worldangel Posted December 24, 2019 Report Share Posted December 24, 2019 Joke: Narrative and Extinguish Hal was home from college for the holidays. He said to his little sister, Sue, ”Would you like me to read you a narrative?” ”What is a narrative?” Sue asked. ”A narrative is a tale,” Hal told her. That night when Sue went to bed, Hal asked, ”Should I extinguish the light, Sue?” Sue asked, “What does extinguish mean?” “Extinguish means to put out,” Hal explained. The next day they were at dinner when their dog made a nuisance of himself. ”Hal,” Sue said, ”would you take the dog by the narrative and extinguish him?” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 24, 2019 Report Share Posted December 24, 2019 Joke: Parole Hearing Officer: "Why should you be released early?" Man: "I’m..." Officer: "Go on..." Man: "I think..." Officer: "Yes?" Man: "Can I please finish my sentence?" Officer: "Sure, if that's what you really want. Parole denied." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 24, 2019 Report Share Posted December 24, 2019 Joke: Just Fine Our doctor’s office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was just fine. That didn’t suit my husband. “What’s my cholesterol level?” he asked. “Mr. Crocker, you are just fine,” insisted the nurse. “Still, I’d like you to mail me the results.” A few days later, he received a postcard from the doctor’s office. It read, “Mr. Crocker, you are just fine!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 25, 2019 Report Share Posted December 25, 2019 Joke: Struggling Artist At the monthly meeting of the local group of struggling artists, two of them were discussing their respective prospects. First artist: "I'm not doing too well. I painted a picture for a local lady but she didn't like it. She said it made her look just like a monkey." Second artist: "I hope you were diplomatic about it?" First artist: "Yes, I told her she should have thought about that before she had her picture painted." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 25, 2019 Report Share Posted December 25, 2019 Joke: The Three Week Diet A man says to a friend, “My wife is on a three-week diet.” “Oh, yeah? How much has she lost so far?” asks his pal. He replies, “Two weeks.” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 25, 2019 Report Share Posted December 25, 2019 Joke: Somebody Loves Me Romeo: "Somebody loves me." Juliet: "Who loves you?" Romeo: "Do you know that beautiful girl who moved into the corner house last week? I sang a serenade under her window last night, and she threw me a beautiful red, red rose." Juliet: "In a moment of mad love?" Romeo: "No, in a three pound pot." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 25, 2019 Report Share Posted December 25, 2019 Joke: Past, Present, Future Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 25, 2019 Report Share Posted December 25, 2019 Joke: All the Presents It's Christmas morning and after all the gifts are unwrapped Little Johnny ask the following question, "Mother, where did all these pretty toys come from?" Mother: "Johnny, Santa brought all of them." Johnny: "Did he bring everything? Did he bring the electric train, the baseball glove and bat? The ice skates..." Mother: "Yes Johnny, Santa brought everything." Johnny: "Well, then who buys all the things in the stores?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 26, 2019 Report Share Posted December 26, 2019 Joke: Worker Advise A woman was talking to a co-worker, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything away, I am always going around the house cleaning up after him." The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'" The first woman asked, "Did it help?" Her co-worker replied, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 26, 2019 Report Share Posted December 26, 2019 Joke: To Lie Or Not To Lie Mary Jones was debating on the best means of dropping her current flame. Her friend ask: "Are you worried because you think he'll tell lies about you?" Mary answered: "I don't mind the lies, but if he ever tells the truth I will break his neck!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 26, 2019 Report Share Posted December 26, 2019 Joke: I Really Need This Job Interviewer: "How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?" Me: "That’s when I went to Yale..." Interviewer: "That’s impressive. You are hired." Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 26, 2019 Report Share Posted December 26, 2019 Joke: Wife On Vacation Steve met the family doctor on the street. "I hear your wife has gone to Palm Beach for her health," began the doctor. "What did she have?" "Eight hundred dollars her father gave her," answered Steve. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 26, 2019 Report Share Posted December 26, 2019 Joke: School Field Trip While on a field trip to a local petting zoo Little Johnny breathlessly rushed up to his teacher and shouted out, "Teacher, teacher, I just saw a man making a horse!" "Oh, Johnny, are you sure?" asked the teacher. "Of course," said Johnny, "they were tacking on his feet as I walked by!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 27, 2019 Report Share Posted December 27, 2019 Joke No Thanks, Officer A man is driving along and a police man stops him and says, "Alcohol, drugs?" And the man says, "No thanks officer, I've got everything." Then he drives off. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 27, 2019 Report Share Posted December 27, 2019 Joke: What's the Nail For? A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores. “A guy will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows. I’ve hung a nail by the right stall so you’ll know which one I want him to impregnate." Satisfied that his wife had the instructions clear, the farmer leaves for town. That afternoon, the inseminator arrives and the wife dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the stall with the nail. “This is the cow right here,” she tells him. “What’s the nail for?” “I guess it’s to hang up your pants.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 27, 2019 Report Share Posted December 27, 2019 (edited) Joke: Come Starboard A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard." Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor. The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?" Edited December 27, 2019 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 27, 2019 Report Share Posted December 27, 2019 Joke: For Next Christmas A small girl’s father asked her what she would most like for Christmas. The girl, knowing that her mother was expecting, replied, “A baby brother.” To everyone’s delight, the mother came back from the hospital on Christmas Eve with a baby boy in her arms. Some time later, the father said to his daughter, “And next Christmas what would you like?” “Well,” said the girl, after some thought, “If it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable for Mom, I’d like a pony.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 27, 2019 Report Share Posted December 27, 2019 Joke: The Unattractive Ladies Man A very handsome man at a singles bar is sitting at a prime location having a drink. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks in, with no luck. Then a repulsively ugly man comes in, sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Minutes later he walks out with two of the most beautiful women you ever saw. Disheartened by all this, the good looking guy calls the bartender and says, “Excuse me, but do you know that man’s secret? I mean, he’s not what you’d call attractive, in fact he’s ugly as sin, and yet the ladies adore him. I’m everything a girl could want but I haven’t been able to score all night. What’s going on?” “Well,” said the bartender, “I don’t know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 28, 2019 Report Share Posted December 28, 2019 Joke: Why Does It Rain Little Johnny: "Why does it rain, dad?" Father: "To make the flowers grow and the grass and the trees." Little Johnny: "So why does it rain on the sidewalk?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 28, 2019 Report Share Posted December 28, 2019 Joke: Offers for the Bird A gold-digger had died and all her worldly possessions, including a parrot, were being auctioned off. "What am I offered for this beautiful bird?" "One bean," bid a bystander. "Two bucks," roared another. "Make it five, Daddy," croaked the parrot, "and I'll give you a kiss." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 28, 2019 Report Share Posted December 28, 2019 Joke: A Cheetah & A Lion A cheetah and a lion are racing... The cheetah wins... The lion says, "You a cheetah!" The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 28, 2019 Report Share Posted December 28, 2019 Joke: Tears At the Zoo A woman was visiting the zoo when she passed two workmen that were crying. "Why are you guys crying?" she asked. One replied, "One of the elephants just died." "The big elephant must have been your favourite animal in the zoo?" she asked. "No, Ma'am-- love has nothing to do with it. The boss told us we have to dig the grave." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 28, 2019 Report Share Posted December 28, 2019 Joke: What Did He Say? "Did you present the delinquent account to the defendant?" inquired the lawyer of his client. "I did, sir." "And what did he say?" "He told me to go to the hell." "And what did you do then?" "Well that's when I came to you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 29, 2019 Report Share Posted December 29, 2019 Joke: BEFORE AND AFTER A man and his son were talking about sex. The son asked his father, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The dad asked him, "Before or after sex?" "Ummm, before sex," the kid replied. The dad said, "Have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?" "Yeah," said the son. "Well, what about after sex?" His dad replied, "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?" shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 29, 2019 Report Share Posted December 29, 2019 Joke: A man takes his hamster to the... A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet,” Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be £1000, please". "A £1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 29, 2019 Report Share Posted December 29, 2019 Joke: Too Much Time at the Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer. Husband : (Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in." Wife : Have you brought the grocery? Husband : Bad command or filename. Wife : But I told you in the morning Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort? Wife : What about my new TV? Husband : Variable not found ... Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping. Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied... Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny? Husband: Too many parameters ... Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you. Husband: Data type mismatch. Wife : You are useless. Husband : It's by Default. Wife: What about your Salary? Husband: File in use ... Try after some time. Wife: What is my value in the family. Husband: Unknown Virus Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 29, 2019 Report Share Posted December 29, 2019 Joke: Builders at Work Artist: "This is my very latest painting. I call it 'Builders at Work'... it's very realistic." Friend: "But they really aren't at work." Artist: "Of course, that's the realism." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 29, 2019 Report Share Posted December 29, 2019 Joke: Will This Take Care of It? A cab driver sees a woman hailing him down a busy street. He pulls over and is surprised when she gets in and sits down besides him on the front seat. She gives him an address and they drive off. When they arrive at her address, the cab driver stops and shuts off the meter. “Okay,” he says, “that will be $10.50, please.” The woman looks over and says to him, “To tell you the truth, I don’t have any money, but..." she says, pulling her skirt up to her waist, “maybe this will take care of it?” The cabbie looks down and says, “Gee, lady don’t you have anything smaller?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 Joke: Face to face FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla? BERT: No, what happened? FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . . BERT: What did you do? FRED: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 Joke: Three bulls heard via the grapevine ... Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. The first bull says, "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't givin' him any of mine." The second bull says, "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS." The third bull says, "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows." They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4,700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point. The first bull says, "Ahem...You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend." The second bull says, "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm. The first bull says, "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." The third bull says, "Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'M a bull!" shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 Joke: A man with a pegleg, hook hand and... A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate. Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg? Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war. Interviewer: How did you get that hook? Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife. Interviewer: What about your eyepatch? Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye. Interviewer: And that put your eye out? Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 Joke: "Ever since we got married... "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market." "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 Joke: Guard dog My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection since she drove all over the country. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn't like men.” “Perfect,” my sister-in-law thought and took the dog. Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 1, 2020 Report Share Posted January 1, 2020 Joke: Footloose The giddy dame decided to put her cards on the table. She snuck up to the playboy at the bar and whispered, “I’m footloose.” He looked her over carefully and said, “The rest of you can stand tightening too.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 1, 2020 Report Share Posted January 1, 2020 Joke: Don't Do That In Public A boy and his mother stood looking at a dentist's showcase. "If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair," said the small boy, pointing. "Hush, Willie," interposed the mother quickly, shaking his arm. "Haven't I told you it's bad manners to pick your teeth in public?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 1, 2020 Report Share Posted January 1, 2020 Joke: My Booties A baby girl and boy are having a conversation. "I'm a girl,” replies the girl. "How do you know?" asks the boy. "I heard my mommy say it". "I'm a boy,” replies the boy. "How do you know?” The baby boy takes of his blanket off and says, "See my blue booties?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 1, 2020 Report Share Posted January 1, 2020 Joke: Your Alcohol Is A Crutch Concerned about his heavy drinking, a man went to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist tells him, “You use alcohol as a crutch.” The man responds, “So how come I fall over when I’m drunk?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 1, 2020 Report Share Posted January 1, 2020 Joke: That Lazy Bum The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post. "Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily. "Three hundred bucks," replied the young man. Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said "Here's a week's pay -- now get out and don't come back!" Turning to one of the supervisors, he said, "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?" "He doesn't work here," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 2, 2020 Report Share Posted January 2, 2020 Joke: Boobs On Your Back An elephant asked a camel, "Why do you have boobs on your back?" The camel was stunned for a second and then replied, “That’s a good question, especially coming from a freak who has his penis on his face!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 2, 2020 Report Share Posted January 2, 2020 Joke: Is the Frickin' Cat There? A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving 20 blocks from the house and leaving the cat at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He let the beast out of the car and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further, but the feline would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, cross the bridge, then right again, and make another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later, the man calls home. "Jen, is the frickin' cat there?" "Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answers, "Put that SOB on the phone. I'm lost and need directions!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 2, 2020 Report Share Posted January 2, 2020 Joke: My Wish Is To Live Forever I met a fairy today. She said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that." "Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets it's head out of it's ass!" "You, crafty little bastard," said the fairy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 2, 2020 Report Share Posted January 2, 2020 Joke: Let's Try Back to Back A couple had been married for ten years and their sex life was becoming boring. One night the husband came home and said to his wife, “Honey, tonight we’re going to make love a different way. Tonight, we’re going to do it lying back to back.” “What fun is that?” the wife asked. “Plenty. I invited another couple.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 2, 2020 Report Share Posted January 2, 2020 Joke: That's Impossible A 90-year old man was having his annual check-up and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. Do you know what happened?" Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him." "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 3, 2020 Report Share Posted January 3, 2020 Joke: Shows up A state trooper notices a car weaving in the road, and when he pulls it over a beautiful woman gets out. She is clearly under the influence, but just to make sure he gives her the breathalyzer test. Sure enough, she's over the limit, so the trooper says, “Madam, you've had a couple of stiff ones.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 3, 2020 Report Share Posted January 3, 2020 Joke: "Ever since we got married... "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market." "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 3, 2020 Report Share Posted January 3, 2020 Joke: At a divorce court a family of... At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear; “do you want to live with papa bear?” The baby bear replied; "No he beats me. "The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 3, 2020 Report Share Posted January 3, 2020 Joke: Remember how... A couple who'd been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?" He moved over and sat close to her. "Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight. "And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?" With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room. "Where are you going?" she asked. "Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 3, 2020 Report Share Posted January 3, 2020 Joke: Anything for wife? "And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No thank you," the gentleman replied. "That will be all." As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked. "Yeah! That's a good idea," the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 4, 2020 Report Share Posted January 4, 2020 Joke: A married couple were asleep ... A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here?" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some young woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 4, 2020 Report Share Posted January 4, 2020 Joke: Maiden Name Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license. “Will there be any change of address?” the clerk inquired. “No,” I replied. “Oh, good,” she said, clearly delighted. “You got the house.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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