Cheating Boyfriend / Lover + Why Cheat when In a Relationship? (Compiled)

[GachiMuchi]

im currently caught in a dilemma, i love him so much that i cant lose him, but at the same time, i cant accept what he is doing. what should i do? i sincerely hope that i can get some good advice cuz my mind is going haywired and i cant think logically.

Both "I can't lose him" and "I can't accept what he is doing" are 2 opposing forces.

Eventually something's got to give before you can have your peace.

You are not able to think logically because your emotion is overwhelm by the love for him. ("I love him so much, I can't lose him")

Any logically person will tell you that he is not worth your love for him, but I think you don't want to hear that and you don't want to acknowledge that too.

So,.... the only alternative is for to ACCEPT that that is who he is.

But if you can't ACCEPT that, then TOO BAD for you. because he is the same guy you had grown to love and cherish and the same guy whom you had given your ass hearts to. All the "ugly" truth about him is surfacing after the honeymoon period.

Live with it! Because you HAD made your choice (you can't lose him) and you will have to accept the good, the bad and the ugly of a person, even if he is the biggest assholes around.

It's your life, you decide your choice.

No one is putting a gun on your head to force you to accept him. If you insist on being with him, that is the shit you will have to bear. You only have yourself to blame for being so emotional.

Edited July 5, 2012 by GachiMuchi

[trevorcantona]

the thing is that when men gets what they wan, they lose interests. soon cam sex will not have its "thrills" for him, and he will eventually move on to having 3some with you, the next progression will be open relationship (with rules of cos), after that for the next progression, you do the math.

you should sit down with him, be honest and ask him is tat what he wan your relationship to progress? if that is the kind of relationship he wan, at least you know what kind of person he is. then you will have to decide if tat is what you wan too.

Trev

[Guest open]

if u can t beat them than join them. as long practice safe sex and end of the day he go back to u i think is fine.when can 3some with u guys?gd things have to share mah.

[closetedlestroll]

Hi sadboy88. Sorry to hear that u had to slowly find out about his camsex and question him about it. I had thought he told you about it. Like what the rest said, value yourself and your self worth first. If you can't accept him having camsex with other guys then you gotta be firm about it. Because small digressions all escalate to bigger digressions. He may think that ahhh my BF allows me to do this today, maybe he will allow me to do more tomorrow. In other words 得寸进尺 - he may slowly move on to physical sex with them. If you don't be firm and curb such bad habits (which is a deal breaker to u since u are so upset at this already) at such an early stage then he will take you for granted and walk all over you.

Don't let him take your kindness as weakness please. You have more dignity than that!

[sadboy88]

Hi sadboy88. Sorry to hear that u had to slowly find out about his camsex and question him about it. I had thought he told you about it. Like what the rest said, value yourself and your self worth first. If you can't accept him having camsex with other guys then you gotta be firm about it. Because small digressions all escalate to bigger digressions. He may think that ahhh my BF allows me to do this today, maybe he will allow me to do more tomorrow. In other words 得寸进尺 - he may slowly move on to physical sex with them. If you don't be firm and curb such bad habits (which is a deal breaker to u since u are so upset at this already) at such an early stage then he will take you for granted and walk all over you.

Don't let him take your kindness as weakness please. You have more dignity than that!

hey. thanks for your advice. as of now he's still demanding for cam sex only, still haven level up to next level yet haha. but both of us are just like rocks. but all these advices(from all contributors) i've been reading are making me feel better and perhaps i know what i'll do.

[Guest hearthurt]

It is very painful that your partner has been cheating on you and having many excuses to cover up.

To a point which i cannot tolerant no more, it is better to call it off for this relationship since it is bringing so much pain.

[evianguy]

Why not talk to him? Ask him what he finds trilling about it. Ask yourself why can't you accept his desire to engage in this activity. Communicate!

[Guest GUEST]

accept or dun accept yr lover  having sex with other guys?dun accept means break off.

[Guest Guest]

pls, not again, anymore interesting topics to start with, or at least dont be lazy, make full use of the search engine in this forum.

[allmyimages2020]

In the very very initial stages of our relationship, we were rather relaxed about sex and we agreed to try out some group sex. I admit that we quite enjoyed a few of the group sex that we tried. We quite enjoyed the various combinations in the sex. After about 6 or 7 sessions, we called it quit to the group sex thing and became exclusive to each other when we realised that sex was just as enjoyable/better with just the two of us as we can be totally be at ease barebacking and swallowing cum. In the years later, we did try out some more one-one sex outside of the relationship with both parties knowing about it before hand. We will be celebrating 30 years this July! I think either one one of us would have called it QUIT if CAUGHT having sex with another party!

Edited April 19, 2013 by allmyimages2020

[FizzleBuzz]

LOL! It just happened to me today, but yea, i broke off with him.... cant trust him much...

Edited April 19, 2013 by FizzleBuzz

[Guest GUEST]

 happen to me also. my lover went to chinatown sauna cause is free entry and i staying at home watching tv.

[Flexibtm]

happen to me also. my lover went to chinatown sauna cause is free entry and i staying at home watching tv.

How do u know he went to gay sauna?

[DarrenT]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ):

[Guest Explicit]

Fuck no? -.-

[Guest LYH■]

E.g. slept with someone behind your back?

I guess nobody like the feeling of being betrayed huh

[Dorkable]

I...forgave him.

[kys0n]

Probably forgive him. If I really love him, then I should be able to overlook his mistakes as well. Of course this is under the assumption there has been a good chat and he is sincere about not letting it happen again.

[LongCurious]

ask yourself what are you looking for in this person

Does this person have it?

Will he have it in the future and will it stick with him for life?

 

done and done

[SeannyShortcake]

It kinda depends.

 

Was there something wrong with our sex life? Was it safe sex? Did he consider the consequences of doing in while being in a relationship with me?

 

Never happened to me before but something's gotta give.

[areef]

it depend on what you considered cheating as well. chatting, flirting is ok I guess. Just not sexually involve.

 

this happened to me when I was tad bit younger, I was with this guys for 3 years, he was my first and only at that time.

Later I found out he was cheating with me sexually with another guy.

 

things got ugly and we fought (literally fight, I punch him, he punch back, I punch back, well you know what I mean)

to cut thing short, after tired of fighting I just broke down and cried for what seems an eternity. while he was apologizing non stop.

 

Then we reached an amicable decision to break up.

 

Looking back, I do think I should have handle it better. but I never once regretted my decision.

I do see him occasionally and he do ask me whether I have forgiven for what he did and I said NO. actually, I did forgave him long time ago. that's just my ego talking (if you are reading this, which I doubt, I forgive you. lol)

 

Just a word of caution though, breaking up sure looks easy as I typed it out here. In reality, it hurts like crazy. 

[Guest Nk]

All cheats are lies, but not all lies maybe all bad.

All cheats are strictly have to do with self interest, and nothings else.

If I say all lies may not be that bad, it means if you are catch lying, you better have a god damn good reason why did you lied in the firs place, or else it is of no excuse to attempt in the first place.

Thus white lies are good lies, created intentionlly to thwart an evil plan, or to save a situation from being aggravating.

It is done usually having the welfares of somebody in mind.

Cheaters are forever cheaters. When you ask them to explain a situation (why did they did it etc) I bet you, when you asked them 10 times, you will have 10 different versions.

None of the versions ever link logically or coherently to one another.

When asked why he did this, his logic is really out of this world. What he says he expects you to accept simply because he wants to contain his secret. Yet he fears you may probe into more deeply. They are bascially those who sweep all their dirty doings under the carpet, while trying to maintain a cool calm composure, and dignified manner.

To live with a cheater is to live in many many moments of uncertainty and fears being with him.And may i ask you, why do you want your self worth to be always humiliated, shaken and be perpetually living in a fear, just because his lies is forever confusing you 24 hours a day, having sleepless nights , hard circles and they even haunt you in your dreams.

If a person cheats and lies to you, is so simple. It simply means he doesn't even respect you in the first place, so why do you wanna waste your youth energy time with the unworthies who doesn't care a damn about your feelings, while you cared so much to put in all efforts to savage a relationship ?

To catch a cheater you must first have a big of a thief's mind or have a criminal mind.

Now bear in mind this..I totally agree its very wrong to check into your bf,s handphone or emails to find evidences to justify your suspicion...but...just because there is no traces left in any one in any of the gadgets, does not mean he is faithful.

He can delete all evidental traces, so as to appear as a goody two shoes to you.

You must know the character of your cheater inside out. You must be observant of his daily routine his diet his choice of dressing, his choice of colours for this and that. You must be very sharp and fast to take down all these little observations, right at your finger tips.

See what they don't do, heard what they don't say, this is my basic principle, but it can be adjusted to suit the various matrix combinations to cater to the different characters of cheaters.

Fortuntely for me, I am a highly sensitive and intuitive person. Its just by looking at a person into the eyes,even from the corners of my eyes, I can sense whats in the person's mind. Its a gift i have, that had navigated me out of many diificulties I had faced before. By looking into him, I am usually two steps ahead what the person wants and what he is about to say.

Those days and nights when i didn't stay over my bf's places, I just know whether they have cheated behind my back.

Entering their bedroom I can usually sense the presence of a third party. Its like smelling someone in a room. Then an image just builds up in my mind how this person looks like, and what really happened in the room.

Even if he cheats outside, I literally can "smell" out what he just did.

Most of the time I act blur and let them get away with it, until the right moment comes, I just revealed to them what I knew they were doing all along. Its so nice to see the shock of the cheaters'faces.

Some of my ex were lawyers, army officers and had a pychologist, but i beat them to the game.

Of course, there are so many simple tricks I have devised to confirm their cheating, which I have created and imparted to many of gfs. They found the methods, simple effective cunnning and devious, which they got their answer within two week.

However i am not going to post any of them , just as to save the innocence from the mischevious makers.

The cheaters can go on cheating, while thinking they are very smart to get away with everything they lie. Till they meet their match, and then they will know what the Chinese proveb - one mountain higher than the previous mountain - really means, let them learn their lesson.

They can go on cheating and lying : I rather choose to live a simple and quiet life with someone truthful.

please share the trick, don't share only to gf, the boy here needs it

Just share simple 1 and 2 tricks?

[bubbledam89]

Forgive, but dont forget...

[marriedmly]

Forgive, but dont forget...

 

yes..

always say forgive...

 

but make sure they know u wont forget

 

that's what experience is all about

[BlueKevin]

All cheats are lies, but not all lies maybe all bad.

All cheats are strictly have to do with self interest, and nothings else.

If I say all lies may not be that bad, it means if you are catch lying, you better have a god damn good reason why did you lied in the firs place, or else it is of no excuse to attempt in the first place.

Thus white lies are good lies, created intentionlly to thwart an evil plan, or to save a situation from being aggravating.

It is done usually having the welfares of somebody in mind.

Cheaters are forever cheaters. When you ask them to explain a situation (why did they did it etc) I bet you, when you asked them 10 times, you will have 10 different versions.

None of the versions ever link logically or coherently to one another.

When asked why he did this, his logic is really out of this world. What he says he expects you to accept simply because he wants to contain his secret. Yet he fears you may probe into more deeply. They are bascially those who sweep all their dirty doings under the carpet, while trying to maintain a cool calm composure, and dignified manner.

To live with a cheater is to live in many many moments of uncertainty and fears being with him.And may i ask you, why do you want your self worth to be always humiliated, shaken and be perpetually living in a fear, just because his lies is forever confusing you 24 hours a day, having sleepless nights , hard circles and they even haunt you in your dreams.

If a person cheats and lies to you, is so simple. It simply means he doesn't even respect you in the first place, so why do you wanna waste your youth energy time with the unworthies who doesn't care a damn about your feelings, while you cared so much to put in all efforts to savage a relationship ?

To catch a cheater you must first have a big of a thief's mind or have a criminal mind.

Now bear in mind this..I totally agree its very wrong to check into your bf,s handphone or emails to find evidences to justify your suspicion...but...just because there is no traces left in any one in any of the gadgets, does not mean he is faithful.

He can delete all evidental traces, so as to appear as a goody two shoes to you.

You must know the character of your cheater inside out. You must be observant of his daily routine his diet his choice of dressing, his choice of colours for this and that. You must be very sharp and fast to take down all these little observations, right at your finger tips.

See what they don't do, heard what they don't say, this is my basic principle, but it can be adjusted to suit the various matrix combinations to cater to the different characters of cheaters.

Fortuntely for me, I am a highly sensitive and intuitive person. Its just by looking at a person into the eyes,even from the corners of my eyes, I can sense whats in the person's mind. Its a gift i have, that had navigated me out of many diificulties I had faced before. By looking into him, I am usually two steps ahead what the person wants and what he is about to say.

Those days and nights when i didn't stay over my bf's places, I just know whether they have cheated behind my back.

Entering their bedroom I can usually sense the presence of a third party. Its like smelling someone in a room. Then an image just builds up in my mind how this person looks like, and what really happened in the room.

Even if he cheats outside, I literally can "smell" out what he just did.

Most of the time I act blur and let them get away with it, until the right moment comes, I just revealed to them what I knew they were doing all along. Its so nice to see the shock of the cheaters'faces.

Some of my ex were lawyers, army officers and had a pychologist, but i beat them to the game.

Of course, there are so many simple tricks I have devised to confirm their cheating, which I have created and imparted to many of gfs. They found the methods, simple effective cunnning and devious, which they got their answer within two week.

However i am not going to post any of them , just as to save the innocence from the mischevious makers.

The cheaters can go on cheating, while thinking they are very smart to get away with everything they lie. Till they meet their match, and then they will know what the Chinese proveb - one mountain higher than the previous mountain - really means, let them learn their lesson.

They can go on cheating and lying : I rather choose to live a simple and quiet life with someone truthful.

Hi bro, I saw your comment about cheated bf and trick.

Can you please teach me the trick?

My purpose is not to confront, but to make the "cat" admitted that he steal the "fish". 

 

He strongly denied while i have witness it.

Not to argue with him the incidents.

My purpose is to make him admit and open for discussion.

I still hope to salvage our relationship.

 

I appreciate if you could share me the tip.

Thanks in advance.

[mate69]

The method really depends on the age of the parties involved.

How old are u, BlueKevin? And your bf?

[Guest Guest]

My way of getting back at my cheating bf was to find out secretly who he was fucking behind my back. Once I found out, I pursued that guy aggressively and ended up having great sex with him and videoed taped our entire love making or fucking. I sent my cheating bf the tape and all he'll broke loose! We are now separated and he was also not with that same guy who both fucked!

[marriedmly]

My way of getting back at my cheating bf was to find out secretly who he was fucking behind my back. Once I found out, I pursued that guy aggressively and ended up having great sex with him and videoed taped our entire love making or fucking. I sent my cheating bf the tape and all he'll broke loose! We are now separated and he was also not with that same guy who both fucked!

 

wow..

that's a very great way to go about it

 

good job

[Zaw]

My ex bf it cheating me for one year plus of lover and money. He is a Malay guy. And now he don't want return money to me. Anyone can help me .k

[BlueKevin]

You should. Communication is the most important in the relationship.

I always confront my bf but none of the single time he admitted.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Until i am bored and have fun out side too. (for reference only, not advisable)

are you guy still together?

[TheVisitors]

Hi bro, I saw your comment about cheated bf and trick.

Can you please teach me the trick?

My purpose is not to confront, but to make the "cat" admitted that he steal the "fish". 

 

He strongly denied while i have witness it.

Not to argue with him the incidents.

My purpose is to make him admit and open for discussion.

I still hope to salvage our relationship.

 

I appreciate if you could share me the tip.

Thanks in advance.

In life there are 2 choices in this case of yours.

You either let go, or continue on this saga

 

If you look at when people seek to redress an injustice brought onto them ( where I am assuming the victim is an innocent party), there is a very fine line, between whether it is justice, or revenge

 

In my life, I had helped people in their seek for justice, but they are women who are cheated by their husbands, because they are true victims of cheating husbands Straight marriages are even more complicated than gays

 

The latter has so much legal complications involved if they do part, where as for us gays, since there is no contract, people can just come and go

 

But yet, it maybe even more complicated than the straights, if there is money, etc matters are involved.

 

I have yet to understand and hear your story, or have I seen or listened your partner's version, thus I have no right to judge

In the first place I can't even judge because I have no right to

 

I can only listen, assess carefully and give you advises so you can see things on a broader spectrum

 

Sometimes when people are caught up in their own anger, sorrow or disappointments, they only can see what they want to see, or hear what they want to hear, hereby they narrow their apecture , and spectrum of things, that they conduct themselves irrationally and foolishly, do they regret much later

 

My methods are very insidious, based on patience, cold calculation and ruthlessness that people are really shocked that I can come up with ideas that no one can come up with.

The methods are very simple, yet it destroys the targets, and ruined them emotionally , in their careers, or wiped out their savings, even without them knowing they stabbed them from behind

 

Your mind set must be totally void of compassion for the target, no regrets, not indecision,  no procrastination. In your mind, killing a human is like killing an ant

 

But yet, I suggest you let it go, if it is not that serious, or a life and death issues

 

Let go if you can.

 

Free yourself for once

Edited August 13, 2014 by TheVisitors

[Guest Guest]

I would rub chilli on his cock head and put a condom over it for him......let it simmer for awhile to let him feel the pain....

[BlueKevin]

The method really depends on the age of the parties involved.

How old are u, BlueKevin? And your bf?

We are at mid 30. Edited August 13, 2014 by BlueKevin

[Guest Caught_RED_HANDED]

He asked me and surfed recently into gay spas websites.

Recently told me , he has lots of overtime.

 

Then a friend told me my bf has been frequently in Cruise Clubs on Saturdays after noon ( 2pm - 5pm ), which he claimed he is at work.

 

I decided to check up last week, and found him there.....so angry when I saw him and tailed him.

 

 

I waited outside the room , when he came out...he was shocked....and brushed away saying he came there to rest.

 

Almost had a quarrel, instead I pick up another guy and went into the room with another.

 

 

[abang]

无言的结局。。。

Well if your bf is seeking physical fun only, be the 大老婆 ..shut both your eyes...外面的都是野草。。

You do treasure him, right?

[Guest Guest]

Most human beings are just fucking animals ....what do you expect ?

[MikeD]

I think this is norm in this circle.. I caught my bf fuck around with others too..

My advice is, treat yourself better, i do believe in karma.. Just wait & see.. Good luck

[pathseeker]

never do revenge...have a good talk with him.

 

Always love yourself more then others' (except yr family members)

[Guest TOPPED by TOPS]

I deliberately left my phone with my sms date to meet some tops at Cruise Club, knowing my bf checks on my mobile when I shower.

 

Good enough he showed up to catch me , when I was fucked by many at the Cruise Club.

 

Then he realised that I am not always a bottom for him.

[Guest Revenge]

I deliberately left my phone with my sms date to meet some tops at Cruise Club, knowing my bf checks on my mobile when I shower.

 

Good enough he showed up to catch me , when I was fucked by many at the Cruise Club.

 

Then he realised that I am not always a bottom for him.

 

Tit for Tat

[Guest Snowball]

通常年轻人的眼里容不下一粒沙， 心里幻想十全十美的爱情故事，

当你步入他的后尘后， 你也并没资格批评他， 因为你和他没两样，

同样冲动缺少修养。我只相信别人做什么是他们的事， 但由你的言行一出，

你就得为此负责。

[journey]

never do revenge...have a good talk with him.

Yes this is exactly what one should do if caught in a similar situation

[Guest AdviseMe]

Can anyone advise me?

 

I have always been a btm for my BF.

 

Recently I heard my BF have always been a btms to my close friend.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Tit for Tat?

 

"An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind".

 

If you dont mind an open relationship then you need a talk, about boundaries, safety.

If you dont want an open relationship and want the relationship to work then you need a talk.

If you think a talk wont make a difference, then you need a new, other, relationship.

 

[Guest Chalet Getaway]

We booked a chalet getaway at Down Town East, which planned friends to visit later in the day.

 

 

My BF, a hunky TOP, offerred to check in first while I was at work as I could not get a day off.

 

So I left everything for him to do the check in etc.

 

Suddenly my boss, approved my half day leave, so i was so excited and leave from work and head to the chalet.

 

What turned up, a shock for m , was I found my bf being fucked by a gang of guys.

[Guest Hello]

It depends on you. What's your idea of a relationship you want? If you're okay with him screwing around then maybe agree upon it. Be civil and talk about it. But if what you want is monogamy then it's best you leave him.

Love is not enough.

[Guest 小燕姐]

We booked a chalet getaway at Down Town East, which planned friends to visit later in the day.

My BF, a hunky TOP, offerred to check in first while I was at work as I could not get a day off.

So I left everything for him to do the check in etc.

Suddenly my boss, approved my half day leave, so i was so excited and leave from work and head to the chalet.

What turned up, a shock for m , was I found my bf being fucked by a gang of guys.

You got to find a new TOP bf.

[Guest 我问天]

It also happened to me before.  I caught him red handed too.

[Guest 向问天]

happened to me before too... sigh.  

[bluerunner]

My BF, a hunky TOP, offerred to check in first while I was at work as I could not get a day off.

.

.

What turned up, a shock for m , was I found my bf being fucked by a gang of guys.

This is hot.