back at them.

 

[Guest life's lessons]

YAHOO NEWS/Coconuts Singapore
28 April 2019, 6:15 pm GMT+8

 

Never before has a case of sexual misconduct gripped Singapore like the Monica Baey case, when netizens erupted after finding out that perv Nicholas Lim got away with little punishment when he filmed her showering in the campus shower at the National University of Singapore (NUS).

After the case got leaked and Monica’s mother spoke out, the country’s education minister himself had to step in to say that NUS’ “two-strikes and you are out” punishment for sexual misconduct perpetrators was “manifestly inadequate”.

The incident has also drawn plenty of debate on social media, as netizens roundly criticized the university for not doing enough to protect students from being future victims of sexual misconduct and harassment.

Strangely though, the debate seems to have taken a misogynistic turn as some netizens are instead choosing to blame the victim and instead support the perpetrator Nicholas Lim who has since been mobbed online over the incident.

Some of these comments came out in a Singapore gay forum called Blowing Wind and were captured by Facebook user MW Ang, who uploaded these comments onto his Facebook page on Saturday.

“The level of hatred and discomfort that these gay men feel against women who dare to speak up is directly evident from their words,” said Ang, who alluded to misogyny and toxic masculinity being a “serious problem in Singapore”.

“I think it’s easy for the social environment within the gay community to sometimes incubate these tendencies to problematic conceptions of masculinity,” elaborated Ang.

One particular comment on the forum written by a guest whose pseudonym is ‘Try and See’ said that he “felt very sorry” for Nicholas and that he doesn’t think the perv should have his future ruined “because of a one-time immature and childish act”.

“Monica’s the one living a very comfortable and privileged lifestyle,” said the commenter. “Hope this incident reveals to her boyfriend and close friends just how spiteful and vicious she can be if people offend her.”

The misogyny continued with another commenter who goes by the pseudonym ‘Life’s Lessons’ who accused Monica of playing up her fear of being exposed in the shower because of alleged jealousy towards Nicholas’ relationship with his girlfriend.

“With that publication of him on social media, she stopped being a mere victim of a Peeping Tom but acted in damaging his personal life and career,” the commenter said.

The dense attitudes of these commenters did not go unnoticed on Ang’s Facebook post, as other netizens chimed in calling out these commenters for siding with the perpetrator.

Facebook user Nicholas Goh alluded the comments to a possible “lack of moral guideline benchmark and hence each (person has) their own interpretation of what is good or bad”.

Another user Mason Lim said that it is a by-product of common opinions being reinforced in a closed social circle. “Many people still prefer to reinforce their personal worldviews rather than subject it to (healthy) change,” he said.

The contradictory nature of such comments has not stopped over 300 students from signing an open letter to NUS president Professor Tan Eng Chye alleging a “lack of accountability on the part of the administration, and transparency regarding the review process” during a town hall on the matter.

The town hall was pushed by NUS students who wanted the school to have more accountability over the matter and to address student concerns before the semester ended in May.

 

[Alponsu]

Amidst sexual misconduct furore, one forum gives Nicholas Lim support while Monica Baey is maligned

 

The recent case of sexual misconduct where a student from NUS, Monica Baey, took to Instagram to air her dissatisfaction with the punishment meted out to Nicholas Lim, who had filmed her while she was showering, has garnered a lot of sympathy for Ms Baey, as well as caused the University to re-examine its policies regarding such cases.

 

Mr Lim has accepted culpability in the matter, and adopted a contrite attitude in an interview with The Straits Times.

However, not everyone has been supportive of Ms Baey, and some have even taken to vilifying her, even as they’ve expressed support for the perpetrator in her case, Nicholas Lim.

 

Netizen MW Ang, whose Facebook biography identifies him as a student from Nanyang Technological University (NTU), posted a compilation of screenshots on Saturday, April 27, which showed a long thread from a Singaporean gay men’s forum where many people commented that they openly sympathized with Mr Lim, and also hurled accusations at Ms Baey.

 

Mr Ang wrote, “I have curated a series of screenshots from just ONE page of a (at the time of posting) five-page long thread on a Singapore gay men’s forum about the NUS sexual crime incident involving offender Nicholas L. The level of hatred and discomfort that these gay men feel against women who dare to speak up is directly evident from their words.”

 

http://theindependent.sg/amidst-sexual-misconduct-furore-one-forum-gives-nicholas-lim-support-while-monica-baey-is-maligned/

 

[Alponsu]

This MW Ang's post is getting around.

Edited April 29, 2019 by Alponsu

[Pubic01]

52 minutes ago, Alponsu said:

This MW Ang's post is getting around.

 

https://m.facebook.com/nuswhispers/posts/2592681980802247

 

There are also other voices that are more balanced. Discerning folks around la.

 

(I for one cannot tahan the prevalent “white-knights” .. goose bumps .. lol)

[Guest life's lessons]

What had been easier then to use a chance for gay bashing.

 

From Monica B , now it is the turn to direct the discussion to blame gays for having an open discussion.

 

Yes, I found some posts were crossing a line at times.

 

But to paint us now as women haters where we only pointed out the wrongful act by Monica B to reveal the name of the peeping tom, which even many lawyers at different newspapers had been stating that it might even have broken the law and that Nicholas Lim probably has a criminal case against Monica B.

 

 

All in all I would have expected a post from Blowing Wind as to what reason the thread was moved to the Flaming Room?

Because one Communications student at one technical university posted some screenshots from the discussions at Blowing Wind and framing the posting gay guys as having a toxic masculinity and bearing misogyny? Please Blowing Wind... Are you serious? Because of this?

 

Ok, maybe you (MW Ang and other straight people) learnt that we aren't all those soft spoken little hideous discreet boys but we gays have an opinion too.

 

And my post was not read carefully. I even wrote to that section, that I maybe do not understand Monica Baey because I m not a woman and maybe only a woman would understand.

"(but maybe I need to be a girl to understand this). "

 

And I am very sure that many discussion forums at other online places are probably reflecting similar discussions and posts.

 

Maybe MW Ang wasn't happy that we had this opinion on the Peeping Tom issue, but was there a need to single us out?

Where are his posts of the straight guys who even talk worse on this whole matter at other internet places?

 

Actually, I am sensing that MW Ang was one particular Guest poster at this thread and he was just unhappy that nobody supported his posts.

Just go back to the start, read through and you will find out...

 

And now I am a chauvinistic toxic misogynist GAY? 

I haven't been laughing so good for long...

[Guest life's lessons]

theindependent.sg

Amidst sexual misconduct furore, one forum gives Nicholas Lim support while Monica Baey is maligned

In a forum entitled Nicholas Lim Scandal Saga on the website BlowingWind, Ms Baey is perceived as the villain in the situation, while Mr Lim is presented in a positive light.

By

Anna Maria Romero

-

April 29, 2019

 

Singapore—The recent case of sexual misconduct where a student from NUS, Monica Baey, took to Instagram to air her dissatisfaction with the punishment meted out to Nicholas Lim, who had filmed her while she was showering, has garnered a lot of sympathy for Ms Baey, as well as caused the University to re-examine its policies regarding such cases.

Mr Lim has accepted culpability in the matter, and adopted a contrite attitude in an interview with The Straits Times.

However, not everyone has been supportive of Ms Baey, and some have even taken to vilifying her, even as they’ve expressed support for the perpetrator in her case, Nicholas Lim.

 

Netizen MW Ang, whose Facebook biography identifies him as a student from Nanyang Technological University (NTU), posted a compilation of screenshots on Saturday, April 27, which showed a long thread from a Singaporean gay men’s forum where many people commented that they openly sympathized with Mr Lim, and also hurled accusations at Ms Baey.

 

 

Let's face it: misogyny & toxic masculinity is a serious problem in Singapore. And if we think that gay people are…

Posted by MW Ang on Saturday, 27 April 2019

Mr Ang wrote, “I have curated a series of screenshots from just ONE page of a (at the time of posting) five-page long thread on a Singapore gay men’s forum about the NUS sexual crime incident involving offender Nicholas L. The level of hatred and discomfort that these gay men feel against women who dare to speak up is directly evident from their words.”

 

In a forum entitled Nicholas Lim Scandal Saga (compiled) on the website BlowingWind, Ms Baey is perceived as the villain in the situation, while Mr Lim is presented in a positive light.

The original post illustrates how ‘cute’ Mr Lim is. “In SG we have Nicholas Lim scandal. Everyone has been talking about the issues. One wrong step can really ruin one life forever. I find him very cute. With his look, he can get as many girls as he wanted or even boys.”

Unlike Ms Baey and many other NUS students, commenters on the thread felt that Mr Lim had received sufficient punishment. One wrote, “I think that the warning, his one semester suspension and his public humiliation are sufficient punishment for the guy. He surely will think twice before filming people showering.  And Monica the ‘victim”\’,  what was her suffering?  Was the film of her exposed in public, on the internet?”

Throughout the thread, Mr Lim’s looks got more attention than his offence. One wrote, “Nicholas Lim is handsome and cute. So all should be forgiven.”

“Looks damn cute. Not sure how tall he is but his forearms look very muscular.  Some more he got that very decent look,” was another comment. 

Yet another person posted about “Nicholas’ cute face and hot naval diver body.” 

 

Others took a hostile attitude toward Ms Baey. One comment said, “Either you accept an apology and let go or you don’t accept and let the matter drag on but once a letter of apology was issued and accepted, then let the matter rest. Just wonder who is the real victim now?”

Another comment belittled her experience as a victim. “Somehow this Monica needs to get her yardstick of victimisation reset to a realistic value. 300 innocent people may never get ANY justice for their loss of life, every day hundreds of women don’t get ANY justice for serious crimes committed against them. While this pretentious female is asking for more “justice” because an immature boy tried to film her taking a shower ???”

However one person, a Senior Member going by the name of Diamond, showed support for Ms Baey.  “applause her for guts…. My reason is : To show hidden victim the confidence to set up right from wrong. let the public moral, parents and educator to stop sweeping underneath the carpet for issue.” (sic)

But he was a lone voice. Another comment actually suggested that NUS issue a warning to Ms Baey as well. “That Monica taking revenge on him should receive a warning from the university too. She needs to learn her lesson now. Lim might have done some wrong but what Monica is doing seems not proportionate to what happened.”

Others wrote that she didn’t act like a ‘victim,’ “She does not show confidence, but an ugly abuse, (sic) taking advantage of her status as ‘victim’”. 

Guest life’s lessons wrote, “the girl went overboard. And what she missed is that justice is not to serve to her satisfaction.”

 

SuperMember Steve5380 wrote, “Pity her? even if in the beginning she could be seen as the ‘victim’ of a very petty thing,  her actions transformed her from victim into victimizer.  Hopefully her school recognizes this. Underneath her sweet looks lies something ugly.  She appears spoiled, pretentious.  Who knows if this is her essence or if she had some motives to seek revenge on the guy. Not a good (sic) material to have in the workplace, and even less, in a family.  This episode should be a warning for any naive straight guy who is attracted to her for her pretty face, without realizing that she could turn into a poisonous insect.”

Throughout the thread Ms Baey is called “a spoilt little girl in a candy store”, “relentless and unforgiving who wants nothing more than total annihilation”, “the kind of bitchy brat that give millennials a very bad name.”

She was also accused of “taking delight in torturing and punishing Nic.”

On Facebook, Mr Ang explains the vitriol towards Ms Baey this way. “Let’s face it: misogyny & toxic masculinity is a serious problem in Singapore. And if we think that gay people are automatically all perfect role models who will fight for the rights of others, then we need to think again.

This problem arises when intersectionality is ignored, and the power disparities relating to sexuality is falsely presented as separable from the systems that keep women, poor people, ethnic minorities and other groups disempowered and voiceless.”/ TISG

[Guest life's lessons]

NUSWhispers

I'm a woman and I feel sorry for the Nicholas guy in the Monica Baey saga. Don't get me wrong - I'm not affiliated with Nicholas in anyway, nor do I think what Monica did was wrong or attention seeking or all those things the (horrible) (male) commenters are saying (everytime I read these kind of comments I feel sick). I just think that the perpetrator's current fate - having his face plastered all over the Internet with his army details and IC details and job details, even his (innocent?) girlfriend's face open for everyone to see - is a fate much much worse than if he had suspended longer, expelled, or even sentenced to jail for the what the 1 week that offenders usually seem to get. The system might be too lax for offenders, and that is something that the new Penal Code is already changing and NUS should also work towards, but his current situation is more akin to a public stoning. What more of his girlfriend, his family and his friends' who didn't do anything and now can no longer show their faces in public. The purpose of a jail term, or other sanctions, is to appropriately punish the offender, but then also to rehabilitate him and for him to change and move on with his life. If he doesn't change, then the system (is supposed to) punish him again.

I blame NUS and the police force for this. If they had just handled the situation properly in the first place, it would not be such a fiasco as it stands now. If a 1 term suspension and a warning is the standard precedent for such first time offenders, they should have at least communicated this to Monica and the school, or have the guidelines and disciplinary committee procedure online for everyone to read. Taking Monica's word for it, they did not bother to involve the victim in the process at all or care about her welfare. And they should have provided avenues for Monica and other members of the community to feedback if anyone felt measures were not sufficiently taken, instead of forcing her to engage in this witch hunt just to get any answers at all. Nicholas committed an offence, a crime even - but ultimately his lame apology letter and one semester suspension was just what the school asked him to do, and the lack of police prosecution. He is being crucified not just for his crime, but for the problems of the entire system.

The heart of the problem is NUS's - and perhaps Singapore's - culture of paternalism and arrogance. The authority always knows best, there is no transparency or opportunity for feedback or change, so much so that they don't bother about keeping the victim informed of what is happening - one email only?? How is that right - - or give the victim and the school community options to feedback for change. Its about keeping everything under wraps, saving face, and not telling anyone anything because students are stupid and don't know any better than school admin. And this is evidenced by their first statement about this matter "we will convene a committee and get back to you next academic year"? There's not even an attempt to bother to address the public's concern. I'm willing to give NUS the benefit of the doubt that some investigation and disciplinary procedures are in place and were carried out, even if they may not be ideal. If they had just come out to share this, then the next issue is moving to improve these systems, rather than the state and flak they're receiving now.

Serves NUS right that it all is blowing up in their face. Pity for Nicholas that he is nothing more than a scapegoat for the system's incompetence.