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Understanding and Respecting Sexual Roles: Top, Flex Top, Flex, Bottom, Flex Bottom, and Side


Eddie Adrika

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Hi everyone,

 

I wanted to open a discussion about the different sexual roles within the LGBTQ+ community, specifically focusing on terms like top, bottom, versatile, flex top, flex bottom, and side. Understanding these roles can help us communicate better and respect each other’s preferences.

 

Top: This refers to someone who prefers to be the insertive partner during sexual activities. They often take a more dominant role.

 

Flex Top: A “flex top” is someone who primarily prefers to be the insertive partner but is also open to being versatile, meaning they can switch roles if desired.

 

Flex: This term is short for “versatile” and refers to someone who enjoys both being the insertive partner (top) and the receptive partner (bottom) during sexual activities. They are flexible and comfortable in either role.

 

Bottom: This refers to someone who prefers to be the receptive partner during sexual activities. They often take a more submissive role.

 

Flex Bottom: A “flex bottom” is someone who primarily prefers to be the receptive partner but is also open to being versatile, meaning they can switch roles if desired.

 

Side: A “side” refers to someone who does not engage in anal sex but still enjoys other forms of sexual activity, such as oral sex, mutual masturbation, and other non-penetrative acts. This term was popularized to provide a label for those who don’t fit into the traditional “top” or “bottom” roles. The concept of being a “side” helps to acknowledge and validate the diverse ways people can experience and enjoy intimacy without the need for penetration. It emphasizes that there are many ways to have fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationships.

 

These terms help people communicate their preferences and comfort levels in relationships and sexual activities. Let’s share our thoughts and experiences to foster a more inclusive and understanding community!

Edited by Eddie Adrika
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21 minutes ago, egal said:

what do u call side but without oral

It’s clearly stated here…

 

Side: A “side” refers to someone who does not engage in anal sex but still enjoys other forms of sexual activity, such as oral sex, mutual masturbation, and other non-penetrative acts. This term was popularized to provide a label for those who don’t fit into the traditional “top” or “bottom” roles. The concept of being a “side” helps to acknowledge and validate the diverse ways people can experience and enjoy intimacy without the need for penetration. It emphasizes that there are many ways to have fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationships.

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24 minutes ago, egal said:

well the above stated oral is included

I understand the confusion. I know the definition of a ‘side’ includes oral sex, but I’m specifically referring to someone who doesn’t engage in anal or oral sex. They might enjoy other forms of intimacy like mutual masturbation or other non-penetrative acts. It’s just another way people can experience and enjoy intimacy.

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3 minutes ago, egal said:

i was just wondering there is a sub category of side

That’s an interesting question! While ‘side’ generally refers to someone who doesn’t engage in anal sex but enjoys other forms of intimacy, there aren’t widely recognized subcategories within this term. However, people might have their own preferences and boundaries within the ‘side’ category, so it’s always good to communicate and understand each other’s comfort levels.

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Keep it simple.

Top fxxk. Can be dominant or passive too. But doesn't mean everytime they wanna f.

Same for btm. Can be submissive or dominant.

Flex can do both ways, some more top some more btm.

For side, no anal. So among sides, some like oral, some don't.

Let's not complicate matters with sub-categories. If wanna know, just ask the person directly lor.

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Backside best side!

 

 

Joke aside (no pun intended), to me, it depends on my mood at that time and how my buddy is like.

 

I do enjoy bottoming but can't always bottom (eat spicy food or stomach upset or too rush & not enough time to clean, or just lazy to clean).

 

Sometimes my buddy gets me so horny that I want to top him (or he gets so horny and ask me to top him).

 

Sometimes I just want to cuddle, suck, kiss or other non-anal fun.

 

Side track (no pun intended), there are no official statistics, so here is my own approximation of the number of guys here in SG by position based on anyhow anyhow only:

 

Top: not enough

Bottom : alot

Vers top: uncommon

Vers bottom: uncommon

Side: alot alot (includes straight guys who just want to be serviced by other guys. Not into anal at all.)

Edited by cbm
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1 hour ago, cbm said:

Backside best side!

 

 

Joke aside (no pun intended), to me, it depends on my mood at that time and how my buddy is like.

 

I do enjoy bottoming but can't always bottom (eat spicy food or stomach upset or too rush & not enough time to clean, or just lazy to clean).

 

Sometimes my buddy gets me so horny that I want to top him (or he gets so horny and ask me to top him).

 

Sometimes I just want to cuddle, suck, kiss or other non-anal fun.

 

Side track (no pun intended), there are no official statistics, so here is my own approximation of the number of guys here in SG by position based on anyhow anyhow only:

 

Top: not enough

Bottom : alot

Vers top: uncommon

Vers bottom: uncommon

Side: alot alot (includes straight guys who just want to be serviced by other guys. Not into anal at all.)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It’s great to see open discussions about sexual roles and preferences. It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences and preferences are unique, and they can vary widely based on personal circumstances, mood, and partner dynamics.

 

Understanding and respecting these roles—whether someone identifies as a top, bottom, vers top, vers bottom, or side—is crucial for fostering a supportive and inclusive community. Communication and consent are key in any sexual relationship, and it’s always good to check in with your partner about their preferences and boundaries.

 

Your observations about the distribution of roles in SG are interesting! While there might not be official statistics, it’s clear that there’s a diverse range of preferences out there. Embracing this diversity helps us all feel more accepted and understood.

 

Let’s keep the conversation going and continue to support each other in exploring and expressing our sexual identities.

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For me just go wherever u feels like to explore...I am not a systematic person where u have to follows that have been created haha I am more out the box person...meaning mix n match or created your own TERMS! Trust me they love enjoy it sooooo much! Haha

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35 minutes ago, MasterFitMalaySG4U said:

For me just go wherever u feels like to explore...I am not a systematic person where u have to follows that have been created haha I am more out the box person...meaning mix n match or created your own TERMS! Trust me they love enjoy it sooooo much! Haha

I love your adventurous spirit! It’s so refreshing to hear someone embrace creativity and spontaneity. Mixing and matching sounds like a lot of fun, and it’s great to know that people enjoy it so much. Thanks for the inspiration!

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23 hours ago, egal said:

i was just wondering there is a sub category of side

 

the word penetrative just for anal sex might be wrong as oral sex is also considered as penetrative.

Just not into the anus but into the mouth.

 

If you have any issue to express that you like no oral as a side, then probably you need to state

Side (but no oral).

 

The next sub question would be that you might be a Side but don't do oral but allow to be oralled.

There are also bottoms who don't like being sucked , also a few tops.

One Side might like being sucked another maybe not...

 

If we consider all sub groups, the 10 millions colours existing wouldn't be sufficient to categorise every sexual preference within the orientation group as gay...

 

 

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23 hours ago, Saggiboy said:

Keep it simple.

Top fxxk. Can be dominant or passive too. But doesn't mean everytime they wanna f.

Same for btm. Can be submissive or dominant.

Flex can do both ways, some more top some more btm.

For side, no anal. So among sides, some like oral, some don't.

Let's not complicate matters with sub-categories. If wanna know, just ask the person directly lor.

 

True there are a few bottoms who can be very dominant. sometimes to the point that the top loses interest in the fun. ...

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4 hours ago, singalion said:

 

the word penetrative just for anal sex might be wrong as oral sex is also considered as penetrative.

Just not into the anus but into the mouth.

 

If you have any issue to express that you like no oral as a side, then probably you need to state

Side (but no oral).

 

The next sub question would be that you might be a Side but don't do oral but allow to be oralled.

There are also bottoms who don't like being sucked , also a few tops.

One Side might like being sucked another maybe not...

 

If we consider all sub groups, the 10 millions colours existing wouldn't be sufficient to categorise every sexual preference within the orientation group as gay...

 

 

Hi everyone,

 

Thank you for your insightful comments and for expanding the discussion on sexual roles within the LGBTQ+ community. I appreciate the points raised about the term “penetrative” and how it can apply to both anal and oral sex. It’s important to recognize the nuances in our preferences and how we communicate them.

 

To address the subcategories of “side,” I agree that it’s helpful to specify preferences, such as “Side (but no oral)” or “Side (allows oral but doesn’t perform).” This clarity can help ensure that everyone feels understood and respected in their sexual relationships.

 

As for the diversity of preferences, it’s true that there are countless variations, and it’s challenging to categorize every individual preference. However, having these discussions helps us better understand and respect each other’s boundaries and desires.

 

Let’s continue to share our experiences and thoughts to foster a more inclusive and understanding community. Thank you all for your contributions!

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