Disturbing Behaviour in Sauna : Some people are overly forthcoming and do not understand 'a NO is a NO'

[Guest Tomato]

Having returned from Sydney (saunas) and did a comparison locally, i am surprised at the sauna 'culture' in Singapore.

In Singapore's sauna, some people are overly forthcoming and do not understand 'a NO is a NO', and continue to pursue, touch, grab, molest, etc, despite subtly hinting to openly saying no.  

Probably like how Spore's society works, there is little respect people has for others (in many ways), and this is evident also in the saunas.  Some chaps locally are so disrespectful in their sauna behaviour, especially in dark areas.  It is one thing to express your interest in the other party, but many a times, some chaps are downright persistent and do not take no as an answer.  Even sauna behaviours are so much better in KL and BKK.

 

[SuckMaster]

1 hour ago, Guest Tomato said:

Having returned from Sydney (saunas) and did a comparison locally, i am surprised at the sauna 'culture' in Singapore.

In Singapore's sauna, some people are overly forthcoming and do not understand 'a NO is a NO', and continue to pursue, touch, grab, molest, etc, despite subtly hinting to openly saying no.  

Probably like how Spore's society works, there is little respect people has for others (in many ways), and this is evident also in the saunas.  Some chaps locally are so disrespectful in their sauna behaviour, especially in dark areas.  It is one thing to express your interest in the other party, but many a times, some chaps are downright persistent and do not take no as an answer.  Even sauna behaviours are so much better in KL and BKK.

 

Unfortunately, I have to agree.

[Guest Peterpan]

13 hours ago, Guest Tomato said:

Having returned from Sydney (saunas) and did a comparison locally, i am surprised at the sauna 'culture' in Singapore.

In Singapore's sauna, some people are overly forthcoming and do not understand 'a NO is a NO', and continue to pursue, touch, grab, molest, etc, despite subtly hinting to openly saying no.  

Probably like how Spore's society works, there is little respect people has for others (in many ways), and this is evident also in the saunas.  Some chaps locally are so disrespectful in their sauna behaviour, especially in dark areas.  It is one thing to express your interest in the other party, but many a times, some chaps are downright persistent and do not take no as an answer.  Even sauna behaviours are so much better in KL and BKK.

 

 

Exactly. KB is spoilt by the infamous few old uncles who go around forcefully grabbing dicks despite being pushed away and verbally telling them to cease. I even tried bending their fingers to stop the grab but of no use. I have been victim of such dispicable actions and it marred my mood due to the pain inflicted. Blardy fkers these old farts.

[cutejack]

13 hours ago, Guest Tomato said:

Having returned from Sydney (saunas) and did a comparison locally, i am surprised at the sauna 'culture' in Singapore.

In Singapore's sauna, some people are overly forthcoming and do not understand 'a NO is a NO', and continue to pursue, touch, grab, molest, etc, despite subtly hinting to openly saying no.  

Probably like how Spore's society works, there is little respect people has for others (in many ways), and this is evident also in the saunas.  Some chaps locally are so disrespectful in their sauna behaviour, especially in dark areas.  It is one thing to express your interest in the other party, but many a times, some chaps are downright persistent and do not take no as an answer.  Even sauna behaviours are so much better in KL and BKK.

 

Sad truth..Island ppl attitude. Not all but mostly.

[Guest Tomato]

3 hours ago, Guest Peterpan said:

 

Exactly. KB is spoilt by the infamous few old uncles who go around forcefully grabbing dicks despite being pushed away and verbally telling them to cease. I even tried bending their fingers to stop the grab but of no use. I have been victim of such dispicable actions and it marred my mood due to the pain inflicted. Blardy fkers these old farts.

 

The angmo seniors (in Sydney) are so much more respectful, and do not persist in any physical way when cruising.  Some asked if you are keen to have fun, and if declined, they are cool and not persistent.

 

It makes me feel that there is century gap of difference in cultural finesse between the seniors in Singapore and elsewhere.

@Singaporeans - Do remember, having money (being rich), or simply you are Sporean by nationality, does not mean that you automatically deserve respect.  It is how you carry yourself and treat others well in order to be reciprocated.

I sincerely wish the local sauna etiquette would improve to match the 1st world image we think we deserve.

[cutejack]

5 hours ago, Guest Tomato said:

 

The angmo seniors (in Sydney) are so much more respectful, and do not persist in any physical way when cruising.  Some asked if you are keen to have fun, and if declined, they are cool and not persistent.

 

It makes me feel that there is century gap of difference in cultural finesse between the seniors in Singapore and elsewhere.

@Singaporeans - Do remember, having money (being rich), or simply you are Sporean by nationality, does not mean that you automatically deserve respect.  It is how you carry yourself and treat others well in order to be reciprocated.

I sincerely wish the local sauna etiquette would improve to match the 1st world image we think we deserve.

Well said, love u. ❤️ 

Let me explain,The problem here is many especially elderly so call bcome"rich"  after selling their one n only HDB flats which don't happen in other countries in the world.

Not rich by royal blood. So the answer is there.

Anyway, its either u have to go back to Sydney or endure the "sauna attitudes " here. Take care.

Edited November 26, 2023 by cutejack

[Malabird]

My two cents: these annoying older gays were the baby boomers generation.
Many of whom didn’t get to reach secondary school level (it’s a statistical facts not discrimination). They struggled with low income jobs and many missed the chance of getting a partners (male partners were not fashionable in their time). 
 

their attitudes and social behaviours have been like that since young. So the issue is not their age but their unpleasant approach shaped by their many setbacks in life experiences. Of course that don’t justify their behaviours. 

 

i would imagine and remain hopeful that those who are in their 30s now when they get old, they will behave differently from the current group of old & desperate baby-boomers uncles  (maybe relatively more cordial but could still be desperate!). 
 

desperation is a natural behaviour due to starvation. 

Edited November 27, 2023 by Malabird

[singalion]

On 11/26/2023 at 1:26 PM, Guest Tomato said:

 

The angmo seniors (in Sydney) are so much more respectful, and do not persist in any physical way when cruising.  Some asked if you are keen to have fun, and if declined, they are cool and not persistent.

 

It makes me feel that there is century gap of difference in cultural finesse between the seniors in Singapore and elsewhere.

@Singaporeans - Do remember, having money (being rich), or simply you are Sporean by nationality, does not mean that you automatically deserve respect.  It is how you carry yourself and treat others well in order to be reciprocated.

I sincerely wish the local sauna etiquette would improve to match the 1st world image we think we deserve.

 

The question remains if the younger guys are actually better?

 

Let's be honest there is this kiasu behavioural type in Singapore. As long as it thrives or being "taught" by parents, it will go on for more generations. You can take a look what happens on the street by young drivers...

 

Maybe not fair just to point to KB on that behaviour, others aren't better.

 

Well, I agree on what is said on overseas saunas in the first post. I assume those seniors overseas try to avoid the backlash. Also, maybe they realise that they don't win anything by being persistent and not understanding a "no".

 

Personally to counter I think guys should just speak out more loudly. You need to shame these guys in public otherwise they will never realise that they are in the wrong. Keeping silent and sort of silent tolerating won't change anything.

That would also lead to a learning experience for younger guys who start with a similar culture to take up lessons...

 

 

[FunLoving]

On 11/25/2023 at 8:23 PM, Guest Tomato said:

Having returned from Sydney (saunas) and did a comparison locally, i am surprised at the sauna 'culture' in Singapore.

In Singapore's sauna, some people are overly forthcoming and do not understand 'a NO is a NO', and continue to pursue, touch, grab, molest, etc, despite subtly hinting to openly saying no.  

Probably like how Spore's society works, there is little respect people has for others (in many ways), and this is evident also in the saunas.  Some chaps locally are so disrespectful in their sauna behaviour, especially in dark areas.  It is one thing to express your interest in the other party, but many a times, some chaps are downright persistent and do not take no as an answer.  Even sauna behaviours are so much better in KL and BKK.

 

 

I couldn't agree more 😥😥😥

[FunLoving]

On 11/26/2023 at 1:26 PM, Guest Tomato said:

 

The angmo seniors (in Sydney) are so much more respectful, and do not persist in any physical way when cruising.  Some asked if you are keen to have fun, and if declined, they are cool and not persistent.

 

It makes me feel that there is century gap of difference in cultural finesse between the seniors in Singapore and elsewhere.

@Singaporeans - Do remember, having money (being rich), or simply you are Sporean by nationality, does not mean that you automatically deserve respect.  It is how you carry yourself and treat others well in order to be reciprocated.

I sincerely wish the local sauna etiquette would improve to match the 1st world image we think we deserve.

 

Yes, totally agree with you.. Not only in Sydney.. Even here in Keybox, I've seen senior Caucasian men who are more respectful towards others & not so persistent.

[auscent]

But I also wonder: is it because Sg culture has less positive views of those slower, less agile..more senior people? Hence that perception?

Also: lesser avenues for all to express their sexuality. When feelings are bottled up and found a way to express eg: sauna, people tend to discard normal behaviour?

[And then]

3 hours ago, auscent said:

But I also wonder: is it because Sg culture has less positive views of those slower, less agile..more senior people? Hence that perception?

Also: lesser avenues for all to express their sexuality. When feelings are bottled up and found a way to express eg: sauna, people tend to discard normal behaviour?

 

One thing I have noted in Sydney gay sauna many times, is that some hot young Asian guys will go into the room with these ancient folks.

I am not talking about daddy issues, but more like a half century age gap.

Of course I am happy for these grandpas that they get to eat fresh meat, but I think this is much less likely to happen to SG's grandpas.

Maybe therefore need to be more desperate???

[Guest Drilla]

IN SG, rudeness not limited to grandpas. The younger ones also very rude. 

 

Just look at the irritated impatient replies in various threads.

 

Don't like to read just go away qiietly

 

 

[cutejack]

1 hour ago, And then said:

 

One thing I have noted in Sydney gay sauna many times, is that some hot young Asian guys will go into the room with these ancient folks.

I am not talking about daddy issues, but more like a half century age gap.

Of course I am happy for these grandpas that they get to eat fresh meat, but I think this is much less likely to happen to SG's grandpas.

Maybe therefore need to be more desperate???

U mean these Asian youngsters don't mind angmo grandpas but not local grandpas? 

[And then]

46 minutes ago, cutejack said:

U mean these Asian youngsters don't mind angmo grandpas but not local grandpas? 

some Asian guys seem to go for these ang mo grandpas.  Breaks my heart, ha ha ha...

[superflawless]

I can totally understand the frustration and anger of the OP. 

We shouldn't have to tell or push people away. No one invited these guys but there they are, fiddling and touching where they aren't welcome. Making out in public doesn't mean it's a free for all.

It doesn't mean you can touch.

There might not be enough rooms so folks just have to make do with making out in the dark room. The is the reality.

 

Speaking of Thailand.  

Years ago when I was in Bangkok at the Babylon sauna. At one of the floors were all these rooms.

I was standing along the corridor.

I could hear a room being rowdy. A large crowd was gathering outside a lighted room.

From what I could glimpse, two caucasian men were fucking but they didn't close the door.

They liked to be watched but not touch.

The bottom had to keep saying don't touch.

Now, I wasn't anywhere near the entrance, preferring to mind my own business.

Suddenly, I heard a loud bang, and the crowd dispersed.

From what I could gather, the bottom was so angry at being touched, he kicked one guy so hard, he stumbled backwards against the ajar door and while the guy was still smiling, it was so awkward. Must have been painful.

The top ( could not see but only hear), asked bottom why he did that.

Bottom said " I already told him don't touch". They continued fucking, but crowd had dispersed. 

 

Please, don't touch unless you are invited too.

Giving a free show is not the same as being invited. 

[singalion]

8 hours ago, auscent said:

But I also wonder: is it because Sg culture has less positive views of those slower, less agile..more senior people? Hence that perception?

Also: lesser avenues for all to express their sexuality. When feelings are bottled up and found a way to express eg: sauna, people tend to discard normal behaviour?

 

Hm, but it happens in a sauna. That is the avenue. What is there to express sexuality in a gay sauna?

Outside, yes probably less avenues, but really? If you look at the Personals section here, then there seem to be plenty of avenues.

 

Views on more senior people, why would that count in the sauna. We are not talking of rude youngsters who insult senior, but seniors who behave rude.

 

I think it just boils down to general lack of manners.

[singalion]

2 hours ago, And then said:

some Asian guys seem to go for these ang mo grandpas.  Breaks my heart, ha ha ha...

 

Let just everyone get happy the way they want.

 

You might not be into bondage or other "kinky" things...

 

 

[singalion]

5 hours ago, And then said:

 

One thing I have noted in Sydney gay sauna many times, is that some hot young Asian guys will go into the room with these ancient folks.

I am not talking about daddy issues, but more like a half century age gap.

Of course I am happy for these grandpas that they get to eat fresh meat, but I think this is much less likely to happen to SG's grandpas.

Maybe therefore need to be more desperate???

 

Is there any general rule to it?

 

Let's assume a 30's hot Ang Moh is walking around the sauna here, I m sure plenty of guys will follow behind him like baby ducks following mum duck, seeking attention and getting onto him or below him.

 

For other Asian countries, you see many profiles on apps looking for more mature sex partners, local ones. From my guess, probably besides the sex they might also expect other benefits later on...

 

It might have a connection to this more East Asian drive to have fun with virgins (I mean very young guys). That cultural background might turn older guys less attractive.

 

 

[Balestier]

The issue here is being rude regardless young or old, chub or musc. So just respect unless U don't mind to be slapped or kicked

[Steve5380]

I have a long history of experiences in gay saunas. and I honestly have not found much difference between the Singapore saunas and those elsewhere.  And I made this whole history after being 50 years old and beyond.  Perhaps I was spared conflicts by being an Ang Moh older uncle,  or by not being nasty, or by not being found disgusting.  In any case, one can understand the frustration of being constantly rejected.  Some don't accept that this is the nature of getting older, with their loss of attractiveness, if not compensated with some effort.  This is why I like to point out the convenience, since early youth, to plan ahead and cultivate the habits that lead to good health and good looks.

 

It is not in our nature to lose all attractiveness and even become repulsive as we age.  The body itself can remain attractive and functional into middle age and beyond. And... guess what... everyone can benefit from the facial improvements from plastic surgery, like botox, eyelid surgery, face lifts, fat injections, etc.  This should not be "shameful" but smart... at the right age and with right moderation.  I hope you young gays understand this, since now is the time to plan for the future. 

.

Edited November 30, 2023 by Steve5380

[doncoin]

The mentality of the older generation is I pay the same amount as you to enter the sauna, therefore you and I are the same. 

 

 

 

[Guest Josh Shen]

Sometimes i won't clean my back... Let the persistent one to poke and to dig the 'treasure' out... 

[Guest Guest]

On 11/26/2023 at 9:29 AM, Guest Peterpan said:

 

Exactly. KB is spoilt by the infamous few old uncles who go around forcefully grabbing dicks despite being pushed away and verbally telling them to cease. I even tried bending their fingers to stop the grab but of no use. I have been victim of such dispicable actions and it marred my mood due to the pain inflicted. Blardy fkers these old farts.

Thanks to these old farts you have a chance to be used and enjoy some sex.  Bet you do repeat visits.

[Guest Guest]

On 11/30/2023 at 11:33 AM, And then said:

 

One thing I have noted in Sydney gay sauna many times, is that some hot young Asian guys will go into the room with these ancient folks.

I am not talking about daddy issues, but more like a half century age gap.

Of course I am happy for these grandpas that they get to eat fresh meat, but I think this is much less likely to happen to SG's grandpas.

Maybe therefore need to be more desperate???

So it is the youngsters at fault, going after white stale and wrinkled meat,like the sarong party girls😬

[Admiral_R]

On 11/30/2023 at 12:45 PM, Guest Drilla said:

IN SG, rudeness not limited to grandpas. The younger ones also very rude. 

 

Just look at the irritated impatient replies in various threads.

 

Don't like to read just go away qiietly

 

 

I find this as well. Like the OP, comparing saunas here to Australia and some other places I’ve been to there is a higher level of entitlement in Singapore, and I’d also say a lack of communication or mutual respect. 
 

I recall even in a case where I did go to a room with a guy (in his 30s) he was immediately super rough and physical, which I’m not really into but he still kept pushing this when I made it clear I wasn’t down for that.