Forbidden Attractions - Larry's Life Story

[Yas1950]

Larry I will reply in a PM to you. Cheers.

[Larry]

I enjoy reading your story, in particular on Chapter 6 on your close encounter with Raymond... So to this day to have a lady boy as girlfriend remains a fantasy... I assumed I were Raymond & did the role play to satisfy my desire, holding your small & dances intimately.

I am glad to note that my story is able to help you in fulfilling your fantasy, it is a worthy endeavour.

And when you asks me to dance, you’re got to be taller than me, that your nose will not hit my bra as I will be on high heel, but rather the starlight in your eyes stare into mine, hehe… just a joke, okay.

[Larry]

Larry I will reply in a PM to you. Cheers.

Noted. I will reply directly to your story.

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 7: Run-in With Anti-Vice

 

Scattered, we sat on the benches lining against three sides of the wall, two were talking, one coughing & the rest staring blankly. For me, I had no one to talk to, as the first girl I met was not with me this time, altogether a very grim atmosphere inside the cell.

 

I was still keeping hopes of quick release, but overheard one girl saying that we would be interrogated one by one. It was terribly cold on the benches, my butts were literally freezing off without the panties, I tried stretching my skirt but to no avail.

 

Time passed for an unknown duration as all watches were quarantine, nothing really happened & the cell was now dead silent, except the occasional yelling & shouting outside, the muffled voices plus opening & closing of metal gate coming from the next cell…

 

I was depressed about this whole thing, cold; hungry, nervous, anxious & no idea of the actual time… I was very tired, so I leaned against the wall & closed my eyes, trying to get some sleep, fitfully…

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

I was already half asleep when the gate open. We all got tensed up with anxiety when the cop brought out a girl with long boots & leather miniskirt. “Hmm, looks like they start the interrogation…” said someone.

 

“Remember; don’t tell them anything on soliciting…” reminded another one.

 

The girl was brought back & a new one was escorted out. She slumped down onto the bench & couldn’t stop shaking.

 

I was mortified seeing this while a girl asked, “Hey, take it easy, what happening?”

 

“They said they are going to call my parents…” replied the crying girl.

 

“What is this nonsense?” another one said at the top of her voice, “you already over 21, right don’t you? They’re just trying to crack you up, so you admitted right?”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

I was in a chair in a small interrogation room. Across the table was a plain cloth that had a hard look on his face, "Your name… young lady?"

 

"Uh… I’m Koh, Koh xx." I replied sheepishly.

 

Rubbing his neck, he flipped over a stack of file. “Damn…” he swore when a few slipped & fell to the floor. Bending to pick the fallen ones up, he asked for my name again.

 

“Ah, here…” shoving a stack of file aside, he finally found it.

 

"Okay... now beginning interrogation of Koh xx & I’m the investigation officer," said the plain cloth in a deep dark manly tone as he read through the file. "Koh," he glanced up with the file in his hand, "here, this form says you are male but you’re dressing up as a girl."

 

It didn't take a genius to figure this out; I mused & glanced at the clock which showed one o’clock after midnight, “So?”

 

“You dressed & worked in Changi Village,” he then asked me how much I charged to get laid.

 

“I beg your pardon officer,” recalled Amy reminder of deny & more denies under such situation, I continued, “never, never & never…”

 

The table shook as he banged his fist on it, "Don’t you dare lie to me?"

 

“Sir, I’m not lying.”

 

“Then what is your occupation?” he pursued.

 

There was a pause, occupation, what a redundant question… I blinked for an appropriate answer.

 

"Koh…?"

 

"Yeah…"

 

"You still haven't answered my question."

 

“Tutor, giving tuition to primary & secondary students…” I sighed & wondered how wise it was I managed to find an answer.

 

“Really, you worked as a tutor?” leaning back in his chair he asked.

 

“Yes, I’m not bluffing, I graduated with a degree in Engineering, you can check with NUS.”

 

His tone was mocking, “Okay, but your students had no problem on your cross dressing?”

 

“No problem at all… as long as I am able to help them in getting good scores, alright.”

 

“Are you married?”

 

I was dumbfounded as this idiot asked another silly question.

 

“Okay, never mind, ignores that question. Would you mind telling me why you came to Changi Village, don’t tell me you went there for sightseeing?” said the plain cloth with a sarcastic tone.

 

“Well, I came to Changi Village to meet my friend,”

 

Shaking his head he said, “I don’t believe, please tell me the truth,”

 

“I spoke the truth,” raising my voice I argued.

 

“If you’re innocent, then why you ran when our officers asked you to stop…?”

 

“How can I don’t run if people start chasing me without showing me their warrants?”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

About five in the morning, I was escorted to collect my belongings & given a warning not to come to Changi Village again before my release. I got back to Amy’s house close to six in the morning. Amy & Ester rushed out from their rooms while I unlocked the main gate; apparently they came back early & waited for my return.

 

"Hey girl, we were worried about you." said Amy.

 

"Jen, are you okay? We were worried when Tracy saw you got arrested by the anti-vice." asked Ester.

 

I told them I was fine but was too tired to talk. Entered my room, I slept for fifteen hours to forget what had been one of the worst nights of my life.

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 7 ---------------------

Edited January 10, 2018 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 8: Jennifer, is that you?

 

To forget the agony & shame was indeed extremely difficult, it affected me deeply, fragmentally & in small sections, the ugly incident stored within my brain & surfaced in my fearful dreams repeatedly.

 

I spoke to Amy about this, she felt that instead of trying to forget how horrible it had been, use the experience as a learning one, face it & deal with it head on, “Listen, you can stop coming to Changi Village, but no guarantee this would not happen elsewhere so long as you continue to cross dress. Raiding is part & parcel of our live as lady boy; the only way is to improve our confidence & responsiveness.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

After one week rest, I came to Changi Village & continued my new life, on Friday & Saturday evening for the next nine months. As usual, with Amy & Ester, we shared cab on going & in the morning, took Michael’s taxi who was Amy confidant to return home.

 

Hugging & cheek to cheek, the group comforted me as I spoke about the ugly incident. Their concern touched my heart, the friendship started from here, such as sharing a small umbrella under the rain in the wee hours… sheltered under the stair sharing body warm in those cool winding evenings… crying hearts out on each shoulder about facing nasty clients… sharing one can of drink… passed up client to whom who did badly that evening… alerted the group to the raids by anti-vice & etc., the list go on… it is much stronger than family members & stays even many of us are no longer active in the fresh trade

 

Maggie was an interesting young girl, sweet to me & liked to share with me food bought from nearby coffee shop. There was once the group seeking refuge from the heavy rain, at 2 a.m. in the shop corridor which was dark & deserted. After sharing with her two cans of beer, apparently drunk she stripped nude & did a short catwalk. Pulling my hand to join her, I complied but with bra & panties remained. It was fairly silly but fun, on a primal level.

 

To stay within the group, my academic background was thrown away, I could be an achiever for 20 years but no one would know… it was all about staying in the poker face. I just didn’t know what would be their reaction, to be fair.

 

Soliciting wise, as reminded by Amy, it was best to keep it outdoor, but occasionally accepted proposition when visiting the ladies at the coffee shop, the deal was sealed in discreet making sure the staff & the patrons there weren't watching.

 

Note: It paid well & was difficult to say no when anal sex was proposed, but a catch-22 situation too because of contradictory constraints. Consciously I felt unease when that yucky male appendage in-between my groin was touched or played, moreover when my nipples (the G-spots) were fondle, then the oozing wetness would cause further embarrassment. However during the penetration (with rubber of course), I sort of enjoying it minimally… I missed that unrestrained free flow of Kong’ hot semen in my body, really…

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Changi Village might be a filthy place, what outsiders saw was the negative image of lady boys, slim figures in skimpy clothing & ostensibly push-up breasts lurking in the shadows. When people talked about lady boys, first thing they would say were; Changi village. Were lady boys only good for that (negative image)? Ousted or ran away from home as young as 17, many started off as lone ranger, secretive to all acquaintances, no job, no income & incomplete schooling, where could they go?

 

Gays had it better as most didn't stick out like sore thumb in their work environment; lady boys on the other hand were dealt with the poor end of the deal. If not in Changi Village, where else could they earn their living? How could they live their life with head held high without prejudice? Could society accept & give them a life base on their capabilities? Falling away from here, many works as beautician, hair stylist kind of jobs, why not designers, engineers or accountants & etc. relevant to their studies? This is for you to answer, the societal roles of these people.

 

I kept my distance from lady boys outside the group, as some were really themselves & some were pretty, but rather way too stuck-up to befriend with. Like genetic females, lady boys are a strange creature, male body but with an acute womanly mentality. Jealousy, inferiority complex & bitchy, we own these elements to certain extent. There were unspoken undercurrents & hostility, I wouldn’t want to be their competitor, but I couldn’t prevent the cruisers on approaching me, to be fair.

 

Note: post or pre-ops, once retired from Changi Village, most memory erase about life here, acted blur without saying hello when we met & some work in Europe. Why couldn't they find job in their motherland, Singapore?

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Routinely I went for my monthly hormone jab which took care of my depression, lethargy & irritability. The hormone made its effect as my body moved steadily towards more girlish. And my physical looks changed too, noticeably… my hair grew longer & eyebrows were much thinly arched that you would find on many women. Taken together, these changes make me looked less androgynous & had a huge effect on how well I presented as a woman.

 

I wasn’t sure what the future held; logically envisaging the genital surgery was the concluded destiny, but at this point of my life, I’d no desire to have this done. Unlike Amy & some other group members who were real transsexuals, I was just a cross dresser.

 

Admittedly, there was aspect of this vision, but not anymore. Then, I planned working towards to be Mrs. Kong, but the goal was shattered… lacking that motivation, I compelled not to plan out my life though still presenting myself as a woman but emphasized on the journey, enjoyed wearing female clothes, assumed female mannerism when presenting myself as a woman & lived one day at a time.

 

Note: But life was never so simple, years later I switched back to guy mode, for the sake of 5C, that materialism outstripped transvestism. Living fulltime as a woman remains a wonderful fantasy, but regardless of my current gender, I still want to look good - be that looking or looking more feminine or both. Perhaps it all stems from vanity. This approach applies to my being a transpersonal.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

And came January with the beginning of new school year, I was back to give tuitions on week days.

 

Beside one individual tuition class continued from the previous year, I was so excited when the tuition centre arranged me three group tuition classes at the centre. It paid well as I got to collect 95% of the fee except a 50% commission levied by the centre for the first month.

 

First day first group & first lesson, I smiled & waved as I entered the classroom nervously. Writing my name on the whiteboard I spoke, “Good afternoon class, I’m your math teacher.”

 

“Good afternoon Miss Koh,” the class of 5 students smiled & replied in unison.

 

A validation of my dreams, I was thrilled, I was a girl, in this small class & in a totally accepting environment, for the first lesson.

 

I began the lesson & looking forward to attend the other two classes.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

So life went on as usual, I felt compel to have a satisfying life as I was living it, not until I met him, Shawn, on that fateful evening…

 

Living a satisfying life is really all that any of us can hope for, isn’t?

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Guest fan]

very well written, i simply like this story.

[Didi1991]

Hey! I spent reading your stories since 3am from the First chapter. I really love your stories. Honestly, I cried a couple of times, I cried the worst about Kong's death. Upon reading your stories, I feel like I have known you forever. And thanks to you, you educated me as well as other readers about XD and TS. Please continue writing! I can't wait for the next installment.

Regard,

Didi

[Alexandre]

Have been reading and completed Marky's, Eddy's and Larry's(Urs) Life stories, Both u and Eddy(Yas) seem to share the same fate, although Yas was a lot luckier in his "Career" and his life, I'm much inspired by all 3 of the stories being shared here, the fluency of writing and the emotions being portrayed in between each installment. It seems as though i'm part of the story as i'm pretty much engrossed with your way of writing, it creates a common space and an environment to let readers(Like me) think about what would happen in the next installment to come. Not only do i emphasize with your state, i would also applaude your courage and bravery to write this wonderful story. Am patiently waiting for the next installment

With Warm Regards;

Alexandre

[Larry]

... you educated me as well as other readers about XD and TS...

The life to be a street prostitute, when men paid me money to cuddle or do things you’d never imagine, all these would make you sick. I’m glad that you still like my story, thanks.

[Alexandre]

Larry is back!

[Larry]

Have been reading and completed Marky's, Eddy's and Larry's(Urs) Life stories, Both u and Eddy(Yas) seem to share the same fate, although Yas was a lot luckier in his "Career" and his life, I'm much inspired by all 3 of the stories being shared here, the fluency of writing and the emotions being portrayed in between each installment. It seems as though i'm part of the story as i'm pretty much engrossed with your way of writing, it creates a common space and an environment to let readers(Like me) think about what would happen in the next installment to come.

I've heard about great stories by Marky & Eddy, but unfortunately I’m unable to keep up with the pace & have fallen behind on my reading to enjoy their awesome experience.

I knew just a little about Eddy’s cross dressing not long ago, that about all. So it is great to hear that he is a lot luckier in his career & life, congratulation.

Well, I’ve more to learn to improve my writing & I believe there will be more incredible contributions by others in near future.

Regards,

[Alexandre]

Thanks for taking the time in replying to my comment posted above. Have been enjoying ur postings here (:

[Larry]

Sorry, just a short & non-essential one. Nervous & excited, I need to catch some sleep for the Halloween at Zuok this evening, as Dorothy.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 8: Jennifer, is that you?

 

Starry bright night but a bit chilly, everyone was busy & I’d two jobs within the first hour. Setting was perfect, cabs lining up the streets, cars rounding the car park, cruisers walking on the pavements & others were having food & drink at nearby hawker centre, passing their time by talking noisily probably about their flirting past.

 

Suddenly within minutes strong wind, slanting rain & continuous flashes of lightning illuminated the dark sky. Joining four of us, the lady boys, pimps, hookers & other creatures of the dark took refuge in the shop corridor. Amy & the rest joined us after returning from their works, but by then the packed corridor became quite deserted as many gone with the awaiting cabs.

 

Looming large the rain despite half an hour of waiting, we agreed to have happy hours at a nearby café & resume trade when stopped raining.

 

We stopped in front of the café, right outside the door, collapsing the umbrellas, I saw live prawns & fishes nestled inside huge aquariums, swimming & squirming, enjoying their last few moments on earth. Did they know that soon they would be feasted upon on the tables inside?

 

Slipping through the door, for a moment, noticing our naughty attires, I got a bit nervous & squeezed Nancy’s arm in concern, but before I could feel too self-conscious, a waitress came & led us in. Our entrance causing a brief silence near the entrance as everyone turned to see who had coming in, then quickly regained its volume as we took a table next to the glass wall.

 

As we studied the laminated menu sheet placed on the table, a waiter came, with a shyly smile upon a smooth, youthful face. "May I help you ladies?" he asked politely. Pushing a few stray strands of black hair out of his face, I could tell he seemed a little shy.

 

"Handsome, something non-alcoholic, what’s about papaya juice?" smiling mischievously & leaning forwards, asked Sally while flaunting her C-cup breasts thru’ her sheer blouse.

 

Ester laughed & whispered to my ear, “see, same all trick again.” I whispered back, “Shit, I hate this, why create unnecessary attention.”

 

“I… I beg your pardon?” once again brushing the stubborn strands of hair out of his face, he blushed didn’t know how to react & certainly paying more attention to Sally big boobs.

 

"Ha-ha, someone has a crush on the waiter," said Maggie.

 

"Shut up." Sally laughed as she turned to face Maggie.

 

Next was Nancy chipping in with some interesting remarks, "Hey, how old are you, are you still virgin?”

 

"Uh… why?" the waiter replied looking confused.

 

"Waiter, ignore them, mad women…” thankfully, Amy came to his rescue, "just bring us a jar of beer, okay."

 

Jokingly, I blinked my eyelashes at Sally, giving her my most seductive smile, "Hey, you're going to kill that virgin boy with your big boobs."

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Guest Fun Lover]

I was at Zuok last night at around 11pm, I saw only one dressed as Dorothy. Were you in a group of three, that one with very loud hair wig, one as witch and you're in a blue sparkling super short dress carrying a candy box?

[Guest Zouker]

I was there too, but the group should be 4, the other was dressed as Wonder Woman, extremely sexy. You sure that Dorothy is Larry? I took a picture with the group & my the other friend told that he stole a glance & spotted her little buns.

I was at Zuok last night at around 11pm, I saw only one dressed as Dorothy. Were you in a group of three, that one with very loud hair wig, one as witch and you're in a blue sparkling super short dress carrying a candy box?

[Larry]

Were you in a group of three, that one with very loud hair wig, one as witch and you're in a blue sparkling super short dress carrying a candy box?

the group should be 4, the other was dressed as Wonder Woman,

Oh my god, you people are real resourceful, spot on & accurate on 3 persons as mentioned by Fun Lover & Wonder Woman as described by Zouker.

Anyway to satisfy some who’d call about the Halloween & not to distract others for the continuation of my love stories, I will write a new lead separately.

[Guest guest]

Please continue your story, too long the waiting.

[Larry]

Sorry, please allow me to finish the reporting on my Halloween 2012, probably within these 2 days before coming back to this topic.

:mellow: sorry.

[Larry]

Sorry, just a super short one to kick start after a long break. Regards,

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 8: Jennifer, is that you?

 

"Hi sisters, never see you all here before, first time here?" the club was cosy & the piped music was loud, but that didn't keep us from hearing the derogating term ‘sister’.

 

Stopping our chatting, we looked the idiot up & down, and found the ‘Ah Beng’ extremely lacking in both the looks & mannerism. In an angry tone, Amy replied, "What’s sister, get lost, okay…"

 

"Aw, why so fierce?" he said, placing his un-welcoming hand on my shoulder.

 

"Don’t touch me," shrugging his hand off, I said icily.

 

“You do this one more time, see what you will get from us,” said Sally.

 

"C’mon, babe, just let me buy you all a drink,"

 

"Sorry, that won’t be necessary, we got money to buy drink… so will you leave us alone, mister…" I hissed.

 

“Okay, so be it,” shrugging his shoulders he stalked back to his desk near to ours, there another guy was facing me who seemed to be rather involved in his drink.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Crumplerboi]

Hey Larry :clap:

Good to see ya back after a short hiatus.

Will be waiting for your next part patiently.

Cheers

[Larry]

On 12/4/2012 at 1:06 AM, Crumplerboi said:

Hey Larry

Good to see ya back after a short hiatus.

Will be waiting for your next part patiently.

Cheers

 

Sorry, was so busy recently. Can't help but need to travel to Mynmar next weekend again.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 8: Jennifer, is that you?

 

“Jennifer, aren’t you going to tell us your story?” asked Lulu.

 

Stretching out my arms behind my neck, I replied, "Aiya, don’t want la… Maggie’s toe sucking is much more interesting than mine (please refer to July 1^st 2012 posting)…"

 

“Lulu, she is still new in Changi, probably less than 2 months…” said Ester. Perking up, she continued, “Hey, you girls ready for my story?”

 

That’s right, erasing the perturbation caused by that idiot, we chatted, clapped & laughed broadly as the girls took turn to share spicy jokes & juicy stories. And there’re array of finger food we girls had ordered – chicken wings, satays, fish balls & etc. Savouring the food in front of me I listened with increasing wonder to Nancy's descriptions of a guy who loved to sniff her panties, and Tracy’s story of her wonderful encounters with an anti-vice… it was indeed a wonderful girl night out.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

“Jennifer, I can’t reach the plate over at your end,” said Nancy.

 

"What are you craving for?" I asked as there’re plates of satay & French fry in front of me.

 

“Satay…”

 

“Oh…” grabbing a stick, I then handed her the plate of satay. Taking a bite & sipped my beer, I looked around casually… and I saw a pair of eyes, someone was watching me. I snapped my gaze at the direction, that's the guy, on the same desk, facing that idiot. His gaze made me uneasy, could this be just a coincidence? Really, I hoped it was just coincidental…

 

I looked away, waited for a few seconds & took a deep breath, then looked back… and his stare was still there, though he was talking to that idiot, his eyes didn’t shift away from me. Damn… who was he? It’s seemed like he knew me…

 

I snapped my fingers & thought deeply, did I know him? Where’d I meet him? Where & who… but gradually I found him look familiar…

 

As there’re only a handful of girls here, our group of eight possibly attracted the attention. Scantily dressed, people would relate us to the lady boys working in Changi Village. What if he really knew me…? I felt fearful & worrisome, this could be disastrous. In full effect, my heart pounded, pulse quickened & mind got mushy, gosh, how I could get the hell out of here fast…

 

I wanted the fear to stop, for his stare to go away… holding my mug as I took a few sips to conceal my gaze, I felt a rubbing up my leg; it started at my calf but slowly moved up my thigh to my middle. My eyes widened & almost choked on my drink. I looked up & stared over at Sally in disbelief.

 

Placing her mug down, she winked.

 

I smirked at her, "What?"

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Guest guest]

very interesting story, in particular came from a lady perspective. well done n more please

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 8: Jennifer, is that you?

 

I saw her questioning gaze while she withdrew her foot, "What happened? You seem trouble or something?"

 

"I've... found someone staring at me," replying, as I kept looking sideways at the Peeping Tom.

 

"What…" cried Sally, a bit outraged, "who is that clown? Point to me & I will fix him up!"

 

I felt a shock went through my body, “Holy shit, you serious?"

 

“Where is that clown?” tilting her head to the side, she asked. She then looked back at me with concern, "Yeah, I mean it; people don’t fxxk around with us okay…"

 

Furrowing my eyebrows, I answered nervously, "No la… just don’t bother, I’m not ready to create a scene, it's kind of scary, right…?"

 

Reaching out to hold my hand, she smiled & replied reassuringly, “Anytime, when you’re ready.”

 

I smiled softly at Sally, "Thanks sis…"

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

It wasn't long before my lack of participation was noticed by the rest & they drew me back into the conversation. I reacted appropriately but my gaze kept straying back to the guy sitting just couple yards away. And my continued gazing stopped eventually, just intermittent glancing as he angling his head towards the Ah Beng.

 

Things suddenly didn't look so amicable between them, I could tell their conversation was getting heated & in one brief moment, the Ah Beng stood up & stormed off towards the exit, while he simply sat there sipping a beer, looking irritated.

 

Ha… serve him right, I smiled & muttered. My behaviour was bordering on sadistic & was improper, but in that moment I just couldn't help it. The attention paid was intent, so much so that I barely noticed when Nancy stood to go to the ladies, quickly I excused myself & joined her, hoping to get a better glimpse of the Peeping Tom when we passed by his table.

 

Thankfully, he didn't notice me as I walked past, but seemed rather defeated starring at the exit door… least bit of compassion towards his plight, but mildly happy with what I saw…

 

Never, never & never, don’t ever offend us the ladies… hmm...I behaved sadistically.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Guest GUEST]

LARRY,

WHEN IS YOUR NEXT CHAPTER? A BIT TOO LONG TO WAIT.

CURRENTLY READING YR PILGRIMAGE IN MYANMAR, BUT NO SPICY STUFF SO FAR LEH.

[Larry]

WHEN IS YOUR NEXT CHAPTER? A BIT TOO LONG TO WAIT.

CURRENTLY READING YR PILGRIMAGE IN MYANMAR, BUT NO SPICY STUFF SO FAR LEH.

Sorry, need to finish up my reporting on my 10 days annual pilgrimage in Myanmar before memory erase.

Thanks for reading up my trip report. For those who plan to visit Myanmar in near future, hopefully is useful. And naughty naughty naughty, what's spicy stuff you're expecting? Maybe or probably, stay tuned ok...

Regards,

Edited January 1, 2013 by Larry

[Gray]

I haven't finished reading (Up till the part when you got together with kong) but I think your story is romantic and touching.

Thanks for sharing. =)

[Guest fan]

please continue. too long to wait.

[Guest fan 2]

please continue. too long to wait.

Alamak, why wait? Go read her annual pilgrimage, equally sensual with bonus of 3 wonderful songs.

Larry, why don't you create a new thread for these sexual elements minus the tour element in the main forum?

[Larry]

Larry, why don't you create a new thread for these sexual elements minus the tour element in the main forum?

I will think about it, regards,

[Larry]

Hi, Happy Lunar New Year, sorry for the delay.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 8: Jennifer, is that you?

 

Making my way out of the ladies & standing at its exit, I chanced a glance at Peeping Tom's table & found it empty. Great, the pest had left… hmm; there was peace of mind as I returning back to my seat.

 

“Excuse me, miss…” I heard a slightly hushed voice came from behind me.

 

Turning around & feeling bore, I asked, "Yes?"

 

There, a guy standing in front of me, and to be exact that Peeping Tom. His voice had sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I studied him, starting my perusal at his lower torso, blue denim & tight fitting short sleeve showing off gym-trained arm with golden bangles at his wrist, and when I made my way up his face, sparkling stud on left ear & prominently a black mole on lower chin.

 

Familiar black mole…?

 

"Larry?" he said sounding shocked. Holy shit, how he got my male name, none of my lady friends in this hall knew this, I hissed. My eyes darted back & forth from him to my desk as he continued, “It is you, Larry… Hey, Shawn here, remember…?” with a sigh, he said earnestly.

 

My mind was racing; it's him… really… gosh, why hell brought him here? I’d lost track of him after his graduation when I was still on my third year, "Ah… you… you look… good," I composed my shock, not wanting to freak him out, floundering for something to say, at the flash of uneasiness, "I..."

 

"What are you doing here?" asked Shawn, "this is not your kind of place."

 

"Not my kind of place…" I echoed his words, "what do you mean?"

 

Sensing my anger he eyed me curiously, "Sorry, just curious… here at Changi Village?"

 

“Why, only you can come & I can’t?" shrugging uncomfortably, I gestured around the room, "Look, this is an anything goes cafe, cross-dressers & transvestites welcome, you know?" I said, smirking slightly, "even if they did realize there was something... off... about me, so what? As long as I pay for my food & drink..."

 

"Oh, sorry… I knew you since your uni days, cross dressed with just blouse & jeans…" eyeing my knee-length skirt clinging to my thin waist & obviously feminine cleavage, he continued, “but this is very difference, why you dressed likes... this?"

 

Blushing profoundly, I allowed myself a moment to compose before answering, "Are you saying I look sluttish… more like a prostitute?”

 

"Err…" he admitted, "just a bit too... too short… you working here?”

 

"Arr… why asking?" I replied nervously, still unable to look at him, "I don’t have to explain myself to anyone I know…" I said vaguely.

 

“I take it as a yes?" he asked, though it was basically a rhetorical question.

 

"You don’t get it, do you?" forcing a smile & gesturing at my clothing to make my reply more succinct, "I don’t want people back home know I work here… o… okay…" I trailed off, words halting as I realized what I’d revealed… combined with everybody perception of the place, my words only served to cement the validity of his statement.

 

"No, not to worry… I won’t,” he expounded, “you do make a very pretty girl, you know."

 

“I…” my face was almost as red as my panties, "what about you? I saw you with someone…" but whatever else I was going to say was interrupted by the return of the Ah Beng who’d left him earlier.

 

"Hey darling, who is she?" said the Ah Beng as putting his arm around Shawn’s shoulders, I could hear the teasing tone & unspoken command in his voice & was embarrassed hearing the word darling coming out from him… darling – what the shit in-between two guys.

 

"Ahem… err… she is my classmate," clearing his throat, Shawn introduced nervously, "yeah, never mind… where’re you, I guess I should be asking you that question."

 

“Sorry, l need to run; keep in touch," turning to face me, he said suddenly with a tinge of uneasiness in his voice.

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 8 ---------------------

Edited January 10, 2018 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 9: He took a chance

 

 

"... so did you all hear that Richard Marx is coming to Singapore, oh God, I am so excited." Ester babbled on as three of us walked to our usual location at Changi Village.

"Hello... who is Richard Marx?" asked Amy.

"Aww…” Ester shrieked, such a drama queen, “don't tell me you don't know who he is…"

“Ai-ya, must be one of those movie stars you read from the gossip magazine,” said Amy.

"Ha, I won't tell you." Ester replied smirking.

"Stop messing around Ester," I chipped in, "Amy, he is the singer who sings the song 'Right Here Waiting', top ten songs in Solid Gold."

“Ya, he is going to perform here for his second world tour,” said Ester.

"Relax la… Ester, stops idolize all these pop singers & don’t waste your hard earn-money," shaking her head & pursing painted red lips in a grimace, said Amy.

As we neared the location, Maggie & the rest of the girls waved at us from across the road, "Hurry up girls, Miss Amy your Toyota Crown just drove past, and Ester your Mr Singh said he is coming back later on."

“Hi, good evening,” standing beside Nancy, I looked around & waited for my first customer.

“Why so late?” asked Nancy.

“Couldn’t get a taxi,” I replied.

Nancy, a chain smoker, was quiet & stayed in the background paying least bit of interest in joining those Barbie doll gossipings. Despite our educational differences, Nancy & I clicked well & enjoyed small talks while waiting to be picked up.

"Hi, looking for you," a voice came from behind me.

Ha, it got to be Raymond, I smiled & turned around.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 9: Who took the chance?

 

"Shawn," shockingly I asked, two weeks had passed since our impromptu meet-up at the café across the street, my days settled into a routine & forgetting him almost totally, "why are you here?"

 

"Ah-ha," smelling the alcohol over his breath, he said coming closer & eyes brooding upon me, "so we officially meet, I am Shawn & you are …”

 

“Jennifer…”

 

Giving me a look that seemed both flirting & a little impulsive, “Jennifer, wows, beautiful name… and a new girl here I suppose,"

 

"Not so new now, nearly two months…"

 

"Ah-ha, lovely girl like you must have had men lined up to take you out," he said while continuing his teasing, "so shall we?"

 

“What?” I wasn't sure whether I was more sad or angry, he was once my lunch mate.

 

“Come on, don’t be such a spoil-sport,” he chided, “not to worry, whatever you charge I pay double okay.”

 

"Sorry, not doing," I shook my head & replied indignantly, “regardless of how much you’re going to pay.”

 

"Well, well, well, what are you doing here, Shawn," suddenly, I went toppling forward by someone pushing me from behind.

 

I regained my balance & found black coffee on my white skirt. In the meantime the guy who bestowed me was shouting at Shawn, "You idiot, busy flirting with this bitch…"

 

I looked up & it took me a few seconds before realizing it was that Ah Beng whom I’d met in the café that night, still holding a cup on his right hand, absolutely ‘Beng’ - white sneakers, colourful tight shirt & white jeans, "Hey, your drink spilled on my skirt…" I yelled at him angrily.

 

"Ah… my coffee… just too bad," he walked towards me & his gaze lingering at my skirt.

 

“Who the hell you think you are?" I glared, seething in anger, not even an apology, “Shawn, is that the kind of arrogant fucker you are associating?” At close range, I noticed his prominently tweezed & shaped eyebrows; I couldn't help & stared at his eyebrows. Gosh, it was badly done… by himself or someone amateurish. Small physique, short & well-kept beard, his weird eyebrows just didn’t add up… he looked a bit ridiculous.

 

"Hey bitch, perhaps you don't know me, I am..." he began to say, but I cut him off.

 

"I don’t really heck care who the fuck you are," looking around, Amy & the rests were now gathered beside me, “let me tell you, you better fuck off from here, and otherwise I can’t guarantee your safety…”

 

"You ready, Jennifer?" Amy said suddenly behind me, “Wanna give them a lesson?”

 

"Oh ya, I damn scare…" he replied in a voice that sounded tight & strained.

 

"Get lost," motioning towards him, said Amy while showing her middle finger.

 

"What the..." I heard him mutter a low curse; it was enough of a confirmation that the authoritative words used by Amy had clearly affected him.

 

“… You… shit…” sputtering vaguely, he made his way across the street just as Shawn yelling at him to hurry off.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

Finally, manage to sign in... sorry for the delay.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 9: He or Me, Who took the chance?

Damn, plenty of action is already going on in the area… cursing myself silently, I noticed girls were already out plying their trade on the streets. Tonight Friday was no exception, we arrived late at Changi Village red light district around 1030 pm. We understood that early bird catches the worm & more so this evening the befitted TGIF where many hookers would be out here to quench their sexual urges, once weekly… unfortunately we just couldn’t make it earlier. Ester was a fast worker, but was delayed by Amy & myself; we took more than one hour, paying attention to detail in doing our make-up. I believed the delay was a necessary evil, as to accomplish a few things, first to pass as a girl, next to look convincing for the punters & lastly to feel convincing for myself.

Not to worry, we were going to stand out amongst the other street workers, I told myself. As I paid attention to the passing vehicles, a guy called out behind me, “Looking for business honey?”
 

“Thirty dollars for hand job & fifty for sex…” smiling, I replied earnestly. He accepted my offer & off we went to his car. Well, less than 5 minutes I clinched my first job. 
 

Half an hour later, I returned to our territory & met Nancy who was also just returned from her job, white super short miniskirt & white stiletto high heels, what a vixen… We chatted while paying more attention to the passing traffic, on those waving at us just liked an old friend they recognized. Standing with one hand on my hip, I winked at them as they drove past, practicing the non-verbal technique taught by Amy hoping to secure the second assignment quickly. 

"Jennifer," Nancy whispered, “looks there, the same guy again…”
 

“Shit…” I looked out & exclaimed. It was him, Shawn & it wasn’t hard to spot him, alone & diagonally across the street under a tree, “When is he going to give me a break?”
 

I stifled a woeful sigh, damn bloody idiot… third Friday, after that awful evening confronted by his angry Ah Beng friend, it had been 2 weeks of 4 days (note: I came here weekly on Friday & Saturday), and each day I told myself to walk over & tell him goes elsewhere, to ogle someone else, wondering how many more days he would hide up there & watch me from afar. But every time I tried, I clammed up worrying about saying something stupid enough to destroy our friendship; after all he had been my lunch mate for two years.
 

“Who is he actually?” asked Nancy.
 

I gave Nancy my best smile, hoping my sour mood hadn't turned it into a grimace, “Well… just an old friend,"

"I see," she replied, her eyes were dark & intelligent, penetrating mine, almost searching, “I thought he is your new date.”

I didn’t answer her, I pressed the buttons on the Sony Walkman distractedly, frowning over the bustling car park, with sex hungry men buzzing around their targets & trying to strike a deal, damn… where was KC or Raymond?

“Hey, I’m hungry,” she then suggested 7-11 the 24 hour convenient store just down the road not too far away. Feeling puckish I agreed & we left the car park, I forced myself to look straight, it was challenging not to glimpse at Shawn as we walked, sighing, hopeless idiot…
 

Changi Village, it is a real mix of public housing, cafés, shops, pubs & bus terminal, it did look kind of run-down in some places & very seedy in certain areas. With plenty of car parks, back lanes & beach parks, it was easy to see why this area was so good for working girls to ply their trade. Walking on the dark aisle along the closed shops before reaching 7-11, I couldn’t help but noticed a girl squatting near a pillar next to a potted plant giving a guy a blowjob, not so leafy though quite secluded at around midnight. Walking straight as I spotted a few used condoms, this was definitely not an ideal spot for punting.
 

After having our cup noddle inside 7-11, we stepped out & checked our dresses, I saw myself, the reflection of this sluttish lady boy in its glass panels, shimmering black micro mini & 6 inches high heels, from virgin Mary 2 months ago, it was long enough to reach this stage, a sluttish whore… just as Amy had said, if you’ve got it, flaunt it… exactly, from a third perspective I agreed as my lips curved up into small grin.
 

Taking a casual stroll back to the car park, it would take about 5 minutes; hopefully the break was long enough to send Shawn away. Music was the best way to distract myself, so I switched on the Walkman & put on the ear piece, from fast-paced segued into an easy, light-hearted piece.
 

“Can I talk to you?” a voice came from behind me, startling me into hitting a stop button, I knew that voice…
 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

 

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 9: He or Me, Who took the chance?

 

“Go talk to him, I go first, see you later,” said Nancy as she looked me straight in the eye & with a sexy wink.

 

After her departure, I did my best to compose myself, knowing it would be pointless to avoid Shawn, if he kept tailing me, must well settled it once & for all… Stepping forward to him who had moved aside waiting quietly; I managed a nod, biting my tongue before stammering out something stupid, “Yeah… what up?” then cringed, “I mean… what to talk…”

 

“I’m sorry, that evening was a mistake.”

 

“Mistake?” frowning, I parroted, “When you say mistake, do you mean to pay me double?”

 

“Look, I’m sorry, for my offensive & stupid comments, I was drunk & my behavior was totally unacceptable,” he said.  

 

“Ha… it’s pretty well imprinted on my brain,” I said with tingle of bitterness, “prostituting here in Changi Village… I deserve this, alright!”

 

“Hey, listen, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, flashing a crooked smile, “really, you know me & we’re old friends… anyway I am sorry & very embarrassed.”

 

“Oh,” old friend, ha… not really sure how to reply to that, I shrugged & looking sideways. 

 

“What are you looking?”

 

“Your friend…”

 

“James…”

 

“Ya, your James poured coffee on my skirt. Look, I don’t wish to see this happen again,” I said, surprised that I managed that sentence without much agitation, “he is not here?”

 

“Shit…” sounding terrible, he winced while replying.

 

“Shit, you dumped him; you two usually up here, right?” I asked, taking his single-word reply as permission to probe further.

 

“I didn’t dump him; just that having different expectation in relationship,” he snorted inelegantly.

 

“Relationship… gosh, pardon me… you meant relationship between two guys, are you gay?”

 

“I don’t know… it’s still a little weird, you know…” he continued, “look, I said I’m sorry. Can’t you please let it go?”

 

“How am I supposed to let it go? For no reason I was dragged into the spat between you two, Mr. Shawn.”

 

“I hated James did this on you, can I buy you a drink to atone for it?”

 

“Sorry, I got to run, my gangs are waiting.”

 

“Oh, okay, maybe another time… maybe we can catch a movie; I’m pretty much free always.”

 

“Yeah, maybe…” I doubted that, but forced a smile anyway.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 9: He or Me, Who took the chance?

 

That was on the beginning of my third year, right after Ling & the 3 musketeers (Dave, Desmond & Shawn) graduation; I was alone particularly during lunch breaks. I missed their company & sincere friendship, especially the great sense of humor coming from Shawn. Looking back, my initial varsity life would have been different without these seniors, hanging out during breaks ignoring my course mates, and Shawn was the kind of friend I could always depend on in my worst moments, when I needed it the most.

 

Referring to each other as bro & younger sis, he knew my dating with Kong & we had a strictly platonic relationship, though he gave me rose on Valentine Days but he gave Ling too. He also went above & beyond comforting me when I had a quarrel with Kong or doing things like making me laugh when I had a terrible day with fellow trans-prejudice classmates.

 

Very soon Shawn was asked to return to Indonesia for his family business. On the day when four of us sent him off at Changi Airport, for a while we chatted & joked about the good old times. And as everyone presented him a farewell gift, I too handed him a card which carried the following message,

 

"Hi big brother thanks for accepting what I’m & I love you, different kind of love, not man & woman, but friend forever. I love you, your younger sister."

 

And when he was about to cross the immigration check point, shaking his hand & telling him to keep in touch, I got sentimental suddenly… would our friendship remain intact? I couldn’t help & cried like a little girl. Damn, it was embarrassing, another hormonal chaos… fortunately Kong didn’t come along, and otherwise I would have hard time trying to explain there were nothing in-between me & Shawn.

 

Unfortunately there was none of the keep in touch after his departure; I unintentionally let our friendship fade away. There was 2 years of memorable courtship, but my entire life changed the moment I received a call from Commander Fong telling me Kong’s fatal accident.

 

I failed to grasp the harsh reality that no matter how sweet or how strong Kong was to be, God could take him away instantly. Then I committed suicide, if not because of timely rescue by Ling, I would have joined him eternally. After that my live went zombie, reminisced past memories through my head over & over again, I loved him deep & missed him dearly.

 

Ling tried to fill the void, but thing just didn’t work out, both bottoms & destined to fail. Three years had passed & Shawn found me here at Changi Village. Trading my body I felt awkward now, I just didn't know how to face him & I Don´t believe it… 只为了一个没有理由的决定… 等着星空就像黑夜一样的来临… I Hate Myself… 是我自己错误的决定…

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

.

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 9: He or Me, Who took the chance?

 

After that evening, Shawn came to Changi Village twice asking me to go for lunch on any day of the week at my convenience. Citing excuses of tight tuition schedule & hot sun during noon time, I rejected his invitations. Both occasions, I boarded a client car hurriedly; and as the car moved, I was still staring while Shawn made his way reluctantly to the car park, unable to take my eyes off his retreating form. I shook my head & proceeded with the jobs.

 

Anyhow I was not in a mood for the rest of the evenings as he consumed my entire mind set. As much as I truly valued him, memorising about what a great friend he was to me… I really wasn’t, my face-saving consciousness prevented me to open up. I didn't know if that's the stumbling-block, ‘cause I took to keep my dark secret of working in Changi Village away from family & friends so seriously, so since he already found me out, I could tell myself my friendship with Shawn was hanging in the balance, or perhaps to let it fading away.

 

“Hello, tells him you don’t like him la…” said Nancy, and “She must have accidentally misled him in some way,” said Amy, such were the few remarks made by my fellow sisters.

 

I protested, but to no avail as some of them continued their teasing, all I could say was “Hey, I’d done nothing, maybe I unwittingly captivate him, but that’s not my problem, okay!”

 

It was until his third try my face-saving consciousness cracked a little. After I told him another excuse, he stepped back & smiled a little, “Okay, you need to look after a sick friend & have no time to meet, yeah for the whole week, that’s fine. So what happens when I come here next week & you want to work on something else? What are you trying to evade?”

 

I was taken aback, dumbfounded, I wasn’t sure he understood my constraint, or rather; that I didn’t want to face the anxiety of cleaning it up because it was not going to be easy.

 

“It’s all about your inferiority complex…” he said, “you work here, so? Listen, gay, I’m gay, but I don’t feel inferior. So what, does that mean we no longer can have occasional catch-ups?”

 

Blinked & startled, gay, gosh… why was he telling me his secret? He was right, apparently the only way to get over this anxiety was to face it, face the anxiety. I got sentimental, time change, but I still stay the same at my core, I appreciate the presence of those I love in my life & care about them, just liked what Ling had done in the midst of Kong’s tragedy, I wanted to know how he was doing & shouldn’t shove him to the side.

 

Focused on what I could control now & dealt with future problems when they came… okay, here I go, we fixed a lunch appointment in town the following week, and I had to face the anxiety… Quizas Quizas Quizas.

 

Everytime I ask, What, when, how and where, You always reply, Maybe, maybe, maybe

 

And days pass like this, Me, growing desperate, And you, aswering, Maybe, maybe, maybe

 

You lose time, Thinking, thinking, For God's sake, How much longer? How much longer?

 

 

How about you when you face the anxiety? Do you practice avoidance?

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 9: He or Me, Who took the chance?

 

“Hey, here…” Shawn stood & waved his hand as I stepped into the coffee house, located at Supreme House (is now Park Mall at Penang Road); it was a popular place to hang out for the JC students in the 70s. Walking from National Library (Fort Canning, now defunct) after dropping off books borrowed, I was a little bit nervous, not knowing what going to chat & the awkwardness when he asked how & why I ended up working in Changi.

 

“Sorry, I’m late,” I apologized while seated, although he was still the same person, I felt more at ease facing him this time, I guessed it got to do with my clothing, tight blue jeans & girl-T with very light make-up, just liked those uni-days. The waiter then came & I placed my drink, a strawberry milk shake, a popular drink there.

 

"Well, I must say, you do look quite stunning," said Shawn as he glanced at me & smiled.

 

"Thanks, uh…" I mumbled, my cheeks heating, “You too, well shaven.”

 

As I attempted to have my first sip, I could feel his gaze burning into me; turning my head sideway I asked, “So how’re you doing? When you came back to Singapore?”

 

“It’s been a while, yeah, 18 months,” he replied.

 

He then spoke briefly about rivalry with his elder paternal half-brother (same father but different mothers) in running the family business back in Sumatra, and subsequent action tasked by his dad to start a trading branch here importing coffee beans from Indonesia. As he talked, I subconsciously searched for new topic just to diverge not to talk about my live.

 

“Excuse me, you’d married or engaged?” I asked seeing a gold ring on his ring finger.

 

“What?” he asked with a puzzled expression on his face.  

 

Pointing his ring I asked, “What’s this?”

 

“Oh, I see… No, I’m still single. Relax… it’s just a ring.”

 

“How on earth can you say just a gold ring & relax in the same sentence?”

 

“Larry, the world is filled with rings, gold, diamond, silver or whatsoever…”

 

“Not my world…” right in my wardrobe I have only one ring from Kong & a bracelet from his grandma, “hey, tell me, is this from that guy James?”

 

“Um…”

 

“So, how’d you two guys meet?”

 

He didn’t want to talk about it initially, but revealed after my much pursuing… James his banker, a covert gay & had a crush on him but he blocked him for a while & kept himself away from him as possible. Months later, at one all-gay house party, James told Shawn he loved him & asked him to be his partner.

 

“Oh, whoa… then what happened?”

 

“It was awkward, I felt so weird with his hugging… but felt a rush when he kissed me, seeing everybody there doing the same thing openly… it was just circumstances…” 

 

Circumstances… what’s a lame excuse, but what’s about me, falling in love with a rapist? The consequent events perhaps aroused my hidden instinct, “no, it got to do with your gayness that you aren’t aware.”

 

“Hey, I don’t agree, I was just a lonely guy & he ruined me.”

 

“And that Ah Beng dumped you?”

 

“Not my fault, he kept bragging about how he helped me on my business in front of others & I found myself staying away from him when he talked. So we quarreled frequently. It doesn’t matter he dumped me or I dumped him…” he then continued, “hey enough talking about me, what about you, Larry?”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 9: He or Me, Who took the chance?

 

“Me…” suddenly shy & unable to meet his eyes, I replied, “You saw what you saw, just nothing worth telling for the last three years, no real substance…”

 

“Fine, if you choose not to say…” said Shawn. Lunch mate for two years, I figured he knew me well that no one can force me to talk if I choose not to. But his next sentence hit my nerve, “So sorry to hear about Kong’s fatal accident.”

 

“I miss my Kong,” bowing my head I replied.

 

“Larry,” he leaned forward & touched my hand, “are you okay?”  

 

“Fine… I’m fine,” I stuttered, “Um… please can we change subject?”

 

“Look, I know what’d happened, Ling told me the whole story, please accept my condolence.”

 

“Thanks, two years… & I still feel the same way… miss him dearly & hurt whenever I think of him…” I replied but pissed at myself as tears shedding down my cheeks, “it’s over. I lost the love of my life… now he’s far, far away.”

 

“Two years is long enough for you to move on, go out & meets new friends,” he asked earnestly.

 

“Stop please…” I pleaded, “I can't bring myself to face the fact… no matter how I tried just can't get over my Kong, he still has that narcotic effect on me…”  

 

“I realize how much we’ve changed, there were lot of things happened to our lives but it doesn’t mean we’re not friends,” he rubbed my hand & continued to pursue straightforwardly, “don’t bottle thing up, is not healthy. Talk to me, trust me, it helps.”

 

Gosh, he still treated me as friend… frankly after his departure to Indonesia; in my own little world with Kong I deleted him (& the rest) almost immediately. Two long years apart & we’re so distance… though lunch mate for two years & from same university. Looking at his urging face, I felt guilty & I found myself revealing all the grief that I had hidden from him, about mapping out future life with Kong & my sex change, about saving to buy our own home, about having a church wedding, about adopting one or even two children, about his fatal accident & my failed suicide, about Ling help in pulling me through that turbulence period but stopped short talking about our failed lesbian relationship.

 

“Hey, I’d been searching you for a while, but why at Changi?”

 

“I feel low about myself…” I blurted out, “confuses sexuality, woman trap in a man body; only at Changi I get some relief.”

 

“Have you felt that you let yourself or your family down?”
 

“Not like you, rich man son with bright future, ya… I am a failure,” I replied in a voice that sounded tight & strained. I told him I was so disinterested to look for a job since graduation, everyone had moved on but I was not, stuck in my past, I had no self-worth & self-esteem, “I have lost my zest for life.”

 

He asked to meet me up again before ending the afternoon session. I didn’t answer him directly, instead I asked, “What for? And please don’t come to Changi Village to look for me.”

 

He protested, claiming that he understood what I’d go through & wanted to help me. Stunned & speechless I look down at the crisp white business card he placed in my hand, “I do not know how to make you feel better. Stay strong & call me anytime you want.”

 

“Okay,” I replied, feeling somewhat dazed, I gave him my pager number.

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 9 --------------------- 

[Crumplerboi]

Holla Larry,

 

Good to see you are back with your stories

Keep it coming aite

 

Cheers,

Aaron

[Larry]

On 4/22/2013 at 10:29 PM, Crumplerboi said:

Good to see you are back with your stories

Keep it coming aite

 

Thanks for your patience. Really, Chapter C is the most uneasy chapter to write… Shawn was a nice guy, helpful & friendly, but his flaw was his flamboyant life style. Sharing with you the song below which best describes my feeling.

 

Regards,

 

棋子 Chess Pieces by Faye Wong

 

 

想走出你控制的領域卻走進你安排的戰局, 我沒有堅強的防備也沒有後路可以退, 想逃離你佈下的陷阱卻陷入了另一個困境, 我沒有決定輸贏的勇氣也沒有逃脫的幸運, 我像是一顆棋進退任由你決定, 我不是你眼中唯一將領　卻是不起眼的小兵

我像是一顆棋子來去全不由自己, 起手無回你從不曾猶豫我卻　受控在你手裡

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

English translation:

 

想走出你控制的領域卻走進你安排的戰局 Wanted to walk away from your control but fell onto your arranged warfare
我沒有堅強的防備也沒有後路可以退 I didn’t have strong defense & didn’t have escape route to retreat
想逃離你佈下的陷阱卻陷入了另一個困境 Wanted to run away from the trap you had laid but sunk into any predicament
我沒有決定輸贏的勇氣也沒有逃脫的幸運 Neither the courage to decide for win or lose nor the luck to escape
我像是一顆棋進退任由你決定 You manipulated me just liked a chess piece
我不是你眼中唯一將領　卻是不起眼的小兵 I wasn’t your only general but a negligible soldier
我像是一顆棋子來去全不由自己 Beyond my control I was a chess piece
起手無回你從不曾猶豫 我卻受控在你手裡 You showed hand with no hesitation as I was pinned under your hand

Edited January 10, 2018 by Larry

[Guest hakim]

Hi Larry, I love ur stories... Wen will the next capter be out... I can't wait to read it...

[smokey]

C*B . I don't give a flying damn your that your English CMI . cos your story just swept me off my feet and piewwww ... blew me away ...

Im going to give to a effeminate guy (gay) a chocolate later just because your story shown me I should be thankful for who I am .

Gaolat uh , dont know why but some of your in BW english laoya but still can carry that kind of feelings behind your stories be it fictional or non-fictional ..

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 10: Bye, Changi Village

 

Accompanying mom, we had a three day holidays at first uncle home residing Perlangi just across the causeway (grandpa got 2 wives, 13 boys & 2 girls whereas mom is the eldest). As it was the Malaysia election campaign period, this evening I followed uncle to witness the election rally at Gelang Patah before returning to Singapore.

 

After dropping off mom at my younger sister home, I drove home directly.

 

"This is just so... crazy. What was I doing, none of my business as a Singaporean… and my half cook Bahasa Melayu, ha-ha… anyway I did enjoy the euphoria atmosphere & street hawking.” I muttered while stumbling up the stairs with the world as a blur.

 

Entered my room, I sat down at my piano, began some approximation of Faye Wong’s The Book of Exhilaration (王菲- 笑忘书). I struck a sore note, gosh… I really should have the keys tuned, it was long overdue. I played on, closing my eyes & smoothing myself into the notes as my manicured fingers flying across the silky alternating black & white keys.

 

沒　沒有蠟燭　就不用勉強慶祝
沒　沒想到答案　就不要尋找題目
沒　沒有退路　那我也不要散步
沒　沒人去仰慕　那我就繼續忙碌

來　來　思前想後
差一點忘記了怎麼投訴
來　來　從此以後
不要犯同一個錯誤
 

 

I forgot, yeah… I laughed… better started writing something, Crumplerboi was going after my story. But today… today just too tired, I told myself… it needed at least another two weeks, at least!

 

The door creaked. I knew it was Ling. She came through the door & sat next to the bench. I played a few more bars & then looked at her with a smile, “Hi, big sister…”

 

"So, how was your Malaysia trip?" playing with her long hair, she asked.  

 

"You know, I just attended one of opposition rally.”

 

“Ah-ha how was it?”

 

“Well, just like our Punggol by-election, crowded & rowdy. How, your days were ok?"

 

"John (her live-in boyfriend) was outstation, so it was boring," her eyes rolled.

 

“Too bad, I did ask you to come along but you’re so worry, what can I say?”

 

“Alright, is over… anyway I’m going to cook dinner, are you eating?” she asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

As she went down stair to the kitchen to prepare dinner, I stood up & shuffled toward the bathroom, quietly fumbled with the mirrored cabinet & picked up a bottle of Panadol Extra… that damn bloody raging headache, a result from the vuvuzelas during the rally; it was amazing how much magical cure crammed onto the little bottle.

 

Downing two pills with the tap water, I went back to the piano & started playing The Book of Exhilaration again… this keys really needed to be tuned, I thought, half-seriously.

 

將　這樣的感觸
寫一封情書　送給我自己
感動的要哭　很久沒哭
不失為天大的幸福
將　這一份禮物
這一封情書　給自己祝福
可以不在乎　才能對別人在乎

有　一點幫助　就可以對誰傾訴
有　一個人保護　就不用自我保護
有　一點滿足　就準備如何結束
有　一點點領悟　就可以往後回顧

來　來　思前想後
差一點忘記了怎麼投訴
來　來　從此以後
不要犯同一個錯誤

將　這樣的感觸
寫一封情書　送給我自己
感動的要哭　很久沒哭
不失為天大的幸福
將　這一份禮物
這一封情書　給自己祝福
可以不在乎　才能對別人在乎

啦...
從開始哭著嫉妒　變成了笑著羨慕
時間是怎麼樣爬過了我皮膚
只有我自己最清楚

將　這樣的感觸
寫一封情書　送給我自己
感動的要哭　很久沒哭
不失為天大的幸福
將　這一份禮物
這一封情書　給自己祝福
可以不在乎　才能對別人在乎

讓我親手將　這樣的感觸
寫一封情書　送給我自己
感動的要哭　很久沒哭
不失為天大的幸福
就好好將　這一份禮物
這一封情書　給自己祝福
可以不在乎　才能對別人在乎

 

Yelling my name, I heard chopping coming from the kitchen, “Come down stair twenty minutes later.”

 

“Yes, sis…” I replied… and may be start writing something after dinner & shower, I thought.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 10: Bye, Changi Village

 

Leaving the coffee house & walking towards the bus stop, I pondered over the conversation, asking myself what help he would render, yeah… what & how? This might sound a tad bitchy; but I really doubting his seriousness about it. Though Shawn & I used to be like best & known each other for two over years, anyway as a budding entrepreneur, it was unlikely he got time for me.

 

I didn't care how Shawn thought of me, for doing something off the main stream. Why should I bother? But subconsciously I wondered what Shawn saw in me, would he look down on me as I sold my body in Changi. I thought he would scold me being a stupid idiot & deliver a harsh comment, but it didn’t happen.

 

By giving tuitions & walking the streets, I worked doubly hard to be self-sufficient; and my income might quite comparable to some of the fresh graduates. I didn’t owe anyone a living & I didn’t have to care he liked it or not. As long as my fellow sisters were fine with how I was, then it was okay.

Such were the bottled feelings while I boarded the bus heading Amy’s house… dropping his name card casually onto my handbag I thought I needed to get this off my head, damn sian…

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

One month had passed & there was no communication in-between us, of course I wouldn’t call him, I didn’t wanna walk up to him & say “Hi, hasn’t seen you for the past week… let’s go out.” coz it sounded a bit odd. Likewise he didn’t contact me, so I assumed the whole episode was just a one off of talking cock & sing songs.

 

Life was monotonous on these non-Changi weekdays (Sunday to Thursday) - tuitions, window shop, buy dinner & return to Amy’s house. This evening was no exception; house was empty as Amy & Ester were out en route to Changi Village. After dinner & bathing, I went to bed as the TV programs were uninteresting.

 

It was hot, humid & sleep came fitfully. I dreamed of tuitions, of pig-headed students, and of demanding parents, "I'm going to tell these lazy idiots, they either buck-up do the maths given or go hire another tutor, I can find another class." I wished fervently for something pleasant… backtracking to the time when Kong & I at the serene hilltop behind 6SIR… yeah, that was good, I felt my mind began to relax conjuring up the memories of two of us sitting there watching sunset over the sparkling ocean… drifted off to images of me donning the wedding gown with Kong walking past the arch of sword.

 

I awoke to the beeping tune coming from my pager, it broke my dream & returned me to reality; damn… it was from Shawn. I got out of bed, moved to the living room & phoned him, "Yeah, what’s up?" I asked.

 

Shawn replied that he’d just returned from a business trip & apologized for that. ‘Sorry for what, I’m not his girlfriend anyway,’ I thought but didn’t voice it out as he continued, “What’re you doing now?”

 

“Sleeping…’

 

“So early,” and he went on asking me to have a chill out.

 

“What… to meet?”

 

“Don’t say no, ok, unless you want me to come to Changi & look for you,” said Shawn.

 

I froze, wasn’t sure what to say… as not wanting him to create a scene at Changi in the presence of my fellow sisters, he apparently knew my constraint.

 

 

Song不知所措 (Caught Unprepared) by 优客李林

 

 

... 没有说出感受 Those unspoken feeling, 只有不经意的沉默 only was the unintended silent. 却不能肯定你真的会懂 but couldn’t ascertain you really understood... 我不知所措 I was caught unprepared, 让你轻易地把我的心带走 allowing you to take away my heart so easily...

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

Hi, before presenting you the next instalment, I’m here to promote a song that the sad lyrics touched my heart quite a fair bit. It is the song titled 烟花易冷 originated by Jay Chou (周杰伦) & re-presented by 林志炫. I simply love the latter his crystal clear vocal & excellent stage performance.

 

繁华声 遁入空门 折煞了世人, 梦偏冷 辗转一生 情债又几本, 如你默认 生死枯等, 枯等一圈 又一圈的年轮

浮图塔 断了几层 断了谁的魂, 痛直奔 一盏残灯 倾塌的山门, 容我再等 历史转身, 等酒香醇 等你弹一曲古筝

雨纷纷 旧故里草木深, 我听闻 你始终一个人, 斑驳的城门 盘踞着老树根, 石板上回荡的是 再等

雨纷纷 旧故里草木深, 我听闻 你仍守着孤城, 城郊牧笛声 落在那座野村, 份落地生根是 我们

听青春 迎来笑声 羡煞许多人, 那史册 温柔不肯 下笔都太狠, 烟花易冷 人事易分, 而你在问 我是否还认真

千年后 累世情深 还有谁在等, 而青史 岂能不真 魏书洛阳城, 如你在跟 前世过门, 跟着红尘 跟随我 浪迹一生

雨纷纷 旧故里草木深, 我听闻 你始终一个人, 斑驳的城门 盘踞着老树根, 石板上回荡的是 再等

雨纷纷 旧故里草木深, 我听闻 你仍守着孤城, 城郊牧笛声 落在那座野村, 缘份落地生根是 我们

雨纷纷 旧故里草木深, 我听闻 你始终一个人, 斑驳的城门 盘踞着老树根, 石板上回荡的是 再等

雨纷纷 雨纷纷 旧故里草木深, 我听闻 我听闻 你仍守着孤城, 城郊牧笛声 落在那座野村, 缘份落地生根是 我们, 缘份落地生根是 我们, 伽蓝寺听雨声盼 永恒

 

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 10: Bye, Changi Village

 

Dropping off from the taxi, I took the exterior lift which went up to Hai Tien Lo in Pan Pacific Hotel. While the glass lift ascending to 37^th floor which gave spectacular views of the streets below,  I was not in the mood to appreciate the breath taking view but rather concerned about what to talk later on.

 

I stood at the doorway of the restaurant, biting my lip I told the name of Shawn to the waitress before she led me into the restaurant.

 

Shawn stood as soon as he saw me, “Hi, glad that you come,” said he but somewhat incredulously.

 

I shrugged, "Well, I don’t have a choice, isn’t it?"

 

Lips parting, he showed his well-set sparkling teeth between them & gave me a smile. "Oh no, I’m sorry… really, just eager wanting to see you," he replied while taking his seat.

 

Settling myself down at the opposite end of the sofa from where he sat one leg across the other, I raised an eyebrow at him, pausing in my inspection under the dimmed light, he was in polo-T, hair tousled & eyes sleepy, “You look tired.” I said.

 

“Yeah, just returned from Japan this afternoon…”

 

“Then you should go home & sleep, why want to meet?”

 

“Couldn’t, I keep thinking of you,” he replied & looked at me amorously.

 

“Rubbish…” taken aback by his affection, I shrugged & looked away quickly. I wasn’t sure I caught a blush, but was certain on the discomfort came along. Though I may've known him for over two years, but he wasn’t my cup of tea & I shan’t give him any false hope, “so what do you want to talk?”

 

“Relax… boy, I love coming here, see… so cosy," he said proudly, "and their har gau & siew mai are superb. Are you hungry?"

 

I snorted as feeling annoyed. I showed up per request, took a taxi & paid the fare myself, and now he asked if I was hungry, "sorry, I’m here not for food. So if there is nothing important, then I say bye-bye.”

 

He frowned & leaned over the table, “Okay, okay… let me get you a drink, at least,” he said while raising his hand to signal a waiter who stood nearby, “is it fine with you for a fruit punch?”

 

The drink came & I took the first sip. Starring the liquor in his hand, Shawn swirled the ice within the short glass, "Do you know how hard not to watch you, you’re so pretty," he said, obviously enjoying my discomfort.

 

"I never noticed," crossing my arms I replied coldly.

 

He was about to say something but I took my handbag & said quickly, "Sorry, I need to run now."

 

He leapt from the bench, holding my hand & stared me in the face from inches away, "Stop going Changi & start looking for a proper job."

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Crumplerboi]

Holla Larry,

 

Another great installment from you. Keep the stories coming and take your time in writing it, no rush no hurry.

You and Yas1950 have always been my inspiration to keep on writing. Will be waiting patiently for your next

chapter.

 

Take care and have a nice week ahead Larry

[Guest readeron]

hooked onto this thread and not even halfway done,you got me hooked larry.

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 10: Bye, Changi Village

 

"But... but...." pulling out of his grip, I mumbled, for not having better answer on the spur of the moment.

 

He sat back & glanced at me, “But what…are you stupid?” raising his voice a few decibels, seemed heated up with rapid talking; “don’t you feel disgusting with men paying to fondle your body & to have sex with you?”  

 

“None of your business…what right have you to be so nosey?” starring at him, I replied gaily.

 

“Oh yeah, nothing wrong in allowing people screwing your ass hole, right?” he studied me for a second & then looked away, as though something bothering him, “but it pains me, you understand… seeing you doing that thing just for a few dollars.”

 

“You shut up, damn, a few dollars, what right have you to say this? You’re rich enough but I’m not,” trying hard to keep low my voice I replied, “anyway I don’t feel anything, really, with a layer of polyethylene…”

 

“Bull shit, what’s a layer of polyethylene, sex means sex, no technicality, and condom or not, it makes no difference. This isn’t about trading your body for that dirty money… sorry to say this,” he checked for my reaction while I tried to keep my cool, paused for a few seconds before he continued, “Is also about morality.”

 

“Shawn, keep the morality in your own way & let me have mine,'' I returned, “I don’t wish to argue with you, as far as I’m concern, no one had own me, except Kong, you understand?”

 

There was a brief moment of silent, it was tensed. He was staring at his glass of liquor, poignancy tingeing his face as I glanced over at him. I bit my lip, wondering if I'd said something hurtful. I had simply been stating what I thought.  

 

"Hmm… that's just not right," he mumbled, after about thirty seconds of staring at his drink, "I guess you probably stuck with them for too long..."

 

“Them…?”

 

“Oh, I’m talking about those companions you have in Changi,” he then frowned & leaned over the table, “better stay away from them; they have nothing good to teach you.”

 

Feeling vaguely uncomfortable, I sunk down in my seat & glanced at him, "Don’t discredit them, they are closer than my family, I look up to them... without them around I probably end up killing myself..."

 

"I'm just saying," he replied, shrugging, "I shall never like them,"

 

“Shawn,'' I pleaded, “Leave us alone, I never expect you to like them, but at the very least stop treating them like devil."

 

"Sorry if I annoyed you, I really shouldn't bad mouth your friends," and swirling his drink, he continued, "alcohol is bad for me."

 

“Never mind, I trust you don't mean that, I am sure.''

 

He put down his drink, “Ahem…” clearing his throat, he then grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my seat, “Come, let's go outside & get some fresh air."

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

 

On 6/4/2013 at 2:29 AM, readeron said:

hooked onto this thread and not even halfway done,you got me hooked larry.

 

Thanks.

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 10: Bye, Changi Village

 

Standing up, I looked for my handbag but was stopped by Shawn, “Just leave your bag, the waiter will take care of it, I’m regular here… and follow me," he said as we walked towards the glass curtain wall, the far end of the restaurant.

 

Realizing he was still holding my hand, I blushed & whispered, “Let go my hand, I can walk by myself.”  

 

"Ha, why so shy?" letting go, he glanced at me, smiled dryly & looking away.

 

Bypassing the grand piano, we stopped & stood in front of the glass wall, looking beneath a great pool of darkness on the ocean & fierce electric brilliance came from the windows of commercial buildings nearby.

 

"See... this place has the best view in Marina area," breaking the silent he said.

 

"Yes indeed," I replied & placed my index finger on my lips as the piano struck some familiar tunes; the pianist had arrived & started playing, “listen…”

 

Leaning against the ledge, I buried my head in my hands & contemplated the darkened sky with a few stars. Looking at them, I visualized their unfathomable distance & imagined their slow inevitable drifting into the unknown future…

 

“Larry, we learned that while life is not fair, death is even less fair, it takes away good people.”

 

Feeling irritated with that obvious idiotic statement, but was too lazy to say anything, I nodded dumbly.

 

"You were to marry him, but that fatal accident destroyed your dream," he said aloud, not sensing my unhappiness, “the news was devastating...”

 

I turned my eyes away at the sky & looked downwards at the busy streets, “Enough, Shawn…” twitching the corner of my skirt to straighten it, I despaired for a few moments, then gathered my energy & continued, "It's been two years... time flies...." I replied weakly.

 

“Larry, it is all distance memory, he is in your past,” he said sententiously, “look forward, I believe you can,"

 

"Is not easy…" I smiled sadly & enquired, "Why do life has those things like death & separation?" 

 

"Of course is not easy. You are going through a myriad of emotions, struggling with the death," his tone was almost, for a moment, melancholy, "but two years is long enough to put this behind you, you need to learn to live with," then, in a resolutely voice, "anyhow," he concluded, "there's one thing you can be certain of; I’m here to help you."

 

The piano was playing now an old favourite: "Moon river, wider than a mile. I'm crossing you in style someday. Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker. Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way…”

 

 

‘I am here to help you’, bottled up, I shrugged, turned around & looked at the lady pianist as she played melodiously, until at last, with lifting of her hands, in all but silence. And still, bottled as I was, I turned around & looked at the dark sky.

 

"Did you hear me?" curiosity intended on his face & his eyes watching me closely.

 

“Can we go back to our table, my toes are hurting?”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

to be continued......

Edited August 6, 2019 by Larry