appboy Posted February 22 Report Share Posted February 22 (edited) Ghosting/Blocking is common in the community. Why can't two persons meet face to face to talk it out before deciding to break up? Why are gay always so heartless? To write off someone from his life without informing the other party. Is this a cowardly behaviour of guys or he feels it's a total waste of his time to meet for the last time? It's so easy to block someone on Telegram and Grindr these days. Telegram is making it worse. One can easily delete the chat history of the other before leaving him. The time spent together, does that mean anything to anyone anymore? Edited February 22 by appboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imht Posted February 22 Report Share Posted February 22 Blocking/ghosting is getting common in this tech world and some may see it as the easiest out. There are many reasons why they choose to do so. I know this episode hurts you, but I guess there is no point seeking a closure if he doesn’t have any intention to do so. Let it hurt, let it heal and move on. Only you can decide how long it is going to hurt you. First thing you have to do, stop brooding over a closure…. Mister M, wtfish and Atypical 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbm Posted February 22 Report Share Posted February 22 I'm not sure about other people, but I find that my own emotions are annoying. If I get blocked and the chat is deleted, without closure, I will get upset and left wondering for days what I did wrong. If an explanation is provided with closure, I will get upset and left wondering for days whether what was said about me is really true; and I start doubting myself. With closure or without closure, my emotions will still mess with me. So don't worry too much. Heal yourself, cheer up and always remain hopeful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Startup Posted February 22 Popular Post Report Share Posted February 22 Years ago, someone told me, if you love someone, set them free. Another told me, never ask why. It took me a long time to understand what they meant. To truly move on when the other person refuses to give you closure, you need to be able to do 3 things. 1. See the positive side of the breakup. 2. Be kind to yourself. 3. Let go of the need to know why. Everything happens for a reason. Lone_97, Mister M, wtfish and 2 others 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted February 22 Report Share Posted February 22 12 minutes ago, Startup said: Years ago, someone told me, if you love someone, set them free. Another told me, never ask why. It took me a long time to understand what they meant. To truly move on when the other person refuses to give you closure, you need to be able to do 3 things. 1. See the positive side of the breakup. 2. Be kind to yourself. 3. Let go of the need to know why. Everything happens for a reason. Well said! This is so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted February 22 Report Share Posted February 22 7 hours ago, appboy said: Ghosting/Blocking is common in the community. Why can't two persons meet face to face to talk it out before deciding to break up? Why are gay always so heartless? To write off someone from his life without informing the other party. Is this a cowardly behaviour of guys or he feels it's a total waste of his time to meet for the last time? It's so easy to block someone on Telegram and Grindr these days. Telegram is making it worse. One can easily delete the chat history of the other before leaving him. The time spent together, does that mean anything to anyone anymore? So why are you wasting time whining about someone whose behaviour is cowardly? Quote Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Why? Posted February 23 Report Share Posted February 23 10 hours ago, appboy said: Why can't two persons meet face to face to talk it out before deciding to break up? The other person probably wanted LESS DRAMA from you. So he decided to go for "CLEAR OUT, CLEAN CUT"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feilyxnixx Posted February 23 Report Share Posted February 23 probably not the first , and wont be the last time u will encounter this kind. and besides...closure is made by oneself , not anyone else. it will hurt , obviously. but u can do it. 😃 T Gunner 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 23 Report Share Posted February 23 13 hours ago, appboy said: It's so easy to block someone on Telegram and Grindr these days. Telegram is making it worse. One can easily delete the chat history of the other before leaving him. The time spent together, does that mean anything to anyone anymore? Forgive my ignorance about today's modern dating. But when two individuals have spent time together... aren't there other channels of communication besides Telegram and Grindr? Don't the individuals know each other's phone number, email, address, etc.? So how can the individuals get "blocked" by some impersonal programs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egal Posted February 23 Report Share Posted February 23 everyon shd go offline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GachiMuchi Posted February 23 Report Share Posted February 23 1. Before you can love others, you need to love yourself. 2. Love others, but be kind yourself. 3. Don't over think things; focus on what you can control and let go of the rest. Hope it helps. justin1982 1 Quote http://gachimuchi2008.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Startup Posted February 23 Report Share Posted February 23 What does it mean to be kind to ourselves when it comes to such situations? We like to ask, what have I done wrong? Could I have done something differently? Why did he do this or that? And we get stuck in the thinking loop. Then we start to blame ourselves for whatever that went wrong. This is called self punishment. That you pass a sentence on yourself for many days or weeks for just an event. You are reliving the breakup every moment of your life instead of moving on. The only way to get out of it is to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for your part in the breakup. Forgive the other person for his part. Think of the good that had happened during the relationship. Wish the other person well. And give yourself permission to move on. derrick and mate69 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted March 2 Report Share Posted March 2 On 2/24/2025 at 7:30 AM, Startup said: What does it mean to be kind to ourselves when it comes to such situations? We like to ask, what have I done wrong? Could I have done something differently? Why did he do this or that? And we get stuck in the thinking loop. Then we start to blame ourselves for whatever that went wrong. This is called self punishment. That you pass a sentence on yourself for many days or weeks for just an event. You are reliving the breakup every moment of your life instead of moving on. The only way to get out of it is to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for your part in the breakup. Forgive the other person for his part. Think of the good that had happened during the relationship. Wish the other person well. And give yourself permission to move on. Agree. Not everything in life has certainty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egal Posted March 2 Report Share Posted March 2 people r so cold; they just one sidedly delete a telegram chat k, i suppose if thr is no conversation goin on anymore, the least u cld do is say goodbye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iKneadyou Posted March 2 Report Share Posted March 2 Lol. I’ve stopped having expectations. Grown up. Be a man. If it ain’t working, the least I’d do is tell the other party via message. If not, set a date and meet somewhere to talk things out. Stop giving silent treatments, stop giving excuses. End it well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 If he didn't give you closure, it's probably because you don't deserve one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlmbear Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 Perhaps should asked why do you need closure from the other party? yhtang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janth Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 On 2/22/2025 at 10:26 PM, appboy said: Ghosting/Blocking is common in the community. Why can't two persons meet face to face to talk it out before deciding to break up? Why are gay always so heartless? To write off someone from his life without informing the other party. Is this a cowardly behaviour of guys or he feels it's a total waste of his time to meet for the last time? It's so easy to block someone on Telegram and Grindr these days. Telegram is making it worse. One can easily delete the chat history of the other before leaving him. The time spent together, does that mean anything to anyone anymore? I recently had a breakup where I was "very gently" let down and got all the closure I needed. TBH it felt a lot worse than if I just got ghosted because I knew it was a him problem but in my mind it was always a me problem. He says he is dealing with guilt because someone he had feelings for came back, but I kept blaming myself for not being good enough to keep his attention on me. The more he tried to assure me/comfort me the worse I felt because I hoped the assurance and comfort could turn into love and affection. Newsflash: it didn't. The thing is, even if the specific person (SP) tells you the reason why they chose to break up, you will still be in pain. Lemme give you a few examples: - "Just no vibes lor" - "There is someone else" - "You are too dramatic and I cannot deal" Maybe unpopular opinion - but being ghosted/ghosting is the easiest (and actually kinder) way to reject someone. Not because of cowardice, but because that enables at least 1 party to move on with their lives. If you're the one whose been ghosted, then you have to decide whether you want to give in to despair or join the SP in moving on. Of course you're entitled to be hurt/confused/angry, but once you've been blocked or ghosted at least you know there is nothing to cling to. Whether ghosted or not, you need to remember that you have your own value, and believe it. Even when you enter/leave/get left in a relationship, you should hold your value close to you because like it or not, your life is still yours to live. You can choose to wallow in despair for a short while, but you still have to get back to life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yhtang Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 (edited) 13 minutes ago, janth said: Whether ghosted or not, you need to remember that you have your own value, and believe it. Even when you enter/leave/get left in a relationship, you should hold your value close to you because like it or not, your life is still yours to live. You can choose to wallow in despair for a short while, but you still have to get back to life. Well said. I agree. As the song goes, "first cut is the deepest" - you will just have to survive it, live with it, and get on with life. Edited March 13 by yhtang janth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanton_mee Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Improve yourself for yourself. Quote 风没有形状，风骚才有！💋 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suckmegood Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 For such closure, its about maturity level. So, its on yourself to let yourself "move on". Not the other party. They can be a jerk to make you feel bad. But you need to move on. Steve5380 and feilyxnixx 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balestier Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Some ppl are very good at playing mind games. You need to stand firm and know what you know. Block him out of your life , if need be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted March 19 Report Share Posted March 19 17 hours ago, suckmegood said: For such closure, its about maturity level. So, its on yourself to let yourself "move on". Not the other party. They can be a jerk to make you feel bad. But you need to move on. Very true. A gay relationship is not the same as a marriage. With marriage, it may be difficult and costly to "move on". In an informal relationship there should not be any real obstacle to move on. You may have emotional obstacles to move on, but it is exclusively your own action to remove them. All this... as long as there are no economical ties that need to be broken. Hopefully nothing that requires legal help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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