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The 34,000th post

 

Joke: The Going Rate
 

A farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbour’s, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?"

"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Jeffrey? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Jeffrey getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”

The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Jeffrey."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: If Anything Ever Happens

My girlfriend said to me the other day, “If anything ever happens to me, I want you to meet someone new.”

 

Apparently, getting stuck in traffic doesn’t count as “anything”.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A Straight Crab
 

A female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her, but he was walking straight and not sideways.

Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately. The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab. She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"

He answered, "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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