How to cope with lying and dishonesty in a relationship?

[memyselfandi]

Gd day to all,

 

Recently, I was deeply hurt by a date who had been lying to me over various occasions. This had happened more than once. When being bring out for talk or discussion, there is not even any apologies but many times it ended both arguing and quarrelling. Apart½ from this, the behaviour of my date is also very contradicting towards what he said. 

 

I'm really affected by this. Why am I being treated this way where by I treated him the best that I could. 

 

Thank you and have a great day everyone

[Guest guest]

You don't cope, you end this type of relationship. As hard as it may be, this kind of boyfriend is best stayed away.

[ctrl]

typical red flag, I would be so glad because we ain’t a couple yet 

 

don’t lose hope out there 💪🏻

[GachiMuchi]

7 hours ago, memyselfandi said:

Gd day to all,

 

Recently, I was deeply hurt by a date who had been lying to me over various occasions. This had happened more than once. When being bring out for talk or discussion, there is not even any apologies but many times it ended both arguing and quarrelling. Apart½ from this, the behaviour of my date is also very contradicting towards what he said. 

 

I'm really affected by this. Why am I being treated this way where by I treated him the best that I could. 

 

Thank you and have a great day everyone

 

!. He is your type?

2. You guys had sex already or only dating?

3. How long you guys know each other? 1 week? 1 month? 1 year?

 

Why are you wasting time on someone who don't give a shit about you and keeps deceiving you? Did you gave your virginity to him or lend him money? Why you let him affects you? For someone who is not in line with your views, why are you still thinking of him?

Unless.....??

[doncoin]

@memyselfandi it has nothing to do with you. What and how the person chooses to do, including lying are independent decisions. I am sorry that you have been negatively affected by it, but if the person you are with, or surrounding yourself with are not creating a neutral to positive feeling within you, it is best to distant yourself from such people. 

 

 

[memyselfandi]

52 minutes ago, GachiMuchi said:

 

!. He is your type?

2. You guys had sex already or only dating?

3. How long you guys know each other? 1 week? 1 month? 1 year?

 

Why are you wasting time on someone who don't give a shit about you and keeps deceiving you? Did you gave your virginity to him or lend him money? Why you let him affects you? For someone who is not in line with your views, why are you still thinking of him?

Unless.....??

Yes he is of my type after being single for sometime 

Weve been dating and had sex already and been knowing each other for 10 months now.

Although there are many deceiving situations, I'm giving him chances as human being are not perfect , including myself. I value him for who he is. Things that he had done in fact do affect me a lot. Sometimes, I just felt that I should had let go for long run? It may be extremely painful at the point where this relationship being ended. When someone are in love, its always difficult to make wise decision and judgement no matter how calm or logical a person is. Ive been trying to not think over this matter, I failed. 

[memyselfandi]

In this world, there are many types of human being. Out of the types, there is one category of human being whereby it's impossible for one to change their character, even if they will try very hard. 

This is also called a leopard never change its spot. Itsvery disappointing that I have come across someone who  have this habit.

Edited July 24 by memyselfandi

[Guest Huh]

Why start a new thread to say what is already being said on your other thread? 

[GachiMuchi]

48 minutes ago, memyselfandi said:

Yes he is of my type after being single for sometime 

Weve been dating and had sex already and been knowing each other for 10 months now.

Although there are many deceiving situations, I'm giving him chances as human being are not perfect , including myself. I value him for who he is. Things that he had done in fact do affect me a lot. Sometimes, I just felt that I should had let go for long run? It may be extremely painful at the point where this relationship being ended. When someone are in love, its always difficult to make wise decision and judgement no matter how calm or logical a person is. Ive been trying to not think over this matter, I failed. 

 

I see. You are talking sense and knows what is happening but you chose to continue to allow yourself to be deceived. 

You felt that your 10 month of selfless giving should worth something to him, but seriously, I can only say, you are deceving yourself. 

The longer you hang on to a loveless relationship the harder it is for you to break it off, because you had invested too much into it.

No one can talk any logic to you because you are beyond logic.

Continue to dwell in your pain and suffering while you think you still hold hope with him. 

Sorry to say, fat hope.

你死了这条心吧！

 

[GachiMuchi]

58 minutes ago, memyselfandi said:

In this world, there are many types of human being. Out of the types, there is one category of human being whereby it's impossible for one to change their character, even if they will try very hard. 

This is also called a leopard never change its spot. Itery dis ppointing that I have come across someone who  have this habit.

 

Same goes for you lah. You also cannot change.

As much as we tell you to let go, you cannot let go = you can't change.

 

[Guest Lol]

Some people are like that. I guess just cut them out of your life. 

 

My colleagues are like that. Everyday just lie about how busy he is. Then when manager ask him to breakdown his day by hour. Realised that he doesn't do much. Just waiting around for meeting. 

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, memyselfandi said:

Yes he is of my type after being single for sometime 

Weve been dating and had sex already and been knowing each other for 10 months now.

Although there are many deceiving situations, I'm giving him chances as human being are not perfect , including myself. I value him for who he is. Things that he had done in fact do affect me a lot. Sometimes, I just felt that I should had let go for long run? It may be extremely painful at the point where this relationship being ended. When someone are in love, its always difficult to make wise decision and judgement no matter how calm or logical a person is. Ive been trying to not think over this matter, I failed. 

 

A year or 10 months is not a long time.  If you are not yet middle aged, you have plenty of time to find another relationship that can be successful.  And if you are middle aged, you have still plenty of time before you are old.  

 

You write that he is your type and you value him for who he is.  This is not enough, HE should value you for who you are.  And we still don't know the nature of his lies.  Are they trivial, or fundamental?  If he simply has not learned to be honest and sincere, this can be remedied. But here is the important question:  does HE value the relationship? If it is breaking, will he do whatever he can to save it?  Would he be willing to change, to compromise?   Because WE ALL CAN DO THIS, but we have to have the will to do it. 

 

If he fails in this last item, the relationship is not worth continuing.  But it does not have to be a complete loss:  you must have gained some EXPERIENCE,  which can strengthen you for the life ahead.  Don't procrastinate, but make soon a wise decision regardless of love.  Once we know how to love, it becomes nearly inexhaustible and available for other relationships with other persons.  And based on this experience, you will be careful when to bring it out with certain persons. 

[memyselfandi]

Whether to change or not, I felt his determination wasn't 100%. But it has come to an END finally. Sincere close friends do feel happy about it that finally decision has been made. Just need to endure the pain during this transition period. Cheers..

[Guest Spilling Milk]

On 7/24/2024 at 3:39 AM, memyselfandi said:

Yes he is of my type after being single for sometime 

Weve been dating and had sex already and been knowing each other for 10 months now.

 

10 months is not long.  There are straight couple who still divorce after 20 years of relationship, even when these couple  have grown up children in their teenage years.   How many times can they divorce and attached" without facing legality and family pressures or worse, gossiped?  Unlike gay with so much freedom......  We can "divorce" and "attached" numerous times for as long as we find the right one.  No family drama, backslash nor pressure.  We make the decision ourselves, we say what we want, and do it quietly without much fanfare, party nor ceremony.  Changing gay partner is not a sin,  unlike straight adultery,  and that should be a consolation for the gay.  If you managed to find a partner willing to sacrifice his life for you, accept it as rare bonus and even then I find it freaky. 

[G_M]

On 7/24/2024 at 10:47 PM, MasterFitMalaySG4U said:

If u knew is red flag toxic why stay? 

 

For me, on the spot vulgar his face left...blocked for life...then cruise n look for someone to play or train with that day! Haha u only had one chance to impress me I get bored easily haha I need to see the passion interest not from your mouth but your horniness aura energy n that hunger for cock n to be fuck....if I asked u to wear jockstap wear it if not wear mine sniff smell etc...i am not for the weak..u need to be ready when I need u to choke n bend down for me...be a good fucking btm slut slave sub...

 

Master dom like me don't like drama emo that is for the weak....being single n free is the best enjoy meeting new people fun sex exhibit cruise hunt watch etc ....I rather have horny bastards bros for life or brotherhood...engaging...n fucking shiok!!! 

 

Hello, this is not the page for you to advertise yourself and talk about what you doing.

This is a discussion not for you to rant about how you get your kinks!

 

1 warning point for posting ad.

 

 

[radiusulnar]

On 7/24/2024 at 5:26 PM, memyselfandi said:

Whether to change or not, I felt his determination wasn't 100%. But it has come to an END finally. Sincere close friends do feel happy about it that finally decision has been made. Just need to endure the pain during this transition period. Cheers..

 

Happy for you that you have decided to move on. It is all too easy to stay with the status quo due to inertia and fear of the unknown even though we are unhappy.

[Hungrybtms2]

You have to accept the guys fucking him...either lost a dick or a hole...or move on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 27 by Hungrybtms2

[singalion]

On 7/23/2024 at 7:10 PM, memyselfandi said:

Gd day to all,

 

Recently, I was deeply hurt by a date who had been lying to me over various occasions. This had happened more than once. When being bring out for talk or discussion, there is not even any apologies but many times it ended both arguing and quarrelling. Apart½ from this, the behaviour of my date is also very contradicting towards what he said. 

 

I'm really affected by this. Why am I being treated this way where by I treated him the best that I could. 

 

Thank you and have a great day everyone

 

If you like the guy too much, then you need to swallow the lies and dishonesty.

 

If you want to keep him, maybe instead of quarreling offer to participate in 3some or group.

 

If you can't take the dishonesty, then just let go.

 

You wrote the guy was a date, that means he wasn't a bf or anything.

 

As you didn't really explain what the dishonesty was about, can just guess.

 

But if you are just a sex date, you can't expect anyone to just be exclusive to you.

Maybe the issue is more on communication that you intended more with him (getting into a relationship) but that was not at all his intention.

 

 

Edited July 29 by singalion

[Guest Redemption]

Treat your patner like a prodigal son.  He can be disobedient and wayward at times, but ultimately he will come to realise you are the best and return home to you.  Then, welcome him with open arms, forgive his mistake, and........and.....threw a party?

 

 

[Steve5380]

On 7/29/2024 at 7:54 AM, Guest Redemption said:

Treat your patner like a prodigal son.  He can be disobedient and wayward at times, but ultimately he will come to realise you are the best and return home to you.  Then, welcome him with open arms, forgive his mistake, and........and.....threw a party?

 

 

Wonderful advice!

[memyselfandi]

On 7/29/2024 at 2:37 PM, singalion said:

 

If you like the guy too much, then you need to swallow the lies and dishonesty.

 

If you want to keep him, maybe instead of quarreling offer to participate in 3some or group.

 

If you can't take the dishonesty, then just let go.

 

You wrote the guy was a date, that means he wasn't a bf or anything.

 

As you didn't really explain what the dishonesty was about, can just guess.

 

But if you are just a sex date, you can't expect anyone to just be exclusive to you.

Maybe the issue is more on communication that you intended more with him (getting into a relationship) but that was not at all his intention.

 

 

I believe there is a limit for everything. We can't just be giver and gives in everything despite right or wrong. Some how, you will be tired. This happened to a friend of mine before. The situation dragged for close to 3 years until it comes to an end.

[memyselfandi]

Hi guys, it has been sometime I'm away and I'm gladly announced that I have ended it last week. Treat myself with short gateway, the tranquility and serenity allows me to discover who am I and what do I really want and how to move on. Life is not just about a relationship. There are many things that we could do to make your life more worthwhile. A big thank you for all who had given their previous comment.

 

Cheers.

 

 

 

 

[singalion]

On 8/1/2024 at 7:49 PM, memyselfandi said:

I believe there is a limit for everything. We can't just be giver and gives in everything despite right or wrong. Some how, you will be tired. This happened to a friend of mine before. The situation dragged for close to 3 years until it comes to an end.

 

It says, you need two to tango.

 

If you aren't on a same level with your bf and you talked and agreed what you want in your relationship, surely it won't work out in the long term.

 

But you have to see that sex between couples often dries out after a certain time. Then you need to look for a livable solution for both partners.

 

However, if already at start, there is just dishonesty and lies, probably the guy did not respect you at all.

 

What often doesn't happen at the start of relationships is that both don't talk about their expectations and the limits... it is very important to touch the issue, otherwise it will just end in frustrations on one side.

 

 

[memyselfandi]

10 hours ago, singalion said:

 

It says, you need two to tango.

 

If you aren't on a same level with your bf and you talked and agreed what you want in your relationship, surely it won't work out in the long term.

 

But you have to see that sex between couples often dries out after a certain time. Then you need to look for a livable solution for both partners.

 

However, if already at start, there is just dishonesty and lies, probably the guy did not respect you at all.

 

What often doesn't happen at the start of relationships is that both don't talk about their expectations and the limits... it is very important to touch the issue, otherwise it will just end in frustrations on one side.

 

 

The saga ended and it was a big relief. It comes to and end because the one who in the wrong position still doesn't think that he is I'm wrong. That nothing to say or comment anymore

[Fuyutsuki]

On 7/23/2024 at 7:10 PM, memyselfandi said:

Gd day to all,

 

Recently, I was deeply hurt by a date who had been lying to me over various occasions. This had happened more than once. When being bring out for talk or discussion, there is not even any apologies but many times it ended both arguing and quarrelling. Apart½ from this, the behaviour of my date is also very contradicting towards what he said. 

 

I'm really affected by this. Why am I being treated this way where by I treated him the best that I could. 

 

Thank you and have a great day everyone

 

If your partner is lying, then it is never a good sign. If your partner do not wish to discuss the issues that affects your relationship with him, then I suggest to cool things off. 

 

Life is never fair. Treating someone the way you wish to be treated is not exactly wrong, but when used on a person that is selfish, then it will never work.