揭秘：男同性恋者的孤独之痛 / Revealed: The pain of loneliness among gay men

[GachiMuchi]

揭秘：男同性恋者的孤独之痛

原创 风潮WindTide 风潮WindTide 2024年11月04日 09:43

 

  随着社会不断进步，大家对同性恋的认知也越来越深刻。同性恋早就不是什么“病态”了。不过，科学研究表明，和异性恋相比，男同性恋的确在一些行为和心理健康方面会面临更多挑战。比如，他们更容易出现躯体化症状（身体感觉不舒服但查不出原因那种）、强迫症、对人际关系过于敏感，以及更容易感到焦虑、敌对，甚至对社会适应力差。总之，男同性恋者的整体生存状况并不理想，身体和心理健康水平都偏低，还常常会遭遇一些负面生活事件的打击，比如社会支持少，自杀率也较高。  

 

社会经验少的同性恋往往更加孤独，敌意多，觉得自己与周围环境格格不入。孤独感到底是什么呢？简单说，就是当你渴望拥有一群伙伴，但现实却只有自己一个时产生的那种失落感。这种情绪会让人的身心健康都受到负面影响，甚至增加患病风险，严重时还会和人格障碍、抑郁症、自杀等联系在一起。  

 

而依恋是什么？可以这么理解：当你还是个婴儿时，你跟父母或主要照顾者之间形成的情感纽带，就是依恋。心理学家发现，依恋类型和孤独感是有关系的。那些有“安全依恋”的人，孤独感会少很多。而“非安全依恋”的人则更容易感到孤独，比如依恋焦虑型的人总是害怕被抛弃，依恋回避型的人则对亲密关系感到不适。  

 

自尊呢？这其实是你对自己价值的总体看法。自尊高的人通常对自己满意，自然也不容易感到孤独。自尊低的人则容易产生孤独感，因为他们在社交中缺乏自信，常常觉得别人不喜欢自己，交朋友也不够积极。  

 

那男同性恋者的情况如何？根据一项研究，≥16岁（16岁以下性取向还不稳定），自认同性恋的男生中，有固定恋爱对象的只占了202人中的56人，其余的还在“独行侠”阶段。还有意思的是，在这些人里，有些打算和异性结婚，但大部分人（121人）表示不会结婚，剩下10人则已经结过婚或离过婚。关于出柜（公开性取向），有63人已经勇敢地迈出了这一步。而同性恋中的性角色也分为三类：主动型（61人）、被动型（84人）和两可型（57人）。这就像打游戏，有人喜欢当领队，有人喜欢跟随，还有人能灵活切换。  

 

在孤独感方面，男同性恋者的孤独感普遍较高，这可能和他们常常遭遇歧视和偏见有关。被社会排斥的感觉自然会增加他们的孤独感。对于这些孤独感背后的原因，研究表明，少数群体承受的压力（比如歧视事件和被拒绝的预期）能够很好地预测男同性恋者的孤独感。而且，由于社会上对同性恋的接受程度依旧不高，即使表面上有些人表现得很中立或支持，但内心深处可能仍然存有偏见。这也让男同性恋者容易感到自卑，尤其是那些表现出女性化倾向的同性恋者，因不符合传统“男性形象”，更容易感到孤独。  

 

有趣的是，不同恋爱状态、性角色和婚姻意愿的男同性恋者在孤独感上也有差异。比如，那些没有固定恋爱对象的男同性恋者孤独感要比有对象的更高；被动型角色的孤独感也比主动型角色的高，可能因为他们的某些特质让他们更容易感到孤立。而那些打算和异性结婚的男同性恋者孤独感也较高，因为他们可能觉得与异性结婚意味着同性恋情不会有未来。  

 

自尊和依恋对孤独感的影响也很大。研究显示，男同性恋者的自尊与依恋对孤独感的解释力达44%，而男异性恋者仅为13%。男同性恋者自尊心低的原因是他们难以被社会接纳，导致对自己不够自信。他们更不愿意社交，感觉到的排斥感也更强烈。此外，男同性恋者的依恋焦虑较高，他们更需要情感上的支持，但在亲密关系中却难以展现真实的自己，这也加剧了他们的孤独感。而那些依恋回避较高的男同性恋者则倾向于隐藏自己的性取向，但这种自我压抑只会增加孤独感。  

 

心理学家建议，社会应当更加包容男同性恋者，帮助他们减少孤独感，提升自尊。而心理健康工作者也需要更加重视男同性恋者的依恋风格和自尊，帮助他们更好地应对社会中的压力。
 

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Translation into English by Doubao AI

Revealed: The pain of loneliness among gay men

风潮WindTide 2024年11月04日 09:43

 

With the continuous progress of society, people's understanding of homosexuality has become deeper and deeper. Homosexuality is no longer considered a "pathological condition." However, scientific research shows that compared with heterosexuals, gay men do face more challenges in terms of certain behaviors and mental health. For example, they are more likely to experience somatization symptoms (feeling physically uncomfortable without any identifiable cause), obsessive-compulsive disorder, be overly sensitive in interpersonal relationships, and are more prone to feelings of anxiety, hostility, and even have poor social adaptability. In general, the overall living conditions of gay men are not ideal. Their physical and mental health levels are relatively low, and they often encounter the impact of negative life events. For instance, they receive less social support and have a relatively high suicide rate.

 

Gay men with less social experience tend to be more lonely and hostile, and feel that they don't fit in with their surroundings. What exactly is loneliness? Simply put, it is the sense of loss that occurs when you long for a group of companions but are actually alone. This emotion can have a negative impact on a person's physical and mental health, and even increase the risk of illness. In severe cases, it is associated with personality disorders, depression, suicide, and other issues.

 

What about attachment? It can be understood in this way: When you were a baby, the emotional bond you formed with your parents or primary caregivers was attachment. Psychologists have found that there is a relationship between attachment styles and loneliness. People with "secure attachment" feel much less lonely. On the other hand, those with "insecure attachment" are more likely to feel lonely. For example, people with attachment anxiety are always afraid of being abandoned, and those with attachment avoidance feel uncomfortable in intimate relationships.

 

What about self-esteem? In fact, it is your overall perception of your own value. People with high self-esteem are usually satisfied with themselves and naturally less likely to feel lonely. People with low self-esteem are prone to loneliness because they lack confidence in social interactions, often feel that others don't like them, and are less proactive in making friends.

 

So, what about the situation of gay men? According to a study, among boys aged 16 and above (sexual orientation is not stable before the age of 16) who identify as gay, only 56 out of 202 people have a steady romantic partner, and the rest are still "single." Interestingly, among these people, some plan to marry the opposite sex, but the majority (121 people) say they will not get married, and the remaining 10 people have already been married or divorced. Regarding coming out (disclosing one's sexual orientation), 63 people have bravely taken this step. In the gay community, sexual roles are also divided into three categories: active (61 people), passive (84 people), and versatile (57 people). It's like in a game, some people like to be the leader, some like to follow, and some can switch flexibly.

 

In terms of loneliness, gay men generally have a high level of loneliness, which may be related to the discrimination and prejudice they often face. The feeling of being socially excluded naturally increases their loneliness. Regarding the reasons behind this loneliness, research shows that the stress experienced by minority groups (such as discriminatory incidents and the anticipation of being rejected) can well predict the loneliness of gay men. Moreover, due to the still low level of social acceptance of homosexuality, even if some people appear neutral or supportive on the surface, they may still have deep - seated prejudices. This also makes gay men prone to feelings of inferiority, especially those with a feminine tendency. Since they do not conform to the traditional "masculine image," they are more likely to feel lonely.

 

Interestingly, gay men with different relationship statuses, sexual roles, and marriage intentions also show differences in loneliness. For example, gay men without a steady romantic partner have a higher level of loneliness than those with one; those with a passive sexual role also have a higher level of loneliness than those with an active role, perhaps because certain of their traits make them more likely to feel isolated. And those gay men who plan to marry the opposite sex also have a relatively high level of loneliness because they may feel that marrying the opposite sex means that their same - sex relationship has no future.

 

Self-esteem and attachment also have a great impact on loneliness. Research shows that self-esteem and attachment can explain 44% of the loneliness in gay men, while in heterosexual men, this figure is only 13%. The reason why gay men have low self-esteem is that it is difficult for them to be accepted by society, which leads to a lack of confidence in themselves. They are less willing to socialize and feel a stronger sense of rejection. In addition, gay men have higher levels of attachment anxiety. They need more emotional support but find it difficult to show their true selves in intimate relationships, which also exacerbates their loneliness. Gay men with high levels of attachment avoidance tend to hide their sexual orientation, but this self - repression only increases their loneliness.

 

Psychologists suggest that society should be more inclusive of gay men to help them reduce loneliness and enhance their self - esteem. Mental health workers also need to pay more attention to the attachment styles and self - esteem of gay men to help them better cope with the pressures in society.

Edited 16 hours ago by GachiMuchi