kidster Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 (edited) HE: "For fun, yes. For relationship, no!" ME:.... Whenever you meet someone new online but have not met each other yet, do you immediately categorize them into FB and potential BF? How could someone you don't mind having sex with don't qualify to be your potential BF? Is it because he is close to your ideal but not your ideal? Is it because you like his body/dick but don't like his face or vice versa? There is something you wish in your bf that he is lacking off and you immediately write him off. Edited March 13 by kidster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imht Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 (edited) You forget those who want NSA fun only. They do not have the intention to settle down or they are attached with an open relationship. Edited March 13 by Imht Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malabird Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 (edited) I m sitting on the fence, human have needs (Sex for example is an immediate needs for many, as long as not addictive is fine). Relationship is also a needs but a higher order and a conditional / dependent need, this usually take place after the satisfying the immediate needs. 😄 M2M relationship is commonly started with sexual intimacy before finding emotional connection. Just my two cents. Edited March 14 by Malabird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thatguy642 Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 I would never be able to think of anyone I haven’t met yet in real life as a potential romantic partner. That only happens as I get to know the person better. I am definitely attracted to a lot of people, though, but partner material is a lot more than physical attraction and I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who I thought of as a potential partner from the get-go. AgentFit and nipslikesugar 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reece7700 Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Physical attraction is like a spark. Passionate but burns out quickly. Like many fwb relationships. A ltr partner is like an ember. Burns slow and steady. But it's hard to achieve. Fan too much and the ember turns into a flames and burns out. Fan too slow and it turns into ash. My opinion above. SunPlaza, AgentFit and doncoin 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkero Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 I talk a lot of shit,get attracted easily, but don't get me wrong ah, at 45yo, abbit jaded, will never make first move. Maybe it's a way I protect myself. Buddies, having lots of fun ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 On 3/14/2025 at 8:42 AM, tinkero said: I talk a lot of shit,get attracted easily, but don't get me wrong ah, at 45yo, abbit jaded, will never make first move. Maybe it's a way I protect myself. Buddies, having lots of fun ! Making the first move can be difficult because of the risk of potential bad feeling if rejected. But at 45 you are slowly coming to a stage where YOU are expected to be the one who makes the first move. Unless your charisma is very special. Become conscient of the reasons you hesitate making the first move, and work to reduce these reasons. Making the first move does not impede to protect yourself. After all, the FIRST move does not need to be the DEFINITE move. It is not like the decision to buy your house, your car, or other highly binding decisions. AgentFit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkero Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 7 hours ago, Steve5380 said: Making the first move can be difficult because of the risk of potential bad feeling if rejected. But at 45 you are slowly coming to a stage where YOU are expected to be the one who makes the first move. Unless your charisma is very special. Become conscient of the reasons you hesitate making the first move, and work to reduce these reasons. Making the first move does not impede to protect yourself. After all, the FIRST move does not need to be the DEFINITE move. It is not like the decision to buy your house, your car, or other highly binding decisions. Really?! In fact, for most matters, I decide very fast, even when buying a house, took me less than a month! I don't wanna fall into a stage of procrastination. But for matters of the heart, I'm not so sure. Sometimes, it's just not acceptance or rejection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 8 hours ago, tinkero said: Really?! In fact, for most matters, I decide very fast, even when buying a house, took me less than a month! I don't wanna fall into a stage of procrastination. But for matters of the heart, I'm not so sure. Sometimes, it's just not acceptance or rejection. Well, then take your time. Matters of the heart can be complicated, yet it is wise to have them, not ignoring them. At 45, it's a good age to have them. I reacted mostly to your idea of "protecting yourself". A gay relationship is nothing formal in Singapore, not like a marriage with the possibility of having children. You can get out of it at any time, with emotional consequences of course, but little economical loss if you are careful not to expose yourself too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 On 3/13/2025 at 8:15 PM, kidster said: HE: "For fun, yes. For relationship, no!" ME:.... Whenever you meet someone new online but have not met each other yet, do you immediately categorize them into FB and potential BF? How could someone you don't mind having sex with don't qualify to be your potential BF? Is it because he is close to your ideal but not your ideal? Is it because you like his body/dick but don't like his face or vice versa? There is something you wish in your bf that he is lacking off and you immediately write him off. That would strongly depend on the aim on any online platform wouldn't it? meaning it would depend if you actually look for any potential BF. 90% of guys on those dating apps are just chasing casual fun and not searching for any BF. Looking at it as a sex date, I wouldn't categorise anybody at all. Maybe after meeting someone more than 3 times and if you are willing to venture into more casual non sex related events, then maybe it might be an approach. But all in all, I guess most successful BF relationships started with non sexual things, seeing someone in a cafe/ restaurant, bumping on someone in a non sexual setting (public transport, shopping mall etc) Taking the essence from your various replies and threads, I think you have a general issue that you are wanting a BF and then always judge any sex date also as a BF dating activity. However, I don't think this works and the strategy is prone for frustration and rejections. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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