"Why Cannot" Culture

[NeitherHereNorThere]

These days I get more and more "why cannot" from people, they will do what they want/like, and others have to explain why they shouldn't do that..

 

What happen to social norms? Or am I delusional?

[Steve5380]

You are not delusional at all.  You care for social norms, and this is why you tell others that they "should not".  Then, it is natural that they answer back "why cannot".

 

But it may not be worth your efforts.  If you can care less what others do,  you will get less "why cannot-s".

[funky beaver]

Maybe you want to give more context.

 

From what I understand from the phrase, "Why cannot?", I would assume it from a traditional mindset, as in, why you cannot get a wife, why you cannot have kids, why you cannot buy a car, why you cannot get a house, etc.

 

These has been going for long time.

[NeitherHereNorThere]

For example, people putting their feet up on another seat in bus, put bags to occupy another seat on train etc.

 

In the past, many would just stop what they were doing wrong, nowadays maybe people felt "threatened"? Hence try to justify with "why cannot", "what has this gotta do with you" "mind your own business".

[NeitherHereNorThere]

Is it education, is it environment?

[cutejack]

I find that example of "why cannot" is right. Y u tell them to put their legs down? As long they remove their footwear. OK what. Why cannot? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Edited March 18 by cutejack

[singalion]

7 hours ago, NeitherHereNorThere said:

These days I get more and more "why cannot" from people, they will do what they want/like, and others have to explain why they shouldn't do that..

 

What happen to social norms? Or am I delusional?

 

3 hours ago, NeitherHereNorThere said:

For example, people putting their feet up on another seat in bus, put bags to occupy another seat on train etc.

 

In the past, many would just stop what they were doing wrong, nowadays maybe people felt "threatened"? Hence try to justify with "why cannot", "what has this gotta do with you" "mind your own business".

 

Don't you call this "entitlement" issues?

 

I returned from an overseas trip due to the airline at Terminal 4.

 

As I my business colleague had a night flight to Europe I joined her to Terminal 3 with the Changi Airport guiding her to the provided shuttle bus stop at the front of the terminal.

 

When I arrived there the next bus indication was at 12 mins and there were about 5 people building a queue. On the seats meant for elderly, handicapped people at the front rows to the exit was a bunch of 15 guys  18 - 22s year olds occupying all seats. Before the shuttle bus arrived the queue had accumulated about 30 people lining up. But guess what, once the shuttle bus approached the road outside the terminal the bunch of 15 guys *(I personally assume they were actually NS men) jumped from the seats and walked in front of the other people at the queue rushing to the door of the bus. While there were still people exiting the bus, I told the 15 guys that they behaviour is inconsiderate if not rude and in future they should not occupy the seats in their young age as other persons as elderly might require to sit instead. One guy from this group then asked me what they should queue for and why they can't sit, if no bus is around while the others were making jokes by repeating what I said.  My reply to him was, whether he wasn't educated to queue.

 

I guess it seems a bit of attitude and lack of social education by the parents.

 

 

 

 

[singalion]

3 hours ago, cutejack said:

I find that example of "why cannot" is right. Y u tell them to put their legs down? As long they remove their footwear. OK what. Why cannot? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

As to my knowledge even if you removed the footwear it is not permitted or suitable to place your feet on the seat.

 

 

 

 

https://mustsharenews.com/woman-rests-feet-bus-seats/

 

 

 

 

[singalion]

3 hours ago, NeitherHereNorThere said:

For example, people putting their feet up on another seat in bus, put bags to occupy another seat on train etc.

 

In the past, many would just stop what they were doing wrong, nowadays maybe people felt "threatened"? Hence try to justify with "why cannot", "what has this gotta do with you" "mind your own business".

 

You are lucky, some people start shouting at you once you hint to them that they aren't observing normal manners.

People around you will think you are the "perpetrator" and not the person you talked to.

 

They don't feel threatened, I think it has something to do with that "loosing face" issue in Singapore. You talk to them in public, then they need to justify themselves because you sort of "shamed" them by pointing to their flaws or wrongs.

 

 

[Guest Can?]

8 hours ago, NeitherHereNorThere said:

These days I get more and more "why cannot" from people, they will do what they want/like, and others have to explain why they shouldn't do that..

 

What happen to social norms? Or am I delusional?

Are you talking about civil rights advocates or socially disobedient beings?  Your topic should be specific about what behaviours displeased you instead of using short ambiguous title.

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, NeitherHereNorThere said:

Is it education, is it environment?

 

A bit of both.  In today's progressive societies people feel that they have more liberties, more freedoms of expression, of acting.  Nothing wrong... as long as their "freedoms" don't interfere with other people's rights.

[Guest Bored]

11 hours ago, NeitherHereNorThere said:

These days I get more and more "why cannot" from people, they will do what they want/like, and others have to explain why they shouldn't do that..

 

What happen to social norms? Or am I delusional?

The truth you are bored so come on BW to share such 

 

like me am bore now waiting for laundry to be done so replied you 

 

if I have better things to do you think I care to reply

[NeitherHereNorThere]

9 hours ago, Guest Bored said:

The truth you are bored so come on BW to share such 

 

like me am bore now waiting for laundry to be done so replied you 

 

if I have better things to do you think I care to reply

??? 🤣🤣🤣 Bad hair day?

[NeitherHereNorThere]

10 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

A bit of both.  In today's progressive societies people feel that they have more liberties, more freedoms of expression, of acting.  Nothing wrong... as long as their "freedoms" don't interfere with other people's rights.

Agree.. freedom used to be fought for, now it's assumed... But no matter what, "social norms" should kick in no? Unless social norms also shifted

[redkiwi]

At work, I particularly like the "why cannot" altitude as it encourages all staff to challenge the norms and also reexamine current workflows based on the needs (which of course changes with time). Having said that, there is a proper way to use the "why not" and changes should not be done on the fly or in a disruptive manner. The quoted example of putting legs on the bus seats is more an entitled attitude I feel. But I may be delusional myself lah haha. My 2 cents worth. 

[Guest Guest]

After generations of people being ordered to do things unquestioningly, it is no wonder why the younger generations are now challenging the old norm of obeying in silence. Sometimes, we owe it to the younger generations to tell them "Why cannot". 

 

Joke to illustrate the point:

A young woman is preparing a roast for a family dinner, just as her mother taught her. Before placing it in the oven, she cuts off both ends of the roast. Her curious husband asks why she does that, and she responds that it's the way her mother always prepared it, suggesting it makes the meat tastier. Wanting to understand the reason behind this tradition, the husband asks his mother-in-law, who says she learned it from her mother. Still curious, they decide to ask the grandmother during a family gathering. The grandmother laughs when the question is posed and explains, "I cut off the ends of the roast because my cooking pot was too small to fit the whole thing!"

[NeitherHereNorThere]

7 hours ago, redkiwi said:

At work, I particularly like the "why cannot" altitude as it encourages all staff to challenge the norms and also reexamine current workflows based on the needs (which of course changes with time). Having said that, there is a proper way to use the "why not" and changes should not be done on the fly or in a disruptive manner. The quoted example of putting legs on the bus seats is more an entitled attitude I feel. But I may be delusional myself lah haha. My 2 cents worth. 

Work wise I agree, and the "why cannot" is asked in a way that challenges the way we work, to be more efficient.

 

I guess the self entitled part is also true, though I feel that many just argue for the sake of arguing, or because don't want to lose face.

[mate69]

Generally, Singaporeans are a very self-entitled bunch 

 

[horhorfun]

Some people might view "why cannot" as rude.

Edited March 19 by horhorfun

[Guest Guest]

2 hours ago, mate69 said:

Generally, Singaporeans are a very self-entitled bunch 

 

 

Singapore has opened up the country and given up a lot of good jobs to foreigners already. "Why cannot" be self-entitled a bit more??

[GeorgeTan2]

I guess the reason for this kind of mentality it's that Singapore's laws are too strict. Everything requires a definitive 'Because it's not illegal'. This mentality is our society. Similarly with parking. It is about being gracious to let the ones who have been waiting for a long time vs 'I am lucky, why cannot take it? There is no law saying I must give way what'

[singalion]

On 3/19/2024 at 8:20 AM, Guest Guest said:

After generations of people being ordered to do things unquestioningly, it is no wonder why the younger generations are now challenging the old norm of obeying in silence. Sometimes, we owe it to the younger generations to tell them "Why cannot". 

 

You are free to do a self examination on your own:

 

Board a public bus in Singapore, Malaysia, UK or Italy.

 

Certain things even if they sound "restrictive" had a good reason.

 

Enter the MRT in Singapore at 8pm and nowadays often you see coffee running through the compartment, sticky items on the floor, tissue paper and other things roaming around. You also see a lot of younger people challenging the rules (sometimes I think they seek attention) by drinking (not water) but bubble teas in buses or trains. You can also spot plenty of people in the age group 15 - 30 in the MRT or buses who eat chips, cookies, rice dishes while watching the Chinese/Malay/Indian soap movie on their phones. ...

 

I don't mind if employees "challenge" the rules/ work orders etc as long as they got a proposal on how to improve things. But they shouldn't challenge general discipline such as going to lunch starting at 11am or always returning 30 mins late without serious excuse. I wouldn't mind for such staff that can do an extra length when something needs to be done but those exceeding the rules are most the same ones that pack their things at 4.55pm... when official work end is at 5.30pm...

 

 

 

Edited March 20 by singalion

[singalion]

16 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Singapore has opened up the country and given up a lot of good jobs to foreigners already. "Why cannot" be self-entitled a bit more??

 

Just wonder here what foreigners have to do with the issue.

 

Also this false myth that only foreigners are doing "good jobs".

 

Most manual and lower admin jobs (even for office workers) are nowadays done by Foreigners.

 

Please refer to the statistics instead of posting falsehoods or claims.

 

Here look at the data:

 

 

Foreign workforce numbers

 

Pass type	Dec 2018	Dec 2019	Dec 2020	Dec 2021	Dec 2022	Dec 2023
Employment Pass (EP)	185,800	193,700	177,100	161,700	187,300	205,400
S Pass	195,500	200,000	174,000	161,800	177,900	178,500
Work Permit (Total)	972,600	999,000	848,200	849,700	1,033,500	1,113,000
Work Permit (MDW)	253,800	261,800	247,400	246,300	268,500	286,300
Work Permit (CMP sectors)	355,700	370,100	311,100	318,500	415,000	441,100
Other work passes2	32,100	34,700	32,200	27,200	25,400	28,500

 

 

Factually there are just 205,000 EP and 178,000 S Pass holders (more skilled employees).

the rest are workers and construction workers.

 

 

And compare this against 2.475 million Singaporeans and 500,000 PRs in the workforce.

 

 

Please let's not get duped with these untruths.

 

 

 

Edited March 19 by singalion

[redkiwi]

16 hours ago, NeitherHereNorThere said:

Work wise I agree, and the "why cannot" is asked in a way that challenges the way we work, to be more efficient.

 

I guess the self entitled part is also true, though I feel that many just argue for the sake of arguing, or because don't want to lose face.

I suspect the underlying root cause of all these behaviour is stress. We live in an increasingly fast paced and unforgiving society, which forces these innate self preservation behaviour to appear. Although I do feel there's no reason to be rude to others.

[Steve5380]

The "why-cannot-culture" is best applied to ourselves,  instead of others.

 

"Why-cannot" I do this or that?  It is difficult, it is hard.  "Why-cannot" I do it regardless?  "Let's try".    There is no limit to this,  and it gets easier the more we try. 

[earth_tone]

https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18001286759410047/ 

 

WHY! WHY?

[auscent]

1. People are more empowered now to challenge status quo.

: Due to educatn level, exposed to diff culture, social media that gets validation etc.

 

2. People are more oppressed now

: Due to widening gaps eg: more restrictn now in buying property compared to 20 yrs ago

 

Combined, society becomes more assertive