planning for your death

[egal]

sorry if it sounds a bit morbid, but what have you planned for your death?

 

or are you too young to care about this yet?

[Blogger Adam]

It’s not morbid at all. At least, to me. 
 

I’m 45 and I’m already an advocate on planning for the future, including our eventual death. 
 

For a start, my partner and I have made each other our LPA (lasting power of attorney). 
 

He’s even drawn up a will (I haven’t — will get to that eventually). 
 

In our 20-over years together, we’ve grown so comfortable with each other that we can talk about death. 
 

I know what hymns he’d like for his funeral if he goes first. As for mine, he doesn’t know yet. 
 

Because I am hoping he dies first (he’s just a year older but healthier than I) — I don’t want him to mourn me when I’m gone and so if I have my way, I want the pain to be mine. 
 

But I digress. 
 

Planning for death can be morbid but when taken in the right spirit, it’s actually responsible. 
 

I’ve had discussions with my mum (she’s already drawn up her will and told me and my siblings that we’ll get equal share). She’s also specifically spelt out certain requirements she’d like at her wake.
 

In fact, she and her siblings — aunts and uncles whom I love dearly too — have already bought niches units away from one another.
 

Funnily enough, such arrangements are comforting to know. 
 

That said, I’m not looking forward to implementing those plans any time soon. 
 

As my witty mum once said, “the niche lot that I bought is so desirable that everyone is dying to get there.” 

[cbm]

Now there's a public agency website at https://mylegacy.life.gov.sg/ that has information and resources on things to prepare and plan for "end-of-life" matters. 

 

Stuff like Lasting Power of Attorney, Advance Care Plan, how to write a will, etc.

 

The feature I like most is the Vault where you can keep and share important documents with others. It uses Singpass for login. 

[Steve5380]

On 8/30/2024 at 1:19 PM, Blogger Adam said:

It’s not morbid at all. At least, to me. 
 

I’m 45 and I’m already an advocate on planning for the future, including our eventual death. 
 

For a start, my partner and I have made each other our LPA (lasting power of attorney). 
 

He’s even drawn up a will (I haven’t — will get to that eventually). 
 

In our 20-over years together, we’ve grown so comfortable with each other that we can talk about death. 
 

I know what hymns he’d like for his funeral if he goes first. As for mine, he doesn’t know yet. 
 

Because I am hoping he dies first (he’s just a year older but healthier than I) — I don’t want him to mourn me when I’m gone and so if I have my way, I want the pain to be mine. 
 

But I digress. 
 

Planning for death can be morbid but when taken in the right spirit, it’s actually responsible. 
 

I’ve had discussions with my mum (she’s already drawn up her will and told me and my siblings that we’ll get equal share). She’s also specifically spelt out certain requirements she’d like at her wake.
 

In fact, she and her siblings — aunts and uncles whom I love dearly too — have already bought niches units away from one another.
 

Funnily enough, such arrangements are comforting to know. 
 

That said, I’m not looking forward to implementing those plans any time soon. 
 

As my witty mum once said, “the niche lot that I bought is so desirable that everyone is dying to get there.” 

 

I am 81, and my planning for death is quite simple.  I left directives to be cremated,  no funeral, nothing.  I also like the alternative to donate my body "to science", that is, to a medical school or something like this to take me apart.  

 

I lived for over two decades with my my bf, 20 years younger. He had a disability and I took care of him.  HE wanted to go first, and I am glad that I did not go first.  He passed away 6 years ago, and the pain has barely subsided,  it will be with me for the rest of my life.  I am so glad that HE didn't have to suffer like this, and also, he would have been left quite helpless if I had died first.    In my imagination, he is now in heaven, the only place where he belongs, and has become my guardian angel.  I cared for him for many years, NOW he is caring for me, and he does this quite well.  I am a very happy man.

 

I have an older sister who is planning to come and live with me.  We are both octogenarians, and I can see that I will be taking care of her. She helped me when I was a young boy,  now the roles will reverse.  This is FAIR.   We coincide on our ideas about death.  NO ceremonies, NO burials, NO nothing.

[Blogger Adam]

4 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I am 81, and my planning for death is quite simple.  I left directives to be cremated,  no funeral, nothing.  I also like the alternative to donate my body "to science", that is, to a medical school or something like this to take me apart.  

 

I lived for over two decades with my my bf, 20 years younger. He had a disability and I took care of him.  HE wanted to go first, and I am glad that I did not go first.  He passed away 6 years ago, and the pain has barely subsided,  it will be with me for the rest of my life.  I am so glad that HE didn't have to suffer like this, and also, he would have been left quite helpless if I had died first.    In my imagination, he is now in heaven, the only place where he belongs, and has become my guardian angel.  I cared for him for many years, NOW he is caring for me, and he does this quite well.  I am a very happy man.

 

I have an older sister who is planning to come and live with me.  We are both octogenarians, and I can see that I will be taking care of her. She helped me when I was a young boy,  now the roles will reverse.  This is FAIR.   We coincide on our ideas about death.  NO ceremonies, NO burials, NO nothing.

Wow. Thank you for sharing something so personal, so raw, so intimate. 

[egal]

the cost of dying is crazy

 

and also the mess left behind etc

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, egal said:

the cost of dying is crazy

 

and also the mess left behind etc

 

You are right.  The COST can be reduced with cremation right after death, no ceremonies, no burial

 

The mess can be avoided, in consideration to the ones left behind, by not being a HOARDER, and by having our finances in order, with good information about them, and having an official will.

[egal]

true.  a lot of research needed.

[Togsport]

On 9/1/2024 at 1:22 PM, egal said:

the cost of dying is crazy

 

and also the mess left behind etc

 

We should plan our death and whatever follows, so as not to burden those we left behind .. 

[egal]

good point

 

i shld start by clearing my room

[Keff]

I look forward to my death, when the time comes.

 

I have some thoughts on how I want to go. I want to have a last party with friends and family to say goodbye. Everyone will be happy for me....or at least those who are able to understand my actions.

 

Then I will retreat and never be seen of again.

 

Anyone seen the fantastic Sufi movie Bab'Aziz? That is a beautiful way to go.

It may not be for everyone. Most will think it is a load of nonsense. But for those who are able, they will appreciate it.

 

 

[egal]

so wht was the gist of the film

[Steve5380]

On 11/25/2024 at 7:33 PM, Keff said:

I look forward to my death, when the time comes.

 

I have some thoughts on how I want to go. I want to have a last party with friends and family to say goodbye. Everyone will be happy for me....or at least those who are able to understand my actions.

 

Then I will retreat and never be seen of again.

 

Anyone seen the fantastic Sufi movie Bab'Aziz? That is a beautiful way to go.

It may not be for everyone. Most will think it is a load of nonsense. But for those who are able, they will appreciate it.

 

 

 

I find it a beautiful movie, very allegorical.  As I watched it, I became increasingly emotional.

 

We are all souls, which we are unable to define and understand, and at birth we are assigned to a body that brings us in contact with reality, while also becoming our inescapable prison during our lifetime.  This time comes to an end, and then the body is discarded, and this is all we "know".

 

The old man called the little girl "my angel".  I think that all newborns are angels.  This "angelical" starts to get contaminated by the needs of the body.  We go through life as more or less contaminated angelical souls. Does the "angelical" get corrupted by this?  I don't know, maybe not!   Maybe after the body is discarded we emerge again as angelical souls no matter what the body did.  Why not?   With this idea in mind,  if I had to reinvent the religions of Abraham and Christ,  I would leave out this theory of praise or punishment, heaven or hell after death... for all eternity !!!???   But then, these reinvented religions would lose a strong appeal, and would end up forgotten.

 

For the duration of our life,  even with a contaminated angelical soul,  I think that the best we can do is to feel blessed, by an undefinable cause.

.

Edited November 27 by Steve5380

[Steve5380]

On 8/25/2024 at 5:56 AM, egal said:

sorry if it sounds a bit morbid, but what have you planned for your death?

 

or are you too young to care about this yet?

 

I am closer to my death than the majority of you.  I don't plan for it,  except for the disposal of what I will leave behind.  How to plan for the unknown?

[Keff]

14 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I find it a beautiful movie, very allegorical.  As I watched it, I became increasingly emotional.

 

We are all souls, which we are unable to define and understand, and at birth we are assigned to a body that brings us in contact with reality, while also becoming our inescapable prison during our lifetime.  This time comes to an end, and then the body is discarded, and this is all we "know".

 

The old man called the little girl "my angel".  I think that all newborns are angels.  This "angelical" starts to get contaminated by the needs of the body.  We go through life as more or less contaminated angelical souls. Does the "angelical" get corrupted by this?  I don't know, maybe not!   Maybe after the body is discarded we emerge again as angelical souls no matter what the body did.  Why not?   With this idea in mind,  if I had to reinvent the religions of Abraham and Christ,  I would leave out this theory of praise or punishment, heaven or hell after death... for all eternity !!!???   But then, these reinvented religions would lose a strong appeal, and would end up forgotten.

 

For the duration of our life,  even with a contaminated angelical soul,  I think that the best we can do is to feel blessed, by an undefinable cause.

.

Some say that we actually pick our bodies, our parents, and design our our own lives  before we enter into our bodies at birth.

 

Also I would say that "corruption" of the body is not really true. For there are no accidents. Everything leads to the ultimate goal, no matter how bad it may seem to us at that time. In Christian parlance...I would say there is no such thing as sin and hell.

 

I first came into contact with this idea while having lunch with a retired Bishop of Malaya and his wife...no less. When he told me that Hell doesn't really exist, it blew my mind. I could not wrap my head around the idea, so I did not pursue the matter. It took me another  decade or more of searching before I started to understand what he was saying to me.

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, Keff said:

Some say that we actually pick our bodies, our parents, and design our our own lives  before we enter into our bodies at birth.

 

Also I would say that "corruption" of the body is not really true. For there are no accidents. Everything leads to the ultimate goal, no matter how bad it may seem to us at that time. In Christian parlance...I would say there is no such thing as sin and hell.

 

I first came into contact with this idea while having lunch with a retired Bishop of Malaya and his wife...no less. When he told me that Hell doesn't really exist, it blew my mind. I could not wrap my head around the idea, so I did not pursue the matter. It took me another  decade or more of searching before I started to understand what he was saying to me.

 

Everything is possible.  Reality does not need our approval or understanding to exist.  Therefore, being an agnostic we not only don't believe, but we also don't dis-believe, except for the obviously false.  And, speaking of modesty, we should not worry too much if we are right or wrong in our speculations. Errare humanum est!

 

I didn't mean corruption of the body,  but of the "angelical" soul, which has the purity of the abstract.  During our life, this soul gets tainted with the struggles of the body. In this speculation, the soul of a person like Hitler was ( or is? ) also pure, his horrible actions were consequences of the "humanity" of his body, and he may have found his actions erroneously justified. 

 

The more I learn about the biological complexity of our bodies, the more I wonder how they have come to exist.  The theory of evolution, that randomness lead to the formation of the first living cell and everything progressed from there...  isn't this also DOGMA?  So.. WHAT TO BELIEVE??   I think that resting importance to have correct answers and knowledge of the truth,  adds to our happiness!

.

Edited November 28 by Steve5380

[Keff]

13 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Everything is possible.  Reality does not need our approval or understanding to exist.  Therefore, being an agnostic we not only don't believe, but we also don't dis-believe, except for the obviously false.  And, speaking of modesty, we should not worry too much if we are right or wrong in our speculations. Errare humanum est!

 

I didn't mean corruption of the body,  but of the "angelical" soul, which has the purity of the abstract.  During our life, this soul gets tainted with the struggles of the body. In this speculation, the soul of a person like Hitler was ( or is? ) also pure, his horrible actions were consequences of the "humanity" of his body, and he may have found his actions erroneously justified. 

 

The more I learn about the biological complexity of our bodies, the more I wonder how they have come to exist.  The theory of evolution, that randomness lead to the formation of the first living cell and everything progressed from there...  isn't this also DOGMA?  So.. WHAT TO BELIEVE??   I think that resting importance to have correct answers and knowledge of the truth,  adds to our happiness!

.

Well, I would say that even more so the body, the soul cannot be tainted.

 

I like the way the Hindus view the Divine and its relationship to us. Instead of the Abrahamic (Christian/Muslim/Jewish)  "God is with us"...i.e. separate from us, the Hindus view God as IN us, AS us. They view that God is intimately dwelling in all of creation, in the good guys, and in the bad guys. They are all equally valid, even Hitler and Genghis Khan.

 

These are difficult concepts to accept, I know.

[Steve5380]

50 minutes ago, Keff said:

Well, I would say that even more so the body, the soul cannot be tainted.

 

I like the way the Hindus view the Divine and its relationship to us. Instead of the Abrahamic (Christian/Muslim/Jewish)  "God is with us"...i.e. separate from us, the Hindus view God as IN us, AS us. They view that God is intimately dwelling in all of creation, in the good guys, and in the bad guys. They are all equally valid, even Hitler and Genghis Khan.

 

These are difficult concepts to accept, I know.

 

I like the Hindu concept you mentioned,  that God is IN us, our souls may be extensions of God, hanging like leaves from the Divine tree.  And God looks out at his creation through 8 billion pairs of eyes. Maybe this is why to make eye contact is good...

 

And even further...  may be this consciousness of our souls is what we call God, a substance imperceptible to us, like the anti-matter, yet a component of Nature.

[Keff]

 

11 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I like the Hindu concept you mentioned,  that God is IN us, our souls may be extensions of God, hanging like leaves from the Divine tree.  And God looks out at his creation through 8 billion pairs of eyes. Maybe this is why to make eye contact is good...

 

And even further...  may be this consciousness of our souls is what we call God, a substance imperceptible to us, like the anti-matter, yet a component of Nature.

You are right. The natural extrapolation of this concept is that God is experiencing Himself and his creation THROUGH us.

 

The realisation of this is at once terrifying and wondrous.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Keff said:

 

You are right. The natural extrapolation of this concept is that God is experiencing Himself and his creation THROUGH us.

 

The realisation of this is at once terrifying and wondrous.

 

It is less terrifying when we realize that this can be Nature, be natural, and it has been going on for a long, long time.   As long as God does not get bored and tired of experiencing Himself and his creation, through us!... 😄  

[Keff]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

It is less terrifying when we realize that this can be Nature, be natural, and it has been going on for a long, long time.   As long as God does not get bored and tired of experiencing Himself and his creation, through us!... 😄  

You are absolutely right. Did not Jesus say/quote "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, 'You are gods'?'"

 

Funny thing is, I find the thought of existing forever rather terrifying. Imagine if your consciousness/awareness goes on and on, there is no way to extinguish it. Other people might like the idea, but personally I feel uneasy whenever I try to imagine it.

 

I have a hunch it is why we choose to lose our connection with Source/Divine and incarnate on this earth from time to time. It is almost a vacation from All-Awareness. LOL. I think I must come across as uttering gibberish to other people.

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, Keff said:

You are absolutely right. Did not Jesus say/quote "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, 'You are gods'?'"

 

Funny thing is, I find the thought of existing forever rather terrifying. Imagine if your consciousness/awareness goes on and on, there is no way to extinguish it. Other people might like the idea, but personally I feel uneasy whenever I try to imagine it.

 

I have a hunch it is why we choose to lose our connection with Source/Divine and incarnate on this earth from time to time. It is almost a vacation from All-Awareness. LOL. I think I must come across as uttering gibberish to other people.

 

Yes, it may be possible that you come across as uttering gibberish to people who don't have a fertile imagination. Not everyone is gifted with an inquisitive mind.  With those people you could speak about the weather. 😄

 

Like inanimated matter that changes into many different forms and objects, our spirit may take different souls. And each one starts afresh with a new birth with a perspective of youth and idealism and passion.  Who knows!  Maybe our spirit has experienced this multiple times,  with some rest in between like you suggest.  And each time we are a little better, like Buddhism predicts.

 

If we are gods, it could be that our essence is not materialistically powerful, like that of the God of Israel, but spiritual, and our power is in what we do when we have a body.  The Universe and its power may have existed forever, like our "divine" essence, who knows!  There may not be any need for a creating Creature with infinite power and wisdom and love and blah, blah, blah...

[egal]

anyone heard of swedish death cleaning