Are you ready to face death? What had you done to prevent dying alone?

[GachiMuchi]

Saw this interesting post and would like to share it here to open the discussion.

 

 

[FattChoy]

People two hundred years ago had life expectancies of 35 yo.  They died due to illness and accidents.  Nowadays old people are living out their meaningless years in aged care centers, which drains their whole live's savings.  In 20 years people will live to 120 years old while in coma and tied to life support machines.  

Edited January 20 by FattChoy

[sentaiboy]

find a religion and you will be okay

[D.0284]

um, death comes as it please whether you are prepared or not. most people dies alone. unless it is an accident or mishap.

[Steve5380]

23 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

Saw this interesting post and would like to share it here to open the discussion.

 

 

 

That poor out-of-shape old man expects to live another 30 years "to enjoy life"?  He should have thought about this a little earlier.  It should not make much difference to us if we die alone or in company,  but we should have consideration for the ones left behind to minimize their trouble brought by our death.

 

 

[Steve5380]

15 hours ago, Dogma said:

Point of view from a 24 y/o.

Am I ready to face death?
Short Answer: No

What Have I done to prevent dying alone?
Short Answer: I did nothing

(P/S: I know this might not help you with anything that you're concerned about but worry less and please live in the moment. Be happy with whatever you can do to make you cheer up and if you can't just vent everything out and stand on the ground again. Forgive me for just anything that triggered you from my answer in this forum.)

Thank you for your reading time and I wish to see your smile.

 

You are perfectly right.  We should not be ready to face death, even after a long happy life like mine.  Instead we can be resigned to it, and prepare for it in consideration to our survivors, but a happy life never ends offering some attractions. And don't pay any attention to Simone de Beauvoir in her crude book "All men are mortal".  She had not reached the stage of considering an afterlife.  This idea makes death even less transcendental, and who can be certain that anyone dies "alone"?  What we will feel at the transition of death may be so fantastic that it is totally opposed to "alone". 

[Steve5380]

15 hours ago, FattChoy said:

People two hundred years ago had life expectancies of 35 yo.  They died due to illness and accidents.  Nowadays old people are living out their meaningless years in aged care centers, which drains their whole live's savings.  In 20 years people will live to 120 years old while in coma and tied to life support machines.  

 

If you could avoid so much pessimism,  maybe you would see that no years in a life are meaningless.  Yes, you see many old people languishing in centers for the aged, but we don't see what they may think.  It may seem that those who fall victims of Alzheimer's and other dementias are gone forever but,  who knows?

 

2 hours ago, sentaiboy said:

find a religion and you will be okay

 

To find a religion is not much different than to find a placebo.  Would you be happy if your fears of death are placated with some fairy tales?   Isn't it better if you could recognize that no one knows for sure what the afterlife is,  and you accept a total ignorance about it to the point that it is a waste to worry about it?

[naked_boi]

where there's life, death will follow. 

in life, there's plenty indeed to follow

for in death no one wants to follow 

so wither death how does life follows through?

 

Life and death are equal ends of the totem pole of any organism, animals or homo sapiens.

If one faces life with joy, gaiety and gratitude then when death calls, the same measure should be given.

As in the journey of life, nothing is a given and everything has to be faced and experienced and then learned will we be.

But in the walk of death, everything has to be given and nothing is taken and what we will leave behind are experiences and the learnings in life 

 

celebrate life and commemorate the death of any kin, brother and friend.

 

😇

 

[doncoin]

I always looked at life/death this way. We are a carbon-based life form and our existence is connected to the cosmos. Every atom in our bodies, from the carbon in our cells, to the calcium in our bones, iron in our blood, was forged by stars that lived and died billions of years ago. We are literally made of stardust. When we die, the elements that composed of our physical form return to the earth, the air, and some day, the cosmos. Just as the atoms in our bodies were once part of ancient stars, so too will our remains one day become part of new stars, galaxies, or even planets.  

 

In this sense, death is a reminder of our place in the grand scheme of interconnected web of existence. This moment that we exist, is just a tiny beep. As we dissolve into the greater fabric of existence, our atoms will mingle with the stars, and new planets with oceans, and the soil, quietly shaping the universe’s future. Death, then, is not an erasure but a transformation—a reminder that while our individual lives are fleeting, the essence of what we are endures, woven into the vast, enduring beauty of the cosmos.

 

To die alone, or to die surrounded by loved ones, is a deeply personal choice, yet it is only a fleeting chapter in the grander narrative of existence. Whether in solitude or embraced by the warmth of others, the moment of death is a transition that transcends the immediate. It is a return to the interconnected web of the cosmos, where our stardust begins its next journey. How we choose to face the transition reflects the essence of who we are. Whether alone or with others, death connects us all to the same vast, enduring cycle of stardust, ensuring that our presence, however small, continues to ripple through eternity. 

 

 

Edited January 20 by doncoin

[egal]

someone here wrote thos before

 

 

omorrow or death, i dont know which will come first

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, naked_boi said:

Life and death are equal ends of the totem pole of any organism, animals or homo sapiens.

If one faces life with joy, gaiety and gratitude then when death calls, the same measure should be given.

As in the journey of life, nothing is a given and everything has to be faced and experienced and then learned will we be.

But in the walk of death, everything has to be given and nothing is taken and what we will leave behind are experiences and the learnings in life 

 

celebrate life and commemorate the death of any kin, brother and friend.

 

 

 

Yes.  Birth and death are the boundaries of every life we know.  How exclusive is a life?  Are WE defined by a life,  or is a life an instance of our extended existence?

 

I wish if the death of a beloved would be simply an occasion to celebrate and commemorate the person.  But I am convinced that the only such death that is painless is our own death.  I have not managed to put behind the death of persons I love.  Instead, each "loss" is a perennial grief that surges on occasions.  This may be one of the inevitable burdens of old age,  the burden of surviving others.

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, egal said:

someone here wrote thos before

 

 

omorrow or death, i dont know which will come first

 

Isn't this overly pessimistic?  In a young person who is healthy, you know that tomorrow will definitely come first!

[egal]

young or old, uwld u know

[radiusulnar]

A sombre and thought provoking thread. A reminder to myself not to be overly sucked into the whole fitness and financial craze and to pause and take stock of life and how wonderful it is. 

[Strange Fruit]

I’m quite fascinated by views of death and eschatology from other more pagan cultures where they lead very different lives from us contemporary urban Westernised people. I think at one point, even the mainstream religions we practise today probably had very different ideas about life and death than we do now ; part of the change is to blame on the role of modern religion, as Steve5380 calls it, a placebo.  We’re now so used to hearing what we want from our pastors in return for tithes, and that includes the whole unwholesome industry of paid blessings, commercialised rituals and prosperity gospels. What should be an exercise in the renunciation of the ego is now a reaffirmation if it. And the more the ego is fed in this life, the less prepared it is to leave it. 
 

Years ago my father passed away and I still remember the eulogies given at his wake; my mother and I did not step forward to deliver ours as next-of-kin, so it was left to a church friend and a sister-in-law. What transpired were two stilted, semi-celebratory superficial observations of his life from two people who did not know him well, and one (the n-law) who was definitely not particularly keen on him in life. What did they say? They said he loved life, and by that they mean it in the Singaporean way - that he loved local food, we laughed uncomfortably at the notion that both eulogies focused so much on so little - how he would traverse the length of the island for the best Bak Chor mee, to share it with friends and family. His love of good international hotel buffets. The onset of gout and his obesity from an early age certainly evinced that passion for food, and considering his otherwise relatively healthy lifestyle (he did not smoke or drink and had a pretty active job that kept him on his feet and enjoyed fishing) I dare say food was the biggest barrier to his health. And can we really say we love life, if we do not try to maintain our health as best we can? It seems he was quite cavalier with it - his work insurance had swooped in many times to cover his expensive surgeries and treatments - ten years before his passing it afforded him one of Singapore’s top neurosurgeons and an A class ward. If we had tallied up his lifetime of medical bills we could easily have bought another condo; thankfully his work insurance covered it all. Such good fortune does not exist professionally today, and when asked my verdict on his life, I would say, quite pragmatically, that he chose the right career- it gave him his closest friends, it gave him life, and it gave me a good life too. He certainly wasn’t the best father, but I have enough perspective from my own friends to know my fate could be much worse: senile fathers whose lives interminably drag on, burdening their families for decades, alcoholic fathers, unfaithful indiscriminate fathers, So many men who don’t deserve to be fathers and yet are. 
 

So now my mother is widowed, and she vacillates between saying she might die tomorrow and that she might live till a hundred given her clean bill of heath. Both outcomes terrify her in equal measure. The Christian Religion is no panacea either; partly because all the people she loves on this earth myself included are not Christian and thus may not be ‘saved’, but more importantly, will not exist in the same realm as she will to keep her company for eternity. She still imagines that Heaven is like earth, only without suffering, where you get to hang out with all your loved ones in white robes partaking of earthly pleasures without consequence - nice houses, good company and conversations, no financial or medical worries, no small inconveniences, ad infinitum. It is such a blinkered literal view of paradise I can only laugh. 
 

A year ago I watched a documentary at the National Gallery that caught my attention because it focused not so much on the artists’s life and work, but on his death and the funeral rites surrounding it. He is I Gusti Nyoman Lempad and he’s basically the Michelangelo of Ubud - the entire Balinese aesthetic that makes the island its billions in tourist dollars pretty much owes him a debt. I attach a link to the full documentary here, but in short, it is believed that after living for 116 years, he himself chose an auspicious date to depart this earth, not the other way round. That he has left such a cultural legacy and a community of artists and family shows he led a fulfilled life. I often wonder about these spiritual people, like those monks who embalm themselves while meditating, who seem to wrest control of death from Death itself. Most of us see it as a form of suicide, so taboo in our culture, and yet suicide really is one of the few ways we can fully be in control of our own lives. What is awful is suicide performed in the throes of unregulated depression and desperation, not knowing the way out. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to say, ‘I have lived all I want on this earth, now to go on another journey’? 
 

 

[Steve5380]

9 hours ago, doncoin said:

I always looked at life/death this way. We are a carbon-based life form and our existence is connected to the cosmos. Every atom in our bodies, from the carbon in our cells, to the calcium in our bones, iron in our blood, was forged by stars that lived and died billions of years ago. We are literally made of stardust. When we die, the elements that composed of our physical form return to the earth, the air, and some day, the cosmos. Just as the atoms in our bodies were once part of ancient stars, so too will our remains one day become part of new stars, galaxies, or even planets.  

 

In this sense, death is a reminder of our place in the grand scheme of interconnected web of existence. This moment that we exist, is just a tiny beep. As we dissolve into the greater fabric of existence, our atoms will mingle with the stars, and new planets with oceans, and the soil, quietly shaping the universe’s future. Death, then, is not an erasure but a transformation—a reminder that while our individual lives are fleeting, the essence of what we are endures, woven into the vast, enduring beauty of the cosmos.

 

To die alone, or to die surrounded by loved ones, is a deeply personal choice, yet it is only a fleeting chapter in the grander narrative of existence. Whether in solitude or embraced by the warmth of others, the moment of death is a transition that transcends the immediate. It is a return to the interconnected web of the cosmos, where our stardust begins its next journey. How we choose to face the transition reflects the essence of who we are. Whether alone or with others, death connects us all to the same vast, enduring cycle of stardust, ensuring that our presence, however small, continues to ripple through eternity. 

 

 

Interesting thoughts.  Maybe OUR BODY is a carbon-based life form, connected to the cosmos.  But WE?   Should we also think that all what we eat is stardust? 😄

 

This reminds one of the religious lemma: "from dust we were created, to dust we return".  But I am careful to live in a dust-free environment, to avoid breathing it in.  I truly don't worry about where the materials in our body come from, or what they will become.  As an agnostic, I don't believe in that what does not have reasonable proof or plain evidence.  But this leaves room for plenty of speculations,  and one I like lately is that our consciousness, our thoughts, don't originate in our body, but they belong to what we bring to the body we were assigned to, that is, our spirit, our soul.  So we, our spirit, does not have to follow the fate of our body.  And what will happen with it after death?  I have not the slightest knowledge, I am totally ignorant.  But like I am ignorant about what brought our spirit together with the body we use in life, I accept this ignorance about death.   And I am quite curious about death.  As the blind said,  "will see" when the time comes.  

 

 

[Why?]

People don't fear dying or being alone.  They are concerned because, before they ever reached the end of their lives, they had Alzheimer's disease, dementia, blindness, or partial paralysis, which made it impossible for them to dress, bathe, or feed themselves.   If you are pretty much healthy, at the very least, you should be able to perform basic tasks without assistance or being alone throughout the last rite.

 

Solution

 

To do that, you must eat healthily, exercise, pay attention to traffic before crossing the street, and quit being overly sensitive, which can lead to fights with other people. Avoid becoming tripped by too much clutter at home, read books frequently to keep your brain active, relax, and avoid comparing your life to others'. If you have to choose between being a "Hero" and saying "No," the latter is the better choice. 

 

Conclusion

 

Love your surroundings, love yourself, and have faith in your body's ability to heal itself regardless of age.. Unless you feel that you have not yet fulfilled something important, which is highly doubtful, why worry about letting go of your GAY LIFE as if they are still worth holding on to at your ripe age of 120?

 

 

 

Edited January 21 by Why?

[asheteru]

Is the fear of death just the fear of the unknown? Is that why most religions prescribe faith - as a form of certainty? What if we treated death like migrating to a new country? Or maybe we need to dig deeper into what is informing the fears? 

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, asheteru said:

Is the fear of death just the fear of the unknown? Is that why most religions prescribe faith - as a form of certainty? What if we treated death like migrating to a new country? Or maybe we need to dig deeper into what is informing the fears? 

 

Is there any hope that digging deeper will provide an answer?  Throughout all recorded history and before, there was deep digging into this issue.  And no true answers.

 

Like most people holding their cellphones have no clue on what makes them work, we have no clue on what makes us work.  There is no way to determine if our spirit is part of our body, or if our spirit was given a material body to ride and call it our own... until the body passed away and the spirit is free again.  I see little hope that this unknown will ever change, so accepting it like an existential fact can be a good way to take out its relevance. 

[doncoin]

12 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Interesting thoughts.  Maybe OUR BODY is a carbon-based life form, connected to the cosmos.  But WE?   Should we also think that all what we eat is stardust? 😄

 

Technically, all earth-based life forms are carbon-based life forms, so it is true that what we consume are star dust. The molecular structures that processes life, i.e. DNA, proteins, lipids, carbohydrates, etc. are all build on carbon atoms. 

 

Sometimes I wonder if we overthink the concept of life after death. What if this is all there is—no grand continuation, no second act? What if the life we have now is the only one we’ll ever experience, our one fleeting moment in the vast timeline of the universe? Instead of obsessing over the unknown, perhaps we should focus on what is known, real, and tangible.

 

We are here, now, in this brief “beep” of existence amidst billions of years of cosmic history. This fleeting moment is ours to live, to experience, to make meaningful. Rather than being consumed by questions we cannot answer, why not channel our energy into fully embracing the present? Every second we have is an opportunity to love, learn, create, and connect.

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

Technically, all earth-based life forms are carbon-based life forms, so it is true that what we consume are star dust. The molecular structures that processes life, i.e. DNA, proteins, lipids, carbohydrates, etc. are all build on carbon atoms. 

 

Sometimes I wonder if we overthink the concept of life after death. What if this is all there is—no grand continuation, no second act? What if the life we have now is the only one we’ll ever experience, our one fleeting moment in the vast timeline of the universe? Instead of obsessing over the unknown, perhaps we should focus on what is known, real, and tangible.

 

We are here, now, in this brief “beep” of existence amidst billions of years of cosmic history. This fleeting moment is ours to live, to experience, to make meaningful. Rather than being consumed by questions we cannot answer, why not channel our energy into fully embracing the present? Every second we have is an opportunity to love, learn, create, and connect.

 

Yes,  everything you wrote cannot be argued with.  It makes perfect sense,  like most of our personal ideologies we are entitled to hold.  Since not too long ago I held the same opinion:  why not accept that the realities we see are all what exists. I still haven't given up on this idea.

 

But to fully embrace the present requires to accept the injustices and evils we recognize in the known, real, tangible.  How to accept the destruction of thousands of innocent families with little children victims of war, like in Gaza, in Ukraine, in... practically everywhere except in privileged societies like ours?  Why little children die shortly after birth, while I have been allowed to live happily over 80 years?  Is it a random game of luck?  

 

If we are no more than our physical bodies,  then each of our millions of sperm is a potential for a spirit, a soul.  Yet we know that only a minuscule fraction of sperm, not only ours but that of other creatures, becomes a living body.  Does this mean that billions of potential souls are wasted?  Is our spirit worth so little that so many spirits can be wasted?  

 

All these loose speculations make me wish that our spirit, our consciousness, is more valuable than that.  Not part of a disposable body, but a valuable essence that nature provides to each body to make it "alive".  And digging even deeper, we may not be individual spirits but just instances of a single "spirit" essence.  In this way, the evils and injustices suffered by the temporary bodies are simply temporary, and we spirits are not victimized.

[FattChoy]

Can anyone give an example of what you think is a death gone well?  Real life example please, don't just talk about imaginary stuff coming from the mouth of preachers.  Past leaders?  Movie stars?  Billionaires.   

 

At least we can outline the characteristics of a good death and even quantify and measure the parameters. 

 

I'll just throw it out there, not really classifying it.

Good death - Sean Connery - retired and died in the Bahamas.  

 

Not so good death - Ng Man Tat and Liu Kai Chi.  Cancer and all resulting in tremendous pain and drained wealth.

 

Good death - Matthew Perry.  Went out rocking yeah....

Edited January 24 by FattChoy

[naked_boi]

33 minutes ago, FattChoy said:

Can anyone give an example of what you think is a death gone well?  Real life example please, don't just talk about imaginary stuff coming from the mouth of preachers.  Past leaders?  Movie stars?  Billionaires.   

 

At least we can outline the characteristics of a good death and even quantify and measure the parameters. 

 

I'll just throw it out there, not really classifying it.

Good death - Sean Connery - retired and died in the Bahamas.  

 

Not so good death - Ng Man Tat and Liu Kai Chi.  Cancer and all resulting in tremendous pain and drained wealth.

 

Good death - Matthew Perry.  Went out rocking yeah....

 

Death is just the end of this form of life and will restart in another way

so looking from this prism, there's no good or bad; rather it's the circumstances leading to the end

and yeah, if by next week i'm silent then i'm too in death's good company well on the way into the deep unknown.

 

[yogateacher]

For those we're interested, these are rather good reads:

Tibetan Book of the Dead: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/208123.The_Tibetan_Book_of_the_Dead

Death by Sadhguru: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50273386-death

Edited January 24 by yogateacher

[FattChoy]

1 hour ago, yogateacher said:

For those we're interested, these are rather good reads:

Tibetan Book of the Dead: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/208123.The_Tibetan_Book_of_the_Dead

Death by Sadhguru: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50273386-death

Like who exactly?  Any examples rather than philosophically saying?  Sorry but didn't read cos didn't want to click on unknown links 

[FattChoy]

2 hours ago, naked_boi said:

 

Death is just the end of this form of life and will restart in another way

so looking from this prism, there's no good or bad; rather it's the circumstances leading to the end

and yeah, if by next week i'm silent then i'm too in death's good company well on the way into the deep unknown.

 

There is good death, just as there is a good life.  I didn't want to bring religion into it but in Buddhism they  always wish someone a good death.  But it's also philosophically.  I doubt they have really named someone real who had a 5 ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ death.

Edited January 24 by FattChoy

[naked_boi]

Just now, FattChoy said:

There is good death, just as there is a good life.  I didn't want to bring religion into it but in Buddhism they  always wish someone a good death.  

yes that's true in Buddhism. 

Independent of any religious beliefs; i just think being and doing good in life will lead to a good ending too

 

[FattChoy]

On 1/21/2025 at 1:26 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

That poor out-of-shape old man expects to live another 30 years "to enjoy life"?  He should have thought about this a little earlier.  It should not make much difference to us if we die alone or in company,  but we should have consideration for the ones left behind to minimize their trouble brought by our death.

 

 

Minimize the trouble at death?  I can think of jumping into a volcano.  Or in the elderly's case - rolling the wheel chair into the magma. Or catapult if you still want to donate the wheelchair

[naked_boi]

during our time here; if and when we could; joy was brought forth to many of those whom we knew 

then a life well-lived was spent and thus when we walk in the door where it ends; we would have smiled

 

[mijsdlog]

I just hope that when I die it doesn't go undiscovered for days and my neighbours get grossed out. That's one of few things that bother me about living alone in old age. As much as I like my personal space, perhaps it is better to live in a home unless I'm sure to get daily visits from friends/family.

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, FattChoy said:

Minimize the trouble at death?  I can think of jumping into a volcano.  Or in the elderly's case - rolling the wheel chair into the magma. Or catapult if you still want to donate the wheelchair

 

????  How many elderly you know who plan to jump into a volcano ??? 

 

Don't overlook the simple choices,  like asking for immediate cremation without ceremonies, or donating the body to "science".

[strangeName]

I don't ever think I will ever be ready to face death. Life is full of regret, even if I die 40/50 years later I will still have things undone and will never be ready to die. Preventing dying alone, I've not made up any choices yet. Even with a partner either one of us will have to pass on first, being in an age gap relationship I will most likely pass on first.

I would say that I am considering those assisted living facilities, where nurses and doctors are available round the clock to assists you. I do have siblings who are not too far from my age, hopefully I get to live with them. 

[FattChoy]

Society has progressed so much that they're pushing back on the natural progression of incidences leading to death.

 

Elderly humans are meant to slip and fall.  And then they go on this health spiral and die.  When you actively prevents that you have a corpse on a bed or a wheelchair and drying an undignified slow death.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, FattChoy said:

Society has progressed so much that they're pushing back on the natural progression of incidences leading to death.

 

Elderly humans are meant to slip and fall.  And then they go on this health spiral and die.  When you actively prevents that you have a corpse on a bed or a wheelchair and drying an undignified slow death.

 

LOL!!! LOL!!!   don't you have a better outlook towards old age?  SMART old humans exercise their legs and their balance so that they don't just "slip and fall".  What you describe as "corpse on a bed slowly dying an undignified death" is the case of seniors with dementia.  This is why you should cultivate a good metabolism to avoid this!

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, strangeName said:

I don't ever think I will ever be ready to face death. Life is full of regret, even if I die 40/50 years later I will still have things undone and will never be ready to die. Preventing dying alone, I've not made up any choices yet. Even with a partner either one of us will have to pass on first, being in an age gap relationship I will most likely pass on first.

I would say that I am considering those assisted living facilities, where nurses and doctors are available round the clock to assists you. I do have siblings who are not too far from my age, hopefully I get to live with them. 

 

Life should not be full of regret.  Be kind to yourself and let go of regrets, instead finding that you always did the best you could!  I was also in an "age gap relationship", with my bf 20 years younger, but he died first.  I am glad, because this is quite hard emotionally for the surviving partner.

 

BY ALL MEANS,  try to avoid "assisted living facilities" when old.  It's better to live with your siblings, a friend, or alone.  (watch the video posted on Jan 22 on the thread "for gays who will be seniors one day".