worldangel Posted April 20, 2024 Report Share Posted April 20, 2024 Joke: Stationary Bike When I was at the gym yesterday, everyone kept asking me why I was always sitting still on the stationary bike. I’m going downhill, dude, mind your own business. yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 20, 2024 Report Share Posted April 20, 2024 Joke: A distraught senior citizen ... A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 26, 2024 Report Share Posted April 26, 2024 Joke: A man and a woman had been married ... A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. "I know you've been with a lot of women before. How many were there?" The husband replied, "Look, I don't want to upset you, there were many. Let's just leave it alone." The wife continued to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in. "Let's see." he said "There was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 26, 2024 Report Share Posted April 26, 2024 Joke: A pregnant woman went to the ... A pregnant woman went to the gynaecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard." Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked, "Your nipples get hard?" "Yes" quite innocently came her reply. "Undress so I can check" replied the still amazed doc. So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer. After some considerable time, the doctor, still looked puzzled, said, "Well madame, I don't know what you have, but it sure as hell is contagious!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 27, 2024 Report Share Posted April 27, 2024 Joke: Three old men Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions. One 75-year-old man says: "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at 7 a.m. and it takes me 20 minutes to pee." An 80-year-old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at 8 a.m. and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90-year-old man says: "Not me. At 7 a.m. I pee like a horse and at 8 a.m. I crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" asked the others. "I don't wake up until 9:00." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 27, 2024 Report Share Posted April 27, 2024 Joke: A guy falls asleep on the beach... A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn all over his body. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns on his legs. He was starting to blister and in pain by the time the doctor arrived. To help, the doctor prescribed an IV with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. The attending nurse was rather surprised by the prescription and asked, "What good will Viagra do him?" The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheets off his legs." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 2, 2024 Report Share Posted May 2, 2024 Good news...bad news... "I have good news and bad news," a defence attorney told his client. "First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress." "Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is down to 140!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 2, 2024 Report Share Posted May 2, 2024 Joke: A teenager takes a seat on a b... A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle-aged man reading a newspaper. After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intensively on the youth's multicoloured mohawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?" The man responded with "I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 3, 2024 Report Share Posted May 3, 2024 Joke: Foreman One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. “You know what a foreman is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches the other men work?” “What's that got to do with it?” he asked. “Well, he just got jealous of me,” Uncle Joe explained. “Everyone thought I was the foreman.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 3, 2024 Report Share Posted May 3, 2024 Joke: Come On Mister A naked man runs into a tailor's shop. The tailor says, "You can't be in here with no clothes on!" The man says, "Come on mister, cut me some slacks?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 5, 2024 Report Share Posted May 5, 2024 Joke: Matt's dad picked him up from... Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 5, 2024 Report Share Posted May 5, 2024 Joke: In Love The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I'm in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With YOU!" he said. "But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child." "Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 7, 2024 Report Share Posted May 7, 2024 Joke: Senior Citizen Two businessmen were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, ' I bet any minute now some senior citizen is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.' No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior citizen walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "What are you sellin' here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assh*les." Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two le Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 7, 2024 Report Share Posted May 7, 2024 Joke: Good and Bad News The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news." Dan said, "Give me the good news." "They're going to name a disease after you." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 16, 2024 Report Share Posted May 16, 2024 Joke: Good and Bad News The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news." Dan said, "Give me the good news." "They're going to name a disease after you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 16, 2024 Report Share Posted May 16, 2024 Joke: Final Exam A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 16, 2024 Report Share Posted May 16, 2024 Joke: Black Eyes A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked. "Well," the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 25, 2024 Report Share Posted May 25, 2024 Joke: On Each Bicep My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly bear on each bicep... She is infringing on my right to bear arms! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 25, 2024 Report Share Posted May 25, 2024 Joke: A lady walks into the drug store ... A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks, "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" The lady says, "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you any for that reason," says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position, the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist. He looks at the photo and says, "Oh I didn't know you had a prescription" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 26, 2024 Report Share Posted May 26, 2024 Joke: Swims On Its Back Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 26, 2024 Report Share Posted May 26, 2024 Joke: They Love A Tupperware Party Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 26, 2024 Report Share Posted May 26, 2024 Joke: Super-Sex A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home wearing only a flimsy negligee. As she walked, she would flip up her nightgown at people and say,"Super-sex!" She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said,"Super-sex!" He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 26, 2024 Report Share Posted May 26, 2024 Joke: I’m Going In After It A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for some condoms with insecticide. "I think you mean spermicidal," says the cashier. "No", he says, "I need condoms with insecticide. My wife has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 2, 2024 Report Share Posted June 2, 2024 Joke: Why Does A Dog Lick? Why does a DOG lick his balls? Because he CAN! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 2, 2024 Report Share Posted June 2, 2024 Joke: Why He Hides the Eggs Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know that he slept with a chicken. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2024 Report Share Posted June 9, 2024 Joke: Your Thingy Doesn't Have Two 5 year-old boys are standing at the toilet, getting ready to pee. One says, "Your thingy doesn't have any skin on it." "I've been circumcised," the other one says. "What's that mean?" "It means they cut the skin off at the end." "How old were you when it was cut off?" "My mum said I was two days old." "Did it hurt?" "You bet it hurt. I couldn’t walk for a year!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2024 Report Share Posted June 9, 2024 Joke: All Around His Beak and Bottom A man was walking past a shop when he saw a parrot showing his asshole to him. So he went inside and complained. The next day the parrot had tape all round his beak and bottom. But there was a piece of paper saying "WANKER" on it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2024 Report Share Posted June 9, 2024 Joke: Where Is Your Wild Card? Little Johnny walked in on his parents having sex. He asked what they were doing. His father said, "We're playing poker and you're mom is the wild card." The next day, little Johnny walks in on his brother having sex with his girlfriend and he asked what they were doing. His brother said, "We're playing poker and she is the wild card." The next day little Johnny's mom walks in on him wanking off like there is no tomorrow. She said, "I see you're playing poker but where is your wild card?" Little Johnny said, "Why do I need a wild card with a hand like this!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2024 Report Share Posted June 9, 2024 Joke: Like A Jar of Jalapeños Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeños… What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2024 Report Share Posted June 9, 2024 Joke: Mission Accomplished One night, an old man comes home to his wife is laying on their bed in the same sexy outfit she wore on their wedding night. The old lady says to her husband, "Dear, do you remember what this is?" "Yes dear," he replies. The old lady continues, "Do you remember what you said to me last time I wore this, on our wedding night?" The old man, bored of these questions, replies, "Yes dear, I do." The old lady forced him to repeat it and the old man aggravatedly says, "I'm going to suck your tits until there’s nothing left and f**k your brains out." The old lady, satisfied with the answer, says, "And now, 40 years later with me in this same outfit- what do you have to say?" "Mission accomplished." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: A Herd of Cows What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: We're Not There Yet Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?” Doctor: “To the morgue.” Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!” Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Signs Of A Bad Prostate Exam What is the worst thing to feel during a prostate exam? Two hands on your shoulders. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: We Need A Flashlight A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Free Sex Tonight I asked a foreign girl for her number. She was still learning the English language, but I understood her completely! She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend corrected me, "She means 666-3629." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Hard and Fast What did the 'newborn' egg say before he went into boiling water? "Don’t expect me to get hard that fast, I just got laid." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: The Hole of the World A suspicious acting man arrives at a big airport and is going through customs. He becomes extremely irate when the customs inspector insists on searching his bags. He screams at the inspector, “This city is the asshole of the world!” “And I take it,” replies the inspector, “that you are just passing through?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Half A Million Battered Two cannibals are sitting in a bar. One turns to the other and says, “Did you know that in this country alone there are over half a million battered women?” “No shit,” the other guy says. “And all this time I’ve been eating them plain.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Let's Play Navy "Want to play Navy?" "How do we do that?" "I lay down and you blow the seamen out of me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Go Out Like My Grandfather Two men are talking about how they want to leave the world. “I’d like to go out like my uncle,” says the first man. “He died at the race track.” The second man says he’d like to go out like his grandfather. “He just died peacefully. Fell asleep and never woke up or made a sound. Nothing like the people riding in his bus.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Ideal Body Weight "What would you say is your ideal body weight?" asked the very attractive doctor. "Yours on top of mine," replied the very horny patient. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: I'm Using My Hand The perfect poem for a loved one… Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m using my hand, I'm thinking of you! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: Walk Tall It was the foreigner’s first time at a baseball game. His friend cheered wildly each time a batter came to the plate, and after a while the foreigner cheered as well. After Vinnie DiFate had had his turn at bat, the foreigner shouted, “Run, Vinnie, run!” “No,” his friend said, “Vinnie has four balls, so he walks.” Eyes wide, the foreigner yelled, “Walk tall, Vinnie! Walk tall!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: You Break Me Beer Bottle: "You break me, you get one year of bad luck!" Mirror: "You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!" Condom: "Hahaha…" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: As Many As I Want A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: The Pecker Knows Two old trees are conversing in the forest when they happen to notice a baby sapling beginning to grow between them. Trying to determine what kind of tree it is, they find themselves in a bit of an argument. One is certain it is a son of a birch tree, while the other is certain it is a son of a beach tree. The following day, a woodpecker lands on one of the old tree's branches. "Woodpecker! You know every kind of tree there is. Can you tell us, is that baby tree down there a son of a birch or a son of a beach?" So the woodpecker flies below and pecks here and there on the sapling then flies back up to the old trees. "Well which is it, a son of a birch or son of a beach?" "Ah, neither," the woodpecker replies. "That is the finest piece of ash I've ever had my pecker in!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2024 Report Share Posted June 14, 2024 Joke: What Was In Your Hand? Tony limps into his friend’s bar. He has two black eyes, a bloody lip, and he is on a crutch. His friend asks, “What the hell happened to you?” Tony says, “The guy next door did this.” “He must have had some kind of weapon in is hand.” “Yeah, a tire iron.” “Didn’t you have anything in your hand?” asked his friend. “Yeah, his wife’s left tit. It’s gorgeous, but not much good in a fight.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2024 Report Share Posted June 15, 2024 Joke: The Banker Wants Pockets A young successful banker decides to get his first tailor made suit. So he visits the finest tailor in town and gets measured. A week later he goes in for his first fitting. He puts on the suit and he looks stunning, he feels that in this suit he can really do business. As he is preening himself in front of the mirror, he reaches down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he finds that there are no pockets. He mentions this to the tailor. "Didn’t you tell me you were a banker?" the tailor asks. The young man answers, "Yes, I did." The tailor says, "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2024 Report Share Posted June 15, 2024 Joke: More Expensive than Blood Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation? Because it's hand made. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2024 Report Share Posted June 16, 2024 Joke: Your Thingy Doesn't Have Two 5 year-old boys are standing at the toilet, getting ready to pee. One says, "Your thingy doesn't have any skin on it." "I've been circumcised," the other one says. "What's that mean?" "It means they cut the skin off at the end." "How old were you when it was cut off?" "My mum said I was two days old." "Did it hurt?" "You bet it hurt. I couldn’t walk for a year!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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