worldangel Posted September 27, 2019 Report Share Posted September 27, 2019 Joke: Mellowing mother... I have five siblings . . . three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from her first child to her last. She told me she really had mellowed quite a lot over the years . . . "When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 28, 2019 Report Share Posted September 28, 2019 Joke: Really Lazy Two lazy-bones are fast asleep. A thief comes in, pulls the blanket from the bed, and makes off with it. One of them is aware of what happened and says to the other, "Get up! Go after the guy who stole our blanket!" The other responds, "Forget it. When he comes back to take the mattress, let's grab him then." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 28, 2019 Report Share Posted September 28, 2019 Joke: Why She Failed Me My history teacher gave me an “F” for a final grade. When I asked her why she failed me she said, “I didn’t fail you. You failed yourself.” I said, “In that case, I think I’m going to change my grade.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 28, 2019 Report Share Posted September 28, 2019 Joke: Checking On Husband Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late? Wife #2: Well, every time he would come home, I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?' Wife #1: But I still don't understand. How did that kept him from staying out? Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew... Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 28, 2019 Report Share Posted September 28, 2019 Joke: Ad Response One shop owner asks another, "So, have you had any responses to your ad that you're looking for a night watchman?" "Yeah, we got robbed last night." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 28, 2019 Report Share Posted September 28, 2019 Joke: Money For the Man Little Johnny rushes inside, out of breath and shouts, "Mother! Mother! Give me some money for the poor old man that's shouting along the road!" His mother replies, "What is he shouting?" "Ice creams! Come get your ice cream..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 28, 2019 Report Share Posted September 28, 2019 Joke: Hearing Aids A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn’t want to spend a lot of money. “How much do they cost?” he asked the salesman. “Anywhere from $2 to $2,000.” “Can I see the $2 model?” said the customer. The salesman put the device around the man’s neck and said, “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket.” “How does it work?” asked the customer. “For $2, it doesn’t work,” said the salesman. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 29, 2019 Report Share Posted September 29, 2019 Joke: Things Mother Said THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!" ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?" ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? OH! Styling gel, Mousse, Something...?" COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, You still could have written!" MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 29, 2019 Report Share Posted September 29, 2019 Joke: Are You A Mite? A fly feels a bug on its back. "Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?" the fly asks. "I 'might' be," giggles the mite. "That's the worst pun I've ever heard," groans the fly. "What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly..." shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 29, 2019 Report Share Posted September 29, 2019 Joke: Bank Withdrawal I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said, "I'd like large bills, please." She looked at me, confused, and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 29, 2019 Report Share Posted September 29, 2019 Joke: Mating Season A man was at a zoo and noticed one of the orangutans dressing up and combing his hair. The man asked the orangutan, “Why are you getting all dressed up?” The orangutan answered, “Mating season starts today.” “Orangutans have a mating season?” “Don't humans have a mating season?” The lonely man responded, “Is 'anytime I can get it' a season?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 29, 2019 Report Share Posted September 29, 2019 Joke: New Remote Control A new remote control for your television was being developed that enables the truly lazy to surf channels while moving even less muscles than before. The new device totally eliminates the need to stretch your arm that little bit more from your couch, to get the remote directly in front of the TV. Now the only muscle you need to move is your finger. This is just one more step to inventing technologies that turn people into furniture, and their brains into Jell-O. The company spokesman indicated it wanted to refine the product even more by making it thought-controlled, thereby completely removing the need for any sort of muscle movement at all, but this wouldn't work because it has been discovered that most TV addicts are completely incapable of any kind of thought at all. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 30, 2019 Report Share Posted September 30, 2019 Joke: Looking Good My face in the mirror isn’t wrinkled or drawn. My house isn’t dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn. I think I might never put my glasses back on. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 30, 2019 Report Share Posted September 30, 2019 Joke: Three Simple Requests Mary's list for the throughout the ages... What I Want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head) 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 1. Not too ugly (bald head OK) 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52) 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62) 1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72) 1. Breathing 2. Doesn't miss the toilet. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 30, 2019 Report Share Posted September 30, 2019 Joke: Do You Have Cable? I met this girl in a bar, and one thing lead to another. I said, "Let's go back to my place." She said, "Oh, do you have cable?" I said, "No, but I have some old ropes that should hold just fine." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 30, 2019 Report Share Posted September 30, 2019 Joke: Having My Ass Bleached Two women having lunch together are discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.” The second woman says, “Oh that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my ass bleached.” To which the first replies, “Whoa! I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde.” shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 30, 2019 Report Share Posted September 30, 2019 Joke: The Latex Factory Tour A tour group is being guided through a factory that manufactures all types of rubber products, everything from tires to rubber bands. The highlight of the tour is watching the latex condoms being peeled off the penis-shape molds, rolled up, and slipped into foil packets. The guests are surprised, however, to notice that every so often, before the condoms are packaged, a man with a pin takes a random rubber off the assembly line and pokes a tiny hole in it. One of the visitors cries out in shock to the tour guide, “Hey, why is he doing that? Don’t they know that those pinholes will cause thousands of unwanted pregnancies?” “Yeah,” says the tour guide, “but just think of what it does for our ‘nipple’ division!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 1, 2019 Report Share Posted October 1, 2019 Joke: My kids love going to the Web... My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. "Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 1, 2019 Report Share Posted October 1, 2019 Joke: A young child walked up to her... A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; "Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?" The mother paused and looked at her daughter. "Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey." The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. "Mother?" She sweetly asked again. "Yes?" Her Mother replied. "Why is Grandma's hair all grey?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 1, 2019 Report Share Posted October 1, 2019 Joke: Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good... Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good ole boys from Carolina, were sitting' on the front porch drinking beer when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by. "I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery," said Bubba. "Do what?" asked Johnny Ray. "Send my grass out to be mowed," answered Bubba. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 1, 2019 Report Share Posted October 1, 2019 Joke: A chicken and an egg are lying... A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!" shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 1, 2019 Report Share Posted October 1, 2019 Joke: Three old men were sitting around ... Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again." The 85 year old said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it's still a problem." Then the 90 year-old said, "That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00 am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am I have a great bowel movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7:00 am. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 2, 2019 Report Share Posted October 2, 2019 Joke: A young child walked up to her... A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; "Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?" The mother paused and looked at her daughter. "Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey." The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. "Mother?" She sweetly asked again. "Yes?" Her Mother replied. "Why is Grandma's hair all grey?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 2, 2019 Report Share Posted October 2, 2019 Joke: The Shopping Criminal It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 2, 2019 Report Share Posted October 2, 2019 Joke: Jury selection... An important and very well publicized murder trial was soon to begin. In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process took place, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question session. He was asked, "Property holder?" Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor." Then he was asked, "Married or single?" Dan responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor." Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opinion?" Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 2, 2019 Report Share Posted October 2, 2019 Joke: New savings account... Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. "It's your account, Darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.' After a slight hesitation, she put down, 'Piggy.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 2, 2019 Report Share Posted October 2, 2019 Joke: Proud Of Daddy Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 3, 2019 Report Share Posted October 3, 2019 Joke: Don't Touch Mine A little boy and girl were in a bath tub taking a bath. The girl starts getting a little curious and reaches out to touch the little boy's penis. The little boy pushes her hand out of the way and says, “Hey! Don’t touch mine, you already broke yours." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 3, 2019 Report Share Posted October 3, 2019 Joke: Did You Come on the Bus? Two older women meet at bingo. "You're late this week Ethel," says one woman to the other. "Did you come on the bus?" "Yes," replied Ethel, "but I managed to pass it off as an asthma attack!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 3, 2019 Report Share Posted October 3, 2019 Joke: A guy goes to a girl's house .. A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He goes, "Geez...oooh....I..." She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 3, 2019 Report Share Posted October 3, 2019 Joke: One day, a Mechanical Engineer... One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 3, 2019 Report Share Posted October 3, 2019 Joke: You Think It's Rigged? A private eye is showing Stanley movies of Mrs. Stanley in bed with other men. She's on the beach, at a football game during halftime, and all kinds of crazy places doing just about everything. After viewing all this Stanley says, “I refuse to believe it!” The private eye rather mortified says, “What? You think I rigged the evidence?” Stanley says, “No, of course not. I just can’t believe my wife could be so much fun." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 4, 2019 Report Share Posted October 4, 2019 Joke: Group of biologists A group of biologists are traveling in a truck to conduct some research in a hilly region, when the driver loses control of the vehicle. The truck overturns and runs down the hills, crashing at the bottom & killing all the biologists. All of them arrive in Heaven. They are all asked a question, "If you are in your casket and you could hear your friends and family mourning about your death, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy who is a good botanist says, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the best botanists of all time, and left an eternal contribution to the world of botany." The second guy who is an ornithologist, says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful birder and made a huge difference in the recovery of our bird populations." The third guy, who is a scruffy mammalogist, replies, "I would like to hear them say... 'LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!' " Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 4, 2019 Report Share Posted October 4, 2019 Joke: A blonde and a redhead met in ... A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, 'I'll take that bet!' Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said 'I can't take this, you're my friend.' The blonde said 'No. A bet's a bet'. So the redhead said 'Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money'. The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 4, 2019 Report Share Posted October 4, 2019 Joke: While attending a marriage seminar ... While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to the instructor. It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. He addressed the man, can you describe your wife’s favorite flower? Jack leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, It's Pillsbury isn’t it? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 4, 2019 Report Share Posted October 4, 2019 Joke: One day this fellow noticed that ... One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me", our man stammered, "but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is." "Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbor replied. "Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts." The burly gorilla is about to deck our poor guy when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments. Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside. "OK," the husband says gruffly, "for ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife's breasts." At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. Our man takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. "Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growls. "I can't." replies our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling away. "Why not?" demands the husband, getting really angry now. "I don't have ten thousand dollars." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 4, 2019 Report Share Posted October 4, 2019 Joke: Jinx After 35 years of marriage, Bernie is lying on his deathbed. With a tear in his eye, he says, "Annabelle, before I die, I have to tell you something. The first year we were together, I caught pneumonia and almost died. You sat by my bed and nursed me back to health." She nods her head solemnly as he continues. "And when I lost half my family in a car crash, you were by my side. When our children grew up and left our home, you sat with me. And when I lost everything in the fire at the store, you were right by my side the whole time. Annabelle, you've always been there through all the bad times." "Yes, I have," says Annabelle. "So before I die, I just want you to know: You're a fucking jinx!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 5, 2019 Report Share Posted October 5, 2019 Joke: The female dormitory will be ... The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory will be off-limits to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 5, 2019 Report Share Posted October 5, 2019 Joke: A man was walking down the beach... A man was walking down the beach when he noticed a cave. He walked in and looked around only to discover a magic lamp buried in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie came out and said, " You may have 3 wishes but whatever u wish for all the lawyers in the world will get double." The man agreed and said, " i want a million dollers." He got that and the lawyers got 2 million. Next he said, " I want a Ferrari." So, he got one and all the lawyers got 2. Next, being his last wish, he took a minute and thought about it carefully. Finally he said," Well I've always wanted to give a kidney." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 5, 2019 Report Share Posted October 5, 2019 Joke: Hypothetically Speaking A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!" The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!" He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 5, 2019 Report Share Posted October 5, 2019 Joke: The robbery.... Two friends, Jim and Paul are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on, Jim slips something into Paul's hand. Without looking down, Paul whispers, "What is this?" Jim replies, "It's that $50 I owe you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 5, 2019 Report Share Posted October 5, 2019 Joke: Undercover Detective A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?" "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day off." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Joke: Can I take his place? An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place." The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Joke: Princess & a frog Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast a spell upon me." "One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am, and then my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, on a meal of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought, "I don't fu#ken think so!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Joke: Harmonica... "Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," little Joshua said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best present I ever got." "That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?" "Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Joke: Charge By The Inch Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side. An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey ! How about it babe? You and me?" As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars." She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Joke: A lady about 8 months pregnant... A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused when on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said: "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said: "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident".. I just lost it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Joke: Failed Safety Quiz Little Johnny comes home from school and tells his dad that he failed the safety quiz. Dad: What? How? Little Johnny: I missed the only question Dad: What was the question? Little Johnny: What steps do we take in case of fire? Dad: And what did you say? Little Johnny: Well I said really large ones but apparently that's not right answer!!! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Joke: How Long? A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do whatever I want?" The father answered immediately, "I don't know. Nobody has lived that long yet." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Joke: Red Hair Baby The gynaecologist is surprised to see one of his patient’s husbands in his waiting room. “What can I do for you Mr. Doyle?” the doctor asks. “I’m worried because our new baby has red hair.” “Why is that such a concern?” “I have black hair, my wife has black hair and all four of our parents have black hair.” “How often do you have sex?” asks the doctor. “Oh, I guess about twice a year,” Doyle says, sheepishly. “That explains it,” says the doctor. “The red hair is from rust.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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