Cheating Boyfriend / Lover + Why Cheat when In a Relationship? (Compiled)

[mate69]

I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to get the truth.

Some days ago my friend advised me to use spytomobile app and I installed it on my bf's phone. It is really stealthy and works good. Now I can read his messages, see his calls and see his location on google maps.

I have found out that my boyfriend's collegue writes romantic messages to him . Yesterday night he visited his collegues's house and he had been there for 30 minutes. I don't know what to think. When he came home I asked why he was so late and he answered he was at work. He lied to me. I didn't tell him that I knew where he was. I decided to wait sometime untill I would get real facts.

You and your bf are playing a very dangerous game. I hope you realise that.

[Guest Cheater & cheatee]

This topic is  especially close to my heart as I struggled a lot in this area when i was younger
 
somehow as i age - i realise it is just part n parcel of a real relationship. What  does not kill you will make you stronger
 
May you find strength to face the outcome , of course i pray that it is just a false alarm..
 

the lyrics of this song tells a lot of truth

[van1981]

The key of all relationahip whether parenthoos, friendship, discipleship, couplehood, and so on is transparency.

Transparency is stripping your soul naked and unprotected to let the other to know the true you.

Back to couplehood, the degree of the couples' transparency towards each other is the degree how deeply in loved and how deep they trust each other.

[Paladze]

I do not want to get stabbed in the back and learn about it in a year or two. That's why I used a spying app on him. And I was right. I read his messages and many of this messages with flirt accent. Thanks to [content removed by mod], now I understand that I don't want to be with this man.

I hope my new relationships will be better and more honest.

[Guest Ener]

I do not want to get stabbed in the back and learn about it in a year or two. That's why I used a spying app on him. And I was right. I read his messages and many of this messages with flirt accent. Thanks to [content removed by mod], now I understand that I don't want to be with this man.

I hope my new relationships will be better and more honest.

Sickening, you are even giving an excuse to do something nasty. Leave him or accept it but nooo you have to be a possessive bitch. Even though you are his partner or ex by now. It doesn't give you the rights to probe into someone else's privacy, every person have their choice in how they run their life. You can choose to ignore or demand a break up but u sneaky bastard... U are one sick fucker. Pop some pills and kill urself. LOSER. *Condemned*

[Guest Ener]

Btw, it's not like you are fighting for custody or something. Why did u have to go to such extend... I feel very fucking disgusted at your actions.. seriously you deserve to be alone.

[Guest Glyph]

Sickening, you are even giving an excuse to do something nasty. Leave him or accept it but nooo you have to be a possessive bitch. Even though you are his partner or ex by now. It doesn't give you the rights to probe into someone else's privacy, every person have their choice in how they run their life. You can choose to ignore or demand a break up but u sneaky bastard... U are one sick fucker. Pop some pills and kill urself. LOSER. *Condemned*

 

Likewise, nothing one does ever gives you the right to tell them to end their life. He needs help, and so do you.

[yhtang]

I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to get the truth.

Some days ago my friend advised me to use spytomobile app and I installed it on my bf's phone. It is really stealthy and works good. Now I can read his messages, see his calls and see his location on google maps.

I have found out that my boyfriend's collegue writes romantic messages to him . Yesterday night he visited his collegues's house and he had been there for 30 minutes. I don't know what to think. When he came home I asked why he was so late and he answered he was at work. He lied to me. I didn't tell him that I knew where he was. I decided to wait sometime untill I would get real facts.

Others had mentioned that the key to a relationship is communication.  I would assume you decided there was nothing more that is worth talking about. 

I understand you feel aggrieved and perhaps even betrayed when your boyfriend lied to you. The fact that his colleague writes him romantic messages does not help.  However, you have not mentioned if your boyfriend replies to these messages in a similar romantic tone.

Had you felt this relationship was worth saving you would probably have sat your boyfriend down for a long talk. I suppose that is now a moot point.

 

I do not want to get stabbed in the back and learn about it in a year or two. That's why I used a spying app on him. And I was right. I read his messages and many of this messages with flirt accent. Thanks to [content removed by mod], now I understand that I don't want to be with this man.

I hope my new relationships will be better and more honest.

 

From what you wrote, I interprete that you have ended this relationship.

I wonder if you feel like letting us know you (ex)boyfriend's reaction when you told him of your decision. Two years of living together would have formed many sweet memories.

May your future relationship(s) be happier and more fulfilling.

[Guest Guest]

There is only so much we know and can infer from the text posted by OP. There are always 2 sides to a story. We know nothing.

So who are we to judge like this?

[Guest getout first]

It's so obvious when he nitpicks on you: he's no longer into you. 

 

Time to move on. 

[Guest Guest]

If you have the time , you rather plan for your future

[IamAlex]

I've been through those phases, please don't try and "catch" him cheating, nothing good comes out of it as both will take the passive defensive while being offensive stance so there will be ALOT of excuses and accusations.

 

Your best bet is to have a very calm talk with him, if things don't work out, give each other space to cool it down and if things don't work out thereafter, well it's pointless to continue as the love is either one-sided or no longer around.

Edited June 15, 2015 by IamAlex

[Guest Danny Tan]

Hey! Don't be so mean la, all of you guys who texted so NASTY stuffs! Be caring and kind! Paladze's already so anxious and paranoid already. Hmmmm... Paladze, do you still love your BF anot? If you still love him, then don't check or investigate! Do nothing and love him even more. Treat it like nothing've happened. Like me, do some de-stress stuffs like gg to the gym or shopping. Okay!? Cheer up! Don't listen to songs with slow momentum, try this, it suits how you're feeling now...

[Guest guest]

After spending tremendous effort on spying his correspondence, what are you going to do if he did cheat on you?

I think you have already known the answer. Please be assured that no matter what happens, you will have

the courage to deal with it.

[EvansJoseAndre]

Sickening, you are even giving an excuse to do something nasty. Leave him or accept it but nooo you have to be a possessive bitch. Even though you are his partner or ex by now. It doesn't give you the rights to probe into someone else's privacy, every person have their choice in how they run their life. You can choose to ignore or demand a break up but u sneaky bastard... U are one sick fucker. Pop some pills and kill urself. LOSER. *Condemned*

 

U wouldnt understand the feeling until ur on his shoe. To get a bf whos cheating is bad n worse when he hid it. And for me, hes smart enough to use the app to spy on him and thankfully, he founf out that hes cheating. If he dont do that, how long more will he be cheated? 

[iamziz]

U wouldnt understand the feeling until ur on his shoe. To get a bf whos cheating is bad n worse when he hid it. And for me, hes smart enough to use the app to spy on him and thankfully, he founf out that hes cheating. If he dont do that, how long more will he be cheated? 

 

You might want to change font colour so that people can read what you wrote easily. 

[Guest Mnjnxxxx]

hate sex. fuck the truth out him.

[Netizen]

Read the postings above, a quick question pops up in my mind:

If a person installs spy apps onto his partner's mobile, discovers him cheating and leaves him, will he do the same, or has the tendency to do it again on his next partner?

I will not be able to continue the relationship with my partner if I discover he spies on me using this method (regardless of what the reasons might be for this act of his). Respecting privacy is my maxim and is of utmost importance to me.

[nikhil]

Gay relationships are very fragile.. initially love is butterflies all around..  but slowly the diversions tends to make us look out more around.. Best outcome is COMMUNICATION & TRUST... in a relationship open communication is very very important.. an understanding LONG talk with no ego.. talk openly.. ask watever you want to ask.. If you really love him..you should take this pain..you may fight ofcourse.. relationships are meant to fight which strengthens it more deeper.. but when you initiate an open talk you shud be prepared for  the worst.. let your inhibitions off.. understand him... make him understand your emotions.. If he really Loves you dearly, he would understand you and open up.. 

 

Spying is not the solution..Spying makes you digg more and makes it nasty as well..it only hurts you more.. and when he finds it would errupt your egos.. and it sure gonna end with lots of why..who ..you did..and to filthy talks.. 

and PRIVACY is a mutual understanding in a relationship.. ofcourse respect for each other is important.. and you would definitly know what is private and whats not amongst you when you r in a relationship.. 

 

All the above said is only applicable if its a True binded relationships... If love is amongst you... PROPER Communication and Trust and Cooperation can do wonders in relationships..

[Guest guest]

"How To Catch A Cheating Boyfriend?" - Both hands?

[Asyrus]

Hello,

I want to share my story with you. I have a boyfriend and I love him so much. He is my first experience, so kind and sexy. Our story was as a fairytale at first. After 6 months of dating we moved in. We have lived together for 2 years,

Congrats on moving on to the next stage where the magic of honeymoon wears off... Straight couples go through this alot too... I suspect both of you may have spend too much time with each other and have become too close for comfort (hence the nit picking). Not that focus or giving attention to your parnter is a bad thing, but too much attention causes unesscessary stress.

I recommend both of you start building a healthy social circle as a couple; 'to show off your hubby" if you will. This normally helps to reinforce your identity as a couple and when you mix with other couples, you have the chance to observe how others function as a couple as well..

There is nothing more fun then "bitching" about other couples amongst yourselves...hahaha (joking, but honestly, it takes the stress of dealing with your own stubborn donkey of a partner by changing the topic once in awhile )

Revisitng places of signicant meaning to both of you from time to time helps heaps too ( don't have to wait till after breakup),,, build more fond memories together, remind and relive the sweetest moments in your time together cements the relation like industrial glue.

Relax...the more panic or distraught you feel the faster you'll be heading for disaster...slow it down...you'll do fine...

Good Luck!

Edited July 14, 2015 by Asyrus

[Guest Chewy]

 

Hello,

I want to share my story with you. I have a boyfriend and I love him so much. He is my first experience, so kind and sexy. Our story was as a fairytale at first. After 6 months of dating we moved in. We have lived together for 2 years, but recently he behaves oddly. He always walks with his phone and he nitpicks with me. I’m afraid that he is cheating on me but I can’t check him. What can you advise me? Please help me, I really don't know what to do!!!!! 

 

I sense signs. Sign of the beginning to act possessive.  Better stop before it grew out of proportion.

[Friendly]

My usual quote : L - Lots

                           O - Of

                           V - Voluntary

                           E - Efforts

[Guest]

there is an advice i heard for the married ladies is "dun get obsessed with looking for evidents that your husband is cheating on you. one day u might drive him or give reasons for him to do so" 

[Blacque]

there is an advice i heard for the married ladies is "dun get obsessed with looking for evidents that your husband is cheating on you. one day u might drive him or give reasons for him to do so" 

 

That's actually quite quotable. 

[derryfawne]

I'm curious what's the outcome to this whole chapter?

 

Did Paladze finally speak to le boyfriend after finding out? Is spying really the best way, or is there a better approach to handling this?

[Guest useyourbrain]

grindr and jackd are the best apps to find cheating bfs. Use your common sense to catch them red handed. if they already are seeing mutiple partners then checking their phones is the only way.

[Saa]

.

Edited August 7, 2015 by Saa

[Guest Guest]

It's always easier said than done. The problem is can the affected party let go? If he seriously love one guy and he cheated him, how to let the relationship come to an end?

[Guest Ah boy]

My bf wants to break with me after he found someone for less than a month, that suits him more. But I still love him and think of him everyday. What should I do.

[Guest 李莫愁]

这样寡情薄意的渣男丢了也罢！

[fab]

这样寡情薄意的渣男丢了也罢！

 

侠女说的好，果然不是浪得虚名。

[Guest Ah boy]

I know. But I still love him deeply and think of him day and night. 怎么样丢？

[Guest Guest]

I know. But I still love him deeply and think of him day and night. 怎么样丢？

 

Beg him to accept you back as his mistress.

[snowball]

I know. But I still love him deeply and think of him day and night. 怎么样丢？

记住，现实是残酷的，不是你"丢"他，而是他抛弃你，把你给甩了，不管你要不要，是否可以接受，他不再需要你，不再爱你，就算你如何多情，如何牵挂，他的世界已经没有你的存在，决定权不在你这边，明白吗?

[snowball]

[Guest Ah boy]

记住，现实是残酷的，不是你"丢"他，而是他抛弃你，把你给甩了，不管你要不要，是否可以接受，他不再需要你，不再爱你，就算你如何多情，如何牵挂，他的世界已经没有你的存在，决定权不在你这边，明白吗?

现实真的很残酷。我每天用泪水洗脸。很想死了算了。

[Guest 李莫愁]

估计你还年少，可必须把眼线放长。往后还有许多机会找到挚爱。你现在可能看不透。去听听孙大姐的“天黑黑”。

[Guest Guest]

I don't think anything could be worst than what happened to me and my boyfriend a few years ago at a gay sauna in HK. Unbeknown to both of us, we lied to each other we were going back to our respective hometown when we both went to HK to have fun and we bumped into each other at the same sauna! I think it was fate.....we both cheated on each other at the same time. Imagine the surprise on our faces when he walked out of a room with another guy and I was standing at the corridor waiting for my prey......I was the first one to react and threw a punch at his face. He retaliated by shouting some vulgar words at me for pretending to be a saint! We then went our separate way.

When we met in Singapore, we both didn't want to be the first to say sorry.....a few days later he moved out of my apartment and my life.

I thought you were such a slut for lying to me and cheating on me and yet you had the gall to punch me first! I will never forgive you and I will make sure you pay for your sin!!! You will never guess what I did at your place before I left that day! I want you to live in fear daily especially when you bring another slut home.....

In case you want to know, I found a rich daddy to love me and pamper me. I just moved into his condo near Orchard!

[Guest Guest]

I thought you were such a slut for lying to me and cheating on me and yet you had the gall to punch me first! I will never forgive you and I will make sure you pay for your sin!!! You will never guess what I did at your place before I left that day! I want you to live in fear daily especially when you bring another slut home.....

In case you want to know, I found a rich daddy to love me and pamper me. I just moved into his condo near Orchard!

 

I felt that he should not have punched you but he did out of jealousy and anger.  Both are in the wrong and no one is more wrong than the other even though he landed the first punch.  Forgive and moved on.

[Guest guest]

I don't think anything could be worst than what happened to me and my boyfriend a few years ago at a gay sauna in HK. Unbeknown to both of us, we lied to each other we were going back to our respective hometown when we both went to HK to have fun and we bumped into each other at the same sauna! I think it was fate.....we both cheated on each other at the same time. Imagine the surprise on our faces when he walked out of a room with another guy and I was standing at the corridor waiting for my prey......I was the first one to react and threw a punch at his face. He retaliated by shouting some vulgar words at me for pretending to be a saint! We then went our separate way.

When we met in Singapore, we both didn't want to be the first to say sorry.....a few days later he moved out of my apartment and my life.

Both of you are made for each other! Equally 下贱. But you win because you one more - 无耻。You are shameless enough to punch him so you are more liw life & you win.

[Guest guest]

I thought you were such a slut for lying to me and cheating on me and yet you had the gall to punch me first! I will never forgive you and I will make sure you pay for your sin!!! You will never guess what I did at your place before I left that day! I want you to live in fear daily especially when you bring another slut home.....

In case you want to know, I found a rich daddy to love me and pamper me. I just moved into his condo near Orchard!

 

Both of you are horrible lying cunts. Yo deserve each other actually!  

[Guest guest]

I know. But I still love him deeply and think of him day and night. 怎么样丢？

 

BUT does he even think of you? NO. Did he even consider your feelings when he hurt you? NO. Does he even love you or miss you? NO. 

 

So snap out of it, start dating and find somebody new!!! There is something called karma. He will get his just desserts, you just wait and see! 

[Guest Ah boy]

BUT does he even think of you? NO. Did he even consider your feelings when he hurt you? NO. Does he even love you or miss you? NO.

So snap out of it, start dating and find somebody new!!! There is something called karma. He will get his just desserts, you just wait and see!

I know all the above answers are no. But still pinning some hope that he will change his heart and come back to me.

I am waiting for karma to happen real soon to him so he will come back to me too.

[tyan]

Ah boy, I understand what you are going through. No wonder they say love is blind. U won't be able to see it unlike the people around you who can rationalize. In fact, I am facing the same thing. Or worse than u. The one I am waiting for is a straight who will never reciprocate my love. 

Just keep moving, time will heal it. It will take a long time but what to do. It is growing up process. Find things to do and u will feel better. I am now trying to keep myself occupied with work.

[Guest Guest]

I know all the above answers are no. But still pinning some hope that he will change his heart and come back to me.

I am waiting for karma to happen real soon to him so he will come back to me too.

if youhave such thinking, karma won't treat yu nice either, cos you are not that innocent and kind too, even he break off, he will not come back to you, you are not as good as you thought, perhaps he already see that he has no future with you, just face the fact.

[puppyfart]

Isn't this part of growing up?

Even if he does come back to you, there is no guarantee he won't find another in another month's time.

He's just not ready to settle down.

You love some, you leave some.

 

My bf wants to break with me after he found someone for less than a month, that suits him more. But I still love him and think of him everyday. What should I do.

[Guest Remorseful]

After reading a few of the post here, how I wish my bf can be as forgiving as some of u guys.

A moment of folly caused me to lose everything w a snap. No matter how I acknowledge my mistakes and prove my sincerity to change for better, no chance was given. I am still trying and praying though it does not seem positive.

Very pain but I only have myself to blame.

So guys. Never ever do things that will make u regret for a lifetime.

[Guest Guest]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 months now. When we started our relationship, he and his ex boyfriend are still together. The ex boyfriend tried to save the relationship but my boyfriend didn't care because he is with me already. I am scare that he might have someone behind me given that he can find me when he is attached with his ex. Should I continue in this relationship although we really love each other.

[Syaqifiq]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 months now. When we started our relationship, he and his ex boyfriend are still together. The ex boyfriend tried to save the relationship but my boyfriend didn't care because he is with me already. I am scare that he might have someone behind me given that he can find me when he is attached with his ex. Should I continue in this relationship although we really love each other.

I guess it depends on you. If you look at a relationship as a way to develop each other, stay on and improve. Both parties must benefit from this special relationship. However, if you're afraid of him using his modus operandi, then it follows that you should leave him before he leaves you.

 

But truth be told, you can't prevent someone from leaving you. Love is a massive investment with no promise of return. I guess people still do it because the return, when it happens, is worth it. Or maybe they just want to learn about love.