Can Gay people actually find happiness in marriage with female?

[HolyBun]

I knew I like guy when I'm in highschool and starting to realised I'm actually gay and been closeted ever since. But at that point of time, I have never think of the possibilities in getting marriage.

 

And now I'm almost 30, I'm starting to get worried and scared, as my friends one by one getting marry. My family, uncles, aunties keep asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend and marry. This has made me stressed out and thinks a lots like what happened when I'm old and there's no one beside me? 

 

I want and tried to get a gf by using dating apps, but I have never dated girls before and it makes me think if I get a gf, can we actually be happy or rather can I be happy? can I really love her or I'm just being selfish using a girl as an escape route for being gay? At the same time, I'm really scared to be alone when I'm at old age. These have causes me insomnia for past weeks.

 

What can I do or how to deal with all these emotions? 

[Neh Neh]

Get a bf to settle down and get an adopt son (干儿子).

[single42]

1. go online, rent a gf to attend family event to avoid being interrogated by family & relatives. 

 

2. Come on out to your family.. walk away from all family events & family gatherings.. 

 

3. find a bf & settle down

 

ok.. who's next??!!! are all guys in the rainbow community has no idea how to live their own lives and must ask around on such.. simple, mundane, superficial questions..???

[Guest Depressed]

There is no hope and future for gays in Singapore. 

 

So go ahead find a girl. Destroy her chance at one true love. Live a lie for awhile. Raise kids because when married for awhile and no children, people will suspect. Bring more lives into this lies of yours in search of some sort or normalcy and happiness. 

 

Then when you're old and miserable and look back at the next generation youth living their truths. And you begin to wonder why wasn't you given the same freedom, you then destroy your marriage, the girl whom you lied to, the children who turned adults who you lied to. 

 

Because surely, it gets easier to come out at old age when you're no value in gay currency than it is to live your life right here right now with warts and all. 

 

Happiness is what you fight for. The gahmen won't let you have a normal life. Won't let you buy hdb. 

 

You gotta find that special someone to fight this oppression. Walk this lonely road together. We are all really alone going through life together. 

[Guest Sistas]

A marriage of convenience between 2 sistas. Maybe.

[mate69]

OMG this so-called dilemma is really more prevalent than what I thought eh

[Pubic01]

On 12/6/2021 at 12:41 AM, HolyBun said:

or I'm just being selfish using a girl as an escape route for being gay?

You already know the answer what ! This sort of thing got heavy karma der .. be nice la .. she also only got one life, just like you. Live life, not Lie.

[auscent]

Just imagine

: if next month, ure courted by charming man u first got to know socially. You click, then surprise surprise he ask u go out alone. Many times..but the truth is he was straight. He couldnt find some one more obliging to accompany him. How would u feel?

 

: also, do opinions of these relatives matter that much to you?

[Neh Neh]

On 12/6/2021 at 4:03 AM, Guest Depressed said:

There is no hope and future for gays in Singapore. 

 

So go ahead find a girl. Destroy her chance at one true love. Live a lie for awhile. Raise kids because when married for awhile and no children, people will suspect. Bring more lives into this lies of yours in search of some sort or normalcy and happiness. 

 

Then when you're old and miserable and look back at the next generation youth living their truths. And you begin to wonder why wasn't you given the same freedom, you then destroy your marriage, the girl whom you lied to, the children who turned adults who you lied to. 

 

Because surely, it gets easier to come out at old age when you're no value in gay currency than it is to live your life right here right now with warts and all. 

 

Happiness is what you fight for. The gahmen won't let you have a normal life. Won't let you buy hdb. 

 

You gotta find that special someone to fight this oppression. Walk this lonely road together. We are all really alone going through life together. 

Single singaporean can buy any resale HDB 3, 4, 5 rooms and executive flat. 2 single singaporeans can jointly buy a resale HDB any type too.

[And then]

IF the main reason to find a girl is so that you won't be alone in old age, then please please please think again.

It is far from guaranteed.

You may get divorced. You may not have children. Children may not want you.

 

Will you be happy?

I guess that will depend on how strong your need for a man is (emotionally and physically). 

Someone with a low sex drive may not feel they are missing out on much.

[fab]

https://www.singstat.gov.sg/find-data/search-by-theme/population/marital-status-marriages-and-divorces/latest-data

 

Don't be so selfish to ruin another person s life.

[Dart]

On 12/6/2021 at 12:41 AM, HolyBun said:

I knew I like guy when I'm in highschool and starting to realised I'm actually gay and been closeted ever since. But at that point of time, I have never think of the possibilities in getting marriage.

 

And now I'm almost 30, I'm starting to get worried and scared, as my friends one by one getting marry. My family, uncles, aunties keep asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend and marry. This has made me stressed out and thinks a lots like what happened when I'm old and there's no one beside me? 

 

I want and tried to get a gf by using dating apps, but I have never dated girls before and it makes me think if I get a gf, can we actually be happy or rather can I be happy? can I really love her or I'm just being selfish using a girl as an escape route for being gay? At the same time, I'm really scared to be alone when I'm at old age. These have causes me insomnia for past weeks.

 

What can I do or how to deal with all these emotions? 

 

A girl cannot fulfill the needs of a gay man. Our lives are for us to lead because eventually we are responsible for our own decisions. Moreover, in this case an innocent party is involved.

[singalion]

On 12/6/2021 at 12:41 AM, HolyBun said:

I knew I like guy when I'm in highschool and starting to realised I'm actually gay and been closeted ever since. But at that point of time, I have never think of the possibilities in getting marriage.

 

And now I'm almost 30, I'm starting to get worried and scared, as my friends one by one getting marry. My family, uncles, aunties keep asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend and marry. This has made me stressed out and thinks a lots like what happened when I'm old and there's no one beside me? 

 

I want and tried to get a gf by using dating apps, but I have never dated girls before and it makes me think if I get a gf, can we actually be happy or rather can I be happy? can I really love her or I'm just being selfish using a girl as an escape route for being gay? At the same time, I'm really scared to be alone when I'm at old age. These have causes me insomnia for past weeks.

 

What can I do or how to deal with all these emotions? 

 

You sound to me like you never had any real sex experience with a guy. 

 

Because:

Who, being gay nowadays in Singapore would still marry a girl to cover up his homosexuality? 

 

And who at the age of 30 years would go to straight dating apps to find a girl to marry just to comfort his parents? 

 

Can you please make a honest effort to find out whether you are truly gay or not. 

 

You can't continue like this. 

 

And if you're gay, start accepting yourself as you are and start living your own life...

 

 

[Steve5380]

On 12/5/2021 at 10:41 AM, HolyBun said:

I knew I like guy when I'm in highschool and starting to realised I'm actually gay and been closeted ever since. But at that point of time, I have never think of the possibilities in getting marriage.

 

And now I'm almost 30, I'm starting to get worried and scared, as my friends one by one getting marry. My family, uncles, aunties keep asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend and marry. This has made me stressed out and thinks a lots like what happened when I'm old and there's no one beside me? 

 

I want and tried to get a gf by using dating apps, but I have never dated girls before and it makes me think if I get a gf, can we actually be happy or rather can I be happy? can I really love her or I'm just being selfish using a girl as an escape route for being gay? At the same time, I'm really scared to be alone when I'm at old age. These have causes me insomnia for past weeks.

 

What can I do or how to deal with all these emotions? 

 

My answer is YES.

 

I was 35 when I got married to her,  and it was she who seduced me.  I was not desperate to marry, not to please my family or apparent what I am not.  I was immersed in the world of my career and not paying much attention to relationships.  She was very pretty, and I was not so sure if I could not be straight if I tried it.   And so it happened.  We lived happily for 10 years, had children, I became a father and "head of the family".   And it was her who wanted to change her life, leave the big city and live in the country, something that never appealed to me.  And we had other differences. So we separated amicably, 

[superflawless]

No, please do not do it. If you are a 100% gay, please do not ruin the lives of the innocent female by marrying them. 

 

[singalion]

On 12/7/2021 at 7:13 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

My answer is YES.

 

I was 35 when I got married to her,  and it was she who seduced me.  I was not desperate to marry, not to please my family or apparent what I am not.  I was immersed in the world of my career and not paying much attention to relationships.  She was very pretty, and I was not so sure if I could not be straight if I tried it.   And so it happened.  We lived happily for 10 years, had children, I became a father and "head of the family".   And it was her who wanted to change her life, leave the big city and live in the country, something that never appealed to me.  And we had other differences. So we separated amicably, 

 

The question(s) to me would be:

 

a) Before the marriage did you have sexual encounters with other men?

b) Were you aware that you are sexually aroused by men prior to getting married?

c) Did you see any clues that you might be sexually attracted to men?

d) During the marriage did you engage in sex with men?

e) Did you marry, because you thought it is normal and did not bother about any sexual desire for men?

 

We should not forget that during "those times" (I know it sounds funny), gay was not openly discussed, visible and available.

Depending on your upbringing you never had any urge to try sex with men and getting married was just a norm or expectation for men.

 

Strangely, in Singapore I met many gay men who started off their sexual experience with girls and got into marriages and later discovered they are not

straight at all. (I would not even call them bisexual). It was only at a later stage that they allowed to go ahead, some divorced, some just separated (because of children) etc...

One guy of a group of expats friends, with whom I met with other expats regularly on weekends and other occasions, who was married, divorced in his early 30s and changed his life while in Singapore. [I don't say Singapore is the trigger].

But it is linked to norms and societal values, expectations.

He was the typical guy grown up in a small village in Europe, married when 24 and did not explore his sexuality or potential sexual orientation.

 

However, for anyone who knows he is gay, who isn't even uncertain, I don't recommend to marry. Troubles will come sooner or later.

Many women take it personally when their husbands turn gay or have been gay.

Who wants to live a double life of secrets and in hiding and every day's danger for being caught and then publicly shamed or made to a victim of revenge due to hurt feelings.

 

Be frank to yourself, being married to a girl is probably not your life.

And grow up to be independent, take your own decisions and do what is best for you.

 

 

 

 

[fab]

Ask Ben.

[Steve5380]

On 12/6/2021 at 11:34 PM, singalion said:

 

The question(s) to me would be:

 

a) Before the marriage did you have sexual encounters with other men?

b) Were you aware that you are sexually aroused by men prior to getting married?

c) Did you see any clues that you might be sexually attracted to men?

d) During the marriage did you engage in sex with men?

e) Did you marry, because you thought it is normal and did not bother about any sexual desire for men?

 

We should not forget that during "those times" (I know it sounds funny), gay was not openly discussed, visible and available.

Depending on your upbringing you never had any urge to try sex with men and getting married was just a norm or expectation for men.

 

Strangely, in Singapore I met many gay men who started off their sexual experience with girls and got into marriages and later discovered they are not

straight at all. (I would not even call them bisexual). It was only at a later stage that they allowed to go ahead, some divorced, some just separated (because of children) etc...

One guy of a group of expats friends, with whom I met with other expats regularly on weekends and other occasions, who was married, divorced in his early 30s and changed his life while in Singapore. [I don't say Singapore is the trigger].

But it is linked to norms and societal values, expectations.

He was the typical guy grown up in a small village in Europe, married when 24 and did not explore his sexuality or potential sexual orientation.

 

However, for anyone who knows he is gay, who isn't even uncertain, I don't recommend to marry. Troubles will come sooner or later.

Many women take it personally when their husbands turn gay or have been gay.

Who wants to live a double life of secrets and in hiding and every day's danger for being caught and then publicly shamed or made to a victim of revenge due to hurt feelings.

 

Be frank to yourself, being married to a girl is probably not your life.

And grow up to be independent, take your own decisions and do what is best for you.

 

 

I looked at the topic of this thread, and it does NOT say "gays should marry women",  but instead "can gays find happiness married to a woman",  and my personal experience is YES, we can.  I stopped short of making any recommendations.

 

So your long questioner does not apply, and it is not necessary.  You yourself have found cases like mine.  Some of us have desires but don't act on them.  We are also not obese. Thinking back...  I had never been around girls my age, going always to segregated religious schools and then following a career which women rarely followed. 

[HolyBun]

On 12/6/2021 at 2:28 AM, single42 said:

1. go online, rent a gf to attend family event to avoid being interrogated by family & relatives. 

 

2. Come on out to your family.. walk away from all family events & family gatherings.. 

 

3. find a bf & settle down

 

ok.. who's next??!!! are all guys in the rainbow community has no idea how to live their own lives and must ask around on such.. simple, mundane, superficial questions..???

First of all, sorry if my questions is simple, mundane and superficial to you. Sometime things seem simple to you but doesn't mean it's simple to others. If everything is as simple, mundane and superficial as you said, the world will be free of anxiety and depression no?

 

Why would some people against LGBT when the answer is as SIMPLE as "they are born that way"?

 

Isnt it MUNDANE that they can't accept LGBT, don't they have better things to do?

 

Isnt it SUPERFICIAL when they do not know nor understand anything about LGBT or what they've been through and to judge them without knowing them?

 

I do not mind and will accept if your answer or opinion is harsh or rude, just do not belittle other people problems with your "simple, mundane, superficial questions".

 

I know I'm running away from my sexuality, that's why I'm reaching out. The reasons I asked these question is just that I want some answers and opinion, simple as that.

Edited December 7, 2021 by HolyBun

[mate69]

As a husband, one of your key marital duties is to please your spouse...fulfil his/her sexual needs/wants.

If you are gay and you marry a woman, how are you going to fulfil this key need/requirement?

It's next to impossible and doomed to fail.

[GachiMuchi]

I have a married friend who did not explore his gayness until many years later after he was married. He was able to be happily married and be a good father. Once he started exploring his gayness, his headache starts. Anyway, years later, he was still able to maintain his family as his wife was not demanding and still able to have some fun with men in the sauna. I've always warned him to be careful and not to throw caution into the air because if he is not careful, he might be found out and his whole perfect world might collapse.

 

Gays have the misconception to just play the deception card and go through a scam marriage and that everything will fall into place. They fail to think that they are marrying another person who can think and not everything will work as you had thought. Beside marrying the wife, you are marrying to another family, and the wife's relatives, colleagues, etc.

 

Unless you are a damn good liar, and actor, otherwise, there will one day that your ACT will be called out and then you will face the wrath of your family, your relatives, friends, colleagues, and her family, relatives, friends, colleagues, ...etc. you do your math.

 

You need to think really hard, if it is worth the effort to go through the charade of a marriage just to cover your gayness.

 

Life is short, don't make your life complicated. Live your life to your fullest with no regrets!

[cityhallguy]

One of the reasons for me to come out of my families and close friends is I don’t want to live my life with lies! Of course, not everyone like me, so if you ok and have already adapting to live your life with lies then continue to do so.
 

Living life with lies are very tortured and can be harder each day. You have already experienced it as you mentioned people asking you why you not married or have a gf. You have to come out with excuses or maybe lying to avoid telling them the truth. However, as your grow older each day, those lies and excuses will wear out and you have to make new excuses or new lies. Aren’t you tired? Yes of course you are thats why you are finding a solution to resolve your problem but again you chose to find another lie to cover your old lies, and this time you plan to drag another person to live with your lies. 
 

Hey bro, one day people will know your true color and of course your secret identity might not be discovered by them if you continue to work harder on lying and cover up. Unlike me, I can’t live this kind of life. I like to enjoy my life freely and without worry. So I work my way out to make sure I’m financially independent, then I started to open out to friends and families. Of course, I consider myself fortunate that my immediate families accept who am I. Even if they don’t, I have the financial and have the capability to move out to live on my own. But my parents are still quite conservative and told me not to let other relatives know. So I told them not to worry as I just don’t see them or meeting them and I no need to lie again. Now I have move out of SG, to a place where I can openly tell people that I am gay and I have a male partner. Is way better than previously work in SG has to keep myself low profile to prevent myself targeted by any anti- LGBTQI people in my workplace. 

Edited December 7, 2021 by cityhallguy

[Steve5380]

On 12/7/2021 at 12:40 PM, GachiMuchi said:

I have a married friend who did not explore his gayness until many years later after he was married. He was able to be happily married and be a good father. Once he started exploring his gayness, his headache starts. Anyway, years later, he was still able to maintain his family as his wife was not demanding and still able to have some fun with men in the sauna. I've always warned him to be careful and not to throw caution into the air because if he is not careful, he might be found out and his whole perfect world might collapse.

 

Gays have the misconception to just play the deception card and go through a scam marriage and that everything will fall into place. They fail to think that they are marrying another person who can think and not everything will work as you had thought. Beside marrying the wife, you are marrying to another family, and the wife's relatives, colleagues, etc.

 

Unless you are a damn good liar, and actor, otherwise, there will one day that your ACT will be called out and then you will face the wrath of your family, your relatives, friends, colleagues, and her family, relatives, friends, colleagues, ...etc. you do your math.

 

You need to think really hard, if it is worth the effort to go through the charade of a marriage just to cover your gayness.

 

Life is short, don't make your life complicated. Live your life to your fullest with no regrets!

 

In your first paragraph you recognize that there are gays who don't marry to play the deception card being good liars and actors.  But there are men who are uncertain about their orientation and even without "exploring their gayness" they find that sex with their wife is not as exciting as their fantasies of sex with men.  They don't make a big deal out of that and they continue to enjoy their family life while attempting to have some some hidden fun with men.    In this way, they are not much different than so many men who after some time get tired of having sex with the wife and find other women to satisfy them.  In any case, if the gay and the straight are found out, it is not certain which one will be more stronger despised. There are women who would prefer that their man is unfaithful with another man than with another woman.

[Guest mategear69]

On 12/8/2021 at 1:18 AM, mate69 said:

As a husband, one of your key marital duties is to please your spouse...fulfil his/her sexual needs/wants.

If you are gay and you marry a woman, how are you going to fulfil this key need/requirement?

It's next to impossible and doomed to fail.

In this kind of situation, it's best to look for a woman who's willing to help you carry on the family line as long as she is financially supported. 

 

It' will be best to be upfront about one another's needs and requirements.

 

I had a lady tell me it's okay if the husband F with men but not women. Guess she knows male male not valid in the eyes of the law.

[Steve5380]

On 12/5/2021 at 10:41 AM, HolyBun said:

I knew I like guy when I'm in highschool and starting to realised I'm actually gay and been closeted ever since. But at that point of time, I have never think of the possibilities in getting marriage.

 

And now I'm almost 30, I'm starting to get worried and scared, as my friends one by one getting marry. My family, uncles, aunties keep asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend and marry. This has made me stressed out and thinks a lots like what happened when I'm old and there's no one beside me? 

 

I want and tried to get a gf by using dating apps, but I have never dated girls before and it makes me think if I get a gf, can we actually be happy or rather can I be happy? can I really love her or I'm just being selfish using a girl as an escape route for being gay? At the same time, I'm really scared to be alone when I'm at old age. These have causes me insomnia for past weeks.

 

What can I do or how to deal with all these emotions? 

 

I don't think that there is a unique answer to your situation.  My advice is that you don't take it too seriously like a matter of life or death.

 

Contrary to the life of most primates in the animal kingdom, whose life is centered on reproduction,  we people today have many other activities and interests we can focus on today.  Reproduction?  there is already a huge overpopulation.  Inquiries by family and friends surprised that a man is single?  This is old fashioned, they should know that many men today, mostly straight, choose to remain single.  So the answer to them can be very simple:  I enjoy being single, and I have no plans at this time to marry.  Period!

 

And what about this big fear of being alone when you are at "old age"?  If you are almost 30, you are at a perfect age to embrace a very healthy lifestyle, with proper nutrition to remain slim and healthy, and sufficient exercise to increase and/or maintain your strength.  If you do this for 50 years,  which you should  have no obstacles to do, you can reach one day 78 years of age, like I am now, being strong and in perfect health.  I am living alone since my bf passed away,  and I live happily without need of any help and with still a social life.  I estimate that I can easily remain independent for another 10 years, maybe into the 90s,  although we can never be sure of this.  And by then, I can quickly fall dead and forget all worries.  I don't even have to worry what will happen to my son and grandchildren then, since he is in a very good position.  And if I didn't have them, I would not even have this worry.

 

I was fortunate to have a son and grandchildren, so I am not alone in the world.  But many older men don't have any family left but they find social groups they can belong to. And they can live as happily as if they had still their wife and children. 

[mith]

the comments and posts here has been of utmost interest to me lately as i am involve with a married man since august this year. its new water to me altogether and i might be drowning already... 

 

anyway, he told me in bed that he's emotionally happy with the wife, and somewhat enjoys his family life, but he needs a MAN sexually! i am still trying to understand this.

Edited December 8, 2021 by mith

[Guest More More More]

On 12/8/2021 at 7:51 AM, mith said:

the comments and posts here has been of utmost interest to me lately as i am involve with a married man since august this year. its new water to me altogether and i might be drowning already... 

 

anyway, he told me in bed that he's emotionally happy with the wife, and somewhat enjoys his family life, but he needs a MAN sexually! i am still trying to understand this.

In the past, lots of men had an official wife but added concubines and mistresses. Some had many wives, depending on social norms. 

 

If you are happy with your current arrangement, then...

[Guest Meanly Preacher]

I will reiterate the same advice I previously offered another poster contemplating marrying a woman .....

 

1) Do NOT, under any circumstances, trick an unwitting straight woman into ruining her life by marrying you.

2) Only marry a lesbian in the same situation or a foreign woman who desperately wants to live in Singapore.

3) Tell the lesbian or desperate foreign woman the truth from the start so she understands the real situation.

4) Have a lawyer draft a pre-nuptial agreement even if it may not really be "legally enforcable" in Sinagapore.

 

There is one more item I forgot earlier that probably needs to be added to this list .....

 

5) Craft plans covering living arrangements, "real" partners, and potentially having children before marrying.

 

I think staying "single" with a secret boyfriend is best but those should help if you must marry a woman.

[tomcat]

On 12/7/2021 at 7:13 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

My answer is YES.

 

And it was her who wanted to change her life, leave the big city and live in the country, something that never appealed to me. 

 

as long as we do not hear from her own words directly, this is a dangerously one-side narrative. sorry, steve. she probably wanted to move to the country to cut off your supply of men in the city. blaming her for this does not change the fact that she was unhappy. 

i do not agree at all with gay men marrying women to keep up a fake life. it is not fair on either parties, and when children are involved, that is some damage and entanglement that you are leaving with them to sort out throughout their lives. children are innocent. 

[tomcat]

On 12/8/2021 at 7:51 AM, mith said:

i am involve with a married man since august this year. its new water to me altogether and i might be drowning already... anyway, he told me in bed that he's emotionally happy with the wife, and somewhat enjoys his family life, but he needs a MAN sexually! i am still trying to understand this.

 

this is actually what you are doing - you are just a prop he is using to give himself the best of both worlds.

 

he gets to live and enjoy the benefits of performing as a straight patriarchal male. the benefits which includes safety, good mental health, and acceptance.

 

but yet get to enjoy sex with gay men in the dark, without the judgment, discrimination and fear of living life as a gay man.

 

all this while many gay men are risking their lives, reputations and safety to fight for visibility, rights and acceptance for the community, he hides in his lies.

 

i won't tell you what to do. but if you love yourself, your community and have some self worth, you know what is right and what is wrong. 

 

 

[StockBottom]

Ask all the married here looking for sex lor.

[Steve5380]

On 12/7/2021 at 11:28 PM, tomcat said:

 

as long as we do not hear from her own words directly, this is a dangerously one-side narrative. sorry, steve. she probably wanted to move to the country to cut off your supply of men in the city. blaming her for this does not change the fact that she was unhappy. 

i do not agree at all with gay men marrying women to keep up a fake life. it is not fair on either parties, and when children are involved, that is some damage and entanglement that you are leaving with them to sort out throughout their lives. children are innocent. 

 

If you like to make conjectures about "dangerous narratives" of someone's life, do it better about your own life, which you should know better. 

 

If she wanted to move to the country to "cut off my supply of men", you are doubly wrong because 1) after more than 20 years she is still living in the country, and 2) there was never a supply of men in my life. While I was married, I only had contact with a man twice, during business trips in other cities.

 

You are not the only one who disagrees with marriages to keep up a fake life. We all do. This applies equally to all marriages, regardless of sexual orientations.

[mith]

On 12/8/2021 at 1:37 PM, tomcat said:

 

this is actually what you are doing - you are just a prop he is using to give himself the best of both worlds.

 

he gets to live and enjoy the benefits of performing as a straight patriarchal male. the benefits which includes safety, good mental health, and acceptance.

 

but yet get to enjoy sex with gay men in the dark, without the judgment, discrimination and fear of living life as a gay man.

 

all this while many gay men are risking their lives, reputations and safety to fight for visibility, rights and acceptance for the community, he hides in his lies.

 

i won't tell you what to do. but if you love yourself, your community and have some self worth, you know what is right and what is wrong. 

 

 

i can't say im proud of this affair! and i should know better shouldn't i? thanks.. luv, mith

[tomcat]

On 12/9/2021 at 9:47 AM, mith said:

i can't say im proud of this affair! and i should know better shouldn't i? thanks.. luv, mith

 

find someone who likes you for you, and one that you can have an actual future with. best of luck!

[cityhallguy]

On 12/8/2021 at 12:51 PM, mith said:

the comments and posts here has been of utmost interest to me lately as i am involve with a married man since august this year. its new water to me altogether and i might be drowning already... 

 

anyway, he told me in bed that he's emotionally happy with the wife, and somewhat enjoys his family life, but he needs a MAN sexually! i am still trying to understand this.

I think you can create another topic about involvement with married man if you like to discuss further. 

[Guest guest]

If scare old no one besides you, simply just go and get a bf. 

[Pubic01]

On 12/13/2021 at 12:29 PM, Guest guest said:

If scare old no one besides you, simply just go and get a bf. 

Btw bf also doesn’t guarantee anything/safety-net for future’s uncertainties. (In relationship, what you input often doesn’t render equal returns) For those with a devoted bf/spouse who stood by you thick & thin over decades; You’ve struck the best lottery in life.

 

Back to the Sham marriage topic. Know of an older friend in a sham marriage out of familial/religious pressure (with kids now), living in depression for a few years already… (It’s hard to watch; he wilted quite fast; confided that he rather have stayed single if can turn back time) He’s a gentle character btw & that’s probably the key problem here; Not willing to put up a fight & don’t want to oppose his folks. Separately, another ‘guai guai’ sec school friend also recently took that “same path”… Had a son lately. (I find it quite tough to congratulate him; As I can imagine the tough road ahead)

Edited December 13, 2021 by Pubic01

[Guest Guest]

I don't think a gay will ever be happy having been married with a woman. At one point in time, he will cheat and find pleasure with another man. That is a hard fact. Tell us wrong.

[Steve5380]

On 10/1/2022 at 12:14 PM, Guest Guest said:

I don't think a gay will ever be happy having been married with a woman. At one point in time, he will cheat and find pleasure with another man. That is a hard fact. Tell us wrong.

 

I don't like to tell you wrong.  I prefer that you realize your wrongness yourself.

 

I am gay and I am extremely happy having been married to a woman.  Thanks to this,  I have a wonderful son and precious grandchildren.  During my 13 years of marriage I was happy,  without major disagreements with my spouse,  but in the end she wanted more of life, wanted something I didn't,  to live in the country,  and we separated.  I discretely cheated twice with men, and had the pleasure.  But  I am not a sex addict.   And maybe it helped that I did find my wife attractive,  I may not be 100% gay but somewhere in between.

 

While you have only an opinion about the topic,  I have in addition an experience.  And experience trumps opinion.

 

 

[Pubic01]

Try FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early). The f_ck with marriage. What is that anyway? Personally I know of a gay friend who married a woman had two kids and is more miserable than before but now stuck. Another guy (former classmate) also gay just went down that same path…. Just had a kid. Gonna see that horrible tragedy repeat itself again .. goodness . Pity their women (made used of as smoke screen, angry and suspicious about their “husbands”, but dragging on pointlessly). Why all these stupidity just to keep up with a face value? Humanity is doomed into extinction which may not be bad 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Pubic01

[fab]

On 10/2/2022 at 8:25 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

I don't like to tell you wrong.  I prefer that you realize your wrongness yourself.

 

I am gay and I am extremely happy having been married to a woman.  Thanks to this,  I have a wonderful son and precious grandchildren.  During my 13 years of marriage I was happy,  without major disagreements with my spouse,  but in the end she wanted more of life, wanted something I didn't,  to live in the country,  and we separated.  I discretely cheated twice with men, and had the pleasure.  But  I am not a sex addict.   And maybe it helped that I did find my wife attractive,  I may not be 100% gay but somewhere in between.

 

While you have only an opinion about the topic,  I have in addition an experience.  And experience trumps opinion.

 

 

 

Since u r a bi, your opinion is not representative of gays and is not what TS is looking for. 

[Guest Don't be selfish prick]

Ruining a woman's happiness and life, tricking her into marriage, in order for you to hide your gay self, will result in bad karma. You will end up having problems finding long term happiness with a life partner.

[Guest Hearsay]

I heard that the reason why we haven't found the one we love and get married (i assume including us) is because in our past lives, we did not owe or indebted to anyone. If you are married, your other partner could be the one you need to pay your debt in this life. 

 

We also often heard in drama, if you have son, your son is your past life debtor who is seeking for you to pay off your debt in this life. 

 

If you have daughter, your daughter is your past mistress. 

 

Not sure how true is it.

[Pubic01]

On 10/2/2022 at 6:57 PM, Guest Hearsay said:

I heard that the reason why we haven't found the one we love and get married (i assume including us) is because in our past lives, we did not owe or indebted to anyone. If you are married, your other partner could be the one you need to pay your debt in this life. 

 

We also often heard in drama, if you have son, your son is your past life debtor who is seeking for you to pay off your debt in this life. 

 

If you have daughter, your daughter is your past mistress. 

 

Not sure how true is it.

That’s a unique viewpoint. Then for those who got no partner but deliberately (itchy backside) go find an innocent clueless woman to marry as a smoke screen to hid his gayness, what sort of category does such a guy fall into? Is he like deliberately creating bad karma for himself by living such a lie? When he could have live life without much carried over karma. 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Pubic01

[Guest Shocking]

 

 

On 10/2/2022 at 8:25 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

I don't like to tell you wrong.  I prefer that you realize your wrongness yourself.

 

I am gay and I am extremely happy having been married to a woman.   I discretely cheated twice with men, and had the pleasure. 

 

 

We appreciate you telling us that you provide a terrible example for gay people and should be avoided at all costs.

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Yes but he must be Top. And if she is Scorpio or Taurus wild and open minded can ask her fuck me with man made cock kinky fetish fun haha not easy to find any female (not trans or CS or feminine but Real women)

[Guest Balloney]

On 10/2/2022 at 7:51 PM, MasterFitMalaySG4U said:

Yes but he must be Top. And if she is Scorpio or Taurus wild and open minded can ask her fuck me with man made cock kinky fetish fun haha not easy to find any female (not trans or CS or feminine but Real women)

Don't you find two shaking balloons visually distasteful?

[G_M]

On 10/2/2022 at 9:10 PM, Guest Balloney said:

Don't you find two shaking balloons visually distasteful?

Do you find your mother distasteful? She also has 2 shaking balloons where she breastfeed milk to you. How ungrateful can you be. You also got out from her vagina too. Don't be an ass, unless you were a test-tube baby.