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Mid Life Crisis (My Depression Diaries)


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  On 4/17/2025 at 1:50 AM, Derren said:

What are good fields to enter in mid career? 

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To answer your question would exceed the storage capacity of BW.   In general, at mid career we should benefit from experience before losing value to obsolescence and loss of functionality.

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Edited by Steve5380
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Haha, doesn't have to be an exhaustive list of answers, some suggestions will be enough.


with such a (possibly) long life ahead of us, we really need to think and plan how we want to spend it, lest it becomes a living torture. 
 

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  On 4/19/2025 at 3:29 AM, Derren said:


with such a (possibly) long life ahead of us, we really need to think and plan how we want to spend it, lest it becomes a living torture. 
 

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No matter how we plan to live our possibly long life,  life IS a living torture for all living creatures, and we are no exception.  We just need to have strong shoulders to support the tortures of life and let the blessings of life come through.  :) 

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  On 4/20/2025 at 1:21 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

No matter how we plan to live our possibly long life,  life IS a living torture for all living creatures, and we are no exception.  We just need to have strong shoulders to support the tortures of life and let the blessings of life come through.  :) 

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Some tortures are worse than others. Let's do what we can to alleviate the suffering.

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  On 4/20/2025 at 1:29 AM, Derren said:

I am also seeking a new direction for mid life. So far, no fresh insight has turned up and the feeling of being stuck can feel like a black hole with no end in sight.

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Think of those Buddhist monks who spend their lives meditating and cultivating detachment.  Their lives are no less well lived!  In mid life we can be open to new intellectual directions if we keep our brain sharp with a good lifestyle.  And we can also be open to new physical directions if we cultivate and exercise the body to remain fully functional.  If so, we can let time pass and don't need to despair if new directions trickle in slowly. 

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  On 4/20/2025 at 1:40 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

Think of those Buddhist monks who spend their lives meditating and cultivating detachment.  Their lives are no less well lived!  In mid life we can be open to new intellectual directions if we keep our brain sharp with a good lifestyle.  And we can also be open to new physical directions if we cultivate and exercise the body to remain fully functional.  If so, we can let time pass and don't need to despair if new directions trickle in slowly. 

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Indeed, the mind is the source of the unnecessary suffering. Need to cultivate the mind. 

Yes, I will continue to work towards a healthier and functional body. 

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  On 4/25/2025 at 2:16 AM, robin said:


quite a few of the bros I know went into hospital healthcare & they seem happy about it. They have been there for 3-4 years & some even went for certification. 

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that's good to know. i thought hospital healthcare to be very long hours, tedious work and low pay. 

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  On 4/25/2025 at 3:28 AM, Derren said:

 

that's good to know. i thought hospital healthcare to be very long hours, tedious work and low pay. 

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I supposed everyone’s expectations of pay for mid-career change jobs are different. What surprises me is that all have stayed & seem to enjoy it.  Maybe it is because the work of helping others seek recovery improves the mental health & brought a new meaning to work. And I believe we know the hours of work & job satisfaction do not come hand in hand.

Edited by robin
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  On 4/25/2025 at 3:30 AM, Derren said:

 

need to acquire the skill, many years of experience to fine tune it too.

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And for f&b,  the best sector is our own nutrition, for our best health.   To work in f&b and other service sectors is fine to make a living.  But it could be better to apply our mind to more skillful undertakings to create, to make, to produce something useful.

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I was going through mid-life & mid-career crisis some years back. Having been in the same industry for 24 years, I was sick of it. I spent quite some time thinking what to do, not wanting to take too big a paycut & not wanting something that is too stressful or long hours.
Unconsciously, 2-years just went by & during the Covid lockdown period, I sank into depression. In the end, I just randomly applied for a job that is in the same industry but different domain.  Thankfully, I got the job with a 3% paycut.  I have stayed in my current company for 2-years. It is not what I  am seeking but it has helped to keep me mentally challenged & pay the bills while considering other options.

Sometimes, if we do not know what we want,  it may be better to just jump into it & find out, else we never know. 

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  On 4/26/2025 at 8:34 AM, robin said:

I was going through mid-life & mid-career crisis some years back. Having been in the same industry for 24 years, I was sick of it. I spent quite some time thinking what to do, not wanting to take too big a paycut & not wanting something that is too stressful or long hours.
Unconsciously, 2-years just went by & during the Covid lockdown period, I sank into depression. In the end, I just randomly applied for a job that is in the same industry but different domain.  Thankfully, I got the job with a 3% paycut.  I have stayed in my current company for 2-years. It is not what I  am seeking but it has helped to keep me mentally challenged & pay the bills while considering other options.

Sometimes, if we do not know what we want,  it may be better to just jump into it & find out, else we never know. 

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Agree. Also we are programmed to maximise gains. Thats natural but if we forget to have some trade offs, it can lead to unhappiness.

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  On 4/26/2025 at 8:34 AM, robin said:

I was going through mid-life & mid-career crisis some years back. Having been in the same industry for 24 years, I was sick of it. I spent quite some time thinking what to do, not wanting to take too big a paycut & not wanting something that is too stressful or long hours.
Unconsciously, 2-years just went by & during the Covid lockdown period, I sank into depression. In the end, I just randomly applied for a job that is in the same industry but different domain.  Thankfully, I got the job with a 3% paycut.  I have stayed in my current company for 2-years. It is not what I  am seeking but it has helped to keep me mentally challenged & pay the bills while considering other options.

Sometimes, if we do not know what we want,  it may be better to just jump into it & find out, else we never know. 

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Thank you for the sharing! A 3% pay cut is a very small price to pay for a new burst of energy. Happy for you!

So what are your current thoughts?

 

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  On 4/27/2025 at 12:38 AM, Derren said:


Thank you for the sharing! A 3% pay cut is a very small price to pay for a new burst of energy. Happy for you!

So what are your current thoughts?

 

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Thanks for the kind wishes. 
 

When I was not working during the 2 years (& many other years in between), initially I felt carefree. Though surrounding people may feel I am cool to be able to get out of the corporate cycle, deep within, the self-freedom & happiness started to dwindle overtime. Partly, though I am financially comfortable, I can’t deny that because no decent income is coming in, I had to restrain myself to not spend freely. This itself is a stress. 
 

On the other hand, in my current role, though I have zero required technical skill sets & the  environment can be quite shitty (which corporate environment is not?), because as I am not too stress over the finances or losing the job, I turned out to be the best performer in my team. Isn’t life so ironic? 
 

Currently, I am back to the drawing board on looking for something I am interested in. Some recent exploration on business partnership did not materialised. My full-time job is going through lull period & various industries are going through workforce restructuring. As I enjoy watching summarized movies/dramas in FB & TikTok, I  decided to use my Skills Future credits to take up some AI+digital marketing courses. No concrete plans. But with the acquired skill, possible options will be setting up an e-shop or offer digital marketing services. Even if none of it materialised, will just take it as keeping in touch with tech. 
 

If we are at a lost or miserable stage of life, things can’t get much worse by trying something new .. 

Edited by robin
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  On 4/28/2025 at 2:29 AM, Derren said:

Robin, you are financially independent and working for self-actualization. That's such an achievement! 

AI is truly the way to go. Many jobs will be impacted, that's for sure. 

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I do have my fair share of never ending liabilities. Each day when I opened my eyes, if I want, I can think of them & find it hard to breath!
But one good thing about aging is the realisation that death is real & can happen anytime. We may not live till the day we cleared them, so why bother to feel pressurized by it. As long as I am not at risk in arrears, I will just be thankful & enjoy my life! 

Edited by robin
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  On 4/28/2025 at 6:36 AM, robin said:


I do have my fair share of never ending liabilities. Each day when I opened my eyes, if I want, I can think of them & find it hard to breath!
But one good thing about aging is the realisation that death is real & can happen anytime. We may not live till the day we cleared them, so why bother to feel pressurized by it. As long as I am not at risk in arrears, I will just be thankful & enjoy my life! 

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Aging has definitely its advantages.  And if you had planned to be successful reaching a certain age in good health and you have passed it,  it is not so important to live longer. I took two commercial flights the other days, and thinking about airplane disasters I was comforted by the idea that such a death must be sudden and fast, and it could be a good way to free my spirit from my present body.  Who knows what can come after...

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  On 4/27/2025 at 4:15 PM, robin said:

I am financially comfortable, I can’t deny that because no decent income is coming in, I had to restrain myself to not spend freely.

 

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I see it as a virtue rather than the lost of freedom to spend freely.  

  On 4/27/2025 at 4:15 PM, robin said:

When I was not working during the 2 years (& many other years in between), initially I felt carefree..   the self-freedom & happiness started to dwindle overtime

 

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Your happiness may not necessarily decline as a result of being unemployed.  You are even more deprived of love and social interaction because you felt compelled to help others in order to gain attention and look useful.  You're a sociable creature.   However, there are also lone wolves who are happy living a free and unencumbered life, enjoying alone, being unaffected by drama or dangerous adventures, and—above all—not attempting to win over other people.  Everybody has a unique personality, and their fate unfolds organically without any preparation or training.

 

 

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