worldangel Posted July 29, 2020 Report Share Posted July 29, 2020 Joke: Nothing Altered nor Touched One afternoon there was a group of tourists on tour going through an ancient castle in Europe. They were accompanied by a tour guide. The guide said that the majestic castle was over 700 years old. He added that nothing had been altered or touched in all those years. One of the tourists blurted out, "Sounds like they have the same cheap landlord I have!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2020 Report Share Posted July 29, 2020 Joke: Time for the Pearls The newlyweds undressed and got into bed. “Sweetheart,” asked the new wife. “Could you please hand me that jar of Vaseline over there?” “Baby, you aren’t going to need any Vaseline,” he growled amorously. But at her insistence he handed it over, and she proceeded to smear it liberally all over her crotch. After watching this procedure, the husband asked the wife a favour. “Remember that long string of pearls I gave you for an engagement present? Could you get them out of the bureau for me?” “Of course, love,” replied his bride, “but whatever do you want them for?” “Well,” he explained, looking at the Vaseline smeared all over her, “if you think I’m going into a mess like that without chains, you’re crazy!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2020 Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 Joke: Printer Repair I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colours would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colours are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every colour of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow construction paper?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2020 Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 Joke: The Man With Many Hats The manager of a touring theatrical company emailed the owner of the theatre in a small town where his company was due to appear. "Would like to hold rehearsal next Monday afternoon at three. Have your stage manager, carpenter, property man, electrician, and all stage hands present at that hour." A few seconds later he received the following reply: "All right. He'll be there." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2020 Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 Joke: Collecting Coupons Ms. Warner: "Well, how are you getting on in your new eight room house?" Ms. Kyle: "Oh, not so badly. We furnished one of the bedrooms by collecting soap coupons." Ms. Warner: "Didn't you furnished the other seven rooms?" Ms. Kyle: "We can't. They are full of the soap." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2020 Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 Joke: Then She Was Gone A woman had been in a coma for a while. Her doctors told her husband that they had tried everything they could and that she was near death. There was only one experimental procedure left to try to revive her and that would be oral sex. The husband agreed to try. They provided privacy for the couple and watched the monitor of her condition... blip ... blip... BLIP... then flat line... she was gone. The husband came out shaking his head and said, "I hope I didn't choke her." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 Joke: My Husband Is A Racehorse A man decides that he is a racehorse, so his wife puts him in the nuthouse. A few weeks late the doctor at the asylum calls the wife and tells her to come get her husband. "Is he cured?" asks the wife. The doctor says, “No, but he broke his leg today on the fifth race, so he is putting himself out to stud.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 Joke: Loving Couple An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you that we found your wife at the bottom of the ocean. She had passed away. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her backside was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 Joke: Incomplete Sentence It was Memorial Day celebration, and the senator used the occasion to announce, “I am going to go to the presidential convention and run as a favourite son!” Listening to the speech, one man said to another, “Did I miss something, or did that jerk forget to finish the sentence?” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 Joke: Several Times A Night A researcher phones one of the participants in a recent survey to check on a discrepancy. He asked the man, “In response to the question on frequency of intercourse you answered ‘twice weekly.’ Your wife, on the other hand, answered ‘several times a night’.” “That’s right,” replies the man, “And that’s how it’s going to stay until our second mortgage is paid off.” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 Joke: 18 More Erections A man goes to his doctor for his annual exam. After some tests, the doctor comes in and says, "I have some bad news, you'll only have 18 more erections in your life." The man, disheartened, rushes home. "Honey!" he yells. "I'm only going to have 18 more erections in my life!" His wife, horrified, says, " Well, that's okay, we'll just have to use them sparingly, that is all." The man says, "What in the hell are you talking about? You're not on the list." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Joke: Shoot Already! Mr. and Mrs. Shaw were on a safari. They were walking cautiously through the jungle when suddenly a huge lion sprang out in front of them, seized Mrs. Shaw in its jaws and started to drag her off into the bush. “Shoot!” she screamed to her husband. “Shoot!” “I can’t!” he yelled back. “I’ve run out of film!” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Joke: Just Making Money "I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money." "Why do you say that?" "Listen to this from his bill, 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25.'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Joke: My Nookie Days Are Over My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, is now my waterspout. Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring, But now I’ve got a full-time job, to find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave. For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues, to see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Joke: It's the Dampness A couple in their eighties just got married and is on their honeymoon. In the hotel room she slips into something sexy and crawls into bed and waits for her new groom. He's in the bathroom sprucing himself up. She waits and waits until she can't wait any longer. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and opens the door. Peering in she sees him bent over on the toilet trying to put on a condom. She giggles, "Honey what are you doing? I'm 86 years old and can't get pregnant anymore." He looks up at her and says, "I know, but honey, you know how dampness affects my arthritis." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Joke: Tell Me Truthfully Old Jack had moments to live. At his beside were his family. His wife was there, as were his four sons, three of which had blonde hair. The other one had red hair. "Clara, I’ve always wondered why one of our sons had red hair. Tell me truthfully, is he really my son?" Clara put her hand on her heart and fervently swore that yes, he was his son. "Oh thank goodness," croaked the old man and he died with a smile on his face. As the family left, the room, the wife sighed deeply, "Good thing he didn’t ask about the other three." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 2, 2020 Report Share Posted August 2, 2020 Joke: Your Alcohol Is A Crutch Concerned about his heavy drinking, a man went to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist tells him, “You use alcohol as a crutch.” The man responds, “So how come I fall over when I’m drunk?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 2, 2020 Report Share Posted August 2, 2020 Joke: Home yet? A middle-aged woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him," she said. "And he's right too. I have no desire at all." The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling into his office. "Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin' it twice a night now." "That's wonderful," said the doctor, "What does your husband say now?" "How should I know?" she replied. "I ain't been home yet." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 3, 2020 Report Share Posted August 3, 2020 Joke: Was I born? Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 3, 2020 Report Share Posted August 3, 2020 Did You See Me? A man walks into a bank, gets in line, and when it is his turn he pulls out a gun and robs the bank. Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, " id you see me rob this bank?" The customer replies, "Yes!" The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head, and BANG! Shoots him dead. He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man calmly responds, "No... but my wife did." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 4, 2020 Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Joke: Pregnancy advice A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea 'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do.' 'Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I rather like it.' 'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.' The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 4, 2020 Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Joke: A farmer ordered a high-tech machine A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away. So he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on, and voila, everything else was automatic! He really had a good time as the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. However, when the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off. He read the manual, but did not find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument - some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or less - but still he had no success getting out of it. Panicking, he just barely reached the phone and called the supplier's customer service hotline. The farmer: "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It worked fantastic. But how can I take it off from the cow's udder?" Customer Service: "Don't worry. The machine was programmed to release automatically after collecting about 2 gallons of milk." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Joke: Changing the Emblem The President of a country announced today that he is changing the nation’s emblem to a condom as it more clearly reflects the government’s political stance. A condom stands for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while it’s actually screwing you. sman.sg 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Joke: Death Of His Father The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had been hanged. The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Joke: Anatomy A new bride went to her doctor for a check-up. Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor "What's that thing hanging between my husband’s legs?" The doctor replies "We call that the penis." The new bride then asks "What's that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?" The doctor replies "We call that the head of the penis. The bride then asks "What are those 2 round things about 15 inches from the head of the penis?" The doctor replies "Lady, on him I don't know, but on me they're the cheeks of my ass!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 6, 2020 Report Share Posted August 6, 2020 Joke: Give Up Sex Completely Sam was less than pleased with the doctor’s therapy for the constant fatigue that was plaguing him. “Give up sex completely, Doctor?” he screamed. “I’m a young guy. How can you expect me to just go cold turkey?” “So get married and taper off gradually,” advised the physician. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 6, 2020 Report Share Posted August 6, 2020 Joke: Complete coverage Two men are in a doctor's clinic. Each of them are to get a vasectomy...the nurse comes into the room and tells both men, "Strip and put on these gowns before going in to see the doctor to have your procedures done." A few minutes later she returns and reaches into one man's gown and proceeds to fondle and ultimately begins to masturbate him. Shocked as he was, he asks "Why are you doing that?" To which she replies, "We have to vacate the sperm from your system to have a clean procedure." The man not wanting to be a problem and enjoying it, allows her to complete her task. After she is through, she proceeds to the next man.. She starts to fondle the man as she had the previous man, but then drops to her knees and proceeds to give him oral sex. The first man seeing this quickly responds, "Hey! Why is it that I get masturbated and he gets a blow job?" The nurse simply replies, "Sir, there is a difference between HMO and Complete Coverage. sman.sg 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 7, 2020 Report Share Posted August 7, 2020 Joke: The psychiatrist & the LAN Cable A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly, the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of coloured plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 Joke: Mommy, What Are You Doing? A teenage boy walked in on his parents having intimate action. He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad, and he says "Mommy, what are you doing?" "Well, daddy's too fat so I thought I'd try to flatten him out." The boy replied, "Why bother, every Tuesday the maid comes over and blows him back up again!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 Joke: Your Future Lover A high School cheerleader attends a wedding with her family. “Put a piece of wedding cake under your pillow, and you will dream of your future lover,” says her mother. The next morning, the mother asks, “Who did you see in your dreams?” Her daughter replies with a big grin, “The football team.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 Joke: I Purchased Twelve Dozen Storming into the drugstore first thing Monday morning, the young man slammed a carton and a receipt down on the counter. “I came in here on Friday and purchased twelve dozen condoms,” he yelled at the pharmacist. “Well, I counted them. There’s only eleven dozen here!” Looking at the man square in the eye, the pharmacist apologetically said, “So sorry, sir, to have ruined your weekend.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 Joke: Mini Cooper This guy comes back from the toilet, when a woman says to him, "Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open"!" As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile, "Did you see my big black hummer?" The woman replies, "Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 Joke: He'll Believe You People are so amazing... if you tell a person that there are 270,678,934,341 stars in the universe, they'll believe you. However if you put up a sign that says "FRESH PAINT"... that same person has to make a personal investigation! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 Joke: The Pain of Folding A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some relief. After he came home she'd start right in on him again. After several weeks went by, he came home early one Friday night about 9:30. His wife asked him how come he was home early. He told her, "You need to pack your bags and go to Herb's house, I lost you to him in the card game tonight." His wife became furious and started to give him hell. She said, "Just how could you do such a thing!?" He replied, "It was the hardest thing I ever done... I had to fold with king hi four aces." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 Joke: Heart Attack Two years after my heart attack, I was teaching my college course when I felt discomfort in my chest. I paused the class to pop my medication and felt better quickly. “Now, if I ever do have a heart attack,” I told my students, “I will give extra credit to whoever gives me CPR.” One of them shouted out, ”How much?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Joke: Do You Smoke? Two prostitutes are talking and one says, "Do you smoke when you finish?" The other replies, "I don't know, I never checked." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Joke: We Don't Know A Thing At a country club party, a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Right away he began flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after an hour he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she said. “We only met an hour ago. There is no way you could be so sure. We don’t know a thing about each other.” “You are wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past seven years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his business account.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Joke: I Killed Your Chicken He accidentally kills his neighbour's chicken. He goes to her house to inform her and he says, "I accidentally killed your chicken, but I am willing to replace it." The neighbour looks at him, smiles, and says, "That depends, how many eggs can you lay in a week?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 12, 2020 Report Share Posted August 12, 2020 Joke: The Woman Is Extremely Hot A hot girl walks into the doctor's office and sits down. The doctor sees that the woman is extremely hot. He walks up and wastes no time, he slides his hands up her shirt and starts caressing her boobs and says, "Do you know what I’m doing?" She says, "Yes, you are feeling for cancer right?" "Yeah, o yeah." After that he starts taking off the woman’s pants and starts massaging her thighs and says, "Do you know what I’m doing now?" "Yes, you are feeling for cancer right?" "Yes, that's exactly it, feeling for cancer." After that he pulls off his pants gets on top of her and says, "Do you know what I’m doing now?" She says, "Yes I do! You are checking for genital warts because you know that’s why I came here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 13, 2020 Report Share Posted August 13, 2020 Joke: I'm Going Overseas Joe is frustrated with his marriage, and one day he starts packing a suitcase. His wife says, “What are you doing?” He says, “I’m going Overseas. I hear the women there pay men $50 a pop just to bang them.” His wife starts packing a suitcase too. Joe says, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I’m coming with you. I want to see how you’re gonna live on hundred bucks a month.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 13, 2020 Report Share Posted August 13, 2020 Joke: Whatcha Looking At? The beautiful woman had just stepped out of the bathtub in her hotel suite and was about to reach for a towel when she caught sight of a window washer taking in all of her charms. Too stunned to move, she stood staring at the man. “Whatcha lookin’ at, lady?” he finally asked. “Ain’tcha never seen a window washer before?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 13, 2020 Report Share Posted August 13, 2020 Joke: Did You See Me? A man walks into a bank, gets in line, and when it is his turn, he pulls out a gun and robs the bank. Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, " id you see me rob this bank?" The customer replies, "Yes!" The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head, and BANG! Shoots him dead. He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man calmly responds, "No... but my wife did." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 14, 2020 Report Share Posted August 14, 2020 Joke: Social Security Style Lorie and Fanny are having a conversation during their lunch break. Lorie asks, “So, Fanny how’s your sex life these days?” Fanny replies, “Oh, you know. It’s the usual, Social Security kind.” “Social Security?” Lorie asked surprised. “Yeah, you get a little each month, but it’s not enough to live on.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 14, 2020 Report Share Posted August 14, 2020 Joke: It's A History Book A curious kid comes running to an elderly man, who is reading a book. He asks him, "What are you reading?" The elderly man answers, “A history book." The kid looks at what the elderly man is reading and says, "But that’s a book about sex!" And the man said, "Yeah, but for me it's history!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 15, 2020 Report Share Posted August 15, 2020 Joke: Wake Me Up A man stepped onto the overnight train and told the conductor, "I need you to wake me up in Philadelphia. I'm a deep sleeper and can be ornery when I get up, but no matter what, I want you to help me make that stop. Here's $100 to make sure." The conductor agreed. The man fell asleep, and when he awoke, he heard the announcement that the train was approaching New York. Furious, he collared the conductor. "I gave you $100 to make sure I got off in Philadelphia, you worthless fool!" "Wow," another passenger said to his traveling companion. "Is that guy ever mad!" "Yeah," his companion replied. "But not half as mad as that guy they forced off the train in Philadelphia." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 15, 2020 Report Share Posted August 15, 2020 Joke: Who Was the Boss? There was a "hard boiled" foreman at a rather large construction site that was constantly urging his workers to go faster. The men were getting tired and one day he heard someone shout, "Rome was not built in a day!" "I know it wasn't," replied the foreman. "But that's because I was not in charge of that project. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 16, 2020 Report Share Posted August 16, 2020 Joke: Who Lies Most Three politicians were in a heated discussion as to which one was the best liar. As the discussion was getting louder and louder the bartender suggested they have a liar’s contest. After agreeing to the rules, the first says, "I have never told a lie," The second indicated that he was not capable of telling a lie. The third won the prize as he assured the bartender that, "The other two had told the exact truth." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 16, 2020 Report Share Posted August 16, 2020 Joke: Can't Trust the Bookkeeper A Triad Boss finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million dollars. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Marco would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court. When the Boss goes to confront Marco about his missing $10 million, he takes his lawyer who knows sign language. The Boss tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks Marco, "Where's the money?" Marco signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about?" The lawyer tells the Boss, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Boss pulls out a pistol, puts it to Marco's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Marco, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." Marco trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, in the shed at my house. The Boss asks, "What did he say?" "Boss, he says you're not man enough to pull the trigger." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 17, 2020 Report Share Posted August 17, 2020 Joke: Have You Farted Yet? Two airplane mechanics have nothing to do on a foggy night at O’Hare Airport. Bob says to Bill, “I hear that you can get a buzz off drinking jet fuel.” Since they have nothing better to do, they try it. Their shift is over and they go home. The next morning Bob calls Bill and says, “How are you feeling?” Bill says he is fine, never felt better. He goes on, “This is great! We can drink all we want and not get a hangover.” Bob says, “Well, there is one side effect, Bill. Have you farted yet?” “No, why?” “I did, and I’m calling you from Milwaukee." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 17, 2020 Report Share Posted August 17, 2020 Joke: A $500 Porsche A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It loudly announced, "$500 Porsche! New!" The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but he said to himself, "It's worth a shot." So he went to the lady's house who was selling the Porsche and she led him into the garage. Sure enough, there was an almost brand new Porsche. "Wow!" the man said, "Can I take it for a test drive?" "Sure," answered the lady. Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly. When he got back to the lady's house, he asked her, "Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?" Then the lady replied with a laugh, "My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me, 'You can have the house and the furniture, just sell my Porsche and send me the money.'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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