Randomlondonguy Posted October 25, 2023 Report Share Posted October 25, 2023 (edited) . Edited October 20, 2024 by Randomlondonguy Not relevant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sky894 Posted October 25, 2023 Report Share Posted October 25, 2023 Then just keep to what you have currently...why bother to keep getting better if you r fcukable to ur BF/Fcukbud? Focuson the quality of the interactions then just your bdy alone bah...we will all grow old n die, wth or wthout muscles/ lean bod....pple rarely remember how u look or wht u say years after the interaction, but I think they wld certainly remember how u made them feel. Be it muscled twink, slim twink or any encounters that I have, I dun remember going wth a pair of calipers to check leanness/bdy fat %... Hv fun building ur bdy of desire, but dun let it be a miserable experience...it should just be a means to get to your real goal in life and not the actual goal itself...bcos when old age sets in, utterly miserable to watch all your efforts disappear slowly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojohomme Posted October 26, 2023 Report Share Posted October 26, 2023 i am obese, i am trying to lose weight for health reason only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pansapiens Posted November 1, 2023 Report Share Posted November 1, 2023 I think it's kind of inevitable for anybody who concentrates on their fitness. You'll never be big enough, cut enough, lean enough, wide enough, hot enough, the list goes on - and it can be worse for us gay people, since there's a heavy emphasis in the community on looking good enough to get the people you want to get. A habit of comparison is easy to build. It's not easy to deal with, either. Randomlondonguy and Thatguy642 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thatguy642 Posted November 6, 2023 Report Share Posted November 6, 2023 I absolutely agree with everything you’ve said, and go through all of that as well. It’s bad enough that I’ve been turned off during sexual encounters because I felt like my body wasn’t good enough, and I still can’t decide whether I’m too skinny (arms and chest leave a lot to be desired) or too fat when my abs aren’t as defined. Overall I’m still a pretty decently happy person, but my self image bothers me quite a bit. Even though I’ve already accepted that I will never be perfect, I still always want to be better, it’s tough! pansapiens 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ticklemesm Posted December 18, 2023 Report Share Posted December 18, 2023 Well everyone has a goal they are looking for in a partner. Just like some may prefer muscular, some skinny, chub etc. If you feel you lack some parts, then just work on it. Although mostly prefer fit guys, i guess just moderately fit with strong confidence is more appealing than a person with less confidence. If you think you can't get who you want and you know why, then just work on it. Just dont lose hope ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shad0wCat Posted December 21, 2023 Report Share Posted December 21, 2023 (edited) I am not diagnosed with it medically but this is a topic that I can heavily relate to. As a stocky guy (170 cm, 98kg) that works out 4/5 times per week, I was always seen as 'forever bulking' or 'chubby’' but never 'muscular' or 'strong looking'. It also doesn't help that I'm a food lover and snacks frequently with my hunger pangs constantly bugging me. Hearing family members/peers consistently uttering those labels can have a negative impact on your daily thoughts. It’ll manifest when; you notice that your face is puffy/round (cannot see the jawline) when looking into the mirror to adjust your hair, when you go shopping and over analyze every clothing to make sure that your muffin top/love handles are not seen and it flatters your body shape instead of making you appear fatter to others, when you notice someone with visible/prominent veins at their arms and wondering when you’ll get lean enough to attain that and the list, the self-criticism goes on. Scrolling through IG will further demoralize you as the FYP will feature all the fitness models and influencers just being in the happiest/ best of mood as they reveal their chiseled, toned and lean bodies. You’ll secretly have this thought that ‘maybe half of my problems will be gone once you’ve attained that level of physique/aesthetic’ Lastly, navigating through the gay community will also prove to be a challenge as our image is one of a critical factor to attract the attention of others, especially in the 'small yellow' app. Sometimes, I do wonder what’s the ratio of body dysmorphia when comparing straight guys to gay guys? Just hoping to break this vicious cycle of constantly degrading myself and my self-esteem. I believe in loving and appreciating yourself and your body more (and remember that there is more to us as human beings, than our looks). Also, getting some moral support for others will definitely help in the long run but all these are easier said than done. Edited December 26, 2023 by Shad0wCat pansapiens 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyo74 Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 On 12/21/2023 at 10:39 PM, Shad0wCat said: I am not diagnosed with it medically but this is a topic that I can heavily relate to. As a stocky guy (170 cm, 98kg) that works out 4/5 times per week, I was always seen as 'forever bulking' or 'chubby’' but never 'muscular' or 'strong looking'. It also doesn't help that I'm a food lover and snacks frequently with my hunger pangs constantly bugging me. Hearing family members/peers consistently uttering those labels can have a negative impact on your daily thoughts. It’ll manifest when; you notice that your face is puffy/round (cannot see the jawline) when looking into the mirror to adjust your hair, when you go shopping and over analyze every clothing to make sure that your muffin top/love handles are not seen and it flatters your body shape instead of making you appear fatter to others, when you notice someone with visible/prominent veins at their arms and wondering when you’ll get lean enough to attain that and the list, the self-criticism goes on. Scrolling through IG will further demoralize you as the FYP will feature all the fitness models and influencers just being in the happiest/ best of mood as they reveal their chiseled, toned and lean bodies. You’ll secretly have this thought that ‘maybe half of my problems will be gone once you’ve attained that level of physique/aesthetic’ Lastly, navigating through the gay community will also prove to be a challenge as our image is one of a critical factor to attract the attention of others, especially in the 'small yellow' app. Sometimes, I do wonder what’s the ratio of body dysmorphia when comparing straight guys to gay guys? Just hoping to break this vicious cycle of constantly degrading myself and my self-esteem. I believe in loving and appreciating yourself and your body more (and remember that there is more to us as human beings, than our looks). Also, getting some moral support for others will definitely help in the long run but all these are easier said than done. Work out for me had never able to slim me down. I have join dragon boating before and my work out had intensified almost 10 times but my weight never drops. I quit dragon boating after several years when i feel its too time consuming, too exhausting and no results in my body shape. After i change my diet, my weight drops very fast. When people always say our body shape is due to 80% diet and 20% work out i definitely agrees to this statement. One advise for me on your food. Try to eat much more nutritional food like fruits and vegetables and eat lesser on carbs food. If you need to eat carbs food go for complex carbs food only. You say "You’ll secretly have this thought that ‘maybe half of my problems will be gone once you’ve attained that level of physique/aesthetic". Actually i agrees with this statement. After i manage to slim down and whenever i look into my mirror a natural smile will come into my face when i see the results of my improvement. All those anguish and disappointment no longer present any more. More people start to find and talk to me and rejections are much lesser. Actually there are many moral support in this forum and many other gay chat groups that have admins and moderators that will remove any fat shaming words from anyone. There are also a lot of anti fat shaming champions constantly posting moral support as well. But one thing you need to note of, do those anti fat shaming champions even want to touch or have fun with you? You want to have more moral support yet gets rejected or you want to actively change your diet and lifestyle to attract others to get what you want? Think of your answer and choose your path wisely. The truth is always a pain in the neck. Thatguy642 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxiousfriedtofu Posted January 25, 2024 Report Share Posted January 25, 2024 Yup, I was skinny fat before. Now I've cut twice and bulk twice, before sitting at the weight I started 3 years ago. I went from someone who hated looking at myself in the mirror, to someone who keeps checking the mirror almost every hour now. That means taking the longer route to see my own reflections, and also to research the best lighting and angles to highlight my physique. I am not really obssessed with keeping my leanness as my strength suffers and I feel that my limbs look too thin. Besides I have the weirdest 1 pack, basically just two vertical lines. 😅 I would say last time I was avoiding how I look, now I am more accepting and make the best of my genetics. If anything, I have more insecurities of my body now that I am trying to understand. All this despite compliments of my body from guys, heck, even from the boss of the gym I go to. Nightshade 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiusulnar Posted January 25, 2024 Report Share Posted January 25, 2024 i've come to accept that even when you've tried your best you'll never be what you wish for. acceptance is zen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balestier Posted January 25, 2024 Report Share Posted January 25, 2024 I have seen many fit hunks when they are in 20s to 30s. But their tummies starts when in their 40s 50s. Fitness is a journey. Do things you enjoy. Don't compare. Btw you need lots of discipline to have the 6-8 pecs. Low BF brings another set of issues to Ur mental and physical. Be happy. Life is short. More friends are dying young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiusulnar Posted January 25, 2024 Report Share Posted January 25, 2024 If only they kept up their routines. Would be amazing to have 6 pack in 50s 60s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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