Bad Dating Experience

[CrazyBrain]

Reading through one of the tread regarding money and dating. It seems that many of us has had bad dating experience. Hence I started this tread to gossip about your bad dates.

Lets start off with myself -

This is more like a meet up than a date. But this is the experience that I will never forget. I always bring to up to entertain my friend too! haha

Lets call the this Calvin. He is from Taiwan if I am not wrong. I knew him online and had been chatting for quite a while. So we decided to meet up to have a movie and dinner(the usual dating stuff).

When I first saw him, I know that he is not my type (sorry). But I decided to make it a good one since we have met up and I had a good impression of him chatting online. Things turn bad just after a few conversation. Although he told me b4 that he is a quiet person but I never tot he it THAT quiet. I was trying to break the ice and keep the conversation rolling. However, it doesn't seem working as he is like in his own world, replying me closed ended short answer all the time. I believe communication is like a volley ball game, each player keeping the ball passing to each other. So I put a fail in the interpersonal and communication skills section in the "report card". During the whole met up, we talked less than 20 sentences.

After that is the dinning test which he failed badly. I still remember we went to the xing wang hk cafe to have our dinner. Our table is a long-benches-4to6-persons table. I took a seat on the outermost of the bench (the other side is against the wall) so that the waitress can easily hear me. he come in and sit at the corner which is diagonally to me. what is worse was that he kept looking at his food while talking to me! We were just like 2 strangers sharing a table in the hawker center!

I can't stand it in the end and told him that I want to go home early. He told me in the sms that he was shy. OMFG! he is 5 years older than me.

That's my exp, now where is yours?

Throw it out, gals. I know you want to curse and swear that guy who wasted your time + money, given the opportunity cost that you could have get more guys somewhere else. *BAD INVESTMENT*

[GachiMuchi]

I have many Taiwanese friends and I think such scenario is possible. Like the Japanese, there are such people call Otaku (宅男） which means Stay Home guys. So it seems, that guy may chat well with you online, but when he meet face-to-face, he may have problems in "communicating" with you. Haha, maybe you looked very intimidating to him. So how old is he? 30?

[beef4beef]

I have many Taiwanese friends and I think such scenario is possible. Like the Japanese, there are such people call Otaku (宅男） which means Stay Home guys. So it seems, that guy may chat well with you online, but when he meet face-to-face, he may have problems in "communicating" with you. Haha, maybe you looked very intimidating to him. So how old is he? 30?

I agree with Gachi Muchi and have similar experiences. Not even as a date but just as friends meeting up for the first time over a meal. There's also a language challenge to add with a non-fluent English speaking 'date' for me. I imagine, Crazybrain has the benefit of being able to speak Taiwanese at least.

The secret is to find that special interest. One example was this Japanese guy who was quiet as a mouse throughout most part of dinner and I was almost certain it was an online friendship to be, but when I brought up the topic of watches (seeing that he had a nice Swiss Longines watch on). Immediately he lighted up and was more relaxed, and began talking. Through him, I found out that there was a thriving 2nd hand watch industry in Japan (the likes of Beverly Hills stores). We visited quite a few of these stores over the next few days in different towns and had great food adventures.

Lucky? Maybe, but it's been working pretty well so far. But I mean, if he's a dead fish, he's a dead fish, so just as CrazyBrain did, just excuse yourself as soon as the time is right and move on quickly.

Edited February 10, 2009 by beef4beef

[CrazyBrain]

I have many Taiwanese friends and I think such scenario is possible. Like the Japanese, there are such people call Otaku (宅男） which means Stay Home guys. So it seems, that guy may chat well with you online, but when he meet face-to-face, he may have problems in "communicating" with you. Haha, maybe you looked very intimidating to him. So how old is he? 30?

Back then he was 27, I met him years ago and I can still remember it well. haha... guess I will never forget this date.

No one has any experience to share? I am sure you had have met some weird ppl.

The next one I want to share is quite funny - a day with a 60 years old ah pek. i was 19 back then.

[Asyrus]

When I first saw him, I know that he is not my type (sorry). But I decided to make it a good one since we have met up and I had a good impression of him chatting online. Things turn bad just after a few conversation. Although he told me b4 that he is a quiet person but I never tot he it THAT quiet. I was trying to break the ice and keep the conversation rolling. However, it doesn't seem working as he is like in his own world, replying me closed ended short answer all the time. I believe communication is like a volley ball game, each player keeping the ball passing to each other. So I put a fail in the interpersonal and communication skills section in the "report card". During the whole met up, we talked less than 20 sentences.

After that is the dinning test which he failed badly. I still remember we went to the xing wang hk cafe to have our dinner. Our table is a long-benches-4to6-persons table. I took a seat on the outermost of the bench (the other side is against the wall) so that the waitress can easily hear me. he come in and sit at the corner which is diagonally to me. what is worse was that he kept looking at his food while talking to me! We were just like 2 strangers sharing a table in the hawker center!

I can't stand it in the end and told him that I want to go home early. He told me in the sms that he was shy. OMFG! he is 5 years older than me.

That's my exp, now where is yours?

Throw it out, gals. I know you want to curse and swear that guy who wasted your time + money, given the opportunity cost that you could have get more guys somewhere else. *BAD INVESTMENT*

Sounds like you had quite an expectation to whom you were meeting...Not really a date by my definition.

Could the other parties' reluctance to communicate be due to the fact he realized you were kindof disappointed by his appearance or even the fact that you are also 'not his type'?

If you don't like being judged, then you need to stop judging others...

[GachiMuchi]

I think one of my weirdest (not a bad) date, would have to be a sex date long time ago when I was in my mid 20s. After chatting with this guy online, I decided to meet him at his house for sex. (Yes. I did that, no surprises here).

We met and quickly proceed to his room for action. After taking off our clothes, we started kissing, he suddenly had a request, he says he would like to see me do my gym exercise with a set of dumbbells. I thought that was a weird request half way through sex. Even though I find the request weird, I did as told. So, here I was standing naked and doing alternate curl lifts with a set a dumbbells and there is this guy kneeling before me giving me a blow job. To me, I though it was a comically funny scene.

Well, pardon me, back then, I was still very green and role play was still a new concept to me. Then I remembered that such scene are scenes you only get to watch in pxxn. So after a few more round of weights, we finally proceed back to the room. As I was fcuking him, this bottom as if on cue, was belting out moans and words like though we hear in the pxxn movies.

"yeh, baby, fcuked me harder"; "you are such a stud", etc.

At that time, I thought that it was pretty weird considering he was local and I felt that I was in some American pxxn movie. Anyway, weirdness aside, it was a good fcuk and the session ended on a high note. So, everyone's happy. After that then I realised that I just had my first role playing sex. Haha. So I learned something new that day. And of course, when you had a good workout session, there would certainly be more sessions.

[cock brand]

Back then he was 27, I met him years ago and I can still remember it well. haha... guess I will never forget this date.

No one has any experience to share? I am sure you had have met some weird ppl.

The next one I want to share is quite funny - a day with a 60 years old ah pek. i was 19 back then.

Back then he was 27 and you mentioned earlier that he was 15 years older..............so you were only 12?

[reflection]

Back then he was 27 and you mentioned earlier that he was 15 years older..............so you were only 12?

Cock, you are a great detective ..... :thumb:

[thaiboyz]

My two weirdest encounters:

a) Many years ago, i intend to meet up this young guy whom i have chatted on-line. We exchanged our photos and i got his face pic w/o showing his body size. On the day of our meeting, i waited outside my gym while he was waiting at the other corner. I could hardly recognise him as he was such a skinny little fellow. Well, i didnt want to end our meeting basing on looks, so we proceed to a thai restaurant near-by for our dinner. Through out the dinner, he has been talking and talking, non-stop about his past, life styles...bla bla bla. Then at the end of our dinner, when the bills came, he kept quiet and pretend not to notice. I was too green then, and politely foot the bills. He complained too full and requested me to give him a lift to a MRT station nearest to his home. After the whole damn meeting, i felt like being taking advantage of, wondering was he so cheapo for free meals and ride home - a free loader ?

b) Happened to arrange to meet a guy from a chat room. We briefly introduced ourselves before proceed to a hotel for our fun. He complained about the room, bath room, Tv.....almost everything. Then he said he didnt wish to get fxxked that nite due to some personal reasons, refused to reveal wat were those reasons. Anyway, during our session, he allowed me to finger him and enjoyed my fingering. I did him with three fingers and he simply moaned like crazy. He requested me to go thru the act of fxxking him by spreading his legs and screamed "fxxked me harder!" but refused to let me penetrate. i found weird and funny while looking down at him.

Luckily, i dont have anymore of such encounters these days. :whistle:

[Guest no MBs]

I have met those who tend to sponge and take people for rides even on first meet up where they expect the other party to pamper them and pay for everything. When I encounter such situations, I will usually cook up some excuses and leave and think that I am probably not their type and they were trying to fake some bad first impressions to break it. But this apparently not so as they still have the cheek to contact me the next day and ask about when the next meeting will be.........

[CrazyBrain]

Sounds like you had quite an expectation to whom you were meeting...Not really a date by my definition.

Could the other parties' reluctance to communicate be due to the fact he realized you were kindof disappointed by his appearance or even the fact that you are also 'not his type'?

If you don't like being judged, then you need to stop judging others...

i do agree with Asyrus.

WE have no right to judge people who fail to meet our expectation. PPl are born to have weakness and they need to guide on what methods to be counter-attack the weakness.

Admit I was quite perfectionist when i was 2o years and end the dating games so fast rudely without sparing thought on that person. think about it, i had made the grave mistake and offend many ppl.

Think about it, did i really respect him even thought he is not my type. Come on, look at youself in the mirror and ascertain whether you are really 100% handsome guy in the world... if you are not, please dun embarrass yourself to be mocked by all of us. :whistle:

WE should give those ppl a chance to begin as friend as if you meeting up with best friends for movie and dinner. no harm trying making new friends...

TO me, i should not label weird date if thing happen unexpectedly during meet up... Remember dun expect anything come to you automatically. It take 2 hands to clap simultaneously..

if you have expectation to whom you are meeting, ultimately you will left in emptiness in future. No offense.

Raymond Lee

You two, don't just choose what you want to read and make assumption! :twisted:

First of all, by stating that he is not my type is not a judgement. It is the matter of fact he is not my type. it is a statement. It is also not an expectation, as I said it was a friendly meet up.

Secondly, I did say that I wanted to make the met up a good one since i have a good impression of him chatting online (This is a judgement!). My action says that I wanted to communicate more and hope for a happy meet up. This shows that there is possibility that we could be friends. My action also tells that I did not expect anything come to me automatically.

Thirdly, the report card thingy is a more humorous way of describing my feelings(pls get some humour). I agree that this is judgement and/or expectation. However, by thinking that he should not look at his food while talking to me and isolating himself from me the whole day when we are actually in a meet up, are unreasonable judgements and/or expectations? Please tell me that anyone of you are totally judgement and expectation free? I think I am only judging (by the way, judgement is not necessary bad) and/or expecting from the aspect of a civilized human being.

Fourthly, If he behaved as such because I am not his type. please direct your comment to him, not me. I did my best to be nice.

Lastly, please don't comment for the sake of commenting. what you two just did, were bad judgements.

*not offended but annoyed*

*My intention of this thread is to talk about your bad dating experience, not asking for a fight*

[CrazyBrain]

Back then he was 27 and you mentioned earlier that he was 15 years older..............so you were only 12?

tot i said 5 years older? got cock eye izzit?

[reflection]

I must say that I find no issues with CrazyBrain's confession from start of the thread. Let's face it, chatting online is just a start till the actual face2face meeting. If a person is not your type, it is just not your type. You may call it shallow because of external appearance but at least I would follow what CB did. Out of courtesy, we still proceeded with the meal and chat but if the other party felt that it's game over, and started to behave like a mute, the problem lies with the mute and not CB. It takes 2 hands to clap. CB is being diplomatic. He could have told that person off by saying on his face "You are not my type...Let's forget about the meal". Or worst still, hide at one corner and 'bio' the person first and escape later when he found the other party not his type.

Whoever who is daring to go for a date must be brave to accept rejection. I have been rejected several times...No issues

CB,

I like your confident way of telling the 2 of them

Reflection

- Dating is not for the frail-hearted

[Guest Clubber]

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT FIRST DATE

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When any one party is dissappointed with the look of another party at first sight. Whatever expectation from either is deemed meaningless. If I don't like a person at first sight, I don't mind him looking at his food while talking or sitting a distant away. Since I don't like him in the first place, I cannot impose him to do things I like. It has to be fair to him.

Likewise, I can easily tell whether a person likes me or not. If he doesn't like me (even though I may like him) I will be struggling for the meeting to end soonest possible so that I can go home to find another mate and start the trial and error again.

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MY DATING EXPERIENCES

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I have many first dates in my life and will randonly pick a few to mention here. I can say that people usually go for look and shapes before getting into chemistry and than financial issue on subsequent dates. The typicality of first date is everyone acted shyly and "decent". Thus you hardly get into meaningful or genuine conversations to warm up. When you like someone and suggested for another date with him (likewise for him), he will take out his appointment book as though he was pre-occupied with full list of schedules to meet and thus no date or time can be confirmed. And he never called after that....and I don't want to risk taking cold shoulder from him. We just had a simple cup of coffee at kopi tiam paid by him on this first date

Another date with a guy online was another frustrating incident. We met, and he doesn't appear to like me. To make matter worst, he nagged like my grandmother why I don't want to do this or that, and even gave suggestion that I should start changing myself and my lifestyle and why I can't be a TOP and preferred to be a bottom...etc and he prefer the whole disscussion focussed upon me while he kept himself secret. He paid for my drinks at Mcdonald while he ate his lunch there at the same time. I usually ate my meal first before going for every dates.

Another date thru Fridae ads was a guy slightly older than me. He was a strong and tough guy physically fit like a commando but have a soft heart. He does not have the look though but I can make do with it. During the coversation I was shocked to learn that he run away from home to become a monk in another country and how he suffered in the jungle and what's not before he return home to his family. He also mentioned that he is not a very organised person and his room is very messy...etc The whole two hours conversation were about himself and I felt left out. That doesn't really matter because I love guy to be talkative and chatty because the past few dates I had I was actually talking to walls. This guy was an exception. he warmed me up easily without me having to initiate the move. In the end I am fond of this guy but cannot entrust myself to love him since he has no goal and may run away to seek refuge again in the midst of our relationship? I treated him to Mcdonald during this first date.

Another frustrating date was a no date at all. I chatted with this guy online and he told me he was 54yo. We exchanged our number and he told me he has no handphone except pager and we decided to meet near a GV cinema downtown. On the way to meet him, We confirm the time again and he asked me to describe myself, what I wore and that he will keep a look out for me. Than he never turned up and he didn't reply when I paged. I felt cheated because he probably was there and found that I am not his type and left without meeting me and I don't even know where he was or how he looks like. I was being stood up for the first time in my entire dating life by an old man. :swear:

The last one but not the least. I met this guy in sgboy. We exchanged photo and he lured me out with his photo taken 20 years ago but when I saw him at the MRT station during the appointed date and time, he was a totally different person in shapes and look that I cannot quite recognise from the pic he send. I can only figure him by what he wore and the color of the bags he described. It is like a family of a victim in fire accident trying to recognise the victim thru some form of items on the body or thru DNA test. Thus I ran away before he could spot me but I kept receving non-stop sms from him that he was dissappointed with me and felt hurt. Under such circumstances, I do not know who cheated who in the first place.

The final verdict, I resorted to clubbing. There I can find all the men I want and enjoy the intimacy that I crave with no string attached. Hoping that my future soulmate are found in the dark maze and not thru online chat or advertisment. :thumb:

[Asyrus]

First of all, by stating that he is not my type is not a judgement. It is the matter of fact he is not my type. it is a statement. It is also not an expectation, as I said it was a friendly meet up.

What I understand is from what you mentioned here is that Calvin not being 'your type' didn't help with you dealing with his inadequacies infront of you. 'welcome to 'web persona' vs 'reality persona'

Secondly, I did say that I wanted to make the met up a good one since i have a good impression of him chatting online (This is a judgement!). My action says that I wanted to communicate more and hope for a happy meet up. This shows that there is possibility that we could be friends. My action also tells that I did not expect anything come to me automatically.

I believe thats why Calvin agreed to meet up with you too...

Thirdly, the report card thingy is a more humorous way of describing my feelings(pls get some humour). I agree that this is judgement and/or expectation. However, by thinking that he should not look at his food while talking to me and isolating himself from me the whole day when we are actually in a meet up, are unreasonable judgements and/or expectations? Please tell me that anyone of you are totally judgement and expectation free? I think I am only judging (by the way, judgement is not necessary bad) and/or expecting from the aspect of a civilized human being.

Fourthly, If he behaved as such because I am not his type. please direct your comment to him, not me. I did my best to be nice.

I think my sense of humor is quite healthy but what you are describing is someone who is feeling inadequate; which is what led me to believe that his poor comm. skills maybe an indicator he withdrew because of the reasons I mentioned.

Could the other parties\' reluctance to communicate be due to the fact he realized you were kindof disappointed by his appearance or even the fact that you are also \'not his type\'?

My comments on your posting was to suggest empathy for Calvin. If he is truely as what you quoted as \'shy\', then it would not be prudent to present your experience with \'dark\' humor.

*My intention of this thread is to talk about your bad dating experience, not asking for a fight*

If you are not asking for a fight, I would think you would refrain from statements like the following:-

You two, don\'t just choose what you want to read and make assumption! :twisted:

Lastly, please don\'t comment for the sake of commenting. what you two just did, were bad judgements.

Crazy brain...you are a seasoned blogger...surely you know what happens when you use this kindof tones...

If you don\'t like being judged, then you need to stop judging others...

is based on the following : -

I can\'t stand it in the end and told him that I want to go home early. He told me in the sms that he was shy. OMFG! he is 5 years older than me.

Edited February 11, 2009 by Asyrus

[CrazyBrain]

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT FIRST DATE

----------------------------------------

When any one party is dissappointed with the look of another party at first sight. Whatever expectation from either is deemed meaningless. If I don't like a person at first sight, I don't mind him looking at his food while talking or sitting a distant away. Since I don't like him in the first place, I cannot impose him to do things I like. It has to be fair to him.

.

.

.

.

pat* pat* you really have met all sort of weird ppl. especially the run-away. I kind of know why you were attracted to him. hehehe.. he just make your imagination goes wild... your brain goes crazy

[CrazyBrain]

I have many Taiwanese friends and I think such scenario is possible. Like the Japanese, there are such people call Otaku (宅男） which means Stay Home guys. So it seems, that guy may chat well with you online, but when he meet face-to-face, he may have problems in "communicating" with you. Haha, maybe you looked very intimidating to him. So how old is he? 30?

What exactly is a Otaku?

[GachiMuchi]

move ur mouse to point at the word Otaku which is underlined.

[Asyrus]

I must say that I find no issues with CrazyBrain's confession from start of the thread. Let's face it, chatting online is just a start till the actual face2face meeting. If a person is not your type, it is just not your type. You may call it shallow because of external appearance but at least I would follow what CB did. Out of courtesy, we still proceeded with the meal and chat but if the other party felt that it's game over, and started to behave like a mute, the problem lies with the mute and not CB. It takes 2 hands to clap. CB is being diplomatic. He could have told that person off by saying on his face "You are not my type...Let's forget about the meal". Or worst still, hide at one corner and 'bio' the person first and escape later when he found the other party not his type.

Whoever who is daring to go for a date must be brave to accept rejection. I have been rejected several times...No issues

CB,

I like your confident way of telling the 2 of them

Reflection

- Dating is not for the frail-hearted

Honey, thats the reason why we go watch movies on a blind date...so we dun have to face each other so awkwardly all the time ah-ma... :smokin:

Advise when going on a date with someone you have not met before is to meet a group..so that it will be less awkward...

If not possible, find something neutral to do so that you dun have to deal with the 'chaik pah bueh?' (Chn 吃包没? Eng 'Have you eaten?') questions

Go shoppin or somethin - the more you sit there and stare at each other...the more you gonna wanna dig your claws into each other's face... :twisted:

The secret is to find that special interest. One example was this Japanese guy who was quiet as a mouse throughout most part of dinner and I was almost certain it was an online friendship to be, but when I brought up the topic of watches (seeing that he had a nice Swiss Longines watch on). Immediately he lighted up and was more relaxed, and began talking. Through him, I found out that there was a thriving 2nd hand watch industry in Japan (the likes of Beverly Hills stores). We visited quite a few of these stores over the next few days in different towns and had great food adventures.

Like I said...good job...

Edited February 11, 2009 by Asyrus

[Guest pacificocean]

At least you felt that you were in some American pxxn movie.

Mine was more like a 3rd rated Hong Kong XXX pxxn movie with bad scripting.

For example, 'I will give you all my liquid protein', 'I am suffering' , 'so comfortable' - in Cantonese. Sigh........

I think one of my weirdest (not a bad) date, would have to be a sex date long time ago when I was in my mid 20s. After chatting with this guy online, I decided to meet him at his house for sex. (Yes. I did that, no surprises here).

We met and quickly proceed to his room for action. After taking off our clothes, we started kissing, he suddenly had a request, he says he would like to see me do my gym exercise with a set of dumbbells. I thought that was a weird request half way through sex. Even though I find the request weird, I did as told. So, here I was standing naked and doing alternate curl lifts with a set a dumbbells and there is this guy kneeling before me giving me a blow job. To me, I though it was a comically funny scene.

Well, pardon me, back then, I was still very green and role play was still a new concept to me. Then I remembered that such scene are scenes you only get to watch in pxxn. So after a few more round of weights, we finally proceed back to the room. As I was fcuking him, this bottom as if on cue, was belting out moans and words like though we hear in the pxxn movies.

"yeh, baby, fcuked me harder"; "you are such a stud", etc.

At that time, I thought that it was pretty weird considering he was local and I felt that I was in some American pxxn movie. Anyway, weirdness aside, it was a good fcuk and the session ended on a high note. So, everyone's happy. After that then I realised that I just had my first role playing sex. Haha. So I learned something new that day. And of course, when you had a good workout session, there would certainly be more sessions.

[CrazyBrain]

reply to pacificocean:

That is so funny! hahaha.... can you elaborate more?

I wonder under what situation did he use "I'm suffering" LOL

Edited February 11, 2009 by CrazyBrain

[CrazyBrain]

What I understand is from what you mentioned here is that Calvin not being 'your type' didn't help with you dealing with his inadequacies infront of you. 'welcome to 'web persona' vs 'reality persona'

I believe thats why Calvin agreed to meet up with you too...

.

.

.

sorry I still don't quite get your argument.

Should you have any more comments, open a thread in the flamming room. You will have my reply there.

For now, get back to the objective of this thread. Thanks

Edited February 11, 2009 by CrazyBrain

[Asyrus]

sorry I still don't quite get your argument.

Should you have any more comments, open a thread in the flamming room. You will have my reply there.

For now, get back to the objective of this thread. Thanks

Neh...on 2nd thoughts....dun think it'll be worth the effort...

forget it...

have fun...

Edited February 11, 2009 by Asyrus

[Guest Guest]

Reading through one of the tread regarding money and dating. It seems that many of us has had bad dating experience. Hence I started this tread to gossip about your bad dates.

\

\

\

Throw it out, gals. I know you want to curse and swear that guy who wasted your time + money, given the opportunity cost that you could have get more guys somewhere else. *BAD INVESTMENT*

Some ppl are shy...they take longer to break the ice, once the ice is broken, u may like him.....maybe u are more 'bitchy' ...

[Stoner79]

This is what i call... time wasting. he is not your type.... and judging from his reaction.... obviously he is not that into you too... so.... why waste time to go dinner?

the rules to match making:

1) if he is your type, invite him to dinner/lunch, even if he is not into you, at least you still get to have dinner/lunch with him.

2) If he is not that bad, but is not your type, and suspect he is into you, suggest for coffee....cannot get along, can quickily finish the coffee and get out of there.

3) you dun like him at all or neither is each other type, just find a reason to get out of the situation. He will know, but dun think he rather be stuck there too.

sometimes, shy people are adorable.... but then if he is THAT shy, dun think it will go far anyway....so dun waste time.

Edited February 11, 2009 by Stoner79

[CrazyBrain]

Some ppl are shy...they take longer to break the ice, once the ice is broken, u may like him.....maybe u are more 'bitchy' ...

aiyo.... really dunno how to explain to you all. I will start another thread to explain. k?

This is what i call... time wasting. he is not your type.... and judging from his reaction.... obviously he is not that into you too... so.... why waste time to go dinner?

the rules to match making:

1) if he is your type, invite him to dinner/lunch, even if he is not into you, at least you still get to have dinner/lunch with him.

2) If he is not that bad, but is not your type, and suspect he is into you, suggest for coffee....cannot get along, can quickily finish the coffee and get out of there.

3) you dun like him at all or neither is each other type, just find a reason to get out of the situation. He will know, but dun think he rather be stuck there too.

sometimes, shy people are adorable.... but then if he is THAT shy, dun think it will go far anyway....so dun waste time.

I do agree with you to a extend. but not to realistic. It very depends on what you are expecting.

So... so few ppl have bad encounter huh? Guess everyone get good date everyday

[castaway]

My first meet up (not date) ...

It was my first time to meet up with someone through internet. He is German guy who travelled to Singapore for xmas and we planned to meet up in a cafe. Because it was my first time meeting someone like this so I did not know how to behave as well, then I invited him a coffee then brought him around Singapore the whole afternoon.

I was tired of walking and just want to go back his hotel or my home to relax :yuk: but I did not dare to say about it. After walking the whole afternoon, we were both hungry and decided to go to a JP restaurant for dinner. It was fine, he was a quiet guy so I had to be the one to keep conversation. After dinner, I asked him if he wanted to go to bar/club, he said yes then we went to Tantric for a drink ...

After few drinks at bar, it was quite empty so we left ... but where we should go to next ??? (in my mind, I just want to go his hotel and had sex but I did not dare to say it) so I asked him, he said He did not know. I asked him again what did he want to do ? Then he did not say anything ... so I asked him if he wanted to go to another club or his hotel ... to relax ... but he still did not say anything, .... the whole after noon and evening, I was always the one asking him what he wanted to do, I was so sick of it ...

Finally and Suddently I felt fed up and said I was very tired and wanted to go home then we walked to the MRT which is near his hotel also.

At MRT, I said goodbye and he asked me if we could meet again, I said yes whenever you are free :oops: ... while sitting in the MRT train, he sent me a sms to say thank you blah blah ... and asked why I did not go to his hotel together ? I replied I did want but he never invited me and I already asked him but he did not say anything ... he said he was shy ... so I thought whatever ... shy does not mean keeping so quiet in such questions, my face is not so thick to keep asking him of going to his hotel .... anyway, I was in MRT train to home already ...

The second meet up, this time was much better because I understood that he was very shy so it was fine, we were more open ... then finally we had sex, ... but the last funny thing is that in next morning, when we woke up, he said he wanted to go to city centre for a cup of tea (he did not ask me if I would like to go with as I always asked him) so I thought we would go to MRT then go to the tea shop. But when walking to a place, he turned left and I turned right then ... I thought he did not want me to go, and he thought I did not want to join as well ... so I was a little sad and he was surprised but both of us did not say anything, just good bye ... then next day, he sms me again and asked why i did not go to tea shop with him. I told him that first, he did not invite me then I thought he did not want me to join, the second is why he turned to another direction ... but then he said he thought I will turn left with him and go to tea shop but I did turned right ... so it was full of misunderstanding ... both of us ...

Now, we still keep contact. For me, it was very funny because he was too shy and quiet White guy which sometimes can make people (me) misunderstand him. He told me that I was so patient because many other guys left him from first few messages and first meet up ...

CrazyBrain's guy remind me of this guy so I would like to share my experience.

======================

Sometimes, the greatest journey is the distance between two people

[abang]

I have 2 bad meet-ups last week.

On Tuesday, I met up with a guy whom I had corresponded over the past week. I was looking for a travelling partner to China in late May and he wanted to accompany me. We arranged to meet up in Plaza Singapura for lunch. Well he turned out to be very different from what he told me.. not only was he short and small, he had that particular 'sheepish' face which I dislike! We walked to the Kopitiam and I asked him what he wanted and he told me, he is not interested in eating.... My first reaction was to tell him (point-blank) that he is not suitable as a travelling mate.

On Thursday, I finally agreed to meet up with this guy whom had tried to date me for the past few weeks. I thought the picture posted on his web-profile cannot be too different from the person but boy, was I disappointed. Being 48 soon, I could not believe the person in front of me was younger. Man, he looked 56 instead of 46. He had more lines than the MRT system! I tried to be civil and had a cup of lousy coffee and MacDonalds but ended the conversation ASAP.

I erase both their numbers on the way home.

Guys, just be yourself... be it gregarious or otherwise, just be yourself.

[taxme7]

I suggest next time you can 'meet' the person in webcam first. This way you will have less surprises.

Pictures can be very deceiving. Some guys look very 'big and muscular' in pictures but sometimes turned out to be 'not up to your expectations'.

[reflection]

I have 2 bad meet-ups last week.

...... Well he turned out to be very different from what he told me.. not only was he short and small, he had that particular 'sheepish' face which I dislike!

.....I thought the picture posted on his web-profile cannot be too different from the person but boy, was I disappointed. Being 48 soon, I could not believe the person in front of me was younger. Man, he looked 56 instead of 46. He had more lines than the MRT system! ......

This reminded me of my previous dating too...... The moral of dating : Dont judge a person by its photo because it can be misleading (old photo, photoshopped, wrong angle, etc) and personal description (some can be egoistic or blind to overdescribe themselves).

Even webcam can be distorted sometimes for reply to taxme7

That is why face2face dating is the most reliable way to activate our pheromones. During face2face, we can assess look, behaviour, speech, communication skills, etc. Someone can be very gorgeous but if he is feminine or unable to carry a conversation, it just fails the whole dating. Yet for others, as long as there is dick and ass, nothing fails.

A pheromone is a chemical that triggers a natural behavioral response in another member of the same species. For more info read Pheromones

Gosh! Did I use pheromone as a scape goat for all the drama in dating ? God knows

Edited February 12, 2009 by reflection

[CrazyBrain]

My first meet up (not date) ...

It was my first time to meet up with someone through internet. He is German guy who travelled to Singapore for xmas and we planned to meet up in a cafe. Because it was my first time meeting someone like this so I did not know how to behave as well, then I invited him a coffee then brought him around Singapore the whole afternoon.

.

.

.

CrazyBrain's guy remind me of this guy so I would like to share my experience.

======================

Sometimes, the greatest journey is the distance between two people

Hey, thanks for sharing your story. I can imagine how lovely it was.

Think there is one major difference between our scenario, is that you are fond of him and wanted to get him on bed but I didn't. haha...

Of course, that explain why i am relatively impatient than you? May be, if we can communicate happily, I will want to get him on my bed. hehehe...

After thinking this over and over again, I think it comes to the question of how one value shyness. In my case, I do not very much appreciate his shyness given the fact that he is much older than me and believing that one should be able to articulate himself well. Of course there are many variable affecting one valuing shyness, for example the liking of one towards the subject.

Your dating exp is obviously a good one than a bad one.

###########################################

Now I want to share my meet up with this 60 yrs old man. hehe.. it was a funny exp. I was 19.

I think I got to know him from irc. We chatted many times over the phone. He is a nice person and I had a good time chatting with him. So we proceed to a meet up.

When I saw him, I got very shocked because I found out that he was 60 years old! He is older than my mom! hahaha.. then i realize that I never ask for his age. Again, I wanted to make it a good one. Indeed we have a good day. We chatted lot things and share many experience. I got know that he is a marine engineer who go out to the sea for at least 6 months at one time to build undersea internet cable cut across oceans. I still remember how amaze I was listening to his story.

This is another exp which I will never forget. I always tell my friend about this whenever we touch on related topic. "hey, I have dated a 60 yrs old ah pek b4 hor". Everyone will stare at me and laugh once they find out what happened. Some of my friends refer me as prostitute as I take whatever comes. hahaha... guess I am just too shy to reject ppl (back then not now. LOL)

[Guest pacificocean]

It was someone I met/used to date and he is a Thai Chinese uncle who speaks Cantonese (quite rare coz most common dialect is Teochew in Thailand). Needless to say, the 1st date was also the last.

Those were during intimate moments. I will try my best to translate it in Cantonese.

"I am suffering" means " wo ho sun foo" coz 'his volcano' is about to explode.

Yes, another interesting pharse he used is "eat my raisin" which means "jui wo ga nine".

Sigh..... again

reply to pacificocean:

That is so funny! hahaha.... can you elaborate more?

I wonder under what situation did he use "I'm suffering" LOL

[Somebody Out There]

Just want to share a very bad 1st meetup experience that turned almost... beautiful.

Chatted up with somebody I managed to get msn contact from Trevvy and we finally decided to meet up. Upon meeting up, he looked slightly different from the one and only pic I saw of him, but still presentable and not too bad. We went to eat Yoshinoya at Cineleisure (when Yoshinoya was still there) and it turned out quite bad.

He was so hard to break the ice with and I constantly had to be the one trying to make conversations, which I hated so and I didn't feel any vibe from him, so I presumed he wasn't interested in anything and I wanted to get it done and over with.

I had my own program then so I was able to excuse myself after the meal without lying and we parted.

Eventually when I reached home and saw him online, I felt rather guilty about having done that to him, especially when I didn't immediately decide that he wasn't my type, just annoyed that he was either hard to break the ice with or that he wasn't interested. Nevertheless, I chatted with him on msn and I got to know him better.

I actually arranged to meet again and I started to like him better, even though he still wasn't that much a conversationalist.

We had fun on our 3rd meeting and things were going on well rather well between us until he got freaked out by me when I said I was falling in love with him, haha! Things turned out rather bad from then on but that's another story I don't wish to share.

My point here is, at least he and I did not run away from each other despite probably not liking what we 1st saw and encounter during our 1st meeting. Like what somebody here said before, it can be easy to sense that you are not the other party's type, but at least the other party should be gentleman about it and not play the meeting out. Even if you really do not want that meeting after seeing the person and staying around that person a second longer will cause you to die of awkwardness, be a man and just admit that he is not your type and that both of you should part ways instead of fleeing as if you've seen a leper and leaving the guy stranded and wondering where and who you are.

[beef4beef]

At least you felt that you were in some American pxxn movie.

Mine was more like a 3rd rated Hong Kong XXX pxxn movie with bad scripting.

For example, 'I will give you all my liquid protein', 'I am suffering' , 'so comfortable' - in Cantonese. Sigh........

Now that's really funny! Hahaha!

Gosh, it would have killed the moment instantly for me, I'd break out laughing for sure!!!

[Guest Bitch]

The secret of Dating:

When love at first sight, do not delay in having sex. Ask for sex within a week after your first meeting. Breaking ice through talking will not melt the whole ice. Only sex can cut an iceberg and boil the ocean thru feeling him, smelling him and tasting every part of him, leaving no private area unexplored. When two naked persons are fully exposed in bed, there is no such thing called shy, reserve and pretentious. All necessary gaps are filled through sex and whenl hell and heaven break loose in bed, it is easier to tighten the love knot and make subsequent meeting warmer, easier, smoother because he is no longer a stranger to me after sex.

My first date with my present husband was when both of us first me thru sgboy ads, we were reserve, acting decent, and engaged in uninteresting conversation as though we were trying to hide our flaws. Not willing to explore each other weakness, afraid of hurting him, trying to show respect...etc All these self consciousnees barred our chemistry and blocked our comfort. Terrible feelings.

Fortunately, on our 2nd date within a week, we went for a movie and dinner. As usual, boring conversations and not getting any further than that. When I thought he drove me home, we ended up in hotel 81 all prepared by him - booking, condoms, ky, he paid for everything and promised to send me home after midnight.

We showered together, cleaning each other, talking in the process and than we went to bed immediately. There was a little role play, me the wifey...and did most of the talking whereas he noded with every smile, full of understanding and knowing about my desires. I will not elaborate further on this except that when we were done, we lied in bed enjoying the precious night together and silence speaks louder than words can ever describe our feeling for each other. It was a totally different moods and consensus in feeling for each other, showing our full blown needs. Lust was real as compared to just conversations we had before sex.

So sparks, the 3rd and 4th date and subequent relationship grows even stronger with every sex we did in Hotel, inside cinema, swimming pool, stadiums....etc until I decided to get a home and there....our relationship sustained even stronger being me the wife and he my husband until now. Sex is good, so don't just talk and talks. That is why he called me BITCHy everytime I started to nag. As compared to the first time we met, the world has changed drastically because I know all his strength and weakness withing my fingertips and likewise for him, I acted like his mother.

[Freedom711]

Back then he was 27 and you mentioned earlier that he was 15 years older..............so you were only 12?

thought he said 5 yrs older? haha