Being used as a rebound (vent)

[PBoi]

A very vague relationship of mine ended two months ago, and I thought I was over it. But I'm not, so I'm letting it out here. 

 

I first met him slightly over a year ago. We took the same class and we made super awkward eye contact after class. It was pretty long. I just ignored it because I was the type who preferred to spend eternity in solitude and wasn't really looking to date anyone. But a few weeks later he followed me on Instagram. I looked at his profile and found out that he has a boyfriend. That deterred me even more from making any "moves". We still didn't talk in real life, and when he messaged me on Instagram I would give one-worded replies that killed the conversation instantly. This carried on for a few months.

 

A few months later we were grouped in the same group for a project. We talked a little bit more in real life because we had to, for the project. So I guess we became better acquaintances(?). During this time he also started to keep asking me to have lunch with him. And I would always reject with reasons like I'm busy, or I've already packed my own lunch. (Again, because I'm reclusive af and also remembering that he has a boyfriend). One day I heard that he had just broken up with his boyfriend recently (apparently his boyfriend had cheated on him multiple times). A few days later he asked me out to watch a movie. At this point it was clear to me that he was interested in me, but he seemed a little desperate which creeped me. So I gave excuses not to go. But he was persistent and kept asking me to watch a movie with him. 

He kept flirting with me and after a few weeks I just sort of gave in (he was quite cute). I thought, heck, just give it a try. We went on our first date at the movies. We didn't really talk much. But during the movie his stomach growled because he was hungry. I looked over to him and we made eye contact and he blushed because he was embarrassed, which was kind of cute. After that date we texted everyday, and skyped regularly at night. He displayed tons of romantic gestures like random gifts, holding my hands while crossing the road in public, pecking me on my cheek before leaving, picking me up after class and walking me home even though he lived super far away etc. (this happened by the second week)  Our relationship progressed super fast, but not to the point where we'd (or he'd) call us boyfriends. 

After about 3 weeks he asked me to go to JB with him and stay overnight. It felt a little strange, but I went along with it. It was nice. We had several intimate conversations in the middle of the night as we snacked on granola. We also had sex. I let him top me but it didn't go very well because I was super inexperienced. LOL. But it was still enjoyable. 

Three months in, our "relationship" seemed pretty stabilized. And I was sure that I loved him and I was ready to commit. But I asked him about our relationship status and he said we were exclusive but not official. I didn't mind because maybe he needed a little more time to heal from his previous relationship. But then he suddenly became distant. 

He started replying later to my texts (taking the whole day, even though he's on his phone most of the time), and we met up less and less (from at least 3 times a week to not seeing each other the whole week even though we went to the same school and our class rooms are in the same block). He told me that he was just emotionally drained and needed some time alone to settle himself. I asked him from what and he didn't tell me. Then he started ignoring me all together. I gave him a call one night to ask why he's been avoiding me. And he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I asked him what did he want me to do. He said focus on something else and don't wait for him. So I guess that was a break up? (Can you even call it a break up if it was not even an official relationship? haha)

Yeah so I cried. A LOT. And then a week later, I saw him and his ex holding hands. And I just died.

 

I tried texting him to meet and ask for closure, but he hasn't replied to any of my texts since we "broke up". So I gave up on the idea of seeking closure.

 

For a while I was a ghost floating around in limbo and kept stalking him and his boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-boyfriend's social media 24/7. Then a few weeks later on instagram I saw a photo of them in JB. In the same hotel that we stayed together in. And I realized that I was just a substitute. Because everything that he did with me, he liked to do with his ex/current boyfriend.

 

I tried to forget about him and get over it. Deleted all his photos. Got rid of all his gifts. Blocked him on social media. Pretend he died. For two months it worked. But then yesterday night I had a banana and couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking about him. How much I loved him. 

 

Maybe I was not persistent enough in trying to get him back. His ex harassed him under his void deck and at his workplace to ask for forgiveness. And it worked. Maybe I should do the same. Nah. 





 

[Renault]

He is not worth your time and effort. Forget him, move on and never look back.

[zyjd]

I second @Renault. I know it's much easier said than done but you really do need to find something to focus on to get your thoughts away from him. It's not going to be easy because you attend the same school and would probably have some classes together, but practicing non-visualization/selective-vision while reminding yourself of your own worth, might help.

 

33 minutes ago, PBoi said:

Maybe I was not persistent enough in trying to get him back. His ex harassed him under his void deck and at his workplace to ask for forgiveness. And it worked. Maybe I should do the same. Nah. 

You're right that you shouldn't. Don't even entertain thoughts of doing so because it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong to have to ask for forgiveness. You are better than this.

 

Know that you can and you will get over this. I hope the best for you.

 

Stay strong, dude.

 

/hugs

[Steve5380]

Be courageous and don't let your pain destroy you.    In my outsider opinion you were not responsible at all for the episode and how it ended.  As your pain subsides, as it will, start to appreciate the episode for its educative value.  We often have to pay for our experiences.  Also feel glad that you got rid of the individual, who only did limited damage to you, damage that will vanish and leave behind a valuable experience.

[rafael_nadal]

I third @Renault. Your head say no but your heart say yes. Matters of the heart are way complicated to comprehend.  At least you vent your frustration here. Let it all out. Cry it out. Sometimes it doesn't feel better. Sometimes it does. But you know deep inside you, he's not worth it. He stoop too low & hit you below the belt. A real coward.  You'll find somebody better & you got to trust yourself. It will take time to forget him but time heals all wound. Don't succumb to temptations.  We're here to support you from this scumbag. It's not going to be easy. Life is never fair. So live life to the fullest & just make yourself happy.  Nobody owes you a living. You owe yourself. Cheer up & never look back ya. All the best from someone who has been in the same boat once. 

[max001]

dont even waste ur time on such person... let it out and cry all u want then tell urself its not worth ur time n effort!! Move on as there are better and more worthy guy out there for u!

[Ironrod]

Sorry for being the bad guy here. I think u lost to the ex in bed. The ex probably gave him better fuck then u. Whores usually have better bed skills as they are trained with different masters, thus they do have an advantage with men.

 

If u haven't realized it all went downhill after that KL trip. The lesson here is to make sure u are better in bed so no whores can ever snatch your bf away.

 

 

 

[GachiMuchi]

4 hours ago, PBoi said:

A very vague relationship of mine ended two months ago, and I thought I was over it. But I'm not, so I'm letting it out here. 

 

I first met him slightly over a year ago. We took the same class and we made super awkward eye contact after class. It was pretty long. I just ignored it because I was the type who preferred to spend eternity in solitude and wasn't really looking to date anyone. But a few weeks later he followed me on Instagram. I looked at his profile and found out that he has a boyfriend. That deterred me even more from making any "moves". We still didn't talk in real life, and when he messaged me on Instagram I would give one-worded replies that killed the conversation instantly. This carried on for a few months.

 

A few months later we were grouped in the same group for a project. We talked a little bit more in real life because we had to, for the project. So I guess we became better acquaintances(?). During this time he also started to keep asking me to have lunch with him. And I would always reject with reasons like I'm busy, or I've already packed my own lunch. (Again, because I'm reclusive af and also remembering that he has a boyfriend). One day I heard that he had just broken up with his boyfriend recently (apparently his boyfriend had cheated on him multiple times). A few days later he asked me out to watch a movie. At this point it was clear to me that he was interested in me, but he seemed a little desperate which creeped me. So I gave excuses not to go. But he was persistent and kept asking me to watch a movie with him. 

He kept flirting with me and after a few weeks I just sort of gave in (he was quite cute). I thought, heck, just give it a try. We went on our first date at the movies. We didn't really talk much. But during the movie his stomach growled because he was hungry. I looked over to him and we made eye contact and he blushed because he was embarrassed, which was kind of cute. After that date we texted everyday, and skyped regularly at night. He displayed tons of romantic gestures like random gifts, holding my hands while crossing the road in public, pecking me on my cheek before leaving, picking me up after class and walking me home even though he lived super far away etc. (this happened by the second week)  Our relationship progressed super fast, but not to the point where we'd (or he'd) call us boyfriends. 

After about 3 weeks he asked me to go to JB with him and stay overnight. It felt a little strange, but I went along with it. It was nice. We had several intimate conversations in the middle of the night as we snacked on granola. We also had sex. I let him top me but it didn't go very well because I was super inexperienced. LOL. But it was still enjoyable. 

Three months in, our "relationship" seemed pretty stabilized. And I was sure that I loved him and I was ready to commit. But I asked him about our relationship status and he said we were exclusive but not official. I didn't mind because maybe he needed a little more time to heal from his previous relationship. But then he suddenly became distant. 

He started replying later to my texts (taking the whole day, even though he's on his phone most of the time), and we met up less and less (from at least 3 times a week to not seeing each other the whole week even though we went to the same school and our class rooms are in the same block). He told me that he was just emotionally drained and needed some time alone to settle himself. I asked him from what and he didn't tell me. Then he started ignoring me all together. I gave him a call one night to ask why he's been avoiding me. And he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I asked him what did he want me to do. He said focus on something else and don't wait for him. So I guess that was a break up? (Can you even call it a break up if it was not even an official relationship? haha)

Yeah so I cried. A LOT. And then a week later, I saw him and his ex holding hands. And I just died.

 

I tried texting him to meet and ask for closure, but he hasn't replied to any of my texts since we "broke up". So I gave up on the idea of seeking closure.

 

For a while I was a ghost floating around in limbo and kept stalking him and his boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-boyfriend's social media 24/7. Then a few weeks later on instagram I saw a photo of them in JB. In the same hotel that we stayed together in. And I realized that I was just a substitute. Because everything that he did with me, he liked to do with his ex/current boyfriend.

 

I tried to forget about him and get over it. Deleted all his photos. Got rid of all his gifts. Blocked him on social media. Pretend he died. For two months it worked. But then yesterday night I had a banana and couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking about him. How much I loved him. 

 

Maybe I was not persistent enough in trying to get him back. His ex harassed him under his void deck and at his workplace to ask for forgiveness. And it worked. Maybe I should do the same. Nah. 
 

 

Real life is cruel. You can control your actions, thoughts but you cannot control your emotions.

Do you think closure will help you move on? I doubt so.

Honestly speaking, you should treat yourself better even if the person whom you like don't treat you better. 

It hurts, but you should learn from the episode and grow to be emotionally stronger. What don't kills you, makes you stronger. So be stronger.

Show him that without him, you can have someone better than him who appreciates you and treat you nice. 

Why hover over people who don't treat you well and dwell on the pass which incapacitates you?

You deserves better, so go find someone who deserves you and stop dwelling in your own self pity like a beaten little animal.

Puck up and get your game in action. Assholes like him don't deserve you. 

 

[Guest Guest]

4 hours ago, Ironrod said:

Sorry for being the bad guy here. I think u lost to the ex in bed. The ex probably gave him better fuck then u. Whores usually have better bed skills as they are trained with different masters, thus they do have an advantage with men.

 

If u haven't realized it all went downhill after that KL trip. The lesson here is to make sure u are better in bed so no whores can ever snatch your bf away.

 

 

 

 

LOL

[fab]

Forgive and forget.

[ShyCuriousBoy95]

-

Edited January 10, 2022 by ShyCuriousBoy95

[mate69]

Best not to get into a relationship so hastily. It can destroy and totally scar you if you are not careful and do not protect yourself.

Best to be independent and not rely on anyone for anything but yourself in life.

 

[Beefycub]

it's possible that u were just one of his many 'acquaintances' when he was not attached. he does need to get his fucks from somewhere.
must be tuff for ya, especially when u are the aloof types at first, so when u fall, u fall hard.

we all learn along the way. life goes on and focus on other stuff to keep busy.

[blowmenow]

19 minutes ago, ShyCuriousBoy95 said:

Wow. This is really heartfelt, concise and well written. I have been through a similar situation. It can feel like your whole world is wrecked. I took almost 2 years to recover. My advice in short.

 

1. First loves are always the most difficult to put down. 

2. Time will heal. I don't advise you to forgive and forget at this point. Take the hatred as an energy to do the things you want in life.

3. You write so well, I'm sure you have your share of suitors so while the right one comes along, it's best to take this time to reach your mental and physical peak.

4. Learn from this. Block them from Instagram and don't let him control your life and emotions. Be a better person for the next sweet guy you meet.

 

Thanks.

Its very true that the first love is the most difficult to get over with. i think we all had that experience.

Time will surely heal but it takes time...

Channel the negative energy to ur passion. Personally i find physical exercise/workout very effective

I gives it helps our body to produce that feel good hormone and it tire me down to sleep well at night

Of course the next day the negative feeling returns but it help me to get over a day at a time

so perhaps u can write since u write well

take care bro... we are here to hear u out

[HydroNaut]

11 hours ago, PBoi said:

A very vague relationship of mine ended two months ago, and I thought I was over it. But I'm not, so I'm letting it out here. 

 

I first met him slightly over a year ago. We took the same class and we made super awkward eye contact after class. It was pretty long. I just ignored it because I was the type who preferred to spend eternity in solitude and wasn't really looking to date anyone. But a few weeks later he followed me on Instagram. I looked at his profile and found out that he has a boyfriend. That deterred me even more from making any "moves". We still didn't talk in real life, and when he messaged me on Instagram I would give one-worded replies that killed the conversation instantly. This carried on for a few months.

 

A few months later we were grouped in the same group for a project. We talked a little bit more in real life because we had to, for the project. So I guess we became better acquaintances(?). During this time he also started to keep asking me to have lunch with him. And I would always reject with reasons like I'm busy, or I've already packed my own lunch. (Again, because I'm reclusive af and also remembering that he has a boyfriend). One day I heard that he had just broken up with his boyfriend recently (apparently his boyfriend had cheated on him multiple times). A few days later he asked me out to watch a movie. At this point it was clear to me that he was interested in me, but he seemed a little desperate which creeped me. So I gave excuses not to go. But he was persistent and kept asking me to watch a movie with him. 

He kept flirting with me and after a few weeks I just sort of gave in (he was quite cute). I thought, heck, just give it a try. We went on our first date at the movies. We didn't really talk much. But during the movie his stomach growled because he was hungry. I looked over to him and we made eye contact and he blushed because he was embarrassed, which was kind of cute. After that date we texted everyday, and skyped regularly at night. He displayed tons of romantic gestures like random gifts, holding my hands while crossing the road in public, pecking me on my cheek before leaving, picking me up after class and walking me home even though he lived super far away etc. (this happened by the second week)  Our relationship progressed super fast, but not to the point where we'd (or he'd) call us boyfriends. 

After about 3 weeks he asked me to go to JB with him and stay overnight. It felt a little strange, but I went along with it. It was nice. We had several intimate conversations in the middle of the night as we snacked on granola. We also had sex. I let him top me but it didn't go very well because I was super inexperienced. LOL. But it was still enjoyable. 

Three months in, our "relationship" seemed pretty stabilized. And I was sure that I loved him and I was ready to commit. But I asked him about our relationship status and he said we were exclusive but not official. I didn't mind because maybe he needed a little more time to heal from his previous relationship. But then he suddenly became distant. 

He started replying later to my texts (taking the whole day, even though he's on his phone most of the time), and we met up less and less (from at least 3 times a week to not seeing each other the whole week even though we went to the same school and our class rooms are in the same block). He told me that he was just emotionally drained and needed some time alone to settle himself. I asked him from what and he didn't tell me. Then he started ignoring me all together. I gave him a call one night to ask why he's been avoiding me. And he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I asked him what did he want me to do. He said focus on something else and don't wait for him. So I guess that was a break up? (Can you even call it a break up if it was not even an official relationship? haha)

Yeah so I cried. A LOT. And then a week later, I saw him and his ex holding hands. And I just died.

 

I tried texting him to meet and ask for closure, but he hasn't replied to any of my texts since we "broke up". So I gave up on the idea of seeking closure.

 

For a while I was a ghost floating around in limbo and kept stalking him and his boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-boyfriend's social media 24/7. Then a few weeks later on instagram I saw a photo of them in JB. In the same hotel that we stayed together in. And I realized that I was just a substitute. Because everything that he did with me, he liked to do with his ex/current boyfriend.

 

I tried to forget about him and get over it. Deleted all his photos. Got rid of all his gifts. Blocked him on social media. Pretend he died. For two months it worked. But then yesterday night I had a banana and couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking about him. How much I loved him. 

 

Maybe I was not persistent enough in trying to get him back. His ex harassed him under his void deck and at his workplace to ask for forgiveness. And it worked. Maybe I should do the same. Nah. 





 

 

Let him go, he is not worth you time. I have similar experience like you before. When they cannot get you, they treated you like a gem but once they got it (sex). They will treat you naturally like nothing. I know it is a rough period for you, the last time it took me more than a year to get over it altogether but I hope you will take a shorter period to heal and get over it. 

 

Just like my past, be prepared that he will come back to you again. When his ex did cheat on him tendency is that he might still cheat again. When that time comes, if he did come back to you...you need to stand stern. 

 

All the best. 

[tomcat]

11 hours ago, PBoi said:

And then a week later, I saw him and his ex holding hands. And I just died.
 

Remember this pain, and while I do encourage you to forgive him, it is wise never to forget. Because you learn through pain and experience to be wiser in your selection in the future. Also forgiving him is less about releasing him from what he did, but rather so that you can heal yourself, let go of the pain and move on.

 

Same thing has happened to me a few times, and before I met my current partner of 8 years, the last few guys who wanted to test the waters with me, I just ask them point blank what are they looking for out of spending time with me. In many ways it holds them accountable to their own words, and in the event that they just want you for sex, mid-way you will be able to tell from their advances. Then you can make an informed decision what to do, and you hold your own power. That is very important as a single person, to have autonomy and power in knowing what your choices and options are.

This is my best advice I can give to you, as a young member of this community - but it also applies to women and girls as well, as they enter the dating phase and have to navigate their hearts over their heads. 

Not all doom and gloom, there are some positive things also I can share. 

There are those rare gems that I still recall fondly. I respect those who bravely and openly say they want me for sex & companionship. It is nothing to do with my ego, but rather the fact that he is matured and honest about his needs. So there was one guy which did that, and was looking for someone to rebound from. As he was open and honest, I totally respected what he wanted and gave it to him.

We had a good run for about 8 months, and eventually when it ended, I wished him well - and we went out separate ways with good memories, instead of bitter ones. 

Good luck, and take the scar as a battle wound. Wear it with pride, as it has made you wiser and stronger.
 

[kidster]

I was a rebound item once but never again... 

 

Nowadays, before meeting up, I always ask when his last relationship was. If it's too recent, I rather not meet because I know it takes months to get over someone. And even if I meet him, the whole conversation will be about his ex because the person at this moment needs a listening ear and I just happen to be there. 

 

As for your case, don't worry. Their relationship won't last long since it's built on a rocky ground. But make sure you don't go soft-hearted when that jerk comes back to find you and commit the same mistake again. Make him wait for at least 6 months just to be safe he has fully gotten over his ex.

 

"When you make a mistake, it's not a mistake. When you repeat a mistake, it's a mistake."

 

"Maybe my love will come back someday, only heaven knows... OF COURSE, HE NEVER COME BACK. HAHA" I used to listen to this song back then. Hope it helps.

 

 

[HydroNaut]

Dun be a rubbish refuse centre... Get someone that give you more better worth. 

That guy is a jerk, I think he just use you as a vent or revenge for what his bf did to him. Unfortunately, you fell prey to him. 

 

Think for what you narrated... he called you bf while he treated the whole thing as only exclusive. The withhold is already a tell-sign he is just treating you as a "spare part". That is what I really detest about relationship, some people just wouldn't stand being "alone" and just wanna be "owned" to feel complete. Being attached  or with someone doesn't naturally make you more self worthy. 

 

The more terrifying case you would ever know is a lot of relationships that look pretty cool outwardly are also because somebody just wanna quickly find someone to "fill" up that gap before better one comes along. 

 

 

[thorzguy]

You cried ALOT and is time to move on. The truth hurts and its never easy. Get on your life and focus on studies, family, friends...

And hey, most importantly - love yourself more.

All the best.

[Shitson]

On 5/1/2019 at 10:24 PM, PBoi said:

 

Edited October 23, 2020 by Shitson
Clearing my feed

[mate69]

Be your own man and be independent - that's most important. Don't get into a wrong relationship or for the wrong reasons.

It will totally destroy you and change you into somebody you won't even recognize.

 

[Alponsu]

He was obviously selfish and greedy. Don't waste any more of your breath, energy, and tears on this sorry man. Time to move on!

[fab]

1 hour ago, Alponsu said:

He was obviously selfish and greedy. Don't waste any more of your breath, energy, and tears on this sorry man. Time to move on!

 

Most importantly, don't waste anymore of your youth.

[Guest 2000]

I once met a guy clubbing who I now suspect wanted to use me as a rebound but, since neither of us had a place to go and he was 100% anti-sauna, we never had sex. We enjoyed a great conversation outside, and I learned that he was feeling kind of down after cheating on his boyfriend (but immediately confessing and begging for forgiveness), which caused his boyfriend to take a trip overseas and say they "might" talk when he returned. I just listened, tried to give him some advice to stay positive although I have no experience in such matters, and kept the tone friendly.

 

I have to admit physically he was my type, and we clicked really well at that time and we both wanted to hook up, but neither of us had a place. As a result, I asked him to meet for dinner the next day after we both finished work, and he agreed. But of course when I texted him, he waited a long time to reply, and then said he was too drained from being out so late on Saturday and then working on Sunday. I was like, fine, and he said he would try to meet sometime in the next few days. But of course he stopped replying to my texts, we never met, and I assume he blocked me.

[Guest]

It’s been 2 years. How is it going for you? Have you let go and moved on? How has it changed you or your view on relationships?

Appreciate your sharing. It has helped me understand a few things about human nature better.

 

1. The fun of a relationship is always in the chasing. Once someone has you eating out of his hand, somehow the desirability disappears. The fun is no more. One may appear hard to get at first, and that makes the chasing more exciting. It becomes more like a game than a serious relationship.
Moral of the story - Never let anyone play you, cos they will play you out.

 

2. Some people like to compare especially when they have options. He is able to put himself into a position where his ex was willing to go back to him and another person is completely within his grasp. 
Moral of the story - never be someone’s option.

 

3. Do not let the mistake of anyone scar you for life. They should pay for their own mistakes, not you. Whether he really used you as a rebound should be less of a concern than what can you learn from this experience about yourself. If you can come out of this experience a better and stronger person, then you will be able to truly move on.

 

On 5/1/2019 at 10:24 PM, PBoi said:

A very vague relationship of mine ended two months ago, and I thought I was over it. But I'm not, so I'm letting it out here. 

 

I first met him slightly over a year ago. We took the same class and we made super awkward eye contact after class. It was pretty long. I just ignored it because I was the type who preferred to spend eternity in solitude and wasn't really looking to date anyone. But a few weeks later he followed me on Instagram. I looked at his profile and found out that he has a boyfriend. That deterred me even more from making any "moves". We still didn't talk in real life, and when he messaged me on Instagram I would give one-worded replies that killed the conversation instantly. This carried on for a few months.

 

A few months later we were grouped in the same group for a project. We talked a little bit more in real life because we had to, for the project. So I guess we became better acquaintances(?). During this time he also started to keep asking me to have lunch with him. And I would always reject with reasons like I'm busy, or I've already packed my own lunch. (Again, because I'm reclusive af and also remembering that he has a boyfriend). One day I heard that he had just broken up with his boyfriend recently (apparently his boyfriend had cheated on him multiple times). A few days later he asked me out to watch a movie. At this point it was clear to me that he was interested in me, but he seemed a little desperate which creeped me. So I gave excuses not to go. But he was persistent and kept asking me to watch a movie with him. 

He kept flirting with me and after a few weeks I just sort of gave in (he was quite cute). I thought, heck, just give it a try. We went on our first date at the movies. We didn't really talk much. But during the movie his stomach growled because he was hungry. I looked over to him and we made eye contact and he blushed because he was embarrassed, which was kind of cute. After that date we texted everyday, and skyped regularly at night. He displayed tons of romantic gestures like random gifts, holding my hands while crossing the road in public, pecking me on my cheek before leaving, picking me up after class and walking me home even though he lived super far away etc. (this happened by the second week)  Our relationship progressed super fast, but not to the point where we'd (or he'd) call us boyfriends. 

After about 3 weeks he asked me to go to JB with him and stay overnight. It felt a little strange, but I went along with it. It was nice. We had several intimate conversations in the middle of the night as we snacked on granola. We also had sex. I let him top me but it didn't go very well because I was super inexperienced. LOL. But it was still enjoyable. 

Three months in, our "relationship" seemed pretty stabilized. And I was sure that I loved him and I was ready to commit. But I asked him about our relationship status and he said we were exclusive but not official. I didn't mind because maybe he needed a little more time to heal from his previous relationship. But then he suddenly became distant. 

He started replying later to my texts (taking the whole day, even though he's on his phone most of the time), and we met up less and less (from at least 3 times a week to not seeing each other the whole week even though we went to the same school and our class rooms are in the same block). He told me that he was just emotionally drained and needed some time alone to settle himself. I asked him from what and he didn't tell me. Then he started ignoring me all together. I gave him a call one night to ask why he's been avoiding me. And he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I asked him what did he want me to do. He said focus on something else and don't wait for him. So I guess that was a break up? (Can you even call it a break up if it was not even an official relationship? haha)

Yeah so I cried. A LOT. And then a week later, I saw him and his ex holding hands. And I just died.

 

I tried texting him to meet and ask for closure, but he hasn't replied to any of my texts since we "broke up". So I gave up on the idea of seeking closure.

 

For a while I was a ghost floating around in limbo and kept stalking him and his boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-boyfriend's social media 24/7. Then a few weeks later on instagram I saw a photo of them in JB. In the same hotel that we stayed together in. And I realized that I was just a substitute. Because everything that he did with me, he liked to do with his ex/current boyfriend.

 

I tried to forget about him and get over it. Deleted all his photos. Got rid of all his gifts. Blocked him on social media. Pretend he died. For two months it worked. But then yesterday night I had a banana and couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking about him. How much I loved him. 

 

Maybe I was not persistent enough in trying to get him back. His ex harassed him under his void deck and at his workplace to ask for forgiveness. And it worked. Maybe I should do the same. Nah. 





 

 

[auscent]

Always give time a fair chance. Time will tell how sincere he is, how compatible both of you are.

[Cwiseize]

Forgive but never forget.

 

My 2 cents on this situation, this guy is not worth the effort. Take this as a lesson and not jump straight into a relationship with a guy that recently broke up.

[single42]

wah.. this can become a K-Drama Script already.. LOL LOL

[Steve5380]

58 minutes ago, single42 said:

wah.. this can become a K-Drama Script already.. LOL LOL

 

Why so cynical?