worldangel Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Joke: A man has six children and is... A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home now, 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of four." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Joke: Generation gap? During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!" With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me." "Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you." 20wannajotgt 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Joke: I will grant you three wishes . . . maybe!? An older couple were walking on a beach when the husband tripped over a bottle and a genie came out. “You can each have one wish,” said the genie. The wife made her wish first “I would like to travel around the world, with my husband,”. Suddenly there appeared in her hand two tickets for travel around the world. Now it was the husbands turn, “Well” said the husband, with a naughty look on his face “I wish I can have a younger companion,” . The words were barely out of his mouth when poof, He aged 20 years! Steve5380 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Joke: She Called Me Pretentious My wife just called me pretentious. I was so surprised my monocle fell out. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Joke: Two elderly gentlemen Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre, were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Joke: The will to live A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me". The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Joke: Coffee Maker The newlywed went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received as a wedding gift. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready. A few weeks later the goober was back in the store and the salesman asked her how she liked the coffee maker. "Wonderful!" she replied, "But... it's just awfully inconvenient to have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 Joke: The Sentence A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defence. There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them; "The cow jumped over defence and detail went over defeat." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 Joke: A drunk driver is stopped for... A drunk driver is stopped for heading the wrong way on a one-way street. The police officer asked the driver, "Didn't you see the arrows?" The drunk responds, "Arrows? I couldn't even see the Tribe man." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 Joke: Pizza Coupon Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza and the coupon. When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 Joke: I Need A Mouse Trap A woman rushes into a hardware store and says, “Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will you be quick, I’ve got a bus to catch!” “Sorry, ma’am,” said the store clerk, “but we don’t sell ‘em that big!” yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 Joke: One day a little girl was watching ... One day a little girl was watching her mom make a roast beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the roasting pan. The little girl asked her mom why she cut off the ends of the roast. Mom replied, after some thought, that it was the way that her mother had done it. That night grandma came to dinner and the little girl and her mom went to her and asked why she had cut the end off of the roast before cooking. After some thought grandma replied, that was the way her mother had done it. Now great grandmother was quite old and in a nursing home. But the little girl went with her mom and grandma to see her and again asked the question. Grandma looked at them a bit annoyed and said, "So it would fit in the pan, of course." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 Joke: The Diving Board A man was on the very top diving board of a swimming pool. He was poised, he lifted his arms, and was about to dive in when the attendant came running up, shouting, “Don’t dive, there’s no water in that pool!” “That’s all right!” said the man. “I can’t swim!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 Joke: Pick-up line A man sees a gorgeous and sexy woman standing alone at a bar. After tossing back a couple of shots he gets the nerve to approach her and says: "Hi, I was going to tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long." The woman looks at him for a moment and replies: "What a coincidence. I was going to tell you a joke about my ass, but you'll never get it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 Joke: Specimen Bottle Steve had been in the hospital for days. His nurse was extremely annoying and he couldn't take much more. One day during breakfast, he took his apple juice container and used poured it into a urine specimen cup the nurse had insisted he fill. The nurse came in to check on him and looked at the specimen glass. In her annoying voice, she snickered, "It seems we are a little cloudy today." Steve put on his angry face, snatched the bottle out of her hand and drank it down in a few quick gulps, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again and maybe it will come out clearer this time." yhtang and shyc 2 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9 Report Share Posted March 9 Joke: Did You Pose for That? A man sees a picture of his wife in the nude hanging at an art show and demands of her, "Did you really pose for that?" "Don’t be ridiculous," she replies. "Of course not. The artist painted it from memory." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9 Report Share Posted March 9 Joke: Big Game Hunting A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the older woman. Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion! "Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically, "Do something!" "Oh, no," the husband says, "That lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9 Report Share Posted March 9 Joke: If He Can Screw One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th-floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defence. "Your Honour," she began cooly, "I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly!" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10 Report Share Posted March 10 Joke: My Dad Scribbles Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat! My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a 'Sermon' and it takes eight people to collect all the money!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10 Report Share Posted March 10 Joke: Meet A Beautiful Young Woman A frog called the Psychic hotline and was told, You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you." The frog said, "That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?" "No," replied the psychic. "Next semester in biology class." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10 Report Share Posted March 10 Joke: Okay To Marry Joe A husband calls for his wife on his deathbed. He tells his wife that after the passes away he doesn’t want her to be alone. “Six months after I pass, I think it would be okay for you to marry Joe.” “Joe?” his wife asks. “But I thought you hated Joe?” “I do,” the man answers. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10 Report Share Posted March 10 Joke: Hairy Underarms A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunken man next to her stares for a few minutes, and then he says, “I love a woman that does aerobics.” The woman replies angrily, “I do not do aerobics!” The man then looks at the woman and says, “Then how did you get your leg up so high?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 Joke: Super Sex!!! A woman, completely fed up with her husband's on-line obsession, finally takes matters into her own hands. One night, as he is sitting at the computer, she goes into the bedroom, takes off all her clothes, puts on a full length mink coat, and posts herself between her husband and the monitor. She pulls open the coat and yells, "Time for Super Sex!!!" He ignores her. So, she repeatedly yells, "Super Sex", "Super Sex", "Super Sex". Finally, he replies, "Ok, Ok, I'll take the soup". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 Joke: A college student picked up his... A college student picked up his date at her parent’s home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally, he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 Joke: A little girl is sitting on her... A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did the Heaven make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa. "Well, did the Heaven make me?" asks the little girl. "Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa. "Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 Joke: How Much Do You Love Me? A girl asks a boy, "Peter, how much do you love me?" The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you." The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?” Boy nods, "Exactly." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Joke: Lost Far From A Home A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. " Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? " Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Joke: An absent-minded husband thought... An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, when he came home, kissed his wife and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Joke: Invisible man Nurse: "The invisible man is here for his appointment.” Doctor: "Tell him I'm sorry I can't see him right now." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Joke: A Moral Question One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?" The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Joke: A professor of chemistry wanted... A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked. Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Joke: Kissing the secretary One fine morning Dean came early into the office and caught his subordinate,Martin kissing his secretary. Angered, Dean screamed: “Martin, do I pay you good salary for doing this?” Martin: “No sir, I am doing this for free.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Joke: Cow on the track! A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slowly. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Joke: Blind date How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Joke: Reading Is Fun A mother walks into her own bedroom and is surprised to catch her 10 year old daughter reading her diary. Startled, she just stands there. "You were right mom," says the daughter. "Reading is fun." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Joke: Absolutely naked woman enters ... Absolutely naked woman enters the pub. Barman looks at her very attentively. Woman: Hey, what's up? Haven't you ever seen naked woman? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Joke: After trying a new shampoo for... After trying a new shampoo for the first time a man fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer. Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton on his porch. Inside were free samples of the many products the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper items, etc. "Well, what do you think?" his wife asked smiling. "Next time," he replied. "I'm writing to General Motors!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Joke: Kiss One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is? "No, I don't," said the little boy "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work." Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Joke: Dead? A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the damn wall!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Joke: Childless Smokey the Bear Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have children? A: Every time his wife got hot, he stamped her out. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Joke: Doesn't Even Need Glasses John: "My grandpa is 98 years old, and he doesn't even use glasses." Jack: "Wow, that is incredible!" John: "Yep, he drinks straight from the bottle." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Joke: Addicted to Twitter A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.” The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: Seal at the mechanic A penguin takes his car to the shop to have it fixed. While he's waiting, he goes into a cool ice cream shop and eats ice cream. Having flippers instead hands, he gets the ice cream all over himself. He's goes back to the auto shop and asks the mechanic what was wrong with his car. "Well," says the mechanic, "it looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "It's just ice cream, I swear!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: A teacher is teaching a class... A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlour, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: 12 bees I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees. The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. “You’ve given me one too many” I said. “That one is a freebie” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: Solitaire Two lunatics are in the rec room of an asylum. One is playing solitaire, and the other is watching. Suddenly, the watcher says, "Hey! You just cheated yourself!" "Ssh!" The other whispers, "Don't tell anybody, but I've been cheating myself at solitaire for years." The first nut whispers back, "But, don't you ever catch yourself?" "Nope", the solitaire player say proudly, "I'm way too clever!" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: Follow Your Dreams They told me, "Follow your dreams..." So I went back to bed. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: Natural talents I have never made a fool of my mother-in-law, I just leave her to display her natural talents herself. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: Little voices A guy goes into a bar and order a beer. As he takes a sip of his beer, he hears a tiny little voice say: "Nice tie." He looks around but sees no one. He takes another sip of his beer and hears: "A nice shirt, too." Again, he looks around and sees no one. He signals the bartender over, and hesitantly explains that he's hearing voices talking to him... "Of course," smiles the bartender. "It's the peanuts -- they're complimentary." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Joke: Two engineering students meet... Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey -- Nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young co-ed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes and says 'You can have ANYTHING you want!!' " "Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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