worldangel Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 Joke: A man and his wife were sitting... A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 Joke: The penny scale... After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight. He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and an absolutely great lover in bed!" "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 31, 2018 Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Joke: A guy walks in to the Barbershop... A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, "What will it be today?" Guy says, "Well, I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up." Barber says, "Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that." Guy says, "That’s how you cut it last time" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 31, 2018 Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Joke: Two guys were riding in a car,... Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louieville" and the other "Louiseville." They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant. The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Tell me the name of the place where I am right now really, really, really slowly." The waitress goes, "Bur-ger-King." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 31, 2018 Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Joke: Who Would Steal? The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!" The other partner replied, "What are you worried about? We're both here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 31, 2018 Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Joke: Emergency Call Dad's pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him–lights flashing. Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call. Within seconds, came the police officer's hand in response, dangling a pair of handcuffs out the window. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 31, 2018 Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Joke: Mommy, you are getting fat! When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied ... "but what is growing in your butt?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 Joke: A vampire bat came flapping in... A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good," said the first bat, "Because I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 Joke: A sad-faced Doug walked into a... A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. "And what day will that be?" the clerk asked. Glumly he replied, "Yesterday". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 Joke: I'm lost A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Chips and beer." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 Joke: Off day A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?" "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day off." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 Joke: $5 for a Penguin A guy is walking down the street, and he's really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again. So by this time, he's really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says "Look, I only have five dollars. I'm really horny, and I need a blow-job for 5 dollars!" The guy there says "OK. For five dollars, we can give you a penguin." "What's a penguin?" "You'll see." So, the guy takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom. The horny man unzips his pants, and waits for his "penguin." Soon, a whore comes in and starts giving the guy a blow job. Just as he's about to let loose, she stops and walks away. Now, the horny guy with his pants at his ankles, waddles after her, shouting "HEY! WHAT'S A PENGUIN?!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 Joke: Rowing Your Boat Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 Joke: One night, as a couple lay ... One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 Joke: A guy was in a cave, looking for ... A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 Joke: Two very elderly men were having ... Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?" To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?' "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 Joke: Still premature! David had been suffering from premature ejaculation for years and his wife coaxed him to finally go to a hospital for treatment. David got admitted and underwent an operation. His wife rang up the hospital to find out if the operation was a success, and the doctor informed her, "I'm sorry but it's still touch and go!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 4, 2018 Report Share Posted November 4, 2018 Joke: Three very tough mice Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness. The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!" The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!" Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 4, 2018 Report Share Posted November 4, 2018 Joke: Bubba and Billy were driving down ... Bubba and Billy were driving down the road while drinking beer when they spotted a roadblock ahead. "We're gonna get busted," whimpered Billy. "Don't worry," said Bubba. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads and then toss the bottles under the seat. Just let me do the talking." They downed the beer, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the police officer asked, "You boys been drinking?" "No, sir," said Bubba, pointing at the labels. "Me and Billy are on the patch." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 4, 2018 Report Share Posted November 4, 2018 Joke: Cute little vase... A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beet red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh . . . I . . ." She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 4, 2018 Report Share Posted November 4, 2018 Joke: Stock market turnaround Jack: The Stock market did an incredible turnaround yesterday. Sam: Really? Jack: Yep. A stock broker, who jumped out of the window of his sixteenth floor office, saw a computer monitor on the eleventh floor and did a U-turn. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 4, 2018 Report Share Posted November 4, 2018 Joke: Do not disturb A hillbilly named Billy Bob checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. After a few minutes, he calls the desk and say, "My room does not have any exit. How do I get out?" The reception clerk replied, "Sir, that's ridiculous. Have you looked for the door?" Billy Bob says, "Well, there is one door to the bathroom. There's a second door to the closet. And there's another door which I have not tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: Farmer in city Joey, a farmer from the country, went to the big bad city to see the sights. He inquired with the hotel's clerk about the time of meals. "Breakfast is served from 7 to 10, lunch from 12 to 3, and dinner from 6 to 8," explained the clerk. "Look here," inquired Joey in surprise, "When will I get time to explore the city?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: A sweet little boy surprised his ... A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip, she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup. She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?" Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: Fear of alligators .... While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted," Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy," How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: Victim of imagination Michael was a victim of his imagination and suffered from diseases that did not exist. One day, he staggered into the house bent forward, looking for a chair, and still curled into a half-moon shape, dropped into it. While struggling to breathe, he said "Jane, it has hit me at last. It came without a warning. All of a sudden, I found I could not straighten up. I can't even raise my head." When the doctor came to see Michael, his wife asked the doctor, "Will he survive?" "Well" the doctor said, "it certainly would be a great help if he will unhitch the second buttonhole of his vest from the top button of his trousers." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: Spare the rod A man whose wife had just given birth to their first child was visiting the hospital nursery to see his new son. As the proud father was admiring his handsome baby through the glass partition, he could not help but notice that the baby in the next bassinet seemed frail and sickly looking by comparison. Just then a nurse went walking by and the man stopped her for a moment. "What's the matter with that little fellow?" he asked. "He seems awfully puny and underweight." "He's one of those artificial insemination babies," explained the nurse, and he's been coming along rather slowly, I'm afraid." "Well, that sort of confirms a theory of mine," said the man. "What's that?" asked the nurse. The man replied with a smile., ... "Spare the rod and spoil the child." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: At the public pool The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool. "Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool." "Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: Death In The Family One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. The blonde said, "I just got off of the phone with my sister. Her mother died too!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: A wife woke in the middle of the night ... A wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up in the corner, of the basement,... crying like a baby. "Honey, what's wrong?", she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant and your father threatened me to either marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released from jail this afternoon!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: Doctor.... One day an old lady walked into the doctor's office and was shown into a room. When the doctor came in and asked what the problem was, she answered, "I have awful gas, but it doesn't bother me. You see, it's completely silent and doesn't smell at all." The doctor, after examining her thoroughly, gave her some pills and told her to take one everyday and come back in a week. The lady returned, and when the doctor asked if her problem was any better she replied, "Well I don't know what you gave me, but now my gas smells terrible!" The doctor replied, "Well, now that we've got your sinuses cleared up let's work on your hearing!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joke: A truck driver is driving along... A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Joke: Two cows.... Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Ah, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Joke: Sleeping student The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbour yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Joke: Coffee drinker A blonde says to a brunette, "Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt." The brunette says, "Well, maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Joke: Good news and bad news... A doctor enters into a patient's room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear. The patient responds, "Doctor, give me the good news." The doctor says, "Well we are gonna name a disease after you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Joke: There was a student who was desirous ... There was a student who was desirous of taking admission for a study course. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy. "Tell me your choice;" said he to the boy, "What's your choice: I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind." The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real difficult question." "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?" The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: "It's the DAY, sir." "How???????" the interviewer was smiling ("At last, I got you!" he said to himself.) "Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" Admission for the course was thus secured. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 12, 2018 Report Share Posted November 12, 2018 Joke: Old Ladies and the Flasher Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by and opens his trench coat right in front of them. The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady can't reach that far. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 12, 2018 Report Share Posted November 12, 2018 Joke: A fellow bought a new Mercedes... A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the Yellow head for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him. "What in heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The Mountie came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give mean excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go." "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice night", said the officer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 12, 2018 Report Share Posted November 12, 2018 Joke: A doctor and a lawyer were attending ... A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and remarked, 'I never know how to handle the situation when I'm asked for medical advice during a social function. Is it acceptable to send a bill for such advice?' The lawyer replied that it was certainly acceptable to do so. The next day, the doctor sent the ulcer-stricken man a bill. The lawyer also sent one to the doctor. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 12, 2018 Report Share Posted November 12, 2018 Joke: Tough times A group of friends get together every Friday after work for a drink. One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. He then turned to his pal Bob and said: "Times are getting tough, my friend. Earlier today my wife told me she's going to cut me back to only two times a week. I can't believe it!" "You think you've got it bad?" Bob retorted: "She's cut some of us guys out altogether!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 12, 2018 Report Share Posted November 12, 2018 Joke: Lost in snow Gina got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it". Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric227 Posted November 12, 2018 Report Share Posted November 12, 2018 When I went to this section I remembered the song... Don't worry - be happy) nostalgia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Joke: Language Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Bronx Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can't get them back in their cages. Finally he says, "Quick, call a lawyer!" "A lawyer? Why??" "We need someone who speaks their language!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Joke: You Are A Chicken A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?" "Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Joke: Shooting The Bull Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Joke: Material Damage A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car. Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer! You yuppies are so materialistic, its ridiculous retorted the officer. You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off. Oh, my Goodness! screamed the yuppie, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. My Rolex! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Joke: A lady is walking down the street ... A lady is walking down the street to work and see's a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "hey lady." She paused and said," yes?" The bird said, "you know." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 14, 2018 Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 Joke: Little Johnny returns from school ... Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6.'" "But that's right!" The father replied. "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What the heck's the stupid difference?" asked the father. "That's what I said!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 14, 2018 Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 Joke: Just what you wanted to hear A well-endowed adolescent girl has severe cold and goes to see a doctor for examination. The doctor who was standing behind the girl, leaned over her shoulder with a stethoscope to his ears and said, "Big breaths". The young girl, hesitated for a moment, and then replied, "I know, and to think I'm only 13!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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