worldangel Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 Joke: Good news and bad news... A doctor enters into a patient's room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear. The patient responds, "Doctor, give me the good news." The doctor says, "Well we are gonna name a disease after you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 Joke: Wet pussy One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance. The fish said to itself, "If that fly comes six inches closer, I'll jump up and have myself a meal." Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, " If that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and I'll catch the fish and have myself a meal." As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and I'll shoot the bear." Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself," If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and I'll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter. However, unbeknownst to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I'll snatch the rat." At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the sandwich, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake. The moral of this story is: If the fly drops six inches the pussy will get wet. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: The Perfect Dress Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Her parents divorced, but that never stopped her from wanting to get married. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear. A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother. Jennifer asked her stepmother to exchange it, but she refused. 'Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress and I'm wearing it,' she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, 'Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.' A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, 'Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.' Her mother just smiled and replied, 'Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner, the night before the wedding.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: What a talent... A family was visiting an tribe reservation area when they happened upon an old tribesman lying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop. The father of the family asked the old tribeman what he was doing. The tribesman began to speak..."woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, white, four-door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h. "That's amazing!" exclaimed the father. "You can tell all that just by listening to the ground?" "No," said the old tribesman, weakly. "They just ran over me five minutes ago!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: Ray had just reached his 175th Ray had just reached his 175th birthday last week. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, "Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 175?" Ray answered, "It was easy. I just never argue with anyone." The reporter shot back, "That's crazy. It had to be something else -- diet, meditation, or something. Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 175 years!" The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds. Then he shrugged, "Hmmm... Maybe you're right." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: Porch or Lexus?A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said,"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge? "$50" she replies The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man's wife overheard their conversation and asked him if she had realized that the porch goes all around the house. "She should. She was standing on it" A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You've finished already?" the man asked. "Yeah, and i had paint left over so i gave two coats." Impressed the man reaches for the money. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a porch. Its a Lexus." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: The 6th grade science teacher... The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye." Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: Question time.... Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time.... "Class," he said, "my name begins with the letter 'M,' and I pick up things....What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: Typical male... A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend observed. "But didn't you tell me you were planning to visit Colorado?" "Well," the husband said, "we changed our plans because, uh..." His wife cut in, "Oh, tell the truth, Fred!" He feel silent, and she continued, "You know, it's just ridiculous. Fred simply will NOT ask for directions." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: With no warning and clear out... With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight." His wife replied, "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!" The husband said, "I know all that." "Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?" asked the wife. The guy answered, "Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: Big People WordsA group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: A woman meets a gorgeous man in... A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge, enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is kind of surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, 'Well, how was it?' The man says, 'You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: As a mother passed her daughter As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone." The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone." A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?" The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 Joke: A man went to his lawyer ... A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: Picked Up by the Fuzz 'Hey, lover", said the hipster to the beautiful chick he'd just met. "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" "No", she answered, "but I bet it hurts like hell" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: I have a soar throat A blonde goes to the doctor's clinic, sits down, and says, "I have a sore throat" The doctor gets out his penlight and says, "Open wide' She says, "I can't. The chair has arms" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: Getting head tonight A man approaches a lady at the bar, ready with his best pickup line. "Excuse me, miss?" "Yes?" "If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: One at a time Q: What is the difference between a college professor and a proctologist? A: A proctologist only has to deal with one asshole at a time. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: Why are married women heavier ... Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?" A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: Just like dad ..... The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like Dad!" Her mother replied "So what you want from me, sympathy?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: Who would steal? The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!" The other partner replied, "What are you worried about? We are both here" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: Like a deck of cards A man is like a deck of cards..... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his freaking head in ..... And a spade to bury the bastard! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 Joke: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item ..... A man wil pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman wil pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 Joke: Do you know .. ? Do you know the difference between genius and stupid? "Geniius has its limits" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 Joke: Two babies lies in the birth section Baby 1: I am a boy Baby 2: Prove it Baby 1: Not in front of the nurse Baby 2: Okay, the nurse leaves Baby 2: Prove it Baby 1: Look, blue socks ..... Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 Joke: Fool in love .... After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you" The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 Joke: How long have you been working ... How long have you been working here? one employee asked to another. Ever since the boss threatened to fire me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 Joke: I hate her "You don't seem to like the new tutor?" his mother asked "I hate her," screamed little Johnny, "I'd like to grab her and bite her on the back of the back on the neck ... like daddy does" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 Joke: The ditzky blonde "How lovely you look, my dear" gushed a wedding guest to the bride. And then she whispered, "Whatever happened to that dizzy blonde your groom used to date?" "I dyed my hair", replied the bride Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 Joke: You take American Express? Man: "How much?" Prositute: "$25 dollars" Man: "American Express?" Prostitute: "For $25 dollars, you can go as fast as you want!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 Joke: I am Napoleon Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another patient asked, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "Because the Heaven told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 Joke: "Tim, what is .......?" Teacher: "Tim, what is the outside of a tree called?" Tim: "I don't know" Teacher: "Bark, Tim, bark" Tim: ""Bow, wow, wow!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 Joke: From memory A man sees a picture of his wife in the nude hanging at an art show. He angrily goes to her, "Did you really pose for that?" "Don't be ridiculous," she replies. "Of course not! The artist painted it from memory." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 Joke: North vs South One of the remaining differences between the northerrn and southern states is the style of introductions. For example, the northern introduction to a child's fairy tale is, "Once upon a time ......" While the south chooses, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 Joke: Rest area On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES" By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 Joke: A woman came to her doctor in a panic ... A woman came to her doctor in a panic. "Doctor, all day long my daughter eats yeast and car wax, and won't get out of bed! What will happen to her?" "Don'tworry, " said the Doctor, "eventually she will rise and shine" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 Joke: A man woke up in a hospital after ...... A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 Joke: True Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbour a thousand dollars?" Defendant: "Yes, it's true." Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?" Defendant:"Because it wouldn't be true anymore" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 Joke: My neighbours were screaming ....... 1st man: "My neighbours were screaming and yelling at three o'clock this morning!" 2nd man: "Did they wake you?" 1st man: "Nah ........I was up playing my bagpipes". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: Big People Words A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: Brenda O'Malley is home making …. Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, Goodness no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me...." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, no Brenda... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: Deserted island Harry was shipwrecked on a deserted island. For several months, he longed for someone to talk to; searched the horizons for even the suggestion of a ship. One day, his commitment was rewarded: A beautiful woman was washed up onto the beach, floating on a large steamer trunk. Harry got her all settled, and fed, and dried off and they started talking. April asked Harry, "what is something you've REALLY missed being out here on a desserted island for so long?" "A clean shirt," was Harry's response. With a huff, April reached into the steamer trunk and tossed Harry a shirt. April let out a short huff, but persevered: "Surely there's SOMETHING you've really missed out here...all alone...on an island with NOBODY all this time?" "Oh wow, YEAH, there sure is: I'd REALLY like a dry pillow to sleep on." April reached into her steamer trunk once again and tossed Harry a pillow; and she would not be put off. Striking her most alluring pose, she asked in her most provocative voice, "C'mon, Harry, wouldn't you like to play around?" Harry got all excited and started jumping up and down. "Don't tell me you have a set of GOLF CLUBS in there, too?!???!?!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: School Report Our 15-year-old daughter, Melanie, had to write a report for school about World War II, specifically D-Day and the invasion of Normandy. “Isn't there a movie about that?” she asked. I told her there was, but I couldn't think of the name. Then it came to her, “Oh, I remember! Isn't it something like ‘Finding Private Nemo'?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: Fred had tried to be particularly... Fred had tried to be particularly careful about his language as he played golf with his preacher. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives. The preacher felt obliged to respond. "I have observed," said he in a calm voice, "that the best golfers do not use foul language." "I guess not", said Fred, "what the hell do they have to cuss about?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: Two hikers were walking through... Two hikers were walking through central Pennsylvania when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in the ground. They figured it must be the opening for a vertical air shaft from an old abandoned coal mine. Curious as to the depth of the hole, the first hiker picked up a nearby rock and tossed it into the opening. They listened... and heard nothing. The second hiker picked up an even larger rock and tossed it into the opening. They listened... and still heard nothing. Then they both picked up an old railroad tie, dragged it to the edge of the shaft, and hurled it down. Seconds later a dog came running up between the two men and jumped straight into the hole. Bewildered, the two men just looked at each other, trying to figure out why a dog would do such a thing. Soon a young boy ambled onto the scene and asked if either man had seen a dog around here. The hikers told him about the dog that had just jumped into the hole. The young boy laughed and said, "That couldn't be my dog. My dog was tied to a railroad tie!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: Would you watch my car? A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But it's all right. I'll trust you anyway." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Joke: Very cold An old woman says to her friend: “You know, last night I was shivering all over from cold.” Her friend: “Do you remember if your teeth chattered?” The old woman: “I don't think so. We haven't slept together for ages.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 Joke: What kind of car was he driving? A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. What kind of car was he driving? the husband asked. I don’t know, she said. I never can tell one car from another.At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make. It worked. About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face. Darling, she said. I hit a Buick! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 Joke: Wedding Preparation Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemists. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?” The chemist answers, “Yes.” Jacob: “We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?” Chemist: “Of course we do.” Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?” Chemist: “Definitely.” Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?” Chemist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.” Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?” Chemist: “Absolutely.” Jacob: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?” Chemist: “We sure do.” Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?” Chemist: “All speeds and sizes.” Jacob: “In that case, we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 Joke: An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date ... An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset. "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked. "I had to slap his face three times!" "You mean he got fresh?" "No," she answered. "I thought he was dead!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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