Cheating Boyfriend / Lover + Why Cheat when In a Relationship? (Compiled)

[feedersmiracle]

So far 3 years in, we agreed that if anything was not ok we have to speak to each other. And we're always sharing our problems and fighting each other's battles together with 2 brains instead of just 1. 

 

Guess that's how we continue to be together until now.

[Guest BlinkTwice]

On 8/17/2019 at 11:26 PM, Steve5380 said:

 

If you like to dine in fine sea-food restaurants and steak houses,

does this make you an "animal predator"?  

 

Makes sense.

[Guest Mary]

22 minutes ago, Guest BlinkTwice said:

 

Makes sense.

Any simple logic will make sense to this topic simply to begin with the topic was stupid .... to wuliao , nothing to do , create this type of no brainer topic 

[Guest instagramers]

do gay instagramers have sex with other instagramers frequently?

they are hot and famous. surely there are a lot of temptations

[mate69]

6 hours ago, Guest instagramers said:

do gay instagramers have sex with other instagramers frequently?

they are hot and famous. surely there are a lot of temptations

Am sure they do 

[FattChoy]

On 5/13/2017 at 2:03 AM, Guest Msqyv said:

Don't they feel guilty ? 

Idk why but if I were them I will never able to bring myself to do such things no matter what.

 

if I were them I will never able to forget what I Did and pretend nothing happened infront of my Boyfriend . 

 

It's kinda sad that relationship after all is not simple as what I think 

 

You're sad.  

[Guest Diabolo]

Why some people still drinking coke while having diabetes?

[Guest Draf]

8 hours ago, Guest Diabolo said:

Why some people still drinking coke while having diabetes?

Fighting a fire with fire.

[Guest Guest]

to cut it short... humans are not meant to be monogamous if you are talking biological or science. so i guess its normal.

[Guest Guest]

It's our human or animal nature to find different partners to distribute our genes.

[Innocentguy]

Many guys in grindr invited me to have fun when their bf is not in town.met one with so hot looking n muscular guy with heavy cock to fuck him. Told him to invite me whenever his bf is not in town. Hehe

[Guest Guest]

34 minutes ago, Innocentguy said:

Many guys in grindr invited me to have fun when their bf is not in town.met one with so hot looking n muscular guy with heavy cock to fuck him. Told him to invite me whenever his bf is not in town. Hehe

 

thought you are innocent?

[Innocentguy]

16 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

thought you are innocent?

When i created my nick for this forum. 

[Guest what to do]

I suspect that my bf is still using those apps and camming with guys despite being attached. I know that most couples cheat. How do you go about resolving this? This is not the first time. Does it make me a cheater by creating a fake profile to track him down as well?

[Guest snowball]

if this is not the first, it won't be last too, you not the one who can let him settle down, either talk to him , take it close one eye, or leave him, as what you think, you just suspect, if you don't trust him anymore, look for one that able to make you feel safe.

[fab]

Dump him.

 

Singlehood beats wronglihood.  

 

[sg_helios]

1 hour ago, Guest snowball said:

if this is not the first, it won't be last too, you not the one who can let him settle down, either talk to him , take it close one eye, or leave him, as what you think, you just suspect, if you don't trust him anymore, look for one that able to make you feel safe

I also in the same situation before, I absolutely agree that if this is not the first time and it won’t be the last time too.... what I did is I’ve broke up with him. Let him continue his adventures... this is only about myself, think properly before action. 

[kys0n]

Most couples DO NOT cheat lol. Not sure what kind of warped mindset the TS has by even thinking that way. If you don't trust him, just talk to him and end it if he's not willing to change. You can definitely find a better and faithful boyfriend who actually subscribes to monogamy like you.

[Guest Guest]

Instal app. Contact tracter to check on his movement. Catch red handed better than complain here.maybe can get all yr sister to bash the third party.thats wat usualy hk movie did.

[Guest cheats]

There are so many threads with the same topic here. 

 

Read this yesterday at the other thread:

 

On 5/5/2020 at 12:41 PM, singalion said:

 

Sure not all the same, but surprisingly I see a lot of those "Partnered" profiles at the apps and in their write up they are only looking for "kopi" friends and not for sex. But surprisingly they chat you up and ask for fun.

I don't judge them. They need to make it out with their partners.

 

My point is still: The apps are just a tool to find a sex partner, but they are not the reason for them having flings or sex with other guys outside their relationship. it is probably the dick who is on fault but not the fact the bf has grindr installed on his phone or not.

 

It is good to know if you plan ahead and make sure there is sufficient distraction in your relationship. It helps in the long term as much as it helps to understand the likings and dislikings of your partner.

But be prepared, hanky panky can happen. It is better to be ready to cope with any such situation.

In my personal experience, having touched issues as cheating after some early time of the relationship is more important. And finding rules or a common understanding.

And: Give the other a chance to explain and give him a chance to come back to terms. Too often your throw everything away without knowing whether anything better will come ahead. And don't forget how long it might take to find a new relationship. Times change persons too, it might have been your bf who was weak once but it might be you who was weak some years later.

If you talk to husbands they will say the same, sex is a routine, they will just do with their wife to give her the feeling, but in real the husband is bored to death with the sex with his wife after many years. it is just a fact. Maybe, I more realistic on these issues. I don't think sex is the thing that binds people into a relationship.

 

[Guest Hakarmahityoulikebijj]

If you can get into a relationship w another guy and theres many cases of him cheating its probably cuz his good looking. Well the downsides of dating a good looking guy is that they'll always cheat on you and they will forever remain unfaithful because of the power that their looks give them. Being born genetically superior has its ugly sides. So to solve your problems, don't date a good looking guy, they don't deserve love anyway, seeing as they already get enough attention from all the thirsty hoes surrounding them.

[repressednerd]

On 5/7/2020 at 2:21 PM, Guest Guest said:

Instal app. Contact tracter to check on his movement. Catch red handed better than complain here.maybe can get all yr sister to bash the third party.thats wat usualy hk movie did.

 

Referencing Thai drama, slap the third party then you can pull/tear his clothes although for women they can pull the hair. Next day either your bf comes to break up with you or threaten you by holding your neck against the wall, or the third party's mother or close friend intercepts you in public and give you a tight slap so hard that you fall to the ground, in front of everyone. 

 

6 minutes ago, Guest Hakarmahityoulikebijj said:

If you can get into a relationship w another guy and theres many cases of him cheating its probably cuz his good looking. Well the downsides of dating a good looking guy is that they'll always cheat on you and they will forever remain unfaithful because of the power that their looks give them. Being born genetically superior has its ugly sides. So to solve your problems, don't date a good looking guy, they don't deserve love anyway, seeing as they already get enough attention from all the thirsty hoes surrounding them.

 

My ex was good looking. I got tired of his arguments about threatening this and that so I stopped reacting to his anger etc whatsoever. True enough he cheated on me (as revenge) with a younger guy. I simply told him he fell into his own trap, and asked his new partner to move him out. His friends think I'm a monster, but being a monster feels better than a slave to the relationship. 

[Guest drama queen]

On 10/26/2019 at 10:41 AM, Guest Can bet like that? said:

a friend lost a bet. No money to pay up. send his partner as a pawn to offset. Can meh ?

 

Then he was shaved head to toe to fulfil the bet in a sauna.

 

The bet winners were on look out to take the pawn.

 

sounds like a good drama plot device 

[Guest Sigh]

Without hard data, no one here knows for sure if infidelity is the norm in the gay male population, but what most can agree on is that a significant proportion of gay men have trouble being faithful to their partners - or, at least, this subset of the population seems to be very visible. 

 

But it doesn't have to be the case for you. As long as you and your partner are sincere and serious about it, I think it is still possible for two consenting gay men to be in a happy, drama-free, stable, faithful monogamous long-term relationship. 

 

Some people will disagree. Usually these are people who are more senior in age and have grown bitter. Some even go as far as to disparage monogamy altogether. It's kinda condescending.  But not to completely diss them; in the past when conditions weren't as conducive for monogamous relationships, I understand that things could genuinely have been tough and depressing. But things are getting better now. 

 

Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean your boyfriend suddenly becomes the only male person your eyes can visually perceive. We still have our hormones and all. Temptation may be there, but it is what one does about it that makes the difference; your value system. Finding someone who is on the same page as you, and communication, are very, very important things. 

[Guest sian sian]

i am in a very long term relationship.

i know several gay couples who are in long term relationships (more than 15, 20 years)

one thing in common, we are all in various form of open relationships.

 

we can love and be committed to each other, but we choose not to stick to some weird notion that monogamy is somehow essential.

i love my partner, and i know he loves me.

why should i deprive him the opportunity of having fun?

as if "not cheating" means more love?

please move on from the closed minded Victorian mindset

 

[shrugs]

tbh, i don't believe in relationship. 

why need to invest emotions if pleasure/fun is what everyone is fundamentally after? 

thus i think TS question should be rephrased. 

it is not that cheating is a trend.

it is that the derivation of pleasure/fun has become the primary goal/motivation of human interaction in recent times. 

btw this is as much a gay problem as it is a straight problem. 

i have heard plenty of such stories amongst my straight friends too.

whilst we gay folks have blowingwind and grindr, our straight folks have undertable.org and tinder.

 

[Guest Cinderalla]

26 minutes ago, Guest sian sian said:

i am in a very long term relationship.

i know several gay couples who are in long term relationships (more than 15, 20 years)

one thing in common, we are all in various form of open relationships.

 

we can love and be committed to each other, but we choose not to stick to some weird notion that monogamy is somehow essential.

i love my partner, and i know he loves me.

why should i deprive him the opportunity of having fun?

as if "not cheating" means more love?

please move on from the closed minded Victorian mindset

 

The word "Cheat" in itself is not a virtue.  The rest no need to argue.   I want a virtuous husband who treated me like Gem which nobody in his eyes can compare.

[shrugs]

1 minute ago, Guest Cinderalla said:

The word "Cheat" in itself is not a virtue.  The rest no need to argue.   I want a virtuous husband who treated me like Gem which nobody in his eyes can compare.

me too.

that's why i am still single.

HAHA

 

[Guest Guest]

On 10/18/2019 at 2:21 PM, Guest Grumpboi said:

I don't understand why people can't stay committed and faithful to their partner?

 

Are Gay relationship more prone to cheating/Infidelity? 

 

I seen many cases where my friends relationship ended, it's all for the same reason. 

 

 

 

Its in fashion to cheat! As gays are fashionistas and a follower of trends, gays and their parrners can discuss the latest trends in cheating. If you are not on trend, other gays will laugh at you. No face! So like the hermes bags or Charles & Keith shoes, gays must be fashion and follow trend! 

[snowball]

trends? it depends on how much you can resist the temptation, how much you love your partner.

[lean n mean]

Temptations are too easily accessed these days. And men can separate love from sex. Sexual fidelity is very rare in this age amongst those in long-term relationships.

[Fridays]

5 minutes ago, lean n mean said:

Temptations are too easily accessed these days. And men can separate love from sex. Sexual fidelity is very rare in this age amongst those in long-term relationships.

so gay men do seperate love from sex ?

i thought was only bi and married man issue to flirt gay sex only - now include gay ltr too !

 

 

[tyan]

I dun think trend is the right word. Cheating has been on for the longest time ever since from the longest time before. Maybe what happen now is that people are more forthcoming on cheating. They are able to give reasons to justify their cheat. I have many couples friends around me but not once I heard about cheating. I am not sure if they cheat but dun share or what. 

[TT2880]

On 10/18/2019 at 2:21 PM, Guest Grumpboi said:

I don't understand why people can't stay committed and faithful to their partner?

 

Are Gay relationship more prone to cheating/Infidelity? 

 

I seen many cases where my friends relationship ended, it's all for the same reason. 

 

 

 

Hi there,

 

There are two questions in your post. 

 

In your first qn, you sought to find an answer to why can't people be committed and faithful. In your next qn, you questioned why gay relationships are prone to cheating and infidelity. These two questions are actually the same, just that the former highlights the difficulties people face in practising something which is virtue whereas it seems so much easier for people, regardless of their sexual orientation but noticably gay in particular, to cheat. Finally, you concluded with the topic title, is cheating your partner a trend today. This conclusion, drew from your personal observation that many of your friends' relationship failed because of their act of cheating. A pity indeed!

 

Cheating is not jus a gay thing. Straight people cheat too. And it is not a gender exclusive act. There are husbands who cheat and there are wives who cheat too. 

 

To the cheater's victim this is an atrocious and unacceptable act. (In case there are people who feel this concept as too conservative, here we are not talking about liberal minded people who are agreeable with open relationship or partner sharing arrangements. The gentleman who started this thread is not one for sure.) But, to the cheater, they will definitely find reasons to justify his/her act. It sure seems like it is human nature to fail in resisting temptation; a human flaw out of circumstances; a deprivation; Whatever the reasons are, the damage and the pain infidelity inflicted onto their partner is devastating. Why? The fundamental of a healthy relationship is broken.  Love betrayed. Trust is gone. Everything that was once so lovely are questionable. These beautiful past are no longer real to a person whose heart is shattered. This is the rule of cause and effect. With this in mind, this awareness is a big enough deterrent for many who truly cherish and who has a good sense of contentment in their relationship. 

 

So what made people still cheat despite the grievous repercussions? Our Greed to have more or better partners. Our lust for pleasure. A boost to our ego when we are able to attract unwanted attractions. These are the evils in us, which when unguarded seems so right to the person who is getting the chance to cheat. 

 

Why gays seems to be more prone then? To begin with, being gay itself has too many challenges to have a committed relationship and too many opportunities to cheat. We need not look elsewhere, jus go thru the various threads here and it tells everything. First, finding love is tough. When one found his love, they may not have the option to live together. Marriage is out of the question in countries that forbid and penalize same sex marriage. Even when they lived together, fostering and building the relationship is another tough and enduring journey that many eventually give up. So the hurdles gays have in their hands are definitely a lot more than what a straight couple wld have to deal with, ceteris paribus. 

 

Nonetheless, as in all my other posts here, never give up in believing there is committed and sustainable long term relationship amongst gay couple. Even when you have not come across, they do exist. 

 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Regards. 

[koolkai]

On 10/18/2019 at 2:21 PM, Guest Grumpboi said:

I don't understand why people can't stay committed and faithful to their partner?

 

Are Gay relationship more prone to cheating/Infidelity? 

 

I seen many cases where my friends relationship ended, it's all for the same reason. 

 

 

 

 

Sadly, gay relationship is extremely fragile. As guys are attracted easily by the physical appearance and less on the emotional attachment, they tend to have affairs with other guys even if they are in a relationship 😢

[Guest Guest]

Different strokes for different folks.

 

While most of us will agree it’s extremely pleasing and enjoyable to commit a sexual act with someone who’s “my kind of guy”, there’ll always be another group of people who believe in staying committed, regardless what happens, even if they’re become single again.  Reason is they believe such acts of intimacy should be carried out with someone who’s equally committed as they are (in a relationship). 

 

Some are pragmatic - because it’s the aftermath that they do not wish to deal with. The heightened sense of loneliness, emptiness and loss after the act is done. It has a spiral downward effect and before you know it, you’re on the hunt again.
 

Just like a table full of delicious food - people tend to go for what they prefer, leaving what they like less for the others. Look for potential partners who share the same values and beliefs and the odds of success will be higher, bearing in mind things and people do change. That’s life.

[Guest Alec]

On 5/9/2018 at 2:53 PM, Guest hmm said:

What would you guys do if your partner is constantly saying he is busy with work? And one day you caught him going overseas with another guy with intention of hiding from you. I really love him a lot, but I feel that I’m loving him more than he is to me. The frequency of us having a conv or even meet up has been reduced tremendously due to his “busy with work”. I have been very accommodating towards him, and I still don’t know how he feel about me. I’m having so much mixed feeling, thinking about the positive and negative side while he is there with another guy. Like what is their intention of going overseas, maybe he hid the truth so that I won’t think too much? Etc. In the past, He has been treating me very well, and I don’t wish to hurt his feelings. 

 

Leave him and move on. You deserve someone better.

[Guest Kahlol]

it takes two to tango. Thinks about yourself why he would cheat

[Guest Kahlol]

What are the forms of cheat? Which one had victimized you? How did you get over?

[Mr lemon]

What you do if you found out that your friend is cheating? 

[practease]

MYOB

[mate69]

Yes

[GachiMuchi]

18 minutes ago, Mr lemon said:

What you do if you found out that your friend is cheating? 

 

Depends on who he cheats and what kind of cheat.

If you are being cheated by your friend then he is not your friend. Dump him straight away.

If he is cheating on his bf then it's not for you to say. 

[FattChoy]

For me, I would reassess why I have a friend like that in the first place.  If it's not a legal issue, perhaps I can try to speak to him, to get the full context of things.

 

What would you want your friend do if he found you cheating?

Edited October 8, 2020 by FattChoy

[Guest Hmm]

Does the friend know that I know he's cheating? 

 

If he does not, I would try to warn his partner anonymously. It is what I would want, if I were in the poor guy's position.

 

If he knows, things would be more complicated. What is really happening here? (try to understand the context more) Am I the only other guy who knows? 

 

Either way, I would feel pretty bad for the guy being cheated on. And my view of my friend would change - and probably not for the better.

 

4 hours ago, FattChoy said:

For me, I would reassess why I have a friend like that in the first place.  If it's not a legal issue, perhaps I can try to speak to him, to get the full context of things.

 

What would you want your friend do if he found you cheating?

Seconded.

[Steve5380]

Having casual sex is not a crime (except in 377A) and it may not even be morally wrong.

 

Cheating is having casual sex when there are expectations that this should not happen.

 

So to avoid to be cheating, to be a cheater,  one should try to avoid the situations where casual sex is not supposed to happen.

[Mr lemon]

On 10/8/2020 at 9:00 PM, Guest Hmm said:

Does the friend know that I know he's cheating? 

 

If he does not, I would try to warn his partner anonymously. It is what I would want, if I were in the poor guy's position.

 

If he knows, things would be more complicated. What is really happening here? (try to understand the context more) Am I the only other guy who knows? 

 

Either way, I would feel pretty bad for the guy being cheated on. And my view of my friend would change - and probably not for the better.

 

Seconded.

So A and B were dating. while dating B got feeling for C. B and C got hold hand and kiss but at the same time, b claimed still got feeling for A.

[Mr lemon]

On 10/8/2020 at 4:15 PM, practease said:

MYOB

Got it.

[FattChoy]

On 10/8/2020 at 4:10 PM, Mr lemon said:

What you do if you found out that your friend is cheating? 

Cheating starts from the mind and/ or heart .  Do you cheat?

[Guest Jaypee21]

I haven't slept at all in days. It's been so long since we've talked and I have been here many times I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.