worldangel Posted March 3, 2018 Report Share Posted March 3, 2018 Joke: Decency and Morals A key part of a candidate’s reform program was the elimination of X-rated video stores springing up downtown. As she stood campaigning before the crowd, her face grew red with anger at the very thought of this threat to public decency and morals. “I actually rented one of these filthy tapes,” she declared bravely, “and was disgusted to witness horrible acts of perversion: oral sex, one man engaging in the sex act with three women, a woman accommodating four men, and even sodomy! Vote for me, ladies and gentlemen, and I guarantee this blight on our community will be eliminated!” Catching her breath, she asked, “Any questions?” Twenty hands shot up. “Where’d you get the tape?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2018 Report Share Posted March 3, 2018 Joke: Two Tickles for Elmo This girl saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at the Elmo manufacturing factory, in the Tickle-Me-Elmo department. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was boring. The girl begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arrived there, the girl was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager angrily said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test-tickles, NOT two testicles!'' shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2018 Report Share Posted March 3, 2018 Joke: A Vagina to their Design The creation of p*ssy... Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit. Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole. Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within. Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without. Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell. Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, he touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee. Last was a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2018 Report Share Posted March 3, 2018 Joke: I Have Your Aspirin A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife once again complained, "I have a headache." "Don’t worry," her husband said. “I was just powdering myself with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2018 Report Share Posted March 3, 2018 Joke: Small Dose of Viagra The doctor comes in, sees Frank and asks, “What’s going on Frank?” Frank says, "I am here because I want you to prescribe me some Viagra." The physician mentions that because of his advance age he could only prescribe a small dose. “Oh, its ok, doctor, I just need it to quit peeing on my shoes.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 Joke: The "4" Animals There are "4" animals every woman needs: - A "Mink" for her closet... - A "Jaguar" in the garage... - A "Tiger" in the bedroom, and... - A "Jackass" to pay for it all!!! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 Joke: Grabbing Him By the Knee A handsome young broker assistant enjoys telling his co-workers how the famous director he works for takes great pleasure in grabbing him by the knee when they go out together. “But yesterday,” he confided over Margaritas, “she reached a new high.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 Joke: Resisting An Officer The meek-looking man had been hauled into court and now he stood shamefully before his attorney to explain his dilemma. “I was arrested for resisting an officer.” “Resisting an officer?” the lawyer cried in disbelief. “Yes,” said Mr. Stern. “I offered him five and he wanted ten.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 Joke: Mating Season A man was at a zoo and noticed one of the Orangutans dressing up and combing his hair. The man asked the Orangutan, “Why are you getting all dressed up?” The Orangutan answered, “Mating season starts today.” “Orangutans have a mating season?” “Don't Humans have a mating season?” The lonely man responded, “Is anytime I can get it a season?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 Joke: Parked At A Brothel A young man arrives to a club, that most would call a brothel. To his surprise, he finds out his father's car is parked outside. He gets mad and decides to break the windows, puncture the tires, and scratch the bodywork. Next morning he meets his father at breakfast and defiantly the lad asks, "You look terrible, didn’t you have a good time last night?" "Well, son", the father replies sadly, "I am terribly upset. I've found the car totally destroyed, the windows are broken to pieces, the tires are flat, and it is scratched all over... that is the last time I let you mother take my car out at night!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 Joke: I Prayed for You Last Night After conducting a hell-fire revival meeting, the visiting evangelist decided to take a walk one evening and happened to wander into a nearby red-light district. On a corner, he saw a streetwalker leaning against a phone booth. The evangelist stopped and, in a powerful voice, he said, “Woman, I prayed for you last night.” “Well, you could’ve had me if you’d just come around,” she purred. “I was standing right here all night long.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 Joke: Ever Been Bedridden? The young journalist was interviewing a woman who had just reached her hundredth birthday. “To what do you attribute your remarkable good health?” he asked. “Well,” she said, thoughtfully, I’ve always eaten moderately, worked hard, I don’t smoke or drink, and I keep good hours.” “Have you ever been bedridden?” the reporter asked. “Well, sure,” said the elderly lady, “but don’t put that in your paper.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 Joke: Anybody, Anytime, Anywhere A man walks into a bar and sees a good looking smart dressed woman perched on a barstool. He walks up behind her and says, “Hi there, good looking, how’s it going?” She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Listen, I’ll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it.” “No kidding? I’m a lawyer, too! What firm are you with?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 Joke: Super-Sex A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home wearing only a flimsy negligee. As she walked, she would flip up her nightgown at people and say, "Super-sex!" She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Super-sex!" He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2018 Report Share Posted March 6, 2018 Joke: Maybe He Went Fishing A Sunday school teacher was discussing with her class how Noah might have spent his time on the ark. A little girl volunteered, “Maybe he went fishing.” A boy countered, “With only two worms?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2018 Report Share Posted March 6, 2018 Joke: Tight Enough The successful young rock star ordered a very expensive custom-made suit, but was totally dissatisfied with the finished garment. “I told you to make the pants snug,” he furiously remarked to the tailor. “I want them tight enough to show my sex.” “But sir,” the tailor protested, “if they were any tighter, they’d show your religion.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2018 Report Share Posted March 6, 2018 Joke: I’m Going In After It A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for some condoms with insecticide. "I think you mean spermicidal," says the cashier. "No", he says, "I need condoms with insecticide. My wife has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2018 Report Share Posted March 6, 2018 Joke: She Needs Sex 24/7 A guy is at his wits end due to his wife. He makes an appointment with a psychiatrist. “What seems to be the problem, sir?” the doctor asked. “It’s my wife. She needs sex twenty-four seven. I come home she wants to blow me. I go to sleep, she wants to fuck me. What do I do about her?” “Tell her to make an appointment with me immediately,” says the doctor. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: She Needs Sex 24/7 A guy is at his wits end due to his wife. He makes an appointment with a psychiatrist. “What seems to be the problem, sir?” the doctor asked. “It’s my wife. She needs sex twenty-four seven. I come home she wants to blow me. I go to sleep, she wants to fuck me. What do I do about her?” “Tell her to make an appointment with me immediately,” says the doctor. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: The Fourth Time Is A Charm Two colleagues opened an office in a small town and put a sign reading 'Dr. Smith and Dr. Stein, Psychiatry and G2Proctology'. The town council was not pleased with the sign so the doctors changed it to read 'Minds and Behinds'. This was not acceptable either, so they tried again with 'Schizoids and Hemorrhoids'. Not accepted. After a third try of 'Catatonics and High Colonic' was not accepted and they were near wits end, the doctors made one final proposal, which to their eternal relief, the council accepted... 'Dr. Smith and Dr. Stein, Odds and Ends'. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: My Dad Scribbles Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat! My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a 'Sermon' and it takes eight people to collect all the money!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Hairy Underarms A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunken man next to her stares for a few minutes, and then he says, “I love a woman that does aerobics.” The woman replies angrily, “I do not do aerobics!” The man then looks at the woman and says, “Then how did you get your leg up so high?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: How Many Were There? Being married for some time the wife began questioning her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of women before” she said. “How many were there?” The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, but there were more than a couple of women. Let’s just leave it at that.” She continued to plead. Finally, her husband gave in. “Let’s see,” he began, “there was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Most Evil Thing "Cash, check, or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Why'd You Kick Me There? When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was very attracted to him. During her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. "Here" she said, "you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood. Tarzan stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?" "Tarzan check for squirrel!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: On the Couch A bill collector came knocking at the door of a woman who had fallen behind on her bills. “All right, lady,” the bill collector said. “How about the next installment on that couch?” The woman shrugged. “I guess that’s better than having to give you money." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Free Haircut A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment, shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: How Much Further? Two sperms are swimming along after being ejaculated. One turns to the other and says, "I’m exhausted, how much further to the egg?" The other replies, “We’ve got a long way to go yet, we've just past the tonsils!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Find Shum Girls Two intoxicated gentlemen stood at the bar near closing time. “I’ve got an idea,” said one, "lesh have one more drink and then go find us shum girls.” “Naw,” replied the other. “I’ve got more than I can handle at home.” “Great,” replied the idea man. “Lesh have one more drink and go up to your place.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Sorry About the Scare A plane takes off from New York's Kennedy Airport. After it reaches a cruising altitude, Captain Sparks makes an announcement over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 293," he says. "The weather ahead looks clear, so sit back, relax and - OH MY GOD!!!" The intercom falls silent. A minute later, Capt. Sparks comes back on the intercom. "I'm so sorry for scaring you all earlier," he says. "But while I was talking, an attendant spilled a boiling cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" "That's nothing," a passenger in coach shouted. "You should see the back of mine!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Cut Off Two This drunk woman stands up on a bar stool and yells, “I don’t screw anybody unless he’s got a twelve inch penis!" This guy in the corner yells out, “I don’t cut off two inches for anybody!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2018 Report Share Posted March 7, 2018 Joke: Give Up Sex Completely Sam was less than pleased with the doctor’s therapy for the constant fatigue that was plaguing him. “Give up sex completely, Doctor?” he screamed. “I’m a young guy. How can you expect me to just go cold turkey?” “So get married and taper off gradually,” advised the physician. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: The Recurring Nightmare "Doctor, you have to help me!" said the man lying down on the couch. "Every night I have the same horrible dream. I am lying in bed when all of a sudden five women rush in and start tearing of my clothes.” The psychiatrist nodded. “And what do you do?” “I push them away.” “I see. What do you want me to do?” The man implored, “Break my arms!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Anything In Your Hand? My goodness! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand." "That he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?" "Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's tit. And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Anything You Suggest One day, a very attractive undergraduate visited the professor's office. The undergraduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc. Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest." The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?" To which the undergraduate cooed, "Yes, anything you say." After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?" The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then." The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don't you attend that." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Cut Out Wednesday A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests show nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. "Every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can’t," says the woman. "That’s the only night I’m home with my husband." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Don't Need Them For Sex Anymore An elderly gentleman goes to the local drugstore and asks the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist replies, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?" The gentleman answers, "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one into four pieces." "That won’t do you any good," the pharmacist says. "That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over ninety years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Ten Minutes of Grace On the morning of his execution the chaplain visited the prisoner. “They are going to allow you ten minutes of grace," he said. The prisoner shrugged. “That isn’t very long, but what the hell… send her in!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Scoobie Doobie Doo A girl was really flat chested so she went to the doctors and asked him if he had anything to prescribe to her, to help her get bigger breasts. The doctor replied to her,” Everyday when you wake up rub your nipples and say, 'Scobbie Dobbie Doo I wish I had bigger boobs.'” So she went home and kept repeating this procedure each day and her breast really started to grow. So one day she was on the bus and remembered that she forgot to do it that day. So she stood up and started rubbing her nipples and said, "Scobbie Dobbie Doo I Wish I had bigger boobs.” After that a guy walked up to her and said, "Hey, you must go see that new doctor in town?" She said, "Yeah, how did you know?" The guy then stood in front of her, grabbed his crotch, and said, "Hickory Dickory Dock..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Have Any Reservations? A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. "Do you have reservations?" inquires the receptionist. "Only one," replies the groom. "She won't take it up the a...." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Joke: Yours or Hers? A doctor and his wife were out walking when a beautiful woman in tight-fitting halter top and skirt nodded hello from a nearby doorway. “And who was that?” questioned the wife. “Oh, just a young woman I know professionally,” said the doctor, reddening slightly. “I see,” said the wife. “Your profession or hers?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13, 2018 Report Share Posted March 13, 2018 Joke:Exactly 10 Feet and 2.5 Inches “Will you tell the court how far you were from the spot where the shooting occurred?” asked a defense lawyer. “I was exactly ten feet, two-and-one-half inches,” replied the witness. “How can you be sure of the exact distance?” asked the lawyer. “I carefully measured it because I was sure sooner or later some fool would ask that question.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13, 2018 Report Share Posted March 13, 2018 Joke: Sucking My Thumb Once in the middle of the night two little boys got up to get some water from the kitchen. On their way past their parent’s bedroom they heard a funny sound coming out from there. The oldest boy looked into the keyhole. He backed up and said, "I can't believe it!” The younger brother looked in afterwards and said, "And she yells at me for sucking my thumb!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13, 2018 Report Share Posted March 13, 2018 Joke: What's A Contingent Fee? "What is a contingent fee?" asked the potential client. The lawyer took a deep breath and then answered. "A contingent fee to a lawyer means that if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win your suit, you get nothing." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13, 2018 Report Share Posted March 13, 2018 Joke: Let's Eat One Now During camouflage training in Kentucky, a private, disguised as a tree trunk, makes a sudden move and is spotted by a visiting general. "You!" the officer barks. "Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes, sir," the solder answers apologetically. "But, if I may say so, sir, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice and I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger one say, 'Let’s eat one now and save the other until winter,' well that did it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13, 2018 Report Share Posted March 13, 2018 Joke: I Must Have A Drill "Pardon me for a moment, please," said the dentist to the patient. "Everything ok, doc?" asked the patient. "Oh yes, but before beginning this work I must have my drill." "Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably. "Can't you pull a tooth without a rehearsal?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 13, 2018 Report Share Posted March 13, 2018 Joke: Going Straight to Hell Managing to pull himself onto the bus early one morning, the drunk stumbled over passengers, knocked over bags and briefcases, and finally fell into a seat beside a prim old woman. He slumped over her, and she pushed him back. “Mister,” she said indignantly. “I hate to say it, but you are going straight to hell!” Startled, the drunk leapt to his feet. “Goodness, I’m on the wrong bus!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2018 Report Share Posted March 14, 2018 Joke: Always Take Measures A teenage girl confessed, "Mom, I’m pregnant." "How?" huffed the mother. "What did I tell you about sex?" “That I should take measures. Well, that’s what I did! I took measures and went with the biggest." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2018 Report Share Posted March 14, 2018 Joke: It's Been 11 Years "I have not seen my husband for eleven years,” the wife said. “Be patient,” advised the lawyer. “Maybe he has taken up golf.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2018 Report Share Posted March 14, 2018 Joke: Every Breath I Take A lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?” “Really?” the man says. "Yes," she replies. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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