Forbidden Attractions - Larry's Life Story

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 18: Our First Breakfast

 

Morning 620, skipping my breakfast I told Ling who was having her breakfast that I needed to go, 10 minutes before my appointment with Shawn, “Sorry sis, can’t walk with you to the bus stop,” I spoke with a red face.

 

“Don’t worry about me, just good luck & all the best,” she replied.

 

I exited the house & walked towards the wooden bench which was built in a way to house the footwear & offered a comfortable space to sit & put those shoes on. All was done & when I looked up, I noticed Shawn was standing next to the metal gate, “Oh wows… gosh…” I exclaimed lowly, caught off guard but got excited at the same time.

 

“Hi, morning, you’re early,” I spoke as I walked hurriedly towards the metal gate.

 

“How can I not early, our first date, isn’t it?”

 

First date… wows… can’t be serious… quickly I looked around for neighbor/s passed-by & caught our conversation, I flushed crimson with embarrassment, but before I could tell him to speak lowly, Ling’s voice came from behind, with her bag slung over her shoulder, “Yeah, that’s the spirit, keep it up my dear friend,”

“Going to work, so early…” said Shawn as they shook hands cordially. And he was apologetic learning that Ling would have to walk to the bus stop without my companion, “Please can I give you a lift to the bus stop,” he said.

 

She rejected his offer initially, citing that she didn’t want to be a lamp post, but relented when I gave her the ultimatum, “What lamp post, sis, I insist, otherwise the car will not move,”  

 

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“Where to?” asked Shawn after dropping off Ling.

 

“Capitol Theatre for the chwee kway, is it okay with you?”

 

“Oh, you are talking about that famous chwee kway stall at Capitol; surely, we must go,”

 

We didn’t talk much as he drove towards our destination. He seemed in cheery good mood, but I was not, not sure I did the right thing or not… Kong brought me there, both in army uniforms as guys for our first breakfast, and now in female & male attire respectively, I brought Shawn there too for the same purpose… what the hell was I doing, surely he was not Kong’s substitute, and I ought to be insane.  

 

As Shawn searching for a parking lot at the Capitol Theatre, I watched the scene upfront & sighed lowly, only got hidden by the song played from the car radio, all things remained unchanged, it was yesterday once more, except that this new man sitting beside me.

 

‘Hey, wake up…’ murmured lowly I shook my head as I stepping out of his car, ‘this is the first day of the week, and such fine weather…’

 

The sky was in fact of a bright cloudless blue, we walked along the pavement, side by side but short of holding hands. We entered the long zinc roofing hut & found our seats. “Look after my seat; I go get the chwee kway & drinks,”

 

“Hey, just two pieces for me & teh-O please,” it felt nice to be pampered as a lady as I spoke my requirements.

 

Half way of our breakfast, he stopped & asked suddenly, “Shall we have two more pieces?”

 

“Big eater, hard to believe…”

 

“Just too delicious, can’t stop,”

 

“If you like, but I can only squeeze in another half piece,” I smiled at his request & granted it.

 

It was a fine, mild day & gentle breeze fanned our faces. It took us approximately 20 minutes for the breakfast, quarter to seven on my watch, comfortably with 1 hour to spare for the 825 daily production briefing.

 

But when his car getting nearer to the industrial park, I was getting a little nervous & asked sheepishly, “Shawn, suppose we were to meet any of them?”

 

“Who care?” he trembled with desire.

 

“Very well, I care,” still I hesitated to show us as couple in the open.

 

Overawed by the utter silence reigning around us, at last Shawn said decisively, “Come, we’ll make a start, but only at your pace,”

 

“Thanks,” and I asked him to drop me on the main road as I could walk from the side gate entering the industrial park.

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To be continued......

Edited September 13, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 18: Our First Breakfast

 

As quickly as I entered the side gate, I looked around if any company people coming from behind, I was flushed, nervous & partly embarrassed. The same questions came back to my mind, ‘Is it wrong to go out with the superior?’ and ‘so long as both parties are single & unattached, so what?’

 

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Back to my room after production meeting, I started the day work by first reviewing inputs coming from Shawn on my monthly report.

I had been a perfectionist but Shawn made me want to always try harder. Every time when my monthly report was returned I anticipated his comments. I would do the corrections; resubmit to him before his forwarding to Indonesia head office. Not writing on my reports, he would scribble on the post-it notes & adhered to the relevant sections arrowed by a pencil, very neat working by a company CEO, unlike those lousy encounters by many of my university lecturer jumbling on my project reports that I got hard time to understand.

I searched & flipped through the thin report but couldn’t find even a single note, this had puzzled me. I knew him well; his won’t stand any nonsense from the staff even though he dot on me. Did it mean that the notes were left behind accidently? I would usually walk to his room & seek clarification right away, but strangely I didn’t. For no reason I felt that people outside were watching me if I do go to the boss room, hmm… I sighed lowly; I would wait for him to come over & find out more details.

 

Every morning before tea break, rain & shine or even on his first day returning from oversea trips, with many of his office work pilling up, he could still find time to come to my room, talked about the shop floor & cracked a few jokes, conveniently for questions & advices which I could immediately turn to. His regular presence to my room whenever he was in the office had subtly became a routine I looking forward, unknowingly.

Alright, meanwhile I proceeded with vetting the new process sheets submitted by my engineer. Time flew, as the wall clock ticking towards 10 am which was the morning break time, he still didn’t show up.

I called Fatimah to cancel my break, hoping he would come any moment soonest. Meanwhile I sat on my chair in absolute silence & listened to songs coming from outside the room where the staffs were taking their break. And there was a tinge of sadness in the singer voice when the next song was aired.

“What got into me, who said he is obligated to come?” I asked myself. I sat restlessly cracking my knuckles while waiting for him to come, racking my brain to see if I did ask him not to come this morning. Couldn’t stay focus, my eyes shifted back & forth between the process sheet & the door; I couldn’t deny there was something positive about him that I was inextricably drawn to.

“Buck up, buck up & more buck up,” I reminded myself, he was the boss & in charge of my paycheck, I could continue working here or not depend on his assessment on my performance, though I knew he would never fire me.

But his presence didn’t happen till Fatimah phoned me up for lunch.

 

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To be continued......

Edited March 17, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 18: Our First Breakfast

 

During lunch, I told Fatimah casually that things seemed ambiguous on my monthly report returned by Shawn & if she happened to see him, let him know. We parted company & I went straight to the production & spent quite long hours there. I deliberately taking much longer time than usual, I was thinking to let him tasted what I felt before if he tried to look for me, maybe he got to come to the vast production floor & look for me, what’s a childish mentality, ha-ha…

Back from production I took my cup from my desk & was walking toward the pantry when Shawn stopped me along the hall way outside his room.

“Hey, you smell good,” I thought he was going to talk about my monthly report but wasn’t, but to tell me how pleasant my perfume smelled. It was a sly move, I must say, but I liked it, a well-placed flirtatious & sexual compliment. Generations of women have been wooed by such compliments, so am I, which am not changing anytime soon.

“Hey, not so loud, people can hear you,” I smiled & whispered lowly. It’s not the first time this perfume was used, complete with my dolling up daily after lunch, so his compliment today displayed his confidence, sparking the chemistry between us.

“Can we talk in my room?”

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“Fatimah told me about your monthly report…” Shawn asked me the question as I took a seat in his room.

 

“Yeah, there is no error input from you, and I’m not sure got any error,”

 

“Then…? Why didn’t you come over & seek clarification?”

 

"No, I was thinking to wait for you to come over…” I replied sheepishly & felt kind of stupid for the reply.

 

“Why… why’s the waiting?”

 

“I don’t know… people may be watching me…” I paused for a while before continuing, I didn’t want him to perceive me as fickle-minded, I needed to word carefully that the decision to accept his courting was not impulsive, “you know workplace romances can be tricky & awkward, and I have to pause & think carefully about how to proceed,”

 

“I see…” he spoke but paused for a moment before starting again, “I’m sorry failing to notice your psychological barrier… yeah, failed to visualize your situation from a girl perspective. Okay, for the time being we’ll not bring our romantic life into the workplace,”

 

“You mean…”

 

Lamenting on my anxiety this morning about dropping me off at the side gate, he said, “Yes, we will not come to work together, same as going home, our dating start from your home & end at your end, if we want to have breakfast together, have it on Saturdays, Sundays or public holidays, in other word, when we’re in the office, keep the relationship professional,”

 

“Okay, well, um… I agree with your arrangement,” I pouted at him & laughed, “you should double up as the office romance consultant,”

 

"Yes, I am. In more ways than you can imagine, my love. We will maintain status quo till you’re ready for any new move, you decide the pace of change & call the shot. Now go bring me your monthly report,”

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Back to the bedroom that evening after dinner, Ling asked, “Hey small sister, where'd you two go this morning?”

“Oh at Capitol Theatre for the chwee kway,”

“The chwee kway there must be super delicious that Shawn brought you there on a first date. I’m curious, can you bring me there?”

“Sis, actually was my idea,”

“What, how come I didn’t know about this place? I thought we shared all information,”

“Yeah we shared all information but missed out this one, sorry sis… it was where my first breakfast with Kong, you didn’t ask & I forgot to tell,”

“Holy shit, how could you do that, you never know that Shawn will remember the place as being the first date with you,”

“I disagree, I went with him in girl mode, but I was in guy army uniform with Kong at that time,”

“Come on, don’t indulge in sophistry, in my opinion it was a bad idea, I wouldn’t choose it as a first date. You should take him someplace new & unique & make new memories, for both of you sakes…”

“Hmm… we have to keep this a secret,” I admitted the mistake & replied weakly.

“The problem is either you accidentally slip up saying something stupid like 'when me & my ex were here...' or if he asks 'how do you know about this place or who did you come here with before?' You can't lie forever,”

Looking at her blankly, I was dumb-founded, that right, she got a valid point. So how… help, help, help…

‘Why carry that baggage? Speak the truth,’ was her last advice before we went to bed, “If he is that narrow-minded, so be it,”

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To go & meet Shawn was first thing I wanted to do immediately after the daily production meeting.

After the initial few sessions, Shawn let me took over & pulled away from the meeting, only dropped in on an impromptu basis. His purpose was very clear, allowing me to build up my self-confidence & to tell people to approach me & not him previously on decision makings.

As he was not at this morning meeting, I had to find him in the main office, and fortunately he was in his room. As suggested by Ling, I told him about yesterday breakfast, “Sorry, the Capitol Theatre we went yesterday was the place Kong took me on a date, is my mistake…” I spoke weakly & lowly & won’t dare to look at him.

“Hey, stuff like this doesn’t bother me, more importance is the chwee kway, and it was delicious, right?”

“But I can’t forgive myself; I brought you to a place where I had special memory with Kong,”

“Look, Singapore is so small, there are places I’d been with my ex & places you’d been with Kong, so to avoid these places where we’d special memories with our ex will make it hard on both of us,”

“But that was our first date… and I have no intention to turn you into Kong who I’ve lost,”

“Enough, we are mature people, we have to accept that we both had previous lives & the past never remains hidden regardless of how hard we try. I'm willing to try & take part in your hobbies, so just be yourself & love me for who I am,”

For the first time he didn’t try to hide his magnanimity, I was impressed.

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 18 --------------------- 

               

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 19: Office Romance: Is It Ever A Good Idea To Date Your Boss?

 

It is not easy to answer; I can only say it can be both a blessing & a curse.

 

For my case, it was even more tricky, first was my lack of self-esteem, I hated to be under the limelight because of my sexual status, it could be damaging for any miscue, and secondly I wasn’t sure he was a long-term material, how serious was he?

 

I insisted to keep our romance under wraps, he agreed & we came out a simple agreement, like any of the James Bond 007 movie, it was a little strange, exciting & pretty funny, and I appreciated for his acceptance & understanding.

 

The agreement was done on a Saturday our first outing immediately after the chwee kway breakfast. During dinner, I initiated the discussion which I felt awkward but believed I ought to get it done. I spoke my thought, how I would handle things if the relationship turned sour, and if I would consider leaving the company, if needed.

 

We also discussed the do’s & dons to keep our romance a secret in the office, rule #1, do hang out with other colleagues at work, not giving clues about our relationship if we only hang out with one another, rule #2, never meeting in his or my room with door closed, rule #3, sit & mingle with other people at company events, rule #4, not giving each other the doting eyes & displays of affection in the workplace. And lastly, we should not to arrive or leave the office at the same time which was suggested by him way before this discussion.

 

Since then, we communicated through office phone. Unlike this day commonly use of hand phone, SMS & any other modern communication tools, it was a little restrictive, cause the calls must came from his room to mine, but anyhow, it was effective, leaving no trails behind.

 

Frequently he would make the calls, though each time his line of contents was predictable: Hi, convenience to talk? How are you?’… Busy… so many calls & paper works, but can’t concentrate. Thinking of you the whole morning, called you many times but you’re not around… bla, bla, bla, bla… And my standard conclusion to him would be ‘Aiya, weekend is around the corner, be patience,’

 

Repeat & more repeats, I played along & he never felt boring to repeat, just like baby won’t wean off his pacifier. “Mommy, nan-nan,” and I were his mommy, my child loved the pacifier.

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To be continued......

Edited April 21, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 19: Office Romance: Is It Ever A Good Idea To Date Your Boss?

Many relationships had been hurt because one tried to be discreet at the office (usually the females) & the other person (mostly guys) expected some displays of affection. Though I’m born male, but I failed to understand this show-off mentality, and I would put it simply because of the over-supply on testosterone.

As for me & Shawn, we’d no immunity too. Despite the agreement it was not completely smooth sail, there was once we threw tantrums at each other because of his violation.

The incident happened on one lazy afternoon when we were at the photocopying machine but he was there earlier. He looked up, flirtatiously winking his eye when we made eye contact. Damn it, first violation.

 

“Damn…” he frowned & squatted to retrieve the jammed paper from the machine.

 

“Just a moment, I need one more copy,” standing up he looked at me again, smiled & pouting his lips sending a kiss from close range.

I wondered if he read my facial expression, that bloody black face; for all at once, getting out of character & without speaking I turned around & walked back to my room.

Damn it, there was nothing quite as damaging as these winking & pouting, or wasn’t there? For some people, the buzz of stealing kisses or swapping furtive glances with their crush at the coffee machine added an extra frisson to the excitement of a new relationship, on the other hand, some others including me believed that don’t shit where you eat. The fear of getting spotted was real; gossip could spread fast throughout the company.

In less than 20 seconds (or lesser) before I took my chair, he came over & knocked on the door. My mind raced, ‘Oh no, I don’t want to meet him now,’ but there was no way to escape, no chance to bail… I stood frozen for a few seconds, turned around & faced him.

 

“We need to talk,” he seemed angry as he stared intensely into mine.

He made me feel violated & threatened, the urge to phase & protect myself pulsed through my mind, I took off my glasses & put it on the table, I had to stare fixedly at the red file & not move my eyes.

“I feel hurt,” he coughed as he slumped into his chair across the desk, legs spread, “how can you walk away just like that?”

“Not my fault, okay. We’d agreed not to display affections in the workplace,” I replied coolly.

My reply seemed to annoy him; redness appeared in his neck as its muscles tensed up, “You're just too sensitive, there was no one around,"

“I don’t care, rules are rules, there is no exception,” I paused & softened my tone, “we need to be careful,”

“Oh, yeah, I don’t care too,” he yelled & looked at me furiously, “is it a crime if people know I like you… no, as long as we’re both single & unattached…”

Alamak, the bloody single & unattached, he reiterated his argument, just like spinning the old broken gramophone record to make his point.  

30 seconds was all I needed, I kept mum & watched him. I knew his weakness, he got emotional easily, but would subside quickly too, probably a 30 seconds would be needed. But the 30 seconds was also a crucial moment to me, it would allow my eyes began to water.

From the moment I blinked my eyes, I knew exactly what I had to do, "You do whatever you want. You don't care about my feelings," my index finger wiping away the sudden moisture from my eyes as I said sadly. Ha… apparently I was quite talented at playing pretend.

For a long moment, he said nothing, merely holding my gaze with his until I dropped my eyes to my lap, “I never expected that you would cry, I can only say that I am sorry, profoundly sorry, that I had violate our agreement, broken your trust… is my fault,” 

It was a happy ending, he seriously acknowledged my concern, that’s I’m a girl with a dick, and I disliked publicity because of this perceived sexual shortcomings, one of the most profound interaction between us.

Well, he did get concession from this episode, “Jennifer, Monday to Friday is too long to wait, I missed being able to give you a hug, or go for a coffee if I was having a bad day,”

 

“Fine, I keep Wednesday evening free for you, okay,”

 

Of course, we had to be really careful about meeting up because everywhere near work was off-limits which would make me paranoid that we would be spotted. But that was his problem, since he initiated the extra day.

 

So, what are the risks involved in relationships between men and women at work, and how can they be minimized and managed? Not easy, isn’t it?

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 19 --------------------- 

 

Edited April 29, 2017 by Larry

[Asian69]

Wow, hot story, love it! You should post your story on a site for cross-dressing erotica, for easier reading!

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

Years back street-walking in Changi Village; I used to frequent Zouk (Wed. or Thursday if not playing mahjong) with fellow party-hard Changi sisters. Situated at Jiak Kim Road, nested inside 3 warehouses built along Singapore River, this trendiest dance club was meant to be GLBT-friendly. However, because of the upscale & mixed crowd, discrimination against us did exist; we were catcalled lady boy or ah-gua, a result of our overacting & flamboyant behaviors. Anyhow with caution & avoidance, I was able to have many juicy money exchange encounters (quick hand job in the toilet or in the car parked next to the club).

Note: Jiak Kim Street has been home to the club for 25 year but is moved to Clark Quay early this year due to resident’s unhappiness with the presence of fighting & rowdy behavior from the patrons.

So when Shawn told me we would go to Zouk this Saturday, I was taken aback, feeling nervous, concerned about meeting familiar faces. I told him my hesitation but he was determine, “Look, you work & dress in a feminine way, so far so good isn’t it?”

“But people in Zouk are more sophisticated, I just worry that people might fish me out,”

“Oh yeah, you think factory people are more simple minded. Now you go & worry what to wear tomorrow,”

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Just as what bossy Shawn had said, I should worry on what to wear for this dance club outing. Most girls’ main focus would be making themselves sexy & eye catching, emphasized less on looking elegant since it wasn’t a cocktail party, wedding or company function, but instead aiming to look glitzy & sexy.

For me, I tried to figure out how to get around the catch 22, a dilemma because of mutually conflicting conditions, if I dressed too eye catching, my true gender might be at risk of getting spotted, but then if I dressed too casual or featureless, Shawn would not be happy, it was our first clubbing.

天無絕人之路  there is always a way out, combing the whole mall Parkway Parade twice with Ling, we finally found the desired dress, no google search & no internet, just pure luck & perseverance (reference following picture, similar design but in pink colour).

How to dress up & look your best, to show off the legs, the bum or the cleavage? How can you make sure you look hot while still practical, appropriate & not slutty?

If you want to show off your legs, wear a short skirt, and if to show your cleavage, you can do this with a low cut, likewise to show off your bum & hourglass figure, wear a tight fitting dress. Such are the basic technique to adopt.

It is fine to show off anyone of them, but not overdoing as not to look slutty, likewise showing off more than one of the three elements will make you look desperate & cheap. Too short a skirt length is one good example, the panty section of your pantyhose or panties may be visible (as some China’s women do, not cool & yack).

So the pink dress I chose met all above criteria, short enough to show off my legs, my prize asset as they are fair, smooth & scar free. It concealed my cleavage too & was long enough to cover my panties. It was practical to wear as I could walk, swing & dance with no constriction.

I prayed & hoped that Shawn enjoy this opportunity to see me dressed up to the nines.

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To be continued......

Edited April 29, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

Once the dress choice had settled, the rest like jewellery, earrings, bag, shoes, manicure, pedicure, hair styling & makeup fell in place easily. Every girl always wants to look her best & give her best effort, so was I. Throughout the preparation I constantly reminded myself to look good but yet low key, not to attract unnecessary attention.

 

1. Jewellery: A single-strand white cultured pearl necklace
2. Earrings: A pair of pink ear studs
3. Bag: No handbag but a small pouch carried only my identity card & a $10 note were all I needed, I didn’t intend to  carry the pouch around but to keep in the front car compartment for emergency purposes
4. Shoes: No killer heels but just 1.5 inches which not causing blisters while dancing the night away
5. Manicure & Pedicure: Just new coat of pink vanish to match the dress
6. Hair Styling: Tri-braided fishtail ponytail styled for girls back to college, done by aunty Lily at her salon
7. Makeup: Nothing special, just darker eye-shadow & matte red lip colour. Look good in club lighting as told by big sister Ling

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Back from the salon, getting shower, putting on the sexiest lingerie, cloth change & making up, I would be ready 5 minutes before 6, the appointed time with Shawn. I knew he would come before 6, but that’s not my problem. It’s a lady’s prerogative to keep a guy waiting & never turn up early, and for me, I did it JIT (just in time), to be precise.

So here was I, the new pink short dress & ponytail, something new that I wouldn’t be bold to wear to work. I was in good spirit observing the 4 flower clips attached to the ponytail reflecting from the mirror, it looked chic & cute, I had no doubt Shawn would enjoy the opportunity to see me dressed up to the nine.

6 p.m. sharp, I exited the main door & walked towards the metal gate, as expected Shawn was there waiting in his car. He hopped out, leaving his door opened as he rushed towards the metal gate. He took my hand & walked me around to the passenger’s side & helped me in.

He ran over to the other side of the car & got in. He stole another glance at me as he put on the safety belt, “Wows, you’re fantastically beautiful & sexy,” and with that he put his hand on my lap, piercing me with those lustful glances.

“Hey you sex maniac, take away your hand, people may be watching,” I stared at him & pretended to be angry. One thing I knew for sure, for the past few dates, he was getting more & more sexually aggressive. He made no secret of his desire to get into my panties, in the car parks next to the beaches, in the cinema or in any secluded places. Each time we met he seemed to be more determine to slip his finger under the band of my panties but didn’t make it, caused the panties I wore each time was newly bought with tight band.

His prospect of taking advance agonized me, his want was understandable, he is a man, young & hot blooded, and I couldn’t fault him. As his girlfriend, I should give him some leeway, but… he wasn’t going to find a pussy inside my panties, instead a little wet dick, how would he react to that, though he knew jolly well way in advance my sexual situation, how would he react to that? I wasn’t sure I was ready to find out the answer to that yet.

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To be continued......

Edited May 4, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

It puzzled me as Shawn drove direct to Zouk & arrived at around 630, ‘why come so early & we haven’t got our dinner yet?’ I watched him but didn’t ask. Stepping out of the car after handing his car to the club chauffeur, I asked inquisitively, “Shawn, there is nothing to eat here,”

“Yes, there is a café inside but is not open at this hour,” he then walked towards me & held my hand (ha… so auto this time, since our first holding hand taken place last Sunday), “come, let me show you a nice place,”

Walking on the corridor, my mind was blurred as a sotong as we walking pass Zouk. Then I thought we were to go to a coffee shop over at the few HDB blocks across the busy road (note: the blocks were demolished for Havelock MRT station construction currently), but instead we entered Grand Copthrone Waterfront Hotel & to an upscale restaurant on the ground level.

We’re guided to a premier table at a dimly lit section of the restaurant; I couldn’t help but noticed that it looked like a perfect date-night spot. He then slid my chair out for me, and the next thing was wine started flowing the moment we sat down.

Gosh, treating me like a princess, I was taken aback & reminiscence strange things that he did since this evening, like opened his car passenger door & helped me in, complimenting how pretty I looked throughout the car ride, and now sprang for this expensive meal with good food & wine, so quasi-pseudo… unlike the hawker centres & kopitians we used to go, what’s the hell was going on, so a-b-normal…?

Common sense has shown that men do good deeds to impress women, particularly to the one who they’re sexually attracted to. I figured Shawn doing this was in an attempt to advance our relationship, that’s ok. But I was more concerned he might make me feel obligated into putting up with his sexual advance.

“Shawn, why are we having such an elaborate meal, your birthday…?” I asked softly & carefully, not wanting to spoil the evening.

“No, is not my birthday,” he paused for continuation, “you deserve to have this meal, how can we always go to hawker centres?”

“Why waste money… I’m fine with hawker’s foods. Ahem…” I felt my throat close up a little as I continued, “sorry, I’m not scolding you, okay…”

“Shih…” with index finger on his lips, he grinned, “I want you to know that you’re my number-one-girl, I love you, I will pamper you, care for you & give you everything I can, including this meal,” oh, gosh, his voice was low & intimate.

My blush spread instantly from the bottom of my neck & up to my cheeks, I dropped my gaze quickly. And for some reason, my brain just wouldn’t let me end it as I asked, “Really, naughty boy, from the bottom of your heart, no other ulterior motive?”

I’d never felt this nervous around him before. The way he’s looking at me was making me feel dizzy, “I will vow on this, I did not have any ulterior motive,” he said.

“No, really…? In many of our dating you had been trying hard to… to get into my panties, right?” I felt my cheeks flush as I turned to look down at the fish & chip presented to me.

“Yeah… that correct…” his clipped words do little to hide his nervousness, “but you know I’m man… not saint…”

How could I not understand? Men are men; they will consider bingo till they scored our cherry. But on the other end, girls must maintain our demeanour of modesty throughout the passions of courtship, and never succumb to their demands. But as for me, I didn’t have that privilege, for not being a genuine female & also non-virgin since I lost it to Kong some time ago.

“I can understand,” expressing my sympathy I spoke & lower my gaze, “but what you can get from me is not cherry but rather a small birdie, are you okay with this?”

“Of course I know, I’m not a fool, cherry or birdie, I just want to satisfy my curiosity,”

“Not feeling disgusting to touch & feel my birdie,” I was suggesting something a little taboo as I said it quietly out of side of my mouth,

“No… no… really…” he was seemed taken aback. There was a momentarily silence between us before he changed the subject, "Uh, should we order a second bottle?"

The second bottle of wine would seem aggressive to me, but I agreed. I realized that I was getting a little tipsy but didn’t want to stop. I glanced at my watch & realized we'd been talking, eating & drinking for nearly two hours. I was pleased with the secluded environment we were in as no one would get to hear whatever was being said between me & Shawn.

Very quickly, I was getting real tipsy. My cheeks & ears felt red hot which always happened to me when I took something with alcohol.

Once again, just like the talking of getting into my panties, without conscious thought, I asked, “Shawn, are you straight or gay?”

“What, are you crazy? Of course I’m straight,”

“Then why you come after me, I’m a girl with a dick,”      

“What made you think you’re inferior? You just seem different, dear,” he answered sweetly, “I met you first day when you came to the university. It is love at first sight & is not easy to explain, I only know that God wants me to be with you,” he looked at me earnestly, his voice was low & intimate.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued......            

Edited May 18, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

“Hey, time to go, bottoms up,” he said, raising his glass to mine. Seeing me with a touch of hesitation, he gave his explanation, “Oh, Zouk’s prices rise after 9 pm,”

What’s a strange world, here he bought me this meal likely would be costly, but there he tried to save money on the entrance ticket at Zouk. Anyway I didn’t ask, shrugging my shoulders, I took a breath & downed my remaining one quarter drink in a gulp.

Just like any other couples who were deeply in love, I clung on his arm as we came out of the restaurant, so naturally, no hesitation... no pretend... I was getting a little tipsy as we walked under the high ceiling, he was smiling broadly & so was I, everything was seemed so beautiful, completed with his level of professionalism, dark jeans, a white polo-T & a sport jacket.

And as we walked intimately towards the exit door, we found a piano bar along the way. As we got closer, we heard an Air Supply song; someone was playing the piano & singing beautifully. It was beautiful & serene, and there were only a few people standing outside the bar listening.

“Let's stop & listen,” Shawn suggested.

The whispers in the morning, Of lovers sleeping tight, Are rolling by like thunder now, As I look in your eyes, I hold on to your body, And feel each move you make, Your voice is warm and tender, A love that I could not forsake…

 

 

And when the chorus was played, he sang next to my ear, 'Cause you are my lady, And I am your man, Whenever you reach for me, I'll do all that I can.

He got in & kissed my neck. My guard was down & I felt the lush. And at the end of the song, he whispered close to my ear, “I’m proud to have you, you’re my girl-next-door,”

Hmm, I answered dazedly, wows, his girl-next-girl, that’s amazing… but why was it got to be next door & not any other door, what was the real meaning of the phrase? I didn’t seek clarification from him, for not wanting to expose my ignorant, and I wasn’t sure he fully understood it too, maybe he’s just to say what everybody says. Anyway it should be more praise than to disparage, but could never be too sure.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued......

Edited May 22, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

Note: There are many explanations on GIRL-NEXT-DOOR, but in general, she's a sweet & ordinary young woman, in romance regarded as preferable to a talented, sophisticated, seductive woman. Her beauty is understated, and doesn’t need all the make-up, cameras & bright lights to look pretty. She’s just pretty without all of that.

邻家女孩 : 一个甜美和普通的年轻女子，在浪漫中被认为优于一个有才华，精致，诱人的女人. 她的美丽被低估，不需要所有的化妆，相机和明亮的灯光来看起来很漂亮。她没有一切都很漂亮.

 

Well, since there is this explanation for girl-next-door, what’s about boy-next-door? Ha-ha…

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x       

To be continued......

 

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

It was busy & crowded & there’s a line forming towards the ticketing booth. 

 

“Oh shit, quick, I go & buy tickets, you wait here,” said Shawn.

 

“No, we queue together,” I replied. I hated waiting in line & preferred to sit on the parapet & wait, but I hated even more to have those lewd glances casted on me if were to sit & wait alone.

 

We must accept that women & men are different. Women place high value on being pampered & protected. However strong & independent females are, guys have the innate desire to want to protect us, such as shielding us from the rain with their coats or telling off the creepy guy stops staring at his girl, there are countless ways they can make us feel safe. So here I was, smiling & getting a little tipsy, I was comfortable with him around who would be here to protect me.

 

This was my first attempt queuing for admission, I had mixed feelings of this place. Being one of Asia’s trendiest dance clubs you certainly get charged for being a male. However for my group of lady boys, we got free admission whenever one of us made an advance call to the manageress, and there was no necessity to call the manageress for the ladies nights, simply the club needed our presences as crowd pullers.

 

The line continued to grow while everyone was excited to get inside. Some were with friends, some with a date, chatting, laughing & paying us no attention. Curiously I looked elsewhere, and found a few guys doing solo dancing, to the beat of the music leaking from the main entrance. And amongst them I found one guy was real comical, dancing like falling into a trance with his robotic steps.

 

“Gee…” surprised, impressed & at the same time felt amusing to see him dance so strangely, I tried hard not to laugh but failed, I let out a suppressed giggle, a discreet one afraid of causing a scene.

 

Apparently, I wasn't discreet enough; I must had made a noise as Shawn asked suddenly, "Dear, what are you laughing at?”

 

“See, see, there… that guy…” I chinned towards the wall where the funny guy was dancing.

 

“Oh ya, that guy is funny,” he got no problem to locate the guy & we both smiled.

 

“Dear, I feel so…o…o… good,” his smile widened as he looked deep into me, fondness blatant in his eyes, “I love that feeling I get when I see your smile,” and the next thing he did was leaning forwards & planting a kiss on my temple.

 

I was astonished; I wasn’t ready for this physical intimacy, just like what's the Chinese idiom say 得寸进尺 if I give him an inch, he will take a mile, early on at the piano bar he kissed my neck, and now he kissed my temple, what else? Holding hand was the limit I could accept so far. But just as I was about to speak my objection, the overwhelming fruity scent of the cologne on him just flew through my nostrils.

 

“Sorry,” rapidly I turned my head away from him before sneezing triple in rapid succession. This perfume just made me sneeze; maybe I should buy him a new one when we doing the shopping next time.

 

“Cold…?”’

 

“No,”

 

We’re so engrossed in our conversation on hot & cold & etc., forgetting my intended protest, ha-ha... 

 

Then, interruption occurred, by the guy queuing behind us, “Excuse me, please move forwards,” he spoke loudly with a hiss of annoyance.

 

“Oh, sorry, sorry,” Shawn did the apology as we moved forwards quickly.

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To be continued......            

 

Edited June 2, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

I found excitement as we entered the main entrance; gosh… after twenty over minutes of queuing. Looking back, there was still long line forming outside waiting to get into the pulsating strobe-lighted dance club.

A few steps up the slope, we were in a magical world of disco lights, laser beams & black lights that make everything bright & shiny. After nearly two decades, Zouk was still the throbbing heart of the action, irrespective of its mishmash layout & design.

Walking on the upper deck, it was extremely frantic at the bar, again with people queuing for their favorite alcoholic beverage, and looking down the dance floor, party animals & office workers were there for a night of merrymaking, to let loose of their weekday work pressures & just have fun.

Shawn gave a coy smile & whispered to my ear, “Let’s go down & have some exercises,”

“Sure,” I replied with a smile. Clinging to his arm we walked down the stairs, maybe it was the wine or the pulsating environment; I could feel a connection between us.

The dance floor was packed liked sardines but we squeezed in... Everyone was smiling & having a good time. Loud music from the turn tables where DJ put his spin on a medley of genres including Hip Hop & R&B, and half naked women strutting around in figure-hugging outfits, in tank tops & tight pants or skirts, with their swaggering & seasoned dance moves.

Dancing close… and closer… my skin was sticky with sweat, hair was beginning to stick to the back of my neck... hot, hot, hot... but we continued to dance & moved closer to the air cooler, to cool down the sweaty bodies, radiating my body odour with the musk from the men & the perfume smell from the ladies.

I felt his eyes on me… I knew he was watching me… our eyes met... lock… 

It felt good to be next to him. I swung around letting my backside to face him & danced provocatively, enticing him, brazen in my beauty, aware of my girl power…

It wasn’t long before I felt his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t help but felt accomplishment at having made him that way.

Back against his front, I moved my bum against his swelling little brother, “How,” turning my head around I asked, “how does this work?”

With a hippie smile, he cleared his throat & spoke hoarsely, “It’s perfect,”

He bumped, I grinded.

And he bumped, I grinded…

He exhaled heavily, and me too.

His warm breath was blowing on my neck & his tongue nipping my ear. And when his hands disappeared under my skirt stroking the top of my front panties, I shivered… I lost my rhythm; I couldn’t help & closed my eyes as falling victim to the sensation.

The nipping… the stroking… over & over & I started to feel tightening on my little birdie as he whispered to my ear, “You know I love you,”

“Yes, I hear you,” I replied & moved away quickly, “I’m thirsty,” I didn’t want him to feel the wetness on my panties, caused I’d just cum.

“Sure,” he wiped away the sweat that glistened on his brow & smiled, “damn, where had you learn this dancing, so sexy, so provocative?”

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To be continued......   

Edited June 6, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

Dear friends,

I like to introduce this song which I deemed as a real gem that first heard in Zouk at its Wine Bar, a chill-out zone away from the loud music with an outdoor seating area & a café offering hot dogs & sushi.

I hope you will like it.

 

Met my old lover in the grocery store, The snow was falling Christmas Eve, I stood behind her in the frozen foods, And I touched her on the sleeve

She didn't recognize the face at first, But then her eyes flew open wide, She went to hug me and she spilled her purse, And we laughed until we cried

We took her groceries to the check out stand, The food was totaled up and bagged, We stood there lost in our embarrassment, As the conversation lagged

We went to have ourselves a drink or two, But couldn't find an open bar, We bought a six-pack at the liquor store, And we drank it in her car

We drank a toast to innocence, We drank a toast to now, We tried to reach beyond the emptiness,But neither one knew how

She said she's married her an architect, Who kept her warm and safe and dry, She would have liked to say she loved the man, But she didn't like to lie

I said the years had been a friend to her, And that her eyes were still as blue, But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw, Doubt or gratitude

She said she saw me in the record stores, And that I must be doing well, I said the audience was heavenly, But the traveling was Hell

We drank a toast to innocence, We drank a toast to now, We tried to reach beyond the emptiness, But neither one knew how

We drank a toast to innocence, We drank a toast to time, Reliving, in our eloquence, Another "Auld Lang Syne"

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired, And running out of things to say, She gave a kiss to me as I got out, And I watched her drive away

Just for a moment I was back at school, And felt that old familiar pain, And, as I turned to make my way back home, The snow turned into rain

 

 

Edited June 8, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

We walked over to the bar at the upper deck, got drinks & found a vacant stool to sit (see picture), no cushion just pure hard structure, a unique design (Moroccan-style told by a bar tender later on) found only at Zouk, looking more like a stadium steps but laid entirely with mosaic tiles, surrounding the main dance floor & upper deck.

The music continued to play; we sat & watched men & women dancing down at the dance floor as if something had possessed their bodies. Putting both hands on top of my skirt, I sat straight & making sure both knees & legs squeezed next to each other, as to keep my skirt’s hem low & panties out of sight.

Sitting next to each other with his arm wrapping around my shoulder, his eyes fixed on my upper legs… “Wows, sit so womanly,” he whispered next to my ear.

“Why? You want me to sit like you, ka-kui-kui (脚开开, in Hokkien dialect, meaning legs widely open), so awful…”

“No no no, that’s not what I meant. Babe, I just feel that you’re way too strain,” he said, getting closer & closer to me, “come, let me help you,” his face coming closer to mine, until his lips could almost brush mine.

“You’ll like it, I promise. You don’t have to do anything, just relax, ok…” he spoke sensually while his hands trailing up & down my thighs, drawing his short nails gently down my skin.

The feel of his body heat on my skin; his scent, musky with lust; the calloused pads of his fingers, the sound of his breathing in my ear, creating an odd combination of sensation… unmasking my carnal lust…

Gosh, I lost in all these things. I’d wanted so long to get lost like this; it was yesterday once more, just same old feeling with Kong.  

Seeing my non-action, his touch was no longer tentative; he blazed a trail… the rough of his hand slipped lower, then lower, between my legs & down to my wet panties… unlike the previous incident at the dance floor, I remained static didn’t push away his hand… his finger managed to slide past the tight band of my panties, it was a miracle, he’d tried & failed many times & now he made it…

“Hey people may be watching us,” out of nervousness, I said sheepishly & twitched uncontrollably. Holding breath, my body came to a stop. I could only hope my extreme nervousness didn’t show.

‘Hey, calm down… relax, this is not your first time,' I spoke to myself. I was such a wreck, behaving like a greenhorn.

He’s indeed a professional, that right. After the time in Changi Village, I though no one could arouse me that easily.

“Wows, so sticky…” withdrawing his finger from my panties, he brought it in front of him & exclaimed lowly.

Then he did something that I couldn’t believe, he brought his finger to his mouth & tasted it, “Hmm… nice taste,”

Oh my God… my cheeks went reddish instantaneously, so disgusting seeing him doing this, licking my cum, damn… but on second thought, I ought to salute him for such unexpectedly abnormal act, probably caused by testosterone overflown, alcoholic influence or something else.

烽火戏诸侯, 为博一笑 the quote came to my mind suddenly, the emperor did the false signal in order to entice a smile from his favourite concubine, what about Shawn that had just licked my cum, what did he want in return, was he scheming for something? 

 

Brief explanation of the quote: It is about a silly act from an emperor (in China during Zhou Dynasty) sending out false signal of enemy attack (by lighting fire on a hilltop), getting his armies to show up for non-events, just to entice a smile from his favourite concubine.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

 

To be continued......   

Edited July 2, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

He looked at me, I looked at him… we didn't speak... I was straight face while smoothed down my dress, I wasn’t thrilled by the revelation of wetness in-between my legs…

 

“Nice taste, seriously… But when you get so wet down there?” looking down at my lower body he continued his stupidity with a chuckle.

 

“Y-y-you d-d-did,” I stammered, I was so embarrassed, but went ahead to blame him, “yes, when you stroked my groin in the dance floor,”

 

I was taken aback with my reply, couldn’t believe that I became so impervious to reason. I started the flirting & he was just responding, that was unfair to him… could this be the so-called hormonal effect I’d developed…?

 

“Oh really,” letting go my shoulder, he blinked & whispered, “so-r-r-ry,”

 

Ah-ha, could this be his strategic form of interaction, playing the innocent victim. Anyway to quash this predicament, acting flirtatiously, I tapped his arm with my fingertips, “naughty boy, all you fault,”

 

Taking a big gulp of his drink, he replied, “Ha-ha, me naughty, yes… let me tell you 男人不坏, 女人不爱 (Men who are decent, women do not love),”

 

And suddenly, the unthinkable just happened… he bent forwards, burying his face between my legs with his nose sniffing & nudging, his action shocked me. Sheltering me from external view, the rough of his hand sliding between my inner thighs, lower, then lower, pushing the hem of my skirt upwards.

 

His finger slide past the band of my panties, to find my wetness. I didn’t stop him; I just wanted his touch, to make me happy & alive. Sighing deeply, I thumped my head against the wall while my hands on his hair, stroking slowly… I thought of reasons to stop him, but the music, the drink & his body against me was intoxicating my senses.

 

“Like this?” he turned side way & asked.

 

My cheeks went crimson. Turning away from his gaze, I picked up my glass of drink & took a sip…

 

Just I was about to answer him, he sat up. He smiled & proceeded to smoothen my dress back down my thighs, “Shy, sweetie,”

 

With one arm skid behind my back & another one under my legs, he lifted me fully onto his lap, cradling me close to his chest. He watched me apprehensively as I sat quietly looking at his arm.

There was moment of stillness, then his arms wrapped around me possessively. I let my body mold against his… then he kissed my neck… a gasp, harsh & low, resounding below my ear, “Gosh… you are killing me,” he rasped, “Jennifer, I… I need to… to…to kiss you,”

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

To be continued......   

[Guest your fan]

so did you allow him to kiss you? hey, waiting eagerly for the answer

[Larry]

On ‎7‎/‎14‎/‎2017 at 1:58 PM, Guest your fan said:

so did you allow him to kiss you? hey, waiting eagerly for the answer

 

Hi, sorry for the late reply. Beside my linguistic deficiency, there were too much distractions, TV series Princess Weiyoung, 中国新歌声2, Pink dot, the last Saturday Grasshopper’s concert & etc.

Hereby is the new instalment which answers your question.

Best Regards to Yas1950 too.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 20: A Night Out At Zouk

 

 

What… I killed him, really…

 

I pondered over his remark, asking myself again & again how it could have happened… unconsciously I related Shawn’s remark to the lyrics by song Killing Me Softly With His Song, there Miss Flack sang that a young male singer was killing her softly with his song…

 

We were so close to each other, that the booze on his breath breezing over my cheek & nostrils, mingling with his overwhelming fruity cologne, but I managed not to sneeze this time. “How… ok to kiss, yeah?” his voice was a whisper & his eyes were pleading.

Feeling sympathetic to his needs, I reached out to take his palm & softly caressed his bare skin with my fingers. Damn, he would be the third one to kiss me after Kong & Ling…

He asked again, “So how?” visibly begging as staring at me intensely.

I glared at him, I was thinking, he wanted my lips, okay, that’s fine, no big deal, right?

I gave my nod, judicially… and to reconfirm, I cleared my throat & said lowly, “Hmm, okay,” And resting my head against his chest, I snapped shut my eyes instantaneously… raised my head a little & puckered my lips… holding my breath… I waited…

Our lips touched, he pressed his lips to mine… I felt their warmth & his fingers skimming the near flat of my groin… then the moistness of his mouth, I parted my lips, granting him what he wanted… his tongue... inside my mouth, delved & located the deepest recess of mine, staking his claim... unbrokenly we kissed, long, passionately & re-assuring, gasping at the sensation that spiralled through me… only moments had passed, but it seemed time had stopped....

He broke away, rested his head against the wall, panting as he whispered, “I love you,”

Still sitting on his laps, I aligned against his chest. My blush cheeks were warm & my body was hot with desire. Brushing his lips with my index, I looked at him through the bleary eyes of lust & said in a reedy voice just above a whisper, “I like the kiss & touch, it feels good,”

“Wows, is my pleasure,” smiling as he brought his right hand to my hair, caressing softly.

He leaned up to me, began to kiss my neck… then nibbled on my ear…

His left hand went back probing the moist of my panties & right hand down to my back near to my right breast… tracing & smoothing the fabric on top... and found the spot, my protruded nipple… brushing, stroking & toying that made me quake & quiver…

I began to sigh… his squeezing my breast here & there… his cupping… his palm strolling across my nipple… his teasing… and my tensing & tautness.

My heart began to pound & breathing increased, I was on the verge of moaning but bit back, trying hard to be nonchalant not to show any excitement, the only thing I did was to grab his arm tightly… yes, he knew what I was asking & I knew he was answering.

“Hey, moans… don’t hold back,” he must had notice my predicament as he asked, “let me know how I make you feel,”

“Oh yes, it feels so good,” I whispered into his ear.

Infusing new energy, I decided to take the lead of exploring him. Pressing into his chest & straining against his tummy, I slipped my hand in-between us & pressed against his hard birdie, through his pants, molding tight to his birdie...

Tangled arms, heat radiated from him, near me & I heard his murmurs, “Yes, yes, press harder… squeeze… squeeze… rub me,”

He kissed me with new level of intensity that distanced from our earlier kisses. I felt him breathe in deeply, as if he was trying to bring all of me into him… his lips, mine & his soft reassurance, “I love you… you, only you,”

… We continued to kiss…

Separated from our kiss, we took a sip of our drinks. Standing up he smiled & held out his hand, “Let’s go dancing,”

 ------------------------- End of Chapter 20 ---------------------

Edited July 27, 2017 by Larry

[Guest your fan]

oh wows, he kissed you, i guess it right. pardon me to ask one more question, had you give him your by-by?

[Larry]

On ‎7‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 5:00 PM, Guest your fan said:

oh wows, he kissed you, i guess it right. pardon me to ask one more question, had you give him your by-by?

 

Dear nosey fan,

 

Of course I would like to give him my cherry, but more concern about he could agree to have anal sex, and to do it raw.

 

It was the eighties, before anyone had heard of AIDS and the only thing I worried about was getting sexual illness. My situation was a bit weird, I had long hair, a young woman body but with a little birdie.

 

Just be patience, ok.

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay - Shawn

Chapter 21: Up Close & Personal

 

… 用你最深情的眼睛 痴情让我清醒 用我最需要的温柔… 在我还能负载你的爱 钟爱我一生 钟爱我一生 Oh My Love My love 在我还能负载你的时候 钟爱我一生 钟爱我一生 Oh My Love My love…

 

 

After that raunchy evening at Zuok, we got passed the initial hesitation & showed physical intimacy on our dates, there were regular affectionate touch as we shopped, watching a movie, eating in a restaurant, hawker centre or kopitian or walking on the street, admiring, appreciating, touching, kissing, caressing, holding hands & hugging.

 

Our physical intimacy had extended in the semi-privacy of his BMW. At a secluded car park facing the East Coast Beach, for the first time the engine & air-con were not off & windows staying upwards, he initiated the move.

 

“See, new disc,” waving the plate he inserted it onto the player, “all love songs, I asked my friend to burn this,”

 

Who doesn’t like love songs & I’m no exception. The compact disc filled with mixture of Chinese & English love songs, and there were 2 songs I liked in particular – I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner & All Out of Love by Air Supply. But Shawn liked one song in particular, the signature song by Alex To 杜德偉 titled 钟爱一生(Love for Life), and this song became our song, played frequently as we sang together.

 

Love songs are infectious & I knew he scheming for this. As the songs were played, we kissed… Shutting close my eyes, I was thoroughly intoxicated, the songs brought the right mood into my mind, I felt so powerful thirst, I felt his affection & I knew he loved me…

 

 

 

 

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To be continued......   

Edited December 1, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 21: Up Close & Personal

 

 

 

沒有人能夠告訴我 (No one can tell me) 沒有人能夠體諒我 (no one can understand me) 那愛情到底是什麼 (what is love) 讓我一片模糊在心頭 (it was blurry over my heart) … nipping my ear I heard him humming softly along with the singer's sorrow-filled words.

 

“I love you, Jen.,” looking deep into my eyes, he turned around & kissed me.

… 多少年以後有人說 (years later people said) 愛情這東西不會長久 (love doesn’t last long) 也許它確實很美麗 (maybe it is really beautiful) … 也許今生註定不能夠有 (maybe this life is destined not possible) …

 

The song continued to play, I tried to focus on the lyrics while his hand went under my bra, working me into a frenzy before revving up the heat.

 

Note: This song has a Cantonese version, equally good.

 

 

 

Just as I enjoyed his touches on my nipple, he stepped back suddenly. It took me a while to open my eyes & realized that he was topless & was in the process of removing his shorts that came with an elastic waistband.

 

Ah-ha… apparently he was well prepared, oversize polo T, button-less shorts & sandals.

 

“Hey, people can see from outside…” I said with astonishment.

 

“Don’t worry, not easy to see us… tinted windows…” cladding only with an underwear, he replied without second thought.

 

Gosh, when a man is on fire, nothing can stop him.

 

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To be continued......

Edited December 1, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn

Chapter 21: Up Close & Personal

 

I watched as he spread his shorts & polo T onto the back seat hurriedly. Though it was dimmed inside the car, but didn’t restrict his gym-fit body from view, broad shoulders, narrow waist & compact hips.

 

“How? Big, strong & friendly, I assure,” making no effort to hide his big tool he was pointing beneath his underwear. He appeared confident & thought I would enjoy what I saw.

 

"Hey, behave yourself," I gave him a light slap on the arm, “honestly I don’t think this place is ok,” My mind was occupied with questions on Peeping Tom & safety, feeling considerably less than the confidence he had. This car park was open, empty with no plants & with street lights around, unlike dark & secluded places I used to have at Changi Village or with Kong.

 

“Hey, relax, you know what 古龍 (Gu Long - famous Hongkong kongfu story writer) had said?” he approached & kissed my forearm.

 

“What?”

 

“Most dangerous place is also safest one (最危险的地方就是最安全的地方), people will not think that we dare to hanky-panky here,”

 

Hell, why was he so damned stubborn, so self-centre? I prodded him gently but apparently his lust had overtaken his intellect, insisting to see things his way & ignoring my concern.

 

"Nonsense… maybe you're used to doing this with your other women here, but I'm not them," I resisted & shifted my body away from him.

 

"I have no other women," moving closer he said softly, “you are the only woman I have,” he murmured, his breath teasing my lips & his hand caressing my derriere.

 

Dropping my gaze from his, I stayed silent as emotions conflicting inside me. Of a certainty, I enjoyed this intimacy… maybe I should take chances… but what if someone walking near us? Damn… I sighed lowly… que será, será, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, que será, será… I relented, didn’t want to ruin his mood.

 

“Hmm, you have nice complexion, fair & smooth,” he said.

 

I knew he set about to seduce me, but good naturedly I blushed & smiled coyly… damn, how can girl like me resist compliments, fine, let’s the seduction begin…

 

“甜言蜜语, (sweet talk), but I like it,” drawing circles on his tummy I continued, “naughty boy, what do you want?”

 

He said nothing but when ahead of bringing my car seat down & backwards. And seeing my inaction, he knelt on either side of my hips & hands on my shoulders. He gazed into my eyes, “Hey I want you, very much…” his look sent tiny ripples of pleasure throughout my body. We were kissing, lips parted slightly allowing intimate tongue exploration as our noses practically touching… gosh, sweet & sinful, he was such a good kisser…

 

Biting my lower lip, gently & softly, I was drowning in pure sensation, his body heat suffused my entire being, melting my defenses.

 

Mutual moans of pleasure joined the tempo of the songs as we slipped deeper & deeper passionately, ignoring the pricking on my face came from his beard stubble… only seconds later I moved my face away, gasping for breath. 

 

My lips were next to his neck, sensing his racing pulse & a fine sheen of perspiration... emotion struck me, it wasn’t that simple as I felt, but something much deeper… that to live my life with him… the emotion was so great that I went ahead & bit him, leaving my mark on his neck.

 

“Ow… pain…” he screamed lowly, pulling himself up & away, I found him smiling like an idiot while he continued, “but I like this, I’ve dreamed of this long long time ago,”

 

His hand slid under my dress… caressing the soft flesh of my inner thigh… his voice was thick with desire, "I remove your dress, okay…"

 

 

 

... Baby, I'd love you to want me, the way that i want you, the way that it should be. Baby, you'd love me to want you, the way that i want to, if you'd only let it be...

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

   

To be continued......

Edited December 1, 2017 by Larry

[Guest Fan]

GOOD STORY.

EAGERLY WAITING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.

[Mique75ts]

Give u a big heart and respect kak.. Xoxo 

[Guest Guest]

Wow, can't believe I read from page 1 all the way down here NONSTOP. EVERY WORD.

I have a few urges to post while I'm reading but I feel it wouldn't be respectful without reading through it first.

 

Your writing makes me realize the thoughts of a woman so deeply. 

I'm a woman with a male soul, I never dress up/make up/look pretty etc, nor I have girly thoughts like u do.

 

It also made me having revelations that there's no right /wrong, only easy/difficult choices in life.

 

↖(^ω^)↗加油 on your works!

[Larry]

On 10/5/2017 at 4:12 PM, Guest Fan said:

GOOD STORY.

EAGERLY WAITING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.

 

Sorry to reply this late. Am busy for the month end Halloween.

 

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 21: Up Close & Personal

 

… baby, I’d love you to want me, the way that I want you, the way that it should be…

 

The lyrics moved me… “mhm…” I got no word but nodded my head. I flushed with excitement thinking how it would feel to have our skin to skin contact since the last time at the chalet… I couldn’t believe the lyrics was that infectious, what’s a wicked magic.  

 

He slipped a hand behind my neck, seeking the zipper for the dress. Arching to show my feminine body, I turned around to face him, to allow ease to unzip my dress… it was my way of surrendering to everything that was about to happen…

 

He unzipped my dress, all the way down to the waist. The sound of metal zipper moving down the track seemed in odd contrast to the soft love song. I then lifted my body from the car seat, letting him to lowered my dress off my shoulders & over my upper body. In no time my lacy red bra was fully in sight. Lifting my bottom & legs, I allowed him to remove my dress completely… instantly my red tiny panties was exposed to his hungry gaze.

 

His fingers caressed my arms & moved to the erogenous zone of my thighs… and started smelling me, on my panties… my body reacted & contracted at his touch & sniffing… gosh, I was feeling very very sexy but astonished for such reaction... By all accounts I was no longer holy virgin, no one thousand but few hundred men at least in Changi Village did this on me.  

 

He turned around & kissed me while he passed his palm over my bra, correspondingly I held his erected tool. I was sexually aroused when he cupped & toyed my breasts, “Aah… nice…” I couldn’t help & moaned lowly, my birdie oozing wet while nipples got harden & protruded. Damn… since the last company outing, he had learned my sensitive spots.

 

Still kissing me so hard, his hand went behind me to unhook my bra but to no avail. “Gosh… just let me take this bra off… come on…” I heard his frustration & desperation that I called out lowly, “Hey, in front, not the back,”

 

My bra was unhooked & off finally, meantime I heard his grumbling, “So funny, why in front…” I sneered at his ignorance, but frankly the front latching would surprise most guys, who would behave desperately just liked Shawn, “how on earth does this open, where is the hook, damn…” Well, this is one kind of privilege being a woman, that the front hook can bring the breasts closer together & give amazing cleavage.

 

I heard his murmur of pleasure this time as he held my bra & I saw him sniffing. Wows, I started to realize he had this fetish of smiling people’s undergarments.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x     

 

To be continued......

Edited December 1, 2017 by Larry

[Guest concern]

I get a headache reading your story.I get a migrane to understand why you can drawn out different perspective to be understood.No!your english is fine but i am traumatized by the content and no offence.

[Larry]

On 10/17/2017 at 12:52 PM, Guest concern said:

I get a headache reading your story.I get a migrane to understand why you can drawn out different perspective to be understood.No!your english is fine but i am traumatized by the content and no offence.

 

I consulted my friend working as a medical doctor about factors have been identified as migraine triggers:

 

·        Hormone fluctuations when some women having their periods

·        Birth control pills

·        Foods such as wines, beers, smoked meats & dairy products

·        Oversleeping

·        Stress

·        Stimuli such as bright lights, loud noises or strong smells

 

None of the above matched your cause on reading, as such I suggest you to see a doctor.

 

Concerning my story, I can never stop the writing, so it is best for you not to read for the time being.

 

Take care.

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 21: Up Close & Personal

 

“Beautiful,” he said as leaning back & gazed at my breasts, which instantly wakened my instinct to cover my breasts.

 

“Please lah… you’re kidding… still very small…” swallowing back my nervousness I spoke shyly.

 

“No, just nice, little char siew bao… I like…”

 

I grasped his arm & my heart raced when he leaned down & holding a nipple in-between his lips... circling around & licked with his warm, wet tongue… suckling delicately & nibbling playfully...

 

… baby come to me, let me put my arms around you, this was meant to be & I’m oh so glad I found you, need you everyday, got to have your love around me, baby, always stay cause I can’t go back to living without you…

 

 

Yes, love songs were infectious… I knew that I won’t have any mastery over what was going to happen to me next…

 

He moved to the next breast, manipulated with equal technique. Alternating between my two breasts, a jolt of desire went through me & driving me bananas... I moaned lowly… asking for more, I arched my back, offering myself shamelessly.

 

And when his beard stubble pricking over my breasts, I got sweeping away with a mixture of strange feeling… limp… numb… scratchy etc. etc.

 

I sucked in deep breath & screamed, “Bite my left nipple & tap my right,” … “No… together… same time…”  

 

I ran my fingers beneath his underwear up & down over the length of his erected tool. Biting my lower lip, trembling & shaking, I got my orgasm… a strong one & it teared me. It was an excellent nipple stimulation, my brain seemed to process it same way as genital stimulation or anal penetration, in the most fulfilling way.

 

“What’s going on, are you okay?” Shawn stared me in the eyes, not knowing that I just got my orgasm. But before I could reply, he began a hot trail of kisses down to my abdomen & flicked his tongue into my navel. And his hand reached my panties, began smoothing my little birdie, over the fabric, up & down.

 

Damn, it was good, however there was not much stiffness on my birdie as I just had my orgasm.

 

"So wet," he whispered in my ear. He then hooked his fingers into the waistband of my red tiny panties, my last defense. With a husky voice he said, "Jennifer, I want to make love with you,"

 

His request put me in a dilemma, how to say no without agonising him, just because of one hiccup… yes, I was ready to submit my rose-bud & I knew to have sex with him was inevitable, but that bloody condom was not available.

 

I wasn’t worried about word getting out to colleagues that I had sex with my boss, as long as he kept quiet, nor catching a disease or getting pregnant (not possible), but this condom was a genuine concern preventing me to take the next step.

 

“Shawn… no… this is happening too fast… please don’t…”

 

“Why?”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x     

 

To be continued......

Edited December 1, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 21:  Up Close & Personal

 

He stopped moving & looked at me inquisitively. I felt his frustration & disappointment, but didn’t want to tell him the reason, about a past lousy incident.

 

It was about a supper after one raw sex with Kong… down at a hawker centre where I heard few girls laughing behind… one girl came & whispered about stain in the middle of my white shorts… with Kong waiting outside the ladies, I found the mess was by his juice bleeding through my shorts... sticking my neck out we had our supper, I had no idea how I survived till I got home… needless to say it was the most embarrassing day of my life (note: from that day onwards; condoms & lube were always there in his car).

 

“Sorry… we shouldn’t be doing this… I hadn’t cleaned up my bowel,” once bitten twice shy as I gave a lame excuse, lowly, softly & praying hard that he didn’t snap on impulse.

 

He was silent & face went darken. Wringing his hands & clenching his fists… and with a defeated sigh he answered, "Oh… I suppose, you’re right… I shouldn’t force you to do this…”

 

I guessed my sexual rejection must sounded annoying to Shawn, although he didn’t throw a tantrum. His body language & facial expression boded poorly, showing a state of anger, embarrassment or just plain hurting.

 

I was worried that he might broke off with me. I recalled on one recent night out he spoke about ‘chasing sex is exhausting’ & wanted to settle down with me then he could focus his energy to develop the company. And he implied that one driving force to settle down was to secure access to frequent & reliable sex with me.

 

His upfront on such idea was understandable, but out of a female modesty I kept quiet, though subconsciously I agreed that sex has a vital role on relationship.

 

Men are just as emotional as women (if not more), there was an urgency to salvage the situation, this was especially true that he spent the whole evening seducing me & at the end I didn’t go along with his advance, “You angry…?” I asked softly.

 

“No, I’m not angry… I’m fine, babe… let go watch a movie?”

 

“Wait, you sure you’re okay? I’m aware of how terrible you feel,” I then asked how was he going to resolve his horniness... a cold shower, masturbate at home or go look for a prostitute...

 

“Oh, maybe masturbation later on,” he replied sheepishly.

 

“I’m your girlfriend & I don’t allow you to masturbate. Listen, I’m in charge now. Bring down your seat & take off your underwear,” I was not surprise the way I behaved, taking the lead just liked those days whence working in Changi Village, no man could survive long under my manipulation, this place was too opened & I needed to finish him fast.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

   

To be continued......    

Edited December 1, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 21: Up Close & Personal

 

 

Under ordinary circumstances, I would be passive & timid in love-making, but switching to the role I played at Changi Village, I became bold & daring.

 

As a street hooker, my aim was to climax my clients asap, to get more clients & earn more money as possible for the night. With the experience I gained from the few hundred guys I'd served, I was pretty sure Shawn would achieve an orgasm quickly, however not for money wise this time.

 

Though dumbfounded for the reversal of roles, he hadn’t lost his initiative, he retrieved the box of tissue from the back & placed it on the front deck before taking off his underwear. 

 

I appreciated the trust he had on me, and I sincerely hoped that he wouldn’t associate my change of behavior to my stint in Changi Village.

 

“You are going to love this,” I parted his legs & my left fingers were tickling his scrotum while we were kissing. It took probably less than 10 seconds to realize his little brother went from flaccid to completely stiffened.

 

He was contented while his eyes stayed shut. So, I started rubbing his little brother ups & down, and then circling around & around & around. He froze & shivered instantaneously.

 

I started licking his nipple, then the other. Just liked many guys, his was equally sensitive. He breathed hard as I circled my tongue, expertly exploring his nipples. I knew he was overwhelmed & wanted this kind of pleasure as he groaned lowly, “Ahhhhh… nice… nice… damn nice…”

 

I continued with my tongue… licking, circling, sucking & nipping …  my hand was never stopped too, resting on his tummy & rubbing his little brother up & down… but faster…

 

“Let go, Shawn,” I urged him lowly.

 

“Yes, yes… I will… yes…” he hissed loudly.

 

“Come, honey, come…”

 

As I continued to urge him, I noticed the signature cues he was showing, the rapid breathing & involuntary pelvis thrusting… I knew he was about to reach ejaculatory inevitability, the ‘point of no return’.

 

To heighten his arousal & increase the intensity of his orgasm, I placed my palm on his balls, softly rubbing them & whispered softly, “Come, good boy, come…”

 

“Oh… ahhh… coming… coming… coming,” he groaned loudly followed by a rapid firing of his semen & contractions of muscles around the base of his balls.

 

… But you know what truth is?... This morning, the same one you’re going to make love with tonight. That’s truth, that’s love…

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

… Lean on me (And I’ll lean on you), Together we will see it through…

 

 

There was a momentarily silence between us. I snuggled up against his chest & listened to his heartbeat, went from fast pace back to normal.

 

Leaning on him, I could have stayed in this posture forever, feeling his heartbeat, listening to soothing love songs that floating in the air & breathing in the overwhelming scent of his aftershave cologne, that by now I should have getting used to.

 

I felt him sitting up slightly… “Jennifer, let me clean up your hand first,”

 

He was right, we couldn’t do any embrace unless cleaning up ourselves was done. It was the most logical thing to start. So, I gave my left hand for him to tidy up my palm & fingers thoroughly.

 

Just as he attended to himself, I took the spare time & put on my bra. But before I managed to wear my dress, he pulled me against his left chest, he was still stark naked. He kissed my forehead gently & embraced me closely with his right arm. Again, I heard clearly the reassuring steadiness of his heartbeat.

 

“Hey, not going to put on your clothing?” I asked softly.

 

“Nah… no hurry, babe… is damn shiok to have skin to skin with you,” then he kissed my cheek, “you got your hand stained, you’re a brave girl… those eerie creepy stuff… I love you,” he whispered & the passion in his tone sent feverish quivers through me.

 

“Not at all, you were on fire & I…” I paused, and switched my words from "I valued you" to “I just wanted to help,” It was so un-truthful that I failed to understand myself.

 

"What an intense pleasure," he said & besieged his little brother with his right palm, “I did this many time, but what you did was the best,”

 

“Thank you,”

 

"Jennifer…"

 

“Yes…?” I stroked my fingers leisurely over him.

 

"I am thinking that… I want… want to have a real one next time, not… not… masturbation, okay?"

 

I felt dreamy. I was listless for a long long time since Kong's demise, and now this guy named Shawn imploring me to be his sex partner. For me as a transgender in waiting, how true it was for a second time?

 

I sighed lowly… I didn't want to ruin this perfect moment, but what could I say to convince him to wear a condom?

 

Lifting my gaze, I searched his eyes, then nodded, “Okay, but I want you to use the condom,”

 

“Condom… why…? I’m clean… unless you give me a good reason,”

 

“If the fluid... your thing you know... leaking out from my body & smudges my clothing, understand?” I spoke shyly & with a little annoyance.

 

“Okay, okay, okay, wear condom… don’t get angry please,” sensing my annoyance, he relented.

 

“I promise to let you do it raw at appropriate opportunities... trust me, really… I believe seeding me is the only way to cement our relationship,”

 

“I trust you. You’re the boss, so you decide,” placing a gentle kiss on my cheek, he whispered into the stillness of the night, "I love you,"

 

I whispered in return, "I love you too."

 

Time lost all meaning as our bodies pressed so close together.

 

 

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 21 ---------------------

Edited December 3, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

On 10/6/2017 at 12:41 AM, Mique75ts said:

Give u a big heart and respect kak.. Xoxo 

 

So sorry to respond this late.

 

Thank you. 

[Larry]

On 10/10/2017 at 9:41 PM, Guest Guest said:

Wow, can't believe I read from page 1 all the way down here NONSTOP. EVERY WORD.

I have a few urges to post while I'm reading but I feel it wouldn't be respectful without reading through it first.

 

Your writing makes me realize the thoughts of a woman so deeply. 

I'm a woman with a male soul, I never dress up/make up/look pretty etc, nor I have girly thoughts like u do.

 

It also made me having revelations that there's no right /wrong, only easy/difficult choices in life.

 

↖(^ω^)↗加油 on your works!

 

Damn, another miss out on my end that failed to respond.

 

I am curious & wishes to know more about you, in particular "a woman with a male soul". Also, just feel free to give comment, no restriction, so long is constructive.

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 22: It Was Tough to Manage A Love Relationship with Shawn, My Boss

 

Love has no boundaries, indeed.

 

But having love relationship with Shawn my CEO was both exciting & tricky, especially if the relationship affected my daily workplace performance.

 

Shawn started popping up more regularly at my meetings recently, be it daily production briefings, monthly production meetings or the impromptu operation meetings. During the early employment when I was new, he accompanied me to these meetings, he then let me alone to take charge. However, situation seemed to be changing, back to the early days when I was newly employed.

 

Of course he as the CEO, attending to any or all of my meetings was his prerogative, I had no right to stop him. 

 

Frankly, for daily production briefing, which was conducted at an open space next to the warehouse, I could see with his approaching & it gave me time to have myself mentally prepared. I had no qualm on his attendances, to certain extent it saved me the troubles to update him later on.

 

But for other meetings, which were conducted at the conference room, was a complete different scenario.

 

First time first, at one of the meetings, I went speechless when noticing his appearance. He must be slipping onto the conference room via the back door, while I was in the midst doing my explanation via the over projector with my back facing the attendees.

 

After briefing through all transparencies, I turned around & first thing I observed was that he was there sitting with the rests, grinning & looking at me. I was startled, just like girls when meet with things unforeseeable, I almost screamed but was lucky to seal my lips & went silent for a short while.

 

I protested to him in his room privately, and he laughed hysterically, “Oh, wows, almost screaming, aiyo… you did nothing wrong, why scream? So girlish…”

 

“Listen, I didn’t expect your coming, and you sat there leeching me like a chekopak, and I dislike,”

 

“Sorry if I do give you the wrong impression, but honestly I felt an urge to see you,”

 

“Just be careful… I don’t wish any worker to suspect us,”

 

“Don’t worry, I am careful & promise to keep my lips sealed, unless & until you’re ready to tell,”

 

Despite my protest, he still made impromptu visits to my meetings, and I had soon become acquainted with such situation. And unlike the first time that watching me idiotically, he would ask questions, and would point out some changes he’d like to see.

 

That was almost 20 years ago, and I smiled for his & my fine acting when I think of it.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x   

  

To be continued......

Edited December 19, 2017 by Larry

[Larry]

On 12/24/2017 at 12:42 AM, Zackling said:

@Guest guestsober, STFU & FO, no one welcomes ur uncalled for comments. 

 

Zack my dear friend, I know you will always be here to protect me. So sweet...

 

Just ignore him, this poor literacy neurotic idiot came here to generate attention.

 

By the way still not too late to wish you a merry Christmas & prosperous New Year.

[G_M]

On 12/23/2017 at 3:12 PM, Guest guestsober said:

Honestly,i won't get turn on if you touch me.

 

On 12/24/2017 at 12:56 AM, Guest guestsober said:

Chey!so petty!big mouth cum big ass but can't take heat,turn on the fan.

 

Any more crap from you and I will suspend your 2 other member account.

[kimlo777]

On 8/16/2009 at 10:53 AM, Larry said:

Dear Guest As Well,

 

It is my duty to present my story with minimum typo errors & wrong application of vocabulary. There is no excuse on my part though I am Chinese educated.

 

Concerning about the errors you pointed out:

 

1. "Bastard" was "Bustard". Agreed, 3 out of the 4 applications were wrong & had been corrected.

 

2. The use of "veined" is correct, it is used to describe the comical manner, style or mood demonstrated by Ling, my big sister at that moment. Your suggestion of "vain" is not appropriate to be used here, as I didn't feel he was having too high an opinion of his looks, abilities, etc.

 

Once again, I want to thank you in reading up my story. Please feel free to feed me constructive opinion.

 

Regards.

For someone who is Chinese educated, I must commend you on your writing - it is a brave attempt.  Although, I must say that there are some grammatical and syntax errors but these do not divert my attention from a good story.  We are not looking for an award-winning Pultlizer novel but an honest to goodness autobiography.  Keep on writing sister, we are here to support you.

Edited December 27, 2017 by kimlo777

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 22: It Was Tough to Manage A Love Relationship with Shawn, My Boss

 

It was hard to resist Shawn’s relentless pursuing & I knew he was serious, not in one-time fling & determined to have our relationship long-termed. I accepted & agreed to move our relationship further, but made a rule together that while at work we were employee & boss instead of boy-girl-friend. Additionally, I asked him to keep silent on our relationship.

 

It was no simple task to decide to reveal or not our intimacy to the coworkers, although the company didn’t have a policy against workplace romance. My lunch mate Fatimah the HR executive had once encouraged me to accept Shawn’s dating was a clear testament for such non-existed concern.

 

Shawn agreed reluctantly, his thinking was that so long as we both were single, there was no reason to hide. Too simplistic on his thinking, surely as the boss of the company, who dared to hinder him?

 

But for me I thought otherwise. There was quite a number of young unmarried females under my command. Would there secret admirers among them targeting at Shawn? No definite answer to date but was possible, as Shawn was one golden bachelor in the company, Seriously I was not ready to open up a can of worms by making public my romance with Shawn.

 

I worried that it might lead to some unhappy coworkers, with jealousy & animosity towards me. Indirectly impacting production efficiency, jeopardizing delivery performance, affecting my ability to do my job, keeping my work life intact & etc.

 

I told Shawn of my concern & he replied nonchalantly, “Silly girl, what secret admirer could I have?”

 

“Don't be so sure,” I retorted.

 

“Hah,” he laughed loudly, “I am going to love that… secret admirer… if there are... oh, my God…”

 

He failed to understand the problem from my perspective, “Let me tell you, I’m here longer than you. Secret admirer one or many do not exist, what is the point if I’m not aware of their existence?”

 

“Just a lousy excuse, my dear…r,” he talked lowly & looked deep into my eyes, “you’re just too shy to let people know, I can understand,”

 

Anyway, he respected my concern & agreed to keep our relationship under wraps, till I felt appropriate to reveal.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

   

To be continued......

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 22: It Was Tough to Manage A Love Relationship with Shawn, My Boss

 

I turned to Ling for help. Having same fetish on wearing female clothing, we supported each other while moving towards our common vision on MtF, however this time I needed her to be my love consultant, a new subject for us.

 

“Awesome,” was her first respond, “I’m so happy for you & Shawn,” she then hugged me & smiled broadly.

"Sis, you hasn't answer my question?” 

“Small sister,“ you said so many things & asked many too, so which question?” she said teasingly.

 

“Okay, okay… can I keep my romance a secret, or to make it public?”

 

“Listen, Shawn as boss of the company dates his number one assistant, that's you, it is never a private matter. If you've decided to reveal, will your coworkers mature enough to accept?”

 

“Yeah, that’s my concern… not too sure Shawn has any secret admirer?”

 

“Yes, you can’t rule this out, are you able to identify them?”

 

“Not easy. Ask around if someone having a crush on Shawn, silly isn’t it? People may arouse suspicion, then get backfire exposing hidden intent,” I replied while shaking my head.

 

“No clue at all? Didn’t you mingle with your workers during break or lunch time?”

 

Seeing me shaking my head, she shook hers too, “See, you're so atas... no mingling with your workers at all…” She then suggested to spend times with them during breaks & lunch, “Make small talks, such as traffic jam, movie, fashion & etc., gradually to talk about boyfriend & gauge their reaction. Those big mouth having no loyalty to their co-workers may tell,”

 

I thanked Ling profoundly, she is a real bestie, and I had more to learn from her on people management.

 

“This will take time, do carefully & you're gonna to find out if there is,” and she suggested not to reveal the relationship till the situation was clearer & to decide the next move, “cause these secret admirers can be spoilers & disrupting your work,”

 

"But how long I can keep the romance under wraps? Is just a matter of time someone will notice the connection between me & Shawn & start spreading rumors, after all Singapore is such a small country & people are highly mobile,"

 

"There is always a way. Don't cross the bridge until you come to it,"   

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

   

To be continued......

 

 

Edited February 11, 2018 by Larry

[Larry]

Sorry problem occurred on my laptop, rich text vs plain text etc. etc., could not edit the last section, so reload here.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 22: It Was Tough to Manage A Love Relationship with Shawn, My Boss

 

It was a fruitful discussion & I took notice a few key points,

1. Dating a coworker in same level may be easier to handle than dating the boss. 

2. I can't deny the prestige coming from this relationship. No matter what, I must stay humble & don't let pride affect my attitude.

3. Be mindful about people's gossips that I have caught a big fish.

4. Naturally people will gossip I get special treatment from Shawn.

5. When talking to Shawn at work, I ought to avoid sweet talking & flirtatious behavoirs, as these can undermine my authority. I'm more concerned on Shawn, as love & lust can sometime cloud his mind, resulting in off-limits touching, hugging & other physical contacts while at work, this can make the other workers & myself uncomfortable.

6. To reveal or not, my performance shall not be affected. This will make Shawn look better too, that our relationship will not interfere with my work performance.

 

What a nuisance to go through.

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 22 ---------------------  

 

 

Edited February 11, 2018 by Larry

[Guest Don t let me see you]

What a touching debates on these entire admirations of yours. It will be great that you can write about some beauty tips for other trans to get more beautiful. I have so many trans Friend who really need to enhance on how it looks through inner beauty too. Guild them to a red carpet to be glamourous. Like you

[Larry]

On 2/17/2018 at 10:43 PM, Guest Don t let me see you said:

What a touching debates on these entire admirations of yours. It will be great that you can write about some beauty tips for other trans to get more beautiful. I have so many trans Friend who really need to enhance on how it looks through inner beauty too. Guild them to a red carpet to be glamourous. Like you

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, a fact that not all people have the same opinion about what is attractive.

 

I am in no position to talk about beauty tips. It is more appropriate to consult the professionals: the beautician & cosmetic surgeons, in particular surgeons from Thailand & Korea.

 

Through these years, what I’d observed is only fortunate few are to have congenital feminine appearance (except breast enhancement), most of us need to nurture the beauty through years of effort, on topics such as flawless complexion, white teeth, plump lips, pointed nose, hourglass body figure, sizable bosom & etc.

 

Money, money & more money, individual financial capability is the core for us to achieve what’s we want. Surgeries & more Botox I believe will make us feel good about ourselves, go for it – within reason. 

 

A truly beautiful individual is one who is attractive externally but on the inside too, a person’s outer beauty soon fades if the inner beauty does not match.

 

It is within everyone’s grasp to become beautiful. The way we carry ourselves, dress elegantly, interact & smile confidently, exercise kindness & compassion to others are just a few things that, to me, make a person beautiful.

 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, never rely on others to make you feel beautiful. That in our own minds & eyes, we feel proud about ourselves, a condition that should be bestowed upon us, not anyone else.

 

Wishing all blowing winders a happy & prosperous Chinese New Year.

[Larry]

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 23: I knew that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere

 

Cuddling Shawn’s arm softly, I walked along the aisle at East Coast Hawker Centre, it was after watching the 7 o'clock movie on one Saturday night.

 

Shawn talked intermittently but I didn’t respond, all my mind wandered on one romantic movie scene, the part where the male actor propose marriage to the female lead. It was dreamy with such an outcome & I smiled lightly.

 

“Hey, what do you want to eat?” finally Shawn tapped my arm to get my attention.

 

“Anything… you decide,”

 

“Maybe I should let you order the food,” Shawn said, voice low & warm, and I blinked at him, laughed out softly, “Oh yeah, sure, don’t complaint if the dishes don’t suit you,” … “How about fried prawn noddle?” he led me toward the food vendor. It was a precious moment as we poked fun at each other, ‘Nah… big fat eater’ ‘Oh yeah, not like you, so choosy’ & etc.

 

But our little flirting was short life, as someone called out my surname from afar, “Miss Koh, Miss Koh,”

 

“Hey, someone is calling your name,” Shawn alerted me from the side. And as we turned around to face the source, my face turned pale & murmured helplessly, “Jesus, oh my God…” there a group of co-workers from a nearby table waving at us, “Hello, Miss Koh,” (walked from nearby holiday chalet to have supper).

 

I didn’t know how I survived that evening... everything was such blurry, tagging behind Shawn as were a zombie, I went through the handshakes & greetings emotionlessly. I was red-faced & smiled foolishly... my undercover romance with Shawn was ultimately been exposed, damned it…

 

At work, Shawn & I went to great lengths keeping secret our close relationship, mindful of how people might judge us, not least he as managing director & me as his second-in-command. We’d travel to the factory together in the morning (but no in the evening for obvious reason) but he’d drop me off round one corner of the HDB carpark next to the industrial estate where the factory was situated, out of people's sight.

 

Shawn comforted me while having our supper, “Don’t worry, we’ll go through this hurdle together,”

 

So far so good, we had done our best, until… what could I say & I sighed lowly.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x   

  

To be continued......

Edited March 14, 2018 by Larry

[Larry]

Sorry guys for the long delay, was so much engrossed with the show The Imperial Doctress. Cried a plenty while watching the show.

 

Please may I have few weeks for the next instalment.

Edited April 1, 2018 by Larry

[Guest Concern]

I would like to know when are you going to write more! I stay Joo chiat too! Do I get the freshly bake entitlement getting the finest and first hand to read!

[Larry]

Sorry, just a short one.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 23: I knew that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere

 

Came Monday.

 

Because of the Saturday night incident, Shawn suggested to head straight to the factory together, “Be brave, face the people,” he said.

 

I shook my head & couldn't form the sentences, but finally managed to say, “Sorry, I’m still not ready."

 

"Don’t worry, I’ll walk with you together, but no hold hands, can?”

 

He gave up persuading me as I insisted doing the old way. So, dropping off from the neighbourhood car park, entered the side gate, past the canteen, at the lift lobby, took the lift to third floor, and walking through the general office till entered my room, I was very much perturbed throughout.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

For a moment I sat gazing blankly at the back page of the newspaper I had just put before me. Fear, and more fear, was straining me up... my mind was full of what if’s & maybe’s. It was a ridiculous feminine weakness, at a moment while waiting to start the day’s work, waiting to meet my coworkers & waiting to patrol the production floor. But if you had fear, you had it, and I had not discovered a cure so far.

 

The gazing was so in depth & I appeared not to notice what's going on around me… till I realized the cleaning lady had just left my room after emptied up the rubbish bin.

 

“Damn it..." I muttered instantly. Not wanting her to perceive me as arrogance, I stood up & ran out of my room & called out at her, “Auntie, thank you. So sorry, didn’t notice you,” It was one damage control method taught by Shawn. Just in case she felt being offended & bad-mouthed my perceived arrogance.

 

Note: In people management, like it or not, you must be seemed you do respect people in particular those at lower level. Also, I believe today you are 'somebody' because of your job, but tomorrow you are just a 'nobody' when you’re jobless. So, stay humble & not be arrogance.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Back to my chair, I told myself the mind muddling must be stopped, which wreaking havoc on me mentally. I ought to get ready to start work.

 

Just as I was about to take out my note book from the drawer, Shawn appeared at the door. Knocking at the door, he came in with his cup of coffee & handed me another cup of teh-o. Gosh… he would do this routinely whenever he was not outstation, I was so use to this sort of pampering... boss serving his staff...

 

“Want me to company you for the daily production briefing?”

 

“Thanks, but nope,” I replied.

 

“Okay okay... is your wish… Anyway, I'll be watching you from afar,” he paused before continued, “Dear, I just wanna protect you, it’s what I believe in,”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

To be continued......

[Larry]

So sorry for the long delay, spent too much time monitoring the election reports on Malaysiakini.

 

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 23: I knew that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere

 

Bringing the note book, I took the lift & went down to ground level. Still feeling perturb while walking towards the meeting point, I lost focus that my high heels almost got trap on the floor crack which I usually quite attentive, “damn,” I cursed lowly & determined at the meeting to tell Chong (Production Supervisor) to get his maintenance crews of fixing the crack.

 

My first task was to chair the daily production briefing. Abnormally I spoke softly, lowly & didn't attempt to make eye contact with anyone. Unlike the usual self, I behaved inwardly, simply because there was a demon inside of me... But as time passed, the demon diminished, I realized there was nothing un-usual, nothing to worry & there was no second look on me.

 

Anyhow, we discussed various issues & tasks were assigned, that their commitments & deadlines went into my note book too for following up. The meeting ended peacefully, and as usual some walking away stern & unsmiling.

 

After the meeting, I would be spending some time on production floor. Since it was Monday, beside saying hello to fellow co-workers & interact, which would help build stronger cooperation & understanding among us, it was also for me to observe if any abnormality happened on the weekends. I was on 5-days work week & rarely came on Saturday & Sunday, so this walking around was useful.

 

Shawn did these walking around before I joined the company. I understood its purposes & advantages, so I inherited the practice. Years later when I attended the post graduate diploma in industrial management, I found its appropriate term, known as ‘Management By Walking Around’ or sometimes MBWA, that you may spot potential problems & areas for improvement.

 

Walking towards the clean room, my mind was tossing about should I or not skip the soldering section, where the girls there saw me & Shawn at the East Coast Food Centre.

 

Then I heard Shawn calling me from behind, “Miss Koh,”

 

I looked back to the left & saw him walking down from a stairway some 20 foot away. Shawn smiled & I smiled. He came walking toward me. At the glass partition adjoining the clean room, he asked, “How, so far so good?”

 

Before I could reply his question, he continued, “Come, let’s walk the production,”

 

“I, err… am thinking, umm… err… whether is okay to walk together, maybe not today...”

 

“This is an order, let’s go,” he spoke with a little anger.

 

Shawn walked calmly as if nothing had happened, while I was noticeably upset & terrified as we toured the production floor.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x   

To be continued......    

Edited September 13, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 23: I knew that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere

 

“老板早, 经理早,” (Good morning, boss & manager) & “老板早, Miss Koh 早,” these were greetings we received from the co-workers while walking along the production floor.

“早,” “早,” Tagging along behind Shawn, I smiled weakly while returning their greetings.

 

Apparently, Shawn was in good mood, as he repeatedly asked me the same question during our walk, "See, so far so good, right?"

 

‘Of course, is good lah… we are yet to walk the soldering section, the section where workers there met us at East Coast Hawker centre last Saturday. Who’s know anything unforeseen will happen there?’ I cursed silently & felt his question was silly & annoying but nodded perfunctorily each time he asked.

 

It drove me crazy, I snapped at him finally, hoping that he would stop repeating the question, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hope so,”

 

“Hey, hey, hey… come-on, don't be so pessimistic,” he grumbled but my reply at least did stop him asking the same question.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

   

丑媳妇早晚要见公婆 (Ugly bride will meet her in-law sooner or later, means the truth will come), that’s right, another ten meters we would reach the soldering section.

 

Talking about the soldering section, not only its location was less ideal, at the far end of production floor, it was also the only section being partitioned out from the shop floor.

 

At the far end, massive transporting of parts coming from preceding sections & post soldered jobs (mainly printed circuit boards) to next section was inefficiency, violating the importance of smooth process flow & short routing.

 

Ideally the layout should allow minimum backtracking, Shawn explained that the cock-up was because soldering was not there but needed when company decided to do subcontracting with a Japanese OEM, resulting the less ideal location.

 

We saw a female worker opened up the door & pushing a trolley of parts into the soldering room. But before the door was closed fully by the door closer, we heard her shouting, “安静, 老板和老板娘 来了,” (Quiet, boss & lady boss is coming)

 

The hateful word 老板娘 (lady boss) hit my mind momentarily. Losing self-control, I told Shawn & walked away hurriedly, “Boss, sorry, I’m not going in,”

 

Shawn stood stunned for a while at the entrance, his hand was on the door knob. Looking at me & said angrily, “Fine, you’re not going in, but I’m going in, I’m going to fix these people up,”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued......

Edited September 13, 2019 by Larry

[Larry]

C. Me No Gay – Shawn
Chapter 23: I knew that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere

 

‘Shawn,’ I cursed silently, why not keeping your cool? Just don't give two hoots what people were talking, dammit.

 

‘Gosh, God help me please,’ I felt helpless. And from the moment the door was closed, calm seemed to be out of the question. Pacing the corridor up & down, I felt notably uneasy, though no danger was imminently present. However, with increased heart rate & palms running cold sweat, I asked myself should I walk away or stay around to eavesdrop any voice coming out from the room?

 

‘Maybe just stay around for five minutes,’ I told myself.

 

Pretending to look at my note book, I stood near to the door as to eavesdrop any talking coming out from the room. There were a few workers passed by that made me feel even more edgy, but fortunately none came from the soldering section.

 

“Good morning, Miss Koh,” …

 

I didn’t remember I did returned their greetings or not as I had tried to hide my anxiety by pretending writing somethings on my note book.

 

Without much waiting, I heard loud & furious voices of Shawn, but tempered down eventually. Throughout the time he spoke using Mandarin mixed with English.

 

Shawn: “各 位, 什么老板和老板娘来了?” (Fellow workers, I heard some of you fussing up & shouting about the arrival of boss & boss lady, what's the hell is going on?”

 

Shawn: “你知道你们会让你的经理Koh小姐感到尴尬吗?" (Don't you know you would embarrass Miss Koh, your manager?)

 

Others: “Sorry, boss,” 

Shawn: “Yeah, no more老板娘, okay? 你们的经理很害羞的,” (Yeah, no nickname of boss lady, ok? Your manager is a very shy person,”

Other: “Boss, 你在追求Koh小姐吗?" (Boss, are you in pursuit of Miss Koh?) 

Shawn: “Yes,” 

Others: “加油老板,” (Boss, work it up,)

Their conversation had completely make me dumbfounded, not listening further I walked away quickly. I was angry that Shawn revealed our dating to the people.

 

I went straight back up to my room.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued......

Edited September 13, 2019 by Larry