worldangel Posted July 6, 2019 Report Share Posted July 6, 2019 Joke: For two solid hours, the lady ... For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. "Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 6, 2019 Report Share Posted July 6, 2019 Joke: Once there was a man with an ... Once there was a man with an extremely large penis, but, unfortunately, he also had a terrible stuttering problem, so he could never get a girlfriend. So he went to the doctor one day and said to him that he wanted something done about his stutter. The doctor replied that he would have to take off his penis to relieve him of the stutter. After a while the man agreed and had his penis removed. After the operation he was a smooth talker, but now he couldn't get laid because he had no penis. So he returned to the doctor and tells him he would like to have his penis back, because he has a better chance of getting laid with a stutter than with no penis. The doctor replies, "S-s-sorry s-s-sir, b-b-but I c-c-can't d-d-do th-th-that." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2019 Report Share Posted July 8, 2019 Joke: The Horny Skeleton What did the dead-tired skeleton wife say to her way horny skeleton husband when he was getting way to close for comfort in their coffin? "Honey, I know you're just dying to get in, but sorry I have a skull-splitting headache tonight!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2019 Report Share Posted July 8, 2019 (edited) Joke: I Will Ask Jonah A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales, and stated that a whale swallowed Jonah. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, it's throat was very small. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him." Edited July 8, 2019 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2019 Report Share Posted July 8, 2019 Joke: His Small Yellow Dog A man was having a drink in a bar. Beside him was his small yellow dog. Soon another man with a dog came in. This man had a large pit bull and taunted the first man to have the dogs scrap outside for $50. Finally, the man with the small yellow dog agreed. They went outside and the small dog completely pulverized the pit bull. After paying the $50 the owner of the pit bull asked what kind of dog the yellow dog was. The winner said, "Before I cut off his tail and painted him yellow, he was an alligator." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2019 Report Share Posted July 8, 2019 Joke: Finding A Pure Girl A man was searching for a pure wife. He dated many ladies and when they went to bed, he would show them his penis and ask each, "What is this?" Each came back with the standard sexual answer of "love shaft" or "johnson" and he thought each knew too much about sex and rejected every one. Finally, he found a girl who passed his test. He asked what it was and she said "I'm not sure, I think it's called a wee-wee?" Finally, he had found his perfect woman. He marries her and on their honey moon he thought he should tell her the sexual term for his penis. "Honey," he began, "you should know this his called a cock." "Oh no," replied his bride, "I have seen plenty of cocks and believe me that's a wee-wee!" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2019 Report Share Posted July 8, 2019 Joke: Not Exactly True A young couple, on the brink of divorce, visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife, “What’s the problem?” She responds, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.” The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, “Is that true?” The husband replies, “Well not exactly, she is the one that suffers, not me.” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 9, 2019 Report Share Posted July 9, 2019 Joke: Babysitting Logic One evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around. "Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den. "Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!" "Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said. "You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4½) replied. "Why not?" the grandmother asked. Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 9, 2019 Report Share Posted July 9, 2019 Joke: Customer Is Right I was waiting tables at a country club when an elegantly dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin. Having plenty of experience with getting out food stains, I asked, "Can I bring you some club soda?" "Young lady," she barked, "I'll be the judge of when I've had enough to drink. Bring me another martini!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 9, 2019 Report Share Posted July 9, 2019 Joke: Stick To The Plan I was observing two men that were working for the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. After a while I had to ask, "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 9, 2019 Report Share Posted July 9, 2019 Joke: Did You Remember? A married couple were enjoying a luxury South Sea cruise until their liner was shipwrecked and they were washed ashore on a desert island, the only survivors. Day after day, they looked hopefully out to sea in the hope of spotting a passing vessel but none came. As boredom set in, they started to think about their home back in Arizona. The wife asked, “Did you remember to pay the final installment on the Chevrolet before we came away?” “No, honey, I clean forgot. Sorry.” ”Did you remember to pay the electric bill before we left home?” “No, I completely forgot. Sorry.” ”Did you remember to pay the gas bill?” ”Do you know, that slipped my mind, too. Sorry.” “And did you remember to pay the six-monthly tax bill?” ”I knew there was something important I had to do. I’m really sorry honey.” ”Well, at least there’s one good thing,” sighed the wife. “What’s that?” ”They’ll find us.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 9, 2019 Report Share Posted July 9, 2019 Joke: Put It Back There A robber walks into a store. He waits until he is alone in the store with the manager. Then pulls out a gun. “Okay,” he says, pointing the pistol at the trembling man, “go over to the cash register and give me all the money. “All right,” says the man, “All right. I’ll do anything you say. Just please don’t hurt me.” After the manager has emptied the cash register the crook says, “Okay, pull your pants down and bend over.” “Oh, no,” says the man, “not that!" "Just do it,” says the robber. The manager drops his pants, and the crook proceeds to have his way with him. When the robber is finished, he tells the man to turn around. The thief says, “Okay, just one more thing before I leave. Give me a blowjob.” “No! No! Please, not that! Oh please, no!” The crook puts the gun to the man’s temple and says, “Do it.” So, the guy gets down on his knees and begins giving the robber a blowjob. After a few minutes the thief starts getting carried away and starts moaning and waving his hands around in the air above his head. The manager suddenly stops and says to the crook, “Say, could you please put than gun back up to my head in case one of my friends walks in?” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 10, 2019 Report Share Posted July 10, 2019 Joke: Come And Eat With Us Little Johnny was playing in his yard when his next door neighbour drove by pulling a trailer. He asks what did he have in the trailler? "Manure," the neighbour replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked Little Johnny "Put it on my strawberries," answered the farmer. Little Johnny replied, "You ought to come and eat with us, we put ice-cream on our strawberries." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 10, 2019 Report Share Posted July 10, 2019 Joke: Promotion to Montreal Boss: Congratulations! I'm promoting you to manage our Montreal office! Young man (disappointed): But sir! There's nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players. Boss (now insulted): I'll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal! Young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 10, 2019 Report Share Posted July 10, 2019 Joke: New iPhone My daughter wants the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will if she gets good grades, does her chores and follows the house rules. Otherwise, she will get a cheaper phone because... It’s my way or the other brand ... Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 10, 2019 Report Share Posted July 10, 2019 Joke: School Teacher in Court When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 10, 2019 Report Share Posted July 10, 2019 Joke: Lost Baggage After returning from a trip overseas, my luggage did not show up in the airport baggage area. Being a frequent flyer I knew the drill and went to the lost luggage office. I told the woman there that my bags hadn't shown up on the carousel. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and that I was in good hands. "Now," she asked, "has your plane arrived yet?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 11, 2019 Report Share Posted July 11, 2019 Joke: Elephants Have Great Memories A friend of mine went on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant. It's lying on the ground in distress. He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot. He removes it and the elephant happily trots away. Twenty years later we were in London on business and were watching a circus procession pass by. When along comes an elephant, as it gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk and lift him into the air and smashes him into the ground. It was a different elephant. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 11, 2019 Report Share Posted July 11, 2019 Joke: Chess With My Dog Me: I taught my dog to play chess. Friend: He must be very smart? Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 11, 2019 Report Share Posted July 11, 2019 Joke: Standing On the Rooftop Two guys are standing on a rooftop. The first one looked down and asked, "Hey, if I jump down from here, how long do you think it would take me to reach the ground?" Second one then also looked down and said, "Well, it's pretty high up here. I think it would take at least five days!" "Really? Okay, here's another one," continues the first. "Do you think if I would die after I jump?" "Of course, you would, five days! How could you survive that long without water?!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 11, 2019 Report Share Posted July 11, 2019 Joke: Back To School After raising four kids and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the degree I had started but never finished. And so, on my first day of college, eager with anticipation, and more than a little nervous, I took a front row seat in my first class in over 40 years ... a literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books over the course of the semester, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. He ambled over to the lectern, took out a paper, and began: "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student behind me whispered, "Slow down... he's just taking attendance." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 11, 2019 Report Share Posted July 11, 2019 Joke: Modern Day Discipline On day when returning home from work my wife proceeded to tell me that she had been called into the principal's office because of the things OUR SON had done at school that day. We agreed that he should be disciplined the same was I was disciplined when I was his age: being sent to my room without supper. But in my son's room, he has his own colour TV, telephone, computer, and CD player. So, what is a parent to do in this day and age? We sent him to MY room! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 14, 2019 Report Share Posted July 14, 2019 Joke: Downward Progression THINGS THAT IS DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive- aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Nope, no more beer for me. 2. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 3. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 14, 2019 Report Share Posted July 14, 2019 Joke: Two Steps Back Little Johnny turns up late for school one day and his teacher asks why. Little Johnny responds, "It's snowing heavily outside, so every time I took one step forward, I slipped two steps back." "Well, how did you make it to school then?" Little Johnny sighs, "I got fed up, so I turned to go home." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 14, 2019 Report Share Posted July 14, 2019 Joke: The Bandaged Man A man was lying in a hospital, covered in bandages from head to toe. The guy in the next bed said, ”What do you do for a living?” The bandaged man replied, “I used to be a window cleaner.” “Oh, when did you give that up?” “About halfway down.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 14, 2019 Report Share Posted July 14, 2019 Joke: The Clock A man showed some friends his apartment. One guest asked, "What's that big brass basin for?" "That's the talking clock," answered the man. He gave it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer. Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off! Don't you know that it's 2:00 A.M.!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 14, 2019 Report Share Posted July 14, 2019 Joke: Late Husband A man and a woman were going at it on the sofa when the phone rang. "Who was that?" the guy asked. "My husband," she replied. "Damn, I better get going then," the guy said. "Where was he when he phoned?" "You can relax," said the woman. "He's downtown playing poker with you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 15, 2019 Report Share Posted July 15, 2019 Joke: Future Career A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked. “What’s wrong with lawyers?” “Well, Dad,” explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd and shout frantically, ‘Is there a lawyer in the house?’” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 15, 2019 Report Share Posted July 15, 2019 Joke: Refrigerator Girl A young woman is visiting her parents. While helping her mother fix dinner, she opens the refrigerator. On the inside of the door, she sees a spicy picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built young woman. "What's this about, Mom?" she asks. "Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat," the mother answers. "Is it working?" her daughter asks. "Yes and no," her mom replies. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 15, 2019 Report Share Posted July 15, 2019 Joke: No Children Or Grandchildren At their high school reunion, Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years. Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children: "My son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?" Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either." Sarah says, "No children and no grandchildren... so tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 15, 2019 Report Share Posted July 15, 2019 Joke: Are You Honest? An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. "Mr. Cohen," she says, "would you say you’re honest?" "Honest?" replies Mr. Cohen. "Let me tell you something about honesty. My father lent me $75,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case." "Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" "Dad sued me for the money." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 15, 2019 Report Share Posted July 15, 2019 Joke: Perfect Spouse A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?" "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman: "Buy a television." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: Little Johnny Goes Fishing Little Johnny's father took him on a fishing trip to Canada. On returning home after catching only three fish his father says, "The way I figure it each fish cost us $400!" Little Johnny replied, "Well, at that price it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more of them than we did." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: The Homeless Guy Seeing a homeless guy begging on the street, a woman took pity on him and gave him a handful of change. “Thank you,” said the homeless man. “Your generosity is much appreciated. You know my life used to be great, but just look at the state of me now.” “How do you mean?” asked the woman. “Well,” he explained. “I was a multi-millionaire. I had bank accounts all over the world with hundreds of thousands of dollars deposited in each.” “So where did it all go wrong?” she asked. The homeless man sighed, “I forgot my mother’s maiden name.” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: Worth Of A Gas Cap A man walked up to the counter of an auto-part store. "Excuse me," he said, "I'd like to get a new gas cap for my Yugo." "Sure," the clerk replied. "Sounds like a fair exchange to me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: Work Evaluations Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she or he keeps cranking out. A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused. EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together. SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life. CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared. METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker. DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice. JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky. KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes. blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: Health Exam During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week, in the outdoors. "Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered, so I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine." Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!" "No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really bad golfer!" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: Second Notice A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice. "Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: Soccer Hooligan A soccer hooligan is charged with disorderly conduct and assault after a match. The arresting officer states that the accused had thrown something into the river not far from the stadium. “What exactly did the accused throw into the river?” the judge asks. “Stones, sir,” the officer replies. The judge is confused. “Well, that’s hardly an offense, officer.” “It was in this case, sir,” the officer explains. “Stones was the name of the referee.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: My Third Wish Genie: OK, I'm ready for your third wish. Me: Third? What about the first two? Genie: Well, this is a little unusual, but after your first wish, you screamed like a madman and said "I wish I'd never made that wish!" So that counted as your second wish, and I erased your memory of both of them. Me: Well, OK. I wish I really understood how women think. Genie: Granted. By the way, that was your first wish, too. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: Held Hostage Two music lovers were being held hostage and both were going to be shot. One of them was a country music lover and the other enjoyed all types of music. Before they were shot they were asked for one last request before they died. The country music lover said, "I would like to listen to 'Achy Breaky Heart' 50 times in a row..." The other music lover said, "Please, shoot me first!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 23, 2019 Report Share Posted July 23, 2019 Joke: The Nature of Proof A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little man in amazement. "Can you tell me in your own words what happened?" he asked the little man. "I'm a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof," said the little man. "Yes, go on," said the astounded judge. "Well. I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and went to take them out. They told me my library card had expired and I had to get a new one. I went to the registration office and got in another line. I filled out my forms for another card. I got back in line for my card." "And?" said the judge. "And the clerk asked me, 'Can you prove you're from New York City?'" "What happened next?" the judge asked. "I punched him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 24, 2019 Report Share Posted July 24, 2019 Joke: A Good Girl and A Nice Girl What's the difference between a good girl and a nice girl? A nice girl goes out on a date, goes home, and goes to bed. A good girl goes out on a date, goes to bed, and then goes home. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 24, 2019 Report Share Posted July 24, 2019 Joke: His Thingy Is Out A farmer and his pet rooster went everywhere together. One day they went to a movie and as the farmer got close to the ticket window, the clerk said, "I'm sorry but you can't take animals into the theater." The man looked sad and said, "But this is my pet rooster, Clucky. He goes wherever I go." "Oh, I understand. But if that is the case, you should not come in either." The farmer sighed and said, "Well this time I will leave him in the truck!” So, the farmer went around the corner and stuffed Clucky down his pants. He then went back, got his ticket, went into the theatre, and sat down next to two old ladies. About halfway through the movie Clucky started struggling so the farmer unzipped his pants to let him stick his head out. The first old lady saw this and turned to her friend and whispered, "Patsy, you’re not going to believe this but the man next to me has just unzipped his pants and let his thing out!" Patsy turned to her friend and said, "Well just ignore him. Besides, at our age, we've seen plenty." "Well, normally I would agree with you, but this one is eating my popcorn!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 24, 2019 Report Share Posted July 24, 2019 Joke: Go Get Your Maw A rural Kentucky family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!" While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your Maw." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 24, 2019 Report Share Posted July 24, 2019 Joke: Speeding Again My new neighbour, Hans, just moved to the states from Norway and was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer, "I saw a big sign with 66 on it." "That's highway 66," the officer said disgustedly. Hans replied, "You should have seen me yesterday on Highway 110!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 24, 2019 Report Share Posted July 24, 2019 Joke: Words In My Mouth There was a guy that got married and decided to get a tattoo on his penis. The tattoo he got said "I LOVE YOU". A couple of days later his wife tells him she wants a divorce and he asks why? Then she said, "Because you're putting words into my mouth!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 25, 2019 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Joke: Tastes Like Orange An inventor, looking for a loan, told his banker that he’d discovered a remarkable substance that brushed lightly over a lady’s p*ssy, would give it an orange flavour. “No good,” the banker responded, after some though. “But if you can invent something to put into an orange that will make it taste like p*ssy, you can have your loan and we’ll both get rich!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 25, 2019 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Joke: Footloose The giddy dame decided to put her cards on the table. She snuck up to the playboy at the bar and whispered, “I’m footloose.” He looked her over carefully and said, “The rest of you can stand tightening too.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 25, 2019 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Joke: My Husband Is A Racehorse A man decides that he is a racehorse, so his wife puts him in the nuthouse. A few weeks late the doctor at the asylum calls the wife and tells her to come get her husband. "Is he cured?" asks the wife. The doctor says, “No, but he broke his leg today on the fifth race, so he is putting himself out to stud.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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