Singapore Local Gay News [LGBT Related News] (Compiled)

[Guest Peter]

http://www.straitstimes.com/news/singapore/courts-crime/story/blood-donor-jailed-15-weeks-and-fined-10000-false-declaration-2015

2015 - he is 23 when he is charged

2012 - he was 20 when he donated blood

2011 - he was 19 when he had one night stand after a few drinks

This is simple mathematics. I can't help but to relate to the recent news in gay circle that the HIV was spread from a Vietnamese studying in local U. He is a dragon boater and spread to many Jack'd, Grindr users. Needless to repeat - the gays who love dragon boat.

Young. Muscular. Six pack. Cute. Tanned. Great smile. Are we talking about 'quality' here ??? Lol

[bluerunner]

Be safe. You have only one precious life, don't waste it!

[Guest Kpp]

Beside anal sex, HIV can be transmitted though oral sex without condom too. How many of us do oral sex with condom?

[Guest knowledge]

Beside anal sex, HIV can be transmitted though oral sex without condom too. How many of us do oral sex with condom?

 

Chances of acquiring HIV through oral sex is extremely rare, but let's not forget other STDs which are passed on easily through this mean.

[Guest Guest]

Does it mean that a truthful declaration is like admitting that you have committed an offence with 377A?

[Guest Guest]

http://www.straitstimes.com/news/singapore/courts-crime/story/blood-donor-jailed-15-weeks-and-fined-10000-false-declaration-2015

2015 - he is 23 when he is charged

2012 - he was 20 when he donated blood

2011 - he was 19 when he had one night stand after a few drinks

This is simple mathematics. I can't help but to relate to the recent news in gay circle that the HIV was spread from a Vietnamese studying in local U. He is a dragon boater and spread to many Jack'd, Grindr users. Needless to repeat - the gays who love dragon boat.

Young. Muscular. Six pack. Cute. Tanned. Great smile. Are we talking about 'quality' here ??? Lol

Usually, when such thing happened, the person involved will act innocent by saying that he only had M2M sex once under the influence of alcohol or he's being forced. But is it true? Just go read the Personal page on this forum, those ppl who constantly looking for sex must have infected with HIV long ago?!

[Greatitude]

The defendant was saying that he donated blood just because his friends was asking him to join in donating blood. But still, it does not validate his act where he consciously put false declaration on some questions asked.

[Guest Guest]

The defendant was saying that he donated blood just because his friends was asking him to join in donating blood. But still, it does not validate his act where he consciously put false declaration on some questions asked.

What so difficult to tell his friends No and to give some excuses for not donating blood.

[azimuth]

What so difficult to tell his friends No and to give some excuses for not donating blood.

 

My guess is that he does not know that he has acquired HIV and prefers to be discreet about his sexual encounters with other males.

[Guest Hk]

Poor boy. He doesn't even know he got hiv. And some more need to face such punishment.

[Guest Guest]

i have talked to some potential ons guys before on doing HIV check but they dont seem relectuant...those usually i give them a pass.

 

anyone can confirm on this NUS vietnamese guy?

[Guest Nus]

Imagine he went to sauna for years. Can't find info on this Vietnam guy.

[bigdanbeam]

What so difficult to tell his friends No and to give some excuses for not donating blood.

Lol. Why do you even need any excuses. Just say no. Period.

[fab]

Lol. Why do you even need any excuses. Just say no. Period.

much as i know where u r coming from, i can empathize him given his age n situation then.

[Guest Guest]

Actually it's easy to tell ur peers why u can't donate.

Just tell them u just recovered from sickness n the medication in your blood supposed not allow for donation

[tienkan]

I think his greatest problems now is how to face his parents n hiv treatment. Is messy . Hope he is strong enough to go through this ordeal.God bless him.

[snowball]

be honest and be responsible, you do not need to have hiv+ then you stop donate blood, but once you have sex with strangers

[keyboard]

I have empathy for the guy, if you put yourself in his shoes, at the age of 20. Being the popular kid (smart, cute, non-local, dragon boater etc), how easy would it be to have escaped that situation and then live through it with the repercussions.

also coming from a country that is less progressive in terms of sexuality acceptance, how equipped is the kid in terms of protection. Would it not be like a child given free access to a candy jar day and night.

Note the above is based on speculation since the identity has not been revealed in the article. Nonetheless, how street smart were you when you were 20 and what other stupid things you have done with or even without peer presure. If we were more open about sexuality in singapore, people are free to be whoever they are, no matter the status, the lawyers wont need a gag order in the first place.

[Guest Guest]

What so difficult to tell his friends No and to give some excuses for not donating blood.

 

 

My guess is that he does not know that he has acquired HIV and prefers to be discreet about his sexual encounters with other males.

 

 

Lol. Why do you even need any excuses. Just say no. Period.

 

 

Actually it's easy to tell ur peers why u can't donate.

Just tell them u just recovered from sickness n the medication in your blood supposed not allow for donation

 

i'm working in a healthcare company and the noticeboard has this HSA poster about blood donation do and don't and i find the no M2M sex statement 6 mth before blood donation rather disturbing and discriminating because i dont see why when i am sexually active with my bf who also dont go play around be discriminated

 

yes, there are many occasions where my colleague asked me to donate blood. Dont know why HSA likes to target corporate donation in healthcare companies and they come very often for blood donation.

 

i was given the turned off look and so much of peer pressure that a young and healthy man like me who refuses to donate. but my excuse was to tell them i'm afraid of needles.

 

i rather be looked upon as a cowed than later on get myself into more problems. well although i know im safe but who knows

[Guest Guest]

I have empathy for the guy, if you put yourself in his shoes, at the age of 20. Being the popular kid (smart, cute, non-local, dragon boater etc), how easy would it be to have escaped that situation and then live through it with the repercussions.

also coming from a country that is less progressive in terms of sexuality acceptance, how equipped is the kid in terms of protection. Would it not be like a child given free access to a candy jar day and night.

Note the above is based on speculation since the identity has not been revealed in the article. Nonetheless, how street smart were you when you were 20 and what other stupid things you have done with or even without peer presure. If we were more open about sexuality in singapore, people are free to be whoever they are, no matter the status, the lawyers wont need a gag order in the first place.

well, i'm not sure if this guy is a local or non local since its clueless but i really empathize with him. he is still young and still have a bright future ahead but now, he has gotten infected.

 

i know medical science has advanced and he will not die from hiv so easily but to survive, he has to depend on the very expensive medication that can cost like $1000 a month for the rest of his life. at his age, he has to face such immerse stress and lightning struck fact that he is hiv+

 

i don know why but from my observation, it seems like more and more younger guys are getting infected. im sure they know about safe sex and i also know how aloof youngsters are nowadays so they dont just sleep with another unless they are young, cute muscular etc.....

 

i personally seen many 20+ yr old hiv+ and they look cute, lean and tonned etc....... its such a pity to see them suffer these.

 

but again, it could be dangerous as well because they know they are well sorted after in the circle so if they decide to spread to others for revenge like the mentioned NUS vietnamese then im sure many will fall for their trap and get infected by them.

[Guest uncle]

He is quite yummy in my eyes

[Guest Susak]

He is quite yummy in my eyes

So is Amos eye's father

Then you two, put on school uniforms, hold hands, roam around J8 to see if he will approach and molest you two. Lol

[Guest guest]

means all gay are nto allow to donate blood. u not sure if yr bf got fool around outside or not even though u stick to one.

[cutejack]

i wont say serve him right bcoz i m not that cruel.wat i notice is most gays no matter young or old likes to have fun around even when they r attached.n i wonder how could a person get infected when he practice a safe sex?

[Guest wozzit]

I did not read the story n so can only guess the background fm posts here. But do the guidelines also refer to straight guys n gals? if a straight guy gets HIV from heterosexual contact, is unaware of his status, he fills in the firm stating he is not gay, yet his blood is found to have the HIV antibodies, will he also b sent to jail?

If you want an excuse for not donating blood, say you had hepatitis B and are not permitted to give blood.

[keyboard]

i'm working in a healthcare company and the noticeboard has this HSA poster about blood donation do and don't and i find the no M2M sex statement 6 mth before blood donation rather disturbing and discriminating because i dont see why when i am sexually active with my bf who also dont go play around be discriminated

 

Was it only for 6 months? The last i remembered was M2M sex is not allowed. Who knows, one day if they do find that "gayness" is from genetically defect genes, they wont even want your blood. (please don't treat me seriously)

 

 

But do the guidelines also refer to straight guys n gals? if a straight guy gets HIV from heterosexual contact, is unaware of his status, he fills in the firm stating he is not gay, yet his blood is found to have the HIV antibodies, will he also b sent to jail?

If you want an excuse for not donating blood, say you had hepatitis B and are not permitted to give blood.

 

So here's an article about a heterosexual man who visited prostitutes and didn't declare it and was sent to jail.

http://yourhealth.asiaone.com/content/hiv-positive-donor-gave-blood-20-years

 

"he had lied to the authorities about visiting prostitutes and had consequently donated HIV-contaminated blood."

Edited May 13, 2015 by keyboard

[keyboard]

i wonder how could a person get infected when he practice a safe sex?

seems like condoms are not 100% safe and the same can be said about pregnancy even with condoms. "accidents" do occur even if it's not visible to the naked eye.

 

 

well, i'm not sure if this guy is a local or non local since its clueless but i really empathize with him. he is still young and still have a bright future ahead but now, he has gotten infected.

 

i know medical science has advanced and he will not die from hiv so easily but to survive, he has to depend on the very expensive medication that can cost like $1000 a month for the rest of his life. at his age, he has to face such immerse stress and lightning struck fact that he is hiv+

 

I won't really comment on the rest of the post, agree some, don't want to stereotype the rest. What i would like to point out is rather, the guy still have bright future ahead of him, it is the social stigma that killed his life (hopefully this will change over time, not holding my breath). With costs of HIV drugs going generic, i think more like $500-800 is more current. Subsidies are starting to come in from the govt (albeit little). However, what makes acquiring HIV more judged with people who gets lung cancer from being a smoker, heart disease from always eating processed food, or skin cancer from someone who worships suntanning? Didn't all these people also self acquired the disease knowing the risks.

[Guest wozzit]

Agree entirely with hannibalism. I used to donate regularly till I was 30. Then I got hepatitis B. Although the antibodies appeared within 2 months n I can infect no one, I am not allowed to give blood. But I respect that rule. The blanket rule against gays is utterly discriminatory - provided there is no sign of the HIV antibody in the blood. No one wants to infect totally defenceless people!

Edited May 13, 2015 by wozzit

[Guest Guest]

I did not read the story n so can only guess the background fm posts here. But do the guidelines also refer to straight guys n gals? if a straight guy gets HIV from heterosexual contact, is unaware of his status, he fills in the firm stating he is not gay, yet his blood is found to have the HIV antibodies, will he also b sent to jail?

If you want an excuse for not donating blood, say you had hepatitis B and are not permitted to give blood.

He will still be charged cos he donated hiv+ blood

[Guest Guest]

Was it only for 6 months? The last i remembered was M2M sex is not allowed. Who knows, one day if they do find that "gayness" is from genetically defect genes, they wont even want your blood. (please don't treat me seriously)

So here's an article about a heterosexual man who visited prostitutes and didn't declare it and was sent to jail.

http://yourhealth.asiaone.com/content/hiv-positive-donor-gave-blood-20-years

"he had lied to the authorities about visiting prostitutes and had consequently donated HIV-contaminated blood."

Yes you r right, anyone with m2m sex not permitted to donate. I just took a closer look at the poster just now.

Thanks for pointing out this

But then again, i do heard of ppl who had m2m sex do blood donation. Well i feel nothing wrong with that if he knows his partner is safe and he and his partners dont engage in casual sex

But having said that he would have to make false declaration before blood donation which breaks the law

[Guest wozzit]

i think the biggest bone i have to pick is why are gay men being singled out for this? why isn't the question "are you diagnosed with HIV?" instead of "have you had sex with men?"

The answer surely is that anyone can have HIV n b unaware of it. So being diagnosed with it does not cover all the bases.

If the guy knew he had HIV n lied about that (sorry I have not read all the thread), then he was really stupid. But if anyone donates blood believing they r negative, it is routinely screened for HIV. So no one should b punished - and no one should be discriminated against just coz they r gay. Non monogamous straights can b equally prone to the virus!

[keyboard]

I would rather we fight for equal rights first before donating blood. Nobody is going to die because gays don't donate blood. We are all lucky (aka not actively imposed) that they don't report to the police because you had sex M2M since it is a criminal offense.

[keyboard]

THIS IS about equal rights! being seen as an equal in the eyes of society. it might seem trivial, but it's not. it's symptomatic of the discrimination we are facing as a community. not to mention reinforcing the stigma of HIV and how it's a 'gay disease'.

 

and no, i'm not going to thank them for not reporting to the police for being who i am and who i love!

 

I'm not implying this is not about equal rights. However, between what is being lawfully defined vs stigma, i rather we tackle the law first. Decriminalize gay sex first (an institution where it is supposed to be fair and just), then we tackle social stigma. It can be part of the package no doubt, however, not to dilute the main aim by branching out to so many other sub-aims.

[Guest wozzit]

Just my opinion but Id rather tackle the stigma first. The chance of changing the law if the stigma remains is pretty slim I reckon.

The US Supreme Court is presently debating gay marriage. I cannot in a month if Sundays believe they would be doing so if attitudes (read- stigma) throughout much of the country had not undergone a major sea change with many people now far less anti gay than even 10 years ago.

Edited May 13, 2015 by wozzit

[azimuth]

I agree with resolving the stigma first. It seems after reading the judge report on the case of Amos Yee that the law seems to go with the societal norm on what is generally acceptable.

[abang]

I stopped my blood donation as early as the early 80s.

Not by force but by respect.

 

I was then young and active and was circulating around quite a fair bit.

So in the best interest of myself and "potential" receiver, I stopped after NS.

 

Yes having the virus is already a penalty but to be "publicly" announced in court and be slapped with a jail sentence, that is way too much for me to stomach.  All I can say, if you are so-called "force" to donate blood, just fabricate an excuse like .."I'm having a fever or I'm not feeling well today?  The consequences are just too much to bear.   Conversely from the receiver end, a patient receives a HIV-stained blood, isn't that an eternal punishment too? 

[Guest IknowHim]

I prefer to give him the benefit of the doubts.  I have seen students getting very inquisitive about him and approached him for "interview", autograph and even taking picture with him because he was a regular face in fast food outlets.  Before we jump to conclusion, I cannot deny an element of conspiracy among students who were out to get him.

[abang]

No.. Amos flatly admit that was a hoax.. he just wanted to get the media attention.

I reckon he is just simply mental... 

 

Back to the topic..

Stay away from young boys lah..

Keep your hands to yourself... please.

Enough said..

[MobyDick]

From HSA website:

 

People with an increased risk of developing HIV infection must not give blood. They include:

• People who have had a positive HIV test
• People with HIV/AIDS
• People who have had sex with multiple partners
• People who engage/have engaged in casual sex
• Men who have/have had sex with other men
• People who are/were injecting drug users
• People who have paid for sex
• Commercial sex workers
• People with signs and symptoms of AIDS i.e. weight loss, swollen glands in the neck, armpits or groin, persistent diarrhoea or rare cancers
• Anyone who has had sex with anyone from the above groups

I believe the donor did not have the intent to infect the recipient. Knowing our risk of HIV infection is higher, we should avoid donating blood since this is not compulsory.

[Guest Guest]

Actually What moby dick has posted refers to three classes of people .. The prostitutes be it chicken or duck.. The heterosexual or bisexuals and msm the homosexuals ? This is what comes to my mind when I first read moby dick post.

Msm maybe because they do not want to highlight the term homosexual which seems more discriminating ? Just like the term prostitute ?

Just my opinion.

[Guest guest]

Aiyo.....high risk grouo should take responsibility and not go donate blood. This is not helping but "害ing" people. 自己要死死远一点,别害人! It is good he us punished. Should be locked up longer.

[Guest Guest]

Msm commercial sex workers ...euphemisms compared to words homosexuals and prostitutes.

Just my take

[Guest wysett]

M2M does has higher risk because the anal is more likely to be torn compared to vagina and thus create an opening for virus to enter if unprotected sex is carried out.

[MobyDick]

once again, where is the conclusive research or study that says that MSM is inherently of higher risk? otherwise, it seems like a remnant of 80s paranoia...and ignorance.

 

As stated, MSM is not the only group with increased risk. This is not about discrimination or ignorance, but safety of the patients/ recipients and risk management. 

 

Not just HSA, you can also read the FDA guidelines on blood donation from MSM: http://www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVaccines/BloodBloodProducts/QuestionsaboutBlood/ucm108186.htm

 

Nonetheless, they are reviewing this policy to allow blood donation by MSM: http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-fda-gay-men-blood-donors-20150512-story.html

Edited May 14, 2015 by MobyDick

[kratos]

once again, where is the conclusive research or study that says that MSM is inherently of higher risk? otherwise, it seems like a remnant of 80s paranoia...and ignorance.

Just look at the statistics. I wish it is just simple discrimination, but sometimes I'm ashamed to look at the stats.

https://www.moh.gov.sg/content/moh_web/home/statistics/infectiousDiseasesStatistics/HIV_Stats/update-on-the-hiv-aids-situation-in-singapore-20130.html

"428 cases acquired the infection through the sexual route, with heterosexual transmission accounting for 40% of infections, homosexual transmission 46% and bisexual transmission 8%"

Gay people account for approximately 5-10% of the population and yet more than 50% of the new infection are from the gay community. Let that number sink in.

[fab]

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/courts-crime/man-26-charged-with-committing-sex-offences-involving-at-least-10-underaged

 

SINGAPORE - A 26-year-old man was charged on Tuesday with committing sex offences involving at least 10 underaged boys.

Goh Jun Guan faces 30 charges involving boys who were aged between 10 and 15 years old at the time.

The alleged offences, which took place between 2012 and 2014, include giving and receiving oral sex from some of the boys as well as touching the genitals of some and getting them to touch his.

 

He also stands accused of persuading some of the boys to send him photos of their genitals or videos of themselves masturbating, and of sending them similar photos and videos of himself via WhatsApp.

These alleged acts happened at a different locations, including public toilets in Jurong West Public Library, Pioneer Mall, and Jurong Point Shopping Centre.

For each count of sexually penetrating or being sexually penetrated by a boy under 14 years of age, Goh could be jailed up to 20 years and also fined or caned.

For each count of procuring the commission of obscene acts by the boys, he could be jailed up to five years, fined up to $10,000, or both, on the first conviction.

oliviaho@sph.com.sg

[Guest Mabiupoh]

Tonight's Wanbao and Shinming papers

　（新加坡30日訊）女商人結婚12年，借助試管受精技術生下三胞胎后，才驚覺丈夫是同性戀，在外與不同男人胡搞，患上愛滋病！

　根據法庭判詞，這對夫婦是在1996年結婚，拍拖時同居。

　49歲妻子與48歲丈夫是商人，曾合夥經營家族包裝生意，之后也開鋼琴店和Spa美容院，但丈夫目前已宣告破產。

　兩人在2003年，以人工受孕的方式生下三胞胎。妻子在2011年1月申請離婚。

醉酒回家分房睡

　為保護未成年孩子，判詞沒有列明夫婦身分。3個孩子目前是11歲半。

　妻子在2008年，即結婚后的12年，察覺到丈夫行為古怪，變得抽離。丈夫時常獨自出門，喝得爛醉回家，並且開始與妻子分房睡。

　隔年1月，妻子請私家偵探調查丈夫行為，才知道丈夫在外與不同男人胡搞。在妻子質問下，丈夫承認自己的同性戀傾向與行為。

　夫婦倆同意接受婚姻輔導，不料丈夫在接受輔導時，再向妻子驚爆自己患有愛滋病。判詞沒揭露男子何時患上愛滋病。

　之后，丈夫的行為變本加厲，一周內有好幾天不在家，也沒向妻子報備行蹤。

　到了2010年1月，妻子終于忍無可忍，帶著3個小孩搬出去。

　丈夫不滿妻兒離家出走，憤而切斷妻子的零用錢和信用卡。

妻獲60％財產

夫婦倆共有財產總值265萬余元，包括一棟估計值百萬元的有地私宅，以及賣掉另一所房子所得的29萬8000多元。

　法官裁定六成財產歸妻子所有，另四成歸丈夫，丈夫也須一次過付32萬5000元的贍養費給孩子。

　目前宣告破產的丈夫不服裁決，已提出上訴。

孩子撫養權歸母

妻子指丈夫負責照顧孩子時，曾帶情人回家，與3名小孩一起同床！

　妻子在爭取孩子撫養權時，揭露丈夫不負責任的行為。

　法官決定判3個孩子的撫養權歸母親，但准許男子每週有兩小時可接觸孩子。

　法官指出，男子自2010年中起，就沒有定期探望孩子；另外，為了孩子著想，法官認為他們不應接觸父親的放蕩生活方式。

　法官也表示，男子在接觸孩子時，應該要有人監督。

[leo yok loo]

Gay man go married a girl=自寻烦恼

[gpfun]

http://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore-news/wife-finds-out-husband-led-life-drugs-and-gay-sex?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook

 

For nearly 13 years, she was oblivious to her husband’s secret life of drugs and casual gay sex.

She knew nothing about him being HIV-positive or his postings on a gay social networking site.

Things only came to light in 2009 when she hired a private investigator to check on him after becoming suspicious of his late nights.

By then, she had given birth to triplets through in-vitro fertilisation (IVF).

These details emerged in a High Court judgment on the couple’s divorce that was released yesterday.

Justice Vinodh Coomaraswamy awarded the woman $1.9 million as her share of the matrimonial assets.

It included assets worth some $770,000 under her name, 60 per cent of proceeds from the sale of their marital home in Sembawang and a property in Serangoon worth $1 million.

The couple cannot be named to protect their children.

They were married in April 1996 after cohabiting in a Jalan Bahagia flat.

After joining the man’s family’s packaging business, the couple struck out on their own and set up various businesses including a piano shop and a spa.

The wife went through a series of painful and stressful fertility treatments in an attempt to have a baby.

After several attempts, she conceived triplets through IVF in 2003, said court documents.

In 2008, she noticed her husband acting oddly and withdrawn from the family. He often went out alone, returning home drunk late at night.

He also began sleeping separately from her.

In January 2009, she hired a private investigator, who discovered that her husband had been actively engaging in trysts with other men.

When she confronted him, he admitted that he was gay.

They decided to go for counselling to save their marriage. At the first session, the husband revealed that he was HIV-positive.

In late 2009, he began spending weekends and stretches of time away from home, which led the wife to conclude that he was not serious about trying to save their marriage.

MOVED OUT

She moved out of their home in January 2010, taking the triplets with her.

The next month, she applied for a personal protection order (PPO) against her husband who had beaten her on at least two occasions, including in front of colleagues at their workplace, court documents said.

He also used force on one of their children and had screaming rages against the other two.

During proceedings for the PPO, the husband, who did not have a lawyer, insisted on the children, then aged seven, giving evidence in court. They later testified via videolink.

“His decision, therefore, deliberately put his young children in a position where they would have to be subjected to cross-examination by their own father,” Justice Coomaraswamy wrote.

The woman was granted full custody of her children and her husband was allowed to see them for only two hours a week under supervision.

He had asked for this to be relaxed, but the judge ruled against it as he did not think it was in the children’s best interest for the man to be involved in the decision-making for their welfare.

“I say that because the husband has, at least since 2008, demonstrated a very poor ability to make decisions even for his own welfare.

“Indeed, what he has shown is an ability to make decisions which are positively detrimental to his own welfare,” the judge said.

He referred to the man’s four-month jail term for possession and consumption of drugs, including methamphetamine and ketamine; his promiscuous lifestyle where he solicited short-term sexual trysts on a social networking site for gay men; and the recklessness by which he was likely to have become HIV-positive.

Justice Coomaraswamy wrote that the man was also involved with a partner who leads a particularly “reckless and dissolute lifestyle”. In 2009, that partner was found under the bed of his then-lover, who had died from a drug overdose.

He added that he was not inclined to give the man more access because he did not take the initiative to visit his children since his release from prison in September 2013.

“I do not consider it in the triplets’ best interests to be exposed to the husband’s reckless and dissolute lifestyle so long as that lifestyle continues,” said the judge, adding that his visits needed to be supervised.

“The husband has on previous occasions deliberately failed to return the triplets to the wife after unsupervised access.

“In his oral submissions before me, without a trace of irony, the husband himself used the term ‘kidnap’ to refer to his actions.”

The man is appealing the decision.

Edited August 1, 2015 by gpfun

[mate69]

This is totally heart-wrenching to read, to say the least.

 

If anything, it goes to show that always be true to oneself especially when it comes to major

decisions that involve other lives, like marriage.

 

Cos when you don't have the commitment to commit and the discipline to behave as the man of the household should,

then things will turn very ugly very quickly and a can of worms will be opened up,

often affecting those who are the most innocent (wife/kids) the most.