Jump to content
Male HQ

Finding partner using non-online method


funky beaver

Recommended Posts

I am really curious about this, that is, how many found their partner using non-online method. Which means, no apps, no websites, no IRC, no forums, no social media, (you get the idea). 

 

Those that found their partner via schools, workplaces, societies, traditional match making, speed datings, care to share your experience?

 

For the others, you can also share your thoughts if this non-online thing will work or not.

 

(Perhaps me myself watched too much BL, wondering if this can happen in real life)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I found the partner of my life, one of the most wonderful persons I ever knew,  in a sleazy gay bar in Houston.  So... it was NOT in a church!

 

There may be some advice about where one should find and not find a decent partner.   Forget it!  The place we find our partner is the same place WE are at the time.  😄

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did share in 1-2 threads before before the involve of the technology (apps) I make use of apps even this forum to organize coffee sessions with donuts I bought for those who come...at first 1-3 sessions only few cames till I have about 20-30plus people at one time when it is so overwhelmed n they came from all walks of life from uni to JC to ite to working world to nsf. As a organizer you have to lead regardless of how many came...and even organize leisure sports games & clubbing too...this is one way to bond friendship etc...

 

I might wanna try to organize a hangout session at sg river next Friday. Free & easy. Come n mingle but not to judge. Everyone of us have flaws...come with open mind n heart. Don't judge too quickly. Sometimes some just need an listening ear or their rants it does. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, MasterFitMalaySG4U said:

As a organizer you have to lead regardless of how many came...and even organize leisure sports games & clubbing too...this is one way to bond friendship etc...

 

It is lucky to meet this kind of person in the LGBT circle. I also recently met a person who likes to organize activities for their circle of friends. It is the right thing for use to support one another

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Strangely, I met most of my bfs in public transport (don't laugh). Another in a public swimming pool here. It mostly boiled down on getting into someone's sight and developing an interest into each other. 

 

Social circles (gay sport groups, leisure activities) surely help to get to know other guys in non sexual settings. 

 

In those public space and bumping into someone settings it is very important to exchange numbers. Don't be shy to ask!

 

 

Edited by singalion
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Swimming pool for me. Prefer meeting guys face-to-face.

Although gay bars and Pink Dot may be too intense of an atmosphere so I prefer to stay away from those.

 

Anyway, I had a bad experience once when a guy used a fake photo before meeting me, and did not acknowledge it at all during the meet-up. Not a great first impression. I left after our meal and never contacted him again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, singalion said:

Strangely, I met most of my bfs in public transport (don't laugh). Another in a public swimming pool here. It mostly boiled down on getting into someone's sight and developing an interest into each other. 

 

Social circles (gay sport groups, leisure activities) surely help to get to know other guys in non sexual settings. 

 

In those public space and bumping into someone settings it is very important to exchange numbers. Don't be shy to ask!

 

 

Really need to be very thick skin to ask for number. I think Asian people are generally shy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I met my boyfriend in the most unexpected place: a famous cruising park at night. Our eyes met, and sparks flew. I'm not the type to chase romantic stories. Love just happens for me, whether it's in a sauna, a park, or by the pool, without any expectation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, funky beaver said:

Really need to be very thick skin to ask for number. I think Asian people are generally shy.

 

Why thick skinned? 

If someone is interested in you vice versa, then you intend to get to know the other. In public transport settings you won't always have time. The other might rush to work or to an event etc. exchanging numbers is the best way to get to know the other. 

 

I think this "Asians are shy" is a myth nowadays and outdated. Yes, there might be terribly shy guys but it has nothing to do with ethnic background. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Guest Runner said:

I met my boyfriend in the most unexpected place: a famous cruising park at night. Our eyes met, and sparks flew. I'm not the type to chase romantic stories. Love just happens for me, whether it's in a sauna, a park, or by the pool, without any expectation.

How do u know he is str8 or gay? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, funky beaver said:

Really need to be very thick skin to ask for number. I think Asian people are generally shy.

 

Well said! 

 

8 hours ago, singalion said:

 

Why thick skinned? 

If someone is interested in you vice versa, then you intend to get to know the other. In public transport settings you won't always have time. The other might rush to work or to an event etc. exchanging numbers is the best way to get to know the other. 

 

I think this "Asians are shy" is a myth nowadays and outdated. Yes, there might be terribly shy guys but it has nothing to do with ethnic background. 

 

 

That's why any of your words cannot be taken seriously. Your suggestions here can really cause so much personal damage to those who listen to you. Don't you know that Singapore is still in general a conservative place? How would you know "If someone is interested in you"? Your gaydar is 100% correct? Seriously, what if you are wrong? What if that person starts going around telling people that the creepy you is going around trying to hook up men? Of course you won't care, would you? This is not your country, and at worse you pack your bags and go home while the locals clear up your SHIT. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

That's why any of your words cannot be taken seriously. Your suggestions here can really cause so much personal damage to those who listen to you. Don't you know that Singapore is still in general a conservative place? How would you know "If someone is interested in you"? Your gaydar is 100% correct? Seriously, what if you are wrong? What if that person starts going around telling people that the creepy you is going around trying to hook up men? Of course you won't care, would you? This is not your country, and at worse you pack your bags and go home while the locals clear up your SHIT. 

 

Shy or not, if no one makes the first move, nothing happens, and you just end up in this self-inflicted emotional drama. If you are interested in getting to know a guy better, establish that he is gay first, or you are simply wasting your time barking up the wrong tree. Once his sexual orientation is confirmed, get his number, go on a date, figure out if you are compatible, and want to know him more. If not, move on. 

 

If you do nothing, you spend the rest of your days (depending on how long the infatuation lasts), pining away on a fantasy, daydreaming all sorts of wonderful scenarios as a couple, that will never happen because you decided to do nothing. The worst-case scenario you get is a "no, I am not gay" or "no, I am already seeing someone." At least with that, you have closure, unless you much prefer to pine away like some romance novel.

 

I understand that for some guys, pining away is a much-preferred option, as it protects them from hurt and rejection. However, hurt and rejection is part of the process of finding/meeting the guy you want to be with. So go out and join some gay activity group, there are several out there. You never know your new boyfriend is there.

Edited by doncoin

Love. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35 minutes ago, doncoin said:

 

Shy or not, if no one makes the first move, nothing happens, and you just end up in this self-inflicted emotional drama. If you are interested in getting to know a guy better, establish that he is gay first, or you are simply wasting your time barking up the wrong tree. Once his sexual orientation is confirmed, get his number, go on a date, figure out if you are compatible, and want to know him more. If not, move on. 

 

If you do nothing, you spend the rest of your days (depending on how long the infatuation lasts), pining away on a fantasy, daydreaming all sorts of wonderful scenarios as a couple, that will never happen because you decided to do nothing. The worst-case scenario you get is a "no, I am not gay" or "no, I am already seeing someone." At least with that, you have closure, unless you much prefer to pine away like some romance novel.

 

I understand that for some guys, pining away is a much-preferred option, as it protects them from hurt and rejection. However, hurt and rejection is part of the process of finding/meeting the guy you want to be with. So go out and join some gay activity group, there are several out there. You never know your new boyfriend is there.

 

You missed the point completely.

 

Someone here was talking about " In public transport settings you won't always have time. The other might rush to work or to an event etc. exchanging numbers is the best way to get to know the other." 

 

So what "establish that he is gay first" are you even talking about? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

You missed the point completely.

 

Someone here was talking about " In public transport settings you won't always have time. The other might rush to work or to an event etc. exchanging numbers is the best way to get to know the other." 

 

So what "establish that he is gay first" are you even talking about? 

 

I see, for what it is worth, I did once get the number of a guy on public transport. We were both on a flight. Our eyes met in the boarding area, and throughout the flight, we made eye contact a few times as he was seated on the other side of the plane one row in front of me by the aisle. After disembarkation, he waited for me gave me his business card, and rushed off to his connecting flight.

 

I suppose for public transport it does depend on the length of the journey, and yes, I do think it is more challenging in Singapore as people are more discreet, and flirting openly is frowned upon. 

 

We did go on a date weeks later after spending some time texting and talking on the phone. Unfortunately, no chemistry. 

Edited by doncoin

Love. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't see any issue in approaching someone who is interested into you and step to the MRT platform and exchange telephone numbers.

 

What is the danger?

 

Nobody knows why and for what reason. You could be old school friends who lost touch and meet again.

 

Surely, anyone inside the public transport would have caused some interest in the other. I never propagated to talk to any stranger who doesn't hint to you that he's into guys. And you can always start on neutral grounds. Obviously, there must be some signs that the other is into guys and into you.

 

I find it hilarious that one certain bitter Guest troll has to come up with his hilariously silly posts and doesn't recognise how he just embarrasses himself here at every corner.

It is obvious that nobody intends to stick around with any such bitter person. I feel pity for him that he is so lonely and can only resort to such stuff.

 

I never recommended to contact anyone out of the blue you are attracted to in the public transport. But open your eyes, someone might be hinting to you...

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

Shy or not, if no one makes the first move, nothing happens, and you just end up in this self-inflicted emotional drama. If you are interested in getting to know a guy better, establish that he is gay first, or you are simply wasting your time barking up the wrong tree. Once his sexual orientation is confirmed, get his number, go on a date, figure out if you are compatible, and want to know him more. If not, move on. 

 

If you do nothing, you spend the rest of your days (depending on how long the infatuation lasts), pining away on a fantasy, daydreaming all sorts of wonderful scenarios as a couple, that will never happen because you decided to do nothing. The worst-case scenario you get is a "no, I am not gay" or "no, I am already seeing someone." At least with that, you have closure, unless you much prefer to pine away like some romance novel.

 

I understand that for some guys, pining away is a much-preferred option, as it protects them from hurt and rejection. However, hurt and rejection is part of the process of finding/meeting the guy you want to be with. So go out and join some gay activity group, there are several out there. You never know your new boyfriend is there.

 

Exactly, you hit the point.

 

Surely, you must have some reason to assume that the other guy (in public situations/ public transport) is into guys.

 

What I meant is with not having time, was time to go to a coffee shop or somewhere to talk to the other. Maybe you're  in the public transport rushing to a meeting or having some private things to settle otherwise. Not everyone has the luxury during office hours to spend time in coffee shops talking to a potential date...

In such cases, when you're in a rush or don't have much time,  you can just first exchange the telephone numbers.

 

But surely prior to that you must be certain the guy is gay.

 

I m not sure why Guests can make the issue more complicated than it is in nature. (But actually I know why that Guest does that...🤡)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, singalion said:

 

Exactly, you hit the point.

 

Surely, you must have some reason to assume that the other guy (in public situations/ public transport) is into guys.

 

What I meant is with not having time, was time to go to a coffee shop or somewhere to talk to the other. Maybe you're  in the public transport rushing to a meeting or having some private things to settle otherwise. Not everyone has the luxury during office hours to spend time in coffee shops talking to a potential date...

In such cases, when you're in a rush or don't have much time,  you can just first exchange the telephone numbers.

 

But surely prior to that you must be certain the guy is gay.

 

I m not sure why Guests can make the issue more complicated than it is in nature. (But actually I know why that Guest does that...🤡)

 

 

If a guy took the first step, be gracious and acknowledge. Can always exchange numbers and be friends. Not everyone wants to put his hands in yr underwear.

Edited by Balestier
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 minutes ago, Balestier said:

If a guy took the first step, be gracious and acknowledge. Can always exchange numbers and be friends. Not everyone wants to put his hands in yr underwear.

 

Everyone should be happy, as it is a sign that he is still attractive to others!

 

Better than not being noticed by anyone.

 

Unless it is inconvenient, colleagues around you etc, I would always talk to someone who shows interest, even if I know he is not really my type. At least I made a happy day for someone else. And you should respond to his courage "to come out" to someone.

 

 

Edited by singalion
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, singalion said:

 

Everyone should be happy, as it is a sign that he is still attractive to others!

 

Better than not being noticed by anyone.

 

Unless it is inconvenient, colleagues around you etc, I would always talk to someone who shows interest, even if I know he is not really my type. At least I made a happy day for someone else. And you should respond to his courage "to come out" to someone.

 

 

 

Creepo like you populate this forum. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, singalion said:

 

Everyone should be happy, as it is a sign that he is still attractive to others!

 

Better than not being noticed by anyone.

 

Unless it is inconvenient, colleagues around you etc, I would always talk to someone who shows interest, even if I know he is not really my type. At least I made a happy day for someone else. And you should respond to his courage "to come out" to someone.

 

 

I definitely will be happy if someone approached me in real life.

 

Also, I don't find it weird if a straight person would do that. Some of more extreme extroverted person would approach anyone to talk to. Some of my friends are like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, funky beaver said:

I definitely will be happy if someone approached me in real life.

 

Also, I don't find it weird if a straight person would do that. Some of more extreme extroverted person would approach anyone to talk to. Some of my friends are like that.

Esp insurance and housing agents.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, funky beaver said:

I am honestly not so happy if insurance or housing agents or direct seller approached me.

 

But if they are good looking, big nice tool and gay? 😂

 

I guess it violates the rules to market on the public transport also on bus interchanges and MRT stations.

 

In other settings, these not the only annoying ones: movers, tuition ...

I once thought of making a second name card for social or business events and hand a fake one with fake details to these people pestering you. 😆

 

Edited by singalion
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...

So recently I met this guy at the Apple store. Here's what happened. It was freaking hot on a weekend around 5ish, and I was out walking my dog in the neighbourhood. Given the heat, every time we walked by a store, and the doors opened, my dog wanted to go in to cool off. So finally, we arrived at the Apple store who had their a/c blasting, and given the concrete floor which was cool, my dog promptly lied down and refused to move. I finally carried him to one of the side areas so that he is out of the way, and just let him be. As I sat next to him by the window seat, he started attracting attention from the staff and customers. He is very cute and friendly. Several people stopped by to pet him etc. and my dog was enjoying every bit of attention. 

 

At some point. a guy sat next to me, he was waiting for one of the tech people to come down to help him. We started chatting, and I supposed my dog is a great wingman. The guy and I flirted a little, and we exchanged numbers using this new iPhone to iPhone bumped feature that one of the staff showed us. Later that evening, he texted me, and we met for a drink. It was ok. He was nice and everything, but not a match. 

Love. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...