worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Find Us Some Girls Two drunk guys are standing at the bar getting their acts together near closing time. “I’ve got an idea,” says one. “Let’s have one more drink and then go and find us some girls.” “NO,” replies the other one with a wink. “I’ve got more than I can handle at home.” “Great. Then let’s have one more for the road and go up to your place.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: It'd Be Nice For Once This man was during the Olympics. He walks in a store and finds Olympics condoms, they come in gold, silver and bronze. He buys some and brings them back to his wife that night. "Honey," the man says, "I bought some Olympic condoms today and I thought we'd try one tonight." So that night the woman asks, "So what colour are you wearing?" He replies "Gold, of course!" She says, "Oh honey, can't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for once." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Illegal Use This guy was working on his car when he got gas on his hand and arm. As he was driving to the Auto Shop to get some more parts, he lit a match, his arm then caught on fire. In a panic he quickly rolled down the window and stuck his arm out to extinguish the flame. The police pulled him over for an illegal use of a firearm. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: What's A Contingent Fee? "What is a contingent fee?" asked the potential client. The lawyer took a deep breath and then answered. "A contingent fee to a lawyer means that if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win your suit, you get nothing." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Lower My Sex Drive A 97-year old man visits his doctor and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.” “Sir," replied the doctor, “you are 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?” “You are darned right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want lowered!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Embroidered Panties The young woman had just purchased some lingerie and asked the clerk if she might have the sentence 'If you can read this, you are too damn close' custom embroidered on her panties. “Yes, madam,” said the clerk. “I’m quite certain that can be done. Would you prefer block of script letters?” “Braille,” said the young woman. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Male or Female? At the Immigration’s desk in a port, a newcomer hands over his papers. The clerk checks them over and says, "Sir you put 2 in the SEX section?" "Yes, 2 times per week." "But is it male or female?" "It doesn't matter." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 Joke: Overdid the Hormone Pills “Dr. Smith,” said the woman in a very deep voice, "I – I hate to say it, but I thing you overdid it on the hormone pills.” “Don’t worry,” the doctor assured her. “A deep voice is a natural development. It will only last a few days.” “But I’ve also noticed hair on my chest,” she said. “Really? And how far down does it reach.” She replied, “All the way to my balls.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 Joke: On What Grounds "So Ms. Burn,” said the judge, “you wish me to grant you a divorce. On what grounds?” “Two acres,” she said. The judge glared. “I mean do you have a grudge?” “Yes sir,” she replied. “Fits two cars.” “Madam what I mean is -- does he beat you up?” “Never. I get up half an our before him to do aerobics.” Shaking his head, the judge said, “I just can’t understand why you want a divorce!” “Because,” the woman complained, “We just don’t communicate!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 Joke: All the Women A man was in a bar and overheard the milkman boasting that he had made love to all the women on his route apart from one. When the man arrived home, he related what he had heard to his wife. She said, "I bet it's that stuck up bitch at No. 23!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 Joke: My Titswiggle A young woman had lost her precious puppy, who she named Titswiggle. She pinned up signs and posters and went door-to-door asking about her precious puppy. When she came to a door, a man appeared and asked, “What are you doing here?" She asked back, “Have you seen my Titswiggle?" The man replied with a red face," Yes, I watch you through my bedroom window before I go to bed." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 Joke: We Didn't Talk About You Old Mrs. Jones comes home after her doctor’s appointment. “I got a clean bill of health,” she tells Old Mr. Jones. “The doctor says I have the legs of an eighteen-year-old.” “Whoop-dee-doo,” her husband says, sarcastically. “What did he say bout your seventy-five-year-old ass?” “Actually, he didn’t mention you at all.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 Joke: I Knew You'd Ask A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him: "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness replied: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?" "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 Joke: Pierced Bellybuttons Why do women have their bellybuttons pierced? It's a darn good place to hang an air freshener. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 Joke: Pierced Bellybuttons Why do women have their bellybuttons pierced? It's a darn good place to hang an air freshener. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 Joke: Drive Her Wild Three guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together. One guy says, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?" "Well," says the second guy, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a soft breath that drives her wild." Next guy says, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!" Last guy says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtain. Drives her fucking nuts!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 Joke: Ever Since My Wife Found It A man notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow, so naturally he’s curious about the sudden burst of fashion daring. He says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings?” “Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring,” the other guy replies sheepishly. “Well, I’m curious. How long have you been wearing an earring?” “Well, ever since my wife found it in our bed.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Joke: Perks of a BJ What’s the best thing about a blowjob? Ten minutes of silence. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Joke: Crushed Nuts A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "Arthritis." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Joke: When I Drink, Everybody Drinks A guy walks into a bar, and shouts: "When I drink - everybody drinks!" Everybody’s cheering him, and applauding like crazy. Feeling great he finishes his beer, asks for another one, and shouts: "When I drink again - everybody drinks again!" Once again, everybody's cheering him. He’s the hero of the bar. When he's done drinking, he pulls out his wallet, and shouts: "When I pay - everybody pays!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Joke: One Drink Limit An attractive woman was asked by the party host whether she would like another drink. “No I mustn’t, she replied. “My husband limits me to one drink.” "Why is that?” asked the host. “Because,” she replied, “after one drink I can feel it, and after two drinks anyone can.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Joke: Oh, Ohhh, Mmmm The spinster was feeling extremely tense, so she went to see Dr. Feluchi. The analyst concluded that she was suffering from repressed sexual desires, and proceeded to hypnotize her in an effort to relieve the problem. After she was in a trance, he asked her to spell “bedroom”. Staring ahead, the young woman said, "B… E… D… R… Oh… Ohhhh… Mmmmmmm.” And just like that, her stress was gone. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Quack, Quack Duck #1: "Quack." Duck #2: "Quack." Duck #3: "Quack, Quack." Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3. Duck #2: "Why did you shoot him?" Duck #1: "He knew too much." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Her Birthday I asked my wife when her birthday was. She said March 1st. So I walked around the room and asked again. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Ask Out 5 Why was 4 scared to ask out 5? Because 4 was 2². Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: My Drunk Date A man was at the bar and every so often he would pour some beer on his hand. The woman sitting next to him asked, "What are you doing?” “Getting my date drunk,” he replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Where's My Watch? A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jaguar XK-8 in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Jag. The counsellor immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. In less than five minutes, a policeman pulled up. Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Jag, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you high rolling' lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn’t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you. "OH MY GOODNESS!" screamed the lawyer, "My Rolex!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Smell It In the Air Two prostitutes are standing on a street corner. One says to the other, "I think it's gonna be a good night tonight, I can smell cock in the air!" "Sorry," says the other, "I just burped." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Eyes Pop Out A BMW asks a VW Beetle, "Why do your eyes pop out of your body like that?" The beetle replied, "Let them stick an engine up your ass and see what happens to your eyes!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Hate My Mother-In-Law Cannibal #1: "I hate my mother-in-law." Cannibal #2: "Well, then just eat the noodles." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Senior Halloween I just finished candy shopping for Halloween. That’s when the 55 and over seniors in golf carts show up for trick or trick, in my community. They will have three choice of: Prilosec; Pepto, Zyrtec, Mylanta, or the ever popular, Gas-X. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Gourmet Cooking Advice Why do gourmet cook stock on herbs and spices in the fall? Because they're seasonal. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Giving Up Smoking I went to the doctor to see if he can help me to stop smoking. He suggested that every time I felt like smoking I should reach for a chocolate bar. It didn't work, because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the chocolate bar to light. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Fishing International Waters While in international waters, a commercial fishing boat was taking on water. The Captain got on the radio, “May Day, May Day!” In a few moments he heard a crackling response on his radio from another fishing boat, “June Day, June Day.” Then yet another fishing boat responded, “July Day, July Day.” The First Mate said, “Captain, what do all these responses mean in international code?" The Captain replied, “It means man the life boats.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Cure For Hiccups A guy goes to the doctor, “Do you have something against a persistent hiccup?” The doctor gives him a huge slap in the face and says, “Yes. Sorry, this is the best treatment.” The guy holds his cheek and says, “Okay, but it’s actually my wife who’s got the issue!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Hardly Worth It Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "Ninety eight," she replied, "two years older than me." "So you're 96?" the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 Joke: Cat Calls A veterinarian surgeon had a bad day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals, his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner. After dinner, they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady. "Yes, it is," replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?" "Well, sort of," said the elderly lady, "There's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating, and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied, "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone." "Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?" "Well, it should," said the vet, "It stopped ME!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: Bad Steak I told the waitress my steak was bad. She picked it up, slapped it, and threw it back down. She said, "If it gives you any more trouble, let me know." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: Odd Doctor My doctor has an odd sense of humor. When I broke my leg skiing he thought it was humerus. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: My Phone I put my phone under my pillow last night. When I woke up it was gone and there was a $1 coin in it's place. It was the Bluetooth Fairy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: Give A Man A Fish Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day... Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: New Alarm Clock For her birthday, the only gift I got my wife is an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping. She is in for a rude awakening. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: A Funny Bone What happens when you boil a funny bone? It becomes a laughing stock. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: Uncomfortable Recliner My Grandpa used to sit in a rocking chair. He had a recliner, but didn't use it because it wasn't comfortable for him. So one night when were over there, Dad tried putting shims under the recliner feet to change the angle, to see if that would make it better for him. While we were doing that, Grandma was rummaging around in the closet and knocked over a box of marbles. That is forever stuck in my mind as the night Grandpa was off his rocker and Grandma lost her marbles. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: That's Alright, Lady While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." "That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: The Fiery Discussion The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count to fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: "Ninety eight, ninety-nine, one hundred... Your coat's on fire, sir!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Joke: Playing Hide-and-Seek A husband returned earlier from a business trip and he wanted to surprise his wife. The wife was, of course, in the bed with the neighbour - Peter. As she heard her husband coming home she told Peter to hide in the wardrobe. She lied down on the floor, pretending she had a heart attack. Her husband came in and saw his wife on the floor. He was very alarmed! At that moment his little kid came in saying, “Daddy, daddy! Peter is hiding in the wardrobe!” The man went to the wardrobe and shouted, “You nerd! Instead helping me with my sick wife, you're playing hide-and-seek with the kid!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 Joke: A Ladder Story This is my step ladder... I never knew my real ladder. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 Joke: Milk In the Bag Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’ Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 Joke: New Amazon Activity Amazon is approved for drone delivery... Which means we now have skeet shooting with prizes. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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