Confession #5: New to the gay scene. Self-exploration.

[BlinkOnce]

"I never feel confident about my own look and body. I look way younger than my age and I don’t have a very masculine look (quite thin but still chubby and dont have a lot of body hairs). I am in my late 20s but I look like a late teen. I never have any relationship and I am a virgin. I do masturbate but I mostly imagine to be a manlier version of myself. I’m kinda confused. I don’t really know my preference. One day I came across to search about gay sauna. I was just being curious and led me to BW. My didi stood up when I read most of the threads here. I feel I might be one but I dont really know how to navigate myself. I am so late to the scene. I dont really know how to start as a beginner."

 

- Just take your time to explore the wonder of the gay world... haha... Make sure to only make friends and meet with nice people who make you feel comfortable and feel good about yourself, they will teach you the ways of the gay world. Have a great time 😁

_BlinkOnce_

[30yochinese]

On 8/8/2021 at 2:11 PM, BlinkOnce said:

"I never feel confident about my own look and body. I look way younger than my age and I don’t have a very masculine look (quite thin but still chubby and dont have a lot of body hairs). I am in my late 20s but I look like a late teen. I never have any relationship and I am a virgin. I do masturbate but I mostly imagine to be a manlier version of myself. I’m kinda confused. I don’t really know my preference. One day I came across to search about gay sauna. I was just being curious and led me to BW. My didi stood up when I read most of the threads here. I feel I might be one but I dont really know how to navigate myself. I am so late to the scene. I dont really know how to start as a beginner."

 

- Just take your time to explore the wonder of the gay world... haha... Make sure to only make friends and meet with nice people who make you feel comfortable and feel good about yourself, they will teach you the ways of the gay world. Have a great time 😁

_BlinkOnce_

Hi there,

i am trying to guess how old u are, but nvm. Here's my sharing, just 3 points, hope u find it useful, esp since i am 10years ur senior:

      

    

(1)

"I never feel confident about my own look and body." -me too! what helped? alot of guys, mostly strangers, would say nice things to me, mainly on how i look, some say: "U have nice eye lashes"...

some say: "U have gd skin"... U have to learn to accept ur good points, & feel confident about urself! So if next time, someone close to u, like ur Parent, gives u a compliment... maybe u can go into ur room & do some self-talk with a mirror & reaffirm urself that u are special & unique, & someone has just gave u a compliment to affirm that.

    

     

(2)

"I look way younger than my age and I don’t have a very masculine look (quite thin but still chubby and dont have a lot of body hairs). -me too! i am not saying this to make u happy, this is really a coincidence coz many guys all think i am still in N.U.S.... 

  

  

my 2nd point:

today a mature man rejected me on BlowingWind. he replied: "Not my type".

    

Firstly, its not ur fault u don't have a masculine look. Everytime i share my face pic to a stranger i worry... Will he think i am feminine or stocky & then reject me? So remember the Mature Man who rejected me?

       

now i don't care what pple think of me...  coz this is who i am... if u can't accept me then please F*** off. 

  

   

(3)

Lastly,

never compare yourself to what-u-see or what-u-want. I too, was a virgin in my 20s, i couldn't have sex coz my dick can't get erect to penetrate... but one day... My dick was no longer out-of-order, & at age 35yo, i had my first anal sex. am i jealous? U bet i am! but here's the hard part... accepting that ur past was not as smooth as ur peers... & letting it go. Once i let go of the pain of not having a dick which can penetrate for so many years... then i started treasuring my present ability & be grateful i was not a virgin at 35yo. 

 

hugs & thx for opening up,

i am proof,

if u practice good self-care, U don't have to worry wishing u were manlier... or sad U are late to the scene... coz i have a feeling u mite get laid before turning 35yo... sorry, bad joke, anyway, take care of urself & don't feel bad u are a beginner... by writing this... U have taken the 1st step to learn more, by asking... & U will naturally grow🌱🌿🪴, J

    

      

Edited August 8, 2021 by 30yochinese
.

[NSA chinese]

On 8/8/2021 at 2:11 PM, BlinkOnce said:

"I never feel confident about my own look and body. I look way younger than my age and I don’t have a very masculine look (quite thin but still chubby and dont have a lot of body hairs). I am in my late 20s but I look like a late teen. I never have any relationship and I am a virgin. I do masturbate but I mostly imagine to be a manlier version of myself. I’m kinda confused. I don’t really know my preference. One day I came across to search about gay sauna. I was just being curious and led me to BW. My didi stood up when I read most of the threads here. I feel I might be one but I dont really know how to navigate myself. I am so late to the scene. I dont really know how to start as a beginner."

 

- Just take your time to explore the wonder of the gay world... haha... Make sure to only make friends and meet with nice people who make you feel comfortable and feel good about yourself, they will teach you the ways of the gay world. Have a great time 😁

_BlinkOnce_

I agree you should not take the plunge without prep work and that means reading up about relationship or sex stuff. This is to help manage your own expectations. 
 

I agree that there will be lots of setbacks in this circle if you want to find the one but you of all people have to know what you really want. No one can do that for you. 
 

But please also don’t waste time researching stuff without taking action or chasing after unrealistic goals because more often than not, you may eventually realize you are just chasing after a faraway dream that will not materialize. When you know what you want, set your target and chart out the course of action to achieve that. Be proactive too and not just wait for things to happen. If you just wait there doing nothing, you may hit your 30s and 40s without achieving the outcome you want. 
 

All the best!