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Joke: How Many Trees?

My son asked my how you can tell if someone is an alcoholic.

 

I said, “Do you see those four trees over there? Well, an alcoholic would see eight.”

 

My son said, “But Dad, I only see two.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Chessboard Cake

I bought a chessboard cake from the baker’s today.

 

I took one bite and said, “It’s stale, mate.”

 

He seemed surprised and said, “No, mate.”

 

I handed it to him and said, “Check mate.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Cutting Back the Sex


Every Friday a few guys get together after work at the local watering hole. One Friday Sam showed up late. He sat down at the bar and powered down his entire first drink in one huge gulp.

Then he turned to Jim and said, “Times are getting tough, my friend. Today my wife told me the she is going to cut back sex with me to just twice a week. I can’t believe it.”

Jim put his hand on Sam’s shoulder and said reassuringly, “You think you’ve got it bad? She’s cut some guys out all together!”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Airplane Mode

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely it’s not going to rain again today?”

 

She replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”

 

I guess I left my phone in Airplane mode again.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Food Truck Chuck
 

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...

How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Cash or Credit? 


Three guys went to a striptease joint. The young lady on stage, wearing only thongs and a smile came up to the first guy and performed her dance for him. He took out $100.00, and slapped it on her right cheek. It stuck.

Then she proceeded to the second guy. She did her same dance and the guy took out $100.00 and slapped it on her left cheek. It stuck.

She then went to the third guy and performed her dance. The third guy pulled out his wallet, only to realize that he did not have any cash. So, he took his debt card and swiped it between her cheeks and took the $200.00.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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