Why are you alone?

[Guest Dumpty]

Why are you alone?

[Guest Humpty]

2 hours ago, Guest Dumpty said:

Why are you alone?

Let's start with you first.

[Guest Guest Dumpty]

Oh I fuzzy. And if u like those twink they are expensive  game which I can't afford. No money no honey. 

[Guest Talking Bees]

3 hours ago, Guest Guest Dumpty said:

Oh I fuzzy. And if u like those twink they are expensive  game which I can't afford. No money no honey. 

Go for the average Joe in your town then. They have plenty of honey to spare.

[auscent]

Because it is more fun!

[Guest Guest Humpty]

Average one cannot make me stand. No kick. Everyone have their own liking

[Guest Guest]

Because the rest expect me to be perfect in all ways while they are not 

[riverrobles]

Today I am alone, tomorrow I am not.

 

It is because I choose to, as someone who is exploring minimalism, it is a conscious effort from me to be alone. I am not being a recluse, I just do not want unnecessary drama and effort to maintain relationships with friends, maintenance of things I do not need and maintenance of too much info probably will not cary until I die.

 

Do be alone at times becuase you will also need to it to practice clarity and reflection . 

 

Also please do not equate being lonely with being alone. It is different. There is a thread for that topic already dear guest.

[fresh7up]

Bcos im choosy. Now not only left on the shelves but taken down from it due to expired. Lol

[mate69]

8 minutes ago, fresh7up said:

Bcos im choosy. Now not only left on the shelves but taken down from it due to expired. Lol

 

oh dear. what a depressing statement!

[Guest Guess]

On 8/8/2021 at 11:27 AM, Guest Guest said:

Because the rest expect me to be perfect in all ways while they are not 

How true. Even those ugly ones. 😝

[Guest guest]

15 hours ago, fresh7up said:

Bcos im choosy. Now not only left on the shelves but taken down from it due to expired. Lol

Being alone is ok and even you are attached, you might be ended up alone eventually. So learn to able to survive being alone.

[doncoin]

IN the words of the belated Whitney Houston, "I'd rather be alone than unhappy..."

 

[AskMeNot]

Because people's expectations on others can be quite high these days because their own life is dull, boring and purposeless?

[singalion]

The question is a bit broad.

 

Does it ask why you are alone and don't have any bf?

 

The being alone might be linked to the housing rules here.

It would have been a better question to that one Minister to ask if the HDB rules will change for gays...

The income ceiling seems probably the biggest challenge for most to buy as a single above 35y.

 

 

[singalion]

13 hours ago, doncoin said:

IN the words of the belated Whitney Houston, "I'd rather be alone than unhappy..."

 

 

Yes, but the end is sad... I just mention bathtub...

 

maybe better not to be lonely...

[singalion]

Guys should not stay alone.

 

at least get a bunch of good gay friends. this is important for aging also.

Find some common interests other than sex with a bunch of friends or create a group of friends.

 

At least you have some people to spend your free time and leisure or do some overseas travel or any other things that are better to be done not alone.

 

I met many guys who seem very lonely , alone in Singapore.

Yes, you might have your family members around you, but health wise and in particular for mental health, have some good friends on hand to spend leisure.

The amount of friends will decline with time naturally (not by death) but due to disputes, someone taking a job overseas, immigrating to another country etc.

 

 

[Guest Kiss my ass?]

6 hours ago, singalion said:

Does it ask why you are alone and don't have any bf?

 

You might find the answer here useful

 

[Guest Guest]

8 hours ago, singalion said:

The question is a bit broad.

 

Does it ask why you are alone and don't have any bf?

 

The being alone might be linked to the housing rules here.

It would have been a better question to that one Minister to ask if the HDB rules will change for gays...

The income ceiling seems probably the biggest challenge for most to buy as a single above 35y.

 

 

What you mean by income ceiling seems probably the biggest challenge to buy as single?

[Guest Guest]

8 hours ago, singalion said:

Guys should not stay alone.

 

at least get a bunch of good gay friends. this is important for aging also.

Find some common interests other than sex with a bunch of friends or create a group of friends.

 

At least you have some people to spend your free time and leisure or do some overseas travel or any other things that are better to be done not alone.

 

I met many guys who seem very lonely , alone in Singapore.

Yes, you might have your family members around you, but health wise and in particular for mental health, have some good friends on hand to spend leisure.

The amount of friends will decline with time naturally (not by death) but due to disputes, someone taking a job overseas, immigrating to another country etc.

 

 

Seems like whether gay or straight guys, notice that guys like to be alone and seen to be alone. Unlike woman who seldom seen to be alone. 

[Guest Guest]

21 hours ago, doncoin said:

IN the words of the belated Whitney Houston, "I'd rather be alone than unhappy..."

 

True, never get attached just because a person is scare of being alone or even scare of being lonely.

[Steve5380]

On 2/4/2024 at 5:01 PM, fresh7up said:

Bcos im choosy. Now not only left on the shelves but taken down from it due to expired. Lol

 

On 2/4/2024 at 5:16 PM, Guest Guess said:

How true. Even those ugly ones. 😝

 

Oh, c'mon guys!!   We humans should be shelved together with other non-perishable items!   The reasons to live with someone else is not only to FUCK him or her!

 

I am now living alone for several years.  But I have lived with others for many, many years,  and I don't have problems with either.  I think the solution is to accept either condition without putting blame on ourselves or others.  It is CIRCUMSTANTIAL, we should adapt to it, and both states have their benefits.

 

I have an older sister who is soon coming to live with me.  So SEX is not the attraction for this.  But I look forward to this because she is good company, good remembrance from our common childhood, and she is smart and easy going.  

 

What I find attractive in living alone for long times?   The possibility of living more efficiently, more focus on what I want to do, as opposed to sharing my time with other obligations introduced by other persons.  

.

 

 

Edited February 6, 2024 by Steve5380

[Guest Guess]

Hear hear

 

Depends whether one is into group grope (sociable) or if one is a masturbator (into solitude)

[Guest Let's be real]

8 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I have an older sister who is soon coming to live with me. 

 

 

You have been saying this for years.  You are just not ready. 

[Guest Joker]

We are born into this world alone.

We shit alone. 

We shower alone.

We study alone.

We heal alone.

There is no need to be with others.

Most people spend their whole life alone until society introduced the concept of marriage.

 

Priest, nuns etc they are alone...

So not sure why society glamorized the concept of marriage.

 

AH yes, the family unit. The social construct used by government to build a society by focusing on the family.

The good thing about people who are alone is that they can get by anything alone.

 

People who need to be with someone, cant. Period.

[horhorfun]

12 minutes ago, Guest Joker said:

We are born into this world alone.

We shit alone. 

We shower alone.

We study alone.

We heal alone.

There is no need to be with others.

Most people spend their whole life alone until society introduced the concept of marriage.

 

Priest, nuns etc they are alone...

So not sure why society glamorized the concept of marriage.

 

AH yes, the family unit. The social construct used by government to build a society by focusing on the family.

The good thing about people who are alone is that they can get by anything alone.

 

People who need to be with someone, cant. Period.

And also die alone.

[Steve5380]

Our time in this life inevitably passes.  It should be our goal to make the best out of it.   What is it that we make out if it?  Experiences.

 

We can have plenty of good experiences being alone.  But we miss out on many good experiences from being social, together with other people. 

 

It is worth to make the effort to overcome our shyness, social incompetence,  and learn to be comfortable with other people. This is an acquired skill.  IT IS THEN that we should choose solitude or gregariousness,  knowing the benefits of either, being competent with either,  AND NOT  having to be solitary because we don't know how to deal with people, or having to be with people because we feel empty being solitary.  And so, we can successfully adapt to either lifestyle depending on our circumstances, which are not always under our control.

[Guest Guess]

Depending on one's social needs.

 

Some cannot tolerate the idea of being alone. Because in Spore, loners are seen as bad or socially undesirable. Spore has a culture of conformity or belonging to a group. Loners are viewed as oddballs. Especially if you take business and management courses, where you have to do group projects. You watch SURVIVOR? It's something like that. 

 

I mean you are most welcome to enjoy the toxic competitiveness of many Singaporeans. BW has had many examples. 

 

In this instant, solitude is a better option. Because being with people who bring you down, don't want to see you get ahead, isn't going to bring you joy, ain't it?

 

It is also wise to pick your social circle carefully. You don't want to be involved with certain people. Bad company corrupts good character.

 

And this thing about social skills. Making conversations in Spore is difficult. Without others parties snapping at you or giving sarcastic replies. As some hawkers said, they have no time to be nice to people. But they have time and effort to be nasty.

 

I give you an example of an Asian celebrity. During an interview with a reporter, she remarked some are socially inept. Then the reporter asked her if she was travelling to a certain place and if he could hitch a ride. The so sociable celeb snapped :"It gets both of us home!" 

 

Considering that the reporter was going to put her on the cover of a reputable magazine, that bitch could have been more gracious. Who's being socially inept here? 

[Leanmeat]

Actually not just gay. Lately had a gathering w my straight guy friends who are all single, and, they look so 'left on the shelf' with no attempt to make themselves look better. I mean..ok I know gays tend to groom themselves better, but with that 'cannot be bother to look better' attitude how not to be alone? Unless you v rich such that the wealth alone will bring women to you. 

Edited February 11, 2024 by Leanmeat

[Firday]

Just watch all of us stranger film - the two actor and director really able to let u feel lonely and also realize the loneliness of everyone who desperately seeking connection but rejection due to fear of sudden approaching.

 

after watching i decide to adjust this 2024 years  to be more proactive to be more social able so i knock my Neighbour door to wish him - happy new year. He was taken aback but he really needs my hug viciously. I offer him a bottle red wine from recently purchased from ntuc.

 

then i went to another Neighbour who have enter IMH due to personal issue - he refuse to open door so can't do much. He text in wee hour to apologies. I try to have a meal with him soon.

 

Karma retribution - a surprise visit from ex who bought home cook meal from his sister maid - they think of me so ask him to taobao for me. We have a can of Guinses stout and laugh about our old self those stupidity manner. It was a great afternoon - simple and nostalgic to me,

 

ps: thank you for remembering me again - our time wasn't a waste affair although our passion surpasses us. Now just like a family or a brother to us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

[yogateacher]

On 2/7/2024 at 1:22 PM, horhorfun said:

And also die alone.

Agree.

I'm single because we came to this world alone, and we will leave this world alone.

No other reasons.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, yogateacher said:

Agree.

I'm single because we came to this world alone, and we will leave this world alone.

No other reasons.

 

Hmmm...   are you sure?  We cried when we came to this world,  and we or others cry when we leave it.   Should we cry all the time during our life?

 

Could you teach yoga if you were alone all the time?

[fresh7up]

15 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Hmmm...   are you sure?  We cried when we came to this world,  and we or others cry when we leave it.   Should we cry all the time during our life?

 

Could you teach yoga if you were alone all the time?

He could be living alone and teach yoga via zoom.

[AskMeNot]

On 2/11/2024 at 10:05 AM, Firday said:

Just watch all of us stranger film - the two actor and director really able to let u feel lonely and also realize the loneliness of everyone who desperately seeking connection but rejection due to fear of sudden approaching.

 

after watching i decide to adjust this 2024 years  to be more proactive to be more social able so i knock my Neighbour door to wish him - happy new year. He was taken aback but he really needs my hug viciously. I offer him a bottle red wine from recently purchased from ntuc.

 

then i went to another Neighbour who have enter IMH due to personal issue - he refuse to open door so can't do much. He text in wee hour to apologies. I try to have a meal with him soon.

 

Karma retribution - a surprise visit from ex who bought home cook meal from his sister maid - they think of me so ask him to taobao for me. We have a can of Guinses stout and laugh about our old self those stupidity manner. It was a great afternoon - simple and nostalgic to me,

 

ps: thank you for remembering me again - our time wasn't a waste affair although our passion surpasses us. Now just like a family or a brother to us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

Interesting how a show is able to inspire you so much. Where did you watch it?

[TLC]

 

If one was content with oneself, and enjoyed own company ... one was never alone.

 

 

[single]

Someone said before, we will all end up being alone in the end days. So we need to practise being alone.

 

I did not purposely choose to be alone. But somehow ended up being alone.

 

Must be the choices I made and also the experiences I had. Or maybe I simply really prefer to be alone.

 

Maybe it look sad to others around me, but then I remembered...

 

"I can buy myself flowers (or the new iPhone)
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours (creepy, I know) 
Say things you don't understand (creepy too)
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can"

 

Or something like this below...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B60RaGyk_c

 

 

Edited February 13, 2024 by single

[funky beaver]

I wonder if there is difference between extrovert and introvert in thinking about why they are alone. For me as an introvert, I do seldom think about why am I alone. 

[egal]

On 2/11/2024 at 11:41 AM, yogateacher said:

Agree.

I'm single because we came to this world alone, and we will leave this world alone.

No other reasons.

nice

[Steve5380]

On 2/13/2024 at 8:04 AM, funky beaver said:

I wonder if there is difference between extrovert and introvert in thinking about why they are alone. For me as an introvert, I do seldom think about why am I alone. 

 

Very possible.  An extrovert being alone may feel like a victim.  While we intro/extroverts feel that to be alone is very natural and satisfying.  I wrote intro/extrovert because I think that the best is to be both,  depending on the circumstances.  

 

On 2/13/2024 at 4:52 AM, single said:

Someone said before, we will all end up being alone in the end days. So we need to practise being alone.

 

I did not purposely choose to be alone. But somehow ended up being alone.

 

Must be the choices I made and also the experiences I had. Or maybe I simply really prefer to be alone.

 

Maybe it look sad to others around me, but then I remembered...

 

"I can buy myself flowers (or the new iPhone)
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours (creepy, I know) 
Say things you don't understand (creepy too)
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can"

 

Or something like this below...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B60RaGyk_c

 

 

So many of our actions are not really "choices", but are circumstantial, including some randomness in the genes we are born with. 

 

When we understand this,  we stop hitting ourselves over our head because we are / are not this and that.  Total wise, calm acceptance. Freedom from guilt or victimization. This does not preclude making efforts to change what we want to change,  while accepting that what we cannot change.  This includes rejection of the idea of "free will", invented by some religions to make us sinners.

 

So you don't choose to be alone.  Hopefully one day you don't choose to fall in love for someone, and end up living with another person.  Good luck!

[Steve5380]

On 2/10/2024 at 11:10 PM, fresh7up said:

He could be living alone and teach yoga via zoom.

 

Isn't the purpose to teach yoga to do it in person and come in contact with some cute, nice exposed bodies?

[Guest Guest]

3 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Isn't the purpose to teach yoga to do it in person and come in contact with some cute, nice exposed bodies?

 

No, that is not the purpose. 

 

This just goes to show that the older you are, the lonelier you get, and the more perverse you become. 

[Steve5380]

53 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

No, that is not the purpose. 

 

This just goes to show that the older you are, the lonelier you get, and the more perverse you become. 

 

But not as perverse as you and your posting intended to bash older people who are happy and humorous...

[fresh7up]

I'm alone now not by choice. Wanted to buy a 4-room BTO with my parents but my dad disagree and ask me to get my own place.

Fast forward 7-8 years now I have a 2-room BTO to call my own. But I do still go back and forth to stay at my parents' and my own place.

[repressednerd]

I think I enjoyed my time being in relationships. I'm rediscovering myself through books, alcohol and dancing at circuit parties (which I never got to enjoy much in my younger days), and of course satisfying basic sexual needs at the sauna.

Edited February 16, 2024 by repressednerd

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, repressednerd said:

I think I enjoyed my time being in relationships. I'm rediscovering myself through books, alcohol and dancing at circuit parties (which I never got to enjoy much in my younger days), and of course satisfying basic sexual needs at the sauna.

 

Sounds good.  But,  how you rediscover yourself through alcohol?  You analyze yourself under Delirium Tremens?  This is not healthy, withdraw slowly please!

 

If you eat well and maintain a healthy metabolism,  your liver may be strong enough to survive the alcohol.  Today, fatty liver is more deadly than alcohol...