Marky's Life Stories...

[marky]

Memories of KL – Part 6 (Finale) (Click here)

2 weeks later….

It was just another ordinary weekday evening in KL. There I was again standing by the fountain courtyard at KLCC once more. I had made arrangements to meet Chris that evening… We’ve not kept in touch these 2 weeks and I just speculate that it could be that for some reason not made known to me, I had become a nuisance to him. To this day, I still don’t know what has caused the sudden change in attitude but I told myself that it was not important for me to know anymore. What’s important is that Chris is doing well in all areas of his life. Still I had asked for one last meeting and he has agreed to meet me.

I looked around at the glittering lights all around me, right from the floodlights that lit the impressive Petronas Tower to the bright colored lights that gave the fountain its magical appeal. It was here that we first met… and it is here that we will part…

“Hi Mark, sorry I’m late; there was a big jam along the way…” Chris suddenly called out to me from behind. He was panting slightly from having to rush here.

“No worries, it’s ok… So how have you been?” I was glad that he could turn up.

“Well, pretty busy lately with… oh never mind…. Erm.. so what is it that you want? I don’t suppose you called me just to ask me that right? By the way, I’ve to rush off in a while; I have a movie to catch soon…”

There was this awkwardness in the air…, it was similar to what had happened when we first knew each other.

“Heh…” I just smiled… It was a bitter and labored smile…, how things have changed after just a couple of weeks. It wasn’t easy to fake that smile because deep inside me, my heart was crying out to him… “Well, I just wanna see you one last time and give you this, nah..” With that I stretched forth my cupped hands and symbolically opening it. “Here, this is your heart…, I think it rightfully belongs to someone else now, right?”

For one fleeting moment Chris seemed to be at a loss for words… Whether he feels anything about the good times we’ve shared together I really wouldn’t know; after all I remember that he once told me before that he has never shed a tear since he was 13 and that he never ever intends to…

“Oh yeah…, thanks for looking after it all these weeks… but you must realize…” He continued.

“Hey, it’s ok, there’s no need to explain. Remember what I’ve always shared with you? That my personal happiness derives from seeing you happy? This will always be the case, okie? And I want you to know that I’m very happy for you right now.” I offered.

“Thanks for being so understanding. And I did take your advice and found someone whom I really liked. I suppose I better return you your heart too…” Chris voice tapered off towards the end.

“Heh.., it’s alright. It came running back to me a week ago when it couldn’t find a place to stay inside you…” I accidentally blurted out.

“Don’t say that… I’m not like that…”

“Oops, yeah, you’re right. That was in bad taste. I’m sorry…. I really am… Just one last thing before you leave for good… Can we have one last h….”

“Hi guys! Calv suddenly called out from a distant even before I could finish my sentence. He was oblivious to what was going on at that moment.

“Erm, what were you saying?” Chris asked

“Never mind, it’s not important…” I lied, and my heart started to cry. I wanted the hug so badly; even if we weren’t meant to be together, at least let this ending be like a fairy tale for me…..

“Erm…, sorry to interrupt but we really have to get going…; the movie’s gonna start pretty soon…” Calv said. And with that, the both of them rushed back into the building with me waving at the new couple till they were out of sight.

“Goodbye Oozy…, goodbye…” I whispered softly to myself. It has been sometime since I last called him by that and suddenly my eyes began to water…

I found a nice quiet spot on the steps facing the fountain area and started recalling the wonderful times that Chris and I had : the times we shared our dreams, the times we shared food, the times we went places and did things together and the time we shared intimacies… Ah…. That boy has grown up and is now leaving the nest… I thought to myself. And knowing that he is now in good hands, I started feeling happy again.

I looked up at the bright evening sky and secretly whispered a prayer to Heaven that God would protect Chris wherever he may be. Then I took a deep breath of fresh air…; I want to remember what the air in KL smells like for eternity because this may be the very last time I’ll be staying over in KL. This place, especially KLCC, holds just too many mixed memories for me…

Time went by very slowly… but it was soon time for me to head back to Singapore once more. Just as I got up from the steps, a voice called out to me.

“Hi there, can you take a picture for me with the fountain as the backdrop?” The request came from a Chinese guy of about 29yo and about my height.

“Sure, it’s my pleasure.” I agreed and I took a beautiful picture of him with the fountain in glowing colors. “By the way, it would have been better if you had a smile on your face when I was taking the picture instead of the glum you have now… and you have a Singaporean accent, are you by chance from there?”

“Yeah, I am…” He continued in his melancholic tone

“So what brings you here… alone I mean….” I enquired.

“Well… to sort out some relationship problems…. And you?”

“Oh, erm… you may like know that I’m here for something similar too.”

“Really? You wanna talk about it? It may do us both good!” It seemed as if by fate that we could clique..

“Sure, why not…” I was glad to have his company too. After all, we were two strangers in a foreign land...

And we both walked slowly towards the brightly lit park, chatting as we went along…

--- The End ---

Epilogue

Such is life…

• When one door of happiness closes, another window of opportunity is opened for us somewhere else. All we need is to realize this and look for it.
  
• We win some, and we lose some. But don’t look upon every setback as a loss. Sometimes, you stand to gain more than you lose.
  
• Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
  
• It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
  
• Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
  
• Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
  
• May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
  
• Always put yourself in other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.
  
• The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
  
• Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
  
• Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
  
• It is okay to cry; it just shows we are human and we have emotions. But we must also know when the grieving should end and when life has to go on.
  
• When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
  
• Last but not least… It is better to have loved and lost it than never ever experienced it at all…
  

[JakeTanner]

awesome story.

good luck!

JT

--

I edited your post to delete off the blatant advertising. Please restrict advertising to the business section.

Hendry Tan

Moderator cum Admin

[marky]

Hi JakeTanner,

Thanks for reading my story As for the rest reading it, just to reiterate here...

I'm not proud of what has happened. Neither am I glamorizing it nor seeking pity because no one will pity married men. I'm just relating a past that did happen and for all to have a good read on the life of an individual. The quotes at the end are meant to encourage others to view and lead life positively. Cheers

[Guest Do What I Did]

...I'm not proud of what has happened. Neither am I glamorizing it nor seeking pity because no one will pity married men...

Marky: You don't need pity man ... just a date!!! How 'bout it??? :whistle:

[marky]

Marky: You don't need pity man ... just a date!!! How 'bout it??? :whistle:

Hi, long time no see Sure thing, you'd be da very first person I'd meet on this forum PM your hp

[Guest Do What I Did]

Hi, long time no see Sure thing, you'd be da very first person I'd meet on this forum PM your hp

Marky : Can't PM Exchange emails instead???

[Guest Hi Marky...]

Marky : Can't PM Exchange emails instead???

Hi Marky, keen to know u better...my email : yagib09@ymail.com

[marky]

Hi all, my email is sotong10@gmail.com.

Hi Marky, just wanted to play safe. Had wanted to drop you a note but not sure if your email is ymail or yahoo mail... just in case the mail gets sent to a wrong person...

[Guest Still Hiding]

Such beautiful stories. Love stories seems to be most beautiful when they are forbidden & often short. May you find your True Love, someone who accept your situation & treasure you for always.

[Guest Do What I Did]

Hi all, my email is sotong10@gmail.com.

Marky: Mine is prick@hotmail.com so you'll know it's me when I write to discuss our date!!!

[Guest allanwu]

first of all marky

i enjoyed reading both your stories : the one on your army life and the other one regarding your korkor

but can i ask something

they are true life stories right?

another thing is

i read your Malaysia story right after the one on your KorKor

i don't mean to be blunt here

but is it possible to be falling in love so easily?

i mean , did you get over "korkor"

if you hadn't i can't understand how you could fall in love with the Malaysian guy

anyway i am just curious

sorry if i offended you in anyway in this post

but i would appreciate you replying

[Guest allanwu]

first of all marky

i enjoyed reading both your stories : the one on your army life and the other one regarding your korkor

but can i ask something

they are true life stories right?

another thing is

i read your Malaysia story right after the one on your KorKor

i don't mean to be blunt here

but is it possible to be falling in love so easily?

i mean , did you get over "korkor"

if you hadn't i can't understand how you could fall in love with the Malaysian guy

anyway i am just curious

sorry if i offended you in anyway in this post

but i would appreciate you replying

the above quote is written and posted by me

since then i have became an BW member :thumb:

anyway marky

i was left sleepless the entire night by your story literally

alot of questions pop into my mind after reading your story on your University life and i can really feel the sadness

and i am truly touched by it

there's alot of questions i wanna ask you

but i shall respect your privacy

my mind is still thinking about what happened between you and your "korkor"

somehow i wish you and "korkor" can be together

this may sound silly

but i hope for you to be happy now

[BorneID]

i love reading. Thank you marky

[marky]

i love reading. Thank you marky

Hi, and thanks for reading it too

[marky]

the above quote is written and posted by me

since then i have became an BW member :thumb:

anyway marky

i was left sleepless the entire night by your story literally

alot of questions pop into my mind after reading your story on your University life and i can really feel the sadness

and i am truly touched by it

there's alot of questions i wanna ask you

but i shall respect your privacy

my mind is still thinking about what happened between you and your "korkor"

somehow i wish you and "korkor" can be together

this may sound silly

but i hope for you to be happy now

Hi Allanwu,

Thanks for taking the time to read the stories. Yes, they are real life accounts of my past and the army story took a week to complete and the university one took more than 2 weeks. The KL one however was written non-stop over 8 hours in one melancholic evening. Maybe tis hard to believe so much drama can happen to one person, huh? But well, life is such I guess...

Everyone is built and wired differently. You may find it hard to love another person after one relationship is over but it may not be so for me. As I have mentioned in the epilogue of my last story : There's a time for grieving and a time to move on and get on with life. And I choose to move on, maybe that's how I managed to keep sane all these years.

But just in case you think everything happened too fast. This is the time line :

Army Days : 18-20yo

Campus : 21 - 26yo

KL : 37yo

Now, it is at least 11 years between the campus love life and the KL one. I personally think it is a reasonable time to let go and move on. I hope you will not wait 15years or more before you can forget a sad past and move on with your life

Anyway, I better add that the KL one was probably just a brief episode. It never really took off. I hope he is doing well now. And believe it or not, I can't remember what he looks like now. Perhaps that's a good sign too

I think I have answered quite a bit already. Anyway, if you have yet to experience a love that's intense enough to make your recall of it even years on, I do hope you'd get your chance to do so. Dun ask further, love is meant to be experience. Go forth and find yours. Heartache or not, love is a wonderful emotion to be personally experienced

Edited April 18, 2009 by marky

[Fat4Slim]

WOw....taking a long 11 hours nonstop timespan to read all these (in between some snacks and food and all that). I have never read such sincere and touching True life Stories....really laugh and cry at many parts. Find so many scenarios to be engaging and heartfelt....like we have experience such before...

Really very moving. I am glad that Marky move on.....and all these experiences that grow with us....oh god, im going drama mama again.....

Thank you very much for sharing all these experiences with us, Marky (at least, thanks you for letting me get in touch with mine, remembering back)

Okay, got to clean up the mess..oh, have not cry so much for so long..

Edited April 18, 2009 by Fat4Slim

[Physical]

Remarkable. The most touching was the final line in part 17. Thank you for sharing.

[Guest allanwu]

Hi Allanwu,

Thanks for taking the time to read the stories. Yes, they are real life accounts of my past and the army story took a week to complete and the university one took more than 2 weeks. The KL one however was written non-stop over 8 hours in one melancholic evening. Maybe tis hard to believe so much drama can happen to one person, huh? But well, life is such I guess...

Everyone is built and wired differently. You may find it hard to love another person after one relationship is over but it may not be so for me. As I have mentioned in the epilogue of my last story : There's a time for grieving and a time to move on and get on with life. And I choose to move on, maybe that's how I managed to keep sane all these years.

But just in case you think everything happened too fast. This is the time line :

Army Days : 18-20yo

Campus : 21 - 26yo

KL : 37yo

Now, it is at least 11 years between the campus love life and the KL one. I personally think it is a reasonable time to let go and move on. I hope you will not wait 15years or more before you can forget a sad past and move on with your life

Anyway, I better add that the KL one was probably just a brief episode. It never really took off. I hope he is doing well now. And believe it or not, I can't remember what he looks like now. Perhaps that's a good sign too

I think I have answered quite a bit already. Anyway, if you have yet to experience a love that's intense enough to make your recall of it even years on, I do hope you'd get your chance to do so. Dun ask further, love is meant to be experience. Go forth and find yours. Heartache or not, love is a wonderful emotion to be personally experienced

i see thank you

just wanna tell you that your University story really made an impact on me

it's tragic .. well to me i think it is at least ... if that kinda thing happen to me ... i don't even know if i would have the will to live on

lastly

thank you for sharing your life stories

Edited April 19, 2009 by allanwu

[Guest wannabeyoungagain]

i see thank you

just wanna tell you that your University story really made an impact on me

it's tragic .. well to me i think it is at least ... if that kinda thing happen to me ... i don't even know if i would have the will to live on

lastly

thank you for sharing your life stories

Marky, It was really an eyeopener to read your real stories. As a married man, how I wish I had the guts to experience what you had. Although I am happily married with two great kids, there is a part of me that really want to have relationships with "kor Kor". In this world, it seems almost impossible to lead a double life... Regret if you do.... Regret if you dont!

Wouldnt it be great to have a world where people can readily accept PLU. Tough to even accept ourselves.

Hope you can share more stories how you can be happy in your current married life and also with others.

Thanks for sharing

[marky]

WOw....taking a long 11 hours nonstop timespan to read all these (in between some snacks and food and all that). I have never read such sincere and touching True life Stories....really laugh and cry at many parts. Find so many scenarios to be engaging and heartfelt....like we have experience such before...

Really very moving. I am glad that Marky move on.....and all these experiences that grow with us....oh god, im going drama mama again.....

Thank you very much for sharing all these experiences with us, Marky (at least, thanks you for letting me get in touch with mine, remembering back)

Okay, got to clean up the mess..oh, have not cry so much for so long..

[marky]

Remarkable. The most touching was the final line in part 17. Thank you for sharing.

[marky]

I'll reply to the rest a little later as I gotta leave the office soon. You see, I stumbled on yet a another 'gem' of a story which was posted way back in 2005 on Sgboyx. Let me give you a little background on this story : Truth be told, it is something str8 I read in perhaps a defunct site years back. I merely lengthen the story, changed the characters to gays ones and also added music to make the story something you'd come to uniquely associate with my stories by now. It may not be real but I can assure you the plot is long and engaging... Hahaha... Happy reading...

Jack & Min

Chapter 1 (Right Click here)

Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger,

you may see a stranger across a crowded room

And somehow you know you know even than,

that somewhere you'll see him again and again…

First day in campus was chaotic. I found an army friend, Ken, who took Comp. Sc. too. We buddied up and took the new challenge of navigating out life in NUS together. He is a very playful person and is always full of life and vigor.

Ken pulled me to attend the NUSSU Hop and Jam. We really let our hair loose and danced crazily. I enjoyed myself at the hop. That was where I met him….

He had gone to the hop with a group of friends. I saw him during the jam and eyed him when the hop started. He is different from the guys I had before from my last failed relationship. He is jovial, sexy, playful and looked good too.

"Hey, that guy you are eyeing is not bad. Go for it man!", Ken gave a supportive nudge.

I wished my gaydar was working that night but it failed me miserably. What the heck, it’s now or never. I got Ken to join me and we danced and moved ourselves towards his group of friends. I moved towards him slowly as by chance.

"Hi, can erm… we dance with your group? We got no girls to dance with lor”, I lied.

He just smiled and his friends looked on. I felt so embarrassed that I hope the ground would just open up and swallow me. Of course, the more experienced Ken came to my rescue.

"Hi everybody! Ken is my name and dancing is my game. My buddy's Min. We like dancing but it looked so odd with 2 of us dancing with each other. Can we join in?"

Some of the girls in his group just giggled. He flashed me a cute grin and I took the cue. We joined them and danced in a circle. My eyes were fixed on the ground most of the time, but I would occasionally look up and glance in his direction; he looked better in the flashing lights. His hair was silky soft, his skin fair and unblemished. His smile was gorgeous. His eyes were hypnotizing. His trim figure was sexy as can be seen by his all black outfit. Who wouldn’t go for a guy like him?

Amidst the loud blaring of the speakers, I managed to find out a few things about him. He was from Comp Science too and like me, a freshie. He stayed in Bukit Merah, quite close to NUS. He was from a good college and had initially chosen to study Law but could not make it and was posted to his second choice instead.

We danced until almost eleven when the girls decided to go back. I seized the chance to offer to send some of them including him back. He smiled but seemed hesitant at first but I insisted. I gave the excuse that this was the least I could do to thank him for allowing Ken and me to dance along with them. The other girls looked on with suspicious eyes but who cared, rite?!

Ken stepped in to help. He made sure I went back with him alone by treating the other girls to a drink at Clementi. To this day, I still have not paid Ken the $12+ that he spent that night with the three girls.

The journey to his place was awkward but memorable. My heart was beating very fast and I hoped he could not sense my nervousness. There in my car was the guy of my dreams and I’m about to screw up the whole thing. My speech was slurred, stuttered and incoherent. He smiled and chuckled at my nervousness and stupidity. I guess that was what he liked about me at first. I hoped he didn’t find me a busy body because I asked him many questions on the way. He was careful not to reveal too many details and worse, he just would not give me his handphone number.

Just before he alighted at his block, he turned around, smiled and said, “You are the first guy I know who send another guy back home on the first meeting…."

My heart froze... Had I been too obvious in my actions? For one fleeting moment, my heart sank thinking that that was probably the last time I’d be seeing him again.

But to my surprise, he smiled again before opening the car door. “You are very cute. See you tomorrow!" Having said that, he smiled his million-dollar smile and closed the door gently.

I was on cloud nine!! It took me quite some time to register what he said. I felt very very happy!!

[marky]

Jack and Min - Chapter 2

I never approached Jack about what he said about me that evening; that part about me being cute. It was just in case in didn’t mean much. Jack just wouldn't give me his handphone number. We always talked on Vax until the wee hours in the morning. I asked him many times why he would not give me his number and he would just say that his family is paying for his handphone bills so he didn’t think it would be nice to impose on them especially when they are not well-to-do. Hard to believe because SMS are free but I just had to accept the reason he gave. I could have gotten his number from his female friends but I decided to let him give it to me personally some time later.

He was also afraid to be seen in public with me. He would only meet in the Central Library or YIH, but never in Comp Science. I questioned him once and he would only say "I am afraid rumors will spread". Can't he take me just as a good buddy?

Weeks passed and we went out many times; about twice a week. His favorite colors were black and white, evident by his dressing. Most of the time, we would go to the movies or go to Changi Airport on the pretext of finding a quiet spot to study away from the noisy girls who seemed attracted to him like bees to honey. When we were out of campus, he would talk to me like we’re close buddies. His face would lit up and he’d again flash that million dollar smile of his. Yet in campus, he would appear distant from me....

One day we went to Marina Bay on a Saturday afternoon after the lectures. We stayed there until late into the evening, 10 plus. The gentle breeze blew against our face, stinging our eyes with the sea salt it brought along. There were hardly anyone around that being a weekday. I felt the urgent need to ask if he was also gay. It was now or never…

“Er… erm… Jack, I’m glad I got to know you…” I stuttered.

“Same here..” He was as cool as ever…

“J.. Jack, I hope you’d be gentle with me on this ok? I’m actually g… gay…” :oops:

“I know”

“Y.. you do?? How do you know that?? Am I that obvious??”

“Nah…………., it takes one to know another….” Came his reply....

“You mean you knew all these while!!??” I asked half in surprise as well as in excitement.

“Yeah…. you can say that….” He smiled.... and all was silent again.

We were seated on the granite riverbank facing the Marina Bay all this while. The bright lights from the office blocks in Raffles Place cast a shimmer onto the surface of the sea lending it a magical glitter. Neither one of us were looking at each other during this awkward moment. But we started inching closer towards each other as the conversation carried on.

Suddenly, he laid his head gently on my shoulders. I was overjoyed! Here was someone whom I had admired and liked so intensely and he was mine this very night! I held his slim body and wrapped my arms around his shoulder. I toyed with his hair and combed his fringe off his forehead and tried many different hairstyles on his handsome face.

"That feels very nice." he whispered softly and looked into my eyes.

I stared into his big beautiful eyes. My heart began to pound quickly and loudly. It was now or never…. I guess somehow he sensed it too; he smiled gently and closed his eyes, his lips parting slightly as my hands held his face closer towards mine. Slowly, I moved my lips to meet his and savored the succulent and moist lips. His welcoming tongue was the more curious tongue. Both of us could tell that he was the more experienced one in this act of love.

We were both quite breathless after a good 5 minutes of intimacy. We disengaged from our virgin kiss with me still holding tightly to him as if fearing that I might lose him forever should I ever let go... We looked up into the starry night and wondered if the moon and the stars were rejoicing with us that very moment.

Then Jack closed his eyes for a while as if muttering a prayer. He opened them and looked at me straight into my eyes. I held him closer and asked softly,

"What were you thinking of?"

"Nothing, just hold me now, ok?" He smiled and closed his eyes again and cuddled into my arms. I felt very happy but strange. Then I asked him,

"Jack, do you love me? You think we can try out as a couple?"

He was startled. He stared at my eyes with his mouth slightly opened as if searching for words to say. After a while he got up from his reclining position and sat upright, brushing his hair back with both his hands and looked out into the sea once again.

"What if I were to tell you that you’re not the first one I’ve ever loved? What if I were to tell you I had quite a checkered past? But I do like you very much. Please know and remember that." Tears started streaming down his cheeks like strings of molten gold that’s reflecting the bright city lights.

"Ssshhhh, Jack, why are you crying? Have I said something wrong today?"

"No. It's just that I am overwhelmed by certain feelings. I hate to lie to you but I feel that I shouldn't hide it from you any longer either…." He sobbed.

"Hide what? Is there something you want to tell me? Is it about your secretiveness?" I asked expectantly. I knew this day would happen... that he would tell me his story.

"I actually had three relationships before…" he said weakly.

I had expected him to have a relationship or perhaps two before at our youthful age of 21 but not three!!! No wonder his kiss seemed so experienced…. I was caught quite by surprise and suddenly I was in a daze and at a lost for words…

[marky]

Chapter 3

"Are you shocked? Hello?" Jack jolted me out of my daze.

"No... I... I just... I am just surprised, that’s all." I tried to cover up my disappointment but my tone betrayed me thoroughly.

He closed his eyes again and more silent tears flowed. The damage was done and I knew he was crying silently inside. I held him close and felt the warmth that spread through his body to mine. I was at a loss of what to say because I was too preoccupied with my own confusion. A part of me wanted him so badly yet another part of me couldn't reconcile with his revelations... I just held him and waited for his sobbing to stop. When it finally did about ten minutes later he said,

"I had my first relationship when I was in ACJC and after he got me, he broke off with his girlfriend. I felt bad about it all. He was very good looking, intelligent and popular. He was the vice-captain of the school rugger team. He seemed to know what he really wanted then… That was five years ago, first year in JC. We loved each other very much until middle of year two when he changed. He found himself another girlfriend; a rich man's daughter. Then he started telling me that this path wasn’t meant for him and he wanted to lead a normal life again…. He just left me without any other word. I called him many times and pleaded with him to come back but to no avail. He didn’t even wanted to be friends anymore! The worse thing is…. that I had already... given him my virginity. I resigned to my fate and was very sad after that. I could not come to terms with reality then. We were so in love and suddenly he changed. I was miserable for a long time. I cried myself to sleep many nights and whenever I dreamt of him, I would pick up the phone and call him, only to put down the receiver when I realised that it's only a dream. I could not eat proper meals and my studies suffered. I was even more jealous whenever I saw him with his new girl. They walked past me without even saying 'Hi'. I was very troubled and sad. I almost failed my A’levels because of that."

I winced about uncomfortably upon hearing those words. They hit me like a stone from out of the blue. I didn't imagine all this could have happened, like a guy losing his virginity in JC…. Then he went on.

"The second one came around mid-January; just before my March enlistment in the army. I got to know him through IRC…. He was different. He was not handsome nor the active type. He was 26yo then and had just started out on his career. It was nice to be out with someone who is older than you; he was emotionally more stable & matured, knew what he wanted in life, and he had a heart of gold. He didn't know much about my previous relationship with my first boyfriend. He only knew that we broke off. I didn't want to tell him much about my previous relationship. Maybe it’s because I didn't like him at first. He sent me back home almost every time we went out. He bought me my first Quiksilver T-shirt too. We ignored all the gossips that was going on about us. We were very happy together. We would spend the evenings after his work going to the movies or hanging the shopping malls. He would then send me home just in time for dinner. Life was simple and sweet. I began to love him very much….”

"Then one evening on our weekend date, he accosted me the moment we met and asked me this question: Did you give your virginity to him!!? I was shocked beyond words. I wondered how he knew. He told me later that he heard rumors about it on IRC. I didn't want to keep him in the dark anymore. I told him the truth that evening. He only had harsh words for me: YOU CHEATED ME!! YOU’RE ALREADY A LOOSE SLUT AT 18YO!!! I could sense the burning anger and disappointment inside him. We never got to meet after that. My world just collapsed into pieces. I don't blame him at all. I didn't know what to do. After so long of learning to love someone, I just lost him like that. I blame myself for being so stupid and for covering up the truth thinking that that past will never come back to haunt me. I had thought that everything would be fine and happy. But who knows? Had I told him earlier, things might have been different. I almost thought of committing suicide until a friend stopped me and talked to me for almost three hours on top of my flat…."

I pitied Jack; tears welled in my eyes. I did not know what to do. Somehow I just hope that all these things he was relating were not real. I was hoping that this would not happen to the guy I love. He continued, with eyes staring straight into the sea while he narrated.

"I was soon enlisted for national service. The first 3 months at Tekong was sheer hell for me. I was still trying to come to terms with this breakup while coping with the harsh demands of the BMT training. Fortunately however, I managed to do well and earned myself the best recruit award in my platoon.”

"Then I met another guy, Juv, 6 months before disrupting for NUS. He was a mortar man from the unit’s support company and had just enlisted for national service not long. He was 1 year our junior and was only an O’level holder. He too came from a poor family background and was working prior to his enlistment. This meant that national service was a burden to him and his family who depended on his income because he had to stop working just to serve our country.”

“He was quite handsome with his boyish look. He liked me a lot and I liked him too but I thought that there was no future for us. I mean I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go through another traumatic time after having 2 failed relationships all within 2 years. Furthermore, I was disrupting soon…, who knows what life holds for all of us once I’m here in campus… I also did not let him know I am waiting for A-level results because I was afraid it might him feel inferior or that I was showing off…All that while, I lied to him that I was just going to get a job upon RODing. I guess that was my way of making him comfortable with me rather than feeling inferior…”

"Once during my birthday, Juv even bought me a little cake after he booked in that evening when I was performing COS duties although I refused. I mean, he couldn’t even feed himself with that $200 over allowance the army gave him, but he would say that he had already bought it and asked me not to waste his hard earned money. He even sang the birthday song to me in the Ops room. I relented after that I decided to give our relationship a try… But we made the mistake of being too obvious in our actions… Dad was furious when he accidentally caught Juv and me kissing late one Saturday evening when we were having a moment of intimacy at the void deck… I was lectured that very night. Dad was furious and said I was a disgrace to the family. I was also slapped when I tried to reason with him.”

“Juv didn’t know about that incident as I didn’t want him to feel guilty about it. But my dad would question me every evening when I happen to reach home late. He wanted to know if Juv and I were still indulging in sinful acts… I couldn’t take dad’s pressure any longer and finally threw in the towel…”

[marky]

I'm back again to post the balance of the chapter. In case some of you realized... the chapter was cut-off halfway as I did say I was in a hurry to leave the office

Chapter 4

“Just before the unit went for its 4 days 3 nights proficiency exercise, I told Juv that we couldn’t see each other anymore. I told him about my dad and that I was actually qualified to enter the university. I figured that if I told him this just prior to his company setting off for the field camp, then we could both save ourselves the trouble of having an awkward time for the next few days should we have eye contacts. You see, I was exempted from the exercise since I was about to disrupt… But I was dead wrong.”

“The guy was persistent and said nothing should stand in our way, not even my dad. He didn’t even mind that I had lied to him all these while about my education level. He got emotional when I was quite insistent on my decision…. He told me to wait for him to return from the exercise first because I had no right to break off the relationship without his consent… That was just before the unit convoy set off for the training area. I told him there was no need to talk further as I had made up my mind. With that, I left him setting off to the fields with a broken heart…”

"The following evening at about 11pm, someone came and knocked on our door. Dad opened it. I heard some argument and I heard Juv shouting out my name!! I got up and was shocked to see him at the door. I asked him how he managed to get out of the field. He just mumbled something like he had feigned dizziness and the PC actually gave him permission to rest back in the company barracks. I actually believed him and pleaded with dad to let us go down to the playground to talk. Surprisingly, dad relented.”

"He held my hand firmly all the way. He kept saying that he loves me. I already knew that though. I assured him I love him too but he seemed unconvinced. He wanted us to have sex again and he seemed desperate. I didn't understand then why he wanted it so desperately but I acceded to his request. We finally did so since the neighborhood playground was deserted. Later on, we just sat on the same swing and enjoying the chilling breeze with him holding me in his arms. I felt safe and sleepy. And soon I slept in his arms in the playground.

"Then suddenly I was awaken by shoutings. I saw a few soldiers running towards him. He looked worried and said: 'Sorry Jack, I have to go. I know we cannot be together after you go to university but I know what I did tonight is worth it. Tonight is worth it all the trouble. I will not forget tonight. Remember, Jack, I love you always….’”

"It wasn't before long I knew he had AWOLed to see me. I had actually left him 2 days ago in a desperate state and he couldn’t think properly since then. He had beaten up one of the B vehicle drivers and stole a military vehicle to escape from the fields just to come to my place. I did not know how he did it; I only knew why. Because of the multiple charges, he was sentenced to three years confinement in detention barracks.”

"I was so moved by his stupidity and sincerity, and I regretted how I had treated him those past few days. I almost wanted to give up my university education for him. I visited him at the detention barrack to tell him my decision. He seemed happy to learn how much I was willing to sacrifice for him but he said that education to me is more important than him. He wanted me to pursue my studies saying that not everyone in life is given that privilege but I told him I wanted to start earning money and wait for him to get out and then we will find a place of our own. His last words to me were: 'Always remember me, ok??' He died the next day…. He had committed suicide in the detention barracks. I cried for many days. Both his parents and mine blamed me for Juv’s death. I felt remorseful but I did not know how to pay them back their only son. I visited them every week as they were well into their old age. I cleaned their house and kept them company. I wore black and white since then. It was also then that I learnt they had a nephew studying in science too.”

"Min, it's not that I do not like you. I love you very much. I just feel so insecure and I have no confidence in relationships anymore. Three failed relationships in a mere two years just make me afraid to go into the fourth one. Can't you see I have no more confidence? I was cheated by the first one. The second one was cheated by me. And the third one died for me. Tell me, what will you do if the fourth one come? I had told myself never to enter into another relationship until I graduate. My AJ friends advised me that too. But you came along. I was so reluctant but I am a human being as well. I feel love, I need to be loved, I need to love too. Can you see? I pity easily, and I love easily too."

By then Jack’s words were broken with sobbings. Only now did I realized why he always wore white and black. I also realized why he did not want to be seen with me. He was just so unfortunate….

"I am truly sorry. I shouldn't have suspected you nor asked you things like that." It was my turn to speak but he didn’t reply.

Both of us kept quiet for sometime. Jack’s half-an-hour long narration shocked me and drove words out of my mind. He was silent too. He still sat upright beside me. He looked at me and asked, "Do you still want me?"

His eyes were blank. A sign of defeat and hopelessness was all I can sense. I stared into those blank eyes and thought hard, not knowing what to think or what to say. His background was complex and difficult to accept. I did not know if we could carry this through together too. I just did not know what to do. Why couldn’t the person I like so much have led an ordinary life just like the rest of us??

I love him. But yet I was afraid of what had happened. I was afraid that the past would catch up with the present. I was afraid of what other people would say about us if we carried on. I was afraid of what Jack’s last boyfriend's cousin would think and do. Will Juv’s cousin accept the fact that his cousin's lover is a guy and in someone else's arms in just a mere three over months?

Besides, I had hope to have a simple and naïve guy as a boyfriend. I do not mind about past relationships but he had already given himself freely to three other guys!!?? I blamed him for being too liberal. But then, am I any better? I had sex before with my first love too although we only did handjobs. I debated within myself for a long time.

I know Jack loved me very much as he had put his own future in my hands by telling me his deepest secrets. I am glad that he was frank with me. I am really grateful that he did not hide anything from me.

So many odds were against us. The heavens seemed to be smiling on me just a few hours ago. And now, it seemed to be putting a curse and burden on me.

His gaze was still fixed on me. He was still waiting anxiously for my reply. I knew whatever I was about to say would change both of our future. I had planned to tell him I wanted him, I needed him and I loved him. I turned and met his gaze but he spoke first.

"Min, don't pity me. If you are going to say 'yes' to make me feel better, please don't. Both of us will not be happy together. I think it's better that we put everything on hold first and see how things will work out. Let time be a test of our real love for each other, ok? But remember... I do love you. There is always a special place for you in my heart. You know my feelings towards you. You make the decision…. sometime later."

I agreed to his suggestion. The events of this night had taken a drastic and unexpected turn much to my chagrin. I didn’t know what I really wanted then. Perhaps time will be a better judge than ourselves. And we both left Marina Bay that evening downcast….

[marky]

Chapter 5

Three weeks had passed since Jack and I last talked to each other. We still say 'Hi' but we never talked face to face nor on the VAX anymore. Schoolwork also became heavier and heavier. It was a strange feeling altogether to be alone again except for Ken's company during school hours. (Remember Ken? He's my buddy who helped me get to know Jack better..)

During those three weeks Ken was very supportive. I came out to him about my orientation after I decided I needed someone to confide my problems in and Ken was cool about it. He did not know why we decided to put everything on hold. He offered to help but could he? He got himself a girl from Arts that he met in his ECA. She was quite good too. She also offered to help but Ken had asked her to join her friends because he wanted to be with me during this difficult time. I was very grateful to both of them.

Jack did not say how long we must wait. He just said we put everything on hold. I know I couldn't wait any longer. I just need him badly because I loved him very much. Every now and then he would just pop up in my mind in my moments of solitude. I thought of him while driving. I thought of him in between the lecturer's pauses. I thought of him while brushing my teeth. And I even thought of him while trying to sleep at night. I just couldn't concentrate on my work or anything I was doing. Life became so unbearable without him...

Finally, I decided to talk to him face to face. I know where he usually went after lessons, an obscure corner in the Central Library. I had made up my mind to tell him I need him and I loved him regardless of his past.

The internal shuttle service journey just did not seem fast enough. I hope the bus driver would just hurry up and get to Central quickly. Can't he understand I was rushing to tell a very special person that I love him and I want him? If only the driver knew…

I alighted at Central and ran towards the Central Library. I took two to three steps at a time up the spiral staircase. I just couldn't wait to tell him the good news.

I saw him studying alone at the same old place that we used to study together. I walked quietly behind him and hugged him tightly from the back. My lips moved just in time to stop his mouth from letting out a scream and stole a quick kiss.

"Jack, I’ve thought things over. Let’s forget about your past. I know what I want now... I need you, I want you, I can't live without you. Please back come to me. I love you."

Jack’s shocked expression puzzled me. I thought he should be very happy to be with me. Before I could even ask him anything a hand patted on my shoulders.

"Hey! Why are you kissing my friend!!?"

I spun around and saw a big guy behind me. He was half a head taller and quite muscular. He was quite tanned too. I was shocked. Why was he talking like that?

"Excuse me, guys. Let me explain." Jack said hurriedly. "Min, this is Collin. Collin, meet Min."

Collin was Jack's first boyfriend. I was even more shocked this time. What had happened? Is everything and everybody going crazy?

"Jack! I demand to know what is happening. Would you mind explaining?" I asked angrily.

"Collin, please leave us for a moment. I'll join you... no, I'll meet you in your car later. Wait for me there." Collin went away but before he did he gave me the don't-do-anything-funny-or-else-I'll-bash-you-up kind of look. That did not scare me at all until I recalled that he was a rugby player.

"Min. I hope you will forgive me. Yes I still love him. I have always loved him. I have given him my virginity, remember? He was my first love, can't you see? My first love..." Jack's voice tampered off..

My heart just shattered into a million pieces. I sat there not knowing what to do. Everything just did not look right. I just couldn't believe this came from someone I love so much.

"I love you too. I always will. I said you would always have a special place in my heart. You certainly will have." he consoled me. "See, Collin came to me about a week after we stop seeing one another. He was a very shattered guy. He changed into a sloppy and defeated person. He told me his girlfriend dumped him after both of them got into Uni. His rich girlfriend went to NTI and got herself another boyfriend. Collin didn't have to serve NS as he is an Indonesian."

"So you are together with him because he is a rich Indonesian guy?"

"No! He pleaded with me to go back to him but I refused initially. I asked him what if he was still unsure about his sexuality and he said he knew what he wanted this time for sure! He was so adamant that he followed me in his car all the way home. Dad persuaded me to tell him off when he stood outside our door. I didn’t want him to create a scene at my house after what happened the last time with the guy in the army, and I knew I couldn’t talk or see him in the eyes because I knew I still love him. I knew what my first words to him would be. He just didn't leave until way past dinner at ten plus. Mom gave him some food but he refused to eat. He just sat outside our door saying he wanted to see me and talk to me."

"So what? I can do just that too!" I retorted.

"Just listen, Min. Our neighbors kept looking at him and us. Upon Dad's urging, I finally brought him some cold food and he ate so heartily. His eyes lit up and his face so radiant. I was so touched. I mean, he did that all for me. I could sense his sincerity. I can see straight away that his love for me has not died yet. He still loves me after all these years. I just felt that I could forgive everything that he had done to me. After all, those were history already. No point finger pointing and accusing one another anymore...."

Jack’s eyes were quite excited now. However, he was oblivion to my sorrow, anger and disappointment.

"I invited him in that night. I believe dad and mom were quite suspicious of the whole thing but surprisingly they didn’t protest this time. Even my little sis could tell that he was in love with me. I was so happy then. I never felt so supported by my family before. Dad invited him to stay overnight which he did. I don't know why but Dad suddenly became so approving of Collin. Perhaps Dad remembered that the tragic events with Juv, the guy from the army, and Dad didn't know about you. Anyway, I thought I might just let everything go step by step..."

"You mean you forgot about me and all those you said just three weeks ago?!! I asked accusingly. "Remember what you said to me?"

"No I did not forget. But you must see, Min. Do you know that in that three weeks I experienced love that I never felt before? Do you know that I felt like we are both falling in love again just like two years ago? I can never forget that feeling. It cannot be relived. Collin has changed completely. He became neat and tidy again. He started exercising and looking after himself again. But most of all he has become a very happy guy again. He changed because of me. As for us…, you made the future for us seemed so bleak with your response that night, don’t you remember, Min?"

I buried my face in both my palms and started sobbing. I knew I had lost Jack forever and it was all my fault. Nothing I could say or do would bring him back. I just lost my love. In a short three months plus, I had loved and lost it... I just couldn't believe that people can change so fast. But I did not blame him either. I couldn't forget my first love either. And I dare say I still have special feelings for him though I know I would never want him back...

[marky]

Hope everyone's enjoying the story right now on a Sunday evening. Here's a long chapter...

Chapter 6

I closed my world to everything other than shit, sleep, and study; the three Ss of NUS life. Ken was busy himself when his Arts girlfriend demanded he spend more time with her than me. Ken relented and he spent most of his time after lessons with her. I did not tell anybody other than Ken what had happened. Ken wanted to help but he was busy himself.

I started to lead a semi-recluse life. I skipped some lectures and tutorials. Jack however was busy and he would disappear right after the last lesson to heaven knows where with Collin. Ken would do the same with his Arts girl. I was left all alone to lead my life. Some of my classmates teased me saying I had become a lone ranger but I didn't care. How would they know what’s wrong with me? How could I ever share my plight with them? Would they ever understand? So what if they could? Can they help or would they feel disgusted?

Even my family noticed my weird behavior. Mom asked me if things are all right in school. How can I tell her the truth? It will only break her heart if she knew my problem is related to a guy. Life became intolerable. I became a zombie-like creature. People would ask me why I didn't understand or remember what they said. Lectures also became so boring. Tutorial seems to come two at a time. Things just didn't go right….

The one-month break came. It was such a timely break for me to catch up on my undone tutorials. Like what most of us knew, the undergrad's life revolve around the 4 Ls : Lecture, Loo, Lunch and Love. But for me, it's minus the last L and plus another one, Loneliness….

Our project group for Pascal assignment wanted to meet almost every week to do it. I was naturally given the simplest part when Ken told the rest that I had some family problem. He is still a good friend after all. Afraid that I would hold up the group, Ken did quite some of my parts as I just couldn't solve the algorithm bugs.

"Now, let's see if you can solve the last bit yourself. It shouldn't be too difficult if you had read on those functions, Min," Ken challenged me.

"Ok, I'll give it a shot." I replied.

"That's my man. Seize the day and make more out of it!" Ken encouraged.

I stayed later than the rest to debug my part. The rest of my teammates had gone back an hour ago. I really wanted to do this final part myself. Ken had helped me a lot but then I need to learn this myself or else I would not know how to do it later in the exams. I stayed at the terminal until eight plus.

I tried quite hard until at around eight thirty when I finally solved the last problem and my part ran through smoothly. I was so happy that I shouted hooray as if I had just reached the top of a huge mountain. But really, it was an on-top-of-the-world feeling.

Suddenly a message flashed across the screen.

"Hi, still working at this hour?"

"Yes. Doing pascal assignment" I replied using the 'talk' facility to reply Karen.

"Oh! I just want to say you let out a great smile just now."

I stood up immediately and looked around the big VAX room. Karen was not in sight. [The big VAX room is at the corner of the second floor of S15, now renamed as the Programming Lab 1.]

"Hey where are you? How come you can see me and I cannot see you?"

"I can see you but you cannot see me. "

I spied at the other ten plus users in big VAX room but none of them resembled Karen in any way.

"You seem very gloomy these days. Your smile just now was simply fantastic."

"Karen, where are you?"

"Please don't ask me where I am. I won't tell you"

I was puzzled by the message. Karen normally does not talk on VAX. She was one those brilliant types who need not stay until so late too.

"You don't sound like Karen. Who are you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Karen does not stay so late and he does not use 'talk' anyway."

"You are right. I am not Karen. I am a friend of hers."

"Why are you using her account?"

"Because I want to talk to you and..."

"And what?"

"and I do not want you to know who am I"

"Huh? Why?"

"Because......"

"Because?"

"Because… I like you... and I’m a guy…"

That message came like a bolt of lightning from out of the blue. I took quite some time to register what has just happened. Did someone actually catch me with Jack being intimate in campus before?? How did this person know I’m gay!??

"Excuse me, if you are playing a prank, I advise you to stop. This is not funny."

"I am serious. I had observed you for a long time. I even know that you and Jack are no longer together."

I was shocked. No one except Ken and Jack's closest friends knew about our relationship, let alone that we broke off. I also knew that this mysterious guy was quite serious.

"Why do you use her account? You can use yours to talk to me"

"No. I rather not reveal myself. I am quite contented. Do you know that when you are gloomy, you are not the only one feeling down?"

"How come?"

"The one who likes you feels the same as you do. Do you know?" :oops:

I was pleasantly surprised. I had never imagined myself to be observed let alone liked by another guy. I was neither handsome, rich nor good in studies. Perhaps this guy saw something else in me?

"Hey, why don't you tell me who are you?"

"No. I can't. And please don't ask Karen too. And please please don't use qt80."

"What qt80?"

"Oh never mind, as i expected."

At that time I did not know what was qt80 as I seldom use VAX other than to read mails of tutorial assignments, talk to Jack, and do the Pascal assignment.

The next day when I saw Karen came back to do her Pascal assignment I observed her and even talked to her. She was either a superb actress or she really did not know what happened. I did not tell anyone about this mysterious person.

The second time the mysterious person talked to me was late at night while I was using modem to do the documentation for my part.

"Hi...pascal again?"

"Yes."

"I am NOT Karen."

"Yes I know. Karen does not own a modem. I found out that she does not even own a PC."

"Quite clever of you. Hey, can I ask you some questions?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"Why did you and Jack break up?"

"Sorry, I think it's too personal. I am very sorry."

"It's ok. I am just curious. Hey, tell me, when is your birthday?"

"It's over two months ago. What about yours?"

"Mine is at the middle of the year. May 19."

"Oh mine is 2/9. What name shall I call you?"

There was a pause before my mysterious friend continued.

"Just call me Stiggy."

"Is that you real name?"

"No. it's just a name that i like, my nick on Sgboy. Btw, how many people are there in your family?"

"You doing a family survey? *joking*"

"No. Just like to know. You mind?"

"Surely not. I have a younger sister and my parents of course. What about you?"

"Oh I have an elder brother and a younger sister."

"I see."

Our conversations lasted until quite late in the morning. I found out a lot more about 'Stiggy' now. I tried to bait him to tell me more about his name and class but he was quite careful. I gave up quickly and concentrated on trying to find out more about him.

He was from an ordinary JC and had formally taken Comp Science there. No wonder he was quite good with computers. His father is a technician and mother a housewife. Stiggy was a free thinker but he would occasionally help out with the sunday school kids at the Bishan Salvation Army Church. His hobbies included karaoke and watching movies. I also found out that he is a kind and sensitive person from the wide range of topics we talked about.

One day I was using VAX when Stiggy talked to me again. He asked me if I would be interested to go for a Raffles Affiliates outing.

"So when is the night tour?" I asked.

"On 29 Nov, after school re-opens. The night tour is over Sat night till Sunday."

"Are you going yourself?"

"I might...if you go. Then you will know who I am."

"Sure, I'll be interested to go and find out who you are."

"Then welcome! See u there!"

[marky]

Okie, last chapter for tonight. Hope everyone has enjoyed the story so far I have a reason for posting many chapters at a time. You see, the plot is quite complicated and involvesd many parties, if I had posted one chapter a day, the likelihood that you forget who a certain character is is very high, rite? Ok, here goes...

Chapter 8

I was quite curious who this Stiggy was. I signed up alone because I was afraid Ken's presence might make Stiggy feel awkward. Time passed quickly and soon Nov 29 came.

We were to wait at YIH carpark for the coach to pick us up. I waited apprehensively at the assigned location. I had never been to a night tour and I was pretty excited. I was even more excited as I was about to meet the mysterious Stiggy. I sat alone, away from the rest of the people attending the tour. It seemed I was the only Comp Science student there. Suddenly a pleasant voice called out.

"Hi! I am Desmond…. Urm.. Stiggy previously.."

I looked up and saw him. I have never seen him before. He is tan, handsome and looked quite sophisticated too. He has quite a good figure. His short bleached hair complimented his face. He wore expensive clothes too. I was puzzled and surprised.

"Are you sure you are that Stiggy I chatted with on VAX? I've never seen you before."

"Why do you always assume I am a first year? Can't I be second year? Btw, you can drop my nick now. Call me Desmond."

I was so surprised. How often do you get hit on by a senior? People always said that I had luck but I did not believe it until now. Yes, I do have luck. But then, even luck comes with efforts. I decided not to let that night slip by. I wanted to turn the it into a memorable night. The first night with Desmond.

Desmond observed that we were the only Comp Science people there. Good, we did not have to think of computers for a while. The organiser of the tour was a second year Bizad student. She tried hard to get everybody together and mix around. Of course, the two of us cliqued immediately and mixing with other people was not important to us at all.

As it was only about a month since Jack left me, I still felt dejected and lost then. I wanted someone to talk to and someone to listen to my troubles and worries. I poured out my heart to Desmond and he listened well. Perhaps it was also because of the sudden relief from loneliness that I was feeling; I felt that I could talk to Desmond like a good old friend. I told Desmond about Jack, about Ken, about how my studies suffered and about my army days....

And he was an interested listener. He was very patient and quite cultured too I think. His actions were refined. The way he smiled, the way he drank his cola, the way he walked, the way he laughed, the way he talked, the way he looked at me, the way he brushed back his hair; they all spoke of someone with good etiquette and charged with masculinity. His voice was clear and interesting. I just love watching him and listening to him. :thumb:

Like two lovers on honeymoon, we were oblivious to the outside world. We only talked to ourselves and 'took care' of our own selves. It was like a small world of our own; sitting on the coach and travelling from place to place.

Each time the coach stopped, we would be the last one to alight. Each time we left a place, we would be among the first to get up the coach to take the back seats. We had more privacy that way.

One of the places we visited was the Mohammed Sultan enclave. Fortunately there were more guys than girls on that night tour and so we had the excuse of dancing with people of the same sex without feeling awkward. It was there that I discovered that he was a good dancer. It was also there that I discovered that he actually came from rich family, not the humble background he claimed to come from earlier. He frequented upmarket F & B outlets and leisure places quite often with another of his 'high' society AJ friend. He told of me of how guys at those places always cruise them and tried dating them too. His friend was quite game and even went out with some of them. Desmond claimed he was a bit more conservative. He only went out with an army officer who was six years his senior for clubbing, or so he said.

The second last place we visited was the Jurong Central fish market. As early as 3am, people were already selling and buying fresh seafood there. We were led to a floating walkway across the warehouse because the whole place can be observed from there.

The floating walkway was high and slippery. When the 'guide' stopped at the middle of it to explain to us the various functioning of the place, Desmond discreetly held onto my elbow as if he was afraid of heights. I seized the chance too to hold his hands and we continued to do so without anyone noticing us by being at the tail end of the group.

The last place visited was Mount Faber. Some of the people were sleeping, some were talking, but most were buaya-ing I suppose. We walked to a quiet place away from the rest and settled down onto a lookout bench on a slope. It was quite far from the rest of the group. None of them could see or hear us, but we could see and hear them.

Desmond sat down beside me and we started talking about our experiences. He told me about whom he used to have fun with. And because he was quite good looking, he even landed a celebrity once too!

"But do you have any steady boyfriends before?" I asked.

Desmond looked at me and said, "What do you think?"

"Well you certainly look good and I think you have a lot of suitors."

"Do I look that good? Anyway, there aren't many. Only a few." he replied. "Hey, tell me why did you break up with Jack?"

I debated whether I should tell him the truth. Knowing that it was quite useless to keep the truth from him, I decided to tell him bits of it.

"I did not break up with him. He left me! He left me for his ex! That's why!" I said curtly. I was a bit angry and a bit sad. "I just cannot comprehend why he left me so suddenly. I just could not bring him back…."

"If he ever come back to you, will you still want him?"

I was caught off-guard by that question. I was not so sure myself. I stared out into the horizon. The blinking lights of the ships did not tell me any answer. Neither did the twinkling stars above that littered the heavens. I was confused about my own feelings towards Jack. I was angry with him for changing his mind and dumping me. But then I still loved him. I did not know the answer to the question Desmond asked.

"I suppose he would not ask me back. I still like him. But I think if he ever come back to me, I might say 'yes'. It depends on when and why he comes back to me."

"If... say tomorrow?"

"I might."

"What if it's because his ex dumps him again?"

"Then I would not."

"But what if he found out he did not love him as much as he loves you?"

I was surprised at that question. I really hoped it is true. But will he? In his own words he said that he was falling in love with Collin again. Will he do the same for me? I did not think I can hold a candle to him at all. I 'lost' to Collin in many ways.

"Min, is the question too sensitive? You know you needn't have to answer."

"It's a case I never thought of before. I don't know...."

I could sense that Desmond was a bit disappointed. I could see in his eyes that he hoped that I would say I will never go back to Jack. But then I did not want to lie to him. What else could I say?

And there was silence.... The cold morning breeze made our casual wear defenseless against the cold. Desmond folded his arms and rubbed his own elbows in a futile effort to keep warm. He seemed distant did not want to look at me. Through the sunlight that was trying to break through the horizon, I could see a tear forming at a corner of his eye. My heart just melted. I could sense that underneath that aloofness, Desmond needed someone to hold him, to prop up his lost confidence and hope. I discreetly put my arms around his shoulder, trying to shield him away from the cold breeze. He was a bit surprised and sensing he was receptive, I moved closer towards him and laid my head on his shoulder….

We were silent for about a few minutes. Both of us needed one another for warmth, both kinds of warmth....

"Min, I want to tell you I like you. You don't have to feel the same..."

"I... I like you too. It's just that I still cannot forget Jack. I mean I enjoy talking to you. I enjoy being with you. I like your company. I really hope we can be better friends and perhaps, special friends..." I offered.

"Really?" his face lit up again.

"Yes, I want to give us a try. Will you..."

He did not need words to communicate his answer and feelings. He turned around and gave me a 'side' hug with a quick peck on the cheek. I was elated. I felt so wonderful. Never has anyone kissed me so suddenly. I felt safe and secured too.

I semi-snuggled on the bench and rested my head on his lap. From where I was, I looked at his contented appearance and was very happy. I played with his short hair and also toyed playfully with his fingers. We did not need any words to communicate our feelings. Our touches were electrified and deliberated. Morning has just broken. A new day, a new chapter awaited us….

[hitchcube]

hello Marky & everyone else reading this.....

what fascinating life stories, wondering if there are plans to have some of it published?

have a look at this, which is my own appeal to people to contribute (anonymously) their personal life stories to a book I'm writing.

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=13010

pls get in touch for a no-obligations chat if you're keen? let me know......

thanks & take care!

Yangfa

email: yfleow [at] yahoo (dot) com

[marky]

Marky, It was really an eyeopener to read your real stories. As a married man, how I wish I had the guts to experience what you had. Although I am happily married with two great kids, there is a part of me that really want to have relationships with "kor Kor". In this world, it seems almost impossible to lead a double life... Regret if you do.... Regret if you dont!

Wouldnt it be great to have a world where people can readily accept PLU. Tough to even accept ourselves.

Hope you can share more stories how you can be happy in your current married life and also with others.

Thanks for sharing

Hi there,

I'm here to reply as promised

I"m glad for you when you said you are happily married with 2 kids but that you have yet to venture into the unknown. My advice to you is that if you haven't then don't. Because once you do, there's really no stopping just at one time. I can understand the temptation because I did try going cold turkey once and it lasted 6mths... the thing is we're all humans and... who's to say there will never ever be another time, rite?

I have no more true stories to post here. But as you can see, I'm still writing. And these stories that I'm posting... it would be naive to think everything is pure fiction... if you know what I mean. Kekekeke...

Ok, I wish you all the best in your life! Cheers! :thumb:

[saint80]

Hi Marky,

It was gd to read your life story...

KInda sad to hear abt it but i am glad you survived the ordeal. Guess like many pp tell me, PLU here fall in and out of love too easily...

Is there actually real love among PLU here in SG?

Envy my frenz who are attached for at least 7 yrs or so and some of them to the extend to living together.

Some who noes them each pother for more than a decade has even decided to have their own kids together... Tats wat i call true love

Hi there,

I'm here to reply as promised

I"m glad for you when you said you are happily married with 2 kids but that you have yet to venture into the unknown. My advice to you is that if you haven't then don't. Because once you do, there's really no stopping just at one time. I can understand the temptation because I did try going cold turkey once and it lasted 6mths... the thing is we're all humans and... who's to say there will never ever be another time, rite?

I have no more true stories to post here. But as you can see, I'm still writing. And these stories that I'm posting... it would be naive to think everything is pure fiction... if you know what I mean. Kekekeke...

Ok, I wish you all the best in your life! Cheers! :thumb:

[marky]

Hi Hitchcube (yangfa),

Frankly the idea of having any of my life stories published has never come across my mind simply because one may unwittingly open a can of worms even with a change of names. Everything I mentioned is quite accurate down to the last details and even with a change of names, it is quite telling so.... Nah...

However, I'd be posting some never posted before on BW 'fictional' stories from time to time. If these are interesting enough for you, then we can discuss the matter further, ok? In the meantime, here's the next installment.

Be forewarned, there are some sexual content here and if anyone is uncomfortable with anything deemed remotely gay, please hit the backspace button now.

Happy reading... :thumb:

Chapter 8

On most afternoons, after our lessons were over, we would go over to Desmond’s place to spend the rest of the afternoon studying. Dinner at his place was solid. His maid was good at Thai food. I really wondered how he kept his figure.

Sometimes we would go to a park or a good eating place. There were times when he would drive his father's car out to the nearby Upper Pierce Reservoir and he would let me drive the car along the deserted Old Upper Thomson Road. My driving license saw some good use at last.

His dad co-owned a chain of restaurants specializing in sharks’ fin soup with his uncles. No wonder he is quite knowledgeable when it came to food. Whenever we went out, he never allowed me to pay for the bill. He always said that his Dad gave him a lot of money and even if he did not spend them on dinners with me, he would have wasted it on compact discs, clothes and clubbing. Because he said that, I felt much better.

One Saturday we went to his home as usual. I noticed that he was particularly happier than normal.

"Why are you so happy? Anything up?" I asked.

"A little pre-Christmas surprise for you. You will know later." :whistle:

When we reached his place, he asked me to wait in his room. I noticed that his house was very quiet. I could only hear his Pekinese barking at me in the next room.

"Well what's up?" I asked when he returned to his room.

He put down a tray of glasses and a bottle of Absolut Vodka and held up my hands and said softly, "My parents went to Indonesia for some business. They took my little sis along. My brother has gone for ICT. I gave the maid two days off in return for a promise not to breathe a word about everything. Such chance doesn't come easily. We can..."

"Wait...why vodka?" I interrupted.

"Vodka makes you feel higher." Desmond breathed those words sexily. :twisted:

Two of us were alone in the large house. He went over to his personal Bang & Olufsen system and repeat-play some jazzy cocktail music by Diana Krall. I smiled and poured the vodka for the both of us. We savored the crystal clear liquid; it felt good and made my heart racea little....

He walked towards me and put his arms around my shoulder. I responded and put mine around his taut waist. We moved in rhythm to the bossanova music. It felt so wonderful. The music was good. The dancing partner was better. The drink was solid. The mood was fantastic…. :whistle:

I felt tipsy quite quickly and wanted to stop dancing. He seemed to be able to keep quite a cool head. I moved my hands to lift up his tight T-shirt over his head with his assistance, then dropping it onto the floor. He in turn unbuckle my belt and unbuttoning my jeans at the same time. He was such a smooth operator.

It wasn't long before there was nothing left to take off. He led me to his king-size bed. The music was still playing. We were still tipsy. Our mood was even higher and the heat was on...

Diana Krall was still belting out her songs, the vodka was working it's magic subtly, passion was flying. And everything else did not matter. Only ourselves….

*

*

*

I just could not forget that memorable weekend. We had the whole house to ourselves. We had lots of fun and tried many things we normally would not do. Desmond also proved to be an adventurous guy when it came to cooking. Even though he didn’t know how to cook, he was creative and we spent the evening making chocolate covered fruits and marshmallows over a molten pot of Verona chocolate.

He had planned all these the week before when his parents told him they would be going away for a three-day business cum sightseeing trip to Indonesia. He was certainly cool and I like that… :thumb:

[marky]

Chapter 9

One day while waiting for Desmond, I decided to log onto VAX in the IBM room to do my Cobol tutorial. I was doing halfway when I overheard a conversation in the background concerning myself and Desmond...

"You mean the one who is going out with a guy from first year is it?"

"Ya lor. The one who was driving the car one."

"So what did you see?"

"I saw them at Restaurant 360 last Sunday followed by Centro later on. That senior paid for all the bill one you know?"

"Wah... so good one. I envy the younger guy, man! He must be living off the year two guy! I wonder if there’re anything between them…"

"May be not lah. May be the older one was just returning him a treat."

"Aiyah! Whether true or not, if I am the younger guy I sure very happy one..."

“Aiyah, the truth is both of them are just as happy lah. You know ah…, Sunday night at Centro is for gays only…”

“Wah, really ah!!?? Wah lau…, what is this world coming to, man!??” :oops:

I was quite hurt at those comments. I slipped out of the room quietly and went home. I asked myself why did I have to suffer such criticism behind my back. Didn't they understand that Desmond insisted on paying the bills? Surely I could afford to pay half of it but since he will waste the money anyway, why worry?

Desmond called that night and he was quite furious that I did not wait for him that day. I gave a lame excuse and hung up. I was trying hard to forget what I heard that afternoon.

The next day I decided to apologise to Desmond. I sent him an e-mail saying I was sorry. I was quite confused as to whether to carry on the relationship. I didn’t realize that others around us had noticed the 2 of us being together more often than what 2 normal guys usually would spend together. I also began to wonder whether I was 'living off' Desmond and whether I really love him or his money.

Quite absentmindedly I sent a message to Jack although I did not know if he was logged on. To my surprise he replied quite quickly!!

"I am fine. How are you?" he asked.

"Sad lor… Very sad."

"How come? I thought you are happy with your new friend?"

"That's the problem. It's the relationship that's the problem."

"Tell you what.... wait for me at the usual Central place half an hour later, I will join you."

I sent a second e-mail to Desmond and asked him to go home himself. I took the internal shuttle bus to Central to see Jack. This time it's a different kind of feeling. A feeling that was quite opposite of the last time I went to Central to see him.

"So what's your problem?" he asked.

"I realized the people here knows about Desmond and myself being a couple and some think I am 'living off' him"

"How did you know that?"

"I overheard yesterday. What they said was quite true too."

"What do you mean living off?"

"I mean Desmond paid for all our expenses. I volunteered to pay sometimes but he wanted to. He is quite rich actually. I did not think of that until those remarks I heard yesterday woke me up."

"Well, if both of you are sincere then it's ok. Don't give up so easily."

"The problem is that I myself don't know if I really like him or the money he spent on me. Tell me, what would you do?"

"Actually I am not much better. Collin's friends seem to think that I am with him for his money. I felt hurt too but I didn't care; I love him and he loves me. That's all I care."

"That's because both of you are quite sure of yourselves. For me, I am not quite sure. Since you left me, I have not been able to love another person as fully as I should. I have really lost my ability to love again. I really feel bad."

I quickly stop myself from continuing with what I wanted to say; I did not mean to say those earlier words but they just blurted out on their own. Jack was visibly shocked. He looked at me with teary eyes and then looked down onto the table again.

I clasped his hands in mine and apologized softly.

"You don't have to be sorry. I am the one who should say sorry. I was the one who gave you so much trouble."

He only realised this too late. Then gently, he took my hands and kissed them. He was still so sweet, so gentle. His eyes spoke volumes of sorrows and regret. For a moment, I really wanted to tell him to come back to me once more. I still love him… more than I ever loved Desmond...

Just then, I heard footsteps coming towards me. I looked up and saw Desmond heading towards our position. Jack pushed my hands from his lips and withdrew them but Desmond had seen it all. Tears as well as anger welled up in his eyes as he stood there staring in disbelief.

"I tried to look for you when I received your first e-mail. I wanted to say that I accept your apology personally but when I located your whereabout, I saw you leaving the IBM room in a hurry. I followed. I suspected you are going to see Jack. And I was right!" Desmond muttered in a stern and disappointed tone.

I was quite shock by his revelation.

"I hid behind the book shelf and watched the two of you. I really don't mind if the two of you just talk. But he kissed your hands and you can deny you allowed him to..." Desmond’s eyes began to turn red.

At this time we were attracting quite an attention. I felt uneasy. Jack was embarrassed and he regretted his earlier action. Both of us sat there feeling remorseful and guilty. Both of us did not say any word. :oops:

"Min, do you love him or do you love me?" Desmond asked painfully.

"I….." I did not know how to reply. On one hand I was afraid to disappoint Desmond. On the other hand I had wanted to use the situation to tell Jack that I still love him sincerely.

Desmond stood there expecting a quick reply. I just stared at the table. Jack was looking at me, half afraid of the reply. I knew he would want me to go back to Desmond but I wanted to tell him I love him.

Desmond closed his eyes and said, "I think I know your reply; your silence says it all. I can only say that I was wrong about your feelings. I was wrong in my judgement. I was just too hopeful... too naive..."

He tried to stop his sobbings but failed. "Min, I love you but you love Jack more, right?" Desmond asked again. Then he tried to fake a smile but it was futile. "Why am I still standing here? I... I got to go." he said tearfully and ran upstairs.

Jack was quite shocked. He looked at me again.

"Min, I really don't know what to say to you. I am sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have."

He need not say sorry. That kiss from him was worth all that trouble in my eyes. I realized now that I love him much more than I ever loved Desmond. But then, will it help? It was too late anyway.

Just then Collin came along. He was more controlled than before. He saw us and walked over. He still look as good as before.

"Am I disturbing both of you? Hey, how come there are people looking at both of you?"

"No. Min had some problems that we were trying to solve."

"Oh! I just wanted to remind you that the show will start soon and we must hurry."

"Min, I think need to go now. I am sorry. Talk to me again if you have any problem that I can help. See you."

Collin wanted to hold Jack’s hand but he withdrew his. I stared at their images as they walked down the staircase.

I did not know how long I stared at the staircase. I only found myself weeping silently sometime later. It was quite unbelievable. At one moment I was with two guys whom I like very much. The next moment both of them left me. It was a strange feeling.

Strange thoughts began to cross my mind. Perhaps I was meant to be single. Perhaps I was fated to have only temporary friends only. Perhaps all happy endings are not meant for me... Perhaps….

[marky]

Chapter 10 (Right click here)

Greeting cards have all been sent

The Christmas rush is through

But I still have one more wish to make

A special one for you

Merry Christmas Darling

We're apart that's true

But I can dream and in my dreams

I'm Christmas-ing with you… (Merry Christmas Darling)

Life was back to 'normal'. It was a silent and uneventful Christmas week for me. A friend had tried to ask me to go to his church but I was too sad even to consider. I only wanted to spend some time alone, sorting out my thoughts and feelings. It was a difficult week to pass through. I wanted to call Jack, but I knew he had better company. I wanted to call Desmond too, but I supposed he did not want to talk to me anymore, at least for that week.

Many people had New Year resolutions. So did I. But will it ever come true? Will it be realized? I prayed silently that it would.

When term resumed in the new year, I was even more miserable. It was very sad to see Jack so happy without me. It was even harder when I saw Desmond sad and dejected. He seemed to be avoiding me. I felt so close to them, yet so far. Just too far to even talk.

I decided to call Desmond at this home after the first week. He picked up the call himself.

"To what do I owe this honor?" he said curtly.

"Why do you say this? Can't I just call?"

"I do not wish to talk to you or anything about this. Please don't call me anymore."

"Wait... I really want to say I was sorry. Yes I really do like Jack but that doesn't mean I don't like you."

"So?"

"Nothing. I also want to tell you that I was very sad at that time so Jack consoled me. We talked about our relationship. About some problems I was facing."

"Problems? What problems? Please explain."

"I was confused as to whether I like you or your money. I hate to like you for your money but that could be true. But I must say I was very happy with you."

"Huh? Why don't you tell me this? Why can't you discuss this with me before you discuss with Jack!? Am I a spare tyre in your eyes!!?"

"No... it's just that I find that I am better in relating my problems to him. I think he understands me a lot. I just wanted to discuss our problems with him."

"So what? Does he have to kiss your hands?"

"Why are you so possessive?"

"Possessive? Would you like another guy to hold your boyfriend's hand, let alone kiss it?"

"But he and me were very close once."

"But that does not give you any reason to do that! If you really love only me, then you would not allow that to happen! The truth is I didn't even figure in your mind at that moment!!"

Desmond was right. I love Jack too. And I know he still have some affection for me. It's just that he loves Collin more than me. The conversation did not last for more than ten minutes. I have explained to Desmond what happened. I did not expect him to come back. Perhaps I only like him, not love him...

I was miserable for a long time. Life was just so boring. Somehow I did not miss Desmond much, but I kept thinking of Jack. Somehow I just hoped that Jack would know that someone else other than Collin is thinking of him every hour, every minute. Would the heavens be kind enough to tell him please? He ought to know how I feel for him. But then it was no use. He was happy the way he was.

The examinations were approaching fast. I found it quite hard to concentrate on my studies. Ken tried to help me too but each time I would decline his help. I just wanted to spend my time alone. I would daydream of my own prince whom I will meet someday and we would live happily ever after. It was very silly but that's better than reality. It was only in my dream that I had someone I loved and someone who loved me too. Reality is always harder to take, harder to accept. It is also harsher and cruel. Somehow I learnt to believe only in dreams and learnt not to trust reality…

I focused my attention on my studies and my dream. The examinations came quickly and passed even quicker. It was not before long that I found myself with so much extra time. I did not need to go back to serve my remaining time in the army unlike some of my poor classmates. I had a lot of time to myself. Too much, in fact. However, the extra time also began to make me feel very lonely. My mind began to work out of control again. Images of Jack and Desmond came a flashing. I felt so bad and was unable to concentrate on anything I do. Luckily it was after the examinations or else I would be in trouble.

I tried to get my mind off from such relationship things by looking for a job. I looked up the newspaper and found a job as a part-time tutor in a famous overseas educational centre. I taught O-level maths and physics.

Life began to get better as my mind was off from relationship problems. I taught 6 times a week to 43 classes. It was only at night and weekends that I got time on my hands. During the day I would either stay at home or go out with Ken and his girlfriend occasionally. Life was slowly getting better….

[marky]

Is the plot complicated enough? How about if another character is being introduced here? Hahaha.... Happy Reading :thumb:

Chapter 11

One day I reached the education center earlier than usual. The staff that worked during the day had not gone off work yet. I noticed a particular attractive girl. She has short hair and her eyes were quite big and beautiful. Her skin is tan and healthy. Despite being a little on the plump side, she still looked quite good.

I approached her and sat at the customer chair. She saw me and started to speak to me.

"Interested in signing for a course?" she asked.

"Ehh...yes."

"What level are you in?"

"O-level lor..."

She stared at me with disbelieve for a while; she must be suspecting that I was too old to be an O-level student. :whistle:

"What subjects are you interested to be tutored on?"

"Ehh..A Maths and E Maths lor…."

"Sorry. The classes are full already. What about other subjects like Physics and Geography?"

"Physics lor..."

"Your name please?"

I told her my name; she looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. Then she stood up, excused herself and went over to a filing cabinet and took out a file labeled 'Employee Particulars'. She flipped through and then stopped. She looked at me angrily and walked back to the reception desk.

"Are you trying to be funny? You are an employee aren't you!?" :swear:

"Well, I am. I only want to talk to you mah..."

She was furious when she heard this. She looked at me sternly and said, "You want me to complain to the manager?"

I was startled. I did not expect her to be so fierce. I apologized to her and left for my class quickly, full of embarrassment. :oops:

The next day I went early just like the day before. I wanted to catch a glimpse of her and perhaps to say sorry again.

She was there at her reception desk as usual. I sat down in front of her.

"Want to take up tuition again is it?" she asked in an annoyed tone. :yuk:

"Well, this time is different. Now I want to ask give you an apology and I want to treat you to dinner or supper."

She smiled and replied "You have already said sorry yesterday. No, I do not go out with strangers. I am very sorry."

She looked so sweet when she smiled again. She was being diplomatic but then her smile was neverthe less great. Somehow her reaction was quite different from yesterday.

"You can read my particulars from the employees file if you want. Then we would not be strangers right?" I asked cheekily.

She gave a half-smile and said "No. Thank you very much. I am very flattered. Perhaps some other time.". Her body language gestured me to get lost.

I got up from the chair with a bruised ego. She was so nice. She declined me with style though not so gently. I like her style.

I went ahead with my teaching. When lessons were over at 9pm, I bade the students goodbye and packed up my stuff. When I pass the reception, I noticed her still sitting there. I walked over to the waiting area.

"Hi, aren't you going back?" I asked.

"I am waiting for you."

I was quite pleasantly surprised. "Do I have the honor to send you back?"

She smiled sweetly and we left the place together. I learnt that she really looked at my particulars and was satisfied that I had come from a 'clean' background. We introduced ourselves and that was when she mention her name as Ting Wei.

"So is this your permanent job?" I asked her.

"No. Like you I am waiting for my first year Mass Comm results."

"Oh, then we are on the same boat right?!" I was elated.

Ting Wei smiled. We walked passed the Kopitiam, at the Plaza By The Park, which was still bustling with life and vigor.

"Hey, want to have supper or late dinner?" I asked.

"I had my dinner liao. Supper will do. Nothing too oily please.."

I treated her to rojak. We talked on a wide range of topics and discussed many 'issues' at great length. I learnt that her father was deceased and her mother was supporting two children. Her elder brother is in Engineering in NUS. She needed to earn her own pocket money herself. She also had to pay part of her own Ngee Ann Poly tuition fees. That was why she was working then. Quite a remarkable girl…

"Have you had any boyfriend?"

"Yes, but that was some time ago… we broke off one year ago."

"Oh I am sorry."

I was curious why they broke off. I asked her, "Who initiated it?"

"Him." she said matter-of-factly.

"You are quite beautiful and nice too. Why did he want to break off with you?"

"I don't know. Ask him lor."

I liked her reply. Perhaps she did not want to reply me. Perhaps the guy really dumped her for another girl, just like Jack during his first relationship. Or perhaps it was she who left him.

After supper I volunteered to send Ting Wei back. She agreed. We took a bus to her place in Toa Payoh North. I also insisted to send her right to her doorstep.

"Well, we have reached my door. Thank you for you treat."

"You are very welcome. I hope we can get together again. Can we?"

She did not say anything. She just smiled and opened her door and went inside. Before she closed the door she whispered,

"Tomorrow same time, same place. My treat. See you."

We went out a few times after my lessons. We got to know each other quite well. I learnt that Ting Wei did not want to commit herself to another relationship. I also found out that my liking for her was quite superficial and purely platonic. Afterall, I know my orientation well. I just needed some companionship and she was there at the right time and place. She was like a good colleague to me. A good confidant. A good friend. A very good friend indeed as I learnt later on….

We would talk about our own experiences in love. I told her about Jack and Desmond. And yes, I outed myself to her. She in turn told me about her weakness. She said that one failure was enough for her. She did not want to experience another.

"Why are you so afraid to try again?"

"Because I do not want to fail again." She replied.

Ting Wei was quite stubborn. She just refused to change. I tried to tell her not to shut herself out of this world.

"But if you don't try, you will never succeed!"

"But if I do not try, I will never fail!" she snapped back quickly. Her eyes glaring at me. They were quite fierce and they burned deep into mine.

"You are stubborn and hot-tempered." I retorted.

I waited for her to cool down a bit before asking her "How did you know him?"

"Who? Him?"

I nodded my head. I was really curious about him and her relationship.

"He was my secondary schoolmate. We went steady in our 3rd year. We were quite immature then. We believed in all the things that romance will bring when we don't even know what love is. Such were the days then. He was good to me. One day in the middle of our second year, a friend saw him going out with another girl. I questioned him about it and he admitted it. He lied to me earlier that he was going for his ECA. I forgave him. I was quite foolish to let him go like that."

Sometimes wisdom eludes me. I just do not understand why the guy would want to cheat her when I find her so wonderful and perfect.

"We went on as nothing happened. Then one day nearing the prelims, I discovered that he went out with the girl again. This time it was to a park near our school. When I confronted him again, he said that the girl needed someone to help her in her schoolwork as the exams were near. I was furious. I mean, she could have asked other guys for help, why must she ask him to help? I told him that we were finished and that he had used his only chance. We did not talk for many days after that. And neither did he bother to call... That's when I knew we were truly over...."

I could see the tears forming in her eyes as she related the story. I pitied her for being cheated the second time...

Edited May 1, 2009 by marky

[marky]

The previous chapter is too long so here's the continuation. Happy reading and happy holidays...

Chapter 12

"Just after the prelims, he asked me out. He said he wanted to give me back my things. I thought it was true and I agreed to meet him. We met at the park near our school and there he pleaded me to go back to him. He said 'I really can't live without you. I promise not to see her again'. At first I was not taken by his pleas. Then he went over to the middle of the road and stood at the bend. He said that unless I agree, he would not come back to the pavement. I thought he was joking. Just then, a truck really came by quite fast. I shouted to him to jump aside but he was too shocked to react. Luckily the truck managed to stop in time and only knocked him gently. He was quite shaken. I was so touched by his sincerity to change that I forgave him immediately.

"We continued to be together as before and even grew closer after the 'O' levels. We indulged in light pettings occasionally. Shortly he was due for enlistment. After his enlistment, I found work as a temporary relief teacher.

"Every weekend we would go out. Times were quite good. Until after his posting to the NCO school. He would come back home and refuse to go out with me, saying that he was very tired. Sometimes I would go over to his house to see him. We would talk about his 'punishment' during training and about his unreasonable instructors. I would also help him to pack his 'barang barang' for his next book-in. Life was quite okay. Then one day..."

She was really sobbing now. When I first knew Ting Wei, she was a fierce and 'strong' type of woman. But now under such emotional strain she just broke down. Girls are still girls after all.

"One day I couldn't get through to him. I thought his phone is damaged so I went over to visit him unannounced. I was at the foot of his block when I saw that same girl with him again. I was so angry. I ran over and stopped them right in their tracks. Both of them were quite shocked to see me.

"She winced when she saw me raising my hand to slap him. He just stood there without moving. Then she said smugly to me, 'Roy does not want you because you are too hot tempered. You are just not feminine enough. You cannot give him what I can. You are not fit to be his girlfriend.'

"I was so angry that I slapped her as well. She looked so shocked and then she broke down and cried. Roy slapped me back in retaliation. I was so humiliated, angry and sad. I stood there and cried too. No one has ever slapped me before. Roy stood there and looked at the both of us. Both of us were crying. But he eventually went to her and pacified her, holding her in his arms. I felt so neglected, so humiliated, so unwanted and so unloved. I ran away from the place, from both of them. It was quite obvious that he has chosen her over me. From then on, I've never heard from Roy or her again, even until now."

"If he wanted to leave me because he did not like my temper, he could have told me. I could have changed. I am still thinking of what that girl said when she said that I cannot give him something that she could. I just don't know the real reason why he left me for her."

So that was how she broke of with her boyfriend. She was quite right when she said that she did not know why her ex-boyfriend wanted to 'leave' her by going out with the second girl because she still cannot control her own temper. She also did not know that her temper can really make her lose out in this world. She is also quite an independent person, a threat to some guys.

"I tried to change myself as much as I can but it was too hard. I wanted to learn how to tolerate others. I tried hard. The other day when you came over and played a prank on me, I was quite angry. The next day I tried to show you that I had 'forgiven' you by accepting you treat. Please don't be angry. I think I have lost my first boyfriend this way. Believe me, I really want to change but...."

It was quite sad to see her crying. I did not know how to console her. I am not good with words. I just held her in my arms. She said later that she wanted to learn how to control her temper to keep her relationship in control....

*

*

*

There was once when we went to a hawker center after classes. By then she had become my faghag of sorts. She asked me more about Jack. I told her how we met and why we were not together. I also told her about Collin.

"So he preferred you to Collin?" she asked.

"Must be lor. If not he would be with me by now."

"Min, you have not really shown or showered Jack with concern. Collin did. Collin is willing to hunger himself for Jack and willing to change for him. Will you?"

That question really stumped me. I have never thought of that. I searched my mind and could not find any thing 'sacrificial' that I did for Jack that I can boast about. I only realized this too late.

"But Jack has quite a colorful past. He may look innocent and vulnerable but he already had 3 relationships before me!" I tried to defend myself.

Ting Wei, didn't retort. What she did next totally took me by surprise; she began singing a Carpenter's tune..

I know I need to be in love...

I know I've wasted too much time...

I know I asked perfection in a quite imperfect world...

And fool enough to think that's what I'll find... (Click here)

I was stumped once again. The lyrics hit me straight in my heart... Then she continued speaking,

"If you really love Jack, then you should not mind his past mistakes. You should forgive him. You should even sacrifice your precious time and efforts for him. You had been too stubborn. When you decided to put everything on hold, he must really felt unwanted and hungered for love. He hoped you would say yes but you did not."

"How would you know?" I asked. I was half-regretting what I did not do then.

"Min, I am a girl. I am more sensitive to these things. You... on the other hand are quite insensitive like a block of wood. You should have said yes if you really loved Jack then."

I regretted my action that fateful evening at the Marina Bay. I only realized that I really love Jack later but of course, all was too late then. And of course, there is no hope now….

"Collin came along and filled the void. Jack is human too. As you said, he's the emotional and passionate type; someone who gives easily and receives easily. Such people are easy prey for others who make use of them."

I nodded in agreement.

"Jack needed love, care and concern during that period. Collin came along and showed Jack he is sincere and he accepted it. You were just too slow in actions and in realizing your true feelings."

I looked at Ting Wei's eyes. They were sincere and true. I was grateful for her lesson in love but it was all too late.

"You can forget about everything now and start over a new leaf. Find a new person if you want." Ting Wei suggested.

"No, not now. Jack is still very much alive in me. I still love him.... If I could do it all over again I would change history. I really would. I still love him." I thought to myself…

Edited May 1, 2009 by marky

[marky]

Chapter 14

The first year results for both NUS and the Polys were released. Ting Wei did quite well. Ken passed well too. I on the other hand had a re-paper. I was actually quite happy considering my state of mental condition and the amount of work I put in. Still, Ting Wei and myself went to Keyaki, the Japanese restaurant with a beautiful manicured garden and a large Koi pond at the Pan Pacific Hotel to celebrate. It was quite expensive but we had earned ourselves a tidy sum and also this occasion really called for a celebration.

Just when we were about to eat, I saw Collin coming into the restaurant with Jack tailing behind; he seemed quite haggard and tired. Jack saw me but Collin did not. We smiled at each other when they passed the section where we were seated. They found themselves a place at another corner of the restaurant.

I observed them but I did not tell Ting Wei about it. I saw them talking with animated gestures. Jack seemed to be angry with him but Collin did not seem to care. At one point Jack stood up and Collin yanked his arms forcefully and fiercely to make him sit down. Jack relented and seemed to be sobbing inside himself.

I continued talking to Ting Wei about how I intend to spend the rest of my holiday. I told her I would spend my second last week in Bali with Ken.

Suddenly I heard Jack shouting "THEN WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME AGAIN!?". A few of those patrons of the restaurants looked at them for a while. Collin was embarrassed and he said something to Jack, perhaps trying to cool him down and they continued to talked for a while.

"YOU LIAR! YOU LIAR! YOU SAID THAT THE LAST TIME! I WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOU AGAIN. AND I AM GOING TO LEAVE YOU! YOU HEAR ME!? I AM GOING TO LEAVE YOU AND YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET THIS!" Jack stood up and shouted again.

This time Collin also stood up and left the table without even saying a word to Jack. He was quite embarrassed and decided to leave the scene. Jack was left crying alone behind at the table. It was quite a scene…

I looked at Ting Wei and told her "Ting, that's Jack over there. I think Collin and him just had a quarrel. Collin left already and Jack is crying. I am going over to take a look."

"I'll come along." She offered.

We walked over to Jack’s table, ignoring all those curious stares around us.

"Jack, what happened?" I asked.

Jack looked up and shook his head with his eyes tightly closed as if ashamed of the whole situation.

"Tell me, tell me what had happened. Did Collin make you angry?" I asked.

He nodded his head silently while still sobbing away. Amidst his crying he said "Collin is seeing that rich girl again. I asked him to stop but he refused. He said it was only once but I actually had friends who saw them together a few times. He even said that it was his and the rich girl's business, not mine and that he is at liberty to do anything he likes."

Ting Wei touched my hand and whispered "Now is your chance Min. Take it." I took her cue and sat down beside Jack. Ting Wei was still standing beside us.

"Jack, please don't cry. When you cry, you make someone who still loves you very sad too." :oops:

Jack’s sobbing reduced to sniffing immediately. He looked up at me with his wet eyes. They were even more beautiful this way. Those sparkling, penetrating and vulnerable eyes…

"You... I don't understand what you mean." he said weakly, trying to think clearly.

"Jack, listen. After you left me, my heart almost went with you until Desmond came along. He filled the void that you created. But still, I could not forget you. I still thought of you and that day when I wanted to discuss my relationship with Desmond, he saw us and as you know, he wanted me to choose between you and him. I chose you... I have always loved you. I am bad in expressing my feelings… I’ve lost you once and I’m not about to loose you ever again… I want you to know now that I love you very much."

At this moment Jack began to sober up. He wiped his eyes dry and looked into my eyes. I fixed my gaze on him too. After a while he looked down as if he had nothing to comment on my earlier confessions of love. I was quite disappointed and felt all hope was lost…

"Min, please excuse both of us. I want to have a talk with Jack." Ting Wei motioned me to get back to our own table.

I did not know what Ting Wei wanted to say to Jack but I went back to my table and sat there, eating the already cold food.

I spied Jack shaking his head a few times while Ting Wei did most of the talking. Finally she came over and said "Min, I've tried my best. Go over to Jack now."

"What did both of you talk about?"

"Ask him yourself. Go now, I'll be waiting here." She smiled.

I went over quickly. Jack did not want to look at me in the eyes. He seemed to be avoiding eye contact. He had become shy again.

"Jack, what did Ting Wei say to you?"

"She... she told me about your true feelings towards me. I am quite grateful for that. I appreciate that. Thanks…. She also asked me to consider loving you again. I..."

I was grateful to Ting Wei too for communicating my feelings and helping me. I just hoped Jack would just say yes. I prayed silently inside me….

"I don't know what to do. Please give me some time. I need to think this all over again. I really need to. I am quite confused…."

"Ok, I will wait for your reply. But remember this Jack, I have never cheated on you and my feelings for you did not change since the first day we met. It had waned a little here when you left but it is getting stronger and stronger again. My heart will always follow you wherever you go. You know that."

"I... I know. But..." Jack cut himself short....

[marky]

Chapter 14

We sent him back that night. Jack was quite weak physically and emotionally. Apparently he has not slept much in the past 3 days fretting over what Collin was doing behind his back. Ting Wei supported him most of the time. I did not dare to hold him much because I know if I did I would not want to let go.

The following evening, one of Jack's close friends, Kenny, called me.

"Min! You’re Jack’s good friend? He tried to commit suicide! He had an over dosage of sleeping pills. The doctors are trying to cleanse his stomach at SGH now. Hurry!"

I took a cab. It was 11pm. When I reached there, I saw his parents and little sister with Kenny who called me outside the emergency room. They looked worried. I went over and joined them. I was very frightened that the worst would happen. I prayed silently to the heavens to save him. Jack was just a victim of love. Oh God... please don't let him die...

After half an hour of anxious waiting, a few hospital staff came out of the emergency room. One of them spoke to us.

"There is nothing to worry now. The patient is fine but quite weak. We had cleansed and flushed his stomach and removed the drugs already. By the way, who gave him those sleeping pills?"

"Erm… They are actually my wife's. Her doctor prescribed them to her when she complained of insomnia." Jack's father replied.

"I see. Anyway, there is nothing much to worry for now. But if I were you, I’d be more concerned with his mental health. I hope you guys can give him all the mental support he needs. He will have to stay in the hospital for a few days to be observed. After that, he can go home."

We were all so relieved. I advised Jack's parents and Kenny to go back home. His parents were old and were quite tired from this sudden ordeal. And I knew they had met me before and had learnt to accept me as a close friend of their son.

I walked by the side when the nurse pushed Jack's roller bed to a ward. The nurse told me that I could go back too but I preferred to stay. I sat beside him; he was still unconscious. I just wanted to stay a little while longer with him… just in case he needed someone there. Just in case I might never get to see him again if such things were to happen once more. And now I realized how precious time with another person you love is while we are still alive….

A policeman came shortly. He was directed by the nurse to Jack's bed.

"Is this the guy who tried to commit suicide?"

"Yes, but he is sleeping now. Can I help you?"

"I need to take a statement. What is your relation to him?"

"I..." I pondered for a while. I had suddenly forgotten what my relation to him was. At the same time I did not want to make a fool of myself in front of the policeman.

"I… erm.. I am his good friend." I replied. :oops:

"I see. Can you tell me exactly what you know about the facts of this case? Wait... your name first, please?"

After giving my statement, I stayed on. I spent the night with Jack. He slept quite peacefully, except that he woke up once to ask for water. I gave it to him and he went back to sleep immediately. The duty nurse there was quite relieved that she had one less patient to take care of.

The next day Jack woke up at 10am. He looked a bit tired but after the nurse brought him to wash up, his face looked radiant again.

"The nurse told me you stayed here whole night." Jack muttered weakly. Every single word he uttered seemed labored….

"Yes... I just wanted to be with you."

Jack was silent for a while. He looked out of the window and stared at the buildings in the distance. Suddenly he broke down and cried. I quickly rushed over to his side and hugged him tightly..

"Ssshhhh… yes Jack, cry your heart out. I won't stop you. If you want to tell me anything, just say. I am here for you. Ssshhhh….."

Jack sobbed even louder. He finally released his emotional floodgate and let the torrents of pent up emotions inside him pour out. I sat on his bed and held him tightly in my arms not giving a damn if anyone should suddenly walk in. He cried for quite some time. When his crying finally reduced to sobbing, I asked,

"Why did you do such a silly thing?"

"I just don't know… All I ever wanted was to lead a simple and uncomplicated life… to have someone to love and who would love me dearly in return… I just hate myself for being so naive to fall for him again. He cheated me again. I just hate myself for being so worthless and stupid. I hate myself. I lost confidence in everything because it seems that my love life is always in a mess. I just wanted to die and let go of everything."

"No. You should not say that. Do you know if you leave there would be many people who will be very sad? Think about how your parents will react. Think about who will take care of them. Think about your little sister. Who is going to guide her?"

"I don't know."

"But most of all Jack. If you leave, someone will be very sad because he loves you very much. Don't you see? Without Collin, you will still have me! And why do you make those who love you so much so sad? Your parents love you, and I love you too, very much."

"Isn't it too late that I know now?"

"No Jack. We can start all over again."

"I... I need time to think over again. I can't answer you right now. I need to think carefully this time."

"I know. I also hope you don't foul up your next relationship. Whether with me or not. I will wait for you reply."

I don't know if what I said was correct. Jack started sobbing again. After a while, he stopped. He kept quiet for a long time. A short while later, his parents came to visit him.

I had stopped my teaching temporary to be with Jack. Jack also had a re-paper in a CS subject. We revised together in the hospital initially until he became fit enough to leave the place. I went to his place to continue our preparation for our re-paper. Ken came to help once in a while. After every 'revision' day, I would stay for dinner. I think I had finally built a good rapport with his parents.

Collin did not call Jack ever again. Perhaps Collin had decided to take the straight path once again and had made used of that night as a reason to dump Jack again. Ting Wei was very supportive. She encouraged me and taught me how to win Jack heart again, only this time it was much harder.

[marky]

We've finally reached the end of the story. To enjoy this last chapter better, do try to listen to the music. Happy reading

Chapter 15 (Finale)

The supplementary examinations came and went. We went out many times after our re-papers. The four of us: Ken, Ting Wei, Jack and me. Each time we went out, I would be extra careful not to look him directly into his eyes or even touch him. Ken and Ting Wei noticed that too but they did not tease me about it. They understood me. They were wonderful friends.

The supplementary examination results were released just before the new academic year. Both of us passed. :clap: We went out to celebrate that very day, the three of us and Ken of course. That day also coincided with Jack's twenty-first birthday. Ken and Ting Wei had specially arranged a bowling session in Marina South for the four of us.

It was first time bowling for all of us other than Ken, the playful one. I saw a jukebox machine there. I dedicated the song "I'll Take Care Of You" (Right click here) to Jack, with Ken's and Ting Wei's support of course. I even sang along with the song to Jack. He was quite touched and happy.

Later in the evening we went to the nearby food center for a steamboat buffet dinner. The food was okay and we had a great time. After dinner Ken took out a cake. I brought out my present too. It was a hand-made card and a framed-up sketch of Jack that I had drawn. He was a bit surprised to see it.

"I am really impressed Min. It's not exactly like me but I like it very much. Thank you."

After he said that, I gave him a bouquet of 21 pink roses in full bloom. :oops:

“Er… I know it’s kinda odd for a guy to be receiving flowers but I really don’t know how else to show my true love for you…” I stuttered awkwardly… :oops:

Jack looked up at me sweetly and said, "It’s okay… I understand and appreciate all these very much… This is the first time you gave me flowers."

It was quite remarkable how he remembered when someone did what for him. I did not know how he does it but I guess he treasured every happy moment he has had and remembered them all.

Ken and Ting Wei had arranged for the cake to be brought there by another of their good friend, Alvin. Alvin came and joined us for dinner too. That night, after cutting the cake Jack made a wish. Ken asked him what his wish was but he shied away. Upon further prodding by Ting Wei, he finally confessed,

"I wish that Min and I can start all over again." :oops:

I was so happy. It was quite hard to believe that he has agreed to give our relationship another try. Finally he has agreed!!! :thumb:

Ken and Ting Wei gave him a present each. Suddenly an idea struck my mind.

"Jack, I have one more thing for you."

"Oh... what is it?"

He looked around, trying to find what I had for him.

"What I have is what money cannot buy. For this twenty-first birthday of yours, I am giving you my heart and myself. Do you want it?"

There was a sense of déjà vu then; only a reversal role here. It was Jack who asked me that question barely nine months ago at Marina Bay.

Jack smiled sweetly and gave me a hug and a kiss. That was the first time I touched him after so long. It was really a 'warm' one and I was thrilled. I remembered every moment of it even to this day.

Ken, Ting Wei and Alvin who brought the cake went back in Alvin's car, deliberately leaving us behind. I appreciated that very much.

Like two new lovers, we walked clumsily towards the bus-stop under the bright moonlit night. The moon and the stars looked as if they had gathered to rejoice with us on the occasion of this happy reunion. Yes, there were two less lonely souls in the world that very evening…. I would seize any opportunity to hold his hand and he would withdraw his whenever we saw people approaching our direction. Like new lovers who do not know what to do, we stumbled with words and actions. It was like falling in love all over again for the very first time….

We've tried our hand at love before.

We've been around the game enough to know the score.

But then is then, and now is now.

And now is all that matters anyhow.

Make believe it's your first time, leave your sadness behind.

Make believe it's your first time, and I'll make believe it's mine... (Make Believe It’s Your First Time – The Carpenters)

When second year started, we went out to the hop and jams as like last year. This time it's the three of us. Ken, Jack and me. Ting Wei had gone back to Ngee Ann Poly.

And second year was busier than first year. There were more projects and most of our time was spent on tutorial and projects. We were quite busy but we still took time out to go to the movies and stroll in the parks or beaches, just Jack and me.

Soon the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. And our relationship remained as strong as ever. Before we knew it, we were already into our final year in campus. It was the day just after the final exams and we were at the Marina Bay once more like we did 3 years ago. Nothing seemed to have changed much over there and we even managed to sit where we sat that very evening…

The moon and the stars looked as if they knew we would return some day and they had faithfully waited to cast their glittering light on us as we celebrate our love for each other that evening. Silently, I said a prayer in my heart thanking the heavens for bringing Jack into my life. And as we were cuddling close together while watching the little boats pass by us, I suddenly turned and asked Jack, "Jack, how much do you love me?"

He was surprised at the question. He pondered for a while and replied.

"When I first fell in love, it was with Collin. He left me for another 'better' person. I do not know how he measured better. But he thought he would be better with her. Maybe because he still wasn’t sure of his identity yet. I see that he is someone who goes to where he thinks is better for him, quite selfish.”

"The second one is the 26yo working guy I told you about. We could actually strike it off but he left me after he knew I cheated him. I guessed he must be pretty angry with me. I really have nothing against him at all. It was me who fouled up everything.”

"The third one, Juv, sacrificed so much for me. He cared a lot for me too. But he died in his foolishness I think. I owed him and his family a lot. He was the only son you know. I can never forget him.”

"The last one was you. You are the only one whom I like right from the beginning. For the others, I sort of grew to learn to love them over a period of time. You are different. And all of them left me. But you are the one whom I left. Yet you still wanted to come back to me after a year. I was touched. You have shown me your love to be true and persistent, and I have known you better. More importantly, I find myself falling in love with you again. This time it's stronger and more assured. I am more confident of myself now. It is also you that I missed the most when I was not with you. Do you know?

"Also, when I was with you, I did not think of the other guys at all. Only the one who died for me but I guess that was because of guilt. When Collin came to me again, I was happy. But I guess that was because I thought I had found a lost love again. And at that time, I was so sad that you said you wanted to wait. Do you know that I was very sad that you said that?"

I winced at his words. They pierced me right through my heart. I regretted what I did not do then.

"Anyway, Collin did treat me well at first. But he sort of became overly possessive and selfish later. Do you know that once he did not turn up at an appointment because one of his friends delayed him at the earlier appointment? He could have called me since he was picking me up but then he did not. I mean, if he could do that once, he could also do that again sometime later. He put his other friends before me and also he did not allow me to see some of my friends whenever our appointments clashed.”

"The last straw came when I found out he cheated me again, the second time. You know what happened after that. He made me leave him because he wanted to leave me.

"In all those previous relationships, it was them who left me. I did not leave any of them except you. I was one who is quite contented to be loved.

"But for you, it is different. It is only after so long, almost a year for me to see that your love for me is true. That there is an assurance that you will stay with me in the long run. The chemistry between us is strong. Tell me, won't you be happy? Won't you love someone who cares so much for you? Won't you love someone who has sacrificed so much for you? Won't you love someone who loves you so much?"

"Yes I will. Very much."

"Tell me, how much you love me?"

"How much? I have waited for a long time for you to come back to me. I have been through many things that teach me how to love. And I did things that only true love will do."

I stared at Jack. I know that this time, he has found his real love, and I mine, because in his eyes, I saw true love. And we got up to walk; hand in hand, with the past behind our backs and the future smiling warmly ahead of us…. (Right click here)

Two old friends

Meet again

Wearin' older faces

Talk about the places they've been

Two old sweethearts who fell apart

Somewhere a long ago

How are they to know

Someday they'd meet again

And have a need for more than reminiscin'

Maybe this time

It will be lovin' they'll find

Maybe now they can be more than just friends

He's back in his life

And it feels so right

Maybe this time, love won't end… (Maybe This Time)

--- The End ---

[Fat4Slim]

I think i have read this before in Trevvy and this is a very nice story.....is this story real?"

[marky]

I think i have read this before in Trevvy and this is a very nice story.....is this story real?"

Like I've mentioned at the start, I posted it sometime in 2005 on then Sgboyx... Essentially, the story is written by somebody else. What I did was lengthen the story and made it gay... Kekekeke....

[Guest GUEST]

are you still gay now??

[Fat4Slim]

Like I've mentioned at the start, I posted it sometime in 2005 on then Sgboyx... Essentially, the story is written by somebody else. What I did was lengthen the story and made it gay... Kekekeke....

this is a very nice story, even when i read it in sgboyx and i wanted to comment on it (this ecity is so irritating that I decide against). This is very nice marky....sigh.....so maybe you can tell us what is your situation now?

[marky]

Hi to all,

Everyone will have a unique life journey to embark on. And everyone will have their own different and unique conclusions. I hope all of you will look forward to what life has to offer you and hopefully, I too will get to read about them

[marky]

I thought maybe it would be alright to post something I personally wrote back in 2003.... The inspiration came from a Straits Times report about a road accident involving 2 secondary school students who were stated as good friends. One died while the other survived... Then an inspiration came to me. Why not write about the lives of 2 good friends? If anyone feels strongly that this story should not be posted here, do state it openly over here too, okie?

To enjoy this story thoroughly, you would have to click on the music files. Listen especially to the very first song because the entire story is written around it. Once you finish reading the entire story, you'd think the song was written for one of the protagonist... Btw, a fair command of mandarin is required to reflect the biligualism of the youths of today..Happy reading

我带你回家 – Prologue

Mid January 2003…

“接下来的一首歌是一位叫建明小弟想点给他最要好的朋友,小雄,听的. 唯,建明你有什么话想跟小雄讲吗?” The DJ asked.

“没有,我要跟他说的全包含在歌词里…”

“好吧,我们现在就来听张清芳的 ‘我帶你回家’…”

电话答录机里仍是你的留言

仿佛你从未曾走远

我总是开着窗户点亮一盏灯

仿佛你会回到我身边

我喝着你的咖啡走着你的路

仿佛下个转角会见面

我听你爱的音乐唱着你的歌

仿佛仍可以回到从前

你知道我不相信爱情

你知道我渴望的安定

你许给我的是 爱永无止境…

…天黑以后 我带你回家

让我把你捧在手心

从此不会再有风雨

天黑以后 我带你回家

再也不必害怕孤寂

因为我们永不分离

天黑以后 我带你回家

满天里亮晶晶的星星

都是你微笑的眼睛… (我帶你回家 - 张清芳)

Tears fell freely from Jian Ming’s eyes as he hung his head lowly while listening to the melancholic song. The truth is he does have lots to say to his best friend, Xiao Xiong. How cruel life can be when fate deals you a huge blow over some seemingly minor incident which was better left forgotten. If he could turn back the clock again, he’d make sure he never did what he had done that morning when they first met… But most of all, he’d want to tell Xiao Xiong again and again how much he loved and treasure him….

我带你回家 – Chapter 1

Flashback - July 2002, 7 months earlier….

It was the dawn of a brand new day. The golden rays of the rising sun gently flooded the humble living room of the 3-room HDB flat as if it was looking forward to greeting all of its inhabitants. All was quiet in this household of three save for the sound of the whistling kettle coming from the kitchen. Suddenly, the serenity was rudely broken by a loud pulsating percussion intro from the radio broadcasting music from 93.3FM, Singapore’s favorite Mandarin station…

“世界看我这里, 我们站在一起, 一双手撑出一片天 青春无敌, 大步走跨出去, 今天起所有事我决定…”

Jian Ming sang happily and danced along to the music of one of his current favorite bands, Comic Boyz, while putting on his school uniform. It has been about a month since he last don them and he was excited at the prospect of meeting his schoolmates once again. He inhaled deeply into the fabric… Good, his uniform still managed to retain the fragrance of fresh detergent despite having been kept in storage for a month.

“Ming! You better hurry; it’s almost 7 o’clock! And for heaven’s sake tone down that noisy music! Wait Papa scold you then you know!” Ming’s mother’s voice could be heard chiding him with mock indignation from the kitchen. She shook her head while preparing Ming’s Milo; Ming was her pride and joy, her only hope for him is to grow up fast like his elder sister, find a decent and respectable job, then get married and bear her lots of grandchildren. Such is the aspiration common amongst the simple folks in the HDB heartlands... Ming interrupted her thoughts when he suddenly snatched away the Milo she was stirring and gulped it all down very quickly…

“Aiya, time for Papa to wake up anyway! Chum, I late for my meeting with my friends liao! Bye ma…See you tonight! 世界看我这里, 我们站在一起,一双手撑出一片天青春无敌, 大步走跨出去,念力也超犀利,一瞬間,一道光,一条心…出奇不意集中火力友情说了多余,就身体力气二话不说挺到底,郑重宣告, 我们是青春无敌…” Ming intentionally continued to sing loudly and playfully as if to tease his mother; that particular song seemed to say all that he encompasses; youth and an abundant zeal for life… Yes, and at a ripe 17 years of age, life ahead seems to promise a world of limitless excitement…

It was only a brief 15mins walk down the straight road from his 3-room Holland Close flat to Fairfield Methodist School nearby. This has been his home for as long as he could remember. He has even witnessed the transformation of the nearby Holland Village from a quiet row of shop houses to a bustling entertainment hub it is presently. Holland Village in itself is an eclectic mix of the old and the new, the rich and the poor. One side is the watering hole of the well heeled and the expatriate community who would dine on gourmet food in the myriads of chic restaurants and sip cocktails in the cool pubs. Across the road are until recent times, one to three room flats that the government seemed to have neglected in its upgrading program.

And it has been a routine for him to walk to school for as long as he could remember. Such morning strolls enabled him to see how the adults hurried about to get to work in the morning rush hour and how students from other schools would jam-pack the buses like sardines. And he chuckled to himself when he started imagining how awful it must be if some unfortunate souls were to be stuck in a packed bus next to some unhygienic bloke who would be airing his armpits…

Jian Ming’s thoughts were disrupted when he caught sight of a familiar figure in a distance rushing down the stairs from the block of flats just opposite his. Oh man, it is that weirdo again; the kid from that reclusive family who moved into the neighborhood a month ago at the start of the June holidays. Since the day the family moved in, they have kept pretty much to themselves and avoided all social contacts with the neighbors. Little was known of them. Even the boy avoided all forms of social interaction with the rest of the neighborhood kids when he was seen loitering at the nearby playground occasionally. That really pissed Jian Ming off because no one has been so rude to him as to walk away when Jian Ming approached him once and did a self-introduction. Further to Jian Ming’s surprise, that boy was also wearing the same uniform as he was…

Ming intentionally walked faster to catch up with that boy only to find him walking as fast as he could, as if he was avoiding him at all costs. Ming finally managed to catch up and for a brief moment, they were walking abreast…

“Some people are very considerate, hor? They got incurable diseases and so they don’t want it to spread to others by keeping to themselves all the time…” Jian Ming remarked sarcastically. :whistle:

“And maybe you’re the inconsiderate one with the incurable disease and want to spread it to innocent people. Maybe you have AIDS… ” The equally sarcastic retort came just quickly and caught Jian Ming by surprise.

“HEY! WHAT DID YOU SAY JUST NOW!??” :swear: Jian Ming stopped walking and grabbed the boy by his haversack; that boy was after all an inch or two shorter than he was. The sound of torn fabric could faintly be heard when the boy tried to free his haversack from Jian Ming’s clutches.

“LET GO MY BAG OR I’LL GIVE YOU A PUNCH!!”

“YOU BETTER SAY YOU’RE SOR…” A punch suddenly landed on Jian Ming’s right cheek before he could finish his threat. He grimaced for a moment before recovering and started raining blows all over his enemy who could hardly defend himself.

“YOU fxxkING BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU PUNCH ME!!!” Jian Ming continued raining his blows on the smaller and slimmer kid. Who cares if the whole world labels him a bully now? His pride had been hurt more than anything else…

“LET GO, YOU BASTARD!!” The boy shouted back and in his struggle to break free from Jian Ming’s grip, his right sleeve tore and exposed his slender upper arm… Now he too was furious.

“TAKE THIS YOU BIG BULLY!!” The smaller boy attempted to land another amateur punch to his aggressor’s face.

Jian Ming’s reflexes were fast enough to ward off the oncoming blow and he countered with a hard punch to the boy’s stomach. He must have scored a direct hit to the boy’s sternum because the boy’s knees suddenly went limp and gave way, and he momentarily fell to the ground agonizing in pain. And he took flight in ignominious defeat as soon as he recovered, leaving Jian Ming standing there in a daze. Oh shit, what has he done this time?? It was never his intention for any of these things to happen at all…

Edited December 4, 2011 by marky

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 2

Jian Ming managed to get to school just before the bell rang. And he got the shock of his life when he dragged his weary feet into his class. Standing before Miss Wong, his form teacher, was his adversary again!

“My, my… what do we have here!?” she raised her voice upon seeing Jian Ming at the door.

Jian Ming walked sheepishly towards her and stood at arms length away from that boy; avoiding him like plague.

“Wei Xiong, is Jian Ming the person whom you fought with just now?” Miss Wong interogated and Wei Xiong nodded his head silently in response.

“What about you? What do you have to say?” She turned her attention towards Jian Ming.

“He started the fight first! He punched me for no reason!” Jian Ming defended his earlier action.

“TEACHER, HE MADE ME DO IT! I WAS ON MY WAY HERE THIS MORNING AND MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS WHEN HE STOPPED ME! LOOK! HE PUNCHED ME QUITE HARD IN MY STOMACH AND RIBS TILL IT HURTS AND HE EVEN TORE OFF MY SLEEVE!!” Wei Xiong retorted and showed Miss Wong the dangling sleeve.

“WHO ASKED YOU TO PUNCH ME FIRST!!??” Jian Ming shouted back.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!! SHAME ON YOU TWO!! IS THIS HOW YOU INTEND TO START THE SECOND SEMESTER!!?”

Turning to Wei Xiong, Miss Wong continued, “Look at you! A stranger and new comer to this school and are you here to make friends or gain enemies!? And were you transferred here because you were expelled from your previous school for fighting!???” She asked sarcastically.

Then turning her attention next to Jian Ming, she continued, “And you! What’s got into you!? A model student last semester and a complete disappointment after one month’s break! And you dare say this boy who is shorter and smaller than you started the fight first!!?? Don’t forget you’re a repeat student! You fail your O’levels again this year and out you go!!”

That last statement really pricked at Jian Ming’s pride. Great, now even a newcomer knows he is a repeat student and for a moment, he wished the ground would just open and swallow him up. The boys kept very quiet; both of them knew well enough that it doesn’t pay to argue with someone who’d be watching over them for the rest of the year…

Miss Wong toned down upon seeing their downcast faces. “I could have jolly well sent the two of you off to the principal’s office this very moment, but I won’t since this is the first day of the school term. The two of you shall stand outside the classroom for the rest of this session. Now go out there!”

The boys dragged their heavy feet towards the exit and took up positions on either side of the door. Both were fuming inside their hearts for different reasons. Jian Ming was pissed that Wei Xiong had made him look bad in front of his classmates; he has always been a popular figure and this newcomer had tarnished his image and embarrassed him on the very first day of a new term. Wei Xiong on the other hand was furious that Jian Ming had tried to pick a fight with him that morning and also tore his precious uniform. How is he ever going to explain this to his dad that evening??

Jian Ming stared blankly towards the horizon. He was still fuming madly. “You fxxker, you watch out when we get back…” He kept nodding to himself as he mumbled softly just audible enough to get the threat across to his adversary.

There was no reply from Wei Xiong. Then all of a sudden, the boy broke down and began sobbing furiously.

All at once, Jian Ming heart softened. That reaction took him completely by surprise. He felt a little bad on seeing Wei Xiong’s sleeve dangling from his shirt and it looked like it was going to fall off any moment. On hindsight, he felt really bad about what he had done and the threat he had just made.

“I… I’m sorry lah… but you did start the fight mah… all I ever wanted was to be friends….” Jian Ming offered awkwardly… The sobbing didn’t cease….

“Hey, dun be like that lah! I already said I’m sorry liao! What more you want!? You also partly to be blamed lor…” Jian Ming continued. The sobbing still didn’t cease… Jian Ming frowned heavily and lamented to himself : it sure looked like it’s going to be hell for the rest of the semester…

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 3

情非得已 (Click here)

難以忘記初次見你 一雙迷人的眼睛

在我腦海裡 你的身影 揮散不去

握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔 真的有點透不過氣

你的天真 我想珍惜 看到你傷心我會失意

只怕我自己會愛上你 不敢讓自己靠的太近

怕我沒什麼能夠給你 愛你也需要很大的勇氣

只怕我自己會愛上你 也許有天會情不自禁

想念只讓自己苦了自己 愛上你是我情非得已*

It was just past 8.30pm that same evening. Jian Ming was singing along to the music from YES FM93.3, his favorite radio station. The events of that morning were still ringing in his head and he hated the guilt feeling that came along with it. He didn’t understand why Wei Xiong was such a difficult person to befriend and comprehend. He didn’t understand either why Wei Xiong had cried over such a trivial matter as a torn sleeve. All Jian Ming wanted at that moment was to sing out a happy tune to forget about the woes of the day. Then it has to happen; his eyes suddenly looked out of the window and over to the next block of flat into that reclusive family’s unit; a family drama was about to unfold…

From that distance, Jian Ming could hear loud noises coming out of Wei Xiong’s flat. It sounded like a quarrel…, no, it sounded very much like a violent and abusive parent was disciplining his child. And the living room of Wei Xiong’s unit was clearly visible through its corridor windows. Jian Ming’s heart sank at what he saw; he couldn’t make out what Wei Xiong’s father was saying but he was certainly shouting at the top of his voice. His left hand was grabbing tightly onto Wei Xiong as his right hand, welding a cane, started raining blows repeatedly on Wei Xiong who was jumping frantically from the pain and crying & pleading aloud for mercy.

Then Jian Ming saw what seemed like Wei Xiong’s mother intervening in the situation. Wei Xiong then broke loose from his father’s grip and managed to run out of the house towards the upper level of his block of flat.

Jian Ming’s heart started racing very fast. He felt he needed to do something that very moment to rectify the situation; afterall, he felt he was partially to be blamed for all that has transpired that day. Without further hesitation, he quickly put on his tank top and got ready to leave his room.

“Ma, Pa, I’m going out just for a while!” And Jian Ming dashed out of the house before his parents could say anything.

It was an arduous dash across the playground separating their 2 blocks and up to the 11th level of Wei Xiong’s flat but he was nowhere to be found along the corridor. There was no time to loose in case Wei Xiong decided to do something rash in his exasperated mental state. Jian Ming went on searching level by level till he reached the 19th level and still Wei Xiong was no where to be found. Suddenly, Jian Ming could hear the distinctive clattering sound of a collapsible iron grille door opening and instantly he knew where Wei Xiong might have headed and he too rushed to the top level.

True enough, the rusty iron grille door to the rooftop of this block of flat has been pried opened. Due to the age of the flats in the neighborhood, most of the accesses to the rooftops of the flats here were not securely fastened but Jian Ming didn’t think a newcomer like Wei Xiong would know about it. But apparently he did and Jian Ming quickly climbed up the vertical access to hunt for Wei Xiong.

From up here, one could almost see the entire Singapore. Thank God it was a brightly lit night and Jian Ming immediately saw Wei Xiong’s silhouette at a far corner standing near the ledge… was he contemplating suicide??

“WEI XIONG! STOP! DON’T DO IT, PLEASE!! WHATEVER IT IS, LET’S TALK IT OUT FIRST!!” Jian Ming cried out breathlessly. His voice sounded strained from trying to catch his breath after the marathon climb up all 22 storeys.

“YOU STOP WHERE YOU ARE! YOU CAUSED ME ENOUGH PROBLEMS LIAO! YOU CAUSE ALL MY MISERIES!” Wei Xiong shouted back as he pointed an accusing finger at Jian Ming to warn him against coming any closer.

“I ALREADY SAID SORRY MANY TIMES TO YOU THIS MORNING LIAO! ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO THESE MANY WEEKS WAS TO BE YOUR FRIEND! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!!?? WHY DON”T YOU JUST BELIEVE ME!!?? Please…, please don’t jump. Please don’t… please g… give me.. a chance…. to make up to you…. Please… let’s talk about it first…” Jian Ming cried out weakly to him again; he was still panting with exhaustion.

There was no reply from Wei Xiong this time; he just stood there looking gloomily towards the horizon. Then all of a sudden, he squatted by the ledge, burying his face in both his hands & knees and breaking into tears.

Jian Ming started to move cautiously towards Wei Xiong till he was just 2 metres away.

“Come, give me your hands… whatever it is, we can talk about it mah… I promise I’ll help you… Please…, please give us a chance at being friends… please…” Jian Ming offered as he stretched his arms cautiously out to Wei Xiong.

There was still no response from the crying one. Jian Ming squatted and started inching carefully forward towards Wei Xiong. His hands trembled as they tried to reach out nervously to the distressed one; and there was no resistance from Wei Xiong either when Jian Ming’s fingers finally touched his upper arm.

Jian Ming took that silent gesture as permission to close the gap between them and he quickly grabbed Wei Xiong firmly by his right arm and pulled him back to safety till the both of them fell backwards from the momentum... It was a valiant attempt whichever way one looked at it for someone who suffers from acrophobia…

[marky]

Apologies, had been busy the past few days so was unable to post new episodes. One thing about this story... I know that each chapter seems long and if you are not the kind who likes long-winded postings, then my story will not be able to sustain your interest. If however you can read past 6 chapters, i guarantee you that you would stick with the story till the very tragic end...

我带你回家 – Chapter 4

The boys laid flat on their backs and stared blankly at the starry sky without speaking to each other for a good 10 minutes. One was still sobbing quietly while the other still heaving heavily from the exhaustive climb and trembling from having to face his fear of height moments ago.

Jian Ming recovered from the ordeal first, sat upright and turned to face Wei Xiong.

“Come, let’s sit here and talk a while..” He gingerly propped Wei Xiong up by his shoulders till they were both in a sitting position and facing the brightly lit buildings in Orchard Road at a distance. For a brief moment, he reflected on the irony of the entire situation. Just that very same morning, he was all ready to dig out the eyes of this insolent lad yet now he found himself with his left arm across his shoulders…

“I’m err… sorry but I saw what happened just now in your living room… Your dad caned you?” Jian Ming probed gently.

Wei Xiong nodded silently in response.

“Oh… I see… was it because of what happened this morning?”

Wei Xiong nodded again.

“Oh… I’m err… very sorry about your sleeve…” Jian Ming offered his apology awkwardly.

Still no response from Wei Xiong. Oh gosh, this is going to be a long night, Jian Ming began to groan to himself.

“Look, I already said I’m sorry many many times liao. How long more you going to hold all that against me before you willing to forgive me??” Jian Ming began to sound agitated.

“It’s not only about the torn sleeve… I don’t want to talk about it because you sure won’t be able to understand. Anyway, for your info, I only have one extra set of school uniform left…” Wei Xiong finally spoke up; his face still appeared gloomy.

“I… I’m sorry… I’m sorry about everything. 我真的很对不起你… Look, I can go explain everything to your dad right now if you like. I can tell him that I started the fight…”

“Look, I already said the torn sleeve is not the only issue… You won’t understand….”

“Stop saying I don’t understand! How you know if I can understand or not!? Why can’t you be a little more friendly instead of keeping everything to yourself!??” Jian Ming interrupted; he was agitated by now.

All was silent again except for the noise from the evening traffic below. Finally, Wei Xiong cleared his throat and spoke up…

“My dad is on the run from some loan sharks… his business went bankrupt in early 1999 when times were quite bad. He borrowed a lot from them thinking his business sure improve… We’ve been in hiding by shifting home three times in the past three years to avoid their detection. I also had to change schools often because Pa says they might come after me as well… And we’re supposed to keep a low profile in whichever neighborhood we moved into in order to avoid attracting unnecessary attention. He also don’t want me to be out here too often just in case the loan sharks spot me. It’s a burden on my Pa to keep buying new school uniforms for me each time I switch school…. And he has become quite bad tempered these few years, he’d frequently vent his frustration out on me whenever he came home with a bad mood… What you saw tonight wasn’t new…. ”

“At least your Ma tried to stop him rite?”

“That is my aunt…, my dad’s elder sister, not my mother. My mother left me many years ago liao…Maybe she also can’t stand my Pa…”

Jian Ming listened to Wei Xiong’s revelation in awe. Here was a young teenager supposedly in the prime of his life much like himself, but like a tragic rose bud that has been plucked off the stem, thrown onto the ground to be trampled on before it even had the chance to bloom… It had caught him totally by surprise and he instantly felt remorseful for having misunderstood Wei Xiong all these while. As his left arm was still slung around his newfound friend’s shoulder all this time, he could suddenly feel his whole body shaking; Wei Xiong had broken down again burying his face between his knees…

“D…. do you know how hard it has been for me all these while? Do you know what it is like not to have friends because I’m told to stay away from the neighborhood kids? You know what it is like to go hungry in school on some days?? Do you know what it is like not to have a mother!?? And do you know what it is like to keep everything bottled inside you and crying yourself to sleep at night…??” Wei Xiong sobbed uncontrollably.

“Shhh…. I understand… I really do… ssshhh…. Don’t worry, I’ll be your friend, okay? When you have problems in future, I’ll try to be there to lend a listening ear… And when you need to cry, my shoulders will always be there for you… No one deserves to be lonely… no one…. Sshhh…别哭啦… 来… ssshh….” Jian Ming hugged and comforted Wei Xiong….

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 5 (Right Click here)

洗了脸我看著自己

似乎忘了一些什麼事情

我把手轻轻放进蒸气里

哼起了自己的旋律

想起你我不禁在此时想起你

於是我做了一个深呼吸

闭上眼整理那片段的回忆

原来我们真的那麼相近

that's more than a word (than a word)

我和你 (with my heart)

眼神总是胜过言语

那一种默契 (I believe)

连我自己都会觉得惊奇 (there’re so many feeling inside of me)

that's more than a word (than a word)

我和你 (in my life)

总会有同一个表情

心中的决定 (I believe)

没有谁比我们更肯定 (比我们更肯定)

没有谁比我们更肯定 oh yeah More Than Words – Energy

It was 7am in the morning again. Jian Ming waited patiently below Wei Xiong’s block to accompany his newfound friend to school. It didn’t take long for Wei Xiong to appear.

“Hi… erm…, your eyes still a bit red…” For a moment, Jian Ming didn’t know what else to say.

“Ya, I know…” Wei Xiong replied, still a little sullen from the previous night’s incident.

“Nah, I got something for you... 快打开来看吧…” Jian Ming handed over a used Giordano shopping bag as they started walking to school.

Wei Xiong opened the plastic bags it contained a top portion of their school uniform.

“This one is mine; this is to pay you back for that torn uniform. Since we both about the same size, or maybe I just slightly bigger than you.. so I think you can wear mine lor.” Jian Ming continued.

“Hmph, you damn sincere hor? Give me your used uniform when the one you tore was brand new…” Wei Xiong sulked teasingly, hoping to make Jian Ming feel more remorseful over the unfortunate incident.

“喂, 别太过份啦；我家里也是没有钱的.. And in case you haven’t noticed hor, this isn’t exactly a rich neighborhood, ok?” Jian Ming didn’t realize Wei Xiong was just teasing him.

Both continued walking awkwardly in silence for a while.

“Well?” Jian Ming began after a while.

“Well, what?”

“You going to forgive me or not??”

“Ya lah…, you so lor sor one…”

Jian Ming stopped Wei Xiong from walking farther.

“Ok, if you really like what I had just given you, then you wear it now!” Jian Ming challenged.

“You’re crazy, you know that? You want me to strip here izzit?”

“Yes, I mean it. 如果你不照我的话做就表示你瞧不起我送给你的礼物！” Jian Ming challenged again.

Wei Xiong smiled cheekily. “好啰,就照你意思做吧！” And right there on the spot along the walking path, Wei Xiong quickly stripped himself off his shirt to put on Jian Ming’s gift instead.

For one brief moment, Jian Ming was shocked when he saw Wei Xiong’s naked upper body. Smack right in the middle of his fair and slender torso were bruised marks and instantly he recalled having delivered those punches the day before that caused Wei Xiong to fall to the ground grimacing in pain. Just yesterday, he was raining blows on Wei Xiong with a vengeance and exactly a day later it pained his heart to see the bruises he had inflicted… The show was over within a brief minute.

“Ok, let’s go!” Wei Xiong beamed and snapped Jian Ming out of his daze; the uniform appeared a little too large for his puny frame.

“Hang on a second…” Jian Ming grabbed Wei Xiong by his fore arm to stop him from walking off; tears were swelling in his eyes...

“又是什么事啦…” Wei Xiong was puzzled.

“Those bruises on your body… I’m very sorry… will you forgive me?” Jian Ming pleaded genuinely.

“Ya lah, we better get going or we might be late again… You don’t want to be scolded by Miss Wong again do you?” Wei Xiong started to move off again.

“I’d rather be late and get scolded by Ms Wong than to regret for the rest of my life something I should have done but didn’t do… Promise me you’ll meet me up at your rooftop again same time tonight; I want to make it up to you, ok?”

“Ya, ok…”

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 6

玻璃鞋

小時候　愛上了看灰姑娘

看過以後讓我感到快樂讓我多滿足

都因為相信我是灰姑娘

還是相信會有一天你會邀請我來跳舞

我沒什麼了不起

就隨作我的心尋找童話的故事

我渴望有一天穿上了玻璃鞋

終於看到了王子公主在一起

如果王子找不到灰姑娘

請你帶作我的玻璃鞋

一心但願一路走來　我會一直待在這裡

可能你也是個灰姑娘

可能有很多的玻璃鞋

期待一天他終於出現

等我說一聲我願意… (玻璃鞋 – Sammi Cheng)

That day, both the boys were feeling extraordinarily happy and in a daze for pretty much the same reasons. Jian Ming was glad that they were now friends and neighbors rolled into one. Wei Xiong was ecstatic to receive the gift of a school uniform from Jian Ming; never mind that it is not a brand new one because he has not received any presents in the past 3 years that his family had been on the run from the loan sharks. He was also glad that he has also found a friend in Jian Ming; all that constant switching of schools has made it almost impossible to maintain any quality friendship for long.

Nightfall came. The quicker the better; both the boys do have lots to share that evening…

“Ma, you got any oil for bruises? That new neighbor’s boy fell down yesterday and got a couple of bad bruises…” Jian Ming asked his mother while the two of them were doing the dishes and clearing up after dinner.

“Hah, you mean you finally got to meet the kid?”

“Ya lor… turn out he’s in the same class as me; and we’re good friends now…” Jian Ming felt a light flutter in his heart as he proclaimed that.

“I’ll go look for the medication after the variety show, ok? Jack Neo should be coming on air pretty soon…”

“I need the oil fast, ma. I can’t wait that long. Come, let me do the dishes for you while you go check out where it is, ok?” Jian Ming was surprised by his own impatience.

“好啦，好啦！What’s wrong with you today…” His mother was rather amused by his sudden concern over a neighbor’s kid. She came back shortly with an old bottle containing some dark liquid.

“Here, apply this 青草油 over the bruise for 3 days and the bruise should go away soon. He can have the whole bottle since we no need to use it for a long time liao… And hey, remember you promised to clean up the kitchen tonight! I’m going to inspect the dishes later… ”

“Ya lah, ya lah….”

A similar situation was unfolding over at Wei Xiong’s home albeit much quieter.

“Gou ah, do you think Pa will allow me to go out for a while? There’s this boy staying next block who is also my classmate. I’m just going over to his house…. I promise we won’t be hanging out around the playground downstairs…” Wei Xiong asked his aunt cautiously.

“Well, I really dunno…”

“Can lah, Gou! He gave me his uniform when he knew mine was torn. At least let me go over and thank him mah… I promise it won’t take long…. Please lah, Gou…”

“You go ask your dad.”

“No need lah, he busy watching the variety show… Please tell him for me, Gou.”

“Aiyo… I really dunno…”

“Don’t be like that lah, Gou… you’re the best aunty anyone can have...”

“Okay lah, okay… you promise to come back early and don’t hang around downstairs. I’m leaving soon… I’ll tell your Pa for you….”

Edited January 16, 2011 by marky