How to deal with unwanted attention after physical changes from muscle building?

[Thatguy642]

Can’t think of a good title for this, but it’s something I’ve noticed for myself and I was wondering about how other people feel about it, how they dealt with it, their experiences, etc.:

 

Ever since I started gaining a bit of muscle I notice that I get a lot more attention. With sexual encounters obviously it’s fine and I enjoy the attention (of course) but it’s a bit weirder and a little bit embarrassing when even your boss makes comments. I’m not even a bodybuilder and even now it’s at a point where even straight guys/ women will make comments on it and make it a point of discussion in conversation which is, while very flattering, pretty uncomfortable.

 

I have to admit that a part of me enjoys it because people seem to be more touchy now, but at the same time it makes me shy because I don’t really know how to respond, so I find myself wearing baggier clothes now even though I really enjoy the way a nice fitting shirt hugs the body, just so I get less attention.
 

After doing that I also start to notice a lot of huge guys in the gym wearing baggy sweaters/clothes but obviously those gains can’t be hidden, they’re like 3x my size haha. I’m still small enough to look skinny in clothes. I think the issue is that I still don’t know how to respond so how do you guys respond?

 

I used to have no issues going shirtless as much as I could but after getting slightly meatier I’m definitely more self conscious now when I take my shirt off in public.

 

I know this is kind of a ‘first world problem’ and obviously I am okay and don’t really have issues with my body or whatever, I did put in some work for it so obviously I want it, just wish people wouldn’t put me on the spot like that (and probably wish more cute gay guys would do that with me instead of women and straight guys 😂)

 

i know i should enjoy it and appreciate it all but I can’t help feeling the awkwardness. A lot of big guys on here so I was wondering if anyone had any good ways to handle this or comebacks/smartass replies i can use if it happens again. :D

 

[Veloster]

Awesome ..just enjoy the process becos you worked hard at it...just be confident and be yourself...cheers!

[Thatguy642]

6 minutes ago, Veloster said:

Awesome ..just enjoy the process becos you worked hard at it...just be confident and be yourself...cheers!

Trying to! I’m enjoying it but a part of me feels like I need to hide it. Maybe I need to be sluttier 😂

[feilyxnixx]

have it , flaunt it , make full use of it. continue with what ur doing! just remember to keep an open mind to accept friendly jokes/compliments and be humble 😃 

Edited March 5 by feilyxnixx

[Thatguy642]

7 minutes ago, feilyxnixx said:

have it , flaunt it , make full use of it. just remember to be humble 😃 

Definitely. Still an extremely long way to go until I’m actually satisfied with where I’m at but enjoying the process a lot nowadays   Thanks for the reminder!

[jcboy18]

you worked hard for this body! wear it proudly but of course not too proudly, be confident in your new self and about the part of ppl getting too touchy, maybe you can mention to them tht youre not too comfortable with people touching you like that yet! always draw boundaries when needed :)

[Startup]

1 hour ago, Thatguy642 said:

Can’t think of a good title for this, but it’s something I’ve noticed for myself and I was wondering about how other people feel about it, how they dealt with it, their experiences, etc.:

 

Ever since I started gaining a bit of muscle I notice that I get a lot more attention. With sexual encounters obviously it’s fine and I enjoy the attention (of course) but it’s a bit weirder and a little bit embarrassing when even your boss makes comments. I’m not even a bodybuilder and even now it’s at a point where even straight guys/ women will make comments on it and make it a point of discussion in conversation which is, while very flattering, pretty uncomfortable.

 

I have to admit that a part of me enjoys it because people seem to be more touchy now, but at the same time it makes me shy because I don’t really know how to respond, so I find myself wearing baggier clothes now even though I really enjoy the way a nice fitting shirt hugs the body, just so I get less attention.
 

After doing that I also start to notice a lot of huge guys in the gym wearing baggy sweaters/clothes but obviously those gains can’t be hidden, they’re like 3x my size haha. I’m still small enough to look skinny in clothes. I think the issue is that I still don’t know how to respond so how do you guys respond?

 

I used to have no issues going shirtless as much as I could but after getting slightly meatier I’m definitely more self conscious now when I take my shirt off in public.

 

I know this is kind of a ‘first world problem’ and obviously I am okay and don’t really have issues with my body or whatever, I did put in some work for it so obviously I want it, just wish people wouldn’t put me on the spot like that (and probably wish more cute gay guys would do that with me instead of women and straight guys 😂)

 

i know i should enjoy it and appreciate it all but I can’t help feeling the awkwardness. A lot of big guys on here so I was wondering if anyone had any good ways to handle this or comebacks/smartass replies i can use if it happens again.

 

It's going to sound counterintuitive but people's response to you is actually a reflection of your self image.

 

You strive for self acceptance of your own body. People pick it up and try in various ways to validate you. But it ends up feeling awkward cos you never asked for such validation outwardly anyway. 

 

Your feeling awkward or self-conscious is just a reminder for you to learn to be at peace with yourself.

[yhtang]

Initially, I thought your post is about your penis having grown bigger, and I was all interested.  Turns out it was your body instead.  Still, I am happy for you that your body is drawing you lots of attention.

 

You have worked hard for it, and there is no reason not to bask in the attention you are receiving.

 

In my case, the only growth I managed was my belly, and I am wearing dark coloured loose clothes to try to hid it.  😁

[Thatguy642]

59 minutes ago, Startup said:

It's going to sound counterintuitive but people's response to you is actually a reflection of your self image.

 

You strive for self acceptance of your own body. People pick it up and try in various ways to validate you. But it ends up feeling awkward cos you never asked for such validation outwardly anyway. 

 

Your feeling awkward or self-conscious is just a reminder for you to learn to be at peace with yourself.

Doesn’t sound counter intuitive at all. Pretty interesting observation. I think we all want to be better and that’s what drives us forward but I don’t think that’s the whole issue either at least for me.
 

Sometimes it’s something simple like just being at the beach or something and taking off my shirt now makes me feel self conscious because I get comments, etc. when before I never did. Almost makes me feel like I’m showing off because of the unwanted attention when I’m just trying to get a tan and swim haha. But yeah who cares? Sounds silly now that I write it but maybe some day someone can relate!

 

52 minutes ago, yhtang said:

Initially, I thought your post is about your penis having grown bigger, and I was all interested.  Turns out it was your body instead.  Still, I am happy for you that your body is drawing you lots of attention.

 

You have worked hard for it, and there is no reason not to bask in the attention you are receiving.

 

In my case, the only growth I managed was my belly, and I am wearing dark coloured loose clothes to try to hid it.  😁

haha well it does seem like my penis might have grown but I think it’s just because there’s less belly blocking it now! 

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, Thatguy642 said:

Can’t think of a good title for this, but it’s something I’ve noticed for myself and I was wondering about how other people feel about it, how they dealt with it, their experiences, etc.:

 

Ever since I started gaining a bit of muscle I notice that I get a lot more attention. With sexual encounters obviously it’s fine and I enjoy the attention (of course) but it’s a bit weirder and a little bit embarrassing when even your boss makes comments. I’m not even a bodybuilder and even now it’s at a point where even straight guys/ women will make comments on it and make it a point of discussion in conversation which is, while very flattering, pretty uncomfortable.

 

I have to admit that a part of me enjoys it because people seem to be more touchy now, but at the same time it makes me shy because I don’t really know how to respond, so I find myself wearing baggier clothes now even though I really enjoy the way a nice fitting shirt hugs the body, just so I get less attention.
 

After doing that I also start to notice a lot of huge guys in the gym wearing baggy sweaters/clothes but obviously those gains can’t be hidden, they’re like 3x my size haha. I’m still small enough to look skinny in clothes. I think the issue is that I still don’t know how to respond so how do you guys respond?

 

I used to have no issues going shirtless as much as I could but after getting slightly meatier I’m definitely more self conscious now when I take my shirt off in public.

 

I know this is kind of a ‘first world problem’ and obviously I am okay and don’t really have issues with my body or whatever, I did put in some work for it so obviously I want it, just wish people wouldn’t put me on the spot like that (and probably wish more cute gay guys would do that with me instead of women and straight guys 😂)

 

i know i should enjoy it and appreciate it all but I can’t help feeling the awkwardness. A lot of big guys on here so I was wondering if anyone had any good ways to handle this or comebacks/smartass replies i can use if it happens again.

 

 

Congratulations!  Your posting makes you a role model.  Especially for us gays who start out as shy guys easy to be intimidated.  Your message is: pay some good attention to your physical body,  work out hard to build a better, bigger physique, and your self-esteem will get a boost from the reactions of those around you.  

 

As a teenager and young guy I did like you do and I had a similar result.  But even more so now as a senior, still working out, practicing a martial art, and doing exercises to keep straight and fight the tendency of us older men to bend forwards and look to the floor.  With this, people don't think that I am an octogenarian,  and only know it when I tell them.  Ohhh... ahhh... is their response .  And now there is not much merit with this since I have all the time in the world to do it!

[XgymX]

Haha I had such a phase too. But i soon got used to it, whether it's people's praising or them being more touchy. 

Maybe it is also because I got more confident too.

So no need to intentionally hide the bod that you painstakingly trained!

[radiusulnar]

Congratulations! Such a wonderful problem to have.

[egal]

i wish i had this prob

 

lol

 

[doncoin]

I experienced similar feelings and was super self-conscious when I was younger and training to get bigger. But after a while, I just got used to it and accept that this is my body now and stopped worrying what other think.  I wear what I like and compliments my physique, i.e. thong on the beach/pool, short shorts, etc.  Suits I used to wear to work were altered and tapered to enhance the physique. Definitely on the vain train. Guess what? Like you I worked hard to get that physique, and if I want to flaunt it, it is my right. At least when I am in a tiny thong on the beach, i am not a joke. Stop worrying about what others think. 

[ReubenH]

Haha I feel you. At a similar phase now where ppl ask if you’re into body building, on contrary, I’m trying to cut. It’s conflicting and I’m still searching for a better response. Ha would love to know how you respond to that.

[Thatguy642]

17 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Congratulations!  Your posting makes you a role model.  Especially for us gays who start out as shy guys easy to be intimidated.  Your message is: pay some good attention to your physical body,  work out hard to build a better, bigger physique, and your self-esteem will get a boost from the reactions of those around you.  

 

As a teenager and young guy I did like you do and I had a similar result.  But even more so now as a senior, still working out, practicing a martial art, and doing exercises to keep straight and fight the tendency of us older men to bend forwards and look to the floor.  With this, people don't think that I am an octogenarian,  and only know it when I tell them.  Ohhh... ahhh... is their response .  And now there is not much merit with this since I have all the time in the world to do it!

I do need to consider picking up a martial art! Much better functionally and probably will help so much with overall fitness. But yes, it definitely does wonders for my self-esteem, as cheesy as that may sound. I do appreciate it but I figured I’m just not used to it yet and am unsure of how to react, but in time it’ll be second nature.  

 

17 hours ago, XgymX said:

Haha I had such a phase too. But i soon got used to it, whether it's people's praising or them being more touchy. 

Maybe it is also because I got more confident too.

So no need to intentionally hide the bod that you painstakingly trained!

well if I had a body like yours I’d definitely want to show it more! I’m still not fully satisfied yet with where I’m at (but are any of us, really?) but also I think I’ll get used to it the same way hopefully! It’ll just take time I’ve figured.

 

8 hours ago, doncoin said:

I experienced similar feelings and was super self-conscious when I was younger and training to get bigger. But after a while, I just got used to it and accept that this is my body now and stopped worrying what other think.  I wear what I like and compliments my physique, i.e. thong on the beach/pool, short shorts, etc.  Suits I used to wear to work were altered and tapered to enhance the physique. Definitely on the vain train. Guess what? Like you I worked hard to get that physique, and if I want to flaunt it, it is my right. At least when I am in a tiny thong on the beach, i am not a joke. Stop worrying about what others think. 

 I guess for me I haven’t fully realized that I am actually slightly more muscular than average because I still feel skinny and weak, but I’m already feeling a bit more aware and conscious of it so I’ll definitely get used to it eventually. Thanks for sharing  
 

Actually really curious about maybe finally getting a proper tailored suit but I have a little more size to add before I’ll be happy!

6 hours ago, ReubenH said:

Haha I feel you. At a similar phase now where ppl ask if you’re into body building, on contrary, I’m trying to cut. It’s conflicting and I’m still searching for a better response. Ha would love to know how you respond to that.

With pecs like that of course people would assume you’re into bodybuilding! For me at least I’m always pretty sheepish and unsure what to say but the past couple of times I had people asking how often I worked out, etc. I just say yeah it’s a newfound hobby and it’s been really fun, and it’s almost like a challenge to yourself to beat your previous scores (weight, reps, etc.) 

 

but when people are just pretty much giving compliments I really don’t know how to respond gracefully. Hence, the post! Haha.

 

[ReubenH]

35 minutes ago, Thatguy642 said:

I do need to consider picking up a martial art! Much better functionally and probably will help so much with overall fitness. But yes, it definitely does wonders for my self-esteem, as cheesy as that may sound. I do appreciate it but I figured I’m just not used to it yet and am unsure of how to react, but in time it’ll be second nature.  

 

well if I had a body like yours I’d definitely want to show it more! I’m still not fully satisfied yet with where I’m at (but are any of us, really?) but also I think I’ll get used to it the same way hopefully! It’ll just take time I’ve figured.

 

 I guess for me I haven’t fully realized that I am actually slightly more muscular than average because I still feel skinny and weak, but I’m already feeling a bit more aware and conscious of it so I’ll definitely get used to it eventually. Thanks for sharing  
 

Actually really curious about maybe finally getting a proper tailored suit but I have a little more size to add before I’ll be happy!

With pecs like that of course people would assume you’re into bodybuilding! For me at least I’m always pretty sheepish and unsure what to say but the past couple of times I had people asking how often I worked out, etc. I just say yeah it’s a newfound hobby and it’s been really fun, and it’s almost like a challenge to yourself to beat your previous scores (weight, reps, etc.) 

 

but when people are just pretty much giving compliments I really don’t know how to respond gracefully. Hence, the post! Haha.

 

Haha I would usually just say ‘thank you.’ 

[davlim76]

Was at the barber and he complimented me on my build and asked if I'm into bodybuilding. I just laughed it off trying to downplay it and said no lah I'm just playing around in the gym. His reply: wah just playing around and already like that! Me: ok lah (smiling)

[fetish72]

14 hours ago, doncoin said:

I experienced similar feelings and was super self-conscious when I was younger and training to get bigger. But after a while, I just got used to it and accept that this is my body now and stopped worrying what other think.  I wear what I like and compliments my physique, i.e. thong on the beach/pool, short shorts, etc.  Suits I used to wear to work were altered and tapered to enhance the physique. Definitely on the vain train. Guess what? Like you I worked hard to get that physique, and if I want to flaunt it, it is my right. At least when I am in a tiny thong on the beach, i am not a joke. Stop worrying about what others think. 

I fully agreed with your statement. In my late teens i more to lean as when i was in jc I more into swimming slowly hit to gym. When i in the national service i was in the force. That is when i see one of the officer he look good in uniform. Till one fine day i saw him shower without closing the door. Till i saw his nude tight bods.

Till one day i approached him to trained and advised about supplements. After that day no turning back frm there onward i flaunt my muscle tend to wear tiny super low undies or swimming trunk,thong,g-string. 

Even at the gym i take my time to strip to change even suntanning in very tiny skimpy gear. Feel good ppl looked at me. My hard work paid off.

[K._]

My str8 colleague the other day just squeezed my bicep in the office full of ppl and saying Wah got shape liao and I said ya all the while I got it just that u never notice (awkward laughter) and I squirmed in embarrassment… can’t stand the bro tease 😳

It was my first time wearing a bit body hugging shirt and the office people never seen me in this kind of shirt before… actually I was contemplating for a while at home whether to wear it or not coz it was really accentuating my body shape but I just gave it a try.. and I’m not a big person to begin with.. now I really feel self conscious and would never wear this kind of attire to office anymore as I really don’t want to draw attention to myself at least in office lol

Edited March 6 by K._

[iKneadyou]

Interesting topic

[Steve5380]

13 hours ago, Thatguy642 said:

\

I do need to consider picking up a martial art! Much better functionally and probably will help so much with overall fitness.

 

 

If you are going to pick up a martial art, I need to warn you about Aikido:  it is addictive!   It goes beyond and complements the gym by providing stretching, balance, posture, falling and rolling, and smart defensive skills, all in a social environment of friendly educated people, like professionals, who are not into fighting. Many aikidokas practice it for decades!  And IT IS FUN!  Being proficient in the martial arts one extrudes confidence, and... civility!   Aikido is also very safe:  serious injuries never happen,  at most one can get a little hurt at the beginning from falling and incorrect techniques.  The principal Shihan ( top master ) in my organization was a disciple of the founder of Aikido,  and now he is in his late 80s and... still practices it!

[Why?]

Don't be so addicted to attention.  I know I don't.    I hate destraction, transient affection.   Even though I am aware that I am a priced catch there, I concentrate on my task, complete it, take a shower, pack up, and leave the training facility.  No flaunting, no drama, less gayish and return other people the space they needed.

[Thatguy642]

31 minutes ago, Why? said:

Don't be so addicted to attention.  I know I don't.    I hate destraction, transient affection.   Even though I am aware that I am a priced catch there, I concentrate on my task, complete it, take a shower, pack up, and leave the training facility.  No flaunting, no drama, less gayish and return other people the space they needed.

Well first of all I don’t think I am a prized catch nor have I ever thought of myself in that way, so that’s not really an issue there. I’m just thinking out loud and wondering how to gracefully accept compliments and not be so awkward, but I’ve learned that just comes with time!

[tinkero]

Been busy working for the last few years... need to catch up on my fitness!!

[mate69]

6 minutes ago, tinkero said:

Been busy working for the last few years... need to catch up on my fitness!!

Same! Too busy with work! 

[tinkero]

4 minutes ago, mate69 said:

Same! Too busy with work! 

Yea, at 45, I've really let myself go physically in the last few years, gonna do some aesthetics treatment in KL next month too!... now that I have time, wanna get back to the dating scene haha

[Thatguy642]

25 minutes ago, tinkero said:

Been busy working for the last few years... need to catch up on my fitness!!

 

17 minutes ago, mate69 said:

Same! Too busy with work! 

Best advice I’ve heard is to take it one day at a time and trust the process! So far it’s been fine but the important thing is that you consciously decide every day (or however many days per week) to work out (whatever that may be) 

 

prioritise, set some time and train hard, eat well and your body will change before you notice it! We got this  

[iKneadyou]

54 minutes ago, tinkero said:

Yea, at 45, I've really let myself go physically in the last few years, gonna do some aesthetics treatment in KL next month too!... now that I have time, wanna get back to the dating scene haha

Yay all the best

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, tinkero said:

Yea, at 45, I've really let myself go physically in the last few years, gonna do some aesthetics treatment in KL next month too!... now that I have time, wanna get back to the dating scene haha

 

Now at 45 is a perfect time to follow the advice of @Thatguy642 of working on your physical body one day at the time, with the objective that in a few years, before 50, you will be handsome and in demand, instead of being rejected. Same later when you are middle aged. And when you are senior you remain healthy and fully functional, and looking 20 years younger.  For this,  workout is only one part.  Equally important is that you become an expert in nutrition,  stay away from processed, junk foods, and avoid all the typical chronic diseases.

[Torrent]

When your body gets built up, you either:

 

1. Remain the same humble person as you are and retaining most of your positive inner qualities while still having some level of confident boost

 

...or

 

2. Get to the far end of the spectrum, start judging people who aren't like you (which you were at the beginning), shallow/insecure/egoistic

 

Ask yourself who and why are you going on a gym journey for, so you don't get lost along the way or when you get there. Naturally, people will start to see the external changes in you as time passes, which is good otherwise god forbid you've been training for over a decade or more and nobody says anything, that's even more demoralizing. Accepting compliments is loving yourself so as long as you don't let it go to your head. And set boundaries; it doesn't matter if it's a straight/gay guy or a woman, nobody is allowed to touch you or make you feel uncomfortable without your permission.

 

You're an adult, I'm sure you're able to differentiate which is a compliment, a tease or something overboard (in terms of sexual harrassment). 

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, Torrent said:

 

Ask yourself who and why are you going on a gym journey for, so you don't get lost along the way or when you get there. Naturally, people will start to see the external changes in you as time passes, which is good otherwise god forbid you've been training for over a decade or more and nobody says anything, that's even more demoralizing. Accepting compliments is loving yourself so as long as you don't let it go to your head. And set boundaries; it doesn't matter if it's a straight/gay guy or a woman, nobody is allowed to touch you or make you feel uncomfortable without your permission.

 

You're an adult, I'm sure you're able to differentiate which is a compliment, a tease or something overboard (in terms of sexual harrassment). 

 

You are addressing a limited case where people train to impress others and get complimented.  Fortunately, there are those who have learned the HEALTH and FUNCTIONAL BENEFITS of having a strong body.  This is specially important after the period in life when becoming attractive is the main goal in life!

[Thatguy642]

9 hours ago, Torrent said:

When your body gets built up, you either:

 

1. Remain the same humble person as you are and retaining most of your positive inner qualities while still having some level of confident boost

 

...or

 

2. Get to the far end of the spectrum, start judging people who aren't like you (which you were at the beginning), shallow/insecure/egoistic

 

Ask yourself who and why are you going on a gym journey for, so you don't get lost along the way or when you get there. Naturally, people will start to see the external changes in you as time passes, which is good otherwise god forbid you've been training for over a decade or more and nobody says anything, that's even more demoralizing. Accepting compliments is loving yourself so as long as you don't let it go to your head. And set boundaries; it doesn't matter if it's a straight/gay guy or a woman, nobody is allowed to touch you or make you feel uncomfortable without your permission.

 

You're an adult, I'm sure you're able to differentiate which is a compliment, a tease or something overboard (in terms of sexual harrassment). 

These are fair points and made me think a little. 

I think a part of my current insecurities and inability to accept compliments 1000% stemmed from being bullied for being an overweight teenager (you know how it is in school haha) and because of that I pretty much cut out a lot of food and started to try running, etc. which made me become pretty sickly thin.

 

I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, been called everything from a useless ugly fat boy to ‘are you doing drugs’ and ‘do you have an eating disorder or something?’

 

As I get older and become closer to an adult (or what I think an adult is haha) I do put less weight on what others said, but I’ve already been attacked with a pretty big spectrum of body shaming growing up and I’m definitely feeling the aftermath. 
 

This goes back to the body dysmorphia that I actually have, and my own mind and past experiences make it hard for me to tell if it’s a joke when people start commenting on my body in a good way. 
 

‘Damn your arms are looking good’

 

I’m thinking I’m still too skinny and look anorexic.

 

’Wow, you’re ripped!’

 

I’m thinking ‘how can I be ripped if I still have this layer of fat over my belly?’

 

I’m fully aware this is super unhealthy and I have been making some progress in giving myself some credit. I’ve been super inconsistent in the gym but these past few months I’ve been going pretty religiously so by all logical accounts it’s obvious that I am making some progress.

 

Now I’m learning to be a bit more graceful and accepting of myself, and to actually accept and believe compliments that people give, but there will always be that initial knee jerk reaction: ‘they’re just being nice’ or ‘they’re lying’ which spins me into, ‘should I take their compliment seriously and accept it?’ or ‘should I treat it like the joke/banter it probably is and just laugh it off because they’re probably not serious?’

 

sorry for the wall of text, but I feel it goes a bit deeper than what you initially commented. 
 

I take full responsibility though and I realize I can’t fully change what people say/do/think but I can fully change how I respond to those things

 

Glad to report, though, that I can feel myself making conscious decisions to change the way I respond to these things and this topic was opened because I wanted to hear from others. All it did, really, was show me exactly how much I’m just overthinking.

 

It’s a work in progress both physically and more importantly, mentally. I’m very grateful though.

[singalion]

Isn't the issue quite similar to unwanted attention if you have a bigger tool than the average... ha ha

[singalion]

9 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

You are addressing a limited case where people train to impress others and get complimented.  Fortunately, there are those who have learned the HEALTH and FUNCTIONAL BENEFITS of having a strong body.  This is specially important after the period in life when becoming attractive is the main goal in life!

 

You are right as long people don't overdo and don't take certain unhealthy supplements to enhance the muscle building, speed it up or maintain.

 

 

Overuse of muscle-building products associated with body image condition

Canadian researchers explored how the pressure to meet muscular body standards may drive young people to use supplements more often.

 

Feb. 22, 2025, 1:14 AM GMT+8

By Katie Camero

 

Muscle-building supplements are increasingly popular with teen boys and young men. New research suggests overuse of products like whey powder or creatine may be affecting young people’s mental health as well as their their physical health.

A Canadian study, published Wednesday in the journal PLOS Mental Health, finds that young people who consume multiple muscle-building products are more likely to show symptoms of a condition called muscle dysphoria.

 

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/mens-health/overuse-muscle-building-products-associated-body-image-condition-rcna192805

 

This muscular look thing can also turn into an obsession, similar to an addiction and when the body fails or doesn't match the wanted outcome, people end up stressed, depressed or mentally unstable.

Learn to know where you draw the line.

 

 

 

Edited March 8 by singalion

[Torrent]

4 hours ago, Thatguy642 said:

These are fair points and made me think a little. 

I think a part of my current insecurities and inability to accept compliments 1000% stemmed from being bullied for being an overweight teenager (you know how it is in school haha) and because of that I pretty much cut out a lot of food and started to try running, etc. which made me become pretty sickly thin.

 

I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, been called everything from a useless ugly fat boy to ‘are you doing drugs’ and ‘do you have an eating disorder or something?’

 

As I get older and become closer to an adult (or what I think an adult is haha) I do put less weight on what others said, but I’ve already been attacked with a pretty big spectrum of body shaming growing up and I’m definitely feeling the aftermath. 
 

This goes back to the body dysmorphia that I actually have, and my own mind and past experiences make it hard for me to tell if it’s a joke when people start commenting on my body in a good way. 
 

‘Damn your arms are looking good’

 

I’m thinking I’m still too skinny and look anorexic.

 

’Wow, you’re ripped!’

 

I’m thinking ‘how can I be ripped if I still have this layer of fat over my belly?’

 

I’m fully aware this is super unhealthy and I have been making some progress in giving myself some credit. I’ve been super inconsistent in the gym but these past few months I’ve been going pretty religiously so by all logical accounts it’s obvious that I am making some progress.

 

Now I’m learning to be a bit more graceful and accepting of myself, and to actually accept and believe compliments that people give, but there will always be that initial knee jerk reaction: ‘they’re just being nice’ or ‘they’re lying’ which spins me into, ‘should I take their compliment seriously and accept it?’ or ‘should I treat it like the joke/banter it probably is and just laugh it off because they’re probably not serious?’

 

sorry for the wall of text, but I feel it goes a bit deeper than what you initially commented. 
 

I take full responsibility though and I realize I can’t fully change what people say/do/think but I can fully change how I respond to those things

 

Glad to report, though, that I can feel myself making conscious decisions to change the way I respond to these things and this topic was opened because I wanted to hear from others. All it did, really, was show me exactly how much I’m just overthinking.

 

It’s a work in progress both physically and more importantly, mentally. I’m very grateful though.

 

We are our greatest critic, there will always be two voices, one of encouragement, and one of negativity. Who you choose to listen to is a conscious choice. 

 

Also, you should know that beauty is subjective. Everyone has a different POV when it comes to what is considered good looking, although going by society's current standards, lean fit muscle (according to your DP) is a fairly safe place to be in. If you're getting compliments, it means your efforts are paying off and you need to learn to accept them with grace (putting aside the blatant uncomfortable comments/touching).

 

I used to be very skinny, I spent a lot of effort (and $) working out in the gym over the past few years. It has certainly paid off, I'm noticing more heads turn, comments given by family/friends etc. When I mention I'm going to the gym after work, it becomes a big hooha among colleagues. I've also increasingly being more comfortable going shirtless, even in the changing room among other guys. 

 

End of the day, I still feel like I'm not satisified with my current progress and want to aim for higher, but I have learned to take compliments when I deserve it, of course while still remaining humble. If someone says I can run for Mr Universe, then that's exaggeration and I'll put a stop to it. I saw what you wrote on your profile, don't be too hard on yourself, just adopt a healthy mindset and leave the rest to nature.

[egal]

it is mind n body

[anxiousfriedtofu]

In my experience, whether I was skinny, chubby or muscular, people always made a remark: "Oh you've slimmed down", "Oh, your life so shiok eat so much good food", Oh, nice body", etc. i.e. a form of attention.

 

My transformation across the three made me realize that you'll still get attention no matter what kind of physical appearance you may have. Just that, when it comes to being muscular, the halo effect is to your advantage. People just want to have something to do with you hence they wanna obtain reciprocal attention.

 

For me, the akwardness felt during moments of compliments made me more emotionally aware. More importantly, my physical body should be a compliment to whats inside (which is a bigger work in progress).

[radiusulnar]

I must confess I was envious reading most of the posts here because they described getting wanted or unwanted attention from body changes.

 

Which attention I subconsciously crave on some level. Except that no one bothers enough to notice me in the first place

[Startup]

My experience is quite different. Recently, I went for a TCM guasha massage and I had to strip myself down to a pair of shorts. The lady whom I met for the first time said while I was lying on my tummy, if only you were a woman, your body would be perfect. Your body is slender, your legs are long, 该有肉的地方有肉，该瘦的地方瘦. I was thinking wtf. In the past, I would have been offended. But I just told myself to accept it. 

[Thatguy642]

8 hours ago, anxiousfriedtofu said:

In my experience, whether I was skinny, chubby or muscular, people always made a remark: "Oh you've slimmed down", "Oh, your life so shiok eat so much good food", Oh, nice body", etc. i.e. a form of attention.

 

My transformation across the three made me realize that you'll still get attention no matter what kind of physical appearance you may have. Just that, when it comes to being muscular, the halo effect is to your advantage. People just want to have something to do with you hence they wanna obtain reciprocal attention.

 

For me, the akwardness felt during moments of compliments made me more emotionally aware. More importantly, my physical body should be a compliment to whats inside (which is a bigger work in progress).

Honestly you’re so right with the halo effect. It’s something I’ve heard of before but never experienced or taken notice until fairly recently. I was at a party recently and didn’t know anyone except the host and I put in almost no effort to socialise but had people coming up to talk to me unprompted.

 

I’m not sure if it’s just the guys at the party but it’s pretty obvious everyone’s a bit more ‘bro’ with you. Also get a lot of chest/stomach pats during conversation, which is something I really notice cause those are very sensitive parts of my body and nobody has ever casually touched my chest when I was very skinny/chubby.

 

but yes, a lot of it is inner work as well. I think the fact that I know I can discipline myself enough to stick (well enough) to a routine helps give me confidence in everyday situations. I’m doing pretty well mentally now in general compared to before even before I started working out but I’ve been trying to work on myself for a long time now  

3 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

I must confess I was envious reading most of the posts here because they described getting wanted or unwanted attention from body changes.

 

Which attention I subconsciously crave on some level. Except that no one bothers enough to notice me in the first place

A lot of it probably has to do with your face too. If you are a smiley guy or just look approachable people tend to notice you more. If you’re frowning all the time and look mad people subconsciously block you out because you may seem negative

 

Also, with as much muscle mass as you have I’d think if your face doesn’t look approachable people would just be scared of you, so maybe smile more if you’re not doing that already! It’s hard for people to not notice a genuine smile.

47 minutes ago, Startup said:

My experience is quite different. Recently, I went for a TCM guasha massage and I had to strip myself down to a pair of shorts. The lady whom I met for the first time said while I was lying on my tummy, if only you were a woman, your body would be perfect. Your body is slender, your legs are long, 该有肉的地方有肉，该瘦的地方瘦. I was thinking wtf. In the past, I would have been offended. But I just told myself to accept it. 

God that would be an interesting comment to get, glad you didn’t yell at her! I’m sure some guys love it 😉

 

Actually, I read somewhere that it’s super unprofessional for massage therapists to comment on your body. I’ve had a few comment on mine as well but apparently it’s a no no in the massage community.
 

I’d take it as a compliment either way, some women have beautiful bodies   

[radiusulnar]

4 hours ago, Thatguy642 said:

A lot of it probably has to do with your face too.

 

A face only a mother could love.

 

[Thatguy642]

5 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

 

A face only a mother could love.

 

Hopefully you’re just playing around because if you don’t respect or love yourself, other people will notice it and it will be harder for them to respect and love you if you don’t show them that you don’t even deserve it from yourself.

[feilyxnixx]

3 hours ago, Thatguy642 said:

Hopefully you’re just playing around because if you don’t respect or love yourself, other people will notice it and it will be harder for them to respect and love you if you don’t show them that you don’t even deserve it from yourself.

 

i dont think its a 'respect' thing...

 

there is something called...'thats just how it is' or 'natural'. 😅

[Thatguy642]

21 minutes ago, feilyxnixx said:

 

i dont think its a 'respect' thing...

 

there is something called...'thats just how it is' or 'natural'. 😅

I’m not sure what you’re trying to say!
 

You can have a resting bitch face and still put out good vibes and positive energy. Saying we’re ‘naturally’ something is a lot of times an excuse to not work on ourselves.

[davlim76]

11 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

 

A face only a mother could love.

 

Your bod certainly would attract attention. Some guys just go for the bod, looks not important. 

[radiusulnar]

9 hours ago, davlim76 said:

just go for the bod,

 

In most social settings the face is always visible, so that's where most of the points are scored. Bod points may not be able to catch up. 😂 

[tinkero]

15 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

 

In most social settings the face is always visible, so that's where most of the points are scored. Bod points may not be able to catch up. 😂 

 

 

Haha depends la, I think I (face) got abbit la, everything else cui like f .. ppl see me machiam see ogre run away haha.....  

 

So the most PC answer is in most social setting, u need at least 60- 70% of everything 

[murano]

wear a fat suit

[Thatguy642]

1 hour ago, murano said:

wear a fat suit

I will if you pay for it! 😂