mate69 Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 15 hours ago, doncoin said: While we can be altruistic and spare a thought of our parents' health condition if it is a chronic health condition, then is this child going to remain closeted until his parents are dead? A heart attack can be triggered by many things, and it is not fair, in my opinion, to burden the child with poor health choices made by the parent. Furthermore, remaining closeted can have significant mental and emotional health impacts, including feelings of isolation, depression, and anxiety in the child. So in the train of altruism, what are the parents going to do for their closeted child's wellbeing? The truth is, they cannot do anything, because they didn't give their child the safe space to come out to them. The problem with altruism when being forced upon due to whatever the reasons may be is that it eventually leads to resentment. So if you are a gay child, you have to know what you are getting into by choosing to remain closeted. It may mean leading a double or triple life, where you present one version of yourself to your family, another version of yourself at work, and another version of yourself to the rest of the world. It means putting time and effort into ensuring versions of yourself never have to collide. I reiterate, that as children, our job is to be honest and truthful to our parents and loved ones. How they handle the truth is something we cannot control. In the case of the Indonesian situation, if the parents knew that their son was gay from the beginning, there would be no opportunity for the ex to dox to parents. By living your truth, you control the narrative of your life story and not let others dictate it. This is exactly it ^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 U cannot blame her. If i have a son who is gay, i would say , pa si guan sai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naveyafluz Posted March 28 Report Share Posted March 28 Glad you decided to move out of closet, you can only let your mom digest herself already. Unless my mum asked me, I don't think I will ever tell her myself. Tell or don't tell will not caused any difference to my life so I rather don't take the risk of hurting my mum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgwildfire18 Posted March 29 Report Share Posted March 29 On 2/23/2020 at 1:15 AM, Guest Lost said: I recently just came out to my mom and she did not take it well, she has been crying non stop and would not listen to what I been explaining. I tried to get her to read some article but she doesn't even want to read. She tell me to see a doctor together to see if there is a chance that I can be put back onto the right path. I know that I cant change who I am, but is there a counselling service that is able to handle this type of situation? Or is there someone I can get her to talk to? I cannot understand why you chose to take the risk of breaking her heart by coming out. Why hurt someone you care for when there is absolutely nothing to gain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dianthus Posted April 13 Report Share Posted April 13 On 3/29/2024 at 6:06 PM, sgwildfire18 said: I cannot understand why you chose to take the risk of breaking her heart by coming out. Why hurt someone you care for when there is absolutely nothing to gain? How do you know there is absolutely nothing to gain by the OP coming out to his mum? Especially since he has already come out to his dad who seemed to accept it? I mean, it’s a fair assumption that she could react badly but does that mean there’s absolutely no good that could come out of this (over time)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimfun Posted April 13 Report Share Posted April 13 At times, you don’t need to hurt someone to make yourself happy. I believe everyone has their own secrets, which we may carry with us to the grave. Not everything needs to be published in newspapers to assert our freedom. Just like a vegan doesn't need everyone to agree and accept their lifestyle, similarly, you shouldn't feel forced to agree to date or marry someone just to make them happy. Hence, let time take its course. T Gunner and horhorfun 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimfun Posted April 13 Report Share Posted April 13 母亲只有一个，爱人可以离开，还会有新的，但母亲的爱是独一无二的，她的离去留下了无尽的遗憾。 StockBottom and T Gunner 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgwildfire18 Posted April 14 Report Share Posted April 14 (edited) 10 hours ago, Guest Dianthus said: How do you know there is absolutely nothing to gain by the OP coming out to his mum? Especially since he has already come out to his dad who seemed to accept it? I mean, it’s a fair assumption that she could react badly but does that mean there’s absolutely no good that could come out of this (over time)? You missed my point ... what is the gain if his father accepts his being gay? Is he going to get richer? Is he going to make his father happier? Edited April 14 by sgwildfire18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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