Be Happy :)

[worldangel]

Joke: Forget My Wife  

Two guys, one a senior and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy. “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”

The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”

The old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.”

 

[worldangel]

Joke: The Right Word  

A man goes to the doctor's and says, “I would I like to get castrated". The doctor tries to convince him but the man won't listen. All he keeps on saying is, "I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated!”

The doctor says, "Your life will be changed after this operation. Do you still want to go ahead?"

“Yes!"

After a few hours the man is walking in the hospital with a walking stick in his hand and legs apart. He meets another man walking the same way. He says to the other guy, “So even you got the operation done?"

The other man replied, "Yeah after 37 years of my life, I felt that it would be much better to get circumcised."

"Crap. That’s the word!"

 

[worldangel]

 Joke: High Fence

Tire of having to stare at the gorgeous young kitten on the other side of the chain link fence, bold Spot Tomcat decide to visit her one afternoon.

Settling back on his haunches, he gave a mighty leap and landed on the other side. Impressed, the lovely cat strolled over. “That was quite a leap,” she remarked. “Want to go somewhere and cuddle?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Spot, a hurt expression on his face. “The fence was higher that I thought.”

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Eyes Pop Out  

A BMW asks a VW Beetle, "Why do your eyes pop out of your body like that?"

The beetle replied, "Let them stick an engine up your ass and see what happens to your eyes!"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Is It On the Menu?  

Marie got a job waiterring at the hotel dining room. She handed a doctor the menu and waited.

In the meantime she reached behind and gave herself a good scratch. The man noticed this and asked her if she had hemorrhoids.

She replied, "If they ain't on the menu, we ain't got them."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Working for Microsoft

Three women are sitting around talking about their husbands’ performances as loves. The first woman says, “My husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."

The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and spank me sometimes. I kind of like that."

The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it’s going to be when I get it."

[worldangel]

Joke: Sex Every Night  

At a party, an older couple is talking to a young one.

 

The young man says to the old man, “I’ve heard that when you get up in years, you can’t have sex anymore. Is that true?”

“I don’t know where you heard that, young man, but we have sex almost every night!” the older gent replies.

“Really?”

“Sure. Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday…”

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: What Your Mom Calls Your Dad  

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal."

The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"

 

 

[worldangel]

 Joke: Eating Them Plain  

Two lesbians are sitting in a bar.

 

They have been drinking for quite sometime when one turns to the other and slurs, "Did you know there are thousands of battered women all over the world"?

The other sits quietly for a moment then turns and says, "No shit, and I’ve been eating them plain all this time..."

[worldangel]

Joke: He's A Lawyer  

A blind rabbit and blind snake bump into each other in the forest. The rabbit says, "Excuse me, I'm blind."

The snake replies, "That's okay, so am I. I got an idea. Let's rub up against each other so we know what we are?"

Reluctantly the rabbit agrees. The snake coiled around the rabbit, felt his long ears and bushy tail, and said, "Hey, you're a rabbit!"

It was then the rabbits turn. He felt the snake's fangs, ran down the snake's entire body, then felt the snake's rattler. The rabbit jumped back quickly and hopped through the woods frantically screaming, "HE'S A LAWYER, HE'S A LAWYER!"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Let's Go In After Him  

Two private detectives were doing some research on a scandalous divorce case in LA. At the husband’s request they staked out the wife’s bedroom, and sure enough, she had another man inside.

The detectives remarked to one another that they were going at it as if sex was going out of style. After watching rather furtively for quite a few minutes, one detective finally said, “As long as we’re here on the case, maybe we should go in after him?”

To this the other replied, “Great idea! Who first?”

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Did You Bring Your Own Bag?  

A man goes shopping at Whole Foods to gets a few things.

 

When he arrives at the checkout register the clerk asks, "Did you bring your own bag?"

He responds, "No, she stayed home today."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Grandpa, What Are You Doing?  

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

"Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well... last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Where's My Watch?  

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jaguar XK-8 in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Jag. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911.

In less than five minutes, a policeman pulled up. Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Jag, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you high rolling' lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Didn’t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.

"OH MY GOODNESS!" screamed the lawyer, "My Rolex!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Did You Say Warehouse?  

On the battlefield an Officer orders a Soldier to try and save a military warehouse that’s been set on fire by the enemy. To get to a hose the soldier dodges bullets, wipes out a machine gun nest and blows up an enemy tank.

He then climbs all over the burning building and extinguish every flame he can find. On the way back he kills three men barehanded, shoots down an enemy helicopter and destroys and enemy base. The Officer salutes him. “That was the most heroic thing I ever saw,” he says. “You’ll get a medal for saving that warehouse”

“Warehouse?” says the soldier, “I thought you said ‘whorehouse’!”

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: All the Women  

A man was in a bar and overheard the milkman boasting that he had made love to all the women on his route apart from one.

When the man arrived home, he related what he had heard to his wife.

She said, "I bet it's that stuck up bitch at No. 23!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Sheerer Than That  

At a lingerie store, a husband wants to buy his wife the sheerest lingerie he can find. "This is $200," says the saleswoman, showing him an item.

"I want one that's more sheer," says he. "This one is $350." "Sheerer than that."

"This is the sheerest we have. It's $500."

"I'll take it!" he replies. The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her, saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me."

She goes upstairs, opens the box and thinks, "This thing is so see-through that the old coot won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not. I can take it back for a refund and he won't know the difference." So she comes out wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose at the top of the stairs. "So, how do you like it?" she asks.

He looks at her a moment and says, "Well, you'd think for $500 they'd iron the thing."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: My Titswiggle  

A young woman had lost her precious puppy, who she named Titswiggle. She pinned up signs and posters and went door-to-door asking about her precious puppy.

When she came to a door, a man appeared and asked, “What are you doing here?"

She asked back, “Have you seen my Titswiggle?"

The man replied with a red face," Yes, I watch you through my bedroom window before I go to bed."

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: We Didn't Talk About You  

Old Mrs. Jones comes home after her doctor’s appointment. “I got a clean bill of health,” she tells Old Mr. Jones. “The doctor says I have the legs of an eighteen-year-old.”

“Whoop-dee-doo,” her husband says, sarcastically. “What did he say bout your seventy-five-year-old ass?”

“Actually, he didn’t mention you at all.”

[worldangel]

Joke: Am I the First?  

“Tell me,” the husband asked his wife on their wedding night, “Am I the first man you ever slept with?”

“No,” the woman shook her head. “I’d have recognized you when we met.”

[worldangel]

Joke: Is That for Sale?  

A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?"

"Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously.

Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising."

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: I Knew You'd Ask  

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness replied, "Yes, sir."

The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"

The witness, "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."

The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"

"Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Heaven or Hell  

Heaven is when you have barrels of beer and tons of girls.

Hell is when you find out that the barrels have holes and the girls don't!

 

[worldangel]

Joke: I Can Help You  

A psychiatrist ushered a new patient into his office and began their session. “Now tell me, what is it that you would like to discuss?” he asked.

“I’ve become obsessed with hoarding money, replied the patient.

“Ah… It may take many, many sessions, but I believe I can help you overcome this

 

[worldangel]

 Joke: A drunk walks into a crowded bar...

A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After a while, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk.

 

She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister, but did you just shit yourself?" The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit myself." The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere and clean yourself up?"

The drunk says, "'Cause I'm not finished yet..."

[worldangel]

Joke: Hot Babe in Bar

A hot babe goes into a bar and orders a sex on the beach.

 

She notices a slick dude at the end of the bar with a very prominent feature.

 

Hi big guy, she says, batting her eyelashes.

 

Oh hello, beautiful, he says stepping closer to her.

 

I couldn’t help but notice what big feet you have, as a look of wonderment spreads across her face.

 

You know what that means... he coos. Yes, trouble for the ants, she says.
 

[worldangel]

Joke: A woman walked up to a little ...

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. 

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" 

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." 

"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?" 

"Twenty-six," he said. 

[Guest 9hgg]

Hi

[worldangel]

 

Joke: Finally, the good-natured boss...

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office. 

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor." 

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith, "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking, do you?" 

[worldangel]

Joke: Enormity

Casey McCarthy had just arrived in a big City and was amazed at the enormity of everything.
Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself.

The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the men's room.
The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third door down the corridor on the left.

Now Casey, trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway remembering some of the directions.
When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT, opened the door and immediately fell into the deep end of a pool.

The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout, "Don't flush, I'm in here!"

[worldangel]

 Joke: Charge by the inch

Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side.
An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey! How about it babe? You and me?"

As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars."

She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch?"
 

[worldangel]

Joke: While the bar patron savored a...

While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him.

 

The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm celebrating."

"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.

"What are you celebrating?" he asked.

"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."

"How did it happen?"

"I switched cocks."

"What a coincidence," she said, smiling.

[worldangel]

Joke: Dog for Protection

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn't like men.”

“Perfect,” my sister-in-law thought and took the dog.

Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.
 

[worldangel]

Joke: A prisoner in jail receives a ...

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" 

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." 

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." 

The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce." 

[worldangel]

Joke: Girlfriend in car

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another.

 

The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"
 

[worldangel]

Joke: Kissing a model...

The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible.

 

He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said.

"I've never tried to kiss a model before," he swore.

"Really?" she said, softening, "How many models have there been?"

"Four," he replied, "A jug, two apples, and a vase."

[worldangel]

Joke: Automobile Dealership

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

 

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

 

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

 

“Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it's open!” To which he replied, “I know — I already got that side.”
 

[worldangel]

Joke: A police officer pulls over ...

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."
 

[worldangel]

 

Joke: Stuck Under A Bridge

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

[worldangel]

 Joke: Extremely drunk

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs though, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his back.

 

That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke; the broken glass carved up his back terribly. Yet, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up terribly.

 

He then repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed. The next morning, his head was hurting, his back was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where did you go?"

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

[worldangel]

Joke: A manager brings a dog ...

A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work. The dog is a brilliant piano player. 

 

He plays all the standards. He's sitting there, pounding out the tunes, when all of a sudden, a big dog comes in and drags out.

 

The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”

The manager says, “That's his mother. She wants him to be a doctor.”

[worldangel]

Joke: A man and an ostrich walk into...

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, "What will it be?"
The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. "That will be $4.50," The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Fri. 

"The usual?" she asked. "No, today is Friday. I'll have steak and a coke."
"Me too." says the ostrich. They finish and pay. "That will be $10.95"
The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.

The waitress was dumb-founded. "How is it that you always have the exact amount?"
"Well," says the man. "I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared." Wow!" said the waitress. "What did you wish for?"

"I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my pocket." "Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what's with the ostrich?" "Well," said the man. "I also asked for a chick with long legs."
 

[worldangel]

Joke: A secretary walked into her boss’s office...

A secretary walked into her boss's office & said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."
 
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained.

"Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary.

"You're not sterile."

[worldangel]

Joke: Two words....

The other day I had the opportunity to drop by my department head's office. He's a friendly guy and, on the rare opportunities that I have to pay him a visit, we have had enjoyable conversations.

While I was in his office, I asked him, "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"

He said, "Two words."

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Right decisions."

"But how do you make right decisions?"

"One word," he responded.

"And, Sir, what is that?"

"Experience."

"And how do you get experience?"

"Two words."

"And, Sir what are they?"

"Wrong decisions."
 

[worldangel]

Joke: A guy fell asleep on the beach

A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

 

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, "What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?"

The doctor replied, "It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs."
 

[worldangel]

Joke: A blonde and a redhead met in ...

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. 

The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, 'I'll take that bet!'
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said 'I can't take this, you're my friend.' 
The blonde said 'No. A bet's a bet'.

So the redhead said 'Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money'.
The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!'

[worldangel]

Joke: How You Earned It

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

[worldangel]

Joke: Banging pussy
 

There were two prostitutes , one was very beautiful and the other was ugly. The beautiful prostitute used to make around $1,000-$3,000 a month but the ugly one made around $10,000-$13,000.

Confused to why the fuck the ugly one made more money than her, the beautiful prostitute went to the ugly one and asked her.

" Hey girl ! How are you? Looks like you're doing great ,you bought a new car and an apartment, where did you get the money ?".

On this the ugly bitch replied. " Actually I play games with my customer and so I earn a lot, maybe more than you . What I do with my customer is that when we have intercourse I put a small firecracker in my pussy and when it blows up , I start shouting oh you blew up my pussy you bastard, scared that this may put them in trouble my customers end up paying me $500-$800 to get away".

Hearing this, the beautiful blonde prostitute went to the shop

to buy some firecrackers, but as the less power crackers were not available that day she bought a huge powerful firecracker and went to work.

While having intercourse she put the big bomb in her pussy and it went off with a huge bang. Then the prostitute started shouting as planned " You blew up my pussy ...You blew up my pussy".

On this the customer replied ," You bitch, the hell with your pussy, where the fuck is my DICK ".

[worldangel]

 

Joke: The Teacher had asked the class...

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. 

Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week."

"Good Heaven!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"

"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."

 

[worldangel]

 Joke: A married couple went to the hospital ...

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. 

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father of the baby. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. 
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.