worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: What Shall I Do With My Clothes? - During her annual check-up, the well-endowed woman was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. “Doctor,” she shyly said, “I just can’t undress in front of you.” “All right,” said the doctor. “I’ll flick of the lights. You undress and tell me when you’re ready.” In a short time, her voice rang out in the darkness, “I have undressed doctor. What shall I do with my clothes?” “Put them on the chair, on top of mine.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Biggest Export Fun fact: Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs. It’s also their biggest import. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Shirt Gift Give a man a shirt, and he’ll wear it once. Tell a man he looks good in it, and he’ll wear it for a lifetime. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Cherry Cake Patient: Doctor, doctor. I’ve come out in spots like cherries on a cake. Doctor: Ah, you must have analogy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Space Station Why do people on the ISS use Linux? You can’t open windows in space. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Liquor Store Dude Every time I go to the liquor store, a dude comes out of nowhere to give me advice on what to buy. He’s my spirit guide. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Chewbacca Crash Why did Chewbacca crash the Millennium Falcon the first time he flew it? It was a Wookie mistake. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Dissatisfied Wife Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A tiny part of me says yes Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Don’t Kiss Anyone Why shouldn’t you kiss anyone on January 1st? Because it’s only the first date. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Poor Vision My new girlfriend told me she can’t see too well without her glasses. I asked her what numbers she can see. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Not My Son I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5-year old son wasn’t actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Weekday Sickness My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.” I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Career Choice My teenage daughter can’t decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer. I guess she’ll have to flip a coin. Heads or tales. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Pre And Post Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together… Would be preposterous. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: New Apple Product Apple have announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day. The iRoll. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Childhood Home I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: The Baked Potato Dilemma Stepping up to the counter at the fast-food restaurant, I asked for a baked potato with butter on the side. With the gusto of someone newly employed, the teenager taking my order asked, “Which side? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: The Cat Did It Again The wife got up early in the morning and shouted, "Hey honey, the cat has again drunk the milk!" The husband shouted back, “I have told you to wear a bra while sleeping!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Hairy Underarms A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunken man next to her stares for a few minutes, and then he says, “I love a woman that does aerobics.” The woman replies angrily, “I do not do aerobics!” The man then looks at the woman and says, “Then how did you get your leg up so high?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: A Minute Sooner “How did this accident occur?” asked the doctor. “Well,” explained the patient, “I was making love to my girlfriend on the living room rug when, all of a sudden, the chandelier came crashing down on us.” “Fortunately, you’ve only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks,” the doctor said. “You are a very lucky man.” “You said it, doc,” exclaimed the man. “A minute sooner and it could have fractured my skull!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Report Share Posted September 9, 2021 oke: I Sweat the Second Time An elderly couple went for a routine medical examination. The doctor first examines the husband and says, “You look fine. Do you have any problem?" Husband says, "It's nothing serious Doc, but the first we make love it is OK. The second time, however, I sweat hell of a lot." The doctor then examines the wife and finds her to be okay. After the examination, he says, “You look fine. Your husband was saying that the first time both of you make love, it is fine but the second time he starts sweating. Do you know why?" The wife replies, "But of course Doctor. The first time we do it is in December and the second time is in June. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Eiffel Tower and A Tick What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They're both Paris-sites Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Words For My Wife I had some words for my wife... She had some paragraphs for me Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Live and Learn Life hack... You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’s birthday Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Emotional Baggage Who's the genius that decided to call it "Emotional baggage"... .... and not "griefcase." \ Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Whiskey Diet I’m on a whiskey diet... I’ve lost three days already Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: The REAL College Plan College is really just kidnapping done backwards... If you don’t give us a ridiculously large amount of money, we’ll send you your child back! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Animal Lovers In a moment of closeness, she whispered, "I love you dearly!" Now, he was an avid hunter and he heard, "I love you deerly!" In order to continue the romance, he said, "And I love you bearly!" But, alas, she heard, "I love you barely!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Pedometer App I thought there was something wrong with my pedometer app. It thought there was something wrong with me. It asked me if I had died. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: My Son The Lawyer My son is studying to become a lawyer, so I texted him... "If you tickle a man to death by accident... is it manslaughter??? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Hard of Hearing Two farmers, a bit hard of hearing were talking. Frank: Are you going to Adrian's today? Joe: No, I’m going to Adrian's. Frank: Oh, my bad. I thought you were going to Adrian's today. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Workout Routine I started a new workout routine this week, doing crunches twice a day... I do Cap'n in the morning and Nestle's in the afternoon Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Living By The Pen "You should meet my husband. He makes a living with his pen." "Oh, so he's a writer?" "No, he raises pigs. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: You've Had It! A ninety-year-old man goes to a hooker. When he gets undressed, she looks at his limp member and says, “Mister, you’ve had it.” Without missing a beat he says, “Thank you very much… how much do I owe you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: How About Those Drinks Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar. Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick." The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?" Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!" America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly so irate?" Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Father's Helping Hand A father was driving nails while constructing a play house for his children. The youngest boy asked if he could hammer a nail. The father granted his request and showed him how to do it. The boy did as his father had explained and lightly tapped to set the nail before hammering it in but he struck his thumb. It wasn’t enough force to bruise or break the skin but the father also knew it couldn’t have felt good. After a few more attempts with the exact same result the father asked his son if he could help. His son quickly answered by saying, “Yes, would you hold the nail so I can get a good swing at it?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: She WAS Uninjured A young man had just brought a motorcycle, and takes his girlfriend for a ride. After a few minutes, she says, "Darling, I’m cold, this top won't fasten at the front, and the wind is rather cold." "Put your jacket on backwards, it'll keep the chill out," the man replies. She does so, suddenly the bike crashes after skidding. The man wakes up in hospital and asked the doctor what happened to his girlfriend. "Well, she was uninjured in the crash. She was actually fine until someone turned her head around the right way." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: The Fourth Time Is A Charm Two colleagues opened an office in a small town and put a sign reading 'Dr. Smith and Dr. Stein, Psychiatry and G2Proctology'. The town council was not pleased with the sign so the doctors changed it to read 'Minds and Behinds'. This was not acceptable either, so they tried again with 'Schizoids and Hemorrhoids'. Not accepted. After a third try of 'Catatonics and High Colonic' was not accepted and they were near wits end, the doctors made one final proposal, which to their eternal relief, the council accepted... 'Dr. Smith and Dr. Stein, Odds and Ends Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Send Me the Pearl An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ship watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat; it read: ”Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife’s body at the bottom of the ocean. We brought her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster that has a pearl worth $500,000. Please advice." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Unnecessary Work I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced, "Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work." An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed when the announcement rang loud and clear, "Resume all unnecessary work." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Peking Duck Golf Dinner As a way to compensate for their absence, a group of golfing buddies decided to all pitch in twenty bucks and one with the best golf score would take their wife dancing and dinner. The wives liked this idea since it was more than they had before. Fred's wife was especially wanting him to win and the moment he returned after golfing she excitedly asked, "Are we having a special dinner tonight Fred?" "Yes we are my dear, how does Peking Duck sound?" She said, "That sounds great." Fred replied, "Good, while driving over the pond on the 7th hole, I accidentally hit one. All we need now is the recipe. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Farmer Brown's Chickens The chickens on farmer Brown’s farm refused to go all out in their egg laying. One day a football was accidentally kicked into the yard. The rooster looked at the football and said to the hens, “I’m not complaining, but look at the work they’re turning out next door. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: The Square Who Fell in Love Why did the square fall in love with the right triangle? She had the right legs. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: The Ewok Crossed the Road How did the ewok get across the road? E-walked! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Some Come Here Some come here to sit and think… Some come here to shit and stink… I come here to scratch my balls… And read the writing on the walls. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: The Essay Assignment A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex, mystery. The prize winning essay read: "My Goodness!" said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: You Want, Yes? A young guy was laying on his back on a massage table, wearing only a towel over his groin. A young, very attractive Swedish girl was massaging his shoulders, then his chest, and gradually worked her way down his torso. The guy was getting sexually excited as the masseur approached the towel. The towel began to lift and the Swedish girl arched her eyebrows. “You wantt, yes?” she asked, acknowledging his state of arousal. “You bet!” was the excited reply. “Okay,” she said. “I come back in then minutes.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: Mutual Orgasm? A young married woman and an older married woman sitting together on a train from Boston to New York. As sometimes happens with strangers in such an environment, they began to discuss highly personal matters. As they were passing through Hartford, the younger woman spoke up thoughtfully, “Tell me, do you and your husband have mutual orgasms?” “No,” replied the older lady, “I think we have State Farm.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: You're Bullshitting Me A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2021 Report Share Posted September 10, 2021 Joke: My Dad Scribbles Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat! My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a 'Sermon' and it takes eight people to collect all the money! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts