Whst is the Protocol on this? Should I tip?

[Trinity]

Hi. I am been wondering about this for sometime. I have been to several massages where embarassingly the massuer topped me. This was done without my request and without him asking me if I wanted. Neither was there any request for tip in exchange for service. At the end. Sometimes they would hint. Other times, they won't. But never would they ask openly. Still i would leave them a tip at the end. My burning question is actually was it even necessary. 

 

Another noob question. Are those masseuers who indulge in such always top. If i didn't request. How would they known if I was top or btm or they just assume customers are auto btm??? 

[GachiMuchi]

21 hours ago, Trinity said:

Hi. I am been wondering about this for sometime. I have been to several massages where embarassingly the massuer topped me. This was done without my request and without him asking me if I wanted. Neither was there any request for tip in exchange for service. At the end. Sometimes they would hint. Other times, they won't. But never would they ask openly. Still i would leave them a tip at the end. My burning question is actually was it even necessary. 

 

Another noob question. Are those masseuers who indulge in such always top. If i didn't request. How would they known if I was top or btm or they just assume customers are auto btm??? 

 

There are no protocols. Usually they can tell if someone is bottom. Usually those bottom's butt will rise up when their butt is massaged or they would make moaning noises when they feel siok. Those are signals that bottoms will give out and that is exactly how the masseur can tell that you are bottom. Alternatively, when they massage you, they see the color and opening of your ass hole, if it looked brownish and opened and not pinkish and tight, they would also know.

 

So, the million dollar question here is, did you just lie on the bed like a dead fish or you wiggle, moan, and back side raised up when the maeesur massaged you near your ass?

 

As a masseur, they would had seen many dicks and asses, so I am sure, the masseur can tell. Even I am not a masseur, just by touching a bottom or a top's ass, one can also separate the bottoms from the tops.

 

 

 

 

Edited November 15 by GachiMuchi

[egal]

he did not do it for love

 

so pay up

[mephistopheles]

There are 3 issues here.

 

First, they hump you without express request or consent. This is called RAPE!  If you are OK with it, then ask for money. Dun get fucked for nothing (pun intended)!

 

Second, how can they tell you are bottom? They cant. Most of the masseurs, in particular Malaysians and Chinese, are straights. They only know how to fuck and nothing else and they imagine all gays are bottoms, so they are technically not engaged in anything 'gay' at all. Tops, in the same vein, never think of themselves as demeaningly 'gay', deeming only bottoms as truly gay! As for a raised butt signifying a desire to be bottomed, dat is a classic myth fantasized and perpetuated by the dogmatic ignorant. In truth, a raised ass is a natural reaction to accommodate a hard-on and it allows easier access to the erogenous anal zone, pleasurable even for tops.

 

Third, egal is spot on when he says masseurs are NOT doing it for love. They expect to be PAID for the EXTRA service. The express stipulated service is massage, fucking is clearly EXTRA. So protocol is Tip at least $150.

 

 

 

 

Edited November 15 by mephistopheles

[truthbetold]

Top and bottom are, of course, fossilised hetero version of sex. Gay sex and roles should be inspired and re-imagined as equal, no need for mandatory dominating or submissive roles. Unless freed from the shackles of hetero imposition, it will always be viewed as a deviant form of sex.

 

 

 

Edited November 15 by truthbetold

[skinnyduck]

21 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

Usually they can tell if someone is bottom. Usually those bottom's butt will rise up when their butt is massaged or they would make moaning noises when they feel siok. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What rot! Confusing contexts, in a dark room, when u lie down with your ass up, then you are indicating to whoever is interested dat you want to be fucked. When you are being massaged, you inevitably have to lie down with your butt up and having your butt massaged is many a pleasurable thing, for bottom or otherwise, so you tend to prop it up a bit to be kneaded better, how does dat indicate definitively you are bottom? Talking thru your ass!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Edited November 15 by skinnyduck

[Trinity]

7 hours ago, mephistopheles said:

There are 3 issues here.

 

First, they hump you without express request or consent. This is called RAPE!  If you are OK with it, then ask for money. Dun get fucked for nothing (pun intended)!

 

Second, how can they tell you are bottom? They cant. Most of the masseurs, in particular Malaysians and Chinese, are straights. They only know how to fuck and nothing else and they imagine all gays are bottoms, so they are technically not engaged in anything 'gay' at all. Tops, in the same vein, never think of themselves as demeaningly 'gay', deeming only bottoms as truly gay! As for a raised butt signifying a desire to be bottomed, dat is a classic myth fantasized and perpetuated by the dogmatic ignorant. In truth, a raised ass is a natural reaction to accommodate a hard-on and it allows easier access to the erogenous anal zone, pleasurable even for tops.

 

Third, egal is spot on when he says masseurs are NOT doing it for love. They expect to be PAID for the EXTRA service. The express stipulated service is massage, fucking is clearly EXTRA. So protocol is Tip at least $150.

 

 

 

 

To be fair. I didn't reuesr but I didn't object either.

Oops 150!!! I only gave 50. To my defence. If some1 said i top you for 150 tip. I would have said no thank you.

 

And sometimes i see them again n tip same amt. They didn't seem to give any attitide or any hint of unhappiness. 

 

Hence my confusion / ignorance

 

[mephistopheles]

1 hour ago, Trinity said:

To be fair. I didn't reuesr but I didn't object either.

Oops 150!!! I only gave 50. To my defence. If some1 said i top you for 150 tip. I would have said no thank you.

 

And sometimes i see them again n tip same amt. They didn't seem to give any attitide or any hint of unhappiness. 

 

Hence my confusion / ignorance

 

 

Again context, they hump you without asking, they should pay you for the privilege. If you ask them, then it's a different thing altogether! 

 

Of course, normally the masseurs wouldnt be so foolish as to hump people WITHOUT asking. All it takes is for someone to cry RAPE and dats it! It is also extremely DISRESPECTFUL to assume that people like to be fucked, especially when straights make such presumptions!

 

 

 

Edited November 15 by mephistopheles

[GachiMuchi]

5 hours ago, skinnyduck said:

 

What rot! Confusing contexts, in a dark room, when u lie down with your ass up, then you are indicating to whoever is interested dat you want to be fucked. When you are being massaged, you inevitably have to lie down with your butt up and having your butt massaged is many a pleasurable thing, for bottom or otherwise, so you tend to prop it up a bit to be kneaded better, how does dat indicate definitively you are bottom? Talking thru your ass!!!!!

 

 

I said, "Usually those bottom's butt will rise up when their butt is massaged or they would make moaning noises when they feel siok. "

1. I did not mention anything about dark room. A massage room is lit so it is not a dark room. Have you been to a real massage place before or are you referring to a gay sauna? 

2. you are offended that I mentioned that bottom will raise their ass when massage? Is there a need to be offended? Even if you are top who will always propped up your ass when you are enjoying a pleasurable butt massag, what I wrote is not directed at you. It's my observation.

 

Don't have to spew shit from your mouth, just because the comments don't fit what you like to read.

 

Who knows, you might be a closet bottom who is in denial. 

Edited November 15 by GachiMuchi

[skinnyduck]

14 minutes ago, GachiMuchi said:

 

I said, "Usually those bottom's butt will rise up when their butt is massaged or they would make moaning noises when they feel siok. "

1. I did not mention anything about dark room. A massage room is lit so it is not a dark room. Have you been to a real massage place before or are you referring to a gay sauna? 

2. you are offended that I mentioned that bottom will raise their ass when massage? Is there a need to be offended? Even if you are top who will always propped up your ass when you are enjoying a pleasurable butt massag, what I wrote is not directed at you. It's my observation.

 

Don't have to spew shit from your mouth, just because the comments don't fit what you like to read.

 

Who knows, you might be a closet bottom who is in denial. 

 

Who knows, you might be a closet idiot in denial and pretending to be a moderator! 

 

First, you are unable to read properly. The reference to a dark room is about when a raised butt is used to indicate a bottom is waiting to be fucked. Only in that context and NOT during a massage should one conclude it is a bottom expressing his desire.

 

Second, when am I offended by your clueless observation about bottoms raising their butts during a massage? I am only too ecstatic that the MODERATOR of this forum who proclaims himself to be GOD should make a complete fool of himself parroting and perpetuating lies about bottoms!

[jiananfengslutqueen]

On 11/14/2024 at 3:14 PM, Trinity said:

Hi. I am been wondering about this for sometime. I have been to several massages where embarassingly the massuer topped me. This was done without my request and without him asking me if I wanted. Neither was there any request for tip in exchange for service. At the end. Sometimes they would hint. Other times, they won't. But never would they ask openly. Still i would leave them a tip at the end. My burning question is actually was it even necessary. 

 

Another noob question. Are those masseuers who indulge in such always top. If i didn't request. How would they known if I was top or btm or they just assume customers are auto btm??? 

Wow, which massage shops you went to got this happenings. Msg me leh. Some more foc. 

[Trinity]

You mean they always ask and agree on tips for extras, first? Anyway i didn't it was foc. I certainly think it was not out of love but out of some expectation of monetary reciprocity. I am just confused whether obligatory and how much. As said in any case i leave a 50 as tip but some1 said its normally 150. Maybe now i am mistakened for being cheap or ignoramous of market practice. My bad. But truth be told I would never agree a 150 for a topping. So thats a moot point. 

14 hours ago, jiananfengslutqueen said:

Wow, which massage shops you went to got this happenings. Msg me leh. Some more foc. 

 

[Shootme]

first of all, if you are not interested, why did you not resist it when the masseur was about to penetrate you? and reject it during the midst of masseur actions?  shouldn’t there be a feeling of something about to enter you? if someone is about to enter me without permission, I’m pretty sure the first instinct is to reject or i will “kiap” my hole tighter and voice out, to indicate no interest to be penetrate especially when the masseur is grinding and testing if your a bottom during the massage. been that done that, since most masseur always tries that on me while I’m lying face down, but I’m a top. your body bound to fill something when the penetration is about to take place.

 

second, I do understand the body reaction when someone touches your crotch region during massage when lying face down. it is a normal reaction regardless whether your a bottom or top when you raise your butt up in event when the masseur is teasing your crotch region. it is more for easy access for the masseur to tease. unsure why some individual suggests raising butt up is a bottom action. 
 

third, your body reaction especially before and after he penetrates you, was probably what made the masseur continue his actions since there was no objection. 
 

from your limited narrative, it sounded more like a remorse sex to me.

 

on the tips part, unsure which massage establishment you went, but if you in Malaysia, I understand the masseur tips are probably already included in the up-front fees if you opted for full services. additional tips which people will usually give are more on goodwill basis. but there are masseur that will generally negotiate for more tips if they want to get more money from you. I know if the masseur really likes you, they will just give you the services without asking for extra tips.

 

In Thailand, for such massage establishment, the papasan would have told you the quotation for the massage fees and masseur fee, which are quoted and paid separately.

 

In Singapore, my understand is that certain percentage of the massage fee you paid for the services will be split between the boss and the masseur. tips is given out of goodwill.

 

in general customer will give tips at their discretionary as masseur usually relies more on those additional tips. unsure about the market rate but I usually goes back to my favourites.

 

tips with escort services are generally already agreed upon before engagement.

 

 

Edited Sunday at 12:16 AM by Shootme

[Dreamaway]

Rule of thumb: fee is for massage. Tip for everything else. 

[Trinity]

Just to clarify. I never said I didn't like it. I said i went without any expectation other than a good massage and maybe abit of fun but not the whole 9 yards. That it went that way without resistance is credit to his skills in 'coaxing'. So there is no remorse sex. 

 

Its like i said. A question of tipping n how much. I recognise these guys split the massage fee with the establishment with them not getting alot back. So my personal practice was is tip if massage is good. Regardless of any specials. Which means I probably don't pay the full fare for whole 9 yards if i didn't request and he didn't specify upfront. But give something i definitely would. So its interesting to hear some tots from this forum. And i thank ypu for your candid views.

 

That said they are taking some risks in that the customer could end up giving none since none was pre agreed or worse still, get complained to the mgt. 

 

But if its a homebased where he is the boss. Then i feel there is no need to tip regardless of service. There is a difference btw an employee and the boss. 

 

 

[T Gunner]

1 hour ago, Trinity said:

. A question of tipping n how much

Tipping to me is respecting their profession. Some may upfront let you know how much they charge but many will not touch on this topic, but they will still offer if they are comfortable with you. Even though they did not request for tips but it will be nice to tip regardless since is a win-win situation. And by doing so, they will appreciate you and treat you even nicer.
 

And not all masseurs are greedy too… I tipped my previous masseur $150 and $500 once but he opened my duffle bag and returned me $50 and $400 respectively, and said $100 is enough 🙂 even told me off “你不要乱花钱” but as a friend.

 

So how much… maybe between $50 to $100 is sufficient. $50 if you think minimum efforts and $100 maximum efforts 😅 but if you feel like giving more is up to you. 

 

Tips: if a masseur asked for high tips before it start… it meant he probably not interested to provide hence hope the high price will deter you away. 
 

Lastly, don’t be a ass**** not to pay when agreed. The masseurs do encountered people like these every now and then and these are just scumbag. 

 

 

[frauduster]

8 hours ago, Shootme said:

unsure why some individual suggests raising butt up is a bottom action.

 

Hegemony of tops! They, in a stereotypical dogmatic way, imagine tops rule the world and they can spot a bottom a mile away and true gays are only the bottoms and they are merely men having sex with men as a more accessible substitute for women.

 

There used to be a Tops Bar and a Bottoms Bar at Tanjong Pagar. The Tops Bar had a hair salon with a massage parlour above it, with the intention of providing a comprehensive service centre under one establishment. Anson, Eugene's sidekick at His Cherie, started out there. Guess what, Tops Bar had absolutely no business, whereas Bottoms Bar in stark contrast had booming business juz down the road. So much for tops ruling the gay world, they cant even keep a bar up (pun intended)!

 

 

 

Edited Sunday at 08:52 AM by frauduster

[frauduster]

On 11/17/2024 at 3:56 PM, T Gunner said:

Tipping to me is respecting their profession.

 

Tipping is a MISNOMER. This issue has be discussed ad nauseam but people choose not to understand it properly.

 

First, if there are NO extra services then anything more than the stipulated charge is indeed a tip. But if there are EXTRA services, then the tip is merely a euphemism for SURCHARGE. Why cant they be transparent and specify them according to the extra services provided? Because such extra services are understandably ILLEGAL and therefore can neither be offered nor specified explicitly. (Manhood therapy is often used to signify that some such service is available at a specific charge.) So everything has to remain IMPLICIT and this gives certain people shameless opportunity to take advantage of the grey situation by declaring that since it is considered a tip, then the amount of tip is totally voluntary, if at all.

 

Second, the remuneration of masseurs at gay establishments is LOWER than those at straight establishments (30-40% against 50%) because there is a tacit understanding that more opportunities are available for "extra" income in gay places. So, in a sense, masseurs in gay spas are compelled to offer such services on the sly to make ends meet, much to the glee of the customer and the boss.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited Monday at 11:33 PM by frauduster

[greysnow]

I agree that anything additional besides the masseur should be tipped. Especially if you did not reject the additional services.

 

However, how much you tip the masseur depends on your relationship with him. It can be a token of appreciation or it is really a job well done so you want to reward him.

 

I ever encountered this masseur who got quite comfortable with me after several sessions. I treated him more like a friend and sometimes bring him out for meals and drinks. Then one day, he asked if I could loan him $X amount. I asked if he was in any trouble and he just said he needed money - I only need to tell him yes or no.

 

I knew if there is going to be a first, definitely there will be subsequent loans. Instead, I told him I can provide him half of the amount - with no intentions of getting it back. He rejected my offer and eventually, he texted me that he will not provide additional services for me. 😆

 

 

[frauduster]

I suggest we STOP calling it a tip when, in fact, it is NOT!!

[truthbetold]

People like to think of it as a tip because it makes them feel magnanimous and BIG-HEARTED. Furthermore, most dun like to think they have to pay for sex, they wd rather fantasize that the masseur cant keep his hands off them and they, in turn, get to show off their generosity.

 

Of course, one's so-called "kindness" is often perceived as weakness, hence attempts to borrow/obtain money under pretext of hardship are not uncommon. Someone once even gifted a gambling masseur RMB200 000 to 回国 and stop gambling, only to have the masseur return a few months later after depleting everything!

 

 

 

 

Edited Monday at 07:56 AM by truthbetold

[iKneadyou]

lol

[Greenie]

Are you all like rich or what?

More than $50 for a tip for something you did not ask for/suggested seems excessive already.

 

I would see $50 as a one day salary, if one session the masseur try their luck to be naughty to be tipped and it worked, they are actually earning a lot, way more than healthcare workers who are working their butt off.

 

edit: not just working their butt off, but also studied the hardest subject and getting paid shit for it.

Edited Monday at 03:57 PM by Greenie
clarify

[rudeboiz]

1 hour ago, Greenie said:

Are you all like rich or what?

More than $50 for a tip for something you did not ask for/suggested seems excessive already.

 

I would see $50 as a one day salary, if one session the masseur try their luck to be naughty to be tipped and it worked, they are actually earning a lot, way more than healthcare workers who are working their butt off.

 

Indeed, the original Sky of ABS was reputed to earn at least $10k a month. What is worse, do you honestly think anyone is even grateful for your generosity? They probably take you for the sucker that you are!

 

[rudeboiz]

9 hours ago, Greenie said:

edit: not just working their butt off, but also studied the hardest subject and getting paid shit for it.

 

Now dat u mention it, there r at least 2 university graduates amongst the masseurs I know, one a China graduate, another a Malaysian engineer. But remuneration is not the only consideration for a job. Frauds, scammers, gamblers, stock brokers all make even easier money, so why dun we all be dat? Being able to study the hardest subject is a reward and joy in itself, the remuneration be damned!

 

[rudeboiz]

On 11/17/2024 at 3:56 PM, T Gunner said:

Tipping to me is respecting their profession........they will appreciate you and treat you even nicer.
 

And not all masseurs are greedy too… I tipped my previous masseur $150 and $500 once but he opened my duffle bag and returned me $50 and $400 respectively, and said $100 is enough 🙂 even told me off “你不要乱花钱” but as a friend.

😅

 

Whether tipping signifies respect is a moot point. I remember an incident where an old coffee lady served beer to an ah lao in a coffeshop and he asked her to keep the change. She fxxked him with great contempt, "I am not a beer girl!" 'Tipping' a masseur may very well signify he is a whore! But it certainly will foster a no-money-no-honey culture. I am often warned by the boss not to over-tip his boiz, he wants them lean and hungry, NOT fat and lazy!

 

Masseurs may be friendly but they certainly wont want to be frenz with you. Friendship comes with obligations and expectations, they definitely dun want to be shackled by these. Above all, they dun want to grapple with the guilt of ripping off frenz, which they are gleefully doing.

 

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 04:59 AM by rudeboiz

[cutejack]

On 11/15/2024 at 8:33 PM, GachiMuchi said:

 

I said, "Usually those bottom's butt will rise up when their butt is massaged or they would make moaning noises when they feel siok. "

1. I did not mention anything about dark room. A massage room is lit so it is not a dark room. Have you been to a real massage place before or are you referring to a gay sauna? 

2. you are offended that I mentioned that bottom will raise their ass when massage? Is there a need to be offended? Even if you are top who will always propped up your ass when you are enjoying a pleasurable butt massag, what I wrote is not directed at you. It's my observation.

 

Don't have to spew shit from your mouth, just because the comments don't fit what you like to read.

 

Who knows, you might be a closet bottom who is in denial. 

As well u just say,truth hurts la.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[thinking35]

3 hours ago, rudeboiz said:

 

... he wants them lean and hungry, NOT fat and lazy!

 

 

I like this and very agree with this.

[rudeboiz]

3 hours ago, cutejack said:

As well u just say,truth hurts la.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

So u r saying it is TRUE dat a raised butt is the sign of some slutty bottom wanting to be fucked?!!!

 

Lies repeated often enough in the post-truth world become the truth and those who assert such lies become GODs!!

[BubbaBear]

On 11/17/2024 at 3:56 PM, T Gunner said:

Tipping to me is respecting their profession. Some may upfront let you know how much they charge but many will not touch on this topic, but they will still offer if they are comfortable with you. Even though they did not request for tips but it will be nice to tip regardless since is a win-win situation. And by doing so, they will appreciate you and treat you even nicer.
 

And not all masseurs are greedy too… I tipped my previous masseur $150 and $500 once but he opened my duffle bag and returned me $50 and $400 respectively, and said $100 is enough 🙂 even told me off “你不要乱花钱” but as a friend.

 

So how much… maybe between $50 to $100 is sufficient. $50 if you think minimum efforts and $100 maximum efforts 😅 but if you feel like giving more is up to you. 

 

Tips: if a masseur asked for high tips before it start… it meant he probably not interested to provide hence hope the high price will deter you away. 
 

Lastly, don’t be a ass**** not to pay when agreed. The masseurs do encountered people like these every now and then and these are just scumbag. 

 

 

Tip so much ? You all do for hours issit … my masseur gets to touch me every week , my tips $20-$30 .. 😅😂

[egal]

tht was touch only

 

his was full on sex

[Armageddon]

On 11/20/2024 at 3:58 PM, BubbaBear said:

Tip so much ? You all do for hours issit … my masseur gets to touch me every week , my tips $20-$30 .. 😅😂

 

Aiyah, haolian only la, for bragging rights, see the applause of the followers!

 

Have you noticed how certain frauds when they speak, their obsequious followers applaud enthusiastically no matter what crap they spout?

[frauduster]

Incidentally, all tips to your favourite masseur should ALWAYS be given in cash DIRECTLY to the person. Prepare in advance cash for this purpose. Under NO circumstances should you leave tips together with cashless payment for the massage. The boss/manager has absolutely NO qualms whatsoever MISAPPROPRIATING part or WHOLE of the tips, especially if the masseur is unaware of the tips being left with cashless payment. Such reprehensible THEFTs, no less, by those higher up are more frequent than imagined, so please dun waste your money fattening those who are alredi FAT (you know who you are!)

 

 

 

 

Edited 2 hours ago by frauduster