Are We Really Really Able To Have Close Bros Without Any Sex?

[ivanl]

On 6/21/2020 at 7:18 AM, Guest Terence said:

i know many gay friends started out as ons or f buddies before becoming close friends. those in a clique, they also have sexual experiences with each other before. some also have the thoughts but never ask cos their friends are attached. and then there are NSA fun secretly behind doors.

 

some friends never become close friends at all though they can get along well. cos one party is sexually interested but the other party is not. i myself have alot of such cases - want to develop sincere 'brotherhood' friendship but they wanted something more.

 

those that are not sexually interested in each other, they are just normal friends.

 

so is it possible? no make up stories pls.

 

Of course can. Just need to find the right person. Definitely exist.

Edited August 20, 2020 by ivanl

[Guest Guest]

Got a few close 1 during uni in e 90s. Close till can hug on bed, pinch here pinch there, touch here touch there n yes I mean private part too. We can go shower together,  take our time staying nude in the toilet talking n play smacking at each other butt with towel.  Got a sibei naughty 1 who instead of pointing middle finger to e 1 who is talking cock,  he always stand up pull down his shorts n show his kkj.  Well....there r reali no sex involved during e friendship. Even tho seeing 2 of them who always stay naked thru e nite in hotel room during our holiday trips,  sex never come in mind. 

Haha...Me reali wondering r these guys str8?  

Anyway all married with kids liao. Maybe tis is wat I cal bromance bah. 

[Guest Guest]

I got a very close str8 fren fr army who like to be hug n oni wear underwear in bunk. It all started when he was at e corridor on fone wif his gf. I playfully hug him fr behind n then playfully insert my hang into his underwear touching his kkj. He did not stop me n he did not go hard.

I m staying alone as my parents r always overseas doing business so he lepak at my hse quite often if he is not wif his gf. 

After shower at my hse, he oso oni in underwear. He is always butt naked out fr toilet wif his towel over his shoulder preparing his instant noodles in kitchen before  putting on his underwear fr his bag. He like asking me to hug him whenever he layin on my bed playing his game n I will slowly move my hand 'playing' his kkj, but then he never ever go hard. He can still ask me "oei u gay ah, y u always touch my kkj! " 

Tis is reali a close bros relationship without sex. Anyway he is married wif 2 kids. 

[upshot]

Really depends entirely on how you view sex today. Especially from the same gender. All the traditional perception you see that in a str8 couple relationship is out the window. Procreation which is a biological program meant to continue the spices no long valid is totally taken out of the picture. If you then view sexual act for example a game of badminton or tennis with your kakis, it is very doable. heh. Sound too far off? Not really if you look at say BW and the topics, the issues and the numerous invitation to meet for sex.

 

A lot of the stigmas we know of are not natural as per say but develop or enforce by cultural beliefs evolving from cave man till today. Even the traditions of marriage is breaking down and mean pretty differently today. We are moving forward and ever changing. Not so long ago, gay is just a word for "happy' but today? Now we have people not blinking an eye about BiSexual, She Males, people who do not mind marrying robot even...etc Find that hard to believe or accept? well every generation will always have their protractors but it gets adopted. You can not stop changes. Will come a time same sex fucking is as normal s a handshake. It's already started if you did not know. Maybe not in Singapore but .... google is your friend.

[Guest guest]

20 hours ago, upshot said:

You can not stop changes. Will come a time same sex fucking is as normal s a handshake. It's already started if you did not know. Maybe not in Singapore but .... google is your friend.

True... I have straight friend who fxxk guy. He don't do kissing with the guy. All he need is a hole to fxxk and someone who can give him a bj. There are indeed all kind of people in this world. Trust me. 

 

[upshot]

6 hours ago, Guest guest said:

True... I have straight friend who fxxk guy. He don't do kissing with the guy. All he need is a hole to fxxk and someone who can give him a bj. There are indeed all kind of people in this world. Trust me. 

 

That's for sure man...

[LeanMature]

Close bro (without any sex) only exists when you are not physically attracted to him.

[HotAshley]

Perhaps, it’s possible to sleep with our close friends and in the same time not to destroy this friendship. But frankly speaking, I don’t believe in it. I always keep the borders between friendship and lovers. No, I’ll never be able to sleep with my friend. I consider that the most sensible sex can be only with those whom we love with all our heart. I love to try something new in bed with my boyfriend. We often use vibrators, toys and lubricants which we buy at https://www.adultentertainmentstore.com/ where you can buy something what will correspond your wishes and tastes. Sex can be fantastic if to use your imagination. And no need to destroy your friendship.

Edited November 2, 2020 by HotAshley

[Guest Pervertress]

Are We Really Really Able To Have sex with our Close Bros without spoiling the friendship?

[Guest guest]

On 8/31/2020 at 3:53 PM, LeanMature said:

Close bro (without any sex) only exists when you are not physically attracted to him.

Agreed. If physically attracted to him, don't think i can resist having any sex with him. When i physically attracted to him, high chance i will want to have sex with him everyday. 

[mijsdlog]

On 6/21/2020 at 7:18 AM, Guest Terence said:

i know many gay friends started out as ons or f buddies before becoming close friends. those in a clique, they also have sexual experiences with each other before. some also have the thoughts but never ask cos their friends are attached. and then there are NSA fun secretly behind doors.

 

some friends never become close friends at all though they can get along well. cos one party is sexually interested but the other party is not. i myself have alot of such cases - want to develop sincere 'brotherhood' friendship but they wanted something more.

 

those that are not sexually interested in each other, they are just normal friends.

 

so is it possible? no make up stories pls.

 

Of course it is possible to be close friends and not have any sexual interaction. 

A lot of it depends on how you manage your friendships.

Be honest with yourself regarding what you expect from the other person. 

If you find that you keep getting people who start to get sexual after a while, consider whether or not you are subconsciously giving off a certain vibe or if you are being unclear about your boundaries.

[G_M]

14 hours ago, Berchasgaden said:

Looking for friends preferably mature to hangout for chat sessions. 

 

14 hours ago, Berchasgaden said:

Duplicate. First time user

 

14 hours ago, Berchasgaden said:

How to delete my duplicate message 

 

For spamming the Main forum with hookup ads.

 

1 warning point.

[G_M]

14 hours ago, Greenman said:

Sure. Pm me bro.

 

1 warning point for answering that idiot and for diverting the discussion.

[LeanMature]

21 hours ago, mijsdlog said:

 

Of course it is possible to be close friends and not have any sexual interaction. 

A lot of it depends on how you manage your friendships.

Be honest with yourself regarding what you expect from the other person. 

If you find that you keep getting people who start to get sexual after a while, consider whether or not you are subconsciously giving off a certain vibe or if you are being unclear about your boundaries.

 

Again, i wish to reiterate that close friends without sexual interaction can only exists when BOTH are not physically attracted to each other.  When there is sex involved, the dynamics of friendship changes to another level.

[Guest Henry]

You have to refrain on doing something that will ruin your friendship

[Guest Life]

Only possible when one stops thinking with the tiny brain below. I have gay and straight buddies, very close but never for once so I have thoughts to cross the line. They are gorgeous, but you just need to respect them as friends. On the other hand, I also have a close friend who I will make out with. He was my ex, friends or fwb if you wana call it, but there is mutual attraction yet we know we aren’t suitable as a couple. 

[Guest Try and see]

On 8/9/2020 at 8:07 AM, Fiacla said:

I have the same experience during my younger days too. Was in Airforce as a regular. My buddy was touchy too though he is str8. We were so close. One of the incidents, while driving, he would unvelcro his overall groin area and move my hand into it touching his underwear bulge.

 

I did confessed to him one day that i'm gay and he asked me to stay away from him.

 

Oh man, that really sucks.

I think some straight guys like to have 'gay fun' with other straight guys, esp in an all-male environment like the military, because it's thrilling, since it's a different feeling from having fun with a girl.

And they don't feel as though they are cheating on their girlfriend since there is no girl involved.

But the moment they find out that the other guy is gay, like what happened in your case, the dynamics will change, and they suddenly become repulsed.

 

It's the double standard that some straight guys have, which can be very hurtful.

 

I had such a camp mate before when I was an NSF. Same thing - he was a very straight guy with a girlfriend, but occasionally he likes to sexually touch and tease other guys. One time, he kissed me while I was sleeping in the bunk, because he said I looked so cute.

Another time, he played the guitar and sang (during guard duty) and suddenly grabbed my hand and stared at me like he was in some romantic MTV!

Later on, when he had the suspicion that I was gay, he got very angry about it, and wasn't so close to me thereafter.

Still hurts a little when I think about it, even though it's been many years already. 

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 11:24 AM, Since u r here said:

why didnt u qn him why is it ok for him to kiss u and ie not gay (just purely bromance only?) ?

 

That's actually a good question.

 

At that time, I didn't dare to ask him why he could do those homoerotic things, but I could not be gay.

His overall behaviour was very manly, and therefore his heterosexuality was unquestionable, plus he had a girlfriend. So likely he would have said that he was just having fun whereas my gay attraction was more repulsive since it was "for real".

 

He was my senior in camp, and he treated me quite well, so I also did not want to clash with him and risk losing him as a friend.

 

But most importantly, I was very closeted at that time, so for me to over-argue about gay rights would have given me away.

It was the late 1990s, so within the SAF, being gay was still something that was very heavily stigmatised.

So if I had really questioned him, I think I would have ended up looking like an idiot, with the whole camp siding with him and ostracizing me for being gay.

 

On hindsight, I remember that he was quite active in church then, so I think that kind of affected his prejudice towards gay guys as well.

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 12:31 PM, Since u r here said:

it cannot be that he needed a "substitute " when in camp? He gets to book out weekly for sure!
I hve no doubt he is striaght......... but since he is close to u, it is ok to ask qn in a very gentle way

 

I couldn't, cos I was straight-acting at that time. If I ask too much, it would confirm his suspicion that I was gay, and that would be the end of our friendship.

 

For straight guys, it's somehow okay for them to fool around with other guys, but not okay for them to have gay friends.

That's a painful lesson I learned in NS.

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 12:39 PM, Since u r here said:

oh, i m suggesting u to ask when he stray away from u , u can qn him is there anything wrong? 
he was the one who out of the blue kiss u
Not u who initiate it 

 

I knew the reason, because one time, I put up a few posters of a certain popular Hollywood actor from that era, and he commented on how "weird" it was that I was doing that. Then he angrily said, "I think you're gay!", and stormed off.

 

On hindsight, the posters were a huge mistake. Should never have done that. Not sure why I did back then. Just a teenage crush gone wild, I guess. 🤦‍♂️

 

Anyway, the last I heard, he had migrated to another country after his ORD, and as you can imagine, we did not stay in touch after NS.

 

So I don't know how he is doing now. He has a very common English name and surname (something as common as "John Tan"), so it's very hard to search for him online either.

 

I just see it as we were not fated to be friends for life.

 

Maybe one day when his son (if he has one) comes out to him, then he will learn. 

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 1:01 PM, Since u r here said:

if it is more of a heroic kind of Hollywd star eg Rambo, i dont think males will disapprove having such idol

 

It was more of the Hollywood heartthrob kind, not the Rambo/Terminator kind. That's why he suspected, and that's why I regretted it so much till this day.

 

 

On 6/25/2022 at 1:01 PM, Since u r here said:

yah which lead u to a 2-way dialogue, i will gently reply "the same for how u kiss me" hence i got this (poster) for u

 

It wouldn't have ended well if I had said that.

He would probably have replied with something very hurtful like, "Well, if I had known that you were gay, I would never have touched you, much less kiss you!"

 

It's no point: straight guys are always right, no matter what they do wrong; we gay guys are always wrong, no matter what we do right. 

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 1:49 PM, Since u r here said:

 to know that!!!! sniff sniff sob sob

Felt sorry that u have to go thru that too

in army i alwy see them grab one and then touch touch
(the one being touched enjoyed it for sure ) 
even me as an LGBT i hve never enjoy touching anyone without first seeking permission or ... i dont find that fanciful too

 

Thanks! Appreciate that!

 

I take it your NS was in the 2010s, when camp culture was more relaxed and liberal?

 

My NS camp culture in the 90s was still pretty regimental and homophobic, and being gay was a no-no. 

There was another NSF, my junior, who was somehow suspected of being gay because of his mannerisms, and the teasings he got from the senior hokkien pengs were quite bad and cruel, although he was not really bullied or abused.

Luckily, he proved to be very good in his work, and he quickly earned the respect of the more senior regulars, including the OC.

So after the initial months, he was left alone and people did not tease him any further. Plus he was an overall nice, helpful, and humble guy. So he gained many friends in camp who would defend him if need be.

 

Yeah, I also don't touch people sexually, even for fun during informal gatherings. Just not me.

 

[Guest Try and see]

On 8/31/2020 at 3:53 PM, LeanMature said:

Close bro (without any sex) only exists when you are not physically attracted to him.

 

I fully agree. That's why nowadays, if I start to feel any attraction towards any guy friend, I will start avoiding him.

No choice, because as a gay guy, it's a source of great torment. And it pains me that it hurts them, because the other person will wonder why I've suddenly become so cold and distant towards him, and wonder if he did anything wrong.

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 2:15 PM, Since u r here said:

Sorry to say those who are effeminate or the ultra-handsome ones surely will be called out to do the stripping after every Range!!!!! i dont even know whether they do it!

 

Oh, was there such a practice? I've never heard of it before. 

I know that after range, usually everyone would be extremely exhausted, so they won't have the mood or energy to do anything sexual! 😄

 

Just want to shower and sleep.

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 4:54 PM, Since u r here said:

that is not a sexual activity

after a range , they have to stripped search to ensure no1 brings out ammunition /cartridges

 

you sure u r in the combat , and in the 90s?

 

 

every activity during BMT or as a trainee, is tiring needless to say

 

 

I was 😀

But they never strip-search anyone after range. They just make everyone do the declaration, then the sergeants will feel everyone's pockets to make sure there are no rounds or magazines inside.

 

Nobody had to strip. How come yours had? 

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 5:35 PM, Since u r here said:

i am not sure i m from Tekong

 

yours must be at Main land Sg

 

trg was tougher!

 

Yes, mine was one of the last few batches to have our BMT at Nee Soon Camp.

 

So, tell me, they really select a few guys and make them strip in front of the whole platoon after every range?! 😍

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/25/2022 at 7:51 PM, Since u r here said:

yes, must i repeat ?

 

it was so stressed!! (alrdy trying to pass the range test, i dont aim for marksmen but i shdnt fail too)

 

every range i prayed hard i m not the selected boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u guys find it funnie right? i dont !!!!

if i m the rounder / plumper one , i will tremble more, fortunately i m the thinner type
but have to keep to topic, cannot discuss more le
i felt sorry for my buddy or other bro who have to strip in public too, but u can never predict who the sergeant or officers picked!

 

i think in this modern era, this is not correct!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is Hazing right?

 

 

Hmmm I'm pretty sure what they were doing was not legitimate. But wow! I've never heard of such a thing, even during my ICT which was in the 2010s.

Pretty sure that your instructors were abusing their authority.

 

(Sorry to stray from the topic!)

[Guest Hiao Chee 冰冰]

On 6/21/2020 at 7:18 AM, Guest Terence said:

i know many gay friends started out as ons or f buddies before becoming close friends. those in a clique, they also have sexual experiences with each other before. some also have the thoughts but never ask cos their friends are attached. and then there are NSA fun secretly behind doors.

 

some friends never become close friends at all though they can get along well. cos one party is sexually interested but the other party is not. i myself have alot of such cases - want to develop sincere 'brotherhood' friendship but they wanted something more.

 

those that are not sexually interested in each other, they are just normal friends.

 

so is it possible? no make up stories pls.

So sad ..no sex one.....

[Fiacla]

On 6/25/2022 at 7:04 PM, Guest Try and see said:

 

Yes, mine was one of the last few batches to have our BMT at Nee Soon Camp.

 

So, tell me, they really select a few guys and make them strip in front of the whole platoon after every range?! 😍

Which year is your batch? haha

[Guest Hehe]

I call these kinds korkor. :)

[singalion]

 

 

Are We Really Really Able To Have Close Bros Without Any Sex?

 

 

Answer: Yes, why not? What makes you doubt?

 

Many gays have a gay friends circle or platonic gay friends. 

 

Being gay doesn't mean sexaddict... 

 

 

 

[Thatguy642]

Do you mean gay bros? Most of the gay friends I have I’m not really into, and most of my friends are straight guys, so no real possibility for sex there.

 

But my straight guy friends can be very touchy platonically, and to be honest sometimes when they touch my arms or rub my abs (when I used to have less fat lol) I get a bit turned on but since they’re straight I know nothing will happen. Just need to know your boundaries and your role!

[Thatguy642]

On 7/4/2022 at 3:37 PM, Since u r here said:

cos u muscular mah!!! gd for u! i dont mind touching (joking) 
I have hardly touch a male (straight) in a professional setting, neither do i touch my army buddies too

even hawker boy also asked me m i in charge of a platoon, why do i look ........ he is the bulky type hence straights will not mind discussing or asking ....

maybe i was wearing my latest oversized shirt that day?

n in the eyes of straights , every little "wrong action" is consider "gayish"
they surely will tell u "mai ghey leh" or dont "gay" leh (the softer men who tried to be touchy might get such comments), so very hard to have fanciful relationship w straights

 

gays?? they will normally not call or address one another bros, sorry to say!

 

Haha hardly muscular, I’m actually too skinny for my own liking but working on it. The problem is when they playfully touch they really don’t know how much it turns me on since I’m so sensitive to touch! 
 

but yeah straight people tend to label a lot of things gay but I’m lucky that my friends are all really open minded and love to give hugs and show affection. Does wonders for my mental health!

[Thatguy642]

On 7/4/2022 at 4:47 PM, Since u r here said:

younger guys might still "randomly" touch

but  i cannot imagine a matured guy w family still playfully touch?

Actually I had a colleague in his 50s who was married with kids when I used to work in a bar be super touchy with me. He even put his hands under my shirt and rubbed my stomach when I was reaching for something high up. Not really sure if he was just touchy like that or if he was in the closet.

[Bookgreen]

I guess so.. i feel for a close straight friend whom was really my type of guy but never once did i even touch him because friendship was more important. That’s what kept the balance.

[mesmerizedglobal]

Interesting topic that I'd love to resurrect, hehe.

 

I always wanted a companion or buddy who can be "intimate" but not necessarily sexual. I discovered that hugging and cuddling can be therapeutic. I've opted to abstain as a bimarried, and just enjoy being chill with gay/bi friends as buddies. I'm no perfect person to say I would not be tempted to go further, but I just choose not to. I discovered it's a joy to make that choice.

[my pleasure with u]

Great to have bros buddy. Non sex. Chat , coffee, cuddle n teasing each other when we are alone either our place or a day trip.  At times can be very lonely either you are single, married or with family. We just need another bro soul that we can talk, laugh and share our problem n loneliness that's all we need. I do met a few nice gentlemen. For married guys this is our dark secret unexplainable. 😔 . Have a great day to all. 

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Why not? If both r open minded rant each other supportive... accompany...don't mind sharing anything etc ...

[doncoin]

I have close gay friends whom I am not sexually attracted to. I value the dynamics of the relationship more than sex with these guys. We have seen each other naked, saw each other at sex parties, etc. But the thought of hooking up with them just wasn’t something I want to venture into. So yes, it is possible to have a platonic relationship/friendship with another gay guy. You just to go figure out what is more important to you. 

[snowbeef]

hope to meet someone interested in pure friendships too.....can really enjoy the hangout or travel together or common interest...the problem is most people would run away from you if you are not their type...hardly anyone into friendships

[PenChubSide]

I am from Malaysia. I have a close friend who for many years i thought he is straight. His name is A. He had relationships with gals, but then single for a long time. One day, while we were sharing a room and a bed during a trip, i woke up in the middle of night and I saw Grindr wide open on phone. I thought it was my phone and I was panicked. But turned out, that's not my phone.

It was one of A's phones. I was shocked. My heart pounded so fast and (my bad) I can't stop myself from continue scrolling his grindr. All those horny chats, especially with certain ethnicity (maybe he was trying to avoid his own community to prevent identity revealed). It's just so hard for me to link who i think he was, with who he is in the app. After that, i acted like nothing and continue friend friend with A, while inside me always wanted a chance to "confront" him. 

 

Another one day, while i was chatting with a gay friend, B, he revealed yet another truth about my straight (still?) close friend A.

 

One time, my close friend A was very very horny, that he invited B to fuck him. I thought he was a top!! Now he become a top verse. And when i ask for more detail, i realise, A was fuxked by B right after he finished outing with me and put me back to my house. WTF. Like RIGHT AWAY!! And that fuxk ended up with red river from A's hole. 

 

And after that, there were many times were i found A tends to linger around my taman after putting me back. Until now, he is still playing the role of Straight Guy. Every now and then, whenever there is a gay joke and gay topic pops out among our friend group (who suspicious of me being gay), he will still gang up with them to mock me. Very double faced. But still, he is overall a good friend but i guess he really can't accept himself being revealed. 

 

To date, he is still active in apps for quickie and lite fun. We are still friend. And I haven't poke the thin paper wall between us (Chinese saying). Personally, i would like to at least once get physical with him because i also a horny guy. But....

[singl]

Would like to have such friends also 😊

[Guest guest]

Yes it's possible. We try to meet up at least every quarter, but we always end up meeting perhaps every 2-3 weeks due to common activities.

 

Because there are four of us, our nicknames end up becoming Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. 

[Steve5380]

On 7/3/2022 at 11:58 AM, singalion said:

 

Being gay doesn't mean sexaddict... 

 

 

Many here won't agree with you...   

[Guest Ermmm]

I find it gross to have sexual thoughts about my close friends 

[Guest Curious]

4 hours ago, Guest Ermmm said:

I find it gross to have sexual thoughts about my close friends 

Say that to the large majority of sexual abusers who hit on their own family members and get reported in the press.

[doncoin]

3 hours ago, Guest Curious said:

Say that to the large majority of sexual abusers who hit on their own family members and get reported in the press.

 

 

You missed Ermmm's point. He said "close friends." Not family members. There is a distinction. 

 

 

 

 

[singalion]

Are We Really Really Able To Have Close Bros Without Any Sex?

 

 

 

Sure this is possible.

It just depends how you met.

It also happens that due to some miscommunication of lack of communication you dated but the guy has the same sexual role, but you just keep on meeting later on or develop to be good friends.

 

Other cases are those who exclusively search for non sex friends.

 

Lastly, it is often the case that you initially had fun, but after a while don't further engage in sex but keep in touch for social things, joint travels overseas, going clubs etc.