Marky's Life Stories...

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 7

“Hah, you’re late!” Wei Xiong greeted gleefully when he saw Jian Ming appeared through the trap door; he was panting away just as he did the previous night.

“I already rushed here as quickly as I can liao, ok? My ma made me do all the dishes…” Jian Ming replied, still trying to catch his breath.

“What’s that thing you got in your hand there?”

“Oh, that, come, let’s find a bright spot to sit on…” And they sat down not far from where they sat the night before.

“Come, take off your t-shirt. I need to apply this on you.” Jian Ming continued.

“Huh? Take off shirt again?? And what’s that stuff?” Wei Xiong was surprised.

“Remember I said this morning that I promise to take care of those bruises? Well, this here is my mom’s secret remedy called the 双虾青草油. The smell may be quite strong but it sure works. Trust me, I’ve used it before. Quick, lift up your t-shirt while I apply the ointment.”

“Oh, alright...” Wei Xiong lifted the base of his t-shirt up, to the level of his chin to facilitate Jian Ming’s task.

Jian Ming applied some of the pungent smelling ointment to his fingers before working them onto Wei Xiong’s body in a slow circular motion. His body was slightly fair and sorely lacking musculature albeit signs of adolescence were developing… Jian Ming could feel Wei Xiong’s little ribs and soft tummy with every circular motion he made with his fingers. And his heart ached again when he saw how dark the bruise marks were and he regretted his earlier rash action deeply...

“Ouch! Be gentle lah!” Wei Xiong jolted Jian Ming out of his daze.

“Hold still lah or some of it will get onto your t-shirt…. Ok, there, it’s done…” Jian Ming capped the bottle and conveniently wiped the residue onto the back of his own shorts. “You’d need me to do this for you for another 2 more days before the bruises would go away…”

“Wah, thanks leh, you’ve been very kind to me. I appreciate it a lot…” Wei Xiong replied bashfully.

“Don’t thank me lor. I should be the one saying sorry to you instead for causing so much hurt to you.

“Oh never mind. I’m used to being treated that way liao. Most of the time, my Pa’s caning hurts much more. This is nothing. At least now I know it can’t get any worse if ever I get bullied by others…”

“Don’t say that! Don’t!” Jian Ming cut in. Then grabbing hold of Wei Xiong gently but firmly by both his shoulders, he declared, “Let’s be good friends! Let us be the best of friends if ever possible! We will go to school together in the mornings and even walk home together after school too! And we will be there to protect each other where possible. And I swear for as long as I’m able to, I will not let anyone harm or bully you anymore! Agreed??” Jian Ming reassured.

“Yes! Yes! And we will share our good times and bad times together! 有福同享有祸同当！From today onwards, I will call you Xiao Ming!” Wei Xiong was ecstatic at the prospects.

“You can’t lah, but I’ll call you Xiao Xiong!” Jian Ming chipped in.

“Eh, what you mean Xiao Xiong? What makes you think you’re older than me?? Maybe You are the Xiao Ming??”

“I’m older than you by one year lah… Remember what Miss Wong said on the first day of school? I’m a repeat student, remember?”

“Oh yes, now I remember… How come??”

“Never mind.., dun ask, ok?”

“Oh, ok lor.... Anyway, Jian Ming, this is the happiest day of my life! I’ve not had a close friend for so many years already. You are like a gift from heaven! I’m so happy now I feel like crying….” And Wei Xiong begin to sniffle.

“No lah, don’t, don’t cry like a baby lah. You should be happy instead. From today onwards, you’ll cry only when you’re sad, ok?”

“Yes, kor! So it will be, kor!”

“And let this be our 世外桃源！A world away from the adults, a place we can retreat to when we’re happy or when we’re sad. It will be something we can call our very own, right?”

“Yes! I second that!!” Wei Xiong replied ecstatically in agreement.

And the boys indulged in a warm and simple hug to celebrate the forging of a new friendship under the bright starry sky… (Click here)

坐在你的身边是种满足的体验 看你看的画面 过你过的时间

天也晴了 花也开了 微风也沉醉 虽然你不说话 却也早已万言千语

分分秒秒显得清澈又珍贵 只有你才能给我这种感觉

不管心多疲倦 梦想还有多远 有你陪伴的一切都无所谓

我要陪你擦拭每个昨天 相片 日记 书签 有暖意慢慢浮现

我要用默默的体贴 让你睁开双眼 看见昨夜梦想都实现

我也愿意帮你打扫房间 把身体好好锻炼 好让你觉得安全

让你记得我的优点 无论任何时间 对我非常想念 非常想念

我也愿意帮你打扫房间 把牌技好好演练 陪你母亲打八圈

为你写下盈泪诗篇 感觉就像触电 才会对我想念 非常想念

我也愿意帮你打扫房间 帮你的爸爸戒烟 帮你兄弟姐妹买早点

让你时刻觉得很炫 生活过得悠闲 对我非常想念 非常想念

身边- 无印良品

我带你回家 – Chapter 8

It was close to 10.30pm when Wei Xiong got back to his flat. He closed the door softly behind him to avoid attracting unnecessary attention. But it really didn’t matter, dad was either too pre-occupied with watching the late evening news to realized he has returned… or perhaps his aunt had managed to work her charm as she had promised.

Wei Xiong smiled to himself as he closed his room door gently behind him; just like any good typical HDB heartlander, his dad seemed glued to the goggle box every evening from the variety shows at 8pm to the Mandarin news at 10pm. He reasoned that as long as he got back before the news ended at 10.45pm, he felt he should be quite safe. Then he remembered his good fortune earlier on up on the rooftop. His room is located at the front of the flat and he could see Jian Ming’s flat from here. He should be able to see Jian Ming making his way back to his flat in a couple of minutes…

Sure enough, Jian Ming appeared after a while. There must be some form of telepathy between the two of them because Jian Ming too turned and started waving ecstatically at him as if bidding him good night before disappearing behind the closed door.

Wei Xiong allowed himself to free-fall backwards onto his mattress; he was in heaven. He’ll always remember this night for many weeks to come. Jian Ming’s friendship was like a Christmas and birthday gift all rolled into one; and it has been years since he last received anything.

Then he recalled the physical stimulation he had when Jian Ming applied the ointment on his body. Sure, the ointment smelled terrible but it was like sweet lavender to him. He couldn’t explain the sensations he was going through that very moment. It was some kind of warmth that was emitting from his heart and spreading quickly to the other parts of his body. It was a nice feeling… very nice… the feeling of though being alone yet not feeling lonely… and he drifted into a blissful sleep that evening….

Dawn came and Wei Xiong was awoken by the first rays of sunlight that pierced into his room. He looked lazily at his alarm clock and his heart almost stopped pumping. It was already a quarter past 7! Oh no, he’d be late for school for sure! Damned, he had drifted to sleep the previous night, forgetting to set the alarm clock on in the process. Needless to say, he was late in school by a good 15 mins.

“Psst, what happened to you? I waited for quite awhile before rushing off…” Jian Ming whispered, trying not to interrupt the science lesson.

“I forgot to set the alarm clock lah. Got stopped by the prefects just now. I’d have to stay back to clean the canteen later on liao…” Wei Xiong replied glumly.

“Never mind, I’ll wait for you, then we can walk back together again.” Jian Ming offered.

Wei Xiong was elated at the suggestion. Hence, the rest of the day drifted by quickly for him. And by 3pm, the boys were ready to leave for home.

“Wah lao, how can you be so careless and forget to set your alarm clock?” Jian Ming grinned.

“Aiya, don’t ask lah. So paiseh.” Wei Xiong started blushing deeply. :oops:

“Wah, what’s with you ah? Why are you blushing for no good reasons?” The blush didn’t escape Jian Ming’s sharp eyes. :whistle:

“I am!?? Oh dear, no lah… may be it’s the hot weather….” Wei Xiong tried to cover up. :oops:

“Hah! You must be thinking of naughty things!!” Jian Ming continued to interrogate. :twisted:

“Nooo, I din! I din! Don’t any how say such things…”

“Ok lah, don’t disturb you liao. Anyway, you are quite fair, you look a little like Snow White. That’s why it is so easy to detect when you blush… Maybe we can go suntan at the East Coast someday during the September break?” Jian Ming suggested.

“See how lor… Firstly, I don’t get any transport allowance. And secondly, I’m supposed to keep a low profile, remember?”

“Aiya, tell your dad those loan sharks don’t look for people at the beach lah! As for the transport problem, don’t worry ok? We’ll find a solution for it, as long as you really look forward to it, ok? ”

“Well, alright…”

[marky]

Some of you might be able to identify with this chapter... especially if you have ever fall for a str8 friend.....

我带你回家 – Chapter 9

除了爱你还能爱谁

大雨过后　霓虹的世界 半片土司　冷掉的咖啡 热闹的街　烤香肠的香味 想起远方你的夜

也许流浪是我的事业 在你心中我没有地位 拿起Guitar唱不出的心碎 你忘了你的誓约

城市的屋頂　都是天线 却收不到　从前 飞机划过　我头上的天 希望它为我带走一切

除了爱你　还能爱谁？ 你留下的世界　已支离破碎

我可以无所谓 只要你自觉无后悔　爱的更对

除了爱你　还能爱谁？ 如果时间能让思念继续宿醉

已幻灭的爱情 至少有人还有幸福 給你祝福　我给你祝福

The days passed quickly and the boys’ friendship grew stronger. Their lives became closely intertwined; everything that they did were done together. And wherever one went, the other would be there too.

Wei Xiong, couldn’t explain why he always feel so happy whenever Jian Ming was with him. He treasured all those moments they had walking home from school everyday and the evening chats up on their private sanctuary every night. But what he felt most shameful about was something he had experienced just 2 nights earlier. Thoughts of Jian Ming invaded even his dreams. That night, he had dreamt that the both of them were sun tanning themselves on some deserted beaches when Jian Ming suddenly turned to face him and gave him a nice warm kiss. The two of them even rubbed their sweaty bodies together as the kiss became more intimate... And Wei Xiong woke up the morning after with some weird sticky mess in his underwear. Is this what the adults call wet dreams? He wondered to himself. And he also wondered how Jian Ming felt towards him too.

He agonized over if he should tell Jian Ming how he was feeling inside. Jian Ming had noticed him behaving a little weird lately but when he asked Wei Xiong about it, Wei Xiong would only brush it aside as some trivial matter.

And they were up on the rooftop that evening enjoying the unusually cool evening air. Both were lying down staring at the beautiful night sky.

“Ming, do you feel weird that we always spend so much time together?” Wei Xiong started.

“No lah.., it’s better than staying at home… so boring. Besides, my parents always have the tv to themselves every night. No chance to even watch Smallville or Phua Chu Kang…”

“Ya lor, same here…” Wei Xiong let out a sigh of relief. “There’s nothing much to do in Singapore anyway, especially for people like us if we don’t have any money… looks like we’d be stuck on this rooftop for many months to come… I don’t mind it if you don’t mind…”

“Aiya, if you want some excitement we can always make paper bullets then shoot them off with a rubber band. Then we go downstairs and have a competition to see who can kill more rats with them. In case you haven’t noticed, the rats in this neighborhood are the biggest in Singapore. They run around the void deck like nobody’s business like that. Even those lazy stray cats leave then alone…”

“No lah, I don’t mean that I’m bored. Actually, I feel very happy whenever we’re together.” :whistle:

“Ok lor..”

That one-liner wasn’t the response Wei Xiong wanted to hear. He had hope Jian Ming would elaborate more. He looked up at the blinking stars above that littered the evening sky for an answer but was offered none. And for some reason unknown to him, his heart began to pound very fast…

“Ming..”

“Ya?”

“Promise me you won’t get angry if I share something with you, ok?”

“Ok, what?”

“I… I think I like you very much…”

“Ya, I like you too…”

“No…, I mean… I like you more than just an ordinary friend..” Wei Xiong’s voice was reduced to a whimper.

“Har? 别开玩笑啦…” Jian Ming brushed off what he just heard.

“我.. 我是说真的…”

“我…我看你是变态…”

And all was silent again. It was an awkward moment as neither of them knew how to salvage the situation they got themselves into; they were just a couple of secondary school kids afterall. That remark pierced through Wei Xiong’s heart like an arrow. He has never felt so insulted and rejected in his life. And it was worse, coming out of the mouth of his best friend. Soon, he could be heard quietly sobbing away… For once, Jian Ming’s shoulders were not there for him to cry on. They’re just next to his but seemed so inaccessible… Maybe after this night, their friendship would take a different turn… Maybe…

“Eh, dun cry lah, I dun mean to hurt you…”

No response…

“来, 别胡思乱想了, 我带你回家…” Jian Ming finally spoke after Wei Xiong’s sobbings subsided. A good 20mins had gone by.

*************

Wei Xiong quietly closed the door behind him the moment he got back home, taking care not to arouse his dad’s attention to his face that was still drenched in tears. Fortunately, the old man was too absorbed with the evening’s news on channel 8 to even look at who had just stepped into the house. And quietly, he headed straight for the showers.

He stood below the shower tap and allowed the water to continuously drench him. He felt dirty for having said all that he said earlier on and he scrubbed himself forcefully as if by doing so, all the filth and dirty thoughts inside him could be scrubbed away too. And he cried again…

Wei Xiong drew the curtains in his room after he stepped out of the shower, so as to avoid seeing Jian Ming as their flats faced each other’s. He felt very sad. His world seemed to have collapsed on him that night. He had lost his one and only best friend. He had lost the person that meant most to him with a careless remark. He felt like a freak. He wished he was just like the gallant princes he used to read about in fairy tales who could fall in love with pretty girls and ride off happily ever after into the sunset.

“Ma, where are you when I need you now??? Why am I born this way? Why must you leave us??” Then he looked at himself in the dressing mirror. The reflection of a normal kid was what he saw but he told himself that behind that façade was a queer, a wolf disguised as a lamb, a person with a dark side.. or as Jian Ming has said - 变态… And he switched off the room light and cried himself to sleep…

Look at me, you may think you see who I really am

But you'll never know me

Everyday it’s as if I play a part

Now I see if I wear a mask

I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart

Who is that guy I see staring straight back at me?

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart

And what I believe in

But somehow I will show the world what's inside my heart

And be loved for who I am

Who is that guy I see staring straight back at me

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I’m someone else for all time

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly

That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal what we think?

How we feel

Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?

I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

When will my reflection show who I am inside…? (Reflections – Christina Aguilera)

Edited January 16, 2011 by marky

[marky]

This is the turning point of the story, and it is also one of the longest chapters. Here, you'd read a story within a story. Confusing, rite? Kekekeke.... From hence forth, everything will be rather heavy. Again, some of you may be able to identify with the situation. Happy reading....

我带你回家 – Chapter 10

让软弱的我们懂得残忍

狠狠面对人生每次寒冷

依依不舍的爱过的人

往往有缘没有份

谁把谁真的当真?

谁为谁心疼?

谁是唯一谁的人?

伤痕累累的天真的灵魂

早已不承认还有什么神

美丽的人生　善良的人

心痛心酸心事太微不足道

来来往往的你我遇到　相识不如相望淡淡一笑

忘忧草忘了就好　梦里知多少

某天涯海角　某个小岛　某年某月某日某一次拥抱

轻轻河畔草　静静等天荒地老… (忘忧草- 周华健)

Wei Xiong woke up earlier than usual the following morning. This would be the first morning that he’d be walking to school alone. He felt he needed to avoid Jian Ming for the time being. It felt strange but he figured he better get used to it. After all, this was what life was like for him in the past three years that his dad was on the run from the loan sharks.

Life in school for the next few days was like hell on earth. While Jian Ming still has many of his friends to talk and have fun with, Wei Xiong was all alone. There are few things considered worse for a teenager other than being alone in a sea of familiar faces. When he sees Jian Ming talking and laughing away with his friends, he felt he had been betrayed. All that promises of being there for each other come what may etc seemed to have dissipated with just an innocent albeit careless remark. And Jian Ming never took the initiative to explain his previous actions; he acted as if he didn’t know Wei Xiong.

Then one evening while Wei Xiong was alone on his private rooftop sanctuary as usual he heard a familiar voice calling out to him…

“Xiao Xiong… 你.. 你还好吧?”

Wei Xiong didn’t respond; he recognized that voice just too well. And his body language gestured Jian Ming to get lost.

Jian Ming tried again, “Xiao Xiong, don’t be like that lah…. Things are not as simple as they seem... 我也有我的苦衷…”

“难道我就没有? Go away! I dunno you anymore!” Wei Xiong shot back curtly.

“Come on lah…” Jian Ming tried to put his hand on Wei Xiong’s shoulder only to have him shaking it off in rejection.

“You forgot liao is it? I’m the 变态 one, remember?”

“I don’t mean it.., I mean I was confused then… It... it reminded me of the past… Please listen to me first, and if you are still not convinced, then you can continue to ignore me, ok?”

Wei Xiong nodded his silent consent, and Jian Ming took the queue, sat closely beside Wei Xiong and began his long narration...

“Remember I told you once you can’t call me Xiao Ming because I’m actually one year older than you? That I repeated my O’levels?” Jian Ming was down cast as he revealed that.

“Ya.., you always never bother to tell me everything unlike me…”

“I’ll tell you everything tonight…promise…Used to be ok with my studies, until I met him beginning last year. His name is Hong Shen.. We’re in the same class then… We used to do things together like you and me are doing now… Only thing is we dun go back home together because he stays quite far away in Jurong East. But whenever we’re in school, we would study, play and eat together. Turn out he is weak in his studies so I got excuse to spend even more time with him by helping him with his homework… It worked and he did well in his mid-year exams. In return, he asked his mother to let me work at her cake shop just below their flat during the June holidays so I can earn some pocket money.

His mother likes me a lot and treated me like her own son. Sometimes, she’d even ask me to join them for dinner upstairs. Got one time when I was sick, she even personally bring me go see the doctor. Soon I also start treating her like my second mother… And every evening after work, Hong Shen and I would spend time together at the Jurong East Entertainment Centre to play arcade games or just hang around his neighborhood. It was during this time that I realized I begin to have feelings for him liao…The more time we spent together, the happier I became. I start to think how nice if we both can hold hands and maybe hug each othe rand feel his body warmth… But I got no guts to ever ask him if he felt the same way about me because I think it is abnormal for guys to like guys…

Then when second term began, Hong Shen asked his mom whether I can stay over at their place so that I can coach him with his work and his parents both agreed. I was very happy too because last year my sis was still doing her final year Poly so she got the room all to herself and I must sleep in the living room. But Hong Shen has his own bedroom so it was exciting for me to be able to sleep in a proper room lor… Some more my parents also din object because Hong Sen’s mom called my mom to say she’ll look after me during this period.. I only go back home like maybe once a month or whenever I feel like it…

Since then, we would do everything in that room like study, play computer games, chat and sleep. He only has a small bed so his mom actually asked him to give up his bed for me to sleep on since I am the guest. But of course I dun feel nice about this so once we closed the door and switched off the lights, we would both jump into the same bed…And so we sleep in the same bed together, go to school together, eat together and even breathe the same air together…

Hong Shen was in the school’s badminton team and he’d usually complain about aching shoulders and neck most of the time after coming home from a full day’s training. Then one day, I offered to give him a massage and he gladly accepted it. It was again done after we switched off the lights. He sat on the edge of the bed while I sat behind him and gently massaged his neck and shoulders. That night, my heart was beating very fast and hard… I don’t think he knew about this but my private part became very hard while I was massaging him… The feeling was like.. I want to him to be mine for the rest of my life and that I wished I could hug him and feel his warm body next to mine without feeling guilty…

I am glad that he liked my massage because he would usually ask me to do it for him at least twice a week. He asked me before if I mind… Of course I don’t mind! I mean those were the only times I ever have to get close to the first person I so admired. Soon, I began to like the way he smiles, the way he talks, the way he smells…Every now and then he would just pop up in my mind whenever my mind was wandering. I thought of him when I’m brushing my teeth, I thought of him when listening to the teachers in class and I even thought of him when I’m dreaming at night… It was then that I realized I have fallen in love with him liao…

Then one day, Hong Shen met a girl during the inter-schools’ badminton tournament. He liked her very much and began to spend time with her after school… It was again late at night when I was massaging him that he told me about how much he liked this girl and that girl also liked him so much she gave him her number!! I felt a knife stabbing into my heart when I heard that… I was stunned… I knew this day would come but I din think it would come so fast… There was this awful sour feeling inside my heart that refused to go away…It was so sour and painful.. I felt so disgusted with that girl too. I kept thinking how cheap she is in trying to go after a guy like Hong Shen. Kept thinking she did nothing to ever deserve Hong Shen’s love... I mean.. I did so much for Hong Shen and what has she ever done for him? Nothing…nothing at all…But all she needs to do is be a girl and look pretty, and she can take away any guys she likes away from me…I was hurt. I was angry… Still, I pretended to be very happy for him… I gave him a warm and long hug that night. That was the first time we ever hugged so intimately… Maybe he thinks it was just a buddy buddy hug and that it was my way of showing him how happy I was for him… But the truth is I know if I dun hug him that night, I may never get another chance like that anymore…

I din sleep well that night… A lot of things went thru my mind then as Hong Shen was sleeping like a baby next to me… Maybe I should tell him that I also liked him and see if he also likes me? Maybe I should tell that girl Hong Shen is already attached and hope she’d leave him? I even secretly hoped that Hong Shen would do badly for all his tests so that I can tell his mother that it was because Hong Shen was going out with that girl instead of spending his time studying…

For the next few weeks, Hong Shen began to go home later and later. He always asked me to go back first and help find an excuse for him if his mother asked. As the days passed, I began to feel very moody… even in front of Hong Shen’s mother... I know she treats me like her own son and she knew something was troubling me but when she asked me what was bothering me, I just can’t tell her.. I mean how can I tell her that I liked her son very much!!?? Sometimes, I feel that as long as I can always stay close to Hong Shen, it doesn’t matter if he is attached to somebody else… but then I realized…what’s the point of trying to own someone when his heart is with someone else?? Sometimes, the feeling inside my heart is so awful when I’m alone in his room that I had to cry myself to sleep…

Soon, I begin to feel very odd coming back to a home that does not belong to me… Even that room where Hong Shen and I had spent so much time together playing, studying and sleeping in began to feel so strange and cold to me… It was so lonely to be there when the owner of the room was not around. Hong Shen finally did notice something was wrong with me but when he asked me, I just told him it was just his imagination… I mean.. I want to be happy for him even though I want him all to myself… But I know I must never do or say anything that will spoil our friendship…

Then during one of those nights when Hong Shen was again out with that girl, I quietly packed my things and left his house… Nobody was in the house then because Hong Shen’s mother was still looking after the cake shop downstairs. I wrote a simple note to his mother thanking her for looking after me all these months. I also apologized to her for not being able to continue helping Hong Shen in his studies as I had some family problems to attend to at home. I left the note by the altar because I knew she sure see it later when she prays… With that, I looked back at their house where I had spend so many happy moments before closing the door one final time…

I reached home at about 8 plus that night. I was quite surprised to receive a call from his mother moments after I stepped into the house. She just asked “健明,是你吗?” and I said “是, aunty…” in a moody tone… And then we both din say anything more… Then suddenly she began to cry… and when she cried, I also felt something inside me just burst and I cried along…It was a good cry…We both cried over the phone for a good 5 minutes before she started asking me why I left their home so suddenly without any good reasons. She said “健明啊, 你突然间就这样离开Aunty, 没有好好的给Aunty一个交待,你知道Aunty心里多麽的难过吗?有什麽不开心事就直接讲给Aunty听啰;总之Aunty做得到, Aunty一定会帮你的.” But all I could tell her was “Aunty啊, 别再问下去了,我也真的觉得很难过,我的心事没有人会了解的…” Then she surprise me by saying “Aunty一向来都把你像自己儿子看待,你的痛苦Aunty哪里不会了解…? 你放心吧, 你不说也无所谓, 我们俩心里明白就好了. 你一路来是个好孩子,Aunty是不会怪你的…”

I was quite surprised by her remarks…she must have been observing my behavior all those months. But I was also glad that she was so understanding… I promised her that I would go visit her once again after the exams were over… But I also made her promise me that she will not let Hong Shen know we had that conversation that evening… Since that day onwards, I can’t concentrate on my studies and the thoughts of seeing Hong Shen and his newfound girlfriend together really drove me crazy. No one knew the struggles I was going through… Hong Shen was never there for me as he was too busy with that girl… I was so disappointed with him… I mean I was there for him to help him with his studies when he needed my help but look where he was when I was in need of a friend?? But I know I cannot blame him… I felt my world collapsing down on me… my future seemed so bleak… and soon my studies were affected… And finally, I failed my exams too….”

Jian Ming finally broke down and cried after that long narration and emotional strain. His whole body trembled as he buried his face between his knees, crying his heart out. For the first time since they knew each other, Wei Xiong got to see the emotional and vulnerable side of Jian Ming, and his heart ached at the sight. He stretched out his arms to embrace Jian Ming tightly. With that one simple gesture, all previous misunderstandings and animosity were banished to eternity…

“来, Ming, go on, cry your heart out, I won’t stop you... If you want to tell me any other things, just say. I am here for you... I’m always here for you…" Wei Xiong cooed softly into Jian Ming’s ears while gently comforting him.

Jian Ming finally looked up and began wiping his tear-soaked eyes with his t-shirt sleeves very quickly as if ashamed that others would see the state he was in. He fixed his gaze upon Wei Xiong before continuing… “So now you know…, it’s not because I don’t like you or really think you are变态… I’m sorry for calling you that last time… It’s just that you reminded me so much of him and all the things that has happened… I even disappointed my parents by repeating secondary four… You understand or not?? I’m afraid the same thing may happen again if we go into a relationship and it doesn’t work out… I can’t afford to get kick out of school… I dowan to get hurt again… the feeling is just so awful…”

“Shhh…. I understand…. Now I understand…. Ssshhh….” Wei Xiong assured Jian Ming again with another warm hug.

“I hope you don’t misunderstand me further… I do like you a lot. I’ve liked you since we started becoming good friends. Why do you think I enjoy walking to school and walking back home with you everyday? And why you think I enjoy coming up to this rooftop every night to be with you? But right now, I just want to concentrate on my studies… So please don’t ask me for anything more at the moment… I can only give you my friendship but I can’t give you my heart… but it doesn’t mean I dun care, okie, because I do care a lot for you… I really do… everything else must wait till our O’levels are over, ok?”

“Ok, I understand… at least I know you don’t hate me… At least we’re still good friends… And like you said, we can always be together after our exams are over, right?”

“Yes, Xiao Xiong, we’ll always be together… no matter what…”

“Wait, I still got one request, can?”

“What?”

“Maybe I’ll never be your special someone…it doesn’t matter to me anymore… but can you at least be my Kor?”

“Of cos, you can call me that anytime!”

“Kor…”

“又是什么啊?”

“Nothing…, just want to call you that...” :oops:

The chilly night breeze was blowing strongly, rendering the boys’ thin fabric t-shirts defenseless against the cold. How fast time passes when you are with the one you loved… It was late and time for the boys to leave…

“来,我带你回家…” Jian Ming suddenly reverted back into his elder brother mode. “Xiao Xiong…”

“Ya?”

“Oh…, nothing… Thanks for your friendship…” :oops:

“Thanks for yours too…, thanks for giving me the privilege to call you Kor...”

I Believe当我在你家门口 下雨了 你看了也会难过

I Believe你不说话的时候 也是一种 其实你在回应我

虽然不曾说 相信你正在懂 就算牵的不是我的手 我不真的难过

不知道在高兴什么 你的笑容

有时候也宁可当作你在为我加油

不知道在妄想什么 只告诉自己I Believe你总会看到我

在某个时候 想让你陪伴的是我

I Believe没有回应的时候 只不过 正好你在电话中

I Believe语音信箱的沉默 也是一种 其实你在倾听我

虽然不曾说 相信你正在懂 就算牵的不是我的手 我真的不难过

不知道在高兴什么 你的笑容

有时候也宁可当作你在为我加油

不知道在妄想什么 只告诉自己I Believe你总会看到我

在一切之后 留在你身边的是我

那延续太久的一时冲动 在你身后的独角戏 聚光灯没亮过

怀疑 是自己编造的内容 你从不真的认得我

不知道在高兴什么 你的笑容

有时候也宁可当作你在为我加油

不知道在妄想什么 只告诉自己I Believe一定会有结果

在很久以后 留在你身边的是我… 会陪着你的人是我… (I Believe － 范逸臣)

Edited January 16, 2011 by marky

[marky]

In the previous chapter, Jian Ming poured his heart out to Wei Xiong. In this chapter, it is Wei Xiong's turn to pour his sorrows out to Jian Ming... If we looked back at our lives, many of us too would be able to find sad chapters in our lives too....

我带你回家 – Chapter 11

That previous night’s episode had forged a stronger bond between the two boys. Couple or not, it is just a label. And neither needed that label to assure themselves that they’re the best of friends who shared everything together.

Another day had passed and the boys found themselves on the rooftop once again… Boredom has set in as the boys tossed about restlessly while staring at the night sky…

Then Wei Xiong let out a frown all of a sudden…

“You know, I know it is not right to be thinking about these things right now, but sometimes I do long for those good old days when money wasn’t so tight… I mean, there were times when we go to the malls, and secretly, I start noticing other kids with their nice branded and colorful T-shirts…. And I wish I can also afford them too… even if it is just to wear for a day… You know lah, brands like Stussy, Billabong…”

“Heh… and Mambo and Quiksilver…” Jian Ming joined in.

“Yah lor, yah lor and there’s also Diesel and Timberland…. I know these should be the last things on my mind right now with my Pa’s situation being so tight but…. Haiz.. maybe I’m just wishing that sometimes, we can just live in fantasy…. Even if it is just for a few hours…. Just to refresh our minds and get away from it all…” And Wei Xiong drifted off dreamily again….

“Eh, you always mentioned your Pa, never about your Ma… You never see her before meh? And how come your aunty always comes over?” Jian Ming suddenly became curious.

“My aunt…, Pa’s sister, comes over every evening just to cook dinner for Pa and I lah. You want to know about my Ma ah..? She… left us about 6 years ago… My Pa don’t like it when I mentioned about her… He calls her 臭女人…”

“Wah, so serious ah? What happened?”

“I heard Pa met her last time in a night club. She was a singer there and about 22yo then and Pa was already 39yo I think.”

“No wonder your Pa looked so old to me… Most of our schoolmates’ Pa are about forty plus and yours is fifty plus liao…”

“Ya lor.. Anyway, I heard Pa was quite rich den and always go to the nightclub to hear Ma sing. He would den woo her with lots of flowers or take her out on weekends; he was every bit like a true gentleman. Then they got married 2 years later… That was also when things started to change liao.

I heard Pa’s business started to drop after I was born. Maybe because of that, he started to hate me so much.. I dunno… really dunno… And maybe because Pa and Ma’s age gap too big or what, they started to quarrel very often. Pa don’t like Ma to work in the nightclub but Ma insisted. Pa’s business already slow down but he won’t admit it. Someone has to put food on the table and pay for the roof over our heads. Then I heard Ma also did other things in the nightclub… She came home later and later every night. Then she din come back one night but only next morning... They started to quarrel and Pa slapped her very hard… She cried a lot next two days… din go back to work because her face became swollen… Then one afternoon at about 2pm after I came back from school, I found she had cooked me a very nice lunch. Got four dishes… usually only two…. She sat there and watched as I ate greedily…Once in a while, she would pick some meat up with her chopsticks and put into my bowl and asked me to eat it... Then suddenly she came over and hugged me and began crying... I asked her what’s wrong but she won’t say anything else other than she loved me very much... Then she put $100 in my shirt pocket and said that it is for me to buy food for myself whenever I am hungry. After that, she walked out of the door… And I never saw her after that for a few years liao.

Then she surprised me one day when the PSLE results were out. I did quite well and she saw my results posted on the school’s notice board. She saw me and passed me some money again…$100 like the last time…Said it was for doing well in school. I grabbed her arms tightly and din want to let her go. I told her to come back to live with us… that I need her very much.. But she said she can’t… that I’m too young to understand adult things… Then she left again. I haven’t seen her since…” Wei Xiong started to sob uncontrollably after recounting his unhappy past.

“Ssshhh, 别哭…来, 别哭…ssshhhhh…” Jian Ming put his arms around Wei Xiong’s scrawny frame to pacify him.

“Why can’t I have a simple and loving family just like you or anybody else?? Why is my father always so fierce towards me?? How come I don’t have a mother to look after me? What’s the difference between a mother who is dead and a mother who doesn’t want you…??” Wei Xiong sobbed even louder.

Jian Ming doesn’t have any answers for his best friend. He felt so helpless in that situation. There was nothing he could do other than giving his best friend’s shoulder a warm rub.. “Sshh, dun cry… I will look after you… I’m your Kor, remember? You can always come over to my place. My Ma and Pa both very friendly… They will treat you like their own children too… sshhh… And one day during the school holidays, we both go look for your mother, ok? I promise you… Ssshh….”

“What if she doesn’t want me or even want to see me?”

“No lah, there’s no such in this world as a mother who does not care for her own children…来, 别再想太多了. 总之我会帮你找你妈…”

“You promise??”

“Cross my heart…”

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 12

Weeks passed by quickly, soon the Mid-Autumn Festival was around the corner…

Holland Village is flushed with shops selling the ubiquitous mooncakes and lanterns. (Why Holland Village?? Or have you all forgotten this story is set in the old HDB blocks situated at Holland Close next to Holland Village?) It seemed like Chinatown has come to the heartlands…

The boys gawked hungrily at the colorful mooncakes displayed inside Bengawan Solo cake shop. Which teenager you know wouldn’t give the world for a morsel of those heavenly ambrosia to satisfy their sugar cravings?

“I like those snow skin ones; they’re so colorful…” Wei Xiong pointed to those kept in the refrigerated display counters.

“I still prefer those ordinary baked ones.. no egg yokes… yucks…” Jian Ming joined in. “Hope my sis will bring some back this year since she is married to a businessman liao… Then I’ll hint hint to her I also want the snow skin ones this year.. hehe..”

“I dunno whether I’ll even get to eat any mooncakes this year… dun think we’d be celebrating… Just Pa and myself… I dowan to be stuck at home with him eating mooncakes and staring at the stupid tv anyway...”

“We celebrate together lor…”

“Dowan, it is a time for families to be together. I dowan to take you away from your family.. You dunno how lucky it is to have a happy family…”

“Ok, maybe I celebrate with them first then we have our own after that? I also dowan to hang around the house for too long, wait kenna wash dishes…” :whistle:

“Hmmm.., I have a plan liao!!” Wei Xiong suddenly brightened up.

“What? Tell me!” Jian Ming insisted.

“Not now, I want this to be a surp…”

“YES?? Are you both here to buy anything??” A salesgirl rudely interrupted their conversation. :swear: The weather has been hot lately and she has seen more than her fair share of students coming into her cake shop on the pretext of buying cakes or kuehs when the apparent truth was to enjoy the cool air conditioning.

“Oh, erm.. errr, never mind…” The boys were startled and left the shop immediately.

They continued walking and soon the fragrant aroma of freshly brewed coffee enticed the boys towards the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf outlet. A bunch of boisterous students from ACJC could be seen monopolizing the larger tables inside while two undergrad couples were spotted sitting in quiet corners away from them and revising their studies…

“Gosh, I wonder how those ACJC students can afford to go inside for a drink.. I mean the coffee is soooo expensive! The cheapest is three plus and the ice-blended about four plus onwards…” Jian Ming wondered in amazement.

“Aiya, I bring you somewhere else where the coffee is even better and cheaper! I spend you lor..” Wei Xiong replied.

“Huh?? Got such a place??” Jian Ming was surprised.

“Ya, it is at Blk 12, Holland Close, 11th floor….” Wei Xiong chuckled.

“Don’t joke lah… your Pa buys coffee powder from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf meh?”

“No lah, there’s nobody in my house now... You come over and I’ll make the best coffee in the world for you!” Wei Xiong boasted.

It was a brief 10 min’s walk to Wei Xiong’s place. The 3-room flat was simply furnished but some of the furniture looked like they had seen better days and more comfortable surroundings…

“We’re always on the run lah, so the fewer the furniture there are, the more convenient it is for Pa and myself...” Wei Xiong seemed to know what was on Jian Ming’s mind.

“Oh… so… where’s the coffee??”

“Oh, coming up, Sir! Please take a seat first, Sir!” Wei Xiong started playing the mock role of a barista before darting quickly into the kitchen. The sound of brisk stirring could be heard coming out from the kitchen while Jian Ming started exploring into Wei Xiong’s room.

The room was simply furnished with a single mattress and an old 3-tiered bookshelf that was about to yield to the volume of books stashed mercilessly into every possible space available. Surprisingly, there was none of that sweat smells or rancid scalp grease odor that was so prevalent in all his neighbors’ flats. :thumb: Then his attention was drawn to some pictures that were hanging on an otherwise bare wall. He approached them for a clearer view…

“That’s an old pic of my Ma and me lah.. taken at MacRitchie…” Wei Xiong called out from behind as he handed Jian Ming his coffee.

“Wah, she quite pretty den, hor?” Jian Ming offered.

“Wad you mean then?? I bet my Ma still quite pretty!” Wei Xiong replied defensively.

“对不起, 那当然, 那当然…” Jian Ming quickly corrected himself when he realized he has just made the ultimate faux pas. “Eh, we use this picture to go look for your Ma this September holiday? She so pretty, should be able to find easily…”

“Not sure where she’s working at now… Hope she din change her job…”

“Where she last working at? We can go back there and ask the people lor…” Jian Ming suggested.

“Good idea… Ok, try my coffee first.., getting cold liao…”

Jian Ming took a sip… Yes, it was nice and sweet; the way all kids their age would like it. Then again, how can someone like either of them tell apart a cup of Blue Mountain from the humble cousin served at the neighborhood coffeeshops? “Wah, really nice and sweet! Bet it is better than those at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf… How you do it ah?” Jian Ming complimented.

“Ahem… I use Super 3-in-1 lah. Best of all the 3-in-1s…, about ten cents per pack only during NTUC promotions… cheap but nice rite??” Wei Xiong proudly proclaimed.

“Ya, nice… You always have great ideas…”

“Aiya, like that old Ikea ad always say “You don’t have to be rich to be clever” mah…” Wei Xiong boasted smugly.

“True, true… I must learn to think like you… Ya, it’s true, we don’t need to have money in order to have a good time…”

“Yeah… Kor..”

“Ya?”

“You come over often then I make nice coffee for you to drink?”

“Ok, I sure come wan…”

“You promise?”

“Promise…” :thumb:

[marky]

Anyone of you love the Taiwanese girl group S.H.E? Anyway, I'm featuring one of their songs here... Happy reading

我带你回家 – Chapter 13

So the days passed by quickly… Soon it was the Mid Autumn Festival. It seemed to Jian Ming that Wei Xiong has been behaving oddly during the days running up to the festival itself. Other than walking to and from school together, Wei Xiong had made himself scarce. He had also temporary barred Jian Ming from coming to his house and even made him promise not to go up to the rooftop for the time being; it was all part of the surprise Wei Xiong had in mind for their private mid-Autumn celebration, he was told.

“So, you going to tell me what’s going on??” Jian Ming asked again that afternoon.

“Aiya, told you it’ll be a surprise liao! Let’s consider this as our first date?” Wei Xiong teased. :whistle:

“Oh ya.. our first date…, you want me to bring flowers or not?” Jian Ming teased back.

“You just remember to bring a piece of mooncake. 8.30pm sharp, ok? And if possible.. maybe bring your radio along so that we can have music.”

“Ok, hope my sis remember my snow skin mooncake request…”

That evening, Jian Ming rushed up to the rooftop punctually with his precious mini compo only to find Wei Xiong was already there waiting for him. Since it was the boys’ first date, both were dressed in their Sunday best. The moon that evening was resplendent; the entire rooftop was bathed in a bright silvery shimmer. Hanging on a string tied between two poles nearby were two brightly lit paper lanterns; one blue and the other green – their favorite colors. A warm smile greeted him…

“Great! You’re on time!” Wei Xiong greeted.

“Wah, you cut your hair ah? 这么夸张哦….”

“Date mah…, 你也不是一样,穿得那么票亮哦…”

And so the boys wasted no time in settling down on their usual favorite spot. Wei Xiong started unwrapping the mooncakes while Jian Ming turned the radio on to YES93.3FM, the favorite station of the heartlands.

“Sorry, my sis din buy the snow skin type so I brought only the normal type…” Jian Ming apologized.

“Never mind, look what I got here! No yoke some more…” Wei Xiong beamed as he unwrapped a serviette covered package in his hands; it was a baked red bean paste mooncake, the kind that Jian Ming likes. It was half mashed but nonetheless still edible. :oops: “Sorry I accidentally dropped it just now… but it is still edible lah.” :oops: :oops:

“No problems lah, can eat ok liao. So how did you manage to get the mooncake and lanterns?!” Jian Ming was surprised.

“Aiya, so simple. There’s this church group which meets regularly every Wednesday in one of the blocks. So I half suspect that they sure organize something for the old folks this week. So I was there when they were at the void deck last night celebrating with the old folks. Got so many lanterns and leftover mooncakes, so I don’t think they mind when I pinched them when the gathering was over lor. But hope you don’t mind, these are charity mooncakes so only have the cheap red bean paste, no lotus seed type…Maybe I’ll try harder next time….” Wei Xiong felt a little embarrassed with that revelation.

“No lah, I am more than happy to eat it! Wah, you really smart hor? I got so much to learn from you..” Jian Ming tried to console Wei Xiong. Suddenly the introduction of a song he liked came on the air waves.. “Hey! That’s my current favorite song by S.H.E. !! (Right Click here) Xiao Xiong, y… you erm…. wanna try dancing?”

“Sure! Have been waiting for you to ask me!!!” Came the enthusiastic reply. And Wei Xiong wondered if Jian Ming too had been planning to ask him for a dance all these while…

今夜星光很閃耀　這次約會你先到　你把頭髮給剪短了　更有味道

我們談著聊著　每一次總又回到那些舊時光　你以前對我就很好

短暫分開的緣故　回憶變的有溫度　聰明的你是否也有了　新的領悟

你常說　單純就是幸福　某個人是上帝給你的禮物

不論距離有多遠　相隔多久　一輩子要保護

Can you feel love tonight? 我像漫步雲海　你每一句話　都是无可取代

愛是未知數的集合　結果有好有壞　答案最後一分鐘才解開

Can you feel love tonight? 儘管跨大步去愛　每一刻擁有　都是无可取代

半夜三更爬上屋頂　我們看著天空　從黑轉白　快樂就在幾公尺之外…

So the boys stood up, awkwardly but instinctively held each other by the waist and started to gyrate slowly in rhythm to the sentimental music. It felt so wonderful. The music was good, the company was better, the mooncakes were delicious but most of all, the mood was fantastic. The feeling of holding the body of someone whom you’ve loved so much is just indescribable.

“Look at the moon, Xiong, it looks like it is smiling and happy for us…” Jian Ming began after a while.

“The stars too! Look, they sparkle like diamonds!! 一闪一闪亮晶晶...” Wei Xiong started singing.

“好像你微笑眼睛…..” Jian Ming joined in the song with his own improvised lyrics.

“Kor.., thank you for everything.. thank you for being my kor… thank you for your friendship…” Wei Xiong began again after a while, and he wrapped his arms tightly around Jian Ming’s waist.

“I should be the one thanking you, you know? I’m so glad I got to know you. Thanks for this night and wish this song will never end…” Jian Ming replied as he gingerly nudged Wei Xiong’s head to rest on his shoulders.

“I wish this night will never end… I want you all to myself tonight… ” Wei Xiong mumbled bashfully as he buried his head between his Kor’s neck and shoulders, and unabashedly took long sniffs of the person he liked so much . He could smell that Jian Ming had just showered and his clothes had a nice detergent fragrance.

And he was in heaven by then. This night is the night Wei Xiong has been dreaming of for weeks; the day his Kor would come and rescue him from his boredom and plight. It doesn’t matter if it was just a silly dream, because it was better than reality. Reality is always harder to take, harder to accept. It is also harsher and cruel. It was in his dreams that he could temporary take refuge and be recharged... It was also in his dreams that Jian Ming would love him unconditionally, unreservedly and wholeheartedly.

And the boys continued their love dance on their roof top sanctuary with the moon casting its glitter like a limelight on the boys. Yes, this was indeed the boys’ night and the silvery moon was rejoicing with them in their moment of bliss. And their love anthem played on….

只要狂風暴雨就有你在　只有真愛才能預言未知的將來

只等我們一起努力　游過時間的海　讓我們承諾今天要比昨天快樂

Can you feel love tonight? 我們迎接未來　愛的每一秒　都是无可取代

我們經過一些事情　吹著回憶的風　然後明白　原來快樂從不曾離開

原來真心　无可取代

无可取代 - by S.H.E.

Edited January 16, 2011 by marky

[Guest oh please]

yawn ..... gosh you should know when to stop rambling.

[Guest oh please]

懂得见好就要收。又没突破或新意、千篇一律。

[Guest slayer]

oh please,

perhaps your pathetic life has been too scarred for you to feel the tenderness of these stories. Perhaps you lonely and cynical persona is too entrenched in self pity to recognise the human side of person to person relationships.

I suggest you go spread your melancholy elsewhere and not tarnish this otherwise loving thread.

[marky]

Oh please : You must understand I don't write to gain attention. If I did, I would have stopped long ago once there are no replies of appreciations etc. I write because I know there are silent readers out there Anyway, you do know regardless what you have mentioned, the story will go one rite? Kekekeke....

And thanks to slayer and harry for a show of support. If ever we do get to meet, I'd buy you guys a drink. KeKekeke...

I wonder if anyone here comes from broken families. If you do, my heart goes out to you. I won't say I know how you feel... but maybe through this chapter and the next, you can relate to it....

我带你回家 – Chapter 14

The friendship between the boys became even closer after that Mid-Autumn Festival evening. And the one week vacation finally came. It was a time for going on short family overseas trip for most but not for the boys as they were busy preparing for their year end O’level examinations.

“Come, let’s go look for your Ma this evening like I promised you last time…” Jian Ming began gulping down the last sip of Wei Xiong’s coffee which he has grown to love so much. It has become a regular affair that he spends the afternoons over at Wei Xiong’s house before his stern father returns from work. “Let’s start with where she last working…”

“Wah, that was at least three over years ago. If she’s still there then we start off with Chinatown lor..”

So the boys found themselves at Chinatown by about 6pm. They reckoned that if they started early, then they’d at least have more time to look for her and catch her before she gets busy.

And Chinatown was completely different from the one Wei Xiong knew back then; food alleys and boutique hotels sprouted out from nowhere and the ongoing construction of the North-East MRT line took away much of the charms of yester years. The boys started off at Keong Siak St which was closest to the MRT station where they alighted. It didn’t help that Wei Xiong couldn’t remember which lane or which night club his Ma used to work in. And his mother would probably have adopted some stage name so dropping names may not be helpful. All he was relying on was that photograph of himself and his Ma taken at MacRitchie which he was clutching so tightly to his fists for fear of losing it.

They worked their way though Temple Street, Smith Street, Carpenter Street and Pagoda Street etc each time only to be turned away with the same negative replies. Wei Xiong was glad to have Jian Ming with him because each time they were turned down, it was his Kor’s optimism and encouragement that gave him hope and kept them on their quest to find Wei Xiong’s long lost mother. It was closed to 7.30pm by then and the boys felt tired, hungry and demoralized. They were walking about aimlessly when they heard a commotion in the Hokkien dialect in one of the back alleys…

“WHY SHOULD I ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO SERVE THOSE CHEEKO PEKS!? THEY ALWAYS ORDER ONLY A FEW BOTTLES AND WANT TO TOUCH BACKSIDES! WHY DON’T YOU ASK THAT SI LUCY INSTEAD!!? WHY ALWAYS LET HER SERVE THOSE BIG SPENDERS!!?” A woman was heard shouting at a man who appeared like a proprietor of one of the bars.

“EH, KA NI NA…YOU WATCH YOUR BLOODY MOUTH! I DON’T CARE WHETHER THEY ARE CHEEKO PEKS OR YAN TAO KOS. AS LONG AS I ASSIGN YOU TO SERVE THEM, YOU SERVE THEM!”

“LAN JIAO! I KNOW YOU PURPOSELY GIVE ALL THE GOOD CUSTOMERS TO LUCY AND MINE ALL KENA SAI. I HAVE TO MAKE A LIVING TOO! YOU THINK I DUNNO WANT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO!?”

“Psst, doesn’t that look a bit like your Ma?” Jian Ming asked.

“Oh dear, I really hope not…” Wei Xiong was disappointed. Nevertheless, both the boys inched their way cautiously nearer to the scene to take a closer look.

“SO WHAT IF I GIVE LUCY ALL THE BEST CUSTOMERS!? YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF! FORTY YEAR OLD LAO KWAY BU LIAO STILL WANT TO BE CHOOSY! YOU THINK YOU’RE STILL YESTERDAY’S SONGBIRD IS IT? COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY IF THOSE CHEEKO PEKS EVEN WANT TO TOUCH YOUR SAGGING BREAST!!”

“HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THAT! WHEN NIN LAO BU WAS A HOT STAR YOU WERE STILL SUCKING YOUR MAMA’S NEH NEHS!” :swear: The angry woman took an empty beer bottle and hurled it at the man, missing him only by inches because he ducked.

Wei Xiong took a second look at the photograph in his hands in confirmation before looking at the fierce and hysterical woman again; he was disheartened… “Kor.., it’s her, Kor…” Wei Xiong was a little traumatized by the scene.

Jian Ming sensed the dismay in Wei Xiong’s reply and he held him tightly by his shoulders to comfort him. “Ssshhh, dun worry, what’s important is we found your Ma liao… Sshh, I’ll stand by you no matter what happens…” And they both walked even closer towards her till they were just a couple of metres apart.

“YOU CHAO CHAR BOR. HOW DARE YOU THROW BOTTLES AT LIM PEH!” The man lurched forward and gave the woman a hard slap. “YOU CHAO CHAR BOR! YOU NEVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR LATELY IS IT!? YOU STILL THINK PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR YOU SING IS IT!? NOW YOU SELL BEER PEOPLE ALSO DOWAN TO BUY FROM YOU! HOW DARE YOU EVEN TALK TERMS WITH ME YOU BLOODY CHAO CHAR BOR!! ALL YOU BRING IS BAD LUCK TO ME!!!”

One hard slap was all it took to deliver the cold truth to the woman and reduced her to an emotional wreck. She covered her face and sobbed quietly while the man walked back into the bar fuming mad.

Wei Xiong inched closer towards her with Jian Ming trailing close behind as if half ashamed to be present at the scene.

“Ma…” Wei Xiong called out to her softly.

The woman didn’t hear his call nor see him as her tear soaked face was still covered by her hands.

“Ma…, it’s me, ah Xiong…. Ma…” Wei Xiong called out a little louder this time and he also tugged at her sleeves.

The woman uncovered her face and temporary stopped her angry sobbing to look at who had just touched her... “Oh.. oh, it’s you..” She didn’t know what else to say at that moment for Wei Xiong’s presence had caught her totally by surprise…

“Ma.., that man…”

“Ssshhh, don’t worry about that man... he is crazy! 来,乖孩子, we go elsewhere for a while…” Wei Xiong’s mother quickly wiped away the last traces of tears on her face and led the 2 boys away from the shameful scene....

******

“You guys must be hungry by now, right? Let Ma buy something nice for you all to eat…”

Dinner was at the nearby Maxwell Food Centre. The spread of curry and the crispy deep fried Hainanese pork chop from the famous hawker stall would have whet up the appetite for most but not at this table. The atmosphere was rather tense; Wei Xiong was still traumatized by the earlier incident, his mother was ashamed her son and his friend had witnessed the entire event, while Jian Ming felt rather awkward to be present… There was nothing he could do other than to stare blankly at a distance; the last thing he wanted is to get involved. And he pretended he couldn’t hear any of the ongoing conversations…

“Wah, Xiong, y.. you have grown quite tall liao ah??” Wei Xiong’s mother tried to start a conversation.

“Mmm…” Wei Xiong nodded glumly.

“How’s school? Where you studying now? Can you cope with your studies?”

“I’m taking the O’levels this year…”

“Wah, time fly so fast hor? The last time I saw yo..” Wei Xiong’s mother suddenly stop when she realized she had said the wrong things.

“Yes, the last time was like four years ago liao..!”

“I.. I know… Ma has been busy…. very busy….” Her voice tapered off at the end.

“Too busy to come home? To busy to even see me? All my friends have mothers at home except me! Even Jian Ming here has a mother at home! Why can’t you come home with us? I want you, Ma…!!” Wei Xiong looked at his mother with pleading eyes.

“There’re some things you won’t be able to understand….. 大人的事小孩子最好别管这么多.…快吃吧…”

“我不要吃!! 上一次你离开我的时候也是在叫我吃!!! 你知道我们多么困难才找到你吗???”

“妈不是这个意事… 快吃吧, 食物冷了就不好吃…来, 健明, 帮忙吃… 伟雄…”

“我只要吃你煮的菜…” Wei Xiong mumbled glumly…

Silence descended on the scene. Wei Xiong’s mother was taken aback by that last statement. It was apparent to her that her son has indeed grown up. But it was too late for her to change things around. Wei Xiong will never understand her plight nor her decision to leave the family… Tears started forming in her eyes again. She quickly opened her purse and took out some cash…

“Jian Ming, you seemed like an intelligent boy. Aunty has to get back to work now. Please take this money and help me look after my son, ok? And Wei Xiong, Ma really loves you but please don’t come and look for Ma again in future, ok??” And with that, she stuffed two $100 bills into Jian Ming’s reluctant hand and quickly dashed off to avoid letting Wei Xiong see the sorrow on her face.

“MA!! MA!!! MA!!!!!!!” Wei Xiong cried out and ran after her in vain. He too was crying by now…

“Wei Xiong!! Wei Xiong!! 你冷静一点!!” Jian Ming caught up with his friend and gave him a consoling hug. “Ssshhh, ssshhh…, dun cry…. dun cry…. sshhh…… I’m here for you…. Sshhhh…..”

“冷静!? 你叫我怎样冷静下来!!? 哪!!你自己都听到了!! 我妈不要我了!!!!” Wei Xiong shouted in frustration.

“不是的! 你妈一定有她的苦衷! 我相信她不会不爱自己儿子的! 你也要体谅她. 你冷静下来. Shhh….” Jian Ming consoled.

“Kor…. why can’t I have a normal family just like yours….?? My dad only wants to beat me and my Ma dowan me…. What did I do wrong in my past life….!! Religions always preach about forgiveness then how come 老天爷 himself can’t forgive me for whatever I did wrong in my past life!? How can I ever believe that there is actually a God somewhere up there who truly cares for me!!?? What is the meaning of ‘forgive is divine’!!??” Wei Xiong cried uncontrollably.

“Sshhh, I dunno… Kor dun have the answer… but kor will always be here for you, this I promise. I’ll look after you no matter what happens. Ssshhhh… dun cry…. sshhhhh…. Never mind if老天爷doesn’t want to do his job, I’ll always be here for you… I promise, ok? Kor will always be here for you…sshhh….”

And the two stood there in their tight embrace right in the middle of the pavement, not heeding a care to the passers by….

我想要有个家

一个不需要华丽的地方

在我疲倦的时候

我会想到它

我想要有个家

一个不需要多大的地方

在我受惊吓的时候

我才不会害怕

谁不会想要家

可是就有人没有它

脸上流着眼泪

只能自己轻轻擦

我好羡慕他

受伤后可以回家

而我只能孤单的孤单的

寻找我的家

虽然我不曾有温暖的家

但是我一样渐渐的长大

只要心中充满爱

就会被关怀

无法埋怨谁

一切只能靠自己

虽然你有家

什么也不缺

为何看不见你露出笑脸

永远都说没有爱

整天不回家

相同的年纪

不同的心灵

让我拥有一个家

我想要有个家

一个不需要华丽的地方

在我疲倦的时候

我会想到它

我想要有个家

一个不需要多大的地方

在我受惊吓的时候

我才不会害怕

谁不会想要家

可是就有人没有它

脸上流着眼泪

只能自己轻轻擦

我好羡慕他

受伤后可以回家

而我只能孤单的孤单的

寻找我的家

虽然我不曾有温暖的家

但是我一样渐渐的长大

只要心中充满爱

就会被关怀

无法埋怨谁

一切只能靠自己

虽然你有家

什么也不缺

为何看不见你露出笑脸

永远都说没有爱

整天不回家

相同的年纪

不同的心灵

让我拥有一个家…

Edited January 16, 2011 by marky

[marky]

In the midst of a sad situation... the boys found love... Again, if anything homoerotic upsets you, just click backspace to safe yourself the agony....

我带你回家 – Chapter 15

That evening, the boys discovered that they needed each other more than they ever needed anybody else… It has only been a couple of months since they first gotten to know each other but their lives have become so intertwined since. Each has always been there for the other in times of need. Even though Jian Ming may not have all the answers to Wei Xiong’s plight, it was Jian Ming’s warm and comforting embrace and standing by his good friend through thick and thin that saw Wei Xiong through tough times like these. And that night, Jian Ming saw Wei Xiong quietly walking up to a rubbish bin and tearing up the picture of his Ma which he had brought along with him before throwing it away. Perhaps, it was Wei Xiong’s way of letting go of the unhappy past and moving on with his life…

The boys walked around aimlessly along South Bridge Road in the direction headed towards town. Both were tired, hot and hungry. They wished they didn’t abandon the food earlier on to pursue Wei Xiong’s mother. All was silent; Wei Xiong wasn’t in the mood to talk and his eyes are still red from the earlier outpour of emotions but he wanted Jian Ming’s company nonetheless. Nothing meant more to him than Jian Ming right now…

It was close to half-past eight when the boys were near Raffles City.

“Xiong, remember our friends keep talking about some underground shopping near Raffles City? Shall we go check it out?” Jian Ming was the first to break the silence.

Wei Xiong nodded quietly. The last place he wanted to go was home anyway…

It wasn’t long before they found their way into CityLink, the hippest place to be seen then. The boys were bedazzled by array of shops and the people who ply its marbled walkway. The air was nice and cool and every other person they passed by seemed to be wearing some nice fragrance. Bread Talk was selling buns at prices worth more than the price of their MRT tickets home and they wondered to themselves whoever would part with $20 for just a ridiculous handful of Godiva chocolates… Then a shop caught Jian Ming’s eyes…

“Xiong, let’s go over there!” Jian Ming pointed at a distant ecstatically.

Standing before them was a shop of their dream… It was selling surf wear with the brands they’ve always talked about when day dreaming.

“Kor, look at those Quiksilver t-shirts, so cool…..” Wei Xiong finally spoke up excitedly. His red eyes were now as wide as an excited puppy’s.

“And Mambo beside it!!” Jian Ming was equally excited. And they both pressed their foreheads against the glass façade to get as close to the hip t-shirts as they possibly could…

“How I wish I could wear one of these….” Wei Xiong muttered forlornly.

Jian Ming heard his good friend’s wish and suddenly an idea came to him. “Come, we go into the shop!” He suggested.

“What!?? Dowan lah! They sure chase us out when they know we’re not buying anything!” Wei Xiong replied.

“They won’t lah. Look, so many people in there. They won’t have time to even follow us around!”

“I’m not sure…..”

“Aiya, dun 婆婆妈妈啦!” And with that, Jian Ming grabbed Wei Xiong by his hands.

Hand in hand, the boys entered the shop timidly and with trepidation.

“Go on, go look at the things you like and when you find them, pick one your size and we go try it in the fitting room, ok??” Jian Ming whispered softly to Wei Xiong.

“Orh..” Wei Xiong replied obediently.

It was fashion heaven for the boys. They rummaged through every shelf and rack in search of their dream wear. There was no time to lose as the store was closing soon. Thereafter, they squeezed themselves into a fitting room.

Once the fitting room door closed behind them, the boys lost no time in stripping themselves off their worn out clothes and donned their precious acquisitions. Wei Xiong was wearing a bright orange Billabong t-shirt and a black spandex Quiksilver tights while Jian Ming wore an electric blue Mambo tee with yellow Diesel shorts.

“Wah, you look very handsome in those clothes, Kor..” Wei Xiong commented as they both stared at themselves in the mirror before them.

“You look even better and sexy in that black tights!” Jian Ming returned the compliment.

“Actually, I think we both look pretty good in these… Haiz, if only we can afford them, then I’d be the happiest person in this world! But I guess being able to wear them right now is the next best thing liao…” Wei Xiong spoke longingly.

“I know what! Xiong, stand straight and look up!” An idea suddenly came to Jian Ming.

“What you mean??” Wei Xiong was puzzled.

“Just stand straight up; we’re going to take a picture right here!” Jian Ming commanded.

So the two boys posed before the mirror with their arms around each other’s shoulders like good buddies.

“Smile sweeter lah! Are you ready?? Say cheese……. Click!” Jian Ming simulated taking a photograph with his right thumb and index finger. “There! From tonight onwards, we each have a picture of us in these branded stuffs in our hearts liao! No one can ever take that picture away from us!!” He declared proudly.

“Awww, Kor, you are the best! Why didn’t I think of that!??” Wei Xiong was proud of Jian Ming’s creative idea.

“You are the one who taught me to be creative mah. Remember you said we dun need to be rich to be able to enjoy ourselves?”

The boys reluctantly removed their dream apparels not long after. The last thing they want is to be caught for being in the same cubicle together. And for the first time in their lives, they caught a glimpse of each other in just their underwear…

“Wah.., Kor, you have a nice body… nice and tan… got a bit of chest and the six durian seeds too ah. 好羡慕哦….” Wei Xiong complimented. :oops:

“You look very nice and cute yourself….”

Silence suddenly descended on the fitting room. And there was this sudden build up of tension in the air as they stood still and naked before each other facing the mirror. Then in one accord although nothing like this was planned before hand, they gave each other a tight embrace, neither wanting the moment to end. Face to face, skin rubbing against skin, they started exploring each other’s body gently…

Wei Xiong tip-toed a little to reach Jian Ming’s lips and gave him an awkward kiss. Jian Ming reciprocated by darting his tongue in and out of Wei Xiong’s mouth. Both the boys could fill their hearts thumping madly. Who can blame them for their awkwardness? Afterall this was their virgin kiss…

“Kor, I love you… I dun need these nice clothing to make me happy. As long as I have you I’m already very happy…” Wei Xiong whispered softly into Jian Ming’s ears as soon as they broke the kiss.

“I love you too, and we’ll forever be together I promise…” Jian Ming replied. And they kissed passionately again…

The shop closed soon after and the boys found themselves wondering about at the War Memorial Park directly above the CityLink Mall. Neither wanted the night to end so fast. This was a night both will always treasure in their hearts for many months to come. They finally rested their tired feet on the steps leading up to the Cenotaph. They held hands discreetly as they laid flat on their backs and gazed at the twinkling stars above them…

“一闪一闪亮晶晶...” Wei Xiong started singing.

“好像你微笑眼睛…” Jian Ming completed the phrase. And both of them started laughing. Yes, that song brought back fond memories of the recent Mid-Autumn Festival evening where they too were gazing at the moon and the stars just like they’re doing this very night.

“Kor, I’ll get you a better mooncake next year, ok? The lotus seed paste ones… the type Kor likes….”

“And I’ll look for a part-time job in Holland V after our exams. Maybe I can work at Burger King, KFC, Delifrance or Starbucks. And once I get my first pay I will buy you that Billabong t-shirt, ok?” Jian Ming began.

“I want to work too! Maybe we can both work at the same fast food restaurant! I hear they provide free meals too! And I’ll buy Kor a nice Mambo tee… The one with the two dogs humping each other. Haha…” Wei Xiong replied in jest.

“No lah, I dowan you to spend any money on me; you keep it all for yourself. Buy more food to eat; I heard canteen food cost more in JCs. Kor dowan you to starve during recess time mah…”

“Dowan, I want to spend money on Kor! Even if I only have $5 in my pocket, I will spend it on Kor! This is how much I love my Kor!”

“Ya, rite! As if Ah Boy here know what love really is!!” Jian Ming smirked in jest.

Wei Xiong suddenly turned over and held Jian Ming by both shoulders. “You know, I may not be able to express well what love is, but to me, love is after having spent your last cent on something for another person and you are totally broke. But you still feel very happy because you know he is happy to receive the gift. And you derive your happiness from his happiness…”

Jian Ming was suddenly at a loss for words after hearing what Wei Xiong has just said. Wei Xiong seemed to have grown more matured after all the trials and tribulations he has under gone… And he was touched by those sincere words… Tears started to swell in his eyes.

“Xiao Xiong, I’m so sorry I treated you badly last time. Kor is sorry he punched you the first day we knew each other. Kor also sorry for calling you 变态last time. I love you very much too, ok?” Jian Ming hugged Wei Xiong tightly and savored the warmth and tenderness of Wei Xiong’s body.

“Dun mention the past again Kor, I love you too…. Always have and always will…”

“Ok, it’s getting very late liao…better get going… 来,我带你回家…”

Edited May 23, 2009 by marky

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 16

Wei Xiong frowned as he looked at his watch. It was already 11.30pm by the time they reached the lift lobby of his flat. It was an hour past the usual time he got home. Jian Ming immediately detected the anxiety from Wei Xiong’s expression.

“You want me to accompany you back home in case your Pa asked what happened to you or where you went?” Jian Ming asked with concern.

“No need lah, I.. I think I’ll be alright… I really hope so…” Wei Xiong declined but his tone betrayed him.

“Ok, you take care then… Kor see you tomorrow, ok? Bye…” Jian Ming gave Wei Xiong another assuring hug before he went into the lift.

“Ok, bye, Kor… See you tomorrow…” Wei Xiong waved reluctantly as the lift door closed.

*****

Wei Xiong took the greatest of care while turning the keys to his iron grille gate, taking pains not to make the slightest of sounds. To his dismay, he saw his father sitting on the sofa waiting for him, his right hand tightly gripping onto a feather duster..

“Xiong! Come here!” The stern voice called out the moment Wei Xiong’s face peeped through the door.

“Orh…” Wei Xiong replied timidly before inching his way to his father.

“Where have you been!!?”

“Out.., just nearby… f.. forgot the time… I’m sorry Pa….”

“Forgot the time, huh? You can forget the time after all these weeks!!??”

“I said sorry liao…”

“That’s all??!! You think just by saying sorry I can forget everything izzit!? I already tahan so long liao! Don’t say I not patient; told you not to leave the house at night but you insisted and I close one eye about it! Now you come back later and later!!”

“But Pa, it’s the school holidays…”

“So what if it is holidays now!!?? You forgot about those loan sharks already izzit!?? You think you can take advantage of me izzit!!!? Huh!??” Whack! Whack! The blows from the feather duster landed on Wei Xiong’s arms and legs causing him excruciating pain.

“PA…!! PA…!! SORRY…. I’M SORRY!!! PA..!!!” Wei Xiong pleaded for his dad to stop. His pleas fell on deaf ears.

“WHY BOTHER SAY SORRY!!?? YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO DO IT AGAIN TO MAKE ME ANGRY!!! PA WORKED SO HARD TO FIND THIS PLACE TO GET AWAY FROM THOSE LOAN SHARKS AND YOU PURPOSELY WANT TO CREATE TROUBLES AGAIN!!”

“PA…!! PA..!! I SAID SORRY LIAO!!! I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!! I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!!!” Wei Xiong cried pitifully while using his fore arms to shield himself from the continuous blows from the merciless feather duster.

Suddenly there was a continuous loud banging at the door.

“XIAO XIONG!!! OPEN THE DOOR…!! OPEN THE DOOR, XIONG!!!” Jian Ming was knocking incessantly, demanding that the gate be unlocked. He was there to rescue his best friend.

Wei Xiong quickly open the door and ran straight into Jian Ming’s arms, pleading to be delivered from the situation.

“HEY UNCLE!! ENOUGH LIAO!! YOU WANT TO BEAT YOUR OWN SON TO DEATH IZZIT!!!??” Jian Ming shouted as Wei Xiong’s dad was about to deliver another blow.

“WHO THE fxxk ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW I SHOULD DISCIPLINED MY OWN SON!!!??”

“I’M HIS BEST FRIEND!! AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO USE THE CANE ON HIM ANYMORE!!! HE IS ALREADY 16YO LIAO!! WHATEVER HE DID WRONG YOU CAN AT LEAST REASON WITH HIM, NOT USE THE CANE!!! AND FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE HE ONLY CAME HOME LATE, NOT 杀人放火!! HOW CAN YOU ILL-TREAT HIM UNTIL LIKE THAT!!!”

“HEY!! I’M HIS FATHER! I’M THE ONE WHO PROVIDES FOR HIM! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE IN MY BUSINESS!! WHAT DO YOU KIDS KNOW!!!??? YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!!!”

“WEI XIONG IS MY BEST FRIEND!! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO STAND BY MY BEST FRIEND IN TIMES OF NEED!!! WE MAY STILL BE VERY YOUNG BUT WE ALSO HAVE OUR PRIDE AND SELF RESPECT JUST LIKE YOU DO TOO YOU KNOW!!????”

“RESPECT!!?? I MUST TEACH YOU A LESSON ON RESPECT TONIGHT!! ALL YOU BOYS KNOW IS CARE ABOUT YOURSELVES!!!”

“CARE ONLY ABOUT MYSELF!!?? WHAT YOU MEAN CARE ONLY FOR MYSELF!??” Wei Xiong finally shot back. “YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GOT THE FAMILY INTO FINANCIAL TROUBLES AND I NEVER BLAME YOU! YOU TOOK OUT ALL MY SAVINGS FROM MY POSB ACCOUNT AND I ALSO NEVER ASK YOU ABOUT IT!! I’M ALWAYS HUNGRY IN SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU NEVER GIVE ME ENOUGH POCKET MONEY BUT HAVE I EVER COMPLAINED TO YOU!!?? I’M NOT A DOG THAT YOU CAN KEEP LOCKED INSIDE THE HOUSE WHOLE DAY!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T NEED FRIENDS DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T HAVE FRIENDS EITHER!! YOU CANNOT FORCE ME TO STAY INSIDE THE HOUSE THE WHOLE DAY!!! YOU CHASED MA OUT OF THE HOUSE JUST LIKE THAT WITHOUT THINKING THAT I NEED HER TOO!! YOU MAY NOT NEED A WIFE BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT FOR ME??? I NEED A MOTHER….!!!! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH WHY I CAME BACK SO LATE!!???? THE TRUTH IS WE WENT TO LOOK FOR HER JUST NOW!!!!”

Wei Xiong’s father stood there tongue-tied after hearing that revelation. His countenance however was still as fierce as ever. And the three stood very still, each awaiting the other to make another move.

“I know you blame me for everything. I know you did badly in your business after I was born… I know because of that, you blame me for your poor business and whatever happened between you and ma etc. If you dowan me, just say so, dun have to beat me every time you have a bad day at work.. I’m not the one who asked to be born into this world you know…” Wei Xiong started crying again.

Wei Xiong’s father was flabbergasted and temporary at a loss for words. This was the first time he was hearing such things from his very own son. But there was no way he could put aside his pride and admit his own flaws and mistakes… Especially not when it was in front of another child…

“Come, Xiong, you will stay at my house tonight until your Pa come to his senses...” Jian Ming said while still hugging a sobbing Wei Xiong tightly.

“Where you bringing him? At least have the courtesy to ask me for permission first..” Wei Xiong’s father finally toned down…

“I’m telling you Wei Xiong is staying over at my place tonight, not asking you for your permission! At least I treat your own son better than you do…”

“Hey, don’t forget I’m the one who provides him with food and shelter…”

“And I’m the one who gives him the love and care which you never did…” Jian Ming shot back. And with that parting shot, the boys quietly locked the gates behind them…

*****

“You stay here first, I go explain to my Pa and Ma first…” Jian Ming instructed Wei Xiong the moment they reached Jian Ming’s gate.

Wei Xiong nodded and watched as Jian Ming went into his house and quietly knocked on his parents’ room door to have a word with them. He reappeared moments later. “Xiong come in. Ma and Pa said you’re welcome to stay anytime.”

The boys made their way quietly into Jian Ming’s room and Jian Ming quickly gave Wei Xiong a fresh towel and a change of clothes so that Wei Xiong could shower immediately as it was way past mid-night.

Wei Xiong hardly spoke a word throughout this time. It was as if he was ashamed that Jian Ming had witnessed his caning earlier on. Jian Ming felt awkward too but he knew then that Wei Xiong needed some peace and quiet to work things through.

“Nah, we can share the same bed… you sleep inside and Kor will sleep outside…” Jian Ming offered.

Wei Xiong nodded silently and climbed into Jian Ming’s bed and quietly went to sleep with his back facing Jian Ming… Jian Ming frowned heavily; he wished at that very instant he was an adult who knows what to say in moments like these to comfort his best friend… He hated himself for not being able to do anything to cheer Wei Xiong that very moment. Then he remembered the image he had of Wei Xiong on that very first night when he was attempting suicide - a young teenager supposedly in the prime of his life much like himself, but like a tragic rose bud that has been plucked off the stem, thrown onto the ground to be trampled on before it even had the chance to bloom… And suddenly he felt his bed shaking mildly… that trampled rose bud was silently weeping…

“Ssshhh, Xiong, go ahead and let it all out… you will feel better after that... Kor will always be here to protect you…. Sssshhh…. I made that promise to you last time and I’ve been faithful so far. Remember this – don’t worry if nobody wants you; Kor wants you… Ma and Pa also welcomes you. They know all about you because I always share with them. And they say you can stay here for as long as you like… Sssshhhh… take it easy...” Jian Ming moved closer to Wei Xiong and hugged him from behind and coaxing him to a peaceful sleep…..

Wei Xiong did not go home for the next few days. It was the week long school holidays after all. He wore his Kor’s clothings and ate the same food Kor ate; in short he was very happy to be taking refuge over at Jian Ming’s house. And the boys spent their time mostly on revising their schoolwork for the coming final exams. And when their minds get saturated, they start daydreaming… They would talk about going to the same nearby JC the following year and doing the same courses. They would also talk about taking up part-time jobs to extricate themselves from their current web of poverty.

Wei Xiong even surprised Jian Ming one day by bringing him to that Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf outlet at nearby Holland V. The aroma of its coffee had enticed the boys there during the Mid Autumn Festival and they too can now walk in to try that famous ice blended mocha… All made possible by the $200 Wei Xiong’s mother gave them that evening a week earlier.

And just before the new school term started, Wei Xiong mustered the courage and went back to his own home on a Sunday evening with Jian Ming accompanying him all the way to the gate.

And all was quiet this time…..

[marky]

我带你回家 – Chapter 17

And so a new school term began, the final term. This would be the busiest and the most stressful period for any kid preparing for their O or A levels…

“Eh, I think one of your haversack strap is broken and going to come off liao..” Jian Ming pointed out to Wei Xiong one afternoon while the boys were walking home from school.

“Hmph, you still dare say. You are the one who tore it! Remember that first day you saw me? You pull my bag and din want to let go! Hmph!!” Wei Xiong put on a mock indignation; he could never be angry with his kor…

“Haiz, Kor该死, Kor该死… When is Xiao Xiong’s birthday? Kor buy you one as replacement, ok?” Jian Ming offered.

“No need lah, dowan Kor to spend money like that. Besides, bags are quite expensive; if you want, you can buy me a pencil case instead. Right now, I’m using a rubber band to tie everything together.”

“Wah, Xiao Xiong very considerate. Ok, Kor buy you a nice pencil case now and a new haversack once we both start working part-time, okie? So when’s your birthday?”

“My birthday ah…?? Damn unlucky one… 9th November… always so near to the exams… this year lagi worse… got O’levels…” Wei Xiong frowned. “Kor buy me the pencil case under one condition, can?”

“What??”

“Kor cannot spend more than $5, ok? Dowan to waste Kor’s money… I heart pain… ”

Jian Ming started looking around for a nice pencil case whenever he could. Wei Xiong’s birthday was about 5 weeks away and that would give him plenty of time to save up not just for the pencil case but also a cake as well. He wanted to make up for all the wrongs he had done to Wei Xiong in the past. He also suspected Wei Xiong has not had his birthday celebrated in the last few years and so he wanted to give Wei Xiong a pleasant surprise. He swore to himself that he will not let Wei Xiong be a trampled rose bud for as long as he could help it…

The weeks passed by quickly and soon it was the 9th of November…

“Ahem…, did somebody forget it is my birthday today…??” Wei Xiong hinted as the boys were walking home from school that evening.

“Of coz not! How can Kor forget such things…” Jian Ming grinned.

“Then where’s my pencil case leh??”

“Give you a surprise tonight!”

“Wad??” Wei Xiong insisted.

“Heh, dun tell you. I want to keep this a surprise like during the Mid Autumn Festival… You be at the rooftop at the usual time lor…” It was Jian Ming’s turn to keep Wei Xiong in suspense.

Wei Xiong went up to the roof top at 8pm as usual and this time, Jian Ming was already there waiting for him.

“祝你生日快乐.., 祝你生日快乐.., 祝你生日快乐….., 祝你生日快乐……..” Jian Ming sang while holding up a little piece of cake with both his hands as Wei Xiong walked up to him.

“Thank you Kor! Thank you Kor!! This is indeed a nice surprise!!!! I… I’m overwhelmed!!!” Wei Xiong exclaimed excitedly.

“Well, you also surprised me during the Mid Autumn Festival mah, so I cannot lose out to you mah….”

“Eh, how come got no candles for me to blow?”

“You crazy ah? How to put sixteen candles on this small cake?? Come, you close your eyes and make a wish fast. Then we better eat the cake liao. The girl at Bengawan Solo said it will melt very fast after taking out of the fridge..”

It was one of those petite cakes meant for couples; too pretty to eat…. And it was totally covered with a thick layer of milk chocolate and the wordings “Happy birthday to my best friend!” was written on top in white cream. Wei Xiong closed his eyes and made a wish..

“Ok! Done!!” Wei Xiong grinned widely after opening his eyes.

“What did Xiong wished for??” Jian Ming asked.

“That we will forever be best friends no matter what happens and that we will never be separated! That we will go to the same schools together, join the same CCAs together, go to army together, go to U together etc and etc lor…. Hehe… You make a wish too lah!”

“Not my birthday leh..”

“I dowan to wait till next year to celebrate yours mah. Let’s take this one as celebrating our birthdays together lor. Quick make a wish too. Cannot wish for the same things ah…!” Wei Xiong insisted.

Jian Ming closed his eyes and made a wish too. But he also declared his wish out aloud for Wei Xiong to hear… “I wished the same things as Xiao Xiong wished for just now… But I also wished that he will always be my best friend and I can celebrate his birthday for him every year!”

“Thanks, Kor, this is my most memorable birthday!!” Wei Xiong exclaimed. And they hugged each other tightly.

The boys took their time to savor the exquisite cake; Jian Ming had afterall took 2 weeks to save enough money for that evening’s extravagance.

“So, when do I get my present??” Wei Xiong asked bashfully after licking the last bits of chocolate cream off his fingers.

“Here, open this.” Jian Ming handed over a simply wrapped box which he had tucked into his rear trousers pocket all these while.

“Well, hope you don’t mind… I thought I can save some money by not buying unnecessary wrapping paper so I can get you a nicer present….” Jian Ming continued while Wei Xiong unraveled the many layers of newspapers.

“Wah, this is nice! This is very nice!! This is just what I needed!! Thanks!!” Wei Xiong exclaimed as the last unraveled piece of newspaper revealed a brightly colored printed fabric pencil case.

“I know it may not be worth a lot or really branded but I was really hoping you’d like it… Bought you a colorful one so that it can cheer you up whenever you feel down….”

“Of coz I do!!! I like anything that Kor buys for me!! And this is the very first birthday present I have in almost 3 years liao!! Thanks, Kor!!!” Wei Xiong insisted as he inspected every inch of his newest possession.

Jian Ming quickly took out some tissues from his pocket to wipe the residual chocolate cream off his hands before laying them on both of Wei Xiong’s shoulders. "Xiong, I have one more thing for you." He began seriously.

"Really!??... what is it?" Wei Xiong asked excitedly and he looked around, trying to find what else Jian Ming has for him.

"What I want to give you now cannot be seen and money also cannot buy. I know I said to you once that we cannot be anything more than just friends but I’ve changed my mind liao… For this sixteenth birthday of yours, Kor is also giving you his heart and himself. Do you want it?" Jian Ming asked sincerely.

Wei Xiong was stunned and tongue-tied for a while. This night was too special for him; everything went along like a fairy tale; all the surprises and the declarations. He was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions… “Yes, Kor, I want your heart. I want to keep your heart with me forever! I will cherish it everyday!! And from now onwards I’ll never feel lonely even if I’m alone because Kor’s heart is pumping inside me keeping me company liao…” Wei Xiong’s eyes began to water. “You take mine too, can? It is fragile, it has gone through a lot of hurts and rejections… don’t break it ok…??”

“Of coz Kor will take your heart! I’ll be so sad if you dun offer it to me in return. Kor promise to protect it from any harm just as he has already done all these months!! Nah, heart, you now go stay over inside Xiao Xiong’s body okie? Report back to me if anyone tries to bully him, okie!!!” Jian Ming said as he symbolically placed his hands cupped over Wei Xiong’s chest.

And they sealed their love for each other with a hug and kiss under the bright starry night…. (Right click here)

If you love me like you tell me

Please be careful with my heart

You can take it just don't break it

Or my world will fall apart

You are my first romance

And I'm willing to take a chance

That till life is through

I'll still be loving you

I will be true to you

Just a promise from you will do

From the very start

Please be careful with my heart

I love you and you know I do

There'll be no one else for me

Promise I'll be always true

For the world and all to see

Love has heard some lies softly spoken

And I have had my heart badly broken

I've been burned and I've been hurt before

So I know just how you feel

Trust my love is real for you

I'll be gentle with your heart

I'll caress it like the morning dew

I'll be right beside you forever

I won't let our world fall apart

From the very start

I'll be careful with your heart

You are my first romance (and you are my last)

And I'm willing to take a chance (I've learned from the past)

That till life is through

I'll still be loving you (I'll still be loving you)

I will be true to you (I will be true)

Just a promise from you will do (Only to you)

From the very start (from the very start)

From the very start (from the very start)

From the very start (from the very start)

Please be careful with my heart (I'll be careful with your heart) (Please Be Careful With My Heart – Jose Mari Chan)

[marky]

This is the concluding episode of my long story. Hope some of you can relate to the characters presented in this story. Last but not least, there's a brief mention of a certain race here which some and even myself will consider as derogatory. I kept to it simply because being politically correct is not what I want to achieve. What I do want is to portray real life and what people esp kids might say in the course of their daily life... Anyway, apologies in advance....

我带你回家 – Chapter 18 (Finale)

The days passed by quickly and soon even their exams were coming to an end. It was the morning of their last paper and the boys were making their way to school on foot as usual…

“I think we both qualify to go there with our prelim results…” Jian Ming pointed at ACJC as they walked passed the college on their way to their school.

“Yeah, shall we opt for the same courses? I wanna do science!”

“Me too…. eh, I think you better do something about your haversack strap. I think it’s going to break any moment liao… Maybe Kor get you a safety pin to secure it later after our paper…” Jian Ming cautioned Wei Xiong.

“No need lah, by 12pm today, we will both be the happiest people in this world liao!” Wei Xiong declared.

“Wah, you so confident about your Physics paper ah?”

“Aiya, I’m ok with anything that requires calculations mah…You must 加油 too, ok? Kor, what shall we do after the papers?”

“Aiya, I also think I can score lah… You want to go east coast park? We can go there to cycle, roller blade or go lay on the beach. Xiong so fair, must get a golden tan to look nice.”

So the boys made plans to rush home immediately to change out of their uniforms the moment their last paper is over. Thereafter, they’d take a bus to Parkway Parade where they’d alight and cut across the busy expressway to get to the beach. There would be no precious time to lose; any time spent delaying would mean less time available for the beach….

“Xiong, we give this paper our very best, ok? I do my best for you and you do the same for me!”

“And together we will try to excel in whatever we do so that we can go ACJC science stream together, right?” Wei Xiong added.

“Yes, we should try to excel in whatever we do. We must 出人头地!”

“Yes! 出人头地 in all that we do so that we can secure a better future for both of us! And we will be ahead of others even during working life so that we can earn more money than them! Then we can go walk into Bengawan Solo or Coffee Bean anytime we like with confidence and pride, and nobody will ever look down on us anymore!”

And they sealed their mutual aspirations with an emphatic hi-five…

Everything went well for the boys that morning; it was as if Heaven was on the side of the boys. And before long, the grueling 3-hour paper was finally over… The boys came out of the exam hall beaming away; stepping out of that hall also marked the end of their years spent at Fairfield Methodist School; a new and challenging future soon awaits them…

“Come, I race you home! East Coast Park here we come!!!” Jian Ming challenged as he quickly stuffed his stationeries into his bag.

“Ok! Last to reach home is a bayi!!” Wei Xiong joined in as he too stuffed that precious pencil box his Kor gave him on his birthday into his haversack before dashing off.

And away the boys sped off, running neck to neck along North Buona Vista Road, passed the bus stop outside ACJC where the older JC students glared at them with disapproving looks, never mind if they too behaved in a similar manner only a couple of years earlier.

“The sun’s going down liao hor if you don’t hurry…” Jian Ming shouted and teased Wei Xiong who was now a good 5m behind as they were approaching the Ministry of Education building.

“Slow down lah Kor, let me catch up....” Wei Xiong called out from behind.

“Last one bayi, remember???” Jian Ming chortled, not slowing down a bit… And he was the first to reach Commonwealth Ave. He waited a short while for a vehicle to pass by before attempting to dash across towards the bus stop.

Wei Xiong was closing the gap... Suddenly, he heard the sound of an object falling out of his haversack. Wei Xiong quickly turned back and saw that his precious pencil case has slipped out of an opening in his haversack when the strap snapped and gave way; the contents had scattered onto the road. Without a moment’s hesitation, he quickly stooped down to pick up his precious pencil case…

“Hey, kor, wait for me, your pencil c…..”

Jian Ming didn’t hear Wei Xiong calling out to him as he had already crossed the road. What he did hear just moments later however, stopped him in his path and made him turned around. The sudden loud screeching of a car coming to a halt could be heard. A loud dull bang followed as the driver failed to get his vehicle to stop in time. Oh no! Wei Xiong has been hit!!

“XIAO XIONG! XIAO XIONG!!” Jian Ming dashed over to the middle of the road to where Wei Xiong’s body had been flung forward by a few metres. “XIAO XIONG!! SAY SOMETHING!! PLEASE, XIAO XIONG!!” Jian Ming cried as he desperately tried to lift up his best friend’s fragile and broken body.

“K… Kor…, I s.. saved your p… pencil case.., kor.. I s… saved it…” Wei Xiong muttered weakly; his right hand was still clutching tightly to the pencil case he has grown to treasure so much.

“I know, I know… You good boy, Xiao Xiong, good boy… You will be ok… I promise! Someone will call an ambulance soon! You must hang on there! You must hang on…. We’re going East Coast Park, remember??” Jian Ming cried out aloud as tears flowed freely from his eyes.

Wei Xiong managed a weak smile as he savored that very moment where his kor was holding him dearly in his arms. He remembered that the only other time Jian Ming had ever really cried was for the person he once love, Hong Shen. He felt honored that he too has finally earned a place in Jian Ming’s heart…

“Kor, d.. dun cry… k.. kor… I.. v…very… hap.. py… y.. you.. my.. kor..” Wei Xiong managed in labored tone.

“I know.. I very happy too… Remember all the things we want to do this school holiday… We supposed to go work at MacDonald’s… go shopping, take neoprints together, remember? Xiao Xiong, you must hang on, ok?? There are many things waiting for us to do this school holiday….many things…And remember our dreams for our future….”

“Kor… j.. just h.. hold.. me.. t..ight… feel c… cold…k… kor….”

The pencil case slipped out of Wei Xiong’s hand and fell to the ground for one last time….

“XIONG!? XIAO XIONG! 你醒一醒啊!! XIAO XIONG!? XIAO XIONG!!!?? XIAO XIONG….!!!!!”

******

2 weeks later on a weekday evening over the airwaves…

“接下来的一首歌是一位叫健明小弟想点给他最要好的朋友,小雄,听的. 唯,健明你有什么话想跟小雄讲吗?” The DJ asked.

“没有,我要跟他说的全包含在歌词里…”

“好吧,我们现在就来听张清芳的 ‘我帶你回家’…” (Right Click here)

电话答录机里仍是你的留言

仿佛你从未曾走远

我总是开着窗户点亮一盏灯

仿佛你会回到我身边

我喝着你的咖啡走着你的路

仿佛下个转角会见面

我听你爱的音乐唱着你的歌

仿佛仍可以回到从前

你知道我不相信爱情

你知道我渴望的安定

你许给我的是 爱永无止境

天黑以后 你带我回家

轻轻抚着我的眉心

为我阻挡所有风雨

天黑以后 你带我回家

你看着我微笑的眼睛

像许多闪亮的星星

电话答录机里仍是你的留言

仿佛你从未曾走远

我总是开着窗户点亮一盏灯

仿佛你会回到我身边

我喝着你的咖啡走着你的路

仿佛下个转角会见面

我听你爱的音乐唱着你的歌

仿佛仍可以回到从前

我知道你再也不会醒

我知道你需要的安静

我说我爱你 直到末日降临

天黑以后 我带你回家

让我把你捧在手心

从此不会再有风雨

天黑以后 我带你回家

再也不必害怕孤寂

因为我们永不分离

天黑以后 我带你回家

满天里亮晶晶的星星

都是你微笑的眼睛

请问

天堂有公共电话吗 ?

是不是要排很久的队 ?

我不怕等

可不可以给我爱的人一枚硬币?

他很久没有对我说…我爱你… (我帶你回家 - 张清芳)

--- The End ---

[starzyne]

I dun care if anyone would comment about what I am gonna post here now...

I juz cried! I am so touched by the story!

This is such a lovely story even thou the ending is really sad... but like what many love stories have said, love is not about the end results, but it is the process... about how u love a person...

But the sad thing is how many of us really know what's LOVE!?

Marky, great work :clap:

Thanks!

[marky]

starzyne : thanks for reading and giving feedback to my story. It is my honor to hear from you A part of this story is actually taken from real life accounts... Yes, you are right to say that love is a journey... A journet worth all the heartaches or thrills. I hope that you have been on such a journey before Perhaps a week from now, I'd post another story...

[Flexagon]

Marky, thank you :_ ) There is no emotioncon for "Been Touched"

Your story defines love for a generation. And I eagerly anticipate your next masterpiece. :thumb:

Edited May 31, 2009 by Flexagon

[marky]

Flexagon : Thanks for your appreciation; that itself is better than any emoticon. Drop by again next week for my new story... I'd have to spend a few days updating and editing it first...

[Guest The Penile Poet]

Flexagon : Thanks for your appreciation; that itself is better than any emoticon. Drop by again next week for my new story... I'd have to spend a few days updating and editing it first...

Dear Marky,

Your stories really touched me and I have taken the liberty to archive it in my blog. I hope your story can continue to inspire others as it had inspired me.

A big THANK YOU!

[marky]

Welcome, glad dey inspired you. Care to share your blog wid me?

[Guest The Penile Poet]

Welcome, glad dey inspired you. Care to share your blog wid me?

I am actually quite embarrassed to post it here because it's quite carnal. But you know if you do a little "google", you may find it...hint hint! :whistle:

I do hope you continue to write, esp on your married life now and whether fate has chance you upon Kor Kor... :thumb:

[Guest Guest]

Managed to chance upon this thread exactly 1 later. Sorry for beating the dead horse and the writer might not even be active in the forum anymore. But the life stories posted by him are really poignant and compelling, esp the campus/university chapters. This is the first time i've read something that literally gave me sleepless nights. Some qns on my part, did the writer and his friend patrick made their choices due to the social stigma then? If it were to happen in the current era, would the story have taken a different turn instead, ending with 2 rather than 4 people?

[slim85]

I enjoyed reading the stories. Thanks marky for takng the time and pain to write them out.

Will there be any updates?

[coolspecs]

Oh my goodness gracious me...

I have been tearing since the first page of this thread and now that I have reached page four, I am so spent!

Thank you marky for the stories and especially your personal stories. I really hope you are happy this day and if not, may you be happy as soonest as possible.

:thumb:

[pinkberry]

Marky, your stories are really page turners!

Finished all four pages of this thread in one night

The stories are so touching. Make me tear so much :oops:

I'm new to this forum, but I'm really glad I chanced upon this thread :thumb:

[casper]

hi marky, thanks for sharing the stories and the personal side of your stories. Tears are clotting in my eyes as i read your personal encounter. I do feel you man... Anyway, hope to read more of your stories...keep it going... :thumb:

[CamperBoy]

Marky! Very beautiful stories about how your initial stages of gay life in the army.

Let me hijack this thread a bit lah.

Year was 2004. I got posted to BMTC for my NS. Bravo coy. I was in Section 2. There was this chn guy, lets call him XS in Section 3 whom I did not actually fancy or took notice. But as time evolves, I began to be more closer to him and the whole of Section 3. I spent more time in Sec 3 rather than my own.

At first, my relationship with XS was platonic. At night, I will sit on his bed and just chit chat about stuffs. Soon after, I will start lying down on his bed next to him. Already the bed is small, but he doesn't mind and even made some space for me. There was once when I entered his section, someone said, "wah you come here to take our food again is it?" (we always bring canned food and share but i took the bigger share lol). After that person said it, another one replied, "pls lah, you think he come here for the food meh, he is here for XS only!". I frowned at the person, but in my heart i actually liked it. But we were all friends. I'm not sure if the Section notice anything or not. I had a boyfriend back then, so I knew my boundaries.

How I cherished the memories with him. Short but everytime I look back, I will smile to myself. Once, after outfield, we were waiting for the tonner to arrive, everybody was shagged. He was sitting beside me, and slowly put his head on my shoulders and fell asleep. Most saw it. I wasn't asleep as I wanted him to be comfortable. During the 7 days field camp, his buddy fell sick. I will leave my own buddy and will go to his tent to sleep together. It was a nice feeling to be with him and waking up in his shoulders. I didn't even mind his smell. We will share cab home, and when in the cab, we will be sitting so close that we are rubbing shoulders. Everyone knew about how close we were.

When we got our postings, he smsed me he got into SISPEC. At that moment, I lost my HANDPHONE! I lost his contact and the rest of my army mates. I bought a new phone with a new contract with a new number. I do not know where he is right now, but wherever he is, I want him to know that I still think about him.

Sigh, all those time we were together, i guess we were more than brothers. When situation permits, we will always be together. Just to be close, to feel the warmth, the care the genuine feelings that we both had....

I miss you XS!

[marky]

Koaz, I didn't know that threads relegated to the rear will have a chance of being revived again

Anyway, thank you everybody for reading my stories. It is deeply appreciated. I haven't been visiting this site for months since I have been pretty busy.. which is a good sign since times hasn't been that good to many. Tis so nice to be back again Pinkberry brought to my notice that chapter 7 of my story 我带你回家 is missing, which oddly is true. Anyway, here it is again... Hopefully some kind moderator can help me slot it back to its rightful place... :oops: I will post another story soon as soon as I can edit a few chapters. Meantime, enjoy...

==================================

As requested, Chapter 7 has been inserted into the story.

Gachi

[marky]

I’ll Always Be There

Prologue

Every once in a while, there will be people asking me how I balance my double life. Well, I don't... The initial years after getting married was the toughest. Then came the internet which is a double edged sword; for the young and single gay, it opens up a whole new world to them... A world they never knew existed back then. As for the older and married gays, it opens up a pandora's box....

This story was written in 1999 specifically with the then MTV generation in mind. A reasonably good command of Mandarin is required as there will be a number of songs and conversations written in it. This is to reflect the bilingualism of our youths today. This one has a special significance for me as it was written during a period of my life when I was trying to get back to the straight path.

I was addicted to gay sex then but I had to try to wean off gay sex as I am married. A friend from San Francisco, Charles, from the old Blowing Wind forum, suggested that I turn to writing stories instead whenever the urge came. I took his advice. 6 months later, this story was completed. And yes, I didn’t stray during that period.

I met 2 important people during that period of my life too. They emailed me after having read my earlier works. They are Terrance and Ben. I used their names for this story. In fact, part of this story mimicked their real life. Sadly though, I’ve somehow lost touch with both of them a year after that….

This is a very long story. But if you have the patience to complete it, I guarantee you'd like it. Now get yourself a nice cup of water, switch off your lights and get the tissues ready.... Happy reading...

I'll Always Be There - Part 1 (Right Click here)

这一生在进取

这分钟却挂念谁

我会說是唯独你不可失去

好风光似幻似虛

谁明人生乐趣

我会说为情为愛仍然是对

谁比你重要? 成功了敗了也完全无重要

谁比你重要? 狂風與暴雨都因你燃燒...

一追再追

只想追踪生命里一分一秒

原來多么可笑

你是真正目標

一追再追

追踪一些生活最基本需要

原來早不缺少 WO..HA..

只得你会叫我彷彿人群里最重要

有了你即使沉睡了也在笑…… (追 - Leslie Cheung)

　　　

It was just another Saturday afternoon in mid-November and Tanglin Mall was already decked up and ready for Christmas. Sigh, not that Terrance was complaining, but it was a sure sign that the economy was still in the doldrums and every retailer was hoping to cash-in on the early Christmas shopping.

He had just booked out of camp and was on his way to visit his mom, Jessica, in hospital. They had arranged to have lunch together in her single-bedded room in Gleneagles Hospital and so Terrance decided to drop by Tanglin Mall first to get some food for himself before heading to the hospital. It has become a routine in the past many months or so to drop by the hospital every other day ever since Terrance's mother suffered a relapse in breast cancer.

Terrance bought two cans of Tiger and some sandwiches. He frowned when he had to cough up $8 for the beers; for that price, he reckoned he could get a 6-pack back at the SNCOs Mess! Still, he felt he needed the beer to calm his nerves a little after his mother had told him over the phone that she has some important issues to discuss with him that day. Not that they ever had problems with communications, as the mother and son pair got along very well, but Terrance sensed that somehow, things would be different today...

"Hi mom! How are you today?" Terrance greeted as he entered the room.

"Never felt better, Terrance, so are we ready to do lunch? It's already past 2pm and the nurses can't wait to collect the trays back." She managed a weak smile.

"Right on, mom!!" Came the respond and within minutes, the food was laid on the side table.

"Have you seen your dad lately?" Jessica enquired when lunch was almost through.

"No, why should I?" Came the curt reply.

"Sigh..., I wish you would treat him better, after all, he is your father..."

"He is NOT my father! I do not have a father!"

"Listen, Terrance, my time is running out; and before I go, I want to see the two of you reconciled. I want to see that you are provided for..."

"But mom! We've been able to get along fine without him all these years. I'm not young anymore, I can look after myself!! Besides, if dad is sincere in wanting to look after me, he would have done so a long time ago!"

"But he is.., if he could. It was just that circumstances then didn't allow him to look after us as much as he would like to; it's not like you don't know the entire story..."

"And you trust this irresponsible man to look after me when you die, is that it?? What if he abandons me again? What makes you think he's not ashamed of his bastard son right now compared to back then?"

"Terrance, who do you think paid for the medical bills here!!?? You!!?? Do you think for one moment that we could afford the expenses here? Who do you think has been coming to visit me on those other days when you're not around? It was your dad, Terrance! And you still think he is a shame of you? He has actually broken the news to his family and they are generous enough to forgive him and also accept you into their family. What more would you ask from them??"

"Then why didn't he come on those days when I'm around too, huh? Why..."

"Cos it was you whom we both felt were not ready. Look at you now, getting all upset at my mentioning of your dad! Can you be reasoned with?? And it wasn't his fault if his friends made him drink too much at the stag party the night before his wedding. It wasn't entirely his fault too that we had a moment of intimacy when we were both out of our senses! All that was twenty years ago, it's time for you to let go and move on in life...and I cannot leave this world in peace knowing there's still so much bad blood between you guys."

Silence enshrouded the room.

"Please Terrance, don't make this difficult for either one of us. Please do it for me, Terrance, please?" Jessica clasped Terrance's hands tightly.

"I'll do it if that's what you want..." Terrance nodded his head and mumbled.

"And I don't want you to give your stepmother or brother any problems, promise??"

"Mm..." Terrance nodded his head reluctantly again.

"Thank goodness for that, Terrance! I want you to know how happy I am right now. Even if I die today, I'll have no more worries."

"So when will I be seeing him?" Terrance asked.

"He's actually on his way this very moment...."

Sigh, Terrance heaved. He was hoping he could get a breather for the time being.

"Please Terrance, make your promise an unconditional one."

"Mm..." came the grudging reply again. And the two sat there quietly for the next half-hour watching tv. Then, there was a soft knock on at the door.

"Heeeey, how's everybody doing??" A man stood by the doorway with a warm smile; it was Terrance's father.

"Come in, Jeff, we've been waiting for you." Jessica smiled back and beckoned Jeff to come in and at the same time, giving Terrance a gentle nudge on the elbow to acknowledge his father.

"Uh..., hi dad." Terrance mumbled grudgingly.

"Yeah, hi Terrance, you look good.." And Jeff gave him a warm pat on the shoulders.

"I bet you guys have a lot of catching up to do. The weather's good, so why don't you guys go over to the nearby Botanical Gardens while I watch tv?" Jessica offered.

"That's a great idea. Is that ok with you, Terrance?" His dad asked nervously.

"Mm", came the same reply.

It was a short walk to the sprawling grounds of the Botanical Gardens. Father and son walked along aimlessly at arm's length, each awaiting the other to initiate a conversation. Jeff decided to lead the way and the two of them moved towards an ivy-covered gazebo for a chat.

"I used to bring your mom here, this very spot, occasionally in the past when the situation permits." Jeff began.

"I don't want to hear about the past." Came the curt reply.

Jeff frowned. He had thought Terrance would have mellowed down after all these years. "Terrance, I think you need to know the past; regarding your mother and me. Perhaps then you could understand why things had to go the way it did"

"I've heard it before..."

"Well hear it again....! My side of it; and I promise you I'll never bring it up again, alright?"

Terrance shrugged his silent consent.

"My good buddies organized a stag party for me the night before I was to wed your step mother. And yes, perhaps all of us had a little too much to drink that night. Then some smart-ass brought your mom to the party. She was supposed to tease me and all that. Everything went well till they decided to lock the two of us inside the hotel room. That's when neither one of us were totally in control of ourselves and..., and we had this moment of intimacy..... " Jeff stopped to clear his throat before continuing. Terrance looked like he was in a world of his own.

"I'm not proud of what I did but I really had to keep the entire matter a secret. We are a prominent business family here in Singapore and I just cannot let this matter jeopardize our family's reputation. I've met with your mom a couple of times after that when my friends told me she was pregnant. I told her I'll help out financially in taking care of you but your mother was one strong and independent lady. She declined my offers saying that I'm not to be held responsible for the matter since neither of us had planned it this way. And she has single-handedly brought you up since then."

Jeff paused again, hoping to see some reaction from Terrance who was just stared blankly into the distance.

"You know, there are times in our lives when we make silly mistakes which we'll live to regret later on..., but we just have to move...."

"I wouldn't pass that off as JUST some SILLY mistake; it was an error in judgment on your part!!"

"Okay, so it was an error in judgment on my part, but that was already twenty years ago and your mom and I..."

"I'M GLAD YOU REALISED THAT IT HAS BEEN TWENTY YEARS! FOR TWENTY YEARS! YES, TWENTY fxxkING LONG YEARS, I HAD TO ENDURE BEING CALLED A BASTARD IN SCHOOL!! MY CLASSMATES WHISPERED BEHIND MY BACK SAYING fxxkING THINGS ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU!! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS BORN!? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED A ROLE MODEL IN MY GROWING UP YEARS, HUH!!? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS RUNNING A TEMPERATURE AT 10? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO BE ENLISTED FOR NATIONAL SERVICE!!? AND NOW YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST fxxkING WALK BACK INTO MY LIFE AND CLAIM ME BACK AS YOUR SON!!??"

"Look Terrance, things are not as simple..."

"OH YES, THINGS ARE JUST THAT SIMPLE! YOU HAD YOUR OWN INTEREST TO PROTECT, RIGHT!!?? YOU HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD, RIGHT!!??" Terrance cut him off again. He stood up and got ready to walk off; he was furious. The memories of his classmates' teasing just wouldn't go away, what was worse was living with the stigma of being a illegitimate child.... Those years of verbal and mental torture had left a deep and indelible emotional scar inside him.

"I have to go now, tell mom I'll visit her another day." Terrance suddenly toned down. He turned away and left, leaving behind his broken hearted father to cry in silence…

"Hey, how did it go?" Jessica enquired when Jeff appeared at the door again.

"Quite well..., but Terrance had to rush off as he was busy..."

"Liar." Jessica smiled discreetly.

"Wh.. what, Jess!??"

"Look Jeff, I wasn't born yesterday. Terrance's my son; I know his temper very well.., I just hope you won't take it too hard on yourself. I'll try to talk to him again, alright?"

"Yeah, alright, Jess. But I don't blame him for thinking I've forsaken him all these years."

"Didn't you tell him it was you who supported him through secondary school? And what about all those Christmas gifts??"

"I don't think it's necessary for him to know all that if he really could let go of the past..."

"Oh Jeff.., you've been too hard on yourself."

"Nahhh, I think it's pay back time. I don't mind Terrance's verbal abuses if that'll make him feel better"

"Never mind, leave Terrance to me. I'll talk to him again. But what about your side? Have you really talked to Carol and Ben about it? What we really need here is acceptance."

"Yeah, it sure wasn't easy in the beginning. Sure, she cried about it knowing that something happened that night before her wedding but she was very forgiving. And Ben, well, he's a good boy and he took it quite well. It'll be good for him to have an elder brother who can take care of him too." Jeff smiled and brightened up when he talked about his family. Yes, his family meant a lot to him. They have been his pillar of strength and moral support whenever he was down. Ben was one son every parent would be proud to have; quiet, obedient and intelligent.

"Thanks, Jeff, for taking Terrance in as part of your family". Tears began to swell in Jessica's eyes.

"Don't cry Jessica, ssshh.... don't cry... I promise to take good care of Terrance, I promise!" Jeff reached over and held both her hands tightly and started crying too....

Edited December 22, 2010 by marky

[pinkberry]

Yay, the long awaited episode 7!! :thumb:

Thanks for digging it up and posting it

And double hurray to the new story as well, I sense another great story brewing!

[marky]

Thanks pinkberry, will post another chapter now and another later tonight...

Has anyone felt wronged or agrieved in his life before? I sure have.... As the middle child in the family, I felt neglected and often gets verbally abused by my dad. And it went on for years right to the day my dad died. And since there was no closure to this issue, for the next 1 over year, I carried the hatred for my dad in me. I kept entertaining thoughts of wanting to go spit on his urn for turning me into a mental wreck... I actually had to undergo months of church counselling. That's where I learnt the concept of being right vs being healed.... Here's a chapter just on this topic. Happy reading...

I'll Always Be There - Part 2

It was a Monday evening, and Terrance was inside the lift, on the way to see his mother at Gleneagles Hospital. In his heart, he was hoping his mother didn't know about the heated exchange he had with his father. He loved her dearly and it hurts him to see his mother in the condition she was in. Somehow, he had regretted the incident with his dad at the Botanical Gardens after recalling the promise he had made to his mother that same day.

"Hi mom, I'm here." Terrance said as he went over to give his mom a peck on her cheek.

"Hey baby, I'm sure you can do better than that. Come on, give your mom a hug." She reached out to Terrance and the two embraced tightly. She felt good; there was nothing else that she needed in the world than knowing she had raised Terrance up well. He is good looking, has a nice physique, and has been very independent since his early adolescence, and yes, she was proud of him, if the Goddess of Mercy chooses to bless her soul this very moment, she'll have no regrets at all. And for some inexplicable reason, she began to sob softly.

"Hey mom, shh..., don't cry mom, I'm here for you.... I'll always be here for you... Sssh....." Terrance rocked her gently. It was a good five minutes before she regained her composure. And Terrance propped her up with pillows so that she'll be in comfort while they talked.

"Christmas is coming again, mom, and I promise I'll bring you to our favorite Swensens at Crown Prince when you're discharged."

"Terrance, there's something I think I ought to let you know before it's too late. Do you remember the Esprit jacket you got last year? The truth is I didn't buy that; your dad did..." She stopped to give Terrance enough time to absorb the revelation. Then she went on, "And so were the presents you received the year before and the year before that..." And she paused again.

"Wh.., wh.., why are you telling me all these?? I mean, it's not like we were so poor that we were living from hand to mouth or somethin...??" Terrance asked, sounding a little disappointed.

"No, it has nothing to do with affordability. Your dad had wanted all these years to shower you with his love in ways which he felt he could, given his circumstances. Given a choice, I know he'd love to spend Christmas with you in person..."

Terrance was speechless.

"And he had on many occasions wanted to celebrate your birthday with you but I was the one who dissuaded him. I thought it would be better for you not to know what you've been missing rather than realize how much you've been missing out on." She started crying again.

Terrance leaned forward to hug her again. "Why are you telling me all these now, mom?"

"Because I need to set the record straight before I die. Terrance, I cannot force you to keep the promise you've made last Saturday if you don't want to, but I cannot bear to see you treating your father that way anymore. Can't you see, he has suffered enough??" And she broke down again.

"Has he, mom? I don't remember him being around when I was sick. And where was he when I was enlisted for national service? I have suffered so much taunting from my schoolmates because of him and you want me to forgive him!!? He'll not get away with this lightly!" Terrance fumed.

Jessica kept quiet for a while till Terrance's anger had quelled. "I think it's time you realize that you're no longer that neglected little boy you once were and move on with life, son. Which do you value more, Terrance, justice or healing? Where’s all these hatred gonna take you?? And so you intend to live the rest of your life carrying that burden and anger in you while the rest of the world moves on???" She cried again.

Terrance was tongue-tied this time. It has never occurred to him to see things from the point of healing the hurt. That all these hatred and anguish inside him will ultimately consume him if he doesn't learn to let go and let healing take place. Tears began to form in his eyes... Yes, he had allowed himself to be blinded by hatred all these years... It will end this very day, it must.... He leaned forward and gave his mother a hug; a warm and emotional hug. Soon, he was sobbing too. His whole body shook violently as he cried. The two decades of suppressed emotions and hatred were surging out of him like a floodgate having broke open and torrents after torrents of gut wrenching sobs came gushing out like a raging river. He had suppressed so much within himself all these while because he didn't want his mother to have any worries of him before she dies.

"Mom.., oh mom, Please forgive me, mom...." He finally managed, still hugging her tightly. "I'm trying to accept dad but it's not easy, mom, ... I'm trying... I'm just saying I'm finding it so very difficult after having suffered for so many years and that guy just appears out of nowhere into our lives and I'm expected to forgive him instantly...."

"I understand, Terrance, no one said it would be easy, but you'll have to try."

"I will, mom. I'll try my best... just give me some time...."

"I'm so glad there's finally a breakthrough.... I'm really glad... And there's one more request, Terrance, I need your understanding and support on this one"

"What is it, mom." Terrance wiped the tears off from his eyes.

"I know I'm not getting any better, and you know it too. The chemo's not helping me, it's only prolonging my agony. I would like your support in stopping the treatments... If living means the frequent vomiting and having these tubes hooked onto me for the rest of my life, then I'd rather die... And it also pains me to see you sacrificing your social life for the past eight months just for my sake..."

"Oh mom..." Terrance was choking again with emotions.

"Please Terrance, try to understand what's best for the two of us...." Jessica reasoned.

Terrance just nodded. And the two remained in tight embrace till it was dusk…

[marky]

I'll Always Be There - Part 3

It was the following evening. Terrance's father has arranged another meeting with him for another one to one talk. As he stood at the Jurong East MRT station pickup point waiting for his father, he thought about his mother's request the night before. He was in a dilemma; to stop the treatments would essentially be a form of voluntary euthanasia and she would probably undergo a period of excruciating pain before she goes. On the other hand, if treatments were continued, it would only prolong her misery and deprive her further of her dignity..... A gleaming white Mercedes 300 S suddenly pulled over and interrupted his train of thoughts; it was his dad.

"Erm..., you like Japanese food?" Jeff began the conversation.

"Anything's fine..."

"Good, I've made a reservation for the two of us at Waraku at East Coast Park, is that alright with you?"

"Sure, why not..." Terrance sounded a lot milder this time. And all was quiet again.

"So did mom tell you about her decision?" Jeff broke the silence.

"Ya..., I'm only wondering if she's doing it for me or for herself..., I mean it's ok if my life's a mess because of this..., after all, it's not like I've never tasted shit before. I just want to be sure cutting short her suffering is really what she wants, that's all."

"I think your mother wants what's best for the both of you."

"So, what would you do if you were me?" Terrance posed.

"Terrance, if you really loved her, then try your best to accomodate her requests..." He stopped there; it wasn't easy for him to say those words either. The last thing he wanted was to be misunderstood and sound as if he wanted Terrance's mother gone. The both of them spent the rest of the journey pondering the issue.

Dinner was a quiet affair. It didn't help that it was a week day night and the restaurant was barely filled. It was only when the dessert came that they resumed their conversation.

"Did I tell you about your brother?" Jeff began.

"No, not yet.."

"Well, you have a younger brother. His name is Ben and he's eighteen this year. He's grades are always the among the top in his class and he has just finished his A'levels and waiting to be enlisted in the army in March next year... and I'd like you to meet him."

"When?"

"That's what I want to discuss with you about. I've confessed to your stepmother about what happened twenty years ago and she has forgiven me. Ben is fine with it. I just need to know when you'd be ready ready to meet them"

"This weekend then..."

"Good! I'll tell Ben about it. I bet he'll be very happy to have an elder brother to take care of him! He's quite shy and quiet actually and spends most of his time at home." Jeff's face brightened up when he spoke of his family.

"Geez, why would anyone want to spend so much time at home?"

"I wouldn't know too. Perhaps he feels inferior in some ways. You see, he was born a blue baby."

"What's that?"

"He was born with a hole in his heart." (Click here)

"Is that dangerous?"

"It is alright for the time being as long as he doesn’t overstrain his heart with strenuous or stressful activities…. But he is not expected to live beyond 40years because the doctors say his heart would have been worn out by then unless he gets a heart operation or transplant ….” Jeff’s voice gradually tapered off on mentioning that.

There was a momentary silence as the two took stock of that grim reality…. Then Jeff broke the silence again.

Oh, by the way, Carol, your stepmother, said she can't wait to see you…"

"Ok then, I'll be over this Saturday evening after visiting mom."

"Great, we'll be waiting for you."

[Guest HI]

hi marky... how r u??

[starzyne]

hmm... i really missed reading the stories here...

wondering if Marky is writing anymore...

[Guest comeback]

Come back Marky, with ur true life stories...

[qedcwc]

I have never really read much of romance stories in the past.

But these that contain bromance are way intriguing.

Despite the long storyline, each episode is filled with either heart-touching or heart-wrenching moments.

For someone like me with a father who left the family due to loansharks, leaving my mum to raise me and my bro single-handedly, and also having have to battle with inner emotions, I could definitely relate with them.

Frankly, there were times tears flowed from the corner of my eyes upon reading such stories.

I really enjoyed them. Thumbs up to Mark! :clap:

But it has been exactly 10 months since the last episode was posted.

Marky, can you please continue on with the story? Please.... :-)

[Guest Xiaomilk]

Hi Marking,

Continue writing!

I really liked your stories that you have posted, and would like to hear from you soon!

[Guest mark's fan]

Hi Marking,

Continue writing!

I really liked your stories that you have posted, and would like to hear from you soon!

Wonder why he is missing...

He writes so much better than the other...

[qedcwc]

Wonder why he is missing...

He writes so much better than the other...

Only missing in action on this thread, I guess...

The last time he logged in was in August 2010.

The last part of the current ongoing story was posted back in Jan 2010.

Looking forward to the next part, please....

[TheVisitors]

Only missing in action on this thread, I guess...

The last time he logged in was in August 2010.

The last part of the current ongoing story was posted back in Jan 2010.

Looking forward to the next part, please....

Thats where you have got to understand a writer's mind, be it he a songwriter, poet or playwriter.

Some still write as they are still experiencing what they are writting

Most wrote their past experiences, sharing with others in the present moment.

If they are still writing their work, there's two points you have to consider

- The author has already move on and out of that phrase they have experienced, be it painful or happy. Their works thus serve as informative mode

or healing to those who are experiencing what they have gone through.

-The author, in his mind, still cannot let go that moment of his life. There is so much of strong attachment to that moment, thus you still feel the

very strong vibes of various emotional reminiscence as you read through his works. You can almost take in or 'smell' his emotions as you flip through

the pages .

Thus whatever and how you look at it, writers are also human, who are healing their own wounds. As they write, they unfold many clogged or penned up issues. As these are slowly released, they slowly heal their own internal emotional wounds .

I may be wrong about this regarding Marky's case. Perhaps his past no longer have an emotional hold over him, thus they no longer weigh him down because they serve no real purposes, after he may have realized their futilities or absurbilities.

As such he may have found no interest or lost that inspiration to write further.

Perhaps he has move on to be a happier person.

Someone once said, in some blog regarding Tori AMos' works. He felt that her much earlier works and writings were so much better and had so much more painful punch in every of her songs. He felt , in her present works, she has lost her magical signature touch. Maybe due to the fact that she is already married with a daughter, now living in Welsh.

He wished she had continued on writing as she did in the past

Someone retorted back that he is a selfish person who wanted the old Tori back. The person argued that the fact Tori no longer write as she used to, meant that she has already moved on out of her darkness and saddness, and had move on being happier as mother now, because her life responsibilities have evolved and have changed.

Wanting her to write as she used to, meant that he wanted her back as a sad person, which is a very selfish thought

Thus even thought her works are not longer the same anymore, or if she totally stopped writing, her true fans should be happy for her that she has moved on.

Everyone needs to evolve upwards, at some point in their life.

The best songs ,poems or novels are often (not all) when an author releases the pain he has, as he channels and expresses them through his subconsious.

If Marky does decides to return to his writing one day, we should respect his choice he has taken and what is going through his mind.

If he doesn't want to write anymore, we still have to accept and respect that as well.

Edited November 29, 2010 by TheVisitors

[Guest Particular]

Thats where you have got to understand a writer's mind, be it he a songwriter, poet or playwriter.

Some still write as they are still experiencing what they are writting

Most wrote their past experiences, sharing with others in the present moment.

I don mind if he stops writing, I just regret did not tell Marky that I enjoy his stories very very much. Way to go Marky!!!!

If they are still writing their work, there's two points you have to consider

- The author has already move on and out of that phrase they have experienced, be it painful or happy. Their works thus serve as informative mode

or healing to those who are experiencing what they have gone through.

-The author, in his mind, still cannot let go that moment of his life. There is so much of strong attachment to that moment, thus you still feel the

very strong vibes of various emotional reminiscence as you read through his works. You can almost take in or 'smell' his emotions as you flip through

the pages .

Thus whatever and how you look at it, writers are also human, who are healing their own wounds. As they write, they unfold many clogged or penned up issues. As these are slowly released, they slowly heal their own internal emotional wounds .

I may be wrong about this regarding Marky's case. Perhaps his past no longer have an emotional hold over him, thus they no longer weigh him down because they serve no real purposes, after he may have realized their futilities or absurbilities.

As such he may have found no interest or lost that inspiration to write further.

Perhaps he has move on to be a happier person.

Someone once said, in some blog regarding Tori AMos' works. He felt that her much earlier works and writings were so much better and had so much more painful punch in every of her songs. He felt , in her present works, she has lost her magical signature touch. Maybe due to the fact that she is already married with a daughter, now living in Welsh.

He wished she had continued on writing as she did in the past

Someone retorted back that he is a selfish person who wanted the old Tori back. The person argued that the fact Tori no longer write as she used to, meant that she has already moved on out of her darkness and saddness, and had move on being happier as mother now, because her life responsibilities have evolved and have changed.

Wanting her to write as she used to, meant that he wanted her back as a sad person, which is a very selfish thought

Thus even thought her works are not longer the same anymore, or if she totally stopped writing, her true fans should be happy for her that she has moved on.

Everyone needs to evolve upwards, at some point in their life.

The best songs ,poems or novels are often (not all) when an author releases the pain he has, as he channels and expresses them through his subconsious.

If Marky does decides to return to his writing one day, we should respect his choice he has taken and what is going through his mind.

If he doesn't want to write anymore, we still have to accept and respect that as well.

[Guest Particular]

I don mind if he stops writing although reluctantly, I just regret did not tell him that I enjoy his stories very much when he is active in this forum. Hope u see this compliment Marky!!!! And gud luck to u!!

[marky]

Greetings everyone,

Thank you all for taking the time and effort to write to me. Tis been a busy year at work and hence I neglected to continue the story. Now that the year is coming to an end and workload is less, I guarantee you all I will finish posting my story this time

And switch off your room lights, get yourselves a nice warm drink and get ready to be transported back to 1999......

I'll Always Be There - Part 4

It was about 5pm that Saturday evening. Terrance had just left Gleneagles and was heading for his dad's house. He has mixed feelings about this meeting; actually he has reservations with meeting the rich. To him, they are all the same: snobbish and pretentious. And he wagered with himself that Ben, his stepbrother, is probably one of those English educated young punks who despises anything Chinese and who uses wealth as a gauge for friendship. That's probably why he has so few friends as dad had mentioned, Terrance thought to himself.

He rode his bike down the winding Queen Astrid Park Road looking for the right address. On both sides of the road are spacious bungalows with equally sprawling gardens to complement. What do these people do for a living, he wondered to himself. He finally spotted the right one and rang the bell. The auto gate opened and a Filipino maid stood at the garage waiting to greet him as he pushed his bike into the garage.

"Good evening, sir, you must be Terrance. Mr and Mrs Loh are waiting for you." She greeted in heavily accented English and ushered him into the house.

Terrance surveyed the surroundings with his mouth ajar; he has never seen such luxury and opulence in his life before. The interior of the house was contemporarily done up in marble, glass and soft leather. Luscious palms graced the cavernous living room and subtle lighting from strategically placed halogen lamps made the entire place looked like the Presidential suite of a 5-star hotel. His dad and stepmother came up to him and greeted him.

"Hi Terrance, I'd like you to meet your stepmother."

"Hi mom." Terrance greeted timidly obviously awed by his surroundings.

"Nice to meet you, Terrance. We hope you'll stay for dinner too..., we will have an early one, that's if it's alright by you."

"Yeah, that would be fine." He thought, at least it beats the routine of bringing chicken rice home and watching TV on a Saturday night.

"Great then!" Jeff clapped his hands in delight. "Ben's having a shower at the moment and he should be down in a moment. I've already..."

"I'm here, daaad!!" A voice called out from a distance. Coming down the stairs and still drying his hair, was a bespectacled handsome smiling young lad, a little on the slim side but taller than Terrance by a good 6cm at 1.76m. Terrance was captivated this time by the fine human specimen in front of him; all of a sudden, he felt a pleasant twitching and fluttering in his heart.

Throughout dinner, Terrance felt his heart pounding very hard and fast. And he felt confused : just an hour earlier, he had the most negative impressions of Ben and this moment however, he just couldn't help looking at Ben. Ben's fair complexion and delicate features made him look pretty much like a Thai Chinese. He was soft-spoken, always smiling and very friendly; but it was his looks that kept Terrance stealing occasional glances in his direction. He liked the way Ben talked to his parents, put food into his mouth and the gentle mannerism Ben displayed. And he knew he was wrong about Ben being a snooty English educated young punk. That evening's dinner conversation was a healthy mixture of both English and Mandarin. Boy did he hit a jackpot...

Unknown to Terrance however was that Ben too was just as attracted to Terrance. Terrance was just the opposite of him; independent, rugged, tanned, muscular and just as handsome. It was everything he had ever wanted to be but will never attain because of his medical condition. He admired the healthy glow on Terrance's taut skin as the lighting from the dining room lamp reflected off it. Something stirred inside him too and he decided the best control strategy to adopt for the moment was to keep his eyes on the food and avoid making any eye contact.

Fortunately for the both of them, Ben's parents had suggested that the two boys should have some quality sibling bonding time to themselves after dinner, so Ben insisted that Terrance should go up to his room to listen to some music.

Up in Ben's room, the boys plonked themselves onto the bean bags that were placed in front of Ben's simple yet elegant Bose hi-fi. Terrance scrutinized Ben's massive CD collection. In the Mandarin pop section, there's Faye Wong, Emil Chow, Tanya Chua and Wang Lee Hom etc. And over in the English pop, there's Joey McIntyre, The Corrs, 98 Degrees, Human Nature, N'Sync, The Spice Girls and the Cranberries. There were also lots of soundtracks from films like Jaws and Star Wars, and musicals like The Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables.

"Here, have a drink." Ben handed Terrance a packet of beverage.

"What the heck is this, chocolate oats milk!!?" Terrance was amused as he read the label.

"Hey! That's good for you; it's suppose to lower your LDL cholesterol level."

"Ai yoo...., we are not even in our twenties yet. What's there to worry about, man?"

"Well, you never can tell... Do you listen to any of these?" Ben changed to subject and pointed to his collection.

"Errr..., frankly, none of these latest albums. I haven't been buying CDs in ages since my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mom has a large collection of CDs back from her days as a lounge singer..." Terrance munched his words, apparently embarrassed by that admission.

"Ah, then you must like the oldies then! I'll bring something over from my parent's room." Ben offered and darted off quickly out of the door before returning within a minute with a dusty CD.

Terrance laid back and looked around the room as Ben put the CD on to play. The soothing melody from the keyboard soon filled the air before the sweet voice of some unknown lady started came on...

I always thought I would be strong

If I made it thru the pain

Well I’ve been in and out of love

And it all hurts just the same

Love can really change your life

There’s something magic in my world tonight

I feel so free, it’s like a fantasy

Having you next to me

Suddenly it’s magic

One look, one touch

Words just won’t say enough

When you fall in love

Suddenly, suddenly its magic…. (Suddenly It’s Magic – Soundtrack from Soul Man)

This boy sure has it lucky: he has a queen size bed all to himself with nice feathered pillows and quilt to accompany. To the left was a large study table and cabinet filled with Ben's college textbooks and music manuscripts. And just beside the bed, in a corner of the room stood a silver-plated flute.

"You play that thing?" Terrance pointed to the musical instrument.

"Yup, I was in the Hwa Chong band. Even took the grade 5 ABRSM exams too. What about you, do you play any musical instruments?" Ben asked.

"Well, I took up the guitar on my own..., no formal training but I guess I'm reasonably good at it.... Say, what's with those medical books over there? I don't suppose they teach you medicine in college do they?"

"Nah, I'm waiting to do medicine in Sydney, Australia. Those books are for me to pass my time these next three months while awaiting my March NS enlistment... Hey, so much about me, what about you? What do you do?"

"I'm er..., just a training instructor with the School of Armor in the SAF...." Terrance replied, a little self-conscious by now.

"Hey, that's great! You can share more about that with me in future, yeah? I don't think I'll ever make it into any combat unit...." Ben suddenly drifted off. "Dad did tell you about my medical condition, didn't he?"

"About your hole in the heart problem? Yeah, he did… don’t worry too much…”

“The actual term is Atrial Septal Defect… erm… just in case you want to know… I can’t exercise or exert too much or the oxygenated blood would leak out from that hole and my heart would have to work extra hard to ensure the rest of my body gets the blood…. You know, people around our age are at the prime of their lives and I’m… I guess I’ll remain a sickly looking person throughout my life….” Ben suddenly began to feel moody.

“Hey, look on the sunny side! Who knows, maybe there’ll be a cure for it in the near future! Maybe some kind soul would donate his heart to you one day! Well, at least you don’t have to go through all that shit your friends are probably going through right now in the army. You would probably end up as a clerk or perhaps a medic at CMPB asking the enlistees to hand you their urine samples! Hahaha...." Terrance chuckled.

"Yucks! You are gross!! And wipe that smirk off your face!!" Ben replied with mock indignity.

"Well, alright, that was just a joke, ya? I just wanna cheer you up." Terrance offered, still a little amused by his own suggestion.

"So, what do you think?" Ben digressed.

"Erm, what? The dinner? Your house? Yeah, it's all very impressive." Terrance conceded.

"No, my... I meant our parents. They do treat you well, don't they?" Ben smiled again.

"Yeah, I guess so..."

"So you'd come again to visit me?"

"Why don't you come over to my flat instead? But I must warn you, it's nothing like what you have here."

"Of course I don't mind it! Sigh, the trouble with most people I know is that they think I'm some conceited young punk and a mommy's boy!"

"So they keep their distance from you before you have a chance to prove them wrong?"

"Exactly! But the other reason is that... erm.., oh never mind." Ben stopped all of a sudden and started to frown.

"Ya, go on." Terrance encouraged

"Nah..., never mind. Nobody will understand this."

"I can try... come on."

"Nah..., we've hardly known each other for more than two hours..."

"But you do feel comfortable with me, don't you? We're like pals!" Terrance asked eagerly.

Ben frowned again and hesitated for another moment. "Nah, I can't even talk to mom and dad about it..." Ben cast his eyes down on the carpet as he muttered to himself.

Terrance got up, and took a scrap of paper from the study table and started scribbling. "Here take this; I've written down my e-mail, home address and hand phone number. I stay in Marsiling and you're welcomed there anytime. If we're gonna be pals, we'll gonna have to start trusting each other for help, ya?" Terrance put his hands on Ben's shoulders to reassure him. "Remember, I'll always be there for you."

"Sigh..., thanks Terrance, thanks..." Ben looked up at his newfound friend with gleeful eyes.

And they spent the rest of the evening listening to more of Ben’s music. It was evident that both the boys have found a friend in each other.

[qedcwc]

Marky, you're back!

Thanks for the posting! :thumb:

[marky]

Yes, qedcwc. Thanks for your encouragements... For you, I will post another chapter...

I'll Always Be There - Part 5

It was a rainy Monday afternoon; the beginning of a new week... and Ben is already bored. He tossed aside his medical books; it made little sense for him to get down to these books at the moment when he had only completed his A'level exams 2 week ago. He looked out of the windows and stared at the downpour, and his thoughts drifted towards Terrance again...

Damned! It was just 2 nights ago in this same room where the boys were having their first conversations, and yet it seemed like ages already. He wondered what Terrance was doing this very moment; was he out in the fields, caught in the downpour and getting all drenched? Or was he conducting a lesson in the training sheds? How Ben wished he could meet Terrance again. There was this funny and indescribable feeling deep inside his heart; some emotions he has never experience before: neither wonderful nor frustrating, just some form of restlessness...

Next, he wondered if Terrance has a girlfriend. All of a sudden, he felt this awful sour feeling deep in his heart. He couldn't make out what it was either. The last time he encountered a similar feeling was when his college buddy found himself a girlfriend thus leaving him all by himself. Secretly, he wished Terrance wasn't attached at the moment. Then his eyes caught sight of the scrap of paper where Terrance had left his contact number. He agonized for over a good 15 minutes as to whether to give him a call on his mobile. Ben didn't want to give the impression that he was such an eager beaver but the prospects of spending the rest of the afternoon staring at the moody sky wasn't all that appealing either. He finally mustered enough courage to dial the number.

"Ya, Terrance here!" The call was answered within the 2nd ring.

"Errrrm, hi Terrance, it's me, B...Ben." He stammered.

"Hey, bro, how are you, man?"

"Erm, all right I guess. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Oh no, not at all. Training has been canceled because of the thunderstorm, so we're just lying around passing time. What's up buddy?"

"Ooooh nothing really, just feeling very bored..., and I've got 3 months more to kill. Most of my friends have already been enlisted. So here I am..." Ben frowned again.

"Well, I've nothing planned for this evening, we can go down to town if you like."

"Really!!? That'll be great!" Ben brightened up.

So Ben spent the rest of the afternoon getting ready for that big meeting. Although it was only 3pm then, Ben felt it was never too early to get prepared. The arrangement was simple: Terrance would swing by at 6pm and they'll head for town in Ben's car. In the midst of looking into his gargantuan wardrobe in search of something to wear, Faye Wong's music was humming softly in the background. And Ben himself, deeply engrossed with how he was going to present himself later...

"Mom, I won't be having dinner tonight. I'm going out with Terrance!" Ben told his mother later on that afternoon.

"Why, that's great! I'm glad the two of you are getting along just fine. You know how much this means to your dad, don't you?"

"Yeah! Dad will be proud of us, I'm sure!" Ben was ecstatic at this point. "By the way, don't wait up for me; I may be back late."

"Urm..., well.., all right, it's your vacation now anyway." Carol frowned; Ben has never been home late before. She wondered if he could look after himself...

The gate bell rang promptly at 6pm and Ben rushed out to greet Terrance. The bike was put aside and Ben's Ford Mondeo was reversed out of the driveway. In no time, the boys were on their way down to town.

"So, where are we heading to?" Inquired a beaming Ben.

"I was thinking of the Mac's at East Coast Park. It's not so crowded and we could errrm, go for a walk in the vicinity after that if you like. Errr, you do take fast food, don't you?" Terrance hesitated.

"Oh yeah! Sure, why not!" Ben lied, he never was into junk food. But it didn't matter as long as he gets to spend time with Terrance.

It was a nice leisurely drive to the east coast and Ben put Faye Wong on air to lighten the atmosphere. Unlike the Saturday before, he was feeling a little jittery at that moment. Terrance noticed too but didn't want to hazard a guess. It was a good half-hour before they arrive at MacDonald's. Terrance offered to buy the food while Ben got the seats. Soon, they were munching their way through a pile of big Macs and Filet-O-Fish.

"You ok? You seem a little quiet today." Terrance finally asked.

"Oh, it's nothing that anybody can help me with. Let's talk about happier things, shall we?"

"Well, you can evade the issue but it'll always be there. Come on bro, you strike me as one who's full of self-confidence. So what's up?"

"Shall we talk about it after we're through with dinner then?"

"Well, ok..." Terrance was a little disappointed. He has always enjoyed helping others, and it'll be a great delight if Ben, whom he liked so much, needed him. So dinner became a quiet affair with neither talking much.

The boys took a stroll along the footpath behind the restaurant after dinner. There were quite a number of kids around doing roller-blading since it was afterall the school holidays. Finally, they spotted a deserted wave breaker, sat down at the farthest end and looked at the brightly lit ships in the horizon.

"So, how can I be of help?" Terrance broke the silence.

"I believe no one can help me..." Ben frowned.

"You could at least talk about it, it'll definitely make you feel better. We're pals, remember?"

Ben fidgeted uncomfortably as he stared blankly at his shoes in front of him. Then silence again.

"Oh come on, you can do better than that." Terrance coaxed.

Ben sighed heavily, "I..., I ttthink I'mm... oh never mind, let's just forget it, ok?"

Terrance put both his hands on both of Ben's shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, "It has to do with your sexuality, isn't it, Ben?"

For one fleeting moment, Ben's eyes were wide opened and he tried hard to swallow down the lump in his throat as he wondered in astonishment how Terrance could ever know what he was troubled by.

"Terr.., how did you know..."

"Sssh, it's just my intuition, that's all. Besides, nothing else could be as difficult to confide as revealing your inclinations, I guess. And if it's of any help to you at all, you may like to know that I'm gay too."

"You!!?? I can't believe it, Terrance!" Ben said with bewilderment. Then, all of a sudden, tears began to stream down his eyes, and he buried his heads in his arms and knees and cried softly.

"Hey, sshh, it's ok, Ben, it's ok, don't cry...." Terrance comforted.

"No, it's NOT ok for me! I don't know why I'm born with a hole in my heart, I don't know why I'm gay and nobody knows how much I've suffered in silence all these years..." Ben's body shook uncontrollably as he cried, choking with emotions.

"Ssshh..., it's not the end of the world, Ben, sshhh... I'm here for you...., ssshhh..." Terrance put his arms tightly around Ben and cooed softly into his ears.

It was a good ten minutes before Ben regained his composure; thereafter, the two continued to stare at the ships in the distance...

"I know ma and pa are disappointed that I'm physically less than perfect so I try to make it up to them by being everything they wanted me to be: a filial and obedient son. It'll really break their heart if they come to know I'm also gay..."

"It's nobody's fault, Ben, you were not responsible for it either. Don't be so hard on yourself, buddy."

Ben ignored the remark; his eyes were focused on waves crashing against the breaker and seemed to be in a world of his own....

"I close my eyes at night and try my very best to dream of girls but guys always appear instead. You know, I dare say that I've been a good Christian all these years, so I really don't know why I'm what I am. I pray day and night asking God to zap me and make me a normal person but nothing happened. I even told God that even if I had offended Him in anyway and He refuse to grant my request to be a normal person, He should at least grant it on mom and dad's account; they did nothing to deserve this...."

Terrance frowned, he knew nothing would get through to Ben at the moment; what Ben really needs is to let all his repressed feelings out, once and for all....

Ben continued, "You know, when I go to church, they preached that homosexuality is wrong and an abomination of nature, so I've never got involved with anyone before. My only outlet is erm..., ermmm, you know, just to do the hand thing... Next, the church also says that masturbation is wrong too! Sigh, it seems that I'm wrong either ways... sigh... There were times when I wondered what acceptable forms of tension relief God has for teenagers like myself...."

"Gee, I don't know either, Ben, I'm a Buddhist. I have pleaded with The Goddess of Mercy before too on a number of occasions concerning my sexuality but I guess mercy just wasn't one of her virtues on those days... But I do know we'll get nowhere in life if we keep questioning ourselves that way, agree? Look at me, I'm still as happy as can be! Come on, we both have a bright future ahead of us!! Don't be so hard on yourself, you're a good guy!" Terrance said encouragingly.

"You're wrong, Terrance, I'm not a good guy at all." Ben protested.

"What do you mean?" Terrance was puzzled by that remark.

"You know that Saturday evening while you're over at my place? Well, I... ermm, I was actually looking at you..., and please don't ask what I meant by that." Ben tried not to be too direct.

Just then, Terrance felt his heart skipped a beat. This lad seated next to him, the one he so admired in many ways, has mutual feelings for him too! He was elated but was also confused. He knows there's a time for everything, and wasn't sure whether he should share his true feelings with Ben now especially when he is feeling so distraught and vulnerable. Finally however, he let his heart lead the way, "Ben, you may like to know I was looking at you throughout the night too. I was mesmerized by your looks, I just wasn't sure if it was ok for me to share that fact with you.... I'm also terrible, right?"

"No, I'm worse than you. I am! It's like you have your arms around me now to comfort me, but I'm actually enjoying it very much an.. and I hope so much that you will never remove them. That's the extent of how I feel..., and... and I've actually been longing to see you all week... sigh..." Ben frowned again and turned his face away from Terrance; he was embarrassed by his own admissions.

Terrance's heart was pounding very hard by now. While his left arm was still placed around Ben's slender frame, his right hand reached out and held onto Ben's hands. Then softly, he whispered into Ben's ears again, "Don't fret about all these things, Ben, I'll always be there for you..."

The fresh scent of Johnsons Baby Bath was still evident on Ben as Terrance sniffed his delicate and supple nape. He liked the subtle fragrance: the scent symbolic of youth and innocence. Then, at the spur of the moment, he planted two light kisses behind Ben's ears. Instinctively, Ben reciprocated by putting his arms tightly around Terrance's waist, never wanting to let go... Soon, the both of them were sprawled on the breaker; bodies embracing tightly together in a passionate kiss. The waves lapped up gently against the sides of breaker as the tide rose, and the tender scene played on under the light of the silvery moon.....

可能是久違的甜蜜　可能是潮水的來去

把眼淚流成一陣雨　能不能夠流到你心裡?

一定是潮水的魔力　讓海岸也無能為力

就當是生命中的奇蹟 改變了天涯海角的距離

可能大雨來得太早（我還不知道）

可是情話說得正好（我還在尋找）

再怎麼樣尋找

來時路已經找不到

可能緣份來得太早（我還不知道）

可是情話說得正好（我還在尋找）

當我以為再等不到　你卻突然　停靠在我懷抱… (愛的正好- Kit Chan & Alex Su)

[casper]

Good to see you back Marky and hope you will continues to write great stories...

[qedcwc]

Awww... that's so sweet, Marky. Thanks.

But your last part of the story really made my manhood swell lor.... :oops:

Edited December 13, 2010 by qedcwc

[xiaomosquito]

HEY MARKY!!!

thanks for the continuation of your writing though you are quite busy!

like your stories really much! hahs

[Guest Timothy]

I'm probably flattering myself by saying this but I can feel a lot of Ben's pain because when I read the story, I seem to find a lot of him in me.

I'm slim-built, rather fair-complexioned, and according to people, good-looking :oops: , studious, good son to my parents, generally well-mannered :oops:

But I always find myself attracted to guys like Terence: tanned, rugged, muscular, tough-looking, sporty, outdoorsy. A lot of girls tell me that they like me and even aunties seem to think I would make a good son-in-law to their daughters.

But it's very, very painful because nobody knows that I am attracted to guys, and I can't tell it to anyone.

[marky]

Hi to all. Thanks once again for your encouragements. I had wanted to post a chapter each on Moday and Tuesday so as not to break the momentum but again due to work committments, I can only access the computer today.

Parts of the story are real and the characters exist. Ben yes..., he was really smart; amongst the top of his cohort that year. It was his ambition to become a doctor.. though he did not do it via the traditional NUS way. The last I remembered, he was working as a researcher at the Institute of Cellular and Micro Biology. And he looks exactly like... Timothy has described himself here

Ok, bear in mind again that the setting of this story is in 1999. The some of the places may no longer exist. Gosh, I sound so old huh? Kekeke....

Before I post the next chapter, I would like to share some brief history about when I last posted this story. It was a 1999 version of Blowing Wind BB. The webmaster had mentioned that I promoted incest and made gays look bad by giving the impression that gays lust for sex so easily, even if it is between brothers... Well, that is not the focus of my story. I wanted to tell a story about love..., about reconcillations... about forgiveness... about personal sacrifices....

Ok, everything is subjective, rite? Get your glass of Baileys ready, dim the lights in your room. Happy reading....

I'll Always Be There - Part 6

Come Saturday morning

I'm going away with my friend;

We'll Saturday spend till the end of the day....

Just I and my friend.

We'll travel for miles in our Saturday smiles,

And then we'll move on.

But we will remember long after Saturday's gone..... (Come Saturday Morning)

The gate bell rang exactly at 1.30pm. Ben instantly brightened up as he looked out of his room eagerly, hoping to catch a glimpse of Terrance. Yes, he was not disappointed; there Terrance was, smartly dressed and standing beside his Yamaha bike. They had been keeping in touch over the phone for the entire week even though they did not meet up. Ben has decided to spend the entire week going through his textbooks after feeling a little guilty over Monday night's incident at East Coast Park. Still, he secretly wished something would transpire that afternoon. This is the day where he will finally get to meet Terrance again and he has been looking forward to it with much anticipation. Immediately, he bade his mother good-bye and rushed out of the house.

"Hey, what's with the rush?" Terrance asked on seeing Ben dashing out to the gates.

"Ssshhh!! I don't think mom approves of me riding pillon. Quick, let's get out of here!!" Ben urged nervously, and hoping his mother did not catch sight of him.

"So, do you want to do lunch first or visit my house?" Terrance asked as they rode off.

"Let's go over to your place first! I'm dying to see how you live by yourself!"

"You'll be disappointed, I promise! It's nothing glamorous, and you'd probably see my whole collection of underwears hanging over your head!" Terrance chuckled.

"Erm, so where am I supposed to hang on to?" It was Ben's first ride on a motorbike.

"Well, you may want to grab hold of my waist cos that's the safest." :whistle:

Ben liked that suggestion too. He wrapped both his arms around Terrance's taut waist and it felt good. There was hardly an inch of fat on that athletic muscle machine he had so admired. Secretly, he wished the journey would be a long one.

It was a nice half-hour drive to Blk 25 in Marsiling Drive where Terrance stayed. The living room had been tidied up the night before in anticipation of Ben's visit. Ben looked around the flat as Terrance went off into the kitchen to get him a drink.

"Hey, this place isn't as untidy as you've described it!" Ben assured Terrance after his self-tour.

"Of course lah, I was just pulling your leg. Just didn't want you to get your expectations up too high." Came the reply from the kitchen.

Ben went over to the hi-fi and started browsing through Terrance's CD collection... Lots of old albums of Leon Lai, Daniel Chan, A-Mei and yes, there were Faye Wong's albums too, both old and new!

"Hey, I thought you said you only listen to oldies? But I do see you have quite a bit of Mandarin pops too!" Ben was delighted.

"I said I haven't been buying new ones, that's all. You were so eager that evening that you just rushed out of the room to get the CDs from your parent's room before I could stop you." Terrance said sarcastically.

"Oh I see," Ben was a little embarrassed that Terrance had noticed his little actions that evening. "Erm, I see you're a fan of Faye Wong too!!" :thumb:

"Yeah, I like her style of singing."

"Me too! I like her carefree bo chap style like when she sings 当时的月亮 . You have that album, don't you?"

"Sure, it's somewhere among the top few CDs on the CD rack, just help yourself to it.... And I don't have any of your cholesterol reducing chocolate oats drink in my fridge, will winter melon juice do?"

"Sure, anything's fine." Ben located the CD and loaded it into the mini-compo and soon their idol was singing for them.

"Hey, come over and take a look at this." Terrance beckoned Ben to go over to his bedroom window. "You see that town over there? That's JB."

"So that's where it is. I've always wanted to go there. Heard a lot from my friends about the cheap VCDs and CD ROMs, and wanted to get some for myself but Pa just wouldn't allow me to go. He says the place's not safe at all."

"Well, that's if you go in dad's Merc and well ya, many Singaporeans have been robbed there before. But I guess the robbers probably target the middle age group; that's where they think the monies are. They'll probably leave young people like us alone. I've actually been there quite a number of times and nothing has happened so far."

"What do you go there for?"

"Well, for a start, the food's cheap and I buy my groceries there too. And yeah, there's the VCDs and erm....., well er..., oh never mind..." Terrance stopped there. :whistle:

"Erm what!? Come on, tell me!" Ben demanded.

"It's really nothing..." Terrance teased.

"Yeah right! Are you gonna tell me or not, huh!? Quick, out with it!!" Ben started to tickle Terrance's sides causing him to wriggle with laughter.

"Ok! All right!! Quit that!! Come on, stop!!" Terrance managed between his laughter. It took about another minute or so before he could catch his breath and sober up. All that teasing has got him aroused and his manhood ached badly in the tight confines of his jeans. He rested his hands on both of Ben's shoulders, looked him intensely in the eyes and said, "There's this gay sauna called Ryu that I used to frequent before we met." He paused to gauge Ben's reaction.

Ben's eyes widened with curiosity, "You mean there are such places just across the Causeway!?"

"You bet! And the action's quite hot too!"

"Yeah, go on!" Ben was impatient by now.

"Erm, there's a sauna and a steam room there, and the guys just walk around with a towel wrapped around themselves..."

"What kind of guys do you get there?"

"Oh, all sorts. You get the fair share of the chubs, the twinks like yourself, the nondescript type and of course the rare handsome and muscular ones like yours truly!" Terrance boasted. :whistle:

"Yeah, right! Tell me about your experiences there!" Ben commanded.

"Well, anything goes, really. I was really shy on my first visit, so I just let some guy service my little brother! Thereafter, I helped others jack off. Then I progressed to kissing and erm.., my turn to suck somebody else's tool... And there were times when the action got so hot, I'll find myself shooting my load three or four times a night!!" Terrance grinned with pride.

There was a momentary silence as Ben started fantasizing about himself being in Terrance's position. A tent started forming in his cargo pants, and Terrance immediately caught sight of the erection. He smiled to himself and was determined to tease Ben further.

"Oh boy!! You're getting me all horny! Say, do you think we could both go there some day?" Ben's eyes widened again. :oops:

"Errr, well..., I don't think that would be an appropriate thing for me to do. What if dad finds out about me bringing you into JB?"

"He won't if neither one of us tells him."

"You never can be sure of such things....." And there was an impish grin on Terrance.

"Oh come on Terrance! He won't! Pleasssse??" Ben begged.

"Well, we'll see how. But in the meantime, it sure looks like somebody's joystick is badly in need of servicing...." Terrance grinned as he gently reached over and massaged Ben's crotch.

Ben's package grew larger in response to the caress. He reciprocated by removing Terrance's polo-tees to reveal a beautiful satin bronze torso. It was a sight to behold and Ben lost no time in allowing his hands to explore every part of this muscle god. Terrance's other hand wandered under Ben's T-shirt and started kneading his nipples.

Ben blushed a crimson red. He has never been touched that way before, and admittedly it felt very good and sensual. Never in his life could he imagine that someday, his fantasy of a handsome man, a tanned and muscular hero, lusting and desiring after his body would come true. A small stream of crystal clear pre-cum oozed out of his manhood as Terrance stripped him off his pants and underwear.

Hungrily, Terrance engulfed the virgin-pink manhood as the two fell onto his bed in a heated passion. Ben closed his eyes and allowed himself to be completely taken over by his lover in any manner that pleased him. Terrance did take the que and worked diligently on fountain of youth hoping to coax out its essence. With each downward plunging motion of Terrance's warm mouth into Ben's love pole, an erotic and tingling sensation was sent, up through his spine and to the very tips of his toes...

"Terrance, stop, I can feel it coming...." Ben whispered softly after a short while.

Terrance paid no heed to the request and continued enthusiastically on with his task.

"Oh Terrance..., aaahhh..., it's really coming! I c... cannot control it anymore...." Ben moaned and pleaded.

Within seconds, Ben gave a short yelp and curled his body forward momentarily before collapsing back onto the mattress. Terrance felt a squirt of warm cum shooting into his mouth. Yes, he has been duly rewarded for his task. A precious load of the semi-sweet love nectar has been delivered straight into his mouth and he savored every single drop with delight. For once in Ben's life, his seed has not seen the light of day but went straight into the warm confines of the person he loved so much. He felt loved and cherished. Slowly, he felt his strength ebbing from him as he gasped heavily for air. And as the spasm subsided, he closed his eyes and rested from the sensual ordeal...

Terrance continued his milking till the virgin pole yielded no more youth essence and went limp. He removed his mouth to expose the delicate pinkish young meat that belonged to Ben. Yes, Ben! Never in his life too did Terrance imagine he'll one day make love to someone whom he really cared for, desired after and truly loved; someone who has never given himself away before, and someone whom he had so admired from a distance. Quietly he crawled forward and whispered into Ben's ears, "I love you very much, Ben."

"Aaahhh..., I don't know why I came so fast...." Ben muttered. :oops:

"It's probably because it's your first time doing it with anyone and you're just too excited. Don't worry, you'll improve as you go along." Terrance assured.

"I love you too...." Ben mumbled softly, unable to manage anything else. He was fast falling into a happy and blissful sleep; for this day, he had visited paradise....

******

It was dusk when Ben awoke from his sleep to the soft beautiful sounds of guitar music. He opened his eyes lazily and saw the amber rays of the setting sun flooding Terrance's little bedroom, temporary lending it a magical and regal ambience; it was a Kodak moment. Terrance was seated on a stool nearby, looking out of the windows and quietly strumming away at his guitar... he was in a contemplative mood.

Quietly, Ben got up and gave Terrance a gentle hug from behind...

"Ssshhhh.... Ben, can you see the two pigeons perched on top of that window sill?" Terrance directed Ben's attention to where the birds were roosting.

"Hey yeah..., oh look, they are necking each other. What a lovely sight!" Ben whispered in excitement.

"Yeah, that's right. And they're admiring the sunset too!" Terrance smiled.

"Just like what we are doing now..." Ben sighed contentedly. All throughout his life, he has never taken a moment to notice the little wonders of Mother Nature.

"Hey Terrance, why don't you play me a song on your guitar?" Ben requested.

"Well, all right. I want to dedicate this next piece to you."

Terrance plucked the guitar strings to a lovely introduction before his mellow voice blended in... (Right Click Here)

思念是一种很玄的东西 如影随行

无声又无息出没在心底 转眼吞没我在寂寞里

我无力抗拒 特别是夜里 哦想你到无法呼吸

恨不能立即 朝你狂奔 去大声的告诉你

我愿意为你

我愿意为你

我愿意为你忘记我性命

就算多一妙停留再你怀里

实去世界也不可惜

我愿意为你

我愿意为你

我愿意为你被仿作甜气

只要你真心那爱与我自己

我什么都原意

什么都原意为你... (我愿意 - - Faye Wong)

It was a poignant piece of music and tears filled Ben's eyes when the song came to a quiet end.

"Oh Terrance, that was the loveliest piece of music I've ever heard! Ben sobbed as he held on tightly to Terrance. It was as if he feared Terrance may just vanish into the air if he had let go.

"Yeah, I know. I've always wanted to play that for you. Ssshhhh, come on, Ben, don't cry..." Terrance comforted as he gently held Ben's face up and wiped the tears from his eyes with his thumbs.

"I just want you to know I love you very much and I'm the happiest person in this world right now. There's nothing else that I'll ever need besides you! Oh, how I wish we could be like those two pigeons perched out there with not a care in this world." Ben continued.

"We can, Ben, we can. Our lives are what we make of it." Terrance said philosophically.

"Terrance, tell me you're mine forever, please? Let's be the best of friends forever!!" Ben begged.

"Yes Ben, I'm yours forever, and I'll always be there when you need me....." Terrance assured.

And the two sat there, gently embracing each other and admiring the scenery till the sun disappeared beyond the horizon....