My boyfriend talked me into depositing my paychecks into his bank account, and paying for a car in his name. What can I do?

[Guest Tell Me!!]

So what can I do?

[CCK central]

8 minutes ago, Guest Tell Me!! said:

So what can I do?

Well are you really into this relationship? Only you can tell if he will remain loyal to you or not 

[doncoin]

Talk yourself into not doing it. If he can talk you in, you can talk you out.

 

Instead of just his bank account, suggest to him that you would be a lot more comfortable if it is a joint account with both your names in it. If he refuses, then it is non-negotiable. What you can do is have your pay check deposit into your account, then you withdraw from your account and put into the joint-account. I know it is more work, but it is to protect you in the event something goes wrong, and you can put a stop immediately to the funds into the account. 

 

With regards to car payment, ask that he gives you a receipt, or use one of those mobile payment apps for it to create the paper trail. Make sure each month on the receipt, it specifies that it is for car payment and make sure the license plate number is on it. Be detailed. 

 

In the event that the relationship fails, the receipts will provide you with better grounds to make claims against him. Granted no one force you into making the payments, but if you have receipts, with specific details for what it is for, it gives you rights to the car itself. It is like you are buying the car from him. 

Edited May 12, 2021 by doncoin

[CCK central]

2 minutes ago, doncoin said:

Talk yourself into not doing it. If he can talk you in, you can talk you out.

Agreed. Just to add on, depositing whole pay into boyfriend’s account is not healthy at all. It’s hard to retrieve losses also

[Boycurious]

erm, why must u put ur salary into someone else's name? it is super not wise because ultimately you still need a safety net to rely on. even if yall want to have a joint shared account, both of yall shld be putting like a partial amount only. what does he use that money for too? and if he go out with his own friend then he use that money to pay for his portion?

[Void1376]

Sounds like you're in an abusive relationship. Google "mental and emotional abuse".

[mate69]

Rule 1: Strictly NO sharing of finances or joint account please

Rule 2: Remember Rule 1

Edited May 12, 2021 by mate69

[doncoin]

 

6 minutes ago, mate69 said:

Rule 1: Strictly NO sharing of finances or joint account please

Rule 2: Remember Rule 1

 

 

I think joint-accounts are fine, as long as it is something you both agreed upon. It should not be your entire salary, but a portion you both set aside as a form of savings. My ex and I used to have a joint account where we each contribute a fixed amount of money. We will use it to go on vacations etc. 

[mith]

4 hours ago, doncoin said:

I think joint-accounts are fine, as long as it is something you both agreed upon. It should not be your entire salary, but a portion you both set aside as a form of savings. My ex and I used to have a joint account where we each contribute a fixed amount of money. We will use it to go on vacations etc. 

 

u mentioned your "ex"... is it ok to tell what happen after the broke up, esp how u settle the $ in the joint acct?

 

 

[MikeD]

Sounds like a scam, you gonna regret that if you have already done so, if you have not, DONT! 

[bigdanbeam]

You probably cant retrieve what you already given out but you can stop from now on. Next,  wise  up

[Guest Eugene]

8 hours ago, Guest Tell Me!! said:

So what can I do?

Don't act innocent and create such topic.   

 

Someone who can check around is not that dumb

If you know how to ask around here, you know how to ask real friends ........if I think your case is REAL 

 

[Guest Ha !]

9 hours ago, Guest Tell Me!! said:

So what can I do?

Does he also tell you to buy lots of life insurance and put him as the sole beneficiary? 

[Greenliv]

1 hour ago, Guest Eugene said:

Don't act innocent and create such topic.   

 

Someone who can check around is not that dumb

If you know how to ask around here, you know how to ask real friends ........if I think your case is REAL 

 

I concur. Do whatever you like. Being loved is priceless. And enjoy the moments. Everyone is a fool at one stage of their life. If one day, you wake up, just take it as a life lesson. No regrets, move on and continue living till kingdom comes.

[Guest Meghan the mermaid]

9 hours ago, Guest Tell Me!! said:

So what can I do?

If you love him, you should not worry. I have full control of my husband wealth too and he did it so willingly. I call that a true lovingly healthy relationship. 

[Greenliv]

Just now, Guest Ha ! said:

Does he also tell you to buy lots of life insurance and put him as the sole beneficiary? 

Conversely, you can get him to buy insurance on his life, pay for his premium and assign the policy to you.

 

If you live longer than him, you get to recoup your money through the insurance claim, and still get to enjoy the love he showers on you for "depositing your paychecks into his bank account, and paying for a car in his name".

 

if you don't outlive him, then you probably will not notice the problem because you will be enjoying yourself somewhere else.

[fab]

10 hours ago, Guest Tell Me!! said:

So what can I do?

 

Does he have a 7 inches hard hot rod?

[Greenliv]

12 minutes ago, fab said:

 

Does he have a 7 inches hard hot rod?

Lol, that's probably worth every cent spent on him, right?

[auscent]

I once went training course; bonded a year. I insisted parking a sum of my indemnity to my close fren who was guarantor. She refused until I reasoned just in case I get into any accidents. She accepted but give me back a post dated cheque.

 

Good ppl in your life dont bring uncertainties.

[Guest money burner]

My response would be:

 

Do you really need a car in Singapore?

 

I could afford one but I don't see why I should burn so much money for little benefit. 

 

The  "BMW strategy" is much healthier, bus - mrt - walk, in the long term. 

 

Cars are one of the biggest money wastes in Singapore with no real luxury in exchange! 

 

Think about it. 

 

[Guest inches by numbers]

1 hour ago, fab said:

 

Does he have a 7 inches hard hot rod?

u forgot: there always bigger ones...

[Guest Huh]

Deposit paycheck into someone’s account?

 

You real stupid or what?

[Greenliv]

1 minute ago, Guest Huh said:

Deposit paycheck into someone’s account?

 

You real stupid or what?

If the cheque is written such that the bearer is NOT striked  off, then only can the cheque be encashed by another person or banked into another account. 

 

And I doubt any companies or orgs will issue cheques with the bearer not striked off.

[doncoin]

14 hours ago, mith said:

 

u mentioned your "ex"... is it ok to tell what happen after the broke up, esp how u settle the $ in the joint acct?

 

 

 

 

We split the balance amount equally. 

[SazNura]

Just stop depositing and paying for the car for a few months, see if the truth will rear it ugly head.

Whatever you deposit , invest in a time deposit account.

Take it whatever is the past you have done as foolishness and lesson learnt

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Guest Meghan the mermaid said:

If you love him, you should not worry. I have full control of my husband wealth too and he did it so willingly. I call that a true lovingly healthy relationship. 

 

WHY do you have full control of your husband's wealth and he has none?

 

Where is the love and  the health?

[Ironrod]

Even Slaves doesn't do that for their masters unless it's completely owned. (given up all HUMAN RIGHTS TO ITS OWNER)

 

Please call a spade A SPADE. I can't tahan lies.

Edited May 13, 2021 by Ironrod

[Guest Meghan the mermaid]

21 minutes ago, Ironrod said:

Even Slaves doesn't do that for their masters unless it's completely owned. (given up all HUMAN RIGHTS TO ITS OWNER)

 

Please call a spade A SPADE. I can't tahan lies.

What do you mean about the spade?

[Lover]

Berter run away fast this idiot is gonna make u in debt n then banks look for u. Unless u donr want to leave he give u good s@x. Hahahahha both ways he is using u dude. Good luck ya 

[evianguy]

While pay cheque for shared payment of a car hire purchase? Srly? Run fast, run far. You're being conned. 

[PgChn]

I have a friend in US. They own and finance property and most living expenses together. They work out that their contribution to the mortgage and joint account will be proportionate to their incomes. So the one who earns more, contribute proportionally higher. The percentage gets adjusted when one party gets a pay raise. They do not share the rest of their savings. I feel it is fair arrangement.

Edited May 14, 2021 by PgChn

[Guest mad pheonix]

oops, I almost always face the dilemma every 5 years.

[Leanmeat]

What can u do??? Get him out of yr life before u regret it. Goodness

[blueblueblue]

don't be stupid

[Pubic01]

Oh no. Get out quick !! You know very well/clear he is after your resources. Otherwise you won’t have posted here seeking opinions .. 

 

Maybe you’re already very emotionally vested in this ‘relationship/transaction”. And you are still in denial phase. But .. the best way is end this and make sure you get your resources back !!

 

A true bf is one that pays his own home bills and car bills (not burden his dear) and still happily wants to drive you all around town with you. And be there especially during tough times. All I see here is him giving you tough times .. ermm you know the way forward lah .. 

 

Worst outcome imaginable to me is, he gets all your pay checks, and a car fully paid under his name, got himself a new bf, and say goodbye to you (because he has wrung you dry). 人才两空。Your brain will become 空空 also. 

Edited May 15, 2021 by Pubic01

[lightsmith32]

Makes more sense if he is looking for joint savings where each of you deposit a comfortable sum monthly ..

 

Same concept for the car if u guys live together ..

 

Hard to judge the intentions thru texts but just be careful and dont complain when a split happens ..

 

Eyes open pls

[fetish72]

It makes more sense joint account than u solely put your hard earn in his account.

 

What makes you trust him that he really love you and will not playing around behind your back.

 

I hear so much about joint account even normal couple can betray the wife spending the money as a person to have vehicle the tempting to gallivanting is very high even married men fuck or get fuck in the car.

 

I think is ok to have your own private account and for car if he wants it he get it let not base this love base on money material and status.

[camus]

Think of your future. The only thing worse than being single, old and gay is being single, old, POOR and gay. 

[Andrew240577]

No do not do it.

[bigboss]

now still using chq ?

[Guest LaLaLa]

My mother always say: 人家叫你去死,你就去死meh?

[rowers]

Talking about money in a relationship is always one of the hardest. It usually lead to disagreement and may escalate into heated arguments if we didn't set some ground rules about who's managing and paying what, whether one party is the only one paying or both party are sharing some sort of payment.

 

 

[Guest price tag]

1 hour ago, rowers said:

Talking about money in a relationship is always one of the hardest. It usually lead to disagreement and may escalate into heated arguments if we didn't set some ground rules about who's managing and paying what, whether one party is the only one paying or both party are sharing some sort of payment.

 

 

Just depends on the appreciation or value you place into your bf...

Compare the situation with being alone, mostly it helps. ha ha

 

In any relationship it is always a sort of give and take. You may always pay for the drinks and dinners but eventually you never clean the dishes or do the housework.

As long as there is no exploitation, always think of the total picture in a relationship. And don't start being too petty or stingy. Spend more time on the fun parts instead of lamenting on the money issues in the relationship. Your bf's smile doesn't carry a price tag, but without the smile and being alone you might feel worse.

 

 

[rowers]

22 hours ago, Guest price tag said:

Just depends on the appreciation or value you place into your bf...

Compare the situation with being alone, mostly it helps. ha ha

 

In any relationship it is always a sort of give and take. You may always pay for the drinks and dinners but eventually you never clean the dishes or do the housework.

As long as there is no exploitation, always think of the total picture in a relationship. And don't start being too petty or stingy. Spend more time on the fun parts instead of lamenting on the money issues in the relationship. Your bf's smile doesn't carry a price tag, but without the smile and being alone you might feel worse.

 

 

well said

[earth_tone]

-

Edited September 12, 2021 by earth_tone