How to disfuse anger

[Guest Anger]

How to disfuse anger. I think without realising I'm getting myself a lot of anger and cant let go myself of the past. 

 

I have a Thai amulet to control anger given by my mom. My mom got it from a monk that visiting from Thailand. I think the monk forsee it very long time ago. I got the amulet more than 10years ago. I didnt think myself angry n hatred keeping person until now. 

 

I saw a cartoon drawing carrying a message. Is about the snake who got hurt by the axe. In anger the snake tried to strangulate n bite the axe. But in the died. Suddenly I feel myself gotten into such situation. I feel like someone is guiding me to that drawing so that I can see the message. 

 

How should I move on from now. I scared I cannot let go of hatred. When I see the person that I dun like n cannot trust n like to talk bad behind me, I will just want to avoid the person. I cant even put a smile to that person. 

 

Whereas for others, from what I see and heard, they can be so friendly in front of someone, but behind them,  the person cursed the person like hell. Isnt it scary. How can I even put a smile to such person. 

 

My senior colleague told me I'm still a kid and need to learn alot to deal with office politic. He adviced me to just smile it off when encounter pissful moment next time.

 

I think I can do it by thinking now but in actual moment I think I still cannot do it. How do I fake it till I make it? I think I have a big ego. How do I be more humble? Can someone guide me?

[Zealouslogue]

Try talking to someone about it? Open up about how you really feel. Try a punching bag. Beat drums. Scream it all out. And once you unleash everything, you will feel better. 

[fab]

Anger is a punishment for yourself, not for the other person.

 

Apologize mentally to the person who anger you. Learn to let go.

 

 

[Guest Anger]

38 minutes ago, fab said:

Anger is a punishment for yourself, not for the other person.

 

Apologize mentally to the person who anger you. Learn to let go.

 

 

I dun feel personally is a punishment for me cause I feel peaceful when dun have to liase with them. But somehow they feel offended. Surprisingly I learnt that the person I avoided also never talk with someone too due to some arguments. 

[jackomaki]

2 hours ago, Guest Anger said:

I dun feel personally is a punishment for me cause I feel peaceful when dun have to liase with them. But somehow they feel offended. Surprisingly I learnt that the person I avoided also never talk with someone too due to some arguments. 

 

So you feel like the anger is a result of interacting with the other person?

[Guest guest]

Letting is not easy, say easier than done. Avoiding the people you do not like although cannot solve the root cause, and yet can allow you to feel less anger and more at peace. But actual fact you also cannot avoid everyone if not you will be ended up with no friends.

[FattChoy]

5 hours ago, Guest Anger said:

How to disfuse anger. I think without realising I'm getting myself a lot of anger and cant let go myself of the past. 

 

I have a Thai amulet to control anger given by my mom. My mom got it from a monk that visiting from Thailand. 

 

Embrace your anger.  

[Steve5380]

I have found a way to avoid anger at other persons but instead gain confidence approaching them and looking them in the eye.

 

It is the realization that all we humans are cursed with life,  that we are the victims, no matter how good or bad, of the inescapable death that may be the last of us.

This lets me see other people as fellow companions in disgrace.  How can I get angry at someone who, in my trained mind, only is alive for an instant in eternity, is as insignificant as I am, and will vanish in less than a hundred years without leaving any trace?

 

Contrary to what this appears, I find this thinking (that I hold only if I foresee some anger coming) not negative nor depressing.  It is simply an universal equalizer,  a matter-of-fact that makes us all equal.  This also works good against envy.

.

Edited December 28, 2019 by Steve5380

[shyc]

It is human nature after all. From what you write, going away from your source of anger is a good sign. Knowing and trying to deal with it is also good. Just as long as you don't turn that anger into bad actions or self hurt. If you are young, it will be there. Once you age more, it tend to mellow out when you have face the obstacles of life. You will be more at peace and see things differently than. 

[Guest Guest29]

So furious with my bf. He always forget to wipe the toilet seat after peeing.

[GachiMuchi]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest29 said:

So furious with my bf. He always forget to wipe the toilet seat after peeing.

 

Only an idiot would fight over itsy bitsy matters.

All these fights over mundane matter does not built a better relationship but will create rifts.

You only have yourself to blame for getting angry over puny pee drops.

Don't cry when the relationship eventually ends over a fight about pee drops and dirty toilets.

Stupid, immature person deserves to be single forever!

Edited June 1, 2024 by GachiMuchi

[Guest Guest]

3 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

 

Only an idiot would fight over itsy bitsy matters.

All these fights over mundane matter does not built a better relationship but will create rifts.

You only have yourself to blame for getting angry over puny pee drops.

Don't cry when the relationship eventually ends over a fight about pee drops and dirty toilets.

Stupid, immature person deserves to be single forever!

If a person cannot stand the bad habit of others, cannot stay together with that person. Still can get attached but stay separately lor. Cause some people maybe have OCD, so also cannot blame that person always fight over itsy bitsy matters.

[singalion]

6 hours ago, Guest Guest29 said:

So furious with my bf. He always forget to wipe the toilet seat after peeing.

 

Just wonder how you will react if you one day find out your bf has hanky panky on the side?

 

Your bf doesn't forget, he's just lazy. Does he clean the toilet. If not, then ask him to clean from now on. 

 

 

Ask your bf nicely bit repeatedly to sit when peeing. Solves the problem. 

 

Edited June 2, 2024 by singalion

[Guest OCD freaked]

15 hours ago, Guest Guest29 said:

So furious with my bf. He always forget to wipe the toilet seat after peeing.

You remind us of this guy

 

[fbttop]

He may be controversial and share a fair group of fans and haters

but take 7 min to listen and digest this video below...

 

情緒穩定的人，是被愛出來的！管理情緒的五個好方法。

 

Good luck in managing anger and balance your negative emotions. It can greatly affect the people you cherish and love the most.

Come out with coping mechanism before you lose them all..

[Steve5380]

On 6/1/2024 at 3:39 PM, Guest Guest29 said:

So furious with my bf. He always forget to wipe the toilet seat after peeing.

 

Not just disgusted but angry?...  not just angry but furious?...  not just furious but SO furious??? 

 

Please identify here your bf,  so that one can warn him of your temper.  His life is at risk if he does something that makes you MORE than so furious!

[Guest Guest]

On 6/2/2024 at 10:39 AM, singalion said:

 

Just wonder how you will react if you one day find out your bf has hanky panky on the side?

 

Your bf doesn't forget, he's just lazy. Does he clean the toilet. If not, then ask him to clean from now on. 

 

 

Ask your bf nicely bit repeatedly to sit when peeing. Solves the problem. 

 

Personal habit difficult to change. No use asking the person to change, likely he won't change and continue to do what he likes.

 

This is why if want to get attached and stay with a person, have to endure. If cannot endure then better stay single forever.

[mate69]

4 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

Personal habit difficult to change. No use asking the person to change, likely he won't change and continue to do what he likes.

 

This is why if want to get attached and stay with a person, have to endure. If cannot endure then better stay single forever.

 

YES ^

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Personal habit difficult to change. No use asking the person to change, likely he won't change and continue to do what he likes.

 

This is why if want to get attached and stay with a person, have to endure. If cannot endure then better stay single forever.

 

The bf may have difficulty changing his habits.  HOW ABOUT YOU?   You also cannot change your habits?  

 

Because if you can,  the solution is simple.  DISREGARD the pee on the toilet seat.  All it takes is to wipe it off with some toilet paper.  Disregard the few of many habits of him that irritate you,  and maybe, maybe you will have a long relationship to cherish one day...

[Chonggie]

When I was younger, I had a bad temper and got angry easily. After these outbursts, I often realized I had misunderstood something, making the situation worse or causing regret. Office politics exist everywhere, but changing your perspective helps. I used to be egotistical and always justified my opinions. A book changed my mindset with a simple question: Why can't there be multiple "best" businesses in the same industry instead everyone saying I am the best in Singapore etc ? This made me prefer to listen and laugh inwardly at others' comments or shallow thinking. I still get upset occasionally, but it's a slow process.
 

Why make yourself angry and spoilt your day when the person who upset you probably doesn't care?
 

[Balestier]

Deep breathe, and go away.

[Guest Lol]

Sometimes I get angry and think about it and get more angry. 

 

So one time I just close my eyes and imagine I will be dead in the next 5 min. Peaceful death I will just disappear. Cease to exist. 

 

And suddenly whatever angry doesn't matter anymore. Cause it will only last for 5 more min. 

 

So quickly find gratitude in the last 5 minutes. 

[mate69]

Yes just try to bat it away.

No point getting yrself mad over this

[singalion]

22 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Personal habit difficult to change. No use asking the person to change, likely he won't change and continue to do what he likes.

 

This is why if want to get attached and stay with a person, have to endure. If cannot endure then better stay single forever.

 

But you can talk about it... There are people who change habits... If you avoid talking about what bothers you in a relationship then I don't think it will last for very long. 

 

The bf wouldn't be the first pee standing male who learns that sitting can do the same. 

 

Just tell him he has to clean the toilet until he sits... 

 

If he loves the guy let's see how long it takes. 

 

[Guest Guest]

16 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

The bf may have difficulty changing his habits.  HOW ABOUT YOU?   You also cannot change your habits?  

 

Because if you can,  the solution is simple.  DISREGARD the pee on the toilet seat.  All it takes is to wipe it off with some toilet paper.  Disregard the few of many habits of him that irritate you,  and maybe, maybe you will have a long relationship to cherish one day...

Like i have said, endure each other habits in order to have a long relationship, and see which day both volcano erupted and ended the relationship badly. Like for straight couples, ended up divorce since both cannot endure each other anymore.

 

In this case, if the person closed both eyes and wipe off the pee on the toilet seat everytime for his bf, would ended up like his maid, clearing up the mess for him. As his bf cannot change his habit and the other person needs to change his mindset to suit his bf. Even some people would view such matter as small little things, but it would build up into a big matter down the road, and might ended up with an ugly ending.

[Guest Guest]

8 hours ago, Chonggie said:

When I was younger, I had a bad temper and got angry easily. After these outbursts, I often realized I had misunderstood something, making the situation worse or causing regret. Office politics exist everywhere, but changing your perspective helps. I used to be egotistical and always justified my opinions. A book changed my mindset with a simple question: Why can't there be multiple "best" businesses in the same industry instead everyone saying I am the best in Singapore etc ? This made me prefer to listen and laugh inwardly at others' comments or shallow thinking. I still get upset occasionally, but it's a slow process.
 

Why make yourself angry and spoilt your day when the person who upset you probably doesn't care?
 

For office politics indeed no need to get angry over the people in the office. There is nothing much you can do about it. Getting angry with your colleagues and boss also no use. Like i always don't agreed with my boss over certain matters, but i tell myself no need to get angry and upset, since he is the boss, no matter whether he is right or wrong, he would still win in the end. So just let my boss win, don't comment and say anything.

[Guest Guest]

37 minutes ago, singalion said:

 

But you can talk about it... There are people who change habits... If you avoid talking about what bothers you in a relationship then I don't think it will last for very long. 

 

The bf wouldn't be the first pee standing male who learns that sitting can do the same. 

 

Just tell him he has to clean the toilet until he sits... 

 

If he loves the guy let's see how long it takes. 

 

I find in this era, talking about it with the other party doesn't really work well. Most of the time it would strain the relationship between you and the person. Letting the other person knows you are no happy with this and no happy with that, sometimes really cannot change the situation at all and further strain the relationship. Not everyone can accept and listen when people say things that they do not like to hear, or change their routine based on what others people say.

 

It happens to any type of relationship, no really must be couples relationship. 

[Magicerife]

To be honest I get a bit annoyed everytime I see the title. But I defuse my anger by diffusing my attention onto the other threads instead. 

[singalion]

But swallowing everything what angers you doesn't work in a relationship also. Everything comes to surface when one of them explodes... Male to male relationships nowadays aren't construed like SEA straight marriages 30 years ago where one party is subordinate to the other. 

 

Swallowing such dislikes is also not psychologically healthy in the long run. 

 

Peeing while standing is such a petty thing that permits change without losing face. It's not relating to a character that isn't easily changeable. If any such partner can't accommodate such a tiny change than I don't think he is worth to be in a relationship. 

 

You can nicely talk to the other. It's a small matter, ...

 

 

Edited June 4, 2024 by singalion

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Like i have said, endure each other habits in order to have a long relationship, and see which day both volcano erupted and ended the relationship badly. Like for straight couples, ended up divorce since both cannot endure each other anymore.

 

In this case, if the person closed both eyes and wipe off the pee on the toilet seat everytime for his bf, would ended up like his maid, clearing up the mess for him. As his bf cannot change his habit and the other person needs to change his mindset to suit his bf. Even some people would view such matter as small little things, but it would build up into a big matter down the road, and might ended up with an ugly ending.

 

Yes,  the DISREGARD I wrote is simply a short term remedy to avoid the SO FURIOUS.  It does not mean that all has to end there.  @singalion wrote:

 

4 hours ago, singalion said:

 

Peeing while standing is such a petty thing that permits change without losing face. It's not relating to a character that isn't easily changeable. If any such partner can't accommodate such a tiny change than I don't think he is worth to be in a relationship. 

 

You can nicely talk to the other. It's a small matter, ...

 

 

Here is where the existence of LOVE helps:  even a little bit of love can make the bf take in consideration the dislike his peeing on the toilet seat gives to his partner, to then make that little change he was asked nicely.  

[auscent]

Diffuse anger before explosion: think abt how regret after some explosion is more painful.

[am_btm_4_u]

Getting fucked can diffused anger?

[PlayersGroup]

1 hour ago, am_btm_4_u said:

Getting fucked can diffused anger?

 

A good blowjob for me can. Haha..

[am_btm_4_u]

1 minute ago, PlayersGroup said:

 

A good blowjob for me can. Haha..

  Probabby that angry top is diffused and released with a good butt..

[PlayersGroup]

But honestly, everyone will get angry at some point, but anger will come and go, just don't let it hurt urself or others in the process can already.

 

Before eruption, put down the phone. Walk away, find somewhere quiet sit down n take a few deep breaths. Most people will be ok la. If u really upset about something, maybe also need a cooler head to solve, trying to solve problems when very angry or emotional is usually counterproductive.

[Guest U say Teo Boh?]

Because humans are animals, our natural tendency is to seek out situations or objects that bring us joy. Examples of these include finding a peaceful location to be, enjoying delicious cuisine, avoiding crowds, watching entertaining movies, engaging in sexual activity, etc.     Our feelings of anger, sadness, and depression are frequently caused by our inability to control certain situations. Some examples of this include having to work on the weekends due to boss demands, stepping on a pile of dog poop while distracted by a phone message, having to go out for lunch on a rainy day and getting scolded by crazy people for no reason.

 

Yes, amid daily activity, enjoyment and distress tend to entwine.  Lean more toward your gut feeling if you want to be happy; if not, just go with the routine in life. 

 

Even if you managed to attain full happiness, it will draws even more attention from some insecured beings to make your life miserable simply because the world is not perfect to make one happy all the time. 

 

Real life example:  When my boss,  (not within my control), told straight into my face that it was not her job to make me happy,  I started looking for job right there and then, within my control, which makes me happy she cannot control me forever.   

 

Moral of the story:  Happiness comes naturally when you are in control of your life, otherwise you get the above topic mentioned over and over again in this forum