Who do you think has more pressure to appear sexy and likable(bottom or tops)

[Guest appearances]

As the topic says, do bottoms feel more pressure to be sexy and likable or is it the tops? 

Would love to hear opinions on it.

[Guest Huh]

This is literally the most dumb as fuck question ever posted on this forum, and that is saying something 

[ctrl]

yea it's dumb, but i think there is some basis to it. You feel pressure when you want something... or you are seeking something better... don't really think positions (btm vs top) really matter

 

It's different if you are

 

old seeking young, there will be pressure 

unfit seeking fit, there will be pressure 

Average looking seeking good looking, there will be pressure 

 

 

[Steve5380]

29 minutes ago, ctrl said:

It's different if you are

 

old seeking young, there will be pressure 

unfit seeking fit, there will be pressure 

Average looking seeking good looking, there will be pressure 

 

 

 

Your post makes sense.  And we can say that such pressures, within limits, are positive.  Therefore, the desire to be more sexy and likable is not pure vanity and selfishness and sex urges,  but can be the motivator for a healthier and ultimately happier life.  After many years and advancing seniority, this pressure shifts from the urges of sex to the desire to remain healthy and functional, and the wish for longevity.

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Both. Best if you get those who don't have or choose not to have  anxiety or overthinking or drama or emo guys....both also have taste or liking or preferences...

 

Don't come with attitude 😂 come with horny hard n hungry mood! 

[auscent]

I think both has equal pressure. U'd want to have a reasonable attractiveness and personality to ur buddy. Some guys have good physical but negative attitude making it a major turn off.

[joshTWjosh]

Case of perceived demand and supply. If you perceive/value:

 

Younger > older

Good-looking > average looking

Top > bottom

Gym fit > average body

 

Then by law of scarcity, an older, average looking, average bodied bottom will feel pressure to keep up with market forces of trade

[Guest Dumbfxxk]

On 10/25/2023 at 8:48 PM, Guest Huh said:

This is literally the most dumb as fuck question ever posted on this forum, and that is saying something 

 

hahaha.. I can see what you mean, but I love the question

[Guest Wikipedia]

On 10/25/2023 at 7:59 PM, Guest appearances said:

As the topic says, do bottoms feel more pressure to be sexy and likable or is it the tops? 

Would love to hear opinions on it.

 

The tops feel the pressure to be 'bad' and 'hard'.

The btms feel the pressure to be hot and desirable.

 

[And then]

23 hours ago, joshTWjosh said:

Case of perceived demand and supply. If you perceive/value:

 

Younger > older

Good-looking > average looking

Top > bottom

Gym fit > average body

 

Then by law of scarcity, an older, average looking, average bodied bottom will feel pressure to keep up with market forces of trade

 

oops, that's me

[funky beaver]

For me, I would put it this way. Try to think more about ourselves than the other person.

 

Yes, appearing sexy and likeable is important for me, but I do it for myself, not to please others. 

 

There is really nothing wrong if I choose to have a more healthier diet and have a more active lifestyle. In fact, it is better for my general health. Having a presentable body is the side effect that comes along with this lifestyle. And most importantly, I do it to please myself. Not the other person.

[fenghou]

it's all supply and demand

 

I think there are many more bottoms in SG than tops.

So this means the bottoms need to put in more effort.

 

Just my opinion. 

[passinthenight]

9 hours ago, fenghou said:

it's all supply and demand

 

I think there are many more bottoms in SG than tops.

So this means the bottoms need to put in more effort.

 

Just my opinion. 

 

 Your opinion is spot on.  Seems like an imbalance out there in gayland. I see profiles online "no demanding bottoms" and  no bottoms this and no bottoms that.

[singalion]

10 hours ago, fenghou said:

it's all supply and demand

 

I think there are many more bottoms in SG than tops.

So this means the bottoms need to put in more effort.

 

Just my opinion. 

 

But if you're talking about SGP, don't you think bottoms here are also much more ("over")demanding on the looks of tops vice versa than in other regions of South East Asia? 

 

 

[Guest guest]

If you are counting the Asian guys at Man About Town events, I think the bottoms have more pressure to appear sexy and likeable.

[Steve5380]

On 10/25/2023 at 8:41 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

Your post makes sense.  And we can say that such pressures, within limits, are positive.  Therefore, the desire to be more sexy and likable is not pure vanity and selfishness and sex urges,  but can be the motivator for a healthier and ultimately happier life.  After many years and advancing seniority, this pressure shifts from the urges of sex to the desire to remain healthy and functional, and the wish for longevity.

 

I tend to agree with Steve,  but I want to modify this somewhat, due to a little more seniority wisdom, ha ha.

 

PRESSURE is not always desirable.  It is better to do an introspective analysis  find the areas of improvement,  research the means and ways to attain the improvements,  and THEN make a good practical plan of how to achieve them.  

 

The result should not be a surprise.  The ways to become sexy and likeable are simple:  healthy lifestyle ( nutrition and exercise and sleep ) plus good character by enhancing empathy and sympathy by ingesting the right bacteria.

[Cfunsg2]

13 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I tend to agree with Steve,  but I want to modify this somewhat, due to a little more seniority wisdom, ha ha.

 

PRESSURE is not always desirable.  It is better to do an introspective analysis  find the areas of improvement,  research the means and ways to attain the improvements,  and THEN make a good practical plan of how to achieve them.  

 

The result should not be a surprise.  The ways to become sexy and likeable are simple:  healthy lifestyle ( nutrition and exercise and sleep ) plus good character by enhancing empathy and sympathy by ingesting the right bacteria.

Is Steve suffering from multiple personality disorder? Think you forgot to log out this time.

[horhorfun]

Mostly bottom as tops will mostly choose a good looking bottom

[mate69]

12 hours ago, horhorfun said:

Mostly bottom as tops will mostly choose a good looking bottom

 

Definitely bottoms, for sure

[ERFAbangBear]

On 10/25/2023 at 8:48 PM, Guest Huh said:

This is literally the most dumb as fuck question ever posted on this forum, and that is saying something 

This got me cackling.

[Copper2b]

2 hours ago, ERFAbangBear said:

This got me cackling.

Abang, you look nice.

[ERFAbangBear]

8 hours ago, Copper2b said:

Abang, you look nice.

Thank you 😛

[Guest 犯贱冰冰]

On 4/10/2024 at 5:39 PM, Cfunsg2 said:

Is Steve suffering from multiple personality disorder? Think you forgot to log out this time.

 

LOL 😆 

[Glyph]

imagine the woes of being versatile. sighpie.

[mate69]

someone told me before:

bottoms need to appear cute

tops need to appear hot and sexy

 

Sigh

[Guest Crazy Eyes]

It all depends on the eyes of the beholder.  My friend think that tyre belly elderly bottom is sexy.   Another think that sissy Top is sexy.  You can't make this up.

[Guest guest]

Usually bottoms because tops appraise the whole body while bottoms just go for the cock. Anything additional on the top like nice body, handsome face etc are just bonuses.

[Guest Guest]

2 hours ago, Guest guest said:

Usually bottoms because tops appraise the whole body while bottoms just go for the cock. Anything additional on the top like nice body, handsome face etc are just bonuses.

 

i keep hearing this saying that bottoms only care about the cock but it's definitely not true in my circle or the people i met.

the hot bottoms are choosy, can afford to choose and only go for the hot and sexy tops.

the average tops in terms of looks and bodies even with nice cock dun seem to be very desirable?

[Guest Bottom]

Bottom has to be desirable. Chest. Legs. Holes. Face. Hairless or hairy. Masc or fem. Noisy or dead fish. 

 

Top just need a hard cock. And can pound and cum.

[mate69]

24 minutes ago, Guest Bottom said:

Bottom has to be desirable. Chest. Legs. Holes. Face. Hairless or hairy. Masc or fem. Noisy or dead fish. 

 

Top just need a hard cock. And can pound and cum.

 

Yes

[GachiMuchi]

On 10/25/2023 at 7:59 PM, Guest appearances said:

As the topic says, do bottoms feel more pressure to be sexy and likable or is it the tops? 

Would love to hear opinions on it.

Please lah. Why does bottom needs to make themselves to be sexy before they can score?

And what do you mean by sexy? Do you mean they have to behave like a women and wear lingeries or g string?

To me, I don't want my bottom to be sexy, just normal and if my bottom is manly and meaty, I would enjoy even more.

I like men, and I want my bottom to be manly and submissive to my needs and knows how to suck and be a bottom in bed.

I don't like those overly effeminate bottom or purposely act like a woman. If they does so, I will kick him out of my house.

Anyway, just my preference of bottoms not in any way trying to demean any effeminate guys.

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Both. 

 

Stop being so picky choosy controlling...

 

Both make efforts to entice each other..make it more fun! 

 

All of us have flaws don't assume u r such the perfecto having the right to control everything haha look at the mirror especially your skin n make sure u smell nice even when u sweaty...your face always glow...look at your body chest cock ass definitely there is room to improve haha so pls be fair. 

[doncoin]

Appearing sexy should be something you do for yourself to make you feel good about yourself, and not for the approval or validation of others. If you feel the "pressure" that you are doing it to seek external validation, that can be detrimental to your sense of self. Being sexy is beyond how you appear, it is also about self-confidence. When you are confident about yourself, what others think, or the "pressure" they try to impose on you is irrelevant. You know who you are, and that is super sexy. 

[singalion]

On 7/15/2024 at 4:25 PM, Guest Guest said:

 

i keep hearing this saying that bottoms only care about the cock but it's definitely not true in my circle or the people i met.

the hot bottoms are choosy, can afford to choose and only go for the hot and sexy tops.

the average tops in terms of looks and bodies even with nice cock dun seem to be very desirable?

 

Guess, you didn't hear about size queens. haha

 

The hot bottoms might be choosy but to the point that once they start getting desperate.

 

Go on the apps on a Sunday evening and you find plenty of those hot bottoms who didn't get anything but then start getting desperate for any dick n harry.

 

 

[Guest BB fun]

Can't blame the picky ones... Example, I don't spend so much time and effort going to the gym, building myself up, taking care of myself just so I can pull in a 3 or 4.... Especially if after all that I managed to get myself up to a 7 or 8. Shallow I know, but this is the hookup culture mate.... Can't expect charity...

[Guest BB fun]

BUT... Before everyone tries to burn me at the stake...

 

When it comes to relationship it can be slightly different when characters, personalities comes into play.

We men are still pretty visual.

 

If you are talking about purely the hookups, then I stand by my former comments to attract same of the ones that you like... One man's poison.

[singalion]

2 hours ago, Guest BB fun said:

Can't blame the picky ones... Example, I don't spend so much time and effort going to the gym, building myself up, taking care of myself just so I can pull in a 3 or 4.... Especially if after all that I managed to get myself up to a 7 or 8. Shallow I know, but this is the hookup culture mate.... Can't expect charity...

 

Somehow we all are a bit picky, but it surely depends on situations. We all have expectations towards the sex partner.

 

But some people can be overly picky...

I actually wonder if they ever have any sex at all.

 

I make a difference meeting someone at home to meeting someone at a sauna. Meaning I am probably pickier at  a home meet up...

What is the purpose of running around the sauna, walking the corridors to search for the dream boy and get home after hours without any action...

I am sure there is always a somehow reasonable match at such a place.

 

In my opinion, both top or bottom should do an effort to look attractive, but it doesn't mean gym bod toned super boy or even overdo the looks.

Everyone can try not to get too much out of shape or dated...

Yes, there are guys who naturally are just hot and cute, but there are also guys who (in my opinion) overdo in body forming at gyms to the point that is looks artificial.

 

Once again, everyone as he pleases...

 

 

 

[G_M]

12 hours ago, Guest GPT said:

ChatGPTwat so free to post so much crap all over this forum. 

As much as I don't like it that @singalion having his feet in many topics in the forum, at least he is not Flaming others and does share and contribute to the discussion.

 

As for you, why don't you mind your own business and stop wasting space by flaming others in the forum? 

Do you think you doing good by flaming people in the forum? No. You are interrupting the discussion. 

You can't change another person by flaming. You had been doing that for years. You not sian ah?

 

You seriously needs to get a life, you don't need to revolve your life around people like @singalion or @Steve5380.

If you don't like what they post, just skip their post.

 

Time for you to move on.

 

 

[Steve5380]

On 7/31/2024 at 4:02 AM, Guest BB fun said:

Can't blame the picky ones... Example, I don't spend so much time and effort going to the gym, building myself up, taking care of myself just so I can pull in a 3 or 4.... Especially if after all that I managed to get myself up to a 7 or 8. Shallow I know, but this is the hookup culture mate.... Can't expect charity...

 

I definitely agree with you.  Although Nature gives out inborn beauty in a random way,  there is much we can do for our looks. And there is nothing immoral in the result. What happens in a gay sauna should be the result of MUTUAL attraction, or at least consent.  Consent when we have enough empathy to offer some pleasure to others.

 

And we should feel blessed when we have what it takes to improve our looks:  awareness of what it takes, discipline, perseverance.  And often improved looks also means improved health.  Nothing "shallow" in all this. 

 

On 7/31/2024 at 4:29 AM, Guest BB fun said:

BUT... Before everyone tries to burn me at the stake...

 

When it comes to relationship it can be slightly different when characters, personalities comes into play.

We men are still pretty visual.

 

If you are talking about purely the hookups, then I stand by my former comments to attract same of the ones that you like... One man's poison.

 

Burned at the stake?  You should be listened to in what you write.  Relationships should have a more important component than sex, which is love.  If it happens that love is much stronger than sex, then...  then it helps when the relationship becomes more open.  (  now I may be burned at the stake... )

[Steve5380]

On 7/31/2024 at 6:33 AM, singalion said:

 

In my opinion, both top or bottom should do an effort to look attractive, but it doesn't mean gym bod toned super boy or even overdo the looks.

Everyone can try not to get too much out of shape or dated...

Yes, there are guys who naturally are just hot and cute, but there are also guys who (in my opinion) overdo in body forming at gyms to the point that is looks artificial.

 

 

The principle of cause and effect.  You want better sex?  Work for it.

 

Not to get too dated?  LOL, I know about this.  This should include not to become MENTALLY dated.  To preserve a jovial thinking, a "child in us", ha ha.

[Guest guest]

My ex bf (TOP) always wanted me to wear women's sexy lacy panty whenever having sex with him. I m confused as he wasn't into transgender and not sure why he love it. Does wearing 1 make him feel I m sexy?

[Strange Fruit]

While what one deems to be ‘sexy’ and “likeable’ can often vary quite a bit and be very subjective, I think the moment one feels ‘pressure’ it often causes one to overcompensate for the perceived lack and to often humorous (and sometimes pitiful) effect. I’ve seen many a gay guy who, upon feeling the ‘pressure’ to make others like him, become overtly attention-seeking by being exaggeratedly chatty or animated; I remember when I was young and going dancing in clubs a lot, whenever I spied a guy I fancied just a few feet away, my dancing would get more provocative and I’d writhe about likeI was in a Pussycat Dolls video, hoping desperately said guy would turn in my direction and say to me how hot my impromptu burlesque act was making him and could we go back to his place right that minute for more horizontal dancing. The sad truth is, since I often favoured the really butch (and more reserved) ones, all that gyrating was probably putting him right off, and  the chances that my choreography was anything close to Tony-Award-winning were very slim indeed - as with most of the performing arts, people who frequently show off their dancing in public often have a far fancier image of how well their performance is being received. 
 

The other thing about gays talking about the overwhelming ‘pressure’ of being fit alway makes me laugh - because I often hear it the most from people who don’t behave like they’re pressured at all by body image issues. I personally feel pressure to keep fit - and that pressure makes me go to the gym, or put down that tub of ice cream at the supermarket, or not have liquid calories at a restaurant. Knowing there is some way to go before I am satisfied with the way I look makes me consciously do those things, and certainly I don’t feel enough pressure because I don’t do any of those things as strictly as I should. I don’t discuss the pressures I feel much because what’s the point?
 

Meanwhile I have friends who insist on going out to gay events strapped into elastic harnesses (I have no idea how those became so popular because, in my opinion, unless you’re a hunk with under 10% body fat it is going to cut into your fleshy bits in the most unflattering way possible) and then when they go home alone at the end of the night they will say how body-fascist the gay scene is and the pressure they feel to be muscular or manly is overwhelming.  Well, quite often they ignored the average Joe who did pay them attention, in favour of pandering to the guys who were not interested in them.

[doncoin]

On 9/13/2024 at 11:10 AM, Guest guest said:

My ex bf (TOP) always wanted me to wear women's sexy lacy panty whenever having sex with him. I m confused as he wasn't into transgender and not sure why he love it. Does wearing 1 make him feel I m sexy?

 

You should ask him directly instead for the answer. I think it is ok to do it occasionally if it creates a level of intimacy and passionate sex, but if you are not comfortable with it, let him know and address it, and maybe seek a middle ground- i.e a lacy jockstrap. 

[notd]

Bottoms hands down.